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Kill Mario

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Author Topic: Kill Mario  (Read 817 times)
Spring; the season your dreams take place in
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« on: 23 November, 2007, 04:41:58 pm »

Bride: *gasping, bloodied on the ground*

Mario: Do you'- find me sadistic?

*wipes her face wih a handkerchief that has a mushroom patch on it*

Mario: You-a know, I bet-a I could fry an egg on your-a head right now, if I-a wanted to.....

*stops wiping her face*

Bride: *still gasping*

Now Princess......I'd-a like to-a believe that your-a aware enough, even now, to know that there-a is-a nothing sadistic in-a my-a actions.

*starts touching her face*

Mario:.....maybe towards-a those other jokers.....but-a not-a you.

*sounds of him standing up, sounds of a fireflower powerup are heard*

Mario: No Princess, this-a is-a me at my most masochistic.

Bride:.....Mario.......it's your baby-*BLIP*

*Delfino Plaza music starts to play*

« Last Edit: 14 August, 2009, 01:08:50 am by Dual Wielding » Report Spam   Logged

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Spring; the season your dreams take place in
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« Reply #1 on: 23 November, 2007, 04:42:38 pm »

World 1-3

*The Bride pulls up on Wario's motorcycle, looks at her "Death List Five" to see Zelda's name crossed off, walks up to a quaint little house in the middle of Corneria's suburbs, she knocks on the door*

Krystal: Oh, hello! What can I do for yo-

*they recognize each other, The Bride gets a flashback of Krystal beating the crap out of her;The Bride punches her in the face*

Krystal: *gack!!*

*The Bride advances with a series of blows which Krystal mangaes to block, Krystal grabs The Bride and throws her into the glass picture frame behind her, Krystal runs into the living room as The Bride gets up after her*

The Bride:.....hah.......

*The Bride runs forward, Krystal grabs her and throws her through a glass table as she picks up a broken table leg, The Bride staggers up and blocks the table leg with a fire-place poker, The Bride kicks Krystal in the stomach back into the kitchen*

Krystal: *hurk!!*

*The Bride goes around the corner after her just as Krystal swings at her with staff that she got from the kitchen, The Bride dodges it a few times and falls back onto a table, Krystal stabs at her, but misses, the end goes through the table as The Bride rolls under it and kicks her backwards into the living room as The Bride pulls a frying pan from out of nowhere*

Children: Yayayyy!!!

*The two fighters glance out the window at a school bus pulling up in front of the house, Krystal, without speaking, looks at The Bride in a pleading way, The Bride hesitates, grimacing, but nods as she and Krystal both hide their weapons behind their backs, a kid walks in*

Marcus: Mom, I'm hom- *sees the destruction*.....what happened?

Krystal: Oh, hey baby!! You see, that dog of yours came in here and acted a damn fool!

Marcus: *steps forward* Andy did this?

Krystal: Now, be careful baby, there's broken glass in here, and I wouldn't want you to cut yourself.

Marcus: *looking at The Bride* Who's that?

Krystal: Yeah......her name's *coin-get sound*

The Bride: I'm a friend of your mom's. How old are you?

Marcus: I'm four.

The Bride: Huh. I had a kid.....he would've been four by now.....

*Krystal tells Marcus to go upstairs, turns to The Bride*

Krystal: You want some coffee?

*continued in next post*
« Last Edit: 14 August, 2009, 01:13:23 am by Dual Wielding » Report Spam   Logged

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« Reply #2 on: 23 November, 2007, 04:43:03 pm »

The Bride: Sure.....

*they go into the kitchen, Krystal starts making coffee*

Krystal: Look, I know we messed you up. We messed you up bad.

The Bride: Oh really?

Krystal: Yeah, really......you have every right to want to get revenge, but I need to know if you're gonna start anything in front of my little baby!!

The Bride: Don't worry.....I'm not going to murder you in front of your son.

Krystal: Look, I know what I did to you before was wrong, but I assure you I am a different person now.

The Bride:.....I don't care.

Krystal: *grabs a pic of Marcus off of the refrigerator* Be that as it may, I know that I do not deserve your mercy or your forgiveness, but I beseech you for both on behalf of my son! *shows The Bride the pic*

The Bride:......you *****. You and I have unfinished business, and nothing's going to change that. Not parading your kid around in front of me or getting knocked up during the four years I was gone.

Krystal:....fine. There's a Arwing training grounds that our kids go to every weekend. We'll meet in the middle of the night and have us a stand-off.

The Bride: Splendid. If you want to use your staff, that's fine by me.

Krystal: *reaches for a box of Lylat-O's* Very funny *****, real ****in' funny!!

*Krystal fires a blaster that was hidden inside the cereal box, she misses and The Bride drops then kicks her cup of coffee at Krystal, distracting her; The Bride pulls out her frying pan and throws it into Krystal's forehead, killing her; her body slides down the cabinet and hits the floor*

The Bride: *sigh*

*The Bride walks up to Krystal's body, picks up her frying pan and turns around; Marcus is standing in the doorway*

The Bride:.......... It was not my intention to do this in front of you. For that I'm sorry. But you can take my word for it....... your mother had it coming. When you grow up, if you still feel raw about it....... I'll be waiting.

*The Bride walks past Marcus, walks outside and gets on Wario's bike, she sits there for a moment, then takes out her list and crosses Krystal's name off, she then drives off*
« Last Edit: 14 August, 2009, 01:12:59 am by Dual Wielding » Report Spam   Logged

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« Reply #3 on: 23 November, 2007, 06:55:30 pm »

World 1-2

*four years earlier, at the church in Mushroom Kingdom, a cart pulls up and Toadsworth is wearing a pai of aviator sunglasses, he gets out and walks up to the church, there are other toad officers walking around the church*

Toadsworth: Well, give the bloody new, my number one.

Toad: It's a goddamn massacre, pop. They took out the whole wedding party execution style.

Toadsworth: Give me a figure.

Toad: Nine bodies all together. Everyone was done in. And I'm talking the bride, groom, reverend......reveren's wife....and even the ol' Shy guy that played the piano.....

Toadsworth: Huh, seems like someone objected to this union and couldn't hold their "piece".......

*they step inside and see the bodies*

Toadsworth:.....Gooooood grab-stars......

Toad: What I tell ya, pop? It's a regular "Pichu vs. 100 Cruel Melee Death Squad".

Toadsworth: Better ****can that blasphemy, boy. You in a house of worship. *looks at the bodies* I'd say it was professionals. Four, maybe five strong....

Toad: What makes you say that?

Toadsworth: All the color was kept in the lines. This ain't the work of no squirlley amateurs. This is the work of some salty dogs....If you were a moron, you could almost admire it.

*Toadsworth leans over The Bride's body*

What's the bride's name?

Toad: We don't know. the transcript says "Pauline". That's a fake.....

Toadsworth: Huh, she was pregnent. Man'd have to be crazy to throw a fireball at a girl's head who's a pretty as this. Yellow-blond hair......big, doe-eyes......and nice, round...

*The Bride suddenly spits in his face, a reflex*

Toadsworth: Son number one?


Toadsworth: This tall drink of koopa-sucker ain't dead.....

*cont. in next post*
« Last Edit: 14 August, 2009, 01:14:11 am by Dual Wielding » Report Spam   Logged

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« Reply #4 on: 23 November, 2007, 07:31:32 pm »

*in the Mushroom Kingdom hospital, The Bride lies in a bed in a coma, a woman walks into the hospital wearing a skin-tight, all white suit and an eye-patch over her right eye*

Woman: *begins to whistle this song: http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/music/music03.html *

*she continues to whistle as she walks into a back room of the hospital where medicines and various supplies are kept, she finds a Poison Mushroom and draws some of the poison from it with a syringe, she then places the syringe on a tray and carries it to The Bride's room*


Code Name: SR388 Mountain Metroid

*Samus walks into The Bride's room, checks to see if she's still breathing*

Samus:.......I may never have liked you. Point in fact: I despise you. But that should never suggest that I don't respect you.

*She takes the syringe and inserts it into The Bride's I.V.*

Samus: Dying in our sleep is a luxury that our kind is rarely afforded. My gift to you.

*Samus is about to inject the poison into The Bride when her phone rings, she stops and answers it*

Samus: *sigh* Hello Mario.

*Mario is siting in a low-lighted area with a abnormally long Beam Sword*

Mario: What is-a her condition?

Samus: Comatose.....

Mario: Where-a is she?

Samus: I'm right next to her....

Mario: Way to go......

Samus: *giggles softly*

Mario: Samus, you're-a going to abort the-a mission.

Samus: WHAT?!?!?

Mario: We-a owe her better than that.

Samus: We don't owe her ****!!!

Mario: Will-a you keep your voice-a down?

Samus: *whispering* you don't owe her ****!

Mario: Look, you-a guys bet the crap-a outta that woman, and I put a fireball to her head. We did a hell of a lotta thing to that-a woman, and if she-a ever wakes up, we'll do a hell of a lot more.

*Mario grips the Beam Sword, pulls it part-way out of it's sheath*

Mario: but one thing that we won't do, is sneak into her room in-a the middle of-a the night and kill her in her sleep, like a filthy Pichu.

*he pushes the sword back into the sheath*

Because that would lower us. Okey-dokey?


Mario: So, we-a are-a clear on all this?


Mario: Alright.......I love you!

Samus: I love you too......*hangs up, and turns to The Bride, still in a coma* thought that was pretty freakin' funny, huh? A word of advice, 'shroom head: Don't you ever wake up.

*cont.* in next post*
« Last Edit: 14 August, 2009, 01:15:12 am by Dual Wielding » Report Spam   Logged

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« Reply #5 on: 23 November, 2007, 10:09:15 pm »

*four years later, The Bride is still in her hospital bed, a tiny koopa-bug lands on her face and begins to suck blood from her when The Bride suddenly awakens to find herself alone in a hospital room, she gets a flashback of the day she was put into a coma*

*sounds of him standing up, sounds of a fireflower power-up are heard*

Mario: No Princess, this-a is-a me at my most masochistic.

The Bride:.....Mario.......it's your baby-*BLIP*

*she is shaken as she reaches up to her head to feel where the fireball hit her, she then reaches down to feel her stomach, which no longer has the baby that she remembers inside, she begins to cry as realization strikes her, but she is cut short by the sounds of footsteps approaching her room; she immediately falls back in bed and slows her heart rate as two people walk in*

Wario: Alright my friend, here she is. Are those the nicest mushrooms you've ever seen or are those the nicest mushrooms you've eva seen???

*Wario leads another man inside the room and motions to The Bride's supposedly unconscious body*

Waluigi: I've seen better.

Wario: Whatever.....it's 75 coins per go, my friend. You gettin' your freak on, or what?

*Waluigi hands Wario a bag of coins, Wario counts it*

Wario: Oh yeah, I got some ground rules for ya.

1. Press A to charge your laser.

2. No leaving any marks of any kind. If the nurse sees bruises, the jig is up. Got it?

Waluigi: Heh heh.....yeah.

Wario: Alright. *turns to walk out, remembers something* Oh yeah, that chick's plumbing can get pretty out of wack, so take this if you need some.

*Wario tosses Waluigi a banana peel*

Wario:......yeah. I'll be back in twenty. *he leaves*

Waluigi: Well well.....I've been looking forward to this......

*he goes to kiss her, The Bride springs into action and bites Waluigi's lip and........yeah.......The Bride throws his body off of her; she tries to get out of bed and falls, realizing that her legs had atrophied while she was in a coma, she then hears more footsteps; she grabs a scalpel, crawls, and waits beside the door, Wario walks in*

Wario: Hey buddy, times up, you gotta-*sees Waluigi's destroyed body and the empty bed*........Holy ****.......

*The Bride cuts the Achilles tendon in his foot, Wario falls to the floor and she pushes his head into the doorway*

The Bride: Where's Mario!?

*cont. in next post*
« Last Edit: 14 August, 2009, 01:16:22 am by Dual Wielding » Report Spam   Logged

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« Reply #6 on: 23 November, 2007, 10:10:17 pm »

*she slams Wario's head between the door and the door-frame, hard*

Wario: Gahh!!

The Bride: Where's Mario!?

*she slams his head in the door again, even harder*

Wario: Gnn!! Please stop hitting me.....

The Bride: Where's Mario?!

Wario: I don't know no Mario.......

The Bride: Then who are you???
*The Bride gets a flashback from when she was in a coma, and sees Wario standing in front of her bed*

Wario: Why hello there, sweet thang......I'm from south-central Mush. Kingdom......my name is Wario, and I came here to ********........

*The Bride then turns back to Wario who is crying in pain*

The Bride:..........your name's Wario, right?

*Wario gulps*

The Bride:......and you came here to ********, right?

Wario: No, wait a sec-

*The Brideslams Wario's head so hard in the door, he turns into Concussion Wario, The Bride takes his keys (with a key chain that says "WW" and a wheelchair, then wheels herself to the parking garage*

The Bride: huff......huff.....huh?

*she see a motorcycle that has the same "WW" emblem on it, she climbs onto it with great effort*

The Bride: Looking at her limp legs*.........wiggle your big toe.

*her toe does not move*

The Bride: Wiggle your big toe.

The Bride (voiceover): As I sat on Wario's bike trying to sill my limbs out of entropy,I could see the faces of the punks who did this to me, and the jerks responsible, which brings me to my first target.

*The Bride sees a flashback of four of the people who assaulted her on her wedding day, she focuses on the one on the far left*

Her name is Zelda. She will be the first one I go after because she will be the easiest to track down. Well, when one becomes the queen of the Hyrulian underground, one hardly keeps that to oneself, now does one?


Code Name: Darknut
« Last Edit: 14 August, 2009, 01:17:50 am by Dual Wielding » Report Spam   Logged

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