Title: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 20 June, 2007, 09:32:19 pm yea, pretty much anything you wish to say about my story so far.
Post away. Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Killer_Spatula on 20 June, 2007, 09:35:27 pm It's good, I like it, especially since I was in it :3
Speaking of which, go check out mine :3 Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 20 June, 2007, 09:41:34 pm It's good, I like it, especially since I was in it :3 I have...Speaking of which, go check out mine :3 I can't tell if im a good guy or a bad guy...... Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Killer_Spatula on 20 June, 2007, 09:42:23 pm Neither.
Everyone is fighting :3 Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: sasori1122 on 20 June, 2007, 09:57:59 pm VERY NICE
Go and check out my story soon too...it is gonna get an update pretty soon...maybe...maybe tonight...but more likely tomorrow Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 20 June, 2007, 11:53:50 pm Thanks, all.
I might get another chapter in tomorrow, I'll see what happens. If i do, I will be planning on shedding some light on the origins of the trolls, and I have to wrap up the battle inside the lounge.... Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Marie Rose on 21 June, 2007, 08:51:52 am This is the same story you did on GFaqs, right?
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 21 June, 2007, 10:24:41 am This is the same story you did on GFaqs, right? Yes, and I will be continuing it here.... Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Cube^3 on 21 June, 2007, 10:28:42 am I like it.
The absence of me is okay, as nobody can truly capture my essence. ;) Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 21 June, 2007, 10:29:24 am I like it. The absence of me is okay, as nobody can truly capture my essence. ;) You never asked to be in before..... Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Mad Irish Kid on 21 June, 2007, 12:42:08 pm Just read it, its really good. ;D
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 21 June, 2007, 01:06:01 pm ^_^
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: FrozenIndustry on 21 June, 2007, 05:03:50 pm Yay, it's back! I thought that I'd never see it again after you got banned. It's good to see you again.
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 21 June, 2007, 05:32:19 pm ^_^
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: FrozenIndustry on 21 June, 2007, 07:36:24 pm MOAR STORY NAOW!
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Obsidius on 21 June, 2007, 11:48:50 pm What Lord said.
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 22 June, 2007, 02:09:47 am sorry, i didnt get to it.
I wasn't planning of trying so hard to achieve high scores in the arcade..... ;D but, it paid off, for I hold to most #1 spots!!!! Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: FrozenIndustry on 22 June, 2007, 07:19:51 am Alright, just start as soon as possible.
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: BlueAnnihilator on 22 June, 2007, 11:46:24 am Like I said before, I love any story with me in a main role. Plus you portrayed me so very well. Absolutely fantastic. ;D
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: TBizzle on 22 June, 2007, 11:51:22 pm I will read your story after one of these questions has been answered: Am I in it? If not, can I be in it?
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 22 June, 2007, 11:53:52 pm I will read your story after one of these questions has been answered: Am I in it? If not, can I be in it? I don't think you are in it......yet. I suggest you read it, and then come back and ask me how you would like to be added... Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 23 June, 2007, 01:29:00 am Just added part 1 of chp 6.
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 23 June, 2007, 01:40:25 am and I will probably get some flames for my 2nd part......
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: FrozenIndustry on 23 June, 2007, 06:13:26 am That's much better. It feels like we're getting close to my possible entry. ;D
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 23 June, 2007, 11:43:17 am That's much better. It feels like we're getting close to my possible entry. ;D I didn't forget your entry. Ithis event will tie into your intro, but there will be some buildup first....Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Marie Rose on 23 June, 2007, 08:25:36 pm Just read ch.6 a minute ago (had to do something earlier) Good job d(^_^)b
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: TBizzle on 23 June, 2007, 08:26:53 pm I wanna be in it!!!
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 23 June, 2007, 09:51:45 pm the chapter isnt done yet.....
you all will find out the reason for the trolls!!! ...and some of you might hate me for it. Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: GAY FOR BRIDGET(HousecallDoc) on 23 June, 2007, 10:45:59 pm Me in the story = INSTA-WIN!
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 23 June, 2007, 10:59:15 pm Me in the story = INSTA-WIN! ^_^ just to let you know, you'll have more appearances later in the story, and not just as the local doctor. Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: GAY FOR BRIDGET(HousecallDoc) on 23 June, 2007, 11:14:42 pm More appearance by me = INSTA-GOD!
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Dusty Starr on 24 June, 2007, 01:47:58 am I have yet to read your story jawo, but am I in it?
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 24 June, 2007, 11:59:21 am I have yet to read your story jawo, but am I in it? ...and you are? Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 24 June, 2007, 04:04:47 pm So, everyone ready for part 2 of chp 6?
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Fuuka Yamagishi on 24 June, 2007, 04:45:15 pm Can I say, Awesome?
that's about all I can think of to say. Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 24 June, 2007, 04:45:34 pm So, you like the plot twist?
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Fuuka Yamagishi on 24 June, 2007, 04:47:05 pm Yup.
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: TBizzle on 24 June, 2007, 06:35:19 pm Nice ending to a chapter. ;D
So when am I in it? Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 24 June, 2007, 06:35:38 pm ^.^
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Dusty Starr on 24 June, 2007, 09:00:25 pm You don't know me, well that makes sense, we nevr really talked and a little while after I came you got banned, or left, I'm not sure witch.
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 24 June, 2007, 09:01:59 pm .....you seem to fit the profile of a certain troll that i detest......
what is your username on GF? Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Dusty Starr on 24 June, 2007, 11:48:06 pm My name is El_Dustino, and I am no troll.
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 24 June, 2007, 11:53:36 pm My name is El_Dustino, and I am no troll. Ok, now that name sounds a little familliar.... well, enjoy the story then. ^_^ Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Dusty Starr on 25 June, 2007, 12:53:58 am I have read your story and I have to say that it is really good.
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: FrozenIndustry on 25 June, 2007, 06:58:22 pm Amazing plot twist. I would have never thought of it.
Keep up the amazing work! Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 26 June, 2007, 08:24:49 pm *is waiting for more thoughts of the chapter before I continue...*
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: FrozenIndustry on 26 June, 2007, 08:52:02 pm *is waiting for more thoughts of the chapter before I continue...* No! Start now! :P Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 26 June, 2007, 09:04:37 pm *is waiting for more thoughts of the chapter before I continue...* No! Start now! :P Are there any boards you go to or used to go to at GameFAQs? Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: FrozenIndustry on 26 June, 2007, 09:45:21 pm *is waiting for more thoughts of the chapter before I continue...* No! Start now! :P Are there any boards you go to or used to go to at GameFAQs? The TP General board, but only for a bit. Why? Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 26 June, 2007, 09:57:29 pm ok, good enough....
we will speak no more of the matter, trust me with this knowledge. ^_^ Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: FrozenIndustry on 26 June, 2007, 10:14:59 pm ok, good enough.... we will speak no more of the matter, trust me with this knowledge. ^_^ Ah, I see what you mean. Don't worry, I will remain silent on the matter. Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: LuigiKong on 28 June, 2007, 10:29:03 am JoshCube: You’ll never catch me, Fooby. Not as long as I’m wearing THESE!!! *puts on red sneakers*
Fooby_Kamikaze: tisk, tisk….. *runs after JoshCube* ….you’re not blue or have spines, moron!! JoshCube: AAHH!! *runs away* That made me seriously lol. I hope I make a cameo, but if I don't oh well. Awesome story though! 10/10. Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: GAY FOR BRIDGET(HousecallDoc) on 28 June, 2007, 07:20:47 pm RAWR, ME WANT MOAR STOREE NAO!
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Killer_Spatula on 29 June, 2007, 08:25:45 am *gets average of 3 to 4 comments per scene/chapter in my story*
And you are waiting why? >_____> Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 29 June, 2007, 05:07:09 pm BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!
I'll write some more of my story tonight... Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Killer_Spatula on 29 June, 2007, 09:03:20 pm I'll go to your story if you go to mine...>_>
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: FrozenIndustry on 29 June, 2007, 09:04:41 pm *blows open topic door, with COG Lancer Chainsaw Rifle roaring*
MOAR STORY NAOW! Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 04 July, 2007, 12:20:42 pm Sorry for the lack of updates, people.
The good news, however, is that I have finally develloped a semi-plot for my story. Agaranok, you will be mentioned in next chapter, along with a more clear revelation to the plot. I will also be writing in a "special" place of GF that most cannot even enter, which ties into you, Agaranok. I am debating wether or not to include TheMissingLink so soon, as he could be written in as soon as 2 more chapters. So, this is my heads up, i guess. Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Ahriman on 05 July, 2007, 11:49:24 pm Oh Em Gee I'm gonna be in the next part. >_>
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 05 July, 2007, 11:52:06 pm Oh Em Gee I'm gonna be in the next part. >_> yea. you are in mainly as an "ice-breaker" to Agaranok though, as you two have a slight commonality that I plan to write into the story. But don't worry, you won't just disappear after this. Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Ahriman on 06 July, 2007, 12:35:40 am Alright then.
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: FrozenIndustry on 06 July, 2007, 07:41:14 am Yay! An update!
As soon as I enter, I'm going to shut up about you not updating, Jawo. Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: GAY FOR BRIDGET(HousecallDoc) on 06 July, 2007, 04:48:51 pm YAY! MOAR STOREE PLOX!
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: TBizzle on 06 July, 2007, 05:05:59 pm Am I ever gonna be in this? ???
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: MuteCity421 on 07 July, 2007, 11:08:59 pm Very nice, and I appreciate me being MMR at that time. Keep up the good work.
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 10 July, 2007, 11:24:54 pm ATTN: ALL MY FANS!!!
Chp. 7, part 2 has been added. Enjoy! Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: FrozenIndustry on 11 July, 2007, 02:41:28 pm MY NAME WAS MENTIONED!
I'll stop bugging you now... Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Fuuka Yamagishi on 11 July, 2007, 10:38:40 pm JAWOOOOOOOOOOOO when do i get to beat people senseless?
J/K. Take your time. lol, deleted at jawo's request. Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 11 July, 2007, 10:42:05 pm JAWOOOOOOOOOOOO when do i get to beat people senseless? J/K. Take your time. lol at Tbizzle being a random guy. SHHH, DONT SPOIL IT FOR HIM!!!! Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Ahriman on 11 July, 2007, 11:06:58 pm <_< @ my position.
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 11 July, 2007, 11:07:53 pm <_< @ my position. You'll see action, though. trust me. Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: GAY FOR BRIDGET(HousecallDoc) on 12 July, 2007, 02:46:05 pm Grr, I hate JOO JAWO'! JOOR STOREE ROX!
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 12 July, 2007, 02:55:14 pm Grr, I hate JOO JAWO'! JOOR STOREE ROX! why do you hate me?Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Fuuka Yamagishi on 12 July, 2007, 04:01:17 pm Because your story rocks?
I'm guessing he thinks yours is better than his. I'm not saying anything though. Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 12 July, 2007, 04:51:32 pm He has a story?
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Fuuka Yamagishi on 12 July, 2007, 10:32:14 pm Yep.
http://newssbb.smfforfree3.com/index.php/board,35.0.html Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 12 July, 2007, 11:00:08 pm umm, that's bizzle's story.
I quoted HousecallDoc. Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Fuuka Yamagishi on 12 July, 2007, 11:23:40 pm sorry, I got confused.
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: TBizzle on 13 July, 2007, 06:29:27 pm ...
Eh, good enough... Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 17 July, 2007, 01:35:53 pm added a little more to chp. 8...
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: GAY FOR BRIDGET(HousecallDoc) on 17 July, 2007, 09:31:24 pm YAY! MORE STORY! MAKE MORE NAO!
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 21 July, 2007, 12:52:01 pm *has finished chp 8*
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Fuuka Yamagishi on 21 July, 2007, 12:57:52 pm Woo! Exciting!
I love lounge fights. Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: GAY FOR BRIDGET(HousecallDoc) on 21 July, 2007, 01:10:06 pm *reads new addition*
YAY! Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 21 July, 2007, 02:35:03 pm Woo! Exciting! I love lounge fights. there really wasn't much of one there.... Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Fuuka Yamagishi on 22 July, 2007, 07:37:37 pm Close enough.
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: GAY FOR BRIDGET(HousecallDoc) on 23 July, 2007, 05:54:04 pm I still can't wait for the next installment!
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 23 July, 2007, 05:58:08 pm I'll get to it soon.
I will be busy establishing my name again in GF as well... Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: GAY FOR BRIDGET(HousecallDoc) on 23 July, 2007, 06:02:25 pm 'kay.
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Ahriman on 24 July, 2007, 01:54:53 am You could've asked me for TPSBian knowledge, Jawo. >_>
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 24 July, 2007, 09:06:06 am ...lol, so you saw that topic, did you?
meh, I wanted it to be a surprise.... Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Izzy fo shizzy on 01 August, 2007, 02:20:22 pm nice story jawo
I'm in it lol thanx Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Link_Cable on 02 August, 2007, 08:43:46 pm Nice story Jawo'!
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 02 August, 2007, 08:45:30 pm yay, comments!!!
actually i was thinking of writing more tonight...........im just a little nervous. I have so many ideas i want to get on paper and I dont wanna forget them all.... Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Fuuka Yamagishi on 03 August, 2007, 11:15:43 pm Just do what I do, write them down in notepad and save them somewhere.
(I'm half-writing a story, it's just ideas at the moment) Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 07 August, 2007, 06:37:03 pm *has added chp. 9*
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Fuuka Yamagishi on 08 August, 2007, 10:55:41 pm *goes to read*
Darkblaze expects big fights coming up soon, with a rescue mission in order. Whoops, I'm making predictions on stories. >_> Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 08 August, 2007, 11:43:28 pm ^_^
I'm not confirming anything.... Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Random on 09 August, 2007, 10:55:02 pm I can't help but notice that the only appearance I've made in this story is a cameo saying something that I never say.
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: GAY FOR BRIDGET(HousecallDoc) on 11 August, 2007, 02:04:28 am Can't wait for my re-entry into this story.
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: sasori1122 on 11 August, 2007, 10:41:17 am ^_^
Good stuff! Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: GAY FOR BRIDGET(HousecallDoc) on 23 August, 2007, 09:46:56 pm UPDATE. NAO.
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 24 August, 2007, 02:13:44 pm I actually have a very small snip of the next chapter.....
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Fuuka Yamagishi on 24 August, 2007, 02:48:29 pm Yes!
*reads* Not good. T_T The lounge is in trouble. Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: FrozenIndustry on 01 September, 2007, 03:04:58 pm Hey, Jawo. Just to let you know, I've changed into a human-like dark knight instead of a kirby-like form. If it interferes at all with the story, then just keep it in the old way. I'll post a picture of what I look like now soon.
Anyways, it just keeps getting better. I can't wait for the next update. Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Random on 03 September, 2007, 09:42:06 pm "I like pie."
>_> Am I really that hard to write about? Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 04 September, 2007, 12:17:44 am "I like pie." oh, come on. You know very well that the segment was purely for comical reasons.>_> Am I really that hard to write about? if i want you to fight, I'll be sure to include your knife-wrenches, ok? Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: GAY FOR BRIDGET(HousecallDoc) on 04 September, 2007, 03:13:49 pm It's about time my favorite story gets updated!
*reads addition* Uh-oh. I wonder what's going to happen next. Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Killer_Spatula on 05 September, 2007, 06:48:03 pm I highly appreciate being included in your story, Jawo'. =D
~JudgmentAngel and Adol_the_Red look at each other. Adol: Uhh, rock-paper-scissors for it? XD Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Spring-Loaded on 05 September, 2007, 07:02:43 pm I have only one suggestion: Somehow put this in the story.....
"*And then *Whoever* made him bite the curb.* 'You murdered them.....YOU KILLED THEM ALL!!' said *Whoever*. Bad Guy:'Heh....I just wanted some extra cash, that's all.' **Whoever* lifts his foot* Bad Guy: 'Wait, don't you want to hear my last words?!' *Whoever*:".........I just did." If you can fit that in somewhere, I'm sure it woud help. Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 12 September, 2007, 10:10:46 am Hey, Jawo. Just to let you know, I've changed into a human-like dark knight instead of a kirby-like form. If it interferes at all with the story, then just keep it in the old way. I'll post a picture of what I look like now soon. It won't make a difference...Anyways, it just keeps getting better. I can't wait for the next update. I portray everyone in a human-like fashion, anyway. I highly appreciate being included in your story, Jawo'. =D ~JudgmentAngel and Adol_the_Red look at each other. Adol: Uhh, rock-paper-scissors for it? XD Yea, I thought that one was worth chuckling over. ^_^ I have only one suggestion: Somehow put this in the story..... "*And then *Whoever* made him bite the curb.* 'You murdered them.....YOU KILLED THEM ALL!!' said *Whoever*. Bad Guy:'Heh....I just wanted some extra cash, that's all.' **Whoever* lifts his foot* Bad Guy: 'Wait, don't you want to hear my last words?!' *Whoever*:".........I just did." If you can fit that in somewhere, I'm sure it woud help. I.....don't think that will work.... >_> Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Zigzagoon on 14 September, 2007, 06:04:18 pm >=O!
I look lame... and helpless =( Oh well. I lol'd after I said something then it was like Snaketheserpet: <Is knocked out> XD Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Spring-Loaded on 14 September, 2007, 10:34:43 pm Hey, Jawo. Just to let you know, I've changed into a human-like dark knight instead of a kirby-like form. If it interferes at all with the story, then just keep it in the old way. I'll post a picture of what I look like now soon. It won't make a difference...Anyways, it just keeps getting better. I can't wait for the next update. I portray everyone in a human-like fashion, anyway. I highly appreciate being included in your story, Jawo'. =D ~JudgmentAngel and Adol_the_Red look at each other. Adol: Uhh, rock-paper-scissors for it? XD Yea, I thought that one was worth chuckling over. ^_^ I have only one suggestion: Somehow put this in the story..... "*And then *Whoever* made him bite the curb.* 'You murdered them.....YOU KILLED THEM ALL!!' said *Whoever*. Bad Guy:'Heh....I just wanted some extra cash, that's all.' **Whoever* lifts his foot* Bad Guy: 'Wait, don't you want to hear my last words?!' *Whoever*:".........I just did." If you can fit that in somewhere, I'm sure it woud help. I.....don't think that will work.... >_> You're right, it would :) Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: GAY FOR BRIDGET(HousecallDoc) on 15 September, 2007, 08:59:35 pm Finish your work! I wanna find out the plan!
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 25 September, 2007, 01:06:32 pm sorry, it's just so damn hard to get my idea on paper...
I added another segment to the chapter at least.... :-\ Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Fuuka Yamagishi on 25 September, 2007, 07:15:14 pm Yeah, It can be difficult...
Anyway, someone's gonna end up with a lotta bullets. Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: GAY FOR BRIDGET(HousecallDoc) on 29 September, 2007, 02:21:27 pm I still love this story! MOAR NAO! (just don't hurt yourself).
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Fuuka Yamagishi on 04 October, 2007, 06:57:40 pm ...Awesome, yet again.
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: GAY FOR BRIDGET(HousecallDoc) on 06 October, 2007, 09:03:44 pm Lawl, Sasori's a gangster.
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Dusty Starr on 26 October, 2007, 12:31:45 pm I forgot about this, I need to start reading it again.
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Marie Rose on 27 October, 2007, 11:19:52 am Excellent :P b Man, I haven't commented in a long time
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Fuuka Yamagishi on 08 November, 2007, 04:47:18 pm Small update?
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 08 November, 2007, 04:48:17 pm Small update? Very. Basically I just cleaned up some stuff in the chapter and the previous. I an working on the next one finally though. I figure it's high damn time, huh? Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Fuuka Yamagishi on 08 November, 2007, 10:02:50 pm Sure is. :P
Lol, Dizi. Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 07 January, 2008, 10:25:56 am Added 6 lines to the story. :P
Sorry for teasing >_< Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Fuuka Yamagishi on 07 January, 2008, 10:28:05 am Ah, It's ok. You don't get paid for this, and you probably don't have a lot of time to work on it.
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 07 January, 2008, 10:29:45 am True.
I'm finally off work for a couple days, and I've been wanting to update a bunch of stuff. After I finally added info to my Lounge Bio *hint hint* I did a quick type here. Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 08 January, 2008, 09:41:33 am A few more lines added.
Some deep sh** up in here now... Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Marie Rose on 08 January, 2008, 12:34:41 pm Hmm? You updated?
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 08 January, 2008, 12:39:22 pm Hmm? You updated? days off of work make me do crazy stuff.... Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Marie Rose on 08 January, 2008, 12:40:57 pm Ahh, still working huh? Where do you work anyway?
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 08 January, 2008, 12:41:46 pm Ahh, still working huh? Where do you work anyway? a local Wal-Mart on overnights. and I intend to STILL work for quite a while, thank you... >_> Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Marie Rose on 08 January, 2008, 12:45:37 pm I C...
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: sasori1122 on 08 January, 2008, 03:54:52 pm hopefully you aren't seeking long term employment at Wal-Mart
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 09 January, 2008, 12:24:31 am hopefully you aren't seeking long term employment at Wal-Mart ....and why not? Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: sasori1122 on 09 January, 2008, 02:05:39 pm it doesn't pay well enough
and why would you want to work at a Wal Mart your entire life wouldn't it get very dull although should you become a manager, it wouldn't be as bad Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 10 January, 2008, 08:10:02 am it doesn't pay well enough and why would you want to work at a Wal Mart your entire life wouldn't it get very dull although should you become a manager, it wouldn't be as bad I never said I'd like a career out of it, but it's a job that pays money so I'm happy. I'll worry about 'getting a better job' when I'm ready to buy a house or something.... Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: GAY FOR BRIDGET(HousecallDoc) on 18 January, 2008, 04:55:58 pm *reads new addition*
I can't wait for the next. Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Spring-Loaded on 22 January, 2008, 09:41:45 pm I have only one suggestion: Somehow put this in the story..... "*And then *Whoever* made him bite the curb.* 'You murdered them.....YOU KILLED THEM ALL!!' said *Whoever*. Bad Guy:'Heh....I just wanted some extra cash, that's all.' **Whoever* lifts his foot* Bad Guy: 'Wait, don't you want to hear my last words?!' *Whoever*:".........I just did." If you can fit that in somewhere, I'm sure it woud help. I.....don't think that will work.... >_> >:U Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Youef on 23 May, 2008, 11:13:41 pm You used an underscore instead of a dash in my name! >8U
Not that it matters. >_> Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 29 May, 2008, 08:05:25 am .....sorry.....>_>
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Youef on 29 May, 2008, 03:10:19 pm It's not really a big deal, so don't bother with apologizing. >_>
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Spring-Loaded on 01 June, 2008, 09:43:46 pm I have only one suggestion: Somehow put this in the story..... "*And then *Whoever* made him bite the curb.* 'You murdered them.....YOU KILLED THEM ALL!!' said *Whoever*. Bad Guy:'Heh....I just wanted some extra cash, that's all.' **Whoever* lifts his foot* Bad Guy: 'Wait, don't you want to hear my last words?!' *Whoever*:".........I just did." If you can fit that in somewhere, I'm sure it woud help. I.....don't think that will work.... >_> >:U Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 02 June, 2008, 09:41:48 am ::)
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: 5BASS on 30 April, 2010, 05:16:26 pm I have only one suggestion: Somehow put this in the story..... "*And then *Whoever* made him bite the curb.* 'You murdered them.....YOU KILLED THEM ALL!!' said *Whoever*. Bad Guy:'Heh....I just wanted some extra cash, that's all.' **Whoever* lifts his foot* Bad Guy: 'Wait, don't you want to hear my last words?!' *Whoever*:".........I just did." If you can fit that in somewhere, I'm sure it woud help. THIS IS SPRING'S FIRST POST HE EVER MADE ON THIS SITE Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 30 April, 2010, 09:00:15 pm <_<
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Spring-Loaded on 01 May, 2010, 01:34:47 pm Not really, sis.
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: sasori1122 on 23 June, 2010, 03:53:59 pm ...hmm...
Title: Re: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story.... Post by: Jawooooooooooo on 24 June, 2010, 07:00:06 am Don't tempt me. I'd be lying if I didn't have some thoughts about trying to squeeze out a little abstract creativity lately. |