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Don't credit me for this: This is Shryver's work on GameFAQS. (YOU CAN POST NOW)

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Author Topic: Don't credit me for this: This is Shryver's work on GameFAQS. (YOU CAN POST NOW)  (Read 1991 times)
SilverEspio
Amidoinitrite?
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What's up? I'm back.


« on: 29 January, 2008, 09:56:06 pm »

(Somber silence.)

Nana: But, hey, there's still a whole month before we start Brawl! Why are we getting so down, now?

Y. Link: You're right! We shouldn't be sad. Certainly not yet! Tomorrow, we'll show everyone that we can still enjoy our time together!

Pikachu: Pika-pi! Pikachu!

Kirby: {He said that it's settled. Tomorrow!}

Y. Link: Well, we ought to get to sleep, then! Good night, all.

Ness: Good night.

Popo/Nana: Good night.

Pichu: Chu!

Pikachu: Pika!

Jigglypuff: Puff!

(Jigglypuff sings them all to sleep, then falls asleep herself.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Mewtwo is lounging in his favorite tree. He has foregone an actual room, since he believes he would be stronger if he stays closer to nature. Ganondorf walks under the branch Mewtwo is on.) Note: Anything in between the<> means psychic talk.

Mewtwo: <Ganondorf, it's late. Why are you not in your tower? Wait, I can tell. It's Mario, isn't it?>

Ganondorf: Mm. I will actually regret seeing him go. He may be old, but he's still very strong. It will be hard to let go of such an opponent.

Mewtwo: <True. He is still strong. However, I could sense it in him. On the outside, he has quite a bit of energy, but on the inside... he's slowing down. Pretty soon, it's going to have an impact on his physical state. He probably sensed that in himself, and decided he'd had enough.>

(Ganondorf just nods. A quiet pervades for a while.)

Ganondorf: Well, there's no reason for anything to change, between us. When all this is over, would you consider committing random evil deeds, with me?

(Mewtwo smiles at the moon)

Mewtwo: <It'd be an honor to work with such a great evil being, such as yourself.>

(More silence.)

Ganondorf: Mewtwo, there's something I'd like to ask you about. I felt something odd, earlier, right after Mario told us of his retirement.

Mewtwo: <Does this by any chance have anything to do with Peach and Bowser?>

Ganondorf: Right. I'm pretty sure I felt something coming from those two, and it was different from the shock the rest of us had. I saw the look on their faces, and it sure as hell wasn't shock.

Mewtwo: <You're right, they didn't seem surprised. At least, not completely. The problem is, Bowser has a thick skull, and I only had a second to look in his mind before the feeling was gone. Also... I have a policy against reading a woman's mind... I usually find things I'm not ready to encounter.>

Ganondorf: What? You have a problem with- No, never mind. Did you find anything, at all?

Mewtwo: <I got a pretty strong emotional whiff from Peach, and it closely matched the emotion I got out of Bowser. However... I'm not sure if you'd like to hear it.>

Ganondorf: What, you think I can't handle it? I've felt all kinds of sorrow and pain, in my life. I don't think there's anything I can't handle.

Mewtwo: (sigh) <Alright. Don't say I didn't warn you, though. I got a few mixed emotions, between the two of them, that weren't disbelief. As near as I can place it... is felt like some kind of fear, some shame, even guilt.>

Ganondorf: Fear? Shame? Guilt? (pause) You know what this means, right?

Mewtwo: <I have a vague idea. Remember, I do not know much about "that" sort of thing, but, yes, I know..>

Ganondorf: ..... You're right, I'm not sure if I wanted to know.

(More silence.)

Ganondorf: I think that's all I need. See you tomorrow for training?

Mewtwo: <I'll be there.>

(Mewtwo closes his eyes for sleep, and Ganondorf walks off to his tower.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Fox and Meta-Knight are sitting quietly at a pair of stations next to the pilot's seat on the Great Fox. In the pilot's seat is Falco. Fox and Falco are giving MK a lift back to Pop-Star, so MK could pick up his Halberd and get it ready for Brawl. All three are completely silent.)

All three: ............. (more silence)...

MK: So, what's Mario like? I've heard of him through Kirby, but I can't trust what he says, very much.

(Fox takes a deep breath, and glances at Falco. Falco indicates that Fox should take care of it.)

Fox: I don't think I've ever seen that guy do anything wrong, in every sense of the word. I've never seen him be mean, not a single prank, or anything. Not only that, he also never messes up. Everything he touches seems to go right. Except computers. (chuckle) Mario's a huge technophobe. I once put him in an Arwing, and he was looking at me like I just betrayed him to all his friends, or something. I've never seen someone so scared in my life.

Falco: I remember that. I swear, his mustache was standing on end when he landed. He actually kissed the ground, he was so happy to be back down.

(Meta-Knight and Fox both chuckle quietly.)

Falco: Really, though... He's one of the finest men I've had the honor to fight beside. He's one hell of a guy.

Fox: You know, Falco, when he actually leaves, we're going to have to give him a Team Fox farewell. What do you say? I'll fight you for the light show.

Falco: I've won every light show fight for the past five years. I'm telling you, Fox, your blaster is just too weak. I understand that you like the speed, but it's not nearly powerful enough to do you any real good.

MK: That's funny. I've won with a sword, no matter what kind of blaster I come up against. If it weren't for Kirby literally being born to be a warrior, I wouldn't have a rival in this universe.

(Falco and Fox look at each other, grinning)

Fox: Care to put that to the test, MK? We can put the ship on auto-pilot, and go down to the training area, if you want.

Falco: That is, if you're not a wuss who's going to back down.

MK: Gentlemen, I will write my name in your organs with my sword.

(They exit the bridge.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Snake, Luigi and Wario are sitting at a bar, drinking heavily. Wario is the most blasted of the three.)

Luigi: Whaat-a the hhhell is-a he thinkin'? Makin' me save-a the purncess? That's...-a just plain selfish is what it is!

Snake (he can hold his liquor best): You know what sucks the most? I wanted to fight that bastard with all my might. Now, I'm going to have to hold myself back, just because I know that this is the last time he's doing anything. Hey, that's it! He's just afraid of gettin' the crap beat out of him, and this is a trick to make us go easy on him! Well, it ain't workin' on this Brawler, nossir!

Wario (hanging from the ceiling): WEEEEEEE!!! I dind know my fingers couh curhl dat way!!! Hey! Whozzup for a game of "make Wario drunker?!"

Snake: Doesn't he have an accent, normally?

Luigi: Him? Yeah. Weird things happen to him when he gets-a wasted.

Wario: HEY! I'MUHNOT WASHTED, YOU ARE!! Damn... Mario... I fin'ly get my ssshhhance to pum'l that guhdy-guhdy, and he triesh to wimp out. COWURD, I BELLOW, COWURD!

Snake (lights up cigarrete): See? Wario agrees with me.

Luigi: Right now, Wario would agree with potted-a plant.

(Luigi suddenly bursts out in a fit of giggling. He downs another shot of tequila, and promptly blacks out. Wario loses his grip on the ceiling, and lands on top of Luigi, and starts snoring.)

Snake: Guh. Everyone at the mansion would be pissed at me if I left them.

(Snake lifts Luigi over one shoulder, and tucks Wario under his other arm.)

Snake: Gah, why is Wario so damn fat? Well, at least Luigi isn't so bad. Oh... heh, heh. Potted plant. You're a funny man, greeney.

(Snake walks out of the bar, carrying the snoring drunkards back to the mansion.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(DK and Yoshi are hanging out in an in-door jungle which serves as DK's room. Yoshi is running about in the open stretches of land, and DK is swinging about in the trees.

Yoshi: {They all seem really upset by Mario leaving. I don't really understand. After all, if they really want to, they can go see him any time they want.}

DK: {Yoshi, you live in the exact same world as him. You live close to Mario. The rest of us don't have that advantage. Everyone is sad because they aren't sure if they'll ever be able to see him again.}

Yoshi: {That's the other thing I don't get. Mario is actually making it sound like he's going into hiding, or something. You don't think he'd do that, do you, DK?}

(DK stops mid-swing, and hangs by one arm)

DK: ..... {I'm not sure. He seems really down about something else. Maybe he's sad because he feels that he's useless, because he's so old, or something.}

Yoshi: {Wow, DK, you're really smart. How come?}

DK: {It probably has something to do with you not being very bright, now doesn't it?}

Yoshi: {I guess. I know I'm not that smart, but I'm really happy, and I have lots of smart friends. So, I'm okay, right?

(DK pauses again. This time, he climbs down, and stands in front of Yoshi.)

DK: {Sure, pal. You'll be fine.}

Yoshi: {Hooray!}

(Yoshi starts Egg Rolling up and down a strip of land. DK goes back to swinging around in the trees.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time (gettin' to the end, folks.) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Mr. Game and Watch is sitting in his home in 2D world, enjoying a night of quiet.) Note: Private thought is signified by these +.

G&W (sips cocoa): +What a day... I don't think things are every going to be the same, ever. Of course, I've got at least 10 years on Mario... but, then again, I don't age, at all.+ (sips cocoa) +I guess there's nothing I can really do, though. They don't understand my language at all. Even Mewtwo wouldn't be able to communicate with me. My mind is on a level they simply aren't familiar enough with. It's a shame, really.+ (sips cocoa) +Ah, well. It'll be an even bigger day, tomorrow. I should get ready. I only hope the rest of us can think of what to do, with Mario gone.+

(G&W drains his cocoa, throws the mug against a wall, and goes to bed.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Captain Falcon is racing around Big Blue, on his home-world. He's all alone, and traveling down the road at top-speed. His breathing is agitated, and his face is twisted like he is growling.)

Falcon: That arrogant BASTARD!! Just like that. After so much. After we have ALL been through so much. Just like that! He leaves!? How dare he.... how dare he.... HOW DARE HE LEAVE!!!

(Suddenly, Falcon goes off a jump... but misses a tricky landing. He careens out of control, into a building in the city below. There's a large explosion.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time (almost done, praise the Lord) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Mario and Doc are sitting in the Doc's study. Mario has just told Doc about how Roy's accident came about.)

Doc: Are you joking? That's how it-a happened? That's so... so...

Mario: Stupid and anti-climactic?

Doc: RIGHT! Roy is-a walking around with a big plate of food, Kirby steals it because he's-a hungry, Roy gives chase, falls down some stairs, and lands on his head?

Mario: At least, that was Kirby's story. I'll check it against Roy's interpretation tomorrow. Hopefully, he'll at least be able to physically describe what happened. How long did you say until he gets back all his motor skills?

Doc: At least a week. However, you just brought up another-a point. I don't think you should ask him to try to act out what happened, especially so soon. Such a request could trigger a post-traumatic stress episode, and totally short-circuit his-a brain.

Mario: ......... I thought you were a physician.

Doc: I minored in psychology and-a phsysiology. I did my thesis for psychology on-a Tourette's syndrome. Did you know that not only is the swearing thing true, though it's-a very rare, there's an even rarer variant of the disorder that makes you make inappropriate gestures?

Mario: Hmm. I never-a knew that.

Doc: Nobody ever does. Damn movies only care about-a the swearing.

Mario: They're always like that. So, does Kirby's story help with Roy, at all?

Doc: I think it'll make things a bit easier, yes. If he took damage to other parts of his-a brain, they might be affecting his speech indirectly. One part of the brain could swelling up, but otherwise, isn't damaged. However, this-a swelling could certainly impact the other parts of-a the brain. I've been reading up since you brought him in, and I think I might be able to treat him better, now.

Mario: Excellent. Well, I have a feeling that tomorrow is-a going to be huge. We'd better get some sleep. See you in the morning.

Doc: Right. I'll keep studying a little more, though. I think I ran across something that could be particularly helpful, but I have to take another look.

Mario: Every bit helps.

(Mario exits. Doc hangs his head low.)

Doc: Dammit. I've done it again. All these false hopes. I know it'd be better for them if I didn't-a sugar-coat it. Why the hell can't I tell the truth?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Bowser and Peach are together in Bowser's Keep. Bowser is sitting in a throne-like chair, but Peach is pacing back and forth, a look of fear, shame, and guilt written all over her face. Bowser also looks worried, but is trying to remain calm. Peach is doing no such thing.)

Bowser: Peach, honey, you have to calm down. You can't think straight when you're panicking. How do you think I've been beaten by Mario so many times? Every time I see that look in his eye, I get scared.

Peach: Dammit, Bowser, I can't calm down! This has been going on for years, and now look what it's done to poor Mario! Oh, I knew this was going to happen. I just knew it!

Bowser: No, you didn't, dear-heart. None of us even considered Mario retiring. To be honest, I thought he'd end up dying trying to save you from me.

Peach: AND NOW HE IS!! HE'S DYING, ALL BECAUSE WE COULDN'T STAY AWAY FROM EACH OTHER!!! Oh, I've been such a fool, what was I thinking?! "Just keep kidnapping me," I said. "Mario will think you're the evil one, he saves me, and that's that!" How could I have been so stupid?!

Bowser: Peach, don't beat yourself up for it, it was a brilliant plan, and it did work. Do you think Mario would be in the shape he's in right now if he didn't have to save you every month? Hmm? If you ask me, I think we did him a favor.

Peach: WELL OF COURSE, YOU THOUGHT THAT!! YOU'RE JUST A DUMB REPTILE!!

Bowser: Peach... I'm trying to be calm about this. Please, don't provoke me. You don't want things ending up like they were in the beginning, do you?

Peach: .... (sigh).... I suppose you're right, dear. I'm sorry. You're a brilliant reptile.

Bowser: Damn straight. You know, I think it's a good thing that we did, you know? Who else can say they were saving 20-something princesses into their 50's? His mind's as sharp as a tack, strong enough to whup any ass, and doesn't look a day over 35. Now, he'll be able to live out the rest of his days telling everyone about all his stories.

Peach: Well... I suppose. I still think we were the ones who drove him to this, though.

Bowser: Come now, sweetie, we talked about this, already. The alternatives were just too ugly to consider. We would both become depressed, since our two kingdoms could never be one, and if we tried to tell everyone what we think of each other, my people would revolt, and your people would have a mass heart-attack!

Peach: I- I guess. No, you're right. Maybe what we did wasn't the right thing, but it was the best decision we could have made. Oh, this is why I love you! You know just what to say to me.

Bowser: But that's not all you love about me, is it?

Peach (a very naughty look in her eyes): Oh, no! Don't tell me you're going to ravage me like the brute you are? Anything but that, please!

(Peach and Bowser get kinky, and, well, you get the idea.)
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