Ultimate Paradise

So since this board has become a blog-esque board, I shall take the opportunity to create a blog, depicting my exhilarating expeditions, amazing adventures and witty.... wit.

So yeah, basically this'll be your everyday blog really. A failblog even. (Ooohohohoho, I kill myself with my references)

Without further ado...

June 10th - 2009

Didn't do much today. I've got an exam tomorrow, so I just read through all the notes I've taken so I can understand it better. It seems to be working, though my money is on me forgetting it all tomorrow and being all like "That right there.... well, it definately consists of molecules of some sort. Ions too maybe. ****, I don't know, read my notes." Also went to school for a few minutes to turn in my math project. 20 **** pages worth of boring math (take that you prick of a danish education minister). No one knew where to turn it in, and hilarity ensued. Well, not really, I found out in about 30 seconds.

Shitting myself with nervousness. Don't know why, as I can explain most questions people (read: My mom) has asked me regarding chemistry. Still nervous as balls though.

Also played Team Fortress 2 today. It wuz lulzy, i pwnd nobz as demo ololo.

Yeah, boring. Hopefully I'll have more to update tomorrow, what with exams and all. Now if you'll excuse me, I will go **** myself further.

Discuss. ~ILS

---

What do you mean I'm ripping off Ty***
by having a small fonted text underneath a line at the end of my post

Talk about a boring day.
Good luck with the test though! ^.^b

FA

Fa?

True, but it's necessary to get them thar good gradez.

*nods*

What's an Fa?


Very true.

An Fa.

...fag?

FA.

...

Don't know.

I know what Fe is though.

ZOMG THATS AMAZING

Fe?

I KNOW

I KNOW WHAT Pb IS TOO

AND Ag

It's iron.

AN HERO, BIZNATCH

I'm not an hero.

Yet.

Hg!
Sn!

Oh......>.<

Br! Cl! H!

Chemistry!

*leaves nerds to their topic*

(http://img301.imageshack.us/img301/2321/asdy.png)

NERDS

Being a nerd is funneh.


June 11th - 2009

So I had my exam today. I got up early, and I got too little sleep. Though, I'm used to that, so it was no problem at all. I got to school, and then me and two other people went into the examination room to recieve our experiment. We then had to do the experiment, and explain what we were doing, why were doing it, and the theory behind it and stuff like that. Pretty basic oral examination. I picked out my experiment and, lo and behold, it was the very first experiment we did in college.

The one I got an F on. As in F for fiddlesticks.


Or ****, whichever word pleases you the most.

We went into the lab, and started to conduct our various experiments. I don't know what the other two did, I think it was something to do organic chemistry and acids. I didn't have time to pay attention really, as I was too busy trying to understand what the **** to do with the various materials, chemicals and other nefarious objects that had been placed before me. I managed to figure out what to do, and started working some magic, alchemy style. Well, I put some powder into a vial, and heated it. That's kind of like newbie alchemy. I think I did the theory pretty well. I could answer everything they asked me, expect one thing. "What is soda?" Who the **** knows what soda is? Not me, that's for sure. Soda could be a war hero of the Soviet Union for all I know. Soda the magnificent: Revenge of the Capitalist Dogs.

Yeah, Yeah, I'd watch that.

Anyway. I did my stuff, the teacher and sensor go away to discuss the grades. I **** my labcoat wondering if I did well, or **** up like the first time I did the experiment.


And I get an A. ****. YES. Not as exquisite as an A+, no, but still. I got an F the first time around. Celebrations were had (celebrations meaning I was happy and ate lunch). ALl that's left now is math and technology.

I will have to study math starting tomorrow. No breaks. Crap. Short. Sent. Ences.

So that's it for today I think. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll have to cry myself to sleep since I dislike math.

Discuss. ~ILS

---

Next goal will be a hydrogen bomb

So that's what nerds say...

Yup. Nerds also say 01101110011011110010000001110101

... whatever.

So, I'm watching K-On! ... and I like Mio.

That's good, that's good... come to the dark evil megalomaniacal happy side... we has cookie. Only one though.

No thanks. *kicks you from below*

No u. *Slaps*

*elbows*

Your elbow is weak, like glass

June 12th - 2009

I am dying. I've got a math exam this tuesday, and I've started studying today at around 11:30am. It is now around 11:06 pm, so I've studied for almost 12 hours. Oh, and I haven't taken any breaks.

I'm literally dying. I feel terrible. My back hurts (Hunched over a lot of papers for nearly 12 hours), my shoulders hurt, my fingers hurt, I've got a headache, my eyes are running... It'd be easier and quicker just to say what DOESN'T hurt. Well, my **** isn't in any sort of pain. Though it's strangely numb.


I'll have to look into that.

Anyway, I'm miserable. I'd have continued, but my body simply won't let me. At any time I try to look at a math equation, my head and body feel like it's getting singed in the fiery depths of the deepest of all hells.

So that's it really... I'm miserable, I'm tired, I'm whining on the internet and I'm Q.Q-ing. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go jump out the window.

Wait, I live on the ground floor.

****.

Discuss. ~ILS

---

Someone please kill me

It's not my fault I hit a hard place. :(

AND LOL, STUDYING FOR 12 HOURS.

It needs to be done.

Or rather, I could spread it out over the 3-4 days I have, but I want to get it over with fast, because I hate it.

Meh. I study 30 minutes the day before, and I do well.

... oh wait, I forgot you're a NERD.

ANd proud of it.

There's a reason my average grade is an A you know. When you're a weakling, you need to train your brain.

A lot I see.

How're the exams, then? *dodges a thrown maths textbook*

Indeed, indeed.


And you mean how they're conducted?

How are they going?

Well, my chemistry one went well. Don't know about the other two, haven't been to them yet.

Good luck, then.

Maybe you could masturbate? IDK.
>.>

WAT

Don't know what that's a responce too, but it sounds like a great idea :D

June 14th - 2009

MORE MATH STUDYING. But the LAST math studying too. And I mean, like, ever. Never ever again will I have to look at a math book. I am ecstatic. Hopefully my math exam will be okay, I think I've got the math stuff down now.

No updates yesterday, due to the niggling presence of Life^tm. Hopefully it'll never happen again. One of my friends turned 18, so I was at his birthday party. Didn't drink though, much to the amazement of at least 30 people present. THat is to say, everyone present. Knew 2 people when I arrived, kind-of-sort-of knew 5-6 when I left. Great success. He held a sweet speech in which he told his mom and dad he loved them. Wish I could write speeches like that.

I should totally steal that speech for my moms 50th birthday.

It was a large party, with music and drinking being the main focus, so I didn't stay for long. Went home at around 11 pm, after being there for 5-6 hours. New record for me.

'twas fun though, good times were had. Bought him a mousepad with boobs. I forgot to put a nametag on the package though. Didn't matter, he knew instantly it was from me. I wonder why.

Anyway, that's what I have to report. Tomorrow, I'll be mostly relaxing and trying to remember my notes by heart. Or I'll waste my time away by playing Team Fortress 2, one of the two. Anyway, if you'll excuse me, I must go try to clean myself of the Life^tm.

Discuss. ~ILS

---

Still don't see how people can party every weekend

He said his **** was numb...
or am I the only one who caught that?


YOU SAID YOUR **** WAS NUMB!

....
As to your little blog...
I'm not surprised in the least.
From how long you stayed to the gift to....studying. >.>
*takes bet he'll play TF2 instead of study*

Oh, right, I did. It got better though, after a few minutes of... stuff.

Pfft, I can easily resist TF2 tomorrow. I'm not very easily distra-ooh, youtube.

What do you stu-oooh what's on youtube?

There's like, playthroughs of games with amusing commentaries and stuff. Also youtube poop.

>v> Hell you guys are easily distracted with such dull cra- Ooh, a crow!

You know.  You've gotten a lot more perverted since I last talked to you Mads....

It comes in boobs.

Bursts.

(http://i203.photobucket.com/albums/aa7/Spleener12/Reaction%20pics/unimited_facepalm_works_50p.jpg)

Saved.

Remind me to delete all photos of myself off the internet, asap.

I've already seen a photo of you.

I've kind of forgotten it though. Still, it is far too late.

...
I feel violated....

I don't want to be mean, but... you should.

*records conversation for evidence*

Should feel violated or hould delete my photos?

Feel violated. Don't delete the photos, definately not.

Why not delete them?

...
You seriously did?

Oh, you know, no reason. <_<

If the last part is to me:

Seriously? No.


Not seriously? ....Perhaps.

*stares at Mads*

...

*prepares to delete photos*

I wouldn't do that.

Give me a good reason.

...I don't know, like... I'm gonna poke.

A lot. And you're gonna laugh, and... yeah.

Poke what a lot?

You know... stuff.

Like, your side. Or arm. Perhaps even chest

You're going to poke my photos chest and I'll laugh?

No, dummy.

I'm going to (http://internet) poke you, until you repost the pictures in case you delete them.

I'm not a dummy!  I'm just...special....

Why do you need them?

Ah... still won't save you.

No reason really. They just need to stay on the interwebz.

Save me?

...Tell me.

From internet pokeage.

...Tell what?

*re-prepares to delete images*

Why YOU want them to stay on the internet!

You will be internet poked, or even worse, I swear.

...Because they're good?

Worse?  What's worse than being poked?

....why are they good?

Being internet tickled.

Easy. They..... just are.

*shrieks back in fear*

...
Do you masterbate to my pictures?

I know. So you'd better not delete.

Pfft, no. I just stare at them, for a long time.

*doesn't*

...Why?

Good, good.

...Because.

...
You sound like the Emperor.

JUST TELL ME WHY

Don't worry, I'm not an emperor or anything. I'm just gonna force you to upload if you delete, not rule the interwebz.

THEY'RE GOOD AND PRETTY

...
*deletes*

*still keeps them deleted*

.......Reupload.

Nao.

Nevar.

..... *Tickles*

Hey, now that they're deleted, I'd like to see them...

*Runs into glass door*

Aww, DB!

You hurt my glass!

Apologies.
*Places band-aid on glass, before opening the door properly and entering*

Better. It doesn't blame you.

Ah good.
*Sits down politely*
How are you today?

*is unaffected*

I am fine today. 'twas my last time ever studying math, so I am in a good mood.

... Damn you internet.

*laughs haughtily*

I see. I am a graduate this year, so I may not be taking math in my freshman year in college.
In fact, I plan to take it easy, if at all possible.
What happens for you after this year?

... *Tries again*

I'm on my second year of college (high school), so I have another year left.

*is unaffected yet again*

 :D

D:

I'm doing something wrong.

I see, I see.
This next year will be first real experience in a classroom environment... I'll have no idea what to do.

You've been homeschooled?

All my life. I'm honestly not worried.
And if I do look really awkward, maybe some cute girl will take pity on me >.>

It would be awesome if life worked that way. And all you have to do is basically be yourself, and don't feel it's wrong if you don't fit in.

I llke to think optimistically '_')b

*suddenly giggles*


lol

So do I. I know that EVENTUALLY I'll get a girlfriend. I'd prefer it to be sooner than later, but I'll manage to find someone who finds me interesting at some point. I mean, girls that have the same hobbies as me DO in fact exist here in Denmark. I even know one of them. Granted she's just a friend, but still. The mere existance of girls who have the same hobbies is enough to keep me going.

...Hm? *continues*

There are girls in Denmark, who are straight, that enjoy staring at breasts like you?

*serious face*

...XD

*drop*

I... no, I mean... you...

Touché.

...Hmmm... *keeps trying*

I admit, I did kind of lawl as well.

*fly*

... you don't understand me, do you...

What did you say?

... can't you stay 5 seconds without being so facepalmable?

*random post*

THIS TOPIC HAS ENOUGH

*random post*

*super serious face*

*Two finger "Bunny ears" over Bass's head*

*bites blazes' fingers off*

.....Damn.



Also, blog post coming in a few hours.

...Owie.

You deserved that...

June 17th - 2009

Got done with my math exam yesterday. Got the same grade as I got in chemistry, an A, or A-. Don't know how to convert to the letter system. Still, it kicks ass. I'm pleased with myself. The exam went well, I could answer all of their questions, and I explained everything well. Perhaps it helped that they examinated me in something I find hilariously easy. Very lucky.

FInally, I no longer have to study any longer! Well, until after summer vacation. But until then, I can relax! I just have to prepare a powerpoint presentation for my technology exam, but that's done in 2-3 hours tops. No more 12 hour study sessions, no more headaces and eye-pain, no more numb penises, I'M FREE

YES

Not much else to report. Short update, tired. Sleep soon. Blargargh. Unfunny.

---

I'll miss my math teacher though, nice person

That entire blog...everything....was TMI.

Pfft, I've given out much more information than that before.

such as?

Where should I begin... I've told so much about myself on this forum I don't know where to start >_>

Yeah but that wasn't TMI.
This was TMI.

Congrats by the way! ^.^

But my TMI is awesome. It's like TMI, but not. Like... TMIBN.

And thank you. I do feel pretty proud of myself.

TMIBN?

 :)

Well done with the exams.

Yeah, Too Much Information, But Not.

And thanks, both of you.

Besides, I've never seen you do anything which has caused that response from me or anyone else.

June 21st/June 22nd - 2009, mini update

Just came back from my technology exam. Got an A, like I did in both chemistry and math.

Last of my exams this year. Know what that means?

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE

Congrats.

Thank you.

June 23th - 2009

Slowly getting over my happy rush from finishing my exams. Still quite happy, but I'm getting back to my normal, boring, unfunny depressed and self-pitying... self. It's cool though, I've got cookies. Om nom nom.

So today is Midsummer Day (or, well, the evening before Midsummer Day). At least that's what I think you english people call it. In Denmark, it's called Sankt Hans. Literally, it translates into Saint Hans. For some weird reason they translated John the baptist into Hans. Don't ask me why. Passing through town, I saw a bonfire. 'twas pretty, looked at it for a while.

A while meaning 1-2 minutes before moving on.

Midsummer Day, like all danish holidays, are equal to people getting drunk off their ass. And puking. And waking up on the street. With no shoes. Sucks. Yet another reason I don't really celebrate it.

One of my friends, who happen to be of the female variety, texted me, asking if I celebrated Midsummer. To which I answered that, "no, I don't really". To which she replied, "Oh, alright XD. It's nice though :P" Then we talked randomly for a few messages. For some reason, I believe she was hinting at wanting me to come. I believe I blew a chance there.

Probably just reading into it too much.

In other news, I preordered Tales of Vesperia. It comes out here in Europe on the 26th. For all you Americans, yes, it's only coming out NOW. You've had it for, what, 10 years now? Okay I'm exaggerating, but still. Point still stands, Europe (and Australia) gets a lot of games later, and Q.Q. I've preordered it, as stated earlier in this epic opus of treachery and blogginess, so it should arrive some time next week.

Or if it's the same as Metroid Prime 3, it'll arrive approximately never.

Not that much more to say. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go watch "Destroyed in seconds". Crashes and explosions are funneh.

Discuss. ~ILS

---

I swear if I wasted my chance at getting closer to the one nerdy girl I have ever met offline, I will murder

Bad luck with the fumbled catch.

Have fun watching booms.

I can salvage it. Probably. Maybe.


Perhaps.



And I will. Well, as much fun as I CAN have, at least.

Congrat the tests!
Your blogs are awesome by the way Mads.  Cute and funny.
And I would most definiriely say,without even knowing the conversation, you blew your chance at hanging out with that girl you like.

It's only now coming out in Europe and I can't find it here.

In America?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ahSCKmJAQY



ARRaHHH




TRUUUUUTHHHHHHHHH IIIINNNNNNNNNN BOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLD.


You are obligated to call her up and invite her to go do something in order to make up for not recognizing her desire to **** you, ASAP.

*Bandit Keith Face*
In America.

Seriously, I don't think I've seen it at any store I've been to.

 ::)


It was an alright game, or what I could play was.  Go online and buy it.

I cannot stand idly by while a friend misses out on action. It is my duty...

Thank you. And I thought so. 'tis cool though, I'll manage somehow.

But it HAS been out for a while. Even if it's rare, it's still been out. It counts D:

No, it would be awkard D: I've been friends with her for over a year. It'd be strange if I all of a sudden asked her if we should go someplace. Alone. I need to be smooth, and slowly hint at me thinking she's sweet before moving in for the date. So it doesn't come out of nowhere.

Besides, I wouldn't know what to say anyway <_< I've been called a slight romantic and a gentleman, and those died out ages ago.

But she asked if you celebrated a holiday that mainly involves getting drunk after she's known you for over a year.

^That was her asking you out on a date and it didn't seem overbearing/awkward, so you asking her in an equally indirect manner's possible.

Just please do me a favor and plan to go see some movie she would like, message her saying that you felt like you left her hanging on Get Drunk Day and that you wanted to know if she wanted to go see said movie.

You're desperate for your bros, aren't you?

Sometimes, all we have in life are each other.

*leaps into convertible*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWjKDbSQ8aE

Maybe, maybe. Although I doubt she drank anything. I don't think I've ever seen her drink anything, at least excessively like almost every other girl I've met.

You're quite the fast one.


Are you kidding me?

*drives back*

Just...do it. Make you sure you tell her that you "kind of felt bad" about not coming over.

I'm serious. Without wanting to insult her, she's kind of like a female version of me.

It wasn't at her home. From what I can gather, it was an outside event thingie. For everyone in the area.

Careful, ILS, you know what happens when matter meets antimatter.  :P

*grins*

They... befriend each other?

Lulz.

Doesn't matter; send her a text that says what I said above.

I meant the whole "every other girl I know drinks excessively" thing.

And don't forget: I am so rooting for you to get some. That's why I may sound strict or harsh; I don't want to hurt your feelings.

Ah. Yeah, that's true too. It's normal though, almost all young danish people drink excessively.



Well, except me 'cause I'm an outcast. And two-three of my friends.

I know, I know. Though it'll be a while before I get some, believe you me.

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v196/th3n00b/family-guy-i-disagree-1.jpg)

Perhaps so, perhaps so.

June 25th - 2009

Got up early today, to go to my final school day of the semester. Was boring, we waited 40 minutes for the principal to give his speech, which consisted of "Watch out for bees, wasps and hornets. Also, don't die, and we'll see each other again next semester."

And that's not me being funny. That's what his speech was about. All of it.

Deciding that it was total bull****, one of my friends asked if anyone wanted to accompany him to a large mall, since he had to shop for a pair of pants. Since I had nothing to do, and though I could waste a few minutes, I said yes, and so did 3-4 other of my friends.

It ending up taking over 4 hours. Four hours of doing nothing but shopping for clothes. Nothing else.

I don't know about any of you people, but I don't really care about what clothes I buy... If I like it, I buy it. I don't wait and see if I find something better, I just buy what I like and call it a day. 20 minutes tops, and I'm done. And my friend is the same way. After around 30 minutes, he'd gotten his pants.

Only one problem. One of the people in our little adventuring group is a clothing shop-a-holic. And insisted on entering every single clothing shop we passed. And spend over half an hour in each of them.

I thought I had reached the worst point, shopping with girls, or perhaps even worse, shopping with my mother.

This was nothing like that. This was excrutiating. Not that it wasn't fun, I mean we are all friends, so we talked and had fun. Me and the aforementioned friend-with-the-pants walked around and laughed at all the clothes we found to be slightly metrosexual or "Why would any sane person wear this uncomfortable fashion crap?"-ish. I also spent a lot of time putting on hats of various kinds, making me look stupider than I normally do.

Which is quite an achievement actually.

But 4 hours is a long time when it's something you're not interested in, social relations be damned. I believe a small part of me was left behind in that mall, expelled from my body as it was dying and rotting while it was still alive. I believe it was my sanity, or mayhap my childish innocence.

I'm pissed, as I have to get up very early tomorrow, to decorate one of the graduating classes' wagon they'll be riding around in. (Danish tradition, not sure if it's the same elsewhere). This wouldn't be bad, if it wasn't because it's my summer vacation. One does not get up ****ing early on a summer vacation. On summer vacation, people get up at 11 am, perhaps 2 pm. Not ****ing 6:30 am. Oh well, if I'm lucky, ToV will arrive tomorrow. I doubt it, but you never what the amazon gods decide to shower me with, **** or chocolate rain (LAWLZ). Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go to sleep now. ****ing danish traditions.

Discuss. ~ILS

---

I will never shop for clothes again. With my friends, other than that friend-with-the-pants

Bad luck. *shrugs* Have a nice night.

No offense, but if Mads got some, Hawk's sig would happen.

And hey!  Clothes shopping can be fun!  You find things you like, compare quality and price with what you need and see how much you can afford out of all that you want!

lol @ Mads trying on hats.

Have a fun time, we do a wagon-decorated type thing for homecoming week.

...Really? I go in there, find a T-shirt or a pair of jeans I like, check if the price is reasonable, and if it is I buy it and I'm done.

THen again, I'm a guy so that might explain it.

I was jking about you not getting some......


I know plently of guys who are wise with their options. : /

(http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii286/Spring524Loaded/777_ils_views.jpg)

What do you make of me getting the 777th view of your topic?


(http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii286/Spring524Loaded/42-15414351.jpg)

Well, I'm not one of them. I don't really care tbh, it's just clothing. <_<

It'd have been cooler if you got the 666th.

Just clothing?

Yeah. It's stuff I put on to keep me warm and not naked. Doesn't really matter what I wear as long as I feel comfortable in it, and I like it.

You're too simplistic sometimes Mads.  ::)

Never really been interested in fashion, I must admit.

Well, you are Mads.

It'd be weird if I wasn't.

Never really understood brands either... Gucci looks exactly the same as everything else, except it has the logo on it. Don't see the difference and why it's so special...

The material is one huge difference, also the design.

Really? Meh, might just be me... I can't see any difference for the most part.

You don't pay enough attention.

Not really...

Again, 'cause it's just clothes <-<

>.>
Should I make a blog?

Up to you. If you want to make one, you definately should.

Maybe I will.

Good, good.

July 5th - 2009

.............................................. Jesus, where have you guys been?

Alright, alright, I might have neglected updating for a while, but I have a good reason. Tales of Vesperia. That's a good enough reason.

I love that game. I have always been an RPG gamer, both western and japanese. I've been a fan of the Tales games for a while also, being introduced to the series with the help of Tales of Symphonia, and I've been hooked since. I've played most of the Tales games, even most of the older ones (though not Eternia or Destiny 2).

So obviously I'm biased towards the series. They could throw a giant piece of **** in my face and I'd still think it was entertaining at worst. But god damn it I love this game. Really, I do. So far, it is without a doubt my favorite game I've played of 2009. By five hojillion miles.

The abridged version: I like the story, I love the characters, gameplay is as good as always, music is cool, graphics are cel-shaded win and it's overall a joy to play for me.

I'm not done with the game yet, though I'm close to the end I think. I'm around 40 hours in, so I'm guessing I'm getting to the end soon. Then of course I'll start a new game + and go through all the costume sidequests and various other sidequests and bonus bosses.

IT'S **** HOT HERE GUYS I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING

It's probably standard for all you people, but for a dane, 30+ degrees celsius (around 86 degrees fahrenheit and 303 degrees Kelvin for you weird people) is **** too hot. I'm sweating my ass off every single day. It doesn't help that my room is excellent at keeping in the hotness. Well, during the summer at least. During winter it's **** cold.

My room kind of sucks when it comes to temperatures.

Anyway, I'm sweating. I hate sweating. It's why my favorite seasons are spring > fall > winter > summer. In spring and fall, it's usually warm but not uncomfortably so. During winter it's **** cold, but at least I'm not sweating. Summer has nice weather and all, but it's just unbearable and discomfort for me.

Oh well, women have less clothes on. I suppose that makes summer bearable. (I am a terrible man)

I'm leaving on vacation tomorrow with my mom and dad. Going to Deutschland, AKA Germany. We're gonna do what we've done for the past few years in other countries, which is drive around, getting lost and somehow managing to get to the hotel on time.

Thank god that hobo had a sense of direction.

At any rate, it should be fun. Thankfully it's NOT **** HOT down there, so that's a giant plus. Being Germany, we'll have to get drunk at least once down there. So I think the only thing we've actually got planned is a trip to a beerhouse at some point. I've never been to one, but I'd assume that it is a house presumably made of, or containing beer. Not sure which one. Could be both.

So I'll be gone for a week. I'll do my best to remember stuff so I can actually blog when I get back. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go play Tales of Vesperia some more.

Discuss. ~ILS

---

I swear it's **** hot. My ass is sweating

Pfft. It's not hot unless it's over 90 degrees.

I can't remember if I noticed this topic before or not, and I'm too lazy to check if I made a post in one of the earlier pages...

For a country that's used to warm temperatures at 68 degrees, 86 is unbearably hot.

I can't remember either.

Ugh. Yeah, weather's been too hot here in England, too...

In Florida, 68 degrees is considered cold.

I'm usually fine with hotter temperatures like 80+ (though I don't like to sweat too), but it's pretty mild in NY right now. Somewhere in the 70's is perfect if you ask me.

**** global warming.

Here it's considered pleasant and warm.

*Converts*

Yeah, the 70's are okay. Anything over that means pain. Me and my parents have been suffering for the last few days. So much so that we didn't even want to cook anything, it was too hot to do so.

July 30th - 2009

I know what you're all thinking. OMG WTF IT'S STILL JULY 29TH NOOB. To which I'll respond "But good sir/madame, here in Denmark it is currently 00:25 am as of this writing.

The second thing you might be thinking, is that I haven't updated for a long time. There is no particular reason or excuse for this. I haven't been particularly busy playing any specific game. I haven't been busy with a job, as I have no need for one. Denmark is a delightful welfare society, so I get paid for going to school. Granted, it would never be enough to support me were I living on my own, or if I was a party animal, getting drunk every day, but since I'm living with my mom and dad, I'm essentially getting paid for going to school. Which is awesome.

I haven't been busy with any movies... I haven't been drawing much, nor have I been writing much. I haven't had hot, fulfilling sex with my girlfriend. I haven't had hot, fulfilling sex with a girlfriend. I haven't had hot, fulfilling sex with any friend.

Frankly, I haven't been updating much because I am a lazy, lazy person. People who know me well should know that. I am a pervert, I'm for the most part humble, I have a tendency to lack self esteem and I am extremely lazy.

I've been trying to write one of these updates for the past 3-4 days. But everytime, I've looked at the topic and thought "Oh god so many words kill me". But here I am, writing another update. Although it's not as much of an update, as it is me rambling on about being sorry for around 5 paragraphs.

Also, to anyone that cares, the SPEURMAN!! profile is coming. Perhaps not with pictures, but it's coming.

Anyway, my life. Life is pretty good. I'm really enjoying my summer holiday, relaxing and playin' some gamez. My sleep pattern however, has taken it up the ass. Hard. Like, dog style taken it in the ass. I go to bed at 5 am in the morning. 5 a ****ing m. God damn youtube and Tvtropes, keeping me up for so long. Problem is, I won't let myself get up later than 11-12 the next day. I just won't. So I only get 4-5 hours of sleep (it takes me a looooooong time to fall asleep) a night. NOT HEALTHY. I think I'm okay though. The pink fairies and Loli Vampire Maid Teachers that have moved in are taking pretty good care of me.

Essentially nothing new. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think one of the Loli Vampire Maid Teachers hurt her arm and is crying for my help.

Discuss. ~SPEURMAN!! ILS

---

Loli Vampire Maid Teachers are ****ing awesome

Where might I hire some of these "Loli Vampire Maid Teachers"?

The loli are bad for you... They want to drain your body of blood.

I got mine from the Loli Vampire Maid Teacher's holy ground. There are a bunch of them there. You just have to bring them a feather duster, a ruler and allow them to bite your finger once and they'll follow you. The bite doesn't hurt much, 'tis a good deal I think.

But they're just loli, they don't drink that much. A tiny bite every now and then will keep them happy. Besides, they're extremely good at keeping houses clean, and teaching animals and kids tricks.

I must find this holy ground.

xD


...ILS has a girlfriend??? Do tell.

It's worth it, trust me.

I don't. If I did, I would've had hot, fulfilling sex with her.

Maybe.

Slight chance of it happening.

(http://www.thephantomcity.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/interestedcat.jpg)

IE... 10x10⁵⁰ : 1?

You'd be surprised at how many people find my hot, fulfilling sex with imaginary girlfriends interesting.

42.

lawlimaginarygirlfriends

Man, I keep forgetting about this topic. Probably because I rarely come here.

Oh, old.

September 14th - 2009

I haven't updated in a while, as there has been nothing interesting to justify an update.

Nothing interesting has happened this time either, but I just feel like updating, so there. Italics for great justice.


As stated, not much is going on at the moment. Thankfully, school is 100% easier than last year. By FAR. Like, 1000 kilometers far. I've gotten psychology as a new subject, in which I have been tasked with going outside (I'm scared as ****, there are bears out there) and smiling at people to see if they return the smile. I have to smile at random people.

Hopefully I'll avoid the creepy stalker guy who might take a liking to me.

Hopefully I'll encounter the creepy stalker girl who might take a liking to me.

My weekend has pretty much gone by with playing the Aion Online open beta, and Disgaea 3. Yes, Disgaea 3. Recently, after saving up my money (or moolah if you prefer), I have gone and bought a PS3. I found one which price was heavily reduced, so I consider myself a winrar on that front. And all I can say about Disgaea 3 is this: I love the game, and I hate myself.

"That's not unusual" you may be saying. To which I'll say "No". To which you might respond "indeed.", the i not capitalized because you're dumb. I apologize, I'm the dumb one here, please don't leave my topic alone D:

I am around 75 to 80 hours into the game, and I'm at chapter 5. Out of I think 12 or 14. WTF, says the gamer who has never played a Disgaea game, unknowing of it's unrelenting grinding nature. WTF says the gamer who HAS played a Disgaea game, and is aware of it's grinding nature. You see, to understand why I've spent so much time, and gotten nowhere, you have to understand something about Disgaea.

In the game, there are classes. Each class has 6 levels, with each level getting an increase in stat growth and stats. To get, for example, a level 3 Lady fighter (called a Valkyrie), you need to level up a level 2 lady fighter (called a Lady warrior) to a specific level in order to unlock the next level. When I unlock the next level, I reincarnate the character into that higher leveled class. This makes the character stronger, as it also inherits around 75% of it's previous stats, making the character much stronger.

It has the side effect of starting the character back at level 1.

And I do this. With every. Single. Class. Plus two monster classes. What can I say, I cannot resist a succubus even if I wanted to.

I think all in all, if you add up all the levels I've gained over the course of the 80 hours, my characters would be level 150 each. My characters are JUST about to reach level 40, at which point I think I need to reincarnate 3-4 of the characters to upgrade them to the next level class.

ALso, take note that upgrading them to the next level of their class is not necessary. At all. I just do it because I want to. Because I am an idiot.

And this also brings me to the great mystery with Disgaea games. I have been grinding the entire weekend, doing nothing else. I haven't continued the story at all. I've heard none of Mao's hilarious antics, or Almaz' cowardice. I have done nothing, but grinding my ass off.

And I haven't once felt bored.

What is wrong with me? Grinding is NOT FUN. But grinding in Disgaea is fun. DOES NOT COMPUTE. COMPUTER ROOM NOT FOUND, FIND THE COMPUTER ROOM.

Whoa, Sonic reference.

Anyway, not much else to say. The loli vampire maid teachers are having a birthday, which I need to attend. So now, if you'll excuse me, I have loli vampire maid teacher cake that needs eatin'.

EDIT: Fate wants me to post, as the topic gets revived the second I start writing this post. Awesome.

---

but hey at least i deal over 1000 damage to enemies with 500 health at most

Loli vampire maid teachers.

They're awesome incarnate.

Also, sorry for the very short paragraphs and various other errors. This was written pretty much non-stop with no pause to think, as I'm quite tired.

I want my loli vampire maid teachers.

You just have to find the Loli Vampire Maid Teacher's holy ground, and bring them a feather duster, a ruler and allow them to bite your finger once.

Just my finger? They can bite all they want.

Oh don't worry, they can do that after they choose to serve you.

Fine. Now, where is the place?

The holy ground exists in another dimension, you have to conjur a portal to get to it.

Guide plz.

1. Think of Loli Maid Vampire Teachers

2. Concentrate on Loli Maid Vampire teachers

3. Make the peace sign with your fingers

4. Enter portal

5. Bring feather duster, ruler and let them bite your finger

6. Bring Loli Maid Vampire Teachers home

7. Feed them and they'll take care of you home

8. ??

9. PROFIT

Excellent.

Good stuff about Disgaea 3, but you've been grinding too much for your own good as I'm nearly half way through chapter 4 and I'm only about to reach 15 hours total. Plus I spent around 3 hours grinding because 4-2 is cheap. I haven't played in a little while cause I'm still waiting for that stupid trophy patch.

That guide should net you at least one Loli Maid Vampire Teacher.


And I know I'm grinding much more than is necessary, but I can't help it D:

This is also coming from someone who stopped playing Disgaea 1 for several months because he got bored of constant grinding around chapter 11.

So what's your PSN?

It's not working.

I don't get bored grinding with Disgaea games, though I seriously have no idea why. And I can't remember off the top of my head (it's probably something obvious, but I'm a bit tired right now) I'll tell you tomorrow.

Then you're doing it wrong

Fine.

September 19th - 2009

Firstly, I want to apologize for the last blog update. It was made when I was tired, and I hadn't planned what I wanted to write. I didn't proof read it, and I'm sure it was filled with tons and tons of spelling errors, grammatical errors, and I AM ERRORs. The jokes, if said abominations can be called jokes, were probably not that good, and the structure was horrible.

I mean who wants

to read a blog

like this.

With paragraphs

this

short.

Horrible.

The only saving grace were the Loli Maid Vampire Teachers, but then again, what DOESN'T Loli Maid Vampire Teachers improve? Anyway, with that out of the way, if you'll excuse the apostrophe, lets get bloggin'. An' stuf'.

As some of you may know, my copy of Metroid Prime Trilogy, purchased fair and square at a local game store, refuses to obey my commands and it simply won't run. Searching around the vast interwebz revealed that many others have this problem, due to their wii being dirty. I know what you're expecting me to say, but I won't. I am above such a **** joke.

J/K lol his **** is dirty olo

Anyway, this forced me to order an Official Wii Cleaning Kit, as opposed to the dozens of Unofficial Wii Cleaning Kit's that are flooding the market as we speak. Or type. Or exchange emotions and messages through non-verbal language.

Why the italics? I don't know.

This Official Wii Cleaning Kit (Henceforth known as the Owii Clit) arrived in the mail today. Ecstatic as I was, I ripped the cover off the Owii Clit and swiftly proceeded to study it, feeling it and reading the manual. I inserted it in my wii, and gently nudged and rubbed it up and down, as is the correct procedure of using the Owii Clit according to the manual.

One would imagine it to be procedure of using any cli-

ANYWAY. After doing this for a few times, I realized that the Owii Clit is actually a piece of Owii ****. Sure, it came out having cleaned my wii of dust, but Metroid Prime Trilogy still wouldn't function. Going back to the store, I managed to exchange the CD for another, in order to check if it was the CD that was the problem. How I exchanged CD's is a far too interesting tale for this blog, but I can let slip that it invovled chinese water torture, and a piece of bubble gum.

As it turns out, this CD did not work either. Which means that it is actually my wii that is broken. Once again, I am above a **** joke.

So I now have to send it in for repair or something, which costs me even more money, as the warranty is off by now. So to recap: I've spent around 108 dollars (yes, our games are expensive as ****) on a game, which does not function. I've spent 10 dollars on an Owii Clit, which functions properly, but is in this case of no help. And finally, I need to spend a lot of money on wii repairs.

Needless to say, I'm less than amused.

But anyways, not much else to say. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll have to let my rage out by taking the Loli Maid Vampire Teachers out for a night on the town. To kill hookers and pushers.

~ ILS

---

why the **** can't I have fun with metroid games oh god why

Nice way to relieve stress. I want to try it out.

Sorry to hear that, that sucks.

Yeah, killing hookers and pushers are a great way to relieve stress. Killing businessmen and lawyers are even better, but it's easier to get sent to jail for doing that.

It does indeed, it does indeed.

Now, where are my Loli Maid Vampire Teachers?

>v> ILS, simple solution, go for managers in an office. No-one'll notice.

Mads has a girlfriend?

ILS, you blog makes me think that you're pretty much the male, Danish version of Konata.

Hey, ILS. I have the Loli Vampire part down, I just need to find the Maid Teacher part.

An imaginary one, yes.

Well, I am an anime geek and a video game nerd. Plus I'm male and danish, can't deny that.

That's pretty cool, I found the Loli Vampire part to be the toughest.

Don't know... Would be cool if I had a stalker though.

I can be your stalker!

*stalks ILS*

*is jealous of your blog*

dun't be hatin', bro.

Yay, stalker!

How come?

October 19th - 2009

First, let me get one thing straight: Nothing interesting happened to me today. I will be totally winging it now. ONE TWO THREE GO!


So this blog was supposed to be a thing that was updated daily, or bi-daily. As any astute person can ascertain, this did not work out. I am simply too lazy, and way too absorbed in playing teh gamez and watching teh videoz. Letz just add a z to every wordz I can, to make myselfz coolz.

Yesterday, I came up with a subject for my study project. At my college (high school), on your third and final year, you have to write an assignment, about 10-15 pages, about a subject of your choosing. It could be anything. The subject I've chosen is the Vietnam war, with focus on the media coverage, and how it influenced the american society's opinion of the war, and how badly the Vietnam war veterans were treated when they got back, by both the government and the military.

Yes, I am actually interested in that stuff, leave me alone.

Now it's all about waiting. After choosing a subject, we'll be assigned a teacher that we can consult and ask for advice, which is what I'm waiting for now.

That was wholly unentertaining, so lets get to some fun stuff. (or, as fun as stuff can BE when I'm doing it.)

Who the hell am I kidding, there IS no fun stuff. I have nothing to write about, yet here I am, writing. I've written two paragraphs, FIVE entire lines of stuff related to my SCHOOL. To my SCHOOL. It could not be more boring if I tried.

I suppose I could write about my experiences at the comparty I was at this week. To all kids reading this, **** off, you're not allowed in here. To all teenagers or adults reading this, FOOD IS IMPORTANT.

Random, but I'll get to the point soon.

Now, at comparty, the automatic doors stop being automatic at around 4-5pm. They stop being automatic so much, that they lock themeselves, meaning you have to get someone from the inside to open them. Now, being the loveable idiot that I am, I forgot to go buy myself dinner before 4-5pm. This would not be a problem, had any of my friends been present. But they weren't. I was unable to go outside to buy myself food. Having only eaten a couple of hotdogs at around 11 am, I was **** hungry.

Yes, kind of disgusting to eat hotdogs that early, but damn it, it's an easy food to eat while gaming.

Turns out, my friends didn't come back until 11 pm. By that time, I didn't want to go outside to buy something to eat. It was dark, it was cold, it was out of the question. And here is where the point comes in. Say hello to him, his name is Billy.

That was the sound of a bad joke crashing through to the center of the earth.

As I sat there in front of my PC, playing TF2, I experienced a decrease in skill and concentration. My uber-leet Scout reaction time disappeared, my medic ubering became worse, my sniper aiming disappeared, and my heavy got **** backstabbed.

Spy prick.

As I turned my attention to my stomach, I suddenly felt something. A hunger. A very strong hunger. Now, I know that humans can go for weeks without food. But if you're used to eating like a freaking pig, you're gonna get hungry extremely fast. It felt like a giant maw had opened inside my stomach, threatening to devour my entire being if I did not give it a sacrifice.

Ignoring the satanic growls erupting from my stomach, I watched anime, trying to forget it. Then other people brought food in. Which I could smell.

It was pretty **** horrifying. My stomach was like "GIVE ME FLESH" and I was like "No, it's dark." and it was like "NOW" and I was like "No" and it was like "**** YOU" and I was like "Your mom!" and it was like "I DID YOUR MOM" and I was like "DON'T TALK ABOUT MY MOM ****" and then the person who was sitting next to me left for some reason.

Can't imagine why.

How I survived my hunger, I have no idea. But I got home safe, and satisfied the satanic maw in my stomach. I was suffering from sleep deprivation, but that's normal at comparty. It's really hard to sleep with ALL YOUR BASE and "I can break these cuffs! You can't break those cuffs! NNUUUUOOOAAAAAARGH" running in the background on the big screen.

We've reached the point where I'm mentioning interwebz memes, so I think it's time to stop now. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go make myself some food. The maw hungers.

~ILS

---

the maw is all devouring the maw will eat your soul

Lulz.

True story, too.

.... *head melts*

Out of fail or awesome?

I think awesome.

October 24th - 2009

I have hit the snag that I always hit with MMORPG's, no matter which game it is.

Straight to the point and no bull**** this time, awesomesauce isn't it?

Group play. I have always disliked group play. No actually, that's a lie, I don't dislike group play. Group play is actually quite fun. No, what I detest is the step just before group play, what I've dubbed the "Infamous looking-for-group twilight zone". I. Hate. Looking. For. A. Group. Period. I don't hate OTHER people looking for groups, that's not it, but I myself HATE looking for groups. Because I feel like some sort of ****, much like Spoony does, as he pointed out in his Vlog where he talks of DnD online.

Not that anyone except me has seen that, but lets move on.

I feel like a ****. I feel like I'm standing on a street corner like some other ****. Like, if the **** wore leather armor and two big swords. And knew mad skillz. And could kill bears with knives.

That sounds like a pretty cool **** actually. I'd pay to see that.... and tap that. Har har har.

Lets start from the beginning. I'm playing the online RPG which happens to be multiplayer on a massive scale, Aion. 'tis a good game me thinks, and I like it. I've made a female (did you expect anything else?) assassin named Cara. To all of you who don't know what kind of class the assassin is, it's a rogue. For those who don't know what a rogue is (shame on you) it's a thief. Relies on speed, evasion and crits, dual wields daggers/swords, and can often poison their weapons. Can often go invisible too, and backstabs for increased damage.

Anyway, so I'm leveling pretty good, and Cara is currently lvl 19. Recieving the campaign (A harder, more rewarding than regular) quest "Reconstructing Impetusium", she set out to get the job done. Easy at first, gather some materials and kill some monsters. Cara easily does that ****, she does that **** regularly anyway. Next and final part of the quest: Gather three objects from a dead monster, and summon it's spirit. Kill the spirit so that all the spirits that were killed by said monster can rest in peace. Seems easy for Cara.

So she goes out and gathers two of the three objects. Very simple, one is carried by a monster easily backstabbed and slain, the other in an easily locatable box. THe last one, the foul creatures bones, are carried by another monster, in a place called Blackclaw Village, filled with monsters. Still, should be no problem for Cara. So she goes in there, finds the specific type of mob, and gets to killin'.

The problem being that the monster takes almost no damage, and deals a ****-ton of it.

The mob is a ****ing elite. A ****ing elite. Cara CAN NOT do this by herself, I can not do this by myself. The mob RAPES me. Ferociously. And no one gets to sex Cara except me and also Nestor without retribution. That elite mob is going ****ing down. She will take her brutish dagger and her Steel sword, the two weapons she has equipped at the moment, and shove them right up the hole between that ****ing creatures butt cheeks.

By which I mean it's anus. Cara will cut it's anus right open, and not only take the big monster's bones, but also that ****ing elite mob's bones.


Unfortunately... that won't be possible without a cleric or chanter, who can heal her. And she needs a templar or gladiator to tank. And a sorcerer or spiritmaster to help deal damage.

So now I'm in the horrible position that I always end up in. I have to **** myself out and look for a group. Sadly, the proud and sexy Cara will be standing on the corner of the road, yelling things like "Anyone looking for a lvl 19 Assassin for BC Village?" or "LFG BC village lvl 19 Assassin".

Which in my ears will sound like "Lvl 19 Assassin sucky sucky licky cheap"


Oh well, I suppose cutting open an elite anus and having fun when I actually FIND a group will be worth it.... but I ****ing hate looking for a group. Makes me feel so cheap. Anyway.... If you'll excuse me, I have to go look for a group. Perhaps I can get some of my Loli Vampire Maid Teacher's to group with me.

~ILS

---

cara is pretty awesome though you should totally see her

>v> I dislike that so much I've never played an MMO. I only play similar games with a preorganised group of friends.

I luff MMO's, it's one of my favorite genres. For me, it's only the act of actually FINDING the group that I detest. When I'm in a group, I'm cool with it, and it's pretty fun.

*nods* I don't like the monthly fee...

It is a little annoying, but I've played quite a few free MMO's that I enjoyed.

The ones you pay for (the ones I've payed for anyway) are much better in the end though. Obviously.

*nods* I might re-try Shadowbane at some point...

My main issue with MMORPGs is not only the monthly fee, but also the fact that the only decent PC in the house is a family one which I don't want to fill up with my own stuff.


On another note, you called your MMORPG character "Cara"?

That's understandable. That (the PC requirements) is why I've never really been a PC gamer. You need a good PC to play most PC games, and I only recently in march aquired myself a truly decent PC allowing me to play PC games.

I did indeed. It's what I usually call my female MMORPG characters if possible (and if possible, try to make them resemble Cara as much as possible. At the very least the green hair). Most of the time the name is taken and I have to come up with some variation (Caravia being the one I use most often). I preordered Aion though, which made me able to preselect a character name.

>v>

October 25th - 2009 - The Looking For Group reckoning part 2: The suckage, but we've got pictures now!

This is so totally going to be a series.

Yeah, but it'll be a short blog, since nothing interesting happened. I haven't gone looking for a group yet, but I have been preparing for said group looking. I have gained another level, and with it grabbed a new skill, and an awesome level number (20).

Woot woot.

I spent most of the day (well, my time PLAYING, which was like 3-4 hours) farming materials to create yet another brutish dagger. Cara is now a double-dagger Assassin, able to dish out them crits. Technically she deals LESS damage, but she attacks faster, and them crits are cool. ANd daggers are less cool than swords, but...

****, dual daggers is the best weapon spec for assassin. I do not like it, but it is for the best. Cara needs to be ass-kicking sexiness incarnate.

So.... something awesome. Blogs. Yaay. Hmm.... oh, I got a story. So, I was crafting my brutish dagger, and I succeeded, when suddenly an exclamation point appeared over Cara's head. Now, in Aion, you can craft two different versions of every craftable thing: A regular and a noble version. A noble version is the better version of an item, because... I guess nobles just have better attack, defense and accuracy.

Nobles don't look that tough to me, compared to big, giant muscular soldiers. They should have called it a reglar version and a soldier version. Or a regular version and a HOLY **** LOOK AT THIS version. But I digress.

Suddenly, Cara gets the brilliant idea to create, instead of a simple brutish dagger, a NOBLE brutish dagger. Cara deserves nothing less than noble stuff of course, so it was only natural she got the idea. So now, my main hand brutish dagger is so awesome cool. Well, it doesn't LOOK cooler than my off hand non-noble brutish dagger, but it does more damage. Which is win.

There is nothing to report. I may or may not grow the balls to **** myself out for cheap money and phat loots look for a group tomorrow, but hopefully I will. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to gWAIT wait wait, I forgot something.

I know how to use the printscreen button lulz woot

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Aion0002.jpg)
(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Aion0003.jpg)
(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Aion0007.jpg)
(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/rsz_1aion00005.jpg)

...>v< Nothing like her, is it?

Clothing wise no. The eyes and the hair kind of, when her hair is put up in a ponytail. She obviously lacks the fox ears and 6 fox tails, but although Aion's customization tool is vast and detailed, fox ears and tails are sadly not part of it's repetoire of accesories.

Would be sweet if it was though.

BLue skin.

Well, that too.

It was unavoidable, she is of the asmodian race. They lack the sun, and therefore D-vitamins. Also why she has claws.



Alright so she doesn't look like Cara but within the boundaries of what I had to work with, I did a good job. I imagine her to be LIKE Cara at least.

*nods*

It's like with presents, it's the spirit and thought that counts.

^v^ Did Yuki like her "gift"?

Hm? Sure, she did.

*chuckles* Good.

Never noticed you updated until now. When I'm reading through these, I tend to eventually lose myself and just think to myself, "What the **** am I reading?"...in a good way though.

XD I'm kind of expecting that. Most of these are written in a, quote unquote, understandable stream of consciousness style... I just write whatever occurs to me, and I rarely proof read. And most of them are written late at night, where I'm tired and can't think straight, so that might have an effect as well.

December 3rd - 2009

Most of this will be whining, because I can. Sorry, but I need to get it off my chest. Laughing will be both allowed and encouraged. Lots of swear wordz and stuffs, because I'm angry. And nothing conveys angry like swear words, miright?


I ****ing hate myself right now. Not hate myself as in "OH SNAP I NEED TO KILL MYSELFZ D:" or "IM A HORRIBLE PERSON!!", but more of a "You stupid sack of ****, why the **** did you do that!?". Why? Well, as some/most of you should know, I am an "artist" of sorts, indicating that I can draw. Well, for the last couple of days, I've been sitting down every night, trying to draw a picture of an OC of mine, Sheena.

And I just can't ****ing do it. I just can't ****ing do it, and it pisses me right the **** off. Why the hell can't I do it? Well, I can't come up with any ideas. At all. None what-so-****ing-ever. That in itself is bad enough, but whenever I try to draw anything random, lo and behold, it turns out to look like utter ****. And it depresses me to no end. Sheena is a personal favorite of mine, so I want to draw her. I also know for a fact that some people I RP with would like to see her drawn as well, to see what she really looks like.

But I just can't ****ing do it. Now disappointing myself would be bad enough, but I feel like I'm also disappointing my friends, and that makes me feel like an asstard. And I know exactly why i can't get this done. It's not just the artist block, oh no. It's because I've looked at quality anime art. It's not my drawing that suddenly got worse, my drawings have probably always looked that ****, I just never noticed it until now.

Now, I'm not saying I suck at drawing. I know that I'm better than a lot of people, and I even know of a few people who are jealous at my skills (Which, really, you shouldn't be I think...). But I've just realized that I'm a loooooooong way from being a good artist. I still like my work, but... I don't know. I feel less than fabulous I'd say.

Basically just that. A pretty negative blog post, what with nothing but QQ and waaaaaahmbulances driving around. As I said, just needed to get it off my chest. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to watch some **** **** to drown my sorrows. Because I haven't been able to afford a real girlfriend yet.

~ILS, pretty-decent-yet-horrible-artist-with-an-artist-block

EDIT: Asked me to spam check before posting. ****ING FORUM I AM NOT ****ING SPAMMING I JUST ****ING SWEAR A LOT. **** **** ASS ****. I AM MATURE NOW.

---

In case you didn't get it this ****ing sucks

Sorry to hear that...

Yeah, it sort of sucks. I'll get over it though. I got over it many years ago when I was learning how to draw, so I can get over it now that I'm at least capable of producing something worth posting on the interwebz.

*nods*

I can't even draw to save my life. I'm not even great at writing but I honestly don't give a **** as most people already know. I also just remembered its been a little while since I checked out your deviantart page.

There probably isn't anything new <_< I haven't updated in ages, because I can't get around to drawing anything >_>

Well, sometimes you just need to approach a situation from new angles. You'll think of something.

I've forgotten my Deviant art password since it's been so long since I visited that website. >_>

January 15th - 2010


Once again, there's nothing really interesting to blog about, so I'll post a rant instead. Oh goody goody gumdrops in a gastronomic gas gallery. Since this rant will deal with taste and opinions, nothing will be facts. My opinion isn't the right opinion, it's just my own opinion.


I just want to ask a question here... am I the only one who's sick of hating on the Sonic franchise? Now, don't get me wrong... I'm not defending the games here (Well, not most of them anyway). Shadow the Hedgehog was mediocre at it's best, and boring at it's worst, while Sonic 06 took away what Sonic is all about, namely speed, and replaced it with glitches.

But those two games are the only games I would classify as being bad games. Let's take a look at the history of main Sonic games here, people.

Sonic 1 - Started everything. Good game, but compared to the later ones it's slightly bland now. Still good fun to play.
Sonic 2 - An improvement over the first game overall, still fun to play.
Sonic CD - A game that, to be honest, I've not really played much of. It's supposedly a really good 2D Sonic game.
Sonic 3 - Again, even move improvements. Still fun to play.
Sonic 3 and Knuckles - Arguably the best game of the franchise. Also the only game to ever feature Hyper Sonic and the super emeralds.
Sonic Adventure - Sonic's first leap into 3D. Pretty good, and still quite a bit of fun today.
Sonic Adventure 2 - Sonic's second 3D entry. Better story, but too little Sonic/Shadow gameplay. Although, still an enjoyable experience. Also featured Shadow before he became an emo in his own game (Oh, we'll get back to Shadow later in the rant)
Sonic Heroes - A mediocre game, but severely underrated. Not nearly as horrible as people proclaim, and I can still play it today and have a good time, despite the absolutely horribly cheesy lines, and story. LETS SHOW THAT CREEP THE REAL SUPER POWER OF TEAMWORK! Subtle Sega. Subtle.
Shadow the Hedgehog - Took the speed out of shadow, and replaced it with guns. The game where Shadow was an emo bastard. Not much else to say really... kind of boring gameplay to be honest.
Sonic 06 - .....Ooooooh boy....
Sonic Unleashed - Gave Sonic back his speed, and introduced 2.5D sections. Great Sonic levels overall. Introduced the werehog, a brawler type character. Again, arguably too few Sonic levels. Again, I think it's underrated. The werehog is less fun than Sonic, but not as ungodly horrible as some people claim.

Lest we forget the Sonic Rush games, which have both been very good (the first more than the second though), and the Sonic Riders series (Which was.... less than good, but fun for a short while.) Also Sonic battle (A decent game).

Looking over the above list... sure, the series has gone downhill ever since entering 3D, and many of the later games are mediocre. The spinoffs (except for the story book games, which are medicore or above) are crap, but generally the series has done decently. Not good, but not "oh **** piece of **** crap" horribly. Just... decently.

And yet people are always calling the Sonic series dead... Always saying that the games are horrible, even before they come out... always whining, always complaining, always bitching... and I, for one, am sick of it. Yes, the franchise has gone dowhill. We know that, everyone knows that. You don't have to whine about it. I think this is basically Final Fantasy VII syndrome all over again. People who have never even played the game says that it sucks, because... well, the internet says it sucks. It's fun to say it sucks. Same with the Sonic series. The internet just proclaims it dead, so therefore I'm not allowed to think on my own. I just have to nod and agree that it's dead. Then after I've done that, I can go out in the shower, drop the soap and get man raped by a giant **** Zangief motherfucker. Raped hard.

In the ass.

Seriously... You're ruining it, people. Your "love" for the franchise which causes you to **** and moan, is ruining it more than anything Sega does. Case in point: Sonic Unleashed. This game did it right. For the first time in many years, comes a game that does it right. There's a lot of story in the beginning of the game, then during the middle of the game, you're just running around through "zones" to do stuff, and then at the end you get a lot more story. That's how it should be done in a Sonic game. Furthermore, the cutscenes are more cartoony and fun, which suits the series. The less said about Sonic 06's "epic" story, the better. The sonic levels are ultra fast, and exhilerating. They're really fun to play, and they've got a slight nostalgic feel with the 2.5D sections. This is how Sonic is supposed to play in 3D.

But wait... Sega included a werehog. Which is slower, and a brawler. It's fun, but is ultimately a gimmick. And people **** hate this game because of it. Because of one, ****, thing. All the other things that was good about unleashed? **** that, the werehog sucks so the entire game sucks.

But how is that ruining it, you say? Well, by saying the game sucks balls, you're basically telling Sega that everything they did (mostly good, and a bit of bad) is wrong. Which means that they WON'T DO IT AGAIN. Are you retards? Have you no brains? Is there a vacuum inside your heads? I agree, the werehog was a gimmick (though Im' one of the few people who enjoyed playing as the werehog), but EVERYTHING ELSE WAS A STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. But your whining could mean that they'll take 6 steps backwards. Thanks a lot guys. You're truly the greatest fans ever.

One thing that I do agree on, is the fact that the series has too many unnecessary characters. The most controversial of which being Shadow the Hedgehog. Now let me get one thing straight: I like Shadow. When he's done right, I really like him, and when he's done wrong, he's crap.

Now, in Sonic adventure 2, Shadows first game, Shadow was done right. He mourned Maria, but didn't whine about her. He was cool/badass, without being too cheesy. And he was fast. That, is Shadow done right. Ironically, Shadow was done wrong in his own game, Shadow the Hedgehog. He was constantly whining about his past and Maria, and he was emo.

Yes, I mean emo, as in he wished he was never born. Don't believe me?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Lxgtpr4dKU&feature=related

Yes. Yes indeed.

Then, in Sonic 06, it was kind of weird... since he alternates between being done right, and being done.. meh.

The only game where I found him to be truly cringe worthy, was in his own game. In all other games he's been in, he's usually remained on the good scale of things. I think that he's a character who deserves more credit than he gets... but not too much. He's not THAT good of a character. Should he have stayed dead at the end of SA2? ...Possibly. The ending was really sad, and a fitting end to him in the game. Do I mind that he was brought back? Nope, can't say I do. There are worse characters... much worse than him. Just keep that in mind before flaming Shadow for being a bad character. He actually has some sort of personality.

I think that might do it... I'll probably think of more I could have written, but I think this is enough. ABRUPT END

---

this rant is pretty much invalid, I was capable of enjoying Shadow the Hedgehog in some sections

<v< Trudat.

Indeed.


Also, when i say in the beginning that those two games (Shadow and Sonic 06) are the only true bad games, I meant for the main series. Some of the spinoffs are bad.

*nods*

Yeah, I'd agree with that.

On the subject of the Werehog, however, my main problem was that those levels greatly outnumbered the regular Sonic ones. It seemed to me like for every regular Sonic level, you had to play two or three Werehog levels, and it didn't help that each one took longer than the Sonic levels. The Werehog suffered from the same problem as the Tails/Eggman and Knuckles/Rouge levels in SA2. I wouldn't mind playing those levels as much as I do if they were in the minority, which sadly they're not.

I agree. That, and the werehog levels were much longer than the Sonic levels. Most the improvements to how Sonic works in 3D was made by the day stages (and in my opinion, also the story and the feel of the game), the night stages were pretty much just gimmicky. I enjoyed them, but I enjoyed the Sonic levels much more. I think they said that the werehog/sonic levels were split around 60/40 or something like that... but the werehog leves are much longer, so they feel like 75% of the game.

Although I still think that the werehog gameplay would be so much better if it was tweaked a bit, and had Knuckles instead of the werehog. I didn't really mind the treasure hunting, but Knuckles' gameplay should have been the werehog's, a brawler/platforming type of affair.

Well, you probably already know my opinion on the matter anyway.

Sonic labyrinth?

Yeah, I guess... Though if they were going to do that they'd need to make the combat less repetitive.

Indeed I do.

Is Sonic labyrinth a main game? I thought it was a spinoff... which is bad IMO.

True. They probably won't though.

January 24th - 2010

The beginning of something new, and the beginning of titles

So, I started playing a game that I, for some reason, stopped playing a while ago, named Etrian Odyssey II: Heroes of Lagaard. Playing Etrian Odyssey 1 and loving it, it's strange I didn't continue on with the second one. However, I started playing it, and an hour or so in, I remembered how Gar chronicled his adventures with FF: Dissidia. And I thought to myself "That's an idea worthy of stealing is that." So that's what I'll do. However, I'll not chronicle MY adventures through this RPG... but my characters. Why? You'll see.

The game:
It's an old school style, first person, dungeon crawler RPG. True to form, it's balls-to-the-wall hard. Screw up once, and you can kiss your game over. If you know what you're doing, it'll be hard but you can manage it, for the most part. The game features no main characters, but is class based. You create your own characters from 12 different classes, each with 4 different "characters", two female and two male. Your party can consist of 5 characters, divided into the standard back row and front row. Front row takes more damage more frequently, but deals more damage with melee weapons. Back row deals crap damage with melee weapons, but normal damage with ranged weapons and magic, and takes less damage. You walk around the dungeon, drawing the map on the bottom screen of your DS. You encounter random battles, fight in first person, and find treasures. Simple as that, much much harder than it sounds.

The story:
From good old wiki: "Within the Grand Duchy of High Lagaard, a crisis has suddenly caused renewed interest in a floating castle which resides high in the clouds overhead. According to the available research, it can be reached by traversing a forested maze, the Yggdrasil Labyrinth, composed of many levels. In an effort to obtain the mythical "Grail of Kings" said to be kept in the floating palace, the Duke of High Lagaard is now recruiting adventurers in order to explore the labyrinth and discover exactly how to reach the castle. The player takes the role of the leader of one such guild of adventurers." There is essentially very little story. It's all gameplay. Now, with the game explained, and the story explained, lets move on to the meat of things...

The party:
(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Protector.jpg)
Name: Cylvia
Class: Protector
A paladin-in-training, she's the leader of the group. Loyal, responsible, mature and level headed, she's what keeps the group going through tough times. Being a protector, she specializes in shielding her friends from harm, even being able to nullify elemental damage.
Role: Tank.

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Darkhunter.jpg)
Name: Cara
Class: Dark hunter
Enjoys exploring, having fun and dominating monsters, she's the group's second in command. Teasing, taunting but friendly, she's a valuable asset for the group in terms of damage. Being a Dark hunter, she specializes in whipping enemies, keeping them from moving and reducing their attack power, her whip even capable of insta-killing enemies low on HP.
Role: Damage dealer (DPS)

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/GunnerM.jpg)
Name: Nara
Class: Gunner
A master of all things firearms, he's known to never miss and fires faster than anyone else. Charming, friendly and outgoing, his long ranged attack power and ability to cure status effects serves the group very well. Being a Gunner, he specializes in hitting enemies at long range, even adding elemental damage to his shots, and being able to cure any status effect on all party members.
Role: Secondary damage dealer (DPS), support.

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Warmagus.jpg)
Name: Rita
Class: War magus
A healer who has learned the art of the sword, she's capable of holding her own both in hand to hand, and magic. Quick to anger, skeptical but well meaning, she's a vital part of the group as both a healer and damage dealer. Being a War magus, she specializes in healing, buffing and dealing damage. Working together with a hexer can make her quite powerful.
Role: Healer, tertiary damage dealer.

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Hexer1.jpg)
Name: Karin
Class: Hexer
A witch experimenting with the way of curses, monsters will regret going against her. Appears cold, scary, but quite funny and friendly inside, she's a prime example of looks being decieving. Being a Hexer, she specializes in debuffing the enemies through curses, or afflicting them with status effects. Hurt her too much, and she can deal massive damage with her revenge curse.
Role: Debuffer


With the introductions done, it's time to get to the REAL meat of stuff... LETS GO CAPS!

The beginning
The group assembled in the explorer's guild temple, ready to head into the Yggdrasil labyrinth. Going to the Duke's palace, they learned that to go anywhere in the labyrinth, they needed a proof card. They took on a mission in order to recieve the proof card: Make a map of the first floor of the labyrinth. Gearing up in Sitoth Trading with the limited money they had, they went into the labyrinth. They looked around, marvelling at the beautiful serene forest they found themeselves in. Walking forward, they encountered a guard who learned of their mission. Taking them deeper in the forest, they had to find their way back to the entrance, mapping the floor as they went. Taking off, things went mostly without a hitch. On the way, they encountered a rock water spring. Not knowing what to do with it, they continued on. Making it back to the entrance quickly, they were given the proof card, thus allowed full entrance into the labyrinth.

After gearing up more, and resting at the Flaus inn, they took a mission from the Stickleback bar. "Find some mineral rock water." Remembering the spring they found, they made their way to the spring and quickly gathered the water, easily clearing the mission. Deciding to explore the floor further, they continued deeper into the labyrinth. After a while, they reached a large room, with a giant fearful monster in the middle. Even when injured, the monster was clearly way out of their league, so they quickly moved on, eventually finding the stairs up to the next floor. Deciding to stay on the current floor to practice their skills on monsters to gain levels, they managed to get quite a bit better than they were at first. During their training, they discovered a jewel in a tree. Cara reached and grabbed it, but they were jumped by three giant caterpillar monsters. The group was quickly demolished, but through the power of plotholes (and loading the last save) they appeared back in Lagaard. After some more training, they went back to try again, this banishing the caterpillars. Karin's poison ability and Cara's Viper ability, both of which cause the poison affliction helped greatly. Now, they rest in the inn, preparing for the challenge on the upper floors...



I have no idea how much I'll do this. I'd prefer to do it everytime I play the game, but it's not always very interesting, or I'm not always in the mood. And yes, when they were demolished, I died. Not my fault, those **** caterpillars have 90 HP each, and at the time Cara only dealt 30 or so damage WITH her special skills. 'twas just an example of how much the game can **** you over. try to be greedy and get the gem, and you just might die horribly.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go do.. something. I have nothing clever to end this with.

---

God damn this is going to be a biiiiig task

Hehehe. This should be interesting to see.

It should indeed. After writing the introductions and stuff, I was too tired to make an effort to write about the individual characters in the "written let's play", though I do intend to try to do it more.



I also forgot one game mechanic: F.O.E monsters. Basically, they're mini-boss mobs. They aren't random, but show up on your map. They can move in set patterns, or chase you down. Needless to say, you want to avoid them. A lot. They're epically strong, often capable of one hit KO-ing your party members. You can return later when you've level'd up and kick their ass though. Very satisfying. In EOII, they give no XP, so there's no reason to fight them, except for the things they drop (which you use to create better weapons/armor). I don't know what F.O.E really stands for, but the fanbase has many names for them. The most common being "**** Overpowered Enemy". The fearful enemy the group encountered (which is pretty much a t-rex by the way, trust me, I was destroyed by it the first time) is indeed an F.O.E. They'll kill him, but it won't be until a few floors later.

F***ing Overpowered Enemy sounds like a good nickname. Although being my second favorite genre, I tend to suck at half the RPG's I play unless I know fully what I'm doing or if I grind the hell out of it (For me, Disgaea required both, but mainly the latter).

Yeah. Another often used nickname is **** On Encounter. I always suck at RPG's at first, but once I get the hang of the mechanics, I can do okay without too much grinding. I only grind because it's awesome to easily kill the giant dragon with lots of HP.

Another note: The bad thing about the F.O.E isn't just it's strength, but the fact that it can not only join random battles, and even boss battles, but that it just seems to appear out of nowhere. You'll be going around a corner, and whoops! F.O.E! And there's a million of them. On the third floor of the second game, you're pitted against, I am not kidding, 10-15 of them, all of them capable of demolishing you if you don't manage to escape. It's a cruel and brutal trick. I even got tricked into going into a room for a treasure chest, only to get jumped by an F.O.E that killed a character per turn. But I'll get to taht soon...

On the subject of F.O.E:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dB_PVPyn6n8&feature=related

One of the reasons I grinded like hell while playing Disgaea 3 was so I could speed through the rest of the story with a few overpowered characters and OHKO the final boss (which I managed to do with Mao when I got to him on Christmas day). I'd assume F.O.E's are tied to Goddamned Bats.

So, new rant. I should call the topic ILS' topic of rant type thingies <_<

So, this rant is about the IMO fan-dumb that surrounds the Metroid franchise. Observe:

As most Metroid fans know, a new game is in development, called Metroid: Other M. This game is being developed in collaboration with Team Ninja, famous for among other things obviously, having each and every female character be quite.... busty. And almost naked. And some would say slutty looking. The obvious outcry from the fans is: "Team Ninja will give Samus bigger boobs and make her a sex symbol!!!". Recent new screenshots showing Samus' bust seems to prove their theory that she's got big breasts now. Or it would, if it wasn't for one little, tiny, detail.

Samus has always had big breasts. And she's always been a sex symbol.

Now, I've got two theories as to why fans believe her breasts are new and enlarged. One, they suck at Metroid games. Which is fair, not everyone is great at every type of game. Two, they're just insanely dumb. Lets look at the breast argument first.

Samus has always had big breasts, fact. That's just how it is. Don't believe me? Go play Metroid Zero Mission. Now beat the game. Look at the ending screenshot. Now go through the game again, and do better and look at the screenshot. Too lazy? Look no further. (http://www.vgmaps.com/Other/OtherStuff/Metroid-ZeroMission-Collage-Endings.png) Now take one, good, long look at those pictures. Can you tell me in which of those pictures Samus is flat chested? That's right, none of them. Those are from a Nintendo made Metroid game, which means those pictures are canon. Samus has always had big breasts, Team Ninja didn't implement them. Stop whining and get your facts right. Just for good measure, here is Zero Suit Samus from Brawl. (http://img1.livegen.fr/00/00/01/68/0000016878.jpg) Pay attention to her chest area. I rest my boobs case.

As for Samus being a sex symbol.... lets not kid ourselves. She's always been a sex symbol. Again, we need look no further than the endings to the Metroid games. How are gamers rewarded for doing good? The better you do, the (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tz0ltZMk5YE&feature=related) more (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wlu5Mx-9wwU) clothing (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDh0Z0Wp89c) she (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OzotViX-Hg) takes (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QaFSVhA4W4) off. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pQtbFidSf0)

Sorry for all the links, they just lead to the different endings. For proofz.

The only one that DOESN'T follow this trend is the Metroid Prime ending, in which she only takes off her helmet. Every other game has her either strip, or pose. Granted, compared to other sex symbols it might not be that bad, but she's a sex symbol none the less.


Even IF Team Ninja somehow increased her breast size, even IF they made her a bigger sex symbol than now... This is a Nintendo game, with a fan loved franchise. Nintendo would never let Team Ninja get away with something like that, unless it was part of the character. That, and she'll probably be inside her power suit for 90% of the game, so we won't get to see anything.

No, the fans should just stop whining, or call the waaaaaaambulance. Samus has always had big boobs and been sexy. Get over it.

It will only have become too much, the day a metroid attaches itself to Samus' breast and begins sucking. Which will never ever ha-

http://eriance.deviantart.com/art/Samus-Metroid-Love-67648760

Oh.

Well, **** me.

I thought this one was lame tbh.

Lulz.

Meh, didn't expect much from it myself... Not much to say when you're right...

Or when you misinterpret the opposing viewpoint, yup

Her breasts really aren't that big to be honest anyway, even in SSBB, it's just what she wears that outline 'em.

March 19th - 1991 up to April 22nd - 2010

So, instead of typing out a blog entry of something that happened today, or a few days ago, I’ll instead do a blog about my life as a gamer. 15 years ago.

We’re **** traveling across time here.

I apologize in advance, as this blog post might not be that funny. Of course, you could argue that I’m NEVER funny, in which case I’ll employ the deadliest of interwebz insults, second only to yo momma: NO U. But seriously, this is gonna be more of a trip down memory lane as I reminiscence about my time as a gamer during my younger years. So yeah, if that stuff bores you, you probably shouldn’t read on. We’ll start where my life as a gamer began: Around 1995.

The earliest memory that I have, is ironically one of video game-ian nature. The earliest memory I have, is of me, my dad and my mom playing on the old Commodore 64, back when I was around 3-4 years old. This **** was ****, it had 64kb of ram. That’s 64 thousand. If that’s not ****, I don’t know WHAT is. Anyway, that’s the earliest memory I have. After digging through my memory and a list of Commodore 64 games on Wikipedia, I finally discovered what game I always played with my mom and dad. That game, was cliffhanger.
(http://im.rediff.com/movies/2008/feb/18look1.jpg)

No, not that cliffhanger. THIS cliffhanger:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMCyZ4sm04Q

Hell. Yes. It’s like Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner, only… a lot more pixilated, and ****. But it’s the first game I played, albeit rarely. I only played it when my mom and dad wanted to play it with me, and even then it was mostly just for laughs when we failed over and over. I didn’t care that I sucked balls at the game, I was having fun with my mom and my dad, and that’s all I really cared about. I never played any other Commodore 64 games, only cliffhanger. I don’t remember much more from that year, but the NEXT year is where things get interesting.

In the winter of 1996, me, my mom and my dad were in the US. More specifically, we were on our way HOME from the US. We were stuck in New York airport, unable to get on a plane. I was horribly bored (we ended up waiting for 11 hours), and my mom and dad could see that. It was at that moment, that they gave bought me a gift that would spark my interest in my deepest, most beloved hobby.

They gave me a giant **** brick.
http://www.ratteswg.de/Uber_mich/Hobbies/Nintendo/Gameboy.jpg

Seriously, to a little 5 year old like me, the thing was MASSIVE. But I was amazed anyway. It was like the Commodore back at home, except I could play it anywhere I wanted, and it even had better graphics! I was ecstatic. What was the first game I ever truly owned, and played on the gameboy you asked? Oh, just KILLER **** INSTINCT. Nevermind that I sucked horribly at it, nevermind that I had no idea what was going on, nevermind that I didn’t even know what a fighting game was, it was a blast. I loved every single minute of it. Things only got worse once I got Donkey Kong for the gameboy, which to this day remains one of the games that I have played the most.  I must have completed that game over 20 times, and spent more hours on it than I ever have on RPG games. It was also the game that caused my first nerd rage incident. I got pissed at that giant **** Donkey Kong final boss, so much so that I headbutted the screen hard enough for it to break.

I was very pissed.

Anyway, I’ve pretty much upgraded to every new iteration of the Nintendo handhelds ever since then, and they’ve always had a special place in my heart. My first console, however, was the good old Super Nintendo Entertainment System. Now, I wish I could remember exact details on how I got it, but I sort of remember the first game I played on it. The choice is between two games: It was either Jungle Book, based on the Disney movie, or Alladin, based on the… Disney movie....

Huh.

Anyway, this was really amazing to me. Even better graphics, a separate controller, and TONS of games. The SNES is probably my favorite console ever, and the one I played the most. Many good times were had with the SNES. There’s not that much to say about this era of my life, and from here on, we get into the more “recent” consoles, like the N64, PS1, etc. so I won’t go into more detail.

“BUT WAIT” you say, “WHERE IS THE SEGA LOVE? HOW CAN YOU LIKE SONIC IF YOU NEVER PLAYED SONIC”. To that I’ll say, press your god damn caps key. Even with cruise control you have to **** steer. Anyway, the reason there is no Megadrive description is because…. Well, I never had one. Every megadrive game I’ve ever played, I played at a friend’s house, or I’ve emulated later in life. Same thing with NES games. And surprisingly, I never had a PS1 either. I only got into Sony during its PS2 era, where I also played most of the PS1 games that I happened to miss. When I finally got the money to buy a PS3, I was going to play my PS2 games on it in honor of my dead PS2, but Sony is a bunch of dicktwaddlers who removed backwards compatibility. They should just go climb a wall of dicks. But that’s a rant for another time…

Anyway, that is essentially my journey through gaming. The older I got, the more into gaming I became, and the more consoles I saved up for at a time. It all started with the Commodore 64 and the Gameboy, ever since then, I’ve been in love with gaming. It’s an escapism that allows me to be a great hero or a badass anti hero, or even a villain in some cases. I’m able to do what I can’t do in real life, able to get out aggressions instead of taking them out on people in real life. Most of my knowledge, I’ve gained from video games. Hell, if it wasn’t for Pokemon Blue, I might not be typing this post right now, as it might not have been so interested in learning how to speak English. One thing is for sure though. I am a gamer, and until the day I die, I will probably remain to be so.

…..What? You still here? Urgh…. Fine. I’ll end on a horrible joke.

Why did the condom leave so suddenly? Because it got pissed off.

There. The quality just dropped 80 notches, I hope you’re happy. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll need to go clean my nostalgia tainted glasses.

Ahh, Donkey Kong, holy **** was that game hard, especially once you reached the desert map. I'm still not sure how I finished that game. I gotta see if TV Tropes has a page on that game...

Also, wat? No Genesis?!? What is this I don't even...

lol, you're funny mads

Yeah, some of those puzzles got stupidly difficult in the later levels... And yeah, no Genesis. I don't think I even knew it existed <_<


And thank you Rachel.

May 1st - 2010

So, today a video game arrived, a video game I have been waiting anxiously to try. In fact, I've been waiting to Monster Hunter Tri it.

Oh god, what a horrible way to start off a blog entry.

Unless you are blind (or stupid, which none of you are, but not mentioning them would be discrimination against stupid people), you know that the game was Monster Hunter Tri, somehow sounding cooler than Monster Hunter three. Now, this was a complete impulse buy on my part. I saw a few videos, and read up on it a bit, and it seemed very interesting. A mix between an action game and an RPG game, with no levelling, but gear improvements instead. I was intrigued, and finding it somewhere for a somewhat cheap price, I bought it, (online, because buying it in a store would have cost me several Monster Hunter Trillions of moneys.

God damn it, I really hope this blog improves soon.

Anyway, I've been playing it most of the day, and I've got one thing to say. ****. Awesome. Well, two things, but spread out over two sentences. The game is quite good I think, and I'm enjoying it so far. For anyone who hasn't read anything about the Monster Hunter series, I'll give you a rundown of what you do (in this game at least, never played the previous games in the series):

-You walk around a village, and buy stuff/gear or synthesize gear. (Typical RPG stuff)
-You can go outside and freehunt, where you slay monsters, collect resources from said monsters or the enviroment. It could be catching bugs, mining for ore, picking up herbs, gathering monster bones from carcasses, you name it.
-You can also swim, and fight underwater, which is a lot more fun that it sounds.
-You head back to town, where you can then use your materials to create better gear
-You can take on quests, for which you have a time limit. It can be slaugthering a set amount of monsters, capturing a monster, gathering something etc. Again, standard RPG stuff.
-You complete these quests, and the story (whatever small one there is) moves further along.

That's basically what you do. Now, all of the stuff I've mentioned is much, much deeper than I made it sound, of course. There are also different weapon types, like small swords, greatswords, lances, bowguns and etc. What's awesome is that you don't HAVE to stick to one of them, but you can switch between them freely. Of course, this would mean keeping up with the gear, but I like grinding, even for materials, so it doesn't matter to me.


My character is a female monster hunter, named Cara. Now, I would like to report about her adventures and missions, but to be honest...

1: I'd feel like I was ripping of, among others, Gar's topic in which he documents his gaming adventures, and
2: I do not have the necessary discipline. Like, at all. I'd miss out on updates ALL the time. And then eventually just give up.

However, I will try to chime in when I play the game. But don't expect all too much, as I'm horribly lazy. So, I guess I'll write about today.


Cara arrived at the small village called Moga village. Going through the tutorial, she learns many valuable things about being a hunter. She learns that the residents need someone to take out a great, sea dragon that causes earthquakes in the small village, the great Lagiacrus. Unable to take the monster on with her current skills and equipment, Cara sets to gather materials for better equipment, taking on Hunter quests from the local guild. For the most part just hunting around the vicinity of Moga woods, nothing was mouch trouble. At first unable to decide which type of weapon she wanted as her main weapon, she finally decides on the very defensive, slow but powerful Lance weapon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWn-g_AfcF4

As stated, no real problems were encountered at first. Then came a mission to collect monster guts from a bunch of aquatic monsters. An easy quest, Cara out from the coast, into open water. And encounted the dreaded Lagiacrus.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULWUu3xiJ78&feature=related

She promptly did the heroic thing, and ran right the **** back to shallow water. Seriously, I nearly pissed my pants when this happened. Not so much because the Lagiacrus appeared, or because I was afraid of fighting it. No, the reason I nearly pissed my pants, was because as I turned around to swim away, back to the previous area (as I had been instructed. I'd have tried to fight it, if not <_<), I heard this **** scary "OH **** RUN AWAY" jaws music start up, and I could hear it swim close. Not being able to turn around and look, I nearly pissed my pants. Then again, I AM a ****, so that might be why.

After that, Cara encountered few problems. By the end, she opened access to an entirely new hunting ground, a bit farther away from Moga village, called the Sandy Plains. It is a desert, in case you were wondering what it was. This new area brought a tiny bit of trouble to Cara's doorstep, but nothing she couldn't handle. It even got to the point where she was thinking "They exaggerated when they said this game was a little bit difficult..."

And she, that is to say, I should never, ever, ever have said that. Wanting to end the day with something that looked like a boss fight, Cara decided to go fight a monster called Great Jaggi, which sounded like the leader of the much smaller, easy creatures just called Jaggi.

It was. Oh dear god it was.

Upon entering the lair of the Great Jaggi, Cara was Zerg rushed by smaller Jaggi, unable to do anything. The lance weapon is slow, so Cara was unable to get away without putting her weapon away. And then came the Great Jaggi. And it raped. It did this 3-4 times. At this point, I reached Code Red. I suppose some explaining is in order.

I, like probably many a gamer, has three "modes" when playing games. I have dubbed mine Code Green, Code Red, and Code Blue. I spend most of my time in Code Green, where I am relaxed, playing the game and having fun. The game isn't TOO challenging, at most giving me small problems. If these problems become too large, I enter Code Red. This is the RAAAAAAAAAAAAGE mode. I become extremely frustrated, I call the game a cheap bastard, and I basically throw around a lot of insults and swear words at the game and it's developers.

I yell at an inanimate object, basically. Kind of sad, now that I think about it.

Once I realize that screaming at the TV doesn't work, and only serves to LESSEN my skills, I enter Code Blue. Code Blue is the mode I am the least in. Code Blue is when I become completely silent, and I decide to take the game seriously. This is where every ounce of my concentration goes towards one goal: Not letting the game win. At that point, the game officially becomes not a tool for entertainment, but my enemy. No matter what **** the game throws at me, no matter how cheap the enemies are, I concentrate and use my skills to get through. If you want a trope equivalent, here you go. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ptitlei78khc6p) After I get past the difficult point, I either shut the game off to relax, or go back to Code Green.

This time, because it was somewhat late, I stayed in Code Red, and shut the game off in anger. I shall now spent the night trying to come up with strategies to kill this Great Jaggi. It will taste the anger, it will taste the **** WRATH of Cara.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to plan how to take this **** down.

~ILS

---

Anger aside, this is a really great game. I can reccomend it. It's supposed to have great online Co-op as well

May 3rd - 2010

Yet another day, yet another monster hunt.

First of all, I'm going to whine very briefly about this week. It's a week where I wake up at 6:30am in the morning, and I get home from scool at about 4:30pm. It sucks. Like, a lot. It's like second year all over again, though only for a week. It still sucks. And the only subject I'll be having is Electronics, which I despise. But I guess I need to finish my exam project anyway, so I guess there's nothing to do about it. Anyway, monster killin' update. Much shorter than last time I'd guess, as nothing much has happened and I'm tired. (EDIT: No it isn't. I just kept on writing regardless of my state of mind)

So yesterday, the Great Jaggi got it's ass handed to it by Cara. While anyone with a brain (with the exception of me) could probably have figured this out, there is one big reason for being able to use any type of weapon you want, at all times, without needing to specialize in it. Not all weapons are effective against all boss monsters. When I switched from the Lance type weapon to the Sword and Shield type weapon, a much smaller, weaker but faster weapon that relies on quick attacks and lots of dodging, it was easy...er. It was easier, still difficult. But it fell down, and I skinned it's ass right off.

After doing this mission, I could now encounter them in the wild. While freehunting. Sometimes I could encounter two of them. Needless to say, I've gotten a lot better at fighting them after encountering two of them at once. I've also switched main weapon types, from the Lance to a new type of weapon I found: The switch ax, which is basically like a swiss army knife. Only except knives and forks and stuff, it's a big ax that can transform into a big sword.

This is one of the most badass weapons I've seen in games. It could only be more awesome if it was a scythe and a sword, had **** and was on fire. Technically, Cara has one of those two things, so it's actually very hard for it to get more awesome.

In other, boss related news, I've encountered a new one, a Qurupeco. A giant half-bird-rooster-wyvern type thing.

(http://fast1.onesite.com/capcom-unity.com/user/yuffie67/mh_tri/31829c1a5204e94415bddae6e8329641.jpg)

Yeah, I don't know either.

After catching on to the game's increase in difficulty, this boss was taken down on my first try (okay, Cara died ONCE, but I didn't fail the mission). Instead of killing it, I even captured it, for the sheer sake of adding insult to it's injury. It also nets me better items, but that's just a bonus for me. The special thing about the Qurupeco is that it can replicate other monster's calls and roars. Meaning it can essentially summon other monsters to help it. Even boss monsters.

Like Great **** Jaggis. And later on in the game, other boss monsters. Oh goody goody gumdrops.


But it's okay. I'm getting my revenge by making an entire set of armor out of the Qurupeco monster. Which has pointed me to another one of this game's bastardized mechanics: The drop system.

True, you don't have to grind in Monster Hunter, which is okay. You're entirely dependant on your gear. However, your GEAR is entirely dependant on the item drops. Which you have to go out and spend time collecting. I.E, grind to get. Some of the items I've had to get so don't drop very often, which is quite annoying. But it'll be worth it, wearing my precious, colorfur armor!

(http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/monsterhunter/images/thumb/e/ed/Qurupeco-Blademaster.png/200px-Qurupeco-Blademaster.png)
(The right one. I don't plan to wear the hat.... Cara would.... Cara would not wear that hat.)

Tomorrow, I shall probably grind for the rest of the Qurupeco armor set, and then maybe set my eyes on a new boss monster: A Royal Ludroth. A Ludroth is basically a crocodile expy, so I expect the Royal Ludroth fight to be my first underwater boss monster battle, giving me a taste of what it will eventually be like to fight the Lagiacrus.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go admire my precious, colorful giant half-bird-rooster-wyvern armor. Hurhur, you can see the midriff... hawt...

~ILS

---

The underwater battle is going to be a ****

After seeing an advert about this on TV I was wondering wonder or not I should get this at some point, I guess you answered that for me. What console is this on anyway?

*avoids TV Tropes link like the plague*

Monster Hunter Tri is on the wii, my good man.

Ahh. Haven't used my Wii in quite a while, I wonder if it's collecting dust...

Holy ****.... I just remembered I have a Wii....

I'll say this, if you like those kinds of games, Monster Hunter is a good reason to dust off that wii. I'm planning to try online, but I'm a coward who's so socially inept he has trouble playing with people he doesn't know, even when it's online. All the best stuff and the most epic monsters should be online multiplayer only, so I need to do it <_<

olo

I may get this sometime in the next few weeks.

June 20th - 2010 - In which I face my own psychology, physiology, and I whine

As the title would suggest, this is me putting my thoughts down on paper. Text. Internet. Ones and zeroes, ****, I don't know. Thoughts are being put down, that's what matters. Whining will also commence, as it is me we're talking about. Where is the fun about writing stuff if I can't whine about my life sucking (which it doesn't, I'm just an attention **** with a curiously low self esteem). So yeah, I will attempt to be funny as I always try to be. This is an indicator that I will be talking about time travelling dicks in just a few seconds, as that is the pinnacle of my humor.

That's the low self esteem talking right there. Though a time travelling dick show could be cool. I'd make up a clever name for it, but you'd have to be funny to do that.

EDIT: Seriously, I whine a lot. Just a heads up if you do dare read this depressing look into my sad, sad psyche.

The older I grow, the more I have learned about my own psychology, and my own self esteem. Ever since an incident a few years ago, (which some of you will probably know and be really, really tired of), I have come to the conclusion that I do not have one ego, but two. My ego, the basis for self esteem that every sentient person is in posession of, and a Man ego. Now those may seem similar, but you'd be wrong. You'd be as wrong as if you were agreeing with Mel Gibson. My ego, is how I view myself based on my own premises and expectations. I expect this much of myself, do I fullfill these expectations? That's my regular ego. By picking and choosing my own expectations, I can keep it under a great deal of control (Yet I still manage to have a bad self esteem. Goes to show that intelligence isn't the same as being smart.)

And then we have the Man ego. That motherfucking man ego. It's an ego I have no control over. It's how I judge myself based on ye olde (like, so ye olde that ye olde wasn't even invented yet) gender roles. Men are the hunters, the gatherers. They go out, and they kill. They **** snap bear necks like nobodies business, and then eat the bear, fur and everything. Then, once they've eaten the bear, they **** it out and throw the crap at the bear's wife and children, all while banging their own respective wives.

Obviously (sadly) these roles are not the same today. The gender role, translated into modern terms: The man is the strong, brave one. He goes out and gets what's needed, and protects his tribe or in this case, his family. He's the strong and dependable leader, always willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done.

If you know me, you should already see the problem.

When my Man ego looks at it, it doesn't laugh. It doesn't even sigh. It takes one look at me, before simply shaking it's head in deep utter shame, like a mother would do to her child, after finally giving up on it. I have been lifting weights for a couple of months. Though it has been FAR from long (Just about 10 minutes a day), I was content. I was doing something, strengthening my muscles, even if it was just a single cell at a time. Then earlier today, me and a few friends (bunch of nerds) started talking, with the assistance of IMs, about push ups. Don't ask me why, I was probably thinking of hentai or something at the time. Someone starts to talk about how many push ups they can do. I have never been able to do push ups before, but with the knowledge of my weight lifting in mind, I went "Hmm, surely I can do some, now that I've at least trained a tiny bit." So I get down, start to do push ups...

A few seconds later, my wrists are in pain, and I've taken six push ups before my arms litterally snap as if they were twigs, and I plummet to the ground. Six push ups is definately not a lot, but it's the biggest amount of push ups I've ever been able to take without breaks. Excited, like a little kid just encountering his first Nintendo 64, I sit back in front of my laptop, a big grin across my naive face. And then I see the other results.

50.

44.

17, followed by a "Yeah, I have litterally no muscles." message.

And this is where the Man ego rears it's ugly, ugly head. A guy, apparently with literally no muscles, still managed to take 17 push ups. I took six, before my arms simply gave up on me, and my wrists sent thunderbolts of pain through my arms.

Six. ****. Push ups.

It's at times like that, where the truth hits me. The truth I hide from and try to compensate for by investing my time reading, studying, and learning. The harsh truth that I so desperately try to ignore, but that gnaws at me like a rabid dog would gnaw on a bone.

I am a pathetic weakling. Even by nerd standards.

These guys are nerds. They follow the latest gaming news. They read comic books. They live streamed E3. They play Magic: The Gathering. They are by all accounts, my fellow men. They are like me, we share the same hobby. But all of them, even the guy with no muscles, are at least almost thrice as strong as I am. Even among my own kind, known for lacking physical strength, I am a pathetic weakling. And that hurts my Man ego. Men are supposed to be the physically strong gender, and I fail so miserably at that. Realizing and admitting this truth, I kid you not, is painful. To admit that even though I've trained for several months, I have made no improvement, hurts.

I **** hate my Man ego. So very **** much.

Desperate, I go back down to the floor, doing more push-ups. And I simply can't do it. With every push up, I feel the strength leave my body and that terrible, terrible coldness sneak up my back. It snakes it's way up my neck, before finally arriving in my brain as one, sad but cold truth. I am a terrible man. I do not fulfill the gender role. And we've just touched upon the strength attribute of the Man ego. Men are also meant to be brave. I jump at the sight of bugs, particularly spiders, a feat usually attributed to women. Being able to defend the family all leads back to the whole strength issue: Leaving aside the fact that no women have been caught by my trap (Perhaps I should replace the Barbie bait by My Little Pony), I would be wholly unable to defend my girlfriend if we were attacked. I would be unable to defend my child if we were attacked. Based on the gender role, I am a terrible man, unable to fulfill my role in society.

And it is depressing to admit. I have always known that I was a disgusting man. A sick, nasty, disgusting and downright detestable man. This, I have always known and acknowledged (Whether or not it's true, I don't know. My bad self esteem has a habit of talking for me). But I never think of myself as a terrible man... so when I'm reminded about it, I get depressed.

I do not get a depression. Simply being a pathetic weakling, even amongst my own kind, isn't enough to send me that far down. But it is enough to make me sad, and make me question what the hell I should do. I do not wish to be a women, yet I am clearly not fit to be a man. It leaves me in despair for a few short hours, before I simply accept my fate as a pathetic, terrible man.

But then the good side of the Man ego rears it's beautiful head, like a sunrise that breaks the dark blackness of the night. Unlike my regular ego, my ;an ego heals. After a while, I forget I only took 6 push ups, and I go about my merry way as if it never happened. In a few days, I will have completely forgotten, or unconsciously chosen to ignore, my weakness and cowardice. But right now, I am looking straight into the face of truth.

And it is a truth I could have lived without seeing...


Of course, ending it on that note wouldn't be very funny, so here's a joke. "Why do I think Link is a nazi? Because he spends a lot of his adventures killing Chus."

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go grow my hair out and dye it black.

Let the "lolweakling" and "six push ups lol ****" jokes commence!

---

I may exaggerate a bit, but most of what is written is the truth, that I can't handle

I can sympathise... It's really a wonder I can move my arms at all with my "muscles".

I feel the same way sometimes. Sometimes I wish I didn't have a Man ego.

HOLY **** IT'S AN UPDATE
25th of April, 2011

So today, I saw an ad for a free online MMORPG, Grand Fantasia. I don't know why, but as I downloaded it and started it up, it occured to me that I should take screenshots and take notes, to share with everyone. Will I do this every time? History says no, as I'll get too lazy and caught up in the game to do so, but we shall see. So lets get started on my adventures in the world of... ellipses...
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_FSAWfWeIUsE/S8o68Dnos7I/AAAAAAAAAXw/ozioWRuXrNE/s1600/GrandFantasia+photobucket.jpg

Lovely. As you can immediately see, it's deliciously animoo. Because I can't resist delicious animoo to save my life. First of all, character creation. This massive and exciting adventure (if the game is even any good) will revolve around... ellipses... fucking lead ups getting repetitive now... Cylvia the necromancer!

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Grand%20fantasia%20stuff/IntroducingCyllvia.jpg)

If anyone has eagle eyes, they can see her name is actually Cyllvia. Some **** took the name Cylvia, so I had to insert an extra l. For the purpose of this though, she's Cylvia. **** the double l. So, characters start out as novices, with no true class yet. And apparently, novice girls wear very revealing skirts and shirts.

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Grand%20fantasia%20stuff/elf_20110424_094349.jpg)

durrhurr panties

As far as I've read, sprites (little pets or something like that) play a huge role in the game. They gather crafting materials for you, craft, and can support you in combat, I think. I made my little sprite, and named him Nara. He's green, and has rastafari hair. No picture of him yet, but you'll see him later. Anyway.

First things first: Talking with the old sage Babama. After talking to him, he gave me a workstation for Nara. Damn, not even beginning the game properly yet and I'm already preparing to commit Nara to slavery. After giving me a slave station, he asked me to kill Jelly Rabbits. Just as the name suggests, they're cute little critters. Don't know, I guess I'm killing them to prevent massive outbreaks of diabetes? I don't know. After dealing with them, Cylvia is given the first tool on her way to become a necromancer... Big burly gloves!

Not very necromancer-y, but it gives more defense, so it'll do.

During that quest, Cylvia advanced to level 2, and was then told to go to the main village on noob island Siwa island, Siwa village. On the way, she stopped to talk to Efe, a sprite. Basically, his purpose is to teach you to the mechanics of using your sprite to collect materials. I picked the mining practice quest, except I discovered Nara can't mine, just hunt and forage. FUCK

After abandoning the quest, and picking one that Nara could actually complete, everything was good. Seems like it's a pretty cool mechanic, on first glance. Nara came back, with the items I sent him out to gather after a minute or two, and was quite pleased.

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Grand%20fantasia%20stuff/elf_20110424_095148.jpg)

If only the pictures weren't of such shitty quality. May have to work on that. You can chat to your sprite, and Nara told me there are crabs on the beach, and adviced me to crack 'em. Solid advice, I guess. He also starts smiling when he thinks of Cylvia, apparently. D'AAAAAAAW

In the process, she reached level 3 and went off to Siwa village where she saw OH JESUS

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Grand%20fantasia%20stuff/elf_20110424_095448.jpg)

I do not want to buy any of her armor. Ever.

Cylvia met with the village elder, Luadaman. He gave her a new skirt, same design just a different color. Why does an old man have skirts lying around? I have my theories.

The village is in dire need of starlight algae, guarded by laughing and smiling crabs. I guess it's time to crack 'em.

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Grand%20fantasia%20stuff/elf_20110424_095842.jpg)

I don't see why they're called laughing crabs. At all.

FUCK WHERE ARE THE SMILING CRABS WHAT THE FUCK oh there they are.

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Grand%20fantasia%20stuff/elf_20110424_100627.jpg)

What's with all the smiley crabs?

After that, I made Nara craft some boots. The crafting system seems really neat, but I can see it being a **** later on with more rare gear. I also feel bad, I'm working the poor guy really hard now. After talking to the village defender, Muha(haha), Cylvia was told to go talk to Bill the guard back in the forest. Attaining level 4, she was told to go back to Babama. He told her about the day of destiny, which is like the anime apocalype, and that I needed one more level to pick my first class. She quickly went on to talk to Bill the guard, and learned of a missing little girl. His instincts tell him to suspect the local fauna, namely the deer. Ooooooookay, I think he's not fit to be a guard.

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Grand%20fantasia%20stuff/elf_20110424_103512.jpg)

On the other hand, they look quite sinister.

Cylvia reached level 5. Fuck Bill's deer, time to go pick a class o boy o boy o boy. Muha(haha) who gave me the choice of different classes, thinks her choice of spellcaster fits her, and believes she get pleasure out of zapping things. And dear lord is he correct. After that, a few magic spells were aquired: Magic rocket, Blunting blade and Magic star cannon. **** yes. Also, I made the mistake of reading Blunting blade's description. "After casting, players can let the single enemy target's damage from every regular attack to reduce by 30 points." WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN. Most everything else in this game is in good english, were they drunk when they translated that?

After that, she went back and raped all the deers in the forest with newly found magic. Holy **** this does a lot of damage. Also looks like a proper kamehameha when she casts magic rocket.

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Grand%20fantasia%20stuff/elf_20110424_103143.jpg)

After taking care of the local fauna, Bill asks Cylvia to rescue the little girl, Jasmine, from a bunch of baby dragons. WHAT THE HELL I JUST WENT FROM KILLING DEER TO DRAGONS WAT. Anyway, the baby dragons are pussies, easily dying to Cylvia's NECROMANTIC MAGICNESS even though no necromancy is involved but fuck it. Damn, Jasmine looks like Tsugumi Halberd from Soul Eater Not!

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Grand%20fantasia%20stuff/elf_20110424_104012.jpg)

I swear, look her up on google.

To save her, Cylvia needed to kill a giant stone golem. It's a party quest but fuck that, Cylvia is an antisocial necromancer, she needs NO HELP.

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Grand%20fantasia%20stuff/elf_20110424_104204.jpg)

On the other hand...


But it just took a few magical spells to down him. EASIEST. PARTY QUEST. EVER. Cylvia turned the quest in, and was given a speech about the importance of teamwork. Lulz were had. Got a nice staff though, much more necromancer-y. That was pretty much the end of it, Cylvia is now ready to leave noob-island and get into the main area of the game. Nara has gained the ability to craft a bit more advanced gear, giving me bonus intelligence! Which, of course, I made him craft. Behold, THE NECROPANTS!

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Grand%20fantasia%20stuff/elf_20110424_110601.jpg)

Could also make a pair new gloves and boots, but will do that tomorrow.


And that's it for today. The game seems quite good for a free MMORPG, the art style is delicious animoo, so that's win in my eyes, and...  that's about it. It's nothing new, or revolutionary, but I'm having fun. If it's like the other free MMORPG's I've played, it will devolve into grinding very soon, so look forward to that.

If I continue this, of course. Will I overcome my laziness? Increase picture quality? WHO KNOWS?

---

is sad that the panties are now hidden by pants

I can't access any of those images. :-\

Should be fixed now.

I'm guessing you modelled her after Cara? Though admittedly those hips remind me more of Jessica...

Yup, always try to model my characters after Cara somewhat. I didnt name her Cara, mainly because that name is never available, unless I'm part of the beta testers or something. And yeah, she does have some damn nice hips.


26th of April 2011

Holy crap, I actually bothered continuing! This is unprecedented, unprecedented I say.

Last time, Cylvia had just finished killing innocent jelly rabbits and evil, conspiring deer amongst other local fauna, and had since then become a spellcaster. I did some off-screen grinding (how can one grind off-screen in a text-based playthrough/blogthingie?) of sorts, and made Cylvia some fancy necro-boots and necro-gloves, in addition to her necro-pants.

You should notice a theme by now, and yes, it WILL continue throughout this entire thing.

So the first of all, Cylvia talked to the captain of a nearby ship, and was taken to the mainland to start the real adventure. ADVENTURE HO! She got the choice between Kaslow the capital, Illya the magical city or Jale the mechanical. There will be no internet cookies for guessing which one was picked.

Upon arriving, she was tasked with killing more wildlife, and also collect worm venom. Not sure it was venom though, since the quest title said mucus. Even worse, this was apparently to help repair ships. Worm mucus. Huh.

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Grand%20fantasia%20stuff/Bullworm.jpg)
Also they were bullworms apparently. Oh look, small descriptive text! Getting fancy now.

A few quest chains later, she was tasked with killing a lot of pigs up in the northwestern pig nest, as revenge by a guy named Ali who lost his son to them. Lost his son. To pigs. Really? I mean.... I could understand boars, but..... pigs? Also, Cylvia keeps finding items called "Lost power of the forest". **** can't be that lost, there are hundreds of them apparently, as they drop from every mob here. More quests involving crackin' crabs, though of them as interesting as XD or : ) crabs. Nara was trained a bit in making mage armor, and was then able to create two new pieces: Fantasia gloves and leggings. DO WANT. Also, Ali had this insightful thing to say: "Next, it’s time the wild pig should die” Ali looked at the sky sadly. Classic line, right up there with Shakespear I think.

Also, a book that I had with me since I became a spellcaster but I hadnt checked out, gave me a ring for becoming level 10 in the meantime. A book gave me a ring. Well ****, this doesnt just look like anime, it IS anime.

Having gathered the materials, Nara made Cylvia Fantasia leggings!

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Grand%20fantasia%20stuff/Indianpants.jpg)
...Except it's more like camouflaged indian leggings if you ask me.

Cylvia took off towards the wild pig den to the northwest, to kill the giant boar "Duchess". Oh look, first aggressive mob in the game and OH SHIT IT'S PUMBAA!

(Would totally have a pic if I hadn't been an idiot and forgot to take pictures of the whole pig-den expedition)

Cylvia finally reached the Duchess' lair. But the quest had bugged, leaving her without the meat she needed to summon her. FUUUUUUUUUU back to Ali again. Finally with everything in place, it was time to kill the giant boar. It was the first challenge of the game, given she actually had to try. Had to drink TWO entire health potions (of like 17 total). With all the quests in the area done, Cylvia was rewarded with the thing every mage needs.... a mage robe!!

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Grand%20fantasia%20stuff/Necro-happy.jpg)
Doing the happy necro-dance of joy

More like a... necrobe, M I RIGHT?

She moved on to the next zone, the moonlit forest and HOLY SHIT, CHOCOBO!

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Grand%20fantasia%20stuff/Chocobo.jpg)
*Chocobo theme*

She went to the local village, Zaga village, and was tasked with killing local wildlife. Gee, does this sound familiar? Oh well, more dead things to resurrect later. During the slaughter of wolves, a dark box fell out from one of them. She opened it and OH CRAP A ZOMBIE FUCK FUCK FUCK OW OW (Would have pic, if it wasn't for the zombie surprising me and nearly killing me)

For taking care of the local fauna, the village elder rewarded me with a choice between... a sword and a shield. Thanks you old bastard, for those very un-necromancer rewards. Further in the forest, she found an altar. Apparently, the lost power of the forest things can be exchanged to gain favor with a sprite god. Huh. Oh well, less clutter in the filled to the brim inventory. Another black box fell out of an animal. Oh well, time to kill the zomb- OH HELL WHAT IS THIS, I'M A ZOMBIE NO!

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Grand%20fantasia%20stuff/zombiefied.jpg)
THE ULTIMATE NECROMANCER IRONY! DAMN IT!

After that unpleasant experience, and some more quests, she reached level 14, at which point a voice in her head (I guess) told her to go seek out the class master in Illya, the main capital of mages. CLASS UPGRADE O BOY O BOY O BOY. Upon closer inspection, it's a pretty nice gate they have there.

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Grand%20fantasia%20stuff/Nicegate.jpg)
Pretty nice, except... you know, I would have used a normal door, not a giant portal. Each to their own I guess

Aaaaand.... that's it. Next time, we shall upgrade from a spellcaster to a mage! Probably with a slew of new means to slaughter the local wildlife, who will tremble in fear before Cylvia. One step closer to that great necromantic dream now, one step closer...

Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go listen to this song that has got nothing to do with this game, but it's stuck in my head.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LzXCtM26CTA&hd=1

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i wonder how many animals i will kill next time

28th of April 2011

No intro, lets get straight in there.

Wandered around the magic city of Ilya. Quite a nice place, though very crystal...ly. Crystally.

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Grand%20fantasia%20stuff/Nicecity.jpg)
Chocobos and crystals... this is like Final Fantasy XIV, only less buggy

Cylvia is only level 14, still need to get to 15 to be able to upgrade from spellcaster to mage. So heading back to Zaga village, it's time to gather some quests and kill some animals. One partciular quest had the text "'Let me think of a solution. Speaking of spiders, I am an expert.' Fuleyla showed an unnatural smile." Is it just me, or does that imply spider sex? Is it me? Is it?

Probably is.

Nara the sprite tried to craft Sprite's fantasia gloves, in which one of the ingredients were my original fantasia gloves. It failed, and now Cylvia has no gloves. I can remake them, but... the dickery of the crafting system presents itself. More on that at the end. Also learned that a giant lizard, Ananahahalaya or something, didn't write it's name down, is fucking up the moonlight forest. Time to go solo another party quest. Not been hard so far, what's the worst that could happen.

Oh, and new outfit!

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Grand%20fantasia%20stuff/Snazzyoutfit.jpg)
Snazzy

Another quest involved killing goblins... indeed, we're not killing wildlife anymore, we're killing humanoids.

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Grand%20fantasia%20stuff/Goblins.jpg)
Cylvia is moving up the ranks

Fighting goblins has also shown a pretty clear thing: Mana consumption is a **** in this game. I need to sit down and rest quite often.

LEVEL 15! CLASS CHANGE YEAH YEAH YEAH. Getting to the upgrade, the magic academy dean, Edward, says he knows where Cylvia lives, so she shouldn't use magic for evil. I thought she was a traveling adventurer? She doesn't live in one particular area... One of the new available skills is "Prison of Dancing Blades". Oh **** yes.

Doing another quest chain, this one for a proper coward. First, he wanted Cylvia to kill some wolves for him. Then her wanted her to talk to a girl he has a crush on for him. Then she had to go fetch his dropped weapons from some goblins. IT JUST NEVER ENDS, DO IT YOURSELF YOU COWARD.

(http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d156/metroid1234/Grand%20fantasia%20stuff/COWARD.jpg)
SON OF A BITCH!

But before that, time to fight the giant lizard! It got summoned and.... Cylvia got creamed. Bad. Really ****ing bad. Like, totally owned. Oh dear, what a giant failure. Ooohhh dear... And on that note, I had to stop for the day. On a sad, dead note. Conclusion: Can probably not solo party monsters anymore. Damn it.

ADDENDUM: On another character I'm doing (one that isn't documented here), the crafting system has seriously proved it's dickery. Currently working towards making a pretty nice early level armor set (I assume Cylvia will get access to the mage version of the set soon). The gloves require earlier tier gloves, which require earlier tier gloves. And it's really hard to succeed in making the armor set pieces... which leads to LOTS of frustration. I mean it's no loss, I can remake the earlier gloves somewhat easily, but... damn. The crafting system is pretty cool, and I like it, but son of a.... it's a true dick of a system.

Now if you'll excuse me I need SLEEP. NOW.

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God damn crafting system

World of lolcraft