5BASS
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I wish I could see this show. >.>
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Proud owner of the "First Person To Leave Dmax Speechless" Badge
Current mood is disappointed because I thought I saw the option to be "intoxicated"...
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Esh
Ultimate Being
Offline
Mood: Tsundere
Posts: 16,777,190
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Try finding stuff on the internet bass.
K: It's a red and white striped golfing umbrella!
L: You can do it!
K: No I can't, now if you'll excuse me I've gotta take the penguin for a walk.
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~esh
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HylianFox
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L: You're gonna blame me for this, aren't ya?
K: Yes. If it weren't for you and you bananas and apples and aardvarks we would've never gotten into this mess. You sir, are a complete and total smeg head.
L: Brutal, Kryten! You just insulted me!
K: Yes. I can lie, cheat and be thoroughly unpleasant now.
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HylianFox
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I've been a complete and total polaroid head.
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Esh
Ultimate Being
Offline
Mood: Tsundere
Posts: 16,777,190
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No electrical appliance should ever give a human being a double polaroid!
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~esh
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HylianFox
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It was a triple-bag easy-glide vac with turbo-suction and a self-emptying dustbag.
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Esh
Ultimate Being
Offline
Mood: Tsundere
Posts: 16,777,190
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K: My nipples don't work.
L: What do you mean don't work?
K: Well before the left nipple-nut was used to regulate body temperature while the right was tune my f.m. radio. Now no matter how hard I twist it I can't seem to pick up jazz f.m.
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~esh
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HylianFox
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Hey listen, listen, I've got a joke for you. Now, how many mechanoids does it take to change a lightbulb?
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Esh
Ultimate Being
Offline
Mood: Tsundere
Posts: 16,777,190
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12!
Because they're so stupid!
Here's another, ever hear of the mechanoid peeping tom?
*looks at "self"*
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~esh
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HylianFox
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Yeah, I know what I did wrong last time. It's a mistake any deranged half-witted computer could have made.
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Esh
Ultimate Being
Offline
Mood: Tsundere
Posts: 16,777,190
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Rimmer: Ahh smeg, aliens, they probably want to return glen miller.
*****
Rimmer(on intercom): We don't want him, you took him you can keep the bugger.
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~esh
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Esh
Ultimate Being
Offline
Mood: Tsundere
Posts: 16,777,190
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K: Does anyone hear anything?
L: No?
K: And do you know why we can't hear anything?
L: Why?
K: Because there are no sounds to hear!
R: Kyten, isn't it this time of the year your head goes down to the lab for examining?
Additional: Hey bass found anything yet?
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~esh
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HylianFox
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H: Busy, Dave?
L: Well, yeah, I am, actually!
H: Oh. Then you won't want to know about the two super-lightspeed fighters that are tracking us.
L: What?!
H: I'll leave you to your bubble blowing, mate.
L: No, Holly. Hol. Come on.
H: They're from Earth.
L: That's three million years away.
H: They're from the NorWEB Federation.
L: What's that?
H: NorthWestern Electricity Board. They want you, Dave.
L: Me? Why? What for?
H: For your crimes against humanity.
L: You what?!
H: Seems when you left Earth, three million years ago, you left two half-eaten German sausages on a plate in your kitchen.
L: Did I?
HY: You know what happens to sausages left unattended for three million years?
L: Yeah, they go mouldy.
H: Your sausages, Dave, now cover seven-eighths of the Earth's surface. Also, you left seventeen pounds, fifty pence in your bank account. Thanks to compound interest you now own 98% of all the world's wealth. And because you hoarded it for three million years, nobody's got any money except for you and NorWEB.
L: Why NorWEB?
H: You left a light on in the bathroom. I've got a final demand here for one hundred and eighty billion pounds.
L: A hundred and eighty billion pounds?!! You're kidding!
H: (Wearing a Grouch-Marx glasses-nose-and-moustache) April Fool.
L: But it's not April!
H: Yeah, I know. But I can't be waiting six months with a red-hot jape like that underneath me hat.
L: So you just made it all up, then?
H: Yeah. Bit of excitement for a while, wasn't it? You can't beat a good wheeze. Huhu!
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HylianFox
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« Reply #88 on: 06 August, 2007, 04:23:11 pm » |
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This is not a daffodil! Repeat: THIS IS NOT A DAFFODIL!!
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the poncho
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« Reply #89 on: 06 August, 2007, 04:32:26 pm » |
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*walks in*
*guns down every thing with his dual Uzis he stole from the TIA Mansion*
*leaves*
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