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Don't credit me for this: This is Shryver's work on GameFAQS. (YOU CAN POST NOW)

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Author Topic: Don't credit me for this: This is Shryver's work on GameFAQS. (YOU CAN POST NOW)  (Read 1987 times)
SilverEspio
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What's up? I'm back.


« on: 29 January, 2008, 09:58:13 pm »

All around, the Brawlers are dealing with their own pain, in their own way. Unfortunately, it isn't long before they get more sad news.

(Pit and Zelda are laying in bed together, in each other's arms, naked as the day they were born.)

(Suddenly, Mewtwo busts in.)

Mewtwo: <Pit! Big news! Fal->

(Pit leaps out of bed, accidentally exposing himself and Zelda, but then trips on the covers, and falls onto the floor.)

Pit: Mewtwo! What's going on?! What's (looks down at naked self, then at naked Zelda)...... oh, balls.

(Very awkward silence.)

Mewtwo: ......... <I don't suppose you're going to put on some clothes, at some point, are you?>

Pit: (cough) Right, right. Of course (Starts pulling on toga.) So, uh, how's it going?

Mewtwo: <Aren't you forgetting something?>

Pit: Huh? OH!

(Pit gathers up and hands Zelda her clothes, then draws the curtain on his bed, giving her some privacy.)

Pit: Anyway, if you could just forget what you saw... you mentioned big news?

Mewtwo: <I'll never be able to get that image out of my head, thank you. Yes, there has been an accident with Captain Falcon. He's at a hospital in Mute City. We're not sure of his condition, at the moment. Doc is there, and he says he'll be back to tell us how he is a little after noon. For now, Mario has instructed that we should all go about our business, until then, when he'll call us all together.>

Pit: All right. Sounds like a plan. And, um...... you are going to keep this thing secret, right?

Mewtwo: <Remember, I'm evil. Most likely, I'll just hold this piece of information, and blackmail you, later. For now, though, you're secret is safe.>

(Mewtwo floats out of the room, laughing a quiet, evil laugh.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Meanwhile ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Wario and Luigi are sleeping, face down, on the floor in the Brawl rec room. Snake is over by an open window, lighting up. Samus is practicing at the pool table.)

Wario: Ugghhh. Why does my head feel like got sat on by Bowser? What happened?

Luigi: Please, don't breathe so loud. I'm-a trying to keep-a my brain from exploding through my eyeballs.

Snake: Oh, you two are finally up. Did you both know that you're total lightweights when it comes to drinking?

(Ness and Young Link walk in.)

Ness: Good morning, all!

Wario/Luigi: Uuurrgghhh!

Y. Link: What's with you two?

Snake: That's what happens when you don't go to bed on time. You're punished with big headaches.

Y. Link: Jeez! Ness, remind me to always go to bed on time, from now on, okay?

Ness: Yeah. I don't want to end up like those two.

(Y. Link and Ness walk out of the rec room, towards the mess hall.)

Samus: I didn't know you were good with children. I think you just scared them into never staying up later ever again.

Snake: Hey, I may be a jerk, sometimes, but I don't want them growing up wrong. I would think you'd know all about that.

(Samus twitches, and hops the cue-ball off the table. Wario and Luigi groan at the sound of the ball hitting the floor.)

Samus: ...... Yeah... I guess you're right. (picks up the ball) It's good to see that all the young ones are friends.... they'll need to support each other, as they grow..... (hits 3 balls into the pockets at once.)

Snake: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring up bad memories.

Samus: No problem. I've been dealing with it all my life. I'm used to it.

(Silence)

Samus: Can I have one of your those?

Snake: I didn't know you smoked. (tosses her the pack and lighter)

Samus: I don't. Well, not regularly. Gives me time to calm down and think. (Samus lights up, and takes a drag.)

Samus: Anyway.... what do you think we should do, without Mario? We can't just split up, after Brawl. The newcomers are good company..... for the most part.

(Samus glances at Wario, who is vomiting into a garbage can.)

Snake: Hmm, right..... Maybe we should have a meeting, or something, within the next few days. Just the Brawlers, no Mario. Hopefully, at least one of us will have a good idea, by then.

Samus: Oh, that reminds me, I've got to talk with Mario. I have a good idea for what he can do for the Mushroom Kingdom.

Snake: Well, don't let me keep you here.

(Samus exits the room.)

(Mr. Game&Watch walks in.)

G&W: BEEP BEEP! (pulls out bell) CLANG-CLANG-CLANG-CLANG!!

Wario/Luigi: GRAAAAAHHH!!

G&W: ...... BEEP?

Snake: They're a little sensitive, if you know what I mean. I think they'd appreciate it if you weren't so.... here.

G&W: Beep.

(G&W exits the room.)

Snake: I can already tell..... this is going to be one long-ass day.

(Mewtwo floats into the room.)

Mewtwo: <Big news, everyone!>

Luigi: GAAHH!! THE EVIL-A VOICE IS EATING MY BRAIN!

(Luigi collapses.)

(Pit and Zelda are walking through the halls of the Brawl Mansion, on their way to the mess hall.)

Pit: Zelda, I really don't think you have to worry about anything. Mewtwo isn't evil enough to go around spreading the truth about us. Besides, all I have to do is make him my friend... I could probably just feed him some of my ambrosia, and he'll become more than a little sedate. (pause) I think the only person we have to worry about is Link. I haven't seen him angry, but I imagine that's something I should be glad about.

Zelda: Oh, don't worry about him. We have the moral high ground, here. Besides, it's not like he ever really loved me, in the first place. Besides, if he even THINKS about getting angry...

Pit: Zelda, woah, settle.

Zelda: Oh, my. That was very unlike me, wasn't it? What I meant to say was that we don't have to worry about him, either.

Pit: Well, then... why are we trying to hide our love? Everyone around here is intelligent enough that they'd except us. They'd be surprised, sure, but I think they would all be fine with our relationship.

Zelda: Pit, I.... I just think we should maybe give it some time. It's never wise to rush into something like this.

Pit: Mm. Point. All right. We'll wait a few weeks, to let our relationship develop. If it looks good, then we'll tell everyone.

Zelda: Very good. For now, though, you're a good friend.

Pit: That's just fine with me.

(Pit and Zelda keep walking. Suddenly, Marth and Roy appear from around a corner.)

Zelda: Oh, hello, you two. How are you doing, Roy?

Pit: Erm... Zelda.... their hands.

(Zelda looks down, and notices that Marth and Roy are holding hands. Marth notices, and quickly pulls his hand away, hiding it under his cape.)

Zelda: .......... Hm.

Pit: Yeah...... wow.

(Awkward silence)

Pit: ...... Well.... See you around, you two.

(Zelda and Pit walk quickly past them.)

Zelda: You know what we just saw, right? Marth.... and Roy...

Pit: Yeah.... This is new..... Suddenly, I'm feeling pretty good about our relationship.

Zelda: Indeed. Then again, they might have someone to go back to, on their world, that they would want to keep this a secret from.

Pit: Yeah. It's not really bad, but... it's a little creepy, somehow.

Zelda: Because we're friends with them, and fight alongside them?

Pit: That's it. Well, no point in stalling. Shall we?

(Pit and Zelda continue on, towards the cafeteria.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Meanwhile ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(All the young ones have gathered in the mess hall. They're sitting at the large table made just for them.)

Ness: Is it just me, or does the cereal taste different?

Popo: It's not you. There's something funny with it.

(Peach walks by)

Peach: We got the low-sugar cereal. It's healthy!

(Peach walks away)

All the young ones: ...........

Kirby: {I've lost my appetite.}

Ness: Me too.

Y. Link: Yeah, me too.

Pichu: Pi-CHU.

Pikachu: Pi-kaaa

Jigglypuff: Jiggly!

(They all push away their cereal.)

Ness: Who's up for doughnuts?

All: Smiley

(Meanwhile, at the other side of the mess hall...)

DK: {I'm telling you, Yoshi, it's great up in the trees. Swinging around and around... that's what life's all about, I tell you. When you're in a jungle, you forget all your troubles.}

Yoshi: {I don't know... I still prefer a wide-open space. I love running around. And when I do my Egg Roll, I don't think there's anyone faster than me. It's really nice, having so much space to move.}

DK: {Whatever. Remember, I'm smarter than you, so I know what I'm talking about. Besides, you've never even been in a tree.}

Yoshi: {Oh, come on. You know that's because I'm not built for any sort of climbing. Do you think I can climb with these arms?}

DK (raised eyebrow): {Well.... I never thought of that. Maybe you're brighter than you think.}

Yoshi: {Nah. One time, I got hurt trying to climb a tree, and Mario told me that I'm just not meant to climb trees. He's so nice. I think anyone else would have made me climb again, just so they could laugh at me.}

DK: (cough) {I guess.... Hey, they set out the fruit. Wanna get some?}

Yoshi: {You bet!}

(Marth and Roy are in their room, waiting to be summoned to the Conference Room, so they could get the news of Falcon's condition.)

Marth: {Roy, what are we going to do? I love you, I really do... but I'm not sure if I want everyone to know about it, just yet. I know there's something going on between Pit and Zelda, it's just obvious, but we're different. (sigh) Roy, do you even understand what I'm saying?}

Roy: (gibberish)

Marth: {Dammit, can't you give me some sort of sign?}

(Roy leans in, and kisses Marth lightly on the lips.)

Marth: {I guess that's something. Don't worry, Roy. I'll do everything in my power to get your speech back. For now, though.... I think it's okay to just enjoy this.}

(Roy sits on Marth's lap and.... you get the idea.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Meanwhile ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Snake and Samus are in the rec room, having a round of pool.)

Snake: So, that's the story of your life? That's harsh.

Samus: Yeah, I suppose it's the kind of story that you only see in a soap opera.

Snake: ....... Yyyeeaahhh. (Snake sinks another ball.) You know, you're pretty good. But... (sinks yet another ball.) I'm better.

Samus: (giggle) That's because I haven't started using my little tricks, yet.

Snake: Oh? Like what? (Lines up another shot.)

Samus: (drops pool cue) Oops! Dropped my stick! (Bends over in "that way" and picks up stick.)

Snake: Urk! (Completely misses.) That's evil!

Samus: Just because I fight the bad guys, doesn't mean I'm all good. My turn. (Lines up shot.) Now... you're going to see how I earned money in my college years.

Snake: How much are you going to charge me? (Stupid grin.)

Samus: ...... (Skips the ball. It smacks into Snakes balls.)

Snake: Hurk! Why don't I have armor there? (Goes into that stance every guy does when they get it in the junk.)

(Suddenly, the PA comes on.)

Doc (over PA): Hello everyone! I'd like everyone to gather in-a the conference room, please. I have the condition of Captain Falcon, as well as another announcement.

Samus: ..... You know, I just realized that Mario and Doc sound exactly the same. So, how can we tell the difference between the two?

Snake (still in that stance): Who knows... and who cares? Let's just go.

Samus: Damn, you're pretty sensitive there, aren't you?

Snake: I'll say you won this game if you shut up.

Samus: Deal.

(Samus and Snake head to the Conference Room.)

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Meanwhile ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Ganondorf and Mewtwo are heading to the Conference Room.)

Mewtwo: <I'm getting the feeling that something big's going down. Something other than Falcon.>

Ganondorf: Of course something else is happening. He said that he has something else to say.

Mewtwo: <Yes... I know... that's what I mean. It isn't going to be small. They're going to have quite an impact on many of us, possibly all of us.>

Ganondorf: Whatever. I'll listen to what these people have to say. You just keep your mind on the other brawlers. You might get something. Pit seemed edgy when Zelda walked through the room, so make sure you pay extra attention to them.

Mewtwo: Oh, believe me, I won't have to pay attention to them... I know.

Ganondorf: Oh? What are you hiding?

Mewtwo: Sorry. I'm waiting for a need to blackmail them. Don't worry, though. I have a sneaking suspicion that they're going to make it obvious, soon enough.

Ganondorf: Mm. Whatever. Although, I'd like to have some ammo against Zelda, the next time I try to take over the world. No problem, I'll just capture her and torture her. I've been practicing my singing voice.

Mewtwo: You sing?

Ganondorf: No. That's what makes it torture.

(Mewtwo and Ganondorf evil laugh all the way to the Conference Room.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ In the Conference Room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(The brawlers are gathering in the Conference Room. It isn't until most of them walked in that the fact that there are extra chairs became apparent. Within minutes, all the characters had arrived, with no Falcon. Besides Falcon, there are 15 chairs empty.)

(Mario stands up and holds up his hand for silence. He gives a nod to Doc, then takes his seat.)

Doc: All right, now that everyone's here, I will tell you all about Captain-a Falcon. After that, Mario will speak, and then, I have-a something else to say. (Pause) He's alive, but very bed-ridden. I can say with much certainty that-a Captain Falcon will not be able to make it into Brawl.

(General "Oh, no"ing.)

Doc: Calm down, calm down. The physicians in Mute City and I have all agreed that Falcon will be back on his feet in a little under a year. A witness told us that this is how it happened: Falcon was racing alone along Big Blue at insane speeds, missed a landing, and hit a building in-a the city below. The size of the explosion... well... let's-a just say Falcon is-a lucky he's alive. At the moment, that's all I can tell you. Falcon is in a coma, and, to be honest, we don't know when... or if he'll wake up. I will let you all know the instant I learn of any changes.

(Mario: Thank you, Doc. This is very tragic for all of us, but I'm sure that Falcon wouldn't want us to slow down, just because of him. We must go on with Brawl. (Pause) So, I'd like to direct-a your attention to the fifteen unnamed seats. I have been told that a total of fifteen more characters have been added to our roster. I also know that of those fifteen, only two of them will come to us in-a the same way that Snake came to us. One other character seemed questionable, but it was-a decided, in the end, that he comes from our universe. I think you know him. I'd like-a to introduce the first newcomer to join us. My fellow brawlers, give a warm Brawl welcome to... Geno!

(Geno busts down the door, and steps into the Conference Room. All the brawlers applaud. Geno walks over next to Mario, crosses his arms, and nods at all of them.)

Geno: Thank you, thank you. It's very good to be on solid ground again. As Mario said before, what universe I come from is questionable. However, it has been decided that, since I am directly involved with Mario's world, I am of this universe. I look forward to being with you all. Also, I assure you that I will try my hardest to whup all of you. Now, Mario, which of these seats is mine?

Mario: You shall be in-a the seat there, next to Pikachu. If you would, please?

(Geno sits next to Pikachu.)

Pikachu: Pi pika! Pika pikachu.

Geno: It's very nice to meet you as well, Pikachu.

Pikachu: Pikaaa?

Geno: I am a being of a higher plane of existence. My mind can comprehend things that most cannot. Of course I can understand you. Hush, now. Doc is giving another announcement.

Pikachu: Pikaaa.... chu!

(Doc stands up and clears his throat.)

Doc: Now, I have another announcement, and this one will most likely affect all of you very much. I'd like to first say that it's-a been a pleasure and an honor to work with all of you, and- (suddenly, a cell-phone rings.) Oh! I'm-a so sorry. (Presses button on phone.) It's-a me! The Doctor! Yes? WHAT?! (all jump in their seat) .... I see.... Very well..... Yes. I'll come immediately. (Closes phone) I'm so sorry, everyone. It seems that Falcon is having some difficulties. I must go now.

Mario: Of course, Doc.

(Doc leaves the room)

Mario: Well.... Since it seems that no one else has anything else to say, I'd like-a to thank you all for coming. Now, if you'll excuse me, I do believe I feel a craving for a pizza-burger coming on.

(Mario leaves the room.)

(Some of the brawlers get up to leave.)

Samus: Ahem!

(All turn their attention to Samus, and they all take their seats again.)

Samus: I think now is as good a time as any to discuss the question I'm sure we have all been thinking. So, I'd like to ask all of you... What are we going to do without Mario?

Fox: Is there really any need for us to bring that up, so soon? I mean, we waited a month until after the first Smash Brothers, before considering Melee. I think it's way too early to consider such an important matter.

Samus: You're right. We did wait quite a while before talking about Melee. However, conditions are different from so long ago. We're going to have many more characters on our roster than ever, to think about. And, of course, there's the fact that we're going to be missing the administrative skills of Mario. When he was in charge of things, everything was done right. However, without him around, we can't waste any time, if we want our futures to be secure. Any questions?

(Silence. Then, Y. Link raises his hand.)

Y. Link: Miss Aran? Me and the guys think it would be a good idea to maybe think of a way to send off Mario. Some of us might have to say good-bye forever, and if it's going to be that way, we want to give him a big party to remember him.

(General nodding and agreement. Y. Link smiles, proud of himself, and taps his fist against Ness' fist.)

Ness (whispering to Y. Link): It worked! Now they'll never look down on us little ones again!

Samus: That's an excellent idea, boys. And, Fox, you're right. Perhaps it's still too early to be worrying about something so far off. Very well. We will plan Mario's farewell celebration.

Popo: Not before lunch!

(Laughter and good cheer is had by all. They file out of the room, and head for the mess hall.)
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