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Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story....

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Author Topic: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story....  (Read 2615 times)
Spring-Loaded
Spring; the season your dreams take place in
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« Reply #105 on: 14 September, 2007, 10:34:43 pm »

Hey, Jawo. Just to let you know, I've changed into a human-like dark knight instead of a kirby-like form. If it interferes at all with the story, then just keep it in the old way. I'll post a picture of what I look like now soon.

Anyways, it just keeps getting better. I can't wait for the next update.
It won't make a difference...
I portray everyone in a human-like fashion, anyway.

I highly appreciate being included in your story, Jawo'. =D

~JudgmentAngel and Adol_the_Red look at each other.
Adol: Uhh, rock-paper-scissors for it?


XD

Yea, I thought that one was worth chuckling over. ^_^

I have only one suggestion: Somehow put this in the story.....



"*And then *Whoever* made him bite the curb.*

'You murdered them.....YOU KILLED THEM ALL!!' said *Whoever*.

Bad Guy:'Heh....I just wanted some extra cash, that's all.'

**Whoever* lifts his foot*

Bad Guy: 'Wait, don't you want to hear my last words?!'


*Whoever*:".........I just did."

If you can fit that in somewhere, I'm sure it woud help.



I.....don't think that will work.... >_>

You're right, it would  Smiley
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