Ultimate Paradise

Creative Work => User Based Stories => Topic started by: Ryuk on 05 October, 2007, 04:53:43 pm



Title: Ganonsmentor42's User Story-Apocalypse
Post by: Ryuk on 05 October, 2007, 04:53:43 pm

PROLOGUE

London, England / Present day


"Hehehe...what luck running into one of you bastards here. There's no way you can take on all of us!
Even for one of you goody-goodies! Let it be known that squad 612 of Hell, assigned to relinquish those of
England, will kill this bas--! "
   And with a flash of light, the demon stopped talking.
"W-what happened!?" "Where'd that Angel go?" "Hehe...I bet he ran away!"
   And with that, blood spewed across the ground. The Demon was sliced in half, and fell to the ground.
"...Let it be known...that I, TBizzle, Captain of the 4th Great District of Heaven's Army,
will kill every demon that crosses me..."
   "He killed the boss! Get him!" "But he's a Captain, we can't fight him!" "As second in command, I command
 you to fight!"
   "Are you losers quite done? I really have to be somewhere, and I'm getting bored.
Why can't I just enjoy Earth's beauty?"
  "Grrr...CHAAAAAARGE!!!!"
   Without opening his eyes, TBizzle drew his two blades and sliced through the crowd, summoning mighty
flames that burned flesh instantly, and swung his other blade to his side, creating a chain of
lightning that struck many a demon.
   "I-incredibe... We have to surround him! Find an opening and strike him down!"
   *Hmph...I'm afraid that won't be happening...*
*Hehehe...the fool...you should be turning around constantly, so you can at least try to safe...Oh well,
if I get the kill, I should be rewarded...*
   And so the demon charged him from behind, putting all his might into piercing his armor,
straight through the heart.
  "I'm sorry to tell you that that won't work..."
   The demon struck his armor, and without a scartch on the armor, his sword shattered, along with his arm.
   "AHHHH!!!"
   And so Tbizzle killed the demon, and flew up.
"I'm really not in the mood to kill you all one-by-one, so let's end this now..."
TBizzle crossed his swords together, and started to concentrate. An aura began to form around him and he
said," by God's will flowing through me, and the strength of my body, I shall send you all into an exile...known
as the exile of nothingness! DESTROY!"
   TBizzle dropped his blades to Earth, and as they stuck into the dirt, a great flash of red flew out of the
demons, and dissapeared, along with their bodies.
  "Phew, I guess I should move on. I pray for those innocents who dies by their hands..."
But suddenly, a strong, uneasy feeling surrounded him. A powerful presence had appeared behind him.
  "I'm sorry to tell you I can't let you do that...well, actually I'm not! HAHAHAHAHA!!"
Then this...this being, charged at TBizzle with incredible speed, making quite a rukus. But,
Tbizzle didn't flinch. He knew no matter how strong an opponent was, they couldn't break God's Gift. So,
quite weary to the charging beast, he picked up his swords and waited for the being's weapon to repel
off of him so he could immediately counterattack. But when TBizzle was struck, there was no repulsion, and
almost immediately he was sent flying.
   TBizzle laid there, shocked by the crack that was put in his armor, and finally gasped.
   "There's no way...it's impossible..." He looked up at the blurry figure. "Y-You're...!"
The large figure formed a wide grin...and laughed...


Title: Re: Ganonsmentor42's User Story-Apocalypse
Post by: Zigzagoon on 05 October, 2007, 04:58:12 pm
Yay =D


Title: Re: Ganonsmentor42's User Story-Apocalypse
Post by: Ryuk on 05 October, 2007, 05:05:32 pm
Yay =D

Thanks!

More comments would be thankful.

I personally think I did bad...=(


Title: Re: Ganonsmentor42's User Story-Apocalypse
Post by: TBizzle on 05 October, 2007, 06:59:13 pm
Not as good as that other one you wrote...

But it's still good.  ;D


Title: Re: Ganonsmentor42's User Story-Apocalypse
Post by: Ahriman on 05 October, 2007, 08:45:20 pm
Interesting. It was decent, but it lacked any development of an actual story, whcih is bad for a prologue. And it needs moar me. >_>


Title: Re: Ganonsmentor42's User Story-Apocalypse
Post by: Ryuk on 05 October, 2007, 08:45:51 pm
Not as good as that other one you wrote...

But it's still good.  ;D


It isn't good at all! Don't lie to me!


*Shoty's Text*

XO


Title: Re: Ganonsmentor42's User Story-Apocalypse
Post by: Ahriman on 05 October, 2007, 09:05:51 pm
Not as good as that other one you wrote...

But it's still good.  ;D


It isn't good at all! Don't lie to me!


*Shoty's Text*

XO


Everyone thinks their own work sucks. Just live with it and keep going. >_>


Title: Re: Ganonsmentor42's User Story-Apocalypse
Post by: A Duck on 05 October, 2007, 09:08:44 pm
i liek it, its bad ass, needs more me in it though :)


Title: Re: Ganonsmentor42's User Story-Apocalypse
Post by: Nic on 05 October, 2007, 09:11:05 pm
Pretty good so far. Looking forward to more.


Title: Re: Ganonsmentor42's User Story-Apocalypse
Post by: Choronzon on 15 October, 2007, 11:19:55 am
write more you lazy SOB!