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Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story....

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Author Topic: Comments, Critizisms, and Suggestions for my story....  (Read 2704 times)
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« Reply #105 on: 03 September, 2007, 09:42:06 pm »

"I like pie."


>_>

Am I really that hard to write about?
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« Reply #106 on: 04 September, 2007, 12:17:44 am »

"I like pie."


>_>

Am I really that hard to write about?
oh, come on. You know very well that the segment was purely for comical reasons.

if i want you to fight, I'll be sure to include your knife-wrenches, ok?
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« Reply #107 on: 04 September, 2007, 03:13:49 pm »

It's about time my favorite story gets updated!
*reads addition*
Uh-oh. I wonder what's going to happen next.
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« Reply #108 on: 05 September, 2007, 06:48:03 pm »

I highly appreciate being included in your story, Jawo'. =D

~JudgmentAngel and Adol_the_Red look at each other.
Adol: Uhh, rock-paper-scissors for it?


XD
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« Reply #109 on: 05 September, 2007, 07:02:43 pm »

I have only one suggestion: Somehow put this in the story.....



"*And then *Whoever* made him bite the curb.*

'You murdered them.....YOU KILLED THEM ALL!!' said *Whoever*.

Bad Guy:'Heh....I just wanted some extra cash, that's all.'

**Whoever* lifts his foot*

Bad Guy: 'Wait, don't you want to hear my last words?!'


*Whoever*:".........I just did."

If you can fit that in somewhere, I'm sure it woud help.
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Jawooooooooooo
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« Reply #110 on: 12 September, 2007, 10:10:46 am »

Hey, Jawo. Just to let you know, I've changed into a human-like dark knight instead of a kirby-like form. If it interferes at all with the story, then just keep it in the old way. I'll post a picture of what I look like now soon.

Anyways, it just keeps getting better. I can't wait for the next update.
It won't make a difference...
I portray everyone in a human-like fashion, anyway.

I highly appreciate being included in your story, Jawo'. =D

~JudgmentAngel and Adol_the_Red look at each other.
Adol: Uhh, rock-paper-scissors for it?


XD

Yea, I thought that one was worth chuckling over. ^_^

I have only one suggestion: Somehow put this in the story.....



"*And then *Whoever* made him bite the curb.*

'You murdered them.....YOU KILLED THEM ALL!!' said *Whoever*.

Bad Guy:'Heh....I just wanted some extra cash, that's all.'

**Whoever* lifts his foot*

Bad Guy: 'Wait, don't you want to hear my last words?!'


*Whoever*:".........I just did."

If you can fit that in somewhere, I'm sure it woud help.



I.....don't think that will work.... >_>
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« Reply #111 on: 14 September, 2007, 06:04:18 pm »

>=O!

I look lame... and helpless =(

Oh well.

I lol'd after I said something then it was like

Snaketheserpet: <Is knocked out>

XD
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« Reply #112 on: 14 September, 2007, 10:34:43 pm »

Hey, Jawo. Just to let you know, I've changed into a human-like dark knight instead of a kirby-like form. If it interferes at all with the story, then just keep it in the old way. I'll post a picture of what I look like now soon.

Anyways, it just keeps getting better. I can't wait for the next update.
It won't make a difference...
I portray everyone in a human-like fashion, anyway.

I highly appreciate being included in your story, Jawo'. =D

~JudgmentAngel and Adol_the_Red look at each other.
Adol: Uhh, rock-paper-scissors for it?


XD

Yea, I thought that one was worth chuckling over. ^_^

I have only one suggestion: Somehow put this in the story.....



"*And then *Whoever* made him bite the curb.*

'You murdered them.....YOU KILLED THEM ALL!!' said *Whoever*.

Bad Guy:'Heh....I just wanted some extra cash, that's all.'

**Whoever* lifts his foot*

Bad Guy: 'Wait, don't you want to hear my last words?!'


*Whoever*:".........I just did."

If you can fit that in somewhere, I'm sure it woud help.



I.....don't think that will work.... >_>

You're right, it would  Smiley
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« Reply #113 on: 15 September, 2007, 08:59:35 pm »

Finish your work! I wanna find out the plan!
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« Reply #114 on: 25 September, 2007, 01:06:32 pm »

sorry, it's just so damn hard to get my idea on paper...
I added another segment to the chapter at least.... Undecided
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DB maybe?


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« Reply #115 on: 25 September, 2007, 07:15:14 pm »

Yeah, It can be difficult...

Anyway, someone's gonna end up with a lotta bullets.
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wat why are my fruit fighting i dont even get back in the fridge or meet a blendery death - TML
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« Reply #116 on: 29 September, 2007, 02:21:27 pm »

I still love this story! MOAR NAO! (just don't hurt yourself).
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« Reply #117 on: 04 October, 2007, 06:57:40 pm »

...Awesome, yet again.
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This is an intense, heart pounding adventure! | Internet Antagonist, Prince Silly, The Bazle
Quote from: Jawo'
Stop riding my crotch, please. I don't even know who you are.


wat why are my fruit fighting i dont even get back in the fridge or meet a blendery death - TML
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« Reply #118 on: 06 October, 2007, 09:03:44 pm »

Lawl, Sasori's a gangster.
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« Reply #119 on: 26 October, 2007, 12:31:45 pm »

I forgot about this, I need to start reading it again.
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But... if our leaders actually reflected the wants of the people... then we'd be a democracy, and that's just gross.
Stalin was that **** guy who pops the ball during a basketball game and ruins it for everyone.
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