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Don't credit me for this: This is Shryver's work on GameFAQS. (YOU CAN POST NOW)

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Author Topic: Don't credit me for this: This is Shryver's work on GameFAQS. (YOU CAN POST NOW)  (Read 1987 times)
SilverEspio
Amidoinitrite?
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Posts: 618


What's up? I'm back.


« Reply #15 on: 29 January, 2008, 10:10:16 pm »

Ganondorf: +Is it just me, or is this a perfect plan? I don't see any way we can lose.+

Samus: +Indeed... Although, now that you said that, something will probably happen to ruin everything. Sorry, that's just how it works. Well, whatever. Come on, it's about time for lunch. Mario is going to have us gather in the conference room at one, by the way. That's when I'm going to bring out baby Yoshi.+

(Samus merciless coddles Yoshi.)

Ganondorf: ...... Mewtwo, could you give me a bit of mental agony? I need something less painful than watching this.

(It's a little before lunch, and Krystal is standing outside Link's room.)

Krystal: +Okay, girl. You can do this. You've faced the toughest of opponents, on more than one occasion. Surely, this won't be a deal. Right... here I go... right now...+

(Krystal takes a deep breath, and knocks.)

Link: Who'zit?

Krystal: ..... Link, I only want to talk. I know that I have wronged you, and I probably don't deserve your forgiveness, but I only want to tell you my side of the story.

...... (silence.)

Krystal: I see.... I guess.... that's it.

(Just as Krystal turns to leave, the door opens.)

Link: Sorry. I had to find a clean hat.

(After a very tense moment, Krystal enters Link's room.)

Krystal: Okay, Link. I'll just say what I want to say, and... after that, I accept however you feel about me.

Link: I don't want to hear about it.

Krystal: Link! Dammit, I only want to tell you-
Link: That you love me, and you apologize profusely for doing... what you did. Is that about right?

Krystal: I- er, that is... (ears droop) yes.

Link: (deep breath) You abducted me, even though you knew my memory was worsening. When I was so far gone, that I didn't remember anything more than a half-hour ago, you took me away from the life I knew, and turned me into someone completely different.

(Link stares right at Krystal. Her ears droop further, and she looks down at the floor.)

Link: You turned me into... well, I suppose you could say I was a pet. A child. Just some little thing to take pity on. You had the opportunity to do great good, by taking me to Argos, and I probably would have recovered, no harm done. Instead, you didn't. You wanted to fulfill your own desires.

Krystal: But, Link, I-
Link: No. I don't need to hear it. ... I eventually learned everything. I won't say from whom I learned it, but... I think I know all there needs to be known.

Krystal: Link... I'm so sorry.

Link: ... You loved me... You took care of me as if I were your own child, and you loved me as though I am the only other person in your life. Why? That's what I never found out... Why did you love me so much?

Krystal: It's because (sob) Because... you are the only other person! I could feel it. Every time you said you loved me, I just felt so... so right! I have never known true love, but your's was the truest love I have ever felt. That's why I loved you. I was returning what you felt for me.

(Much silence.)

Link: Of course... I... had forgotten about that part... I did love you, didn't I? Heh. It makes sense, all of a sudden. That's why I felt so awful when you left, weeping.

Krystal: So... you forgive me?

Link: More than that.

(Krystal and Link embrace... and kiss.)

Krystal: You realize this is one relationship that's just a little too creepy for the others to handle, right?

Link: Eh. Screw ‘em.

Krystal: Wait... What about your lovers in Hyrule?

Link: Again, screw ‘em. Now, since I called you mama.... it's time for you to call me "daddy."

Krystal: Eh? ... OH!

(It's another happy ending... Creepy, but happy.)

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Fox: Did you feel that?

Falco: What's that?

Fox: A disturbance in the Force. As if a million voices just cried out "What the hell!?"

EXE: It's a glitch in the Matrix.

Fox: What's the Matrix?

EXE: What's the Force?

Sonic: What's with the people around here? You're all just too dang weird.

MK: Hmph. That's what they all say, at first.

Fox: Meta Knight! Holy crap, where were you?

MK: I apologize for my absence. You see... Do you remember, a long time ago, in Mute City, that I was over the death of my wife?

Falco: Hm. I see. We understand, right, guys?

Marth: (Japanese)

EXE: Well, it's just great to have you back. You sure you alright?

MK: For now. Of course... something else might happen, in the future. Just wanted to warn you.

Roy: (confused Japanese)

EXE: He means it's possible for him to break down, in the future.

Sonic: Um.... What?

MK: Ah, you must be Sonic. It isn't anything to be concerned about. I... I haven't properly mourned the death of my wife. All my sorrow was triggered, and I'm afraid I went fairly catatonic. I didn't come out of it until just this morning.

Sonic: Ah, right, sorry. Didn't know.

MK: Not at all. I'm over it, now. However... I fear my fighting skills may have been dulled, from my inaction.

Falco: To the training room!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later, at lunch ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Samus: +So, when are we going to spring our little trap?+

Gardevoir: <Perhaps it would be wise to wait for all the new-comers to get here. After all, it's possible that, even though we are only short by three, one of those three could be a Giga-Smasher.>

Ganondorf: +Gardevoir is right. It would be dangerous to try this when all of the brawlers aren't even here. I imagine we'll see our final new-comer within the next couple days, or so.+

Snake: +Not only that, but we have to have everyone together, all at once.+

Samus: +Exactly. It may seem like a plan that can't lose, but there's always that one thing that we don't take into consideration. It would be best for us to keep risks to an absolute minimum. It's like when Ganondorf said that there's no way we can lose. It's Murphy's Law.+

Mewtwo: <Who the hell is Murphy?>

Ganondorf: +Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. In short, it means that any small, insignificant detail we miss could turn into our greatest threat.+

Samus: +Pretty much. Except, in this case, Murphy's Law was triggered by Ganondorf being dumb.+

Ganondorf:+Watch your tongue. It would be a simple matter to get rid of... oh, wait, that's right. You don't have anything precious to you, don't you?+

Snake: +That's enough, the both of you.+

Mewtwo: <Agreed. So unless there are any other pressing matters, I will cut off the connection.>

(Without hesitating, Mewtwo cuts off the connection. A few minutes later, the PA clicks on.)

Mario: Hello! I would like everyone to gather in-a the conference room, at one o'clock, for a very important announcement.

(The PA clicks off. Instantly, everyone starts talking.)

 Luigi: Is he going to bring in another-a new-comer? I kind of hope he doesn't.

Wario: Heh. Well, I bet he does!

Luigi: What are you betting? You're already buying for the rest of-a the week.

Wario: Yeah, well... Double or nothing!

Peach: Wario, do you have a gambling problem?

Wario: Say what? Nah, I have it all figured out.

Zelda: She means you have an addiction.

Luigi: The ladies have a point. You're-a betting way too much for it to be healthy.

Wario: What are you all talking about? I don't have an addiction to gambling. It's a safe bet!

All: .........

Peach: Besides, aren't you a treasure-hunter? What happened to all the treasure?

Wario: ..... Well, I had to pay off a debt to... a friend.

Luigi: You had to pay off a loan-a shark, who gave you money, so you could ****.

Wario: Dammit, I'm not addicted! I'll prove it to you! I bet you all that I can go a whole day- no, a whole week without betting!

All: ........

Zelda: You just made a bet that you won't bet. Tell me, do you listen to yourself?

Wario: ..... Oh, god... I've lost... so much.

Luigi: It's-a okay. At-a least you admitted it. Now, we can help you.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Finally, 1:00 rolls around ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Everyone, minus Ridley, for obvious reasons, has gathered in the conference room.)

Diddy: {Hey, DK, where's that big Ridley fellow?}

DK: {He's probably too busy being a "bad-ass" to be around any of us. Besides, I hear he's really scary. Like, make all the children cower, kind of scary.}

Diddy: {Whatever. You can take him, right, DK?}

DK: {I have no idea. Then again, if Vaati got beaten, who knows? Oh, shush. Mario's here.}

Mario: It's-a good to see you all here. Now... I would like to hand it over to Samus.

(General whispering. Samus gets up in front of them, and Snake heads out into the hall.)

Samus: Thank you, Mario. I've spent the better part of this morning, and last night, thinking of a way to break the news to you, and still have some of you... well, let's just say it took a lot of thought. So, I finally decided to say it like this.

(Pause. Deep breath.)

Samus: As I'm sure most of you know, a few of us were gone for a couple days. We had intended for longer, but... this came up. You see, Geno was called away from his vacation to Star Road, for an unusual wish. It turns out that, if someone wishes hard enough, that wish can travel very far. And, because that person wished so hard the wish simply HAD to be granted.

(Pause. Everyone looks vaguely confused.)

Samus: And, so, we had to cut our little trip short, because we had to travel to Mushroom Kingdom. Donkey Kong, it seems that your wish has come true. (deep breath) Snake?

 (Snake walks in, holding baby Yoshi, and hands him over to Samus. Everyone in the room exhibits general shock and outrage. However, there are a couple voices that ring out louder than the others.)

Peach/Zelda/Krystal: SO CUTE!

(Peach, Zelda and Krystal rush up to Samus, and start to mercilessly dote upon baby Yoshi. Everyone else just stare in absolute bafflement.)

Fox: What was that word, Falco?


Falco: Not in front of the children, Fox.

Snake: (cough) I think I should point out that this Yoshi is most certainly not the same Yoshi that... he's not the same Yoshi. This Yoshi is just a new-born, and he needs care from all of us, if he is to grow up right. Besides, it would be wrong of us to blame that (gestures at baby Yoshi, who is being tickled by Krystal's tail) for past crimes.

Samus: Hey, you stole my line!

Snake: What? It's a good line. So, what do you say? Shall we accept Yoshi? He can't be a brawler, now. But, in the future, he will fight alongside us, for sure.

(Silence... except for the sounds of the ladies completely losing it over Yoshi.)

Pit: (cough) Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I certainly can't get mad. I mean, if I tried, those women would rip me limb from limb.

Peach: And don't you forget it!

(And so, baby Yoshi is accepted by the brawlers, and it was decided that he should live with Donkey and Diddy Kong.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later, in the 2D world ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Geno: Well, it's good to see Yoshi being taken in by everyone.

G&W: Indeed. I've noticed that they are fairly easy-going, as a whole. I'm not sure why.

Geno: You know, I've noticed that, myself.

G&W: There's just one thing that puzzles me, though.

Geno: What's that?

G&W: Well... When you left us, after we retrieved Yoshi... Why?

Geno: Why did I leave you? ...... I made a promise that had to be kept. Don't worry. It's not like it's going to have a huge impact on you.

G&W: Hm. I suppose there's no chance of you telling me more, right?

Geno: Precisely. <Er, say, I never really found this out. Can The Deity hear us speaking normally, in the 2D realm?>

G&W: <You know, I'm not sure. I think we should keep up the psychic talk, just to be safe.>

Geno: <Hm. That would be for the best.> Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to keep my promise.

G&W: Right. Nice talkin' to ya. Oh, Geno?

Geno: Yeah?

G&W: If you ever try to pull a stunt like that, again, I will eviscerate you. I know you're body is just a doll, but I will make sure you feel pain.

(Geno just walks through the portal, back to the 3D world.)

Geno: <Serenade, can you hear me?>

Serenade: <Of course. What is it?>

Geno: <I have a body for you. A real body. Are you in my room?>

Serenade: <A body? For me? Really? I mean, yes. I am in your room, right now.>

Geno: <Excellent. I'll be there in a moment.>

(Geno heads off to his room.)

Geno: +Oh, man, she's going to love this thing I created for her. Either she'll love it, or she'll set me on fire.+

We join The Deity and Mario, somewhere in the mansion.)

TD: I admit, I think I believe Samus's story about Yoshi.

Mario: Hmph. Like it-a matters.

TD: Oh, father, why do you hate me, so?

Mario: Well, let's-a review: As soon as I leave, you will have total dominion over this planet. You're-a going to either destroy the brawlers, or turn them into slaves, for no reason at all. Not only that, but you beat me for-a the slightest thing.

TD: Oh, father, you know that last part's not true... Okay, yeah, it's true.

(The Deity knees Mario in the gut. Mario goes down. With his right hand, he instantly heals Mario. Mario slowly gets back to his feet.)

TD: .... You know, there's something that's been bothering me, for some time. Father... Why did you create me to look like this?

Mario: Like what?

TD: You know, like this? What were you thinking when you gave me this form?

http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/MM35_gallery/MM35_PG196.jpg

Mario: You really want to know? It's-a simple. I wasn't. I just chose your powers, and thought the image would just come naturally.

TD: I see... Well, I rather like this form. It fits my personality. Thank you.

(The Deity knees Mario in the gut, again.)

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Bowser is in his dungeon with Bowser Jr. and Peach. Bowser Jr. is showing off his latest masterpieces.)

Bowser Jr.: Well? What do you think of this one? I call it "Mario gets the crap kicked out of him!"

Bowser: HAW haw haw! Junior, this is great! But, who's this guy?

Junior: Dunno. I just saw him in a dream, and I thought it would be funny if he beat up Mario. Anyone beating up Mario is funny!

Peach: Sweetie, don't you think some of these are a little... violent?

Bowser: Nonsense! He's a chip off the old block! It's natural for a koopa to be aggressive. Honey, there's nothing to worry about.

Junior: Yeah, mama. Besides, he's strong. He can take a good beating.

Peach: Perhaps... you say you saw this awful thing in a dream?

Junior: Uh-huh. Ya wanna hear about it?

Peach: Sure.

Junior: Okay. So, I'm going through the halls of the mansion, and I find a door in the middle of the hall. I open it up, and I can see some weird tunnel of lights n' stuff. When I stepped through, I saw this guy, and he was talking about "the true brawl" or something like that. I thought he was a weirdo, but then, he said that he would be the ultimate victor, when Brawl starts. That's when I woke up.

(Silence.)

Junior: Weird, huh?

Peach: Mm. Bowser?

Bowser: Yeah... You, or me?

Peach: I'll do it.

Junior: Huh? What are you two talking about?

Peach: It's nothing, dear. Ooh, what's this one?

Junior: Oh, that's one that I made for Mario's farewell party. Do you like it?

Bowser: But... he looks all heroic!

Junior: I know. It hurt me to paint that.

Peach: Well, I for one think it's very nice. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for my yoga.

Bowser: Why? It's just stretching.

Peach: I know. But, it's stretching that you like.

Bowser: ..... Go to it, honey.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A little later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Samus: +I'm glad you came to us. But... how did you know?+

Peach: +Oh, please, dear. I'm not just some blonde, you know. Besides, how do you think I became princess? It wasn't because of blood, I can tell you that. I could tell that you all are involved in something heavy. Anyway, do you think it could mean something?+

Geno: +Hang on, a moment.+ <Game&Watch, do you actually know what The Deity looks like?>

G&W: <I'm surprised you didn't ask, earlier. But, I don't know what he looks like. Although, the way Peach described him, it does sort of fit, doesn't it? A faceless evil has, well, no face.>

Geno: <I see.> +He didn't know. I guess that, for now, this is the image we'll use.+

Samus: +Right. Now, from what Bowser Junior said, what conclusions can we draw? Certainly, there's something else, other than just taking over this world+

Peach: +Hang on, I'm not sure if I got the whole story.+

Ganondorf: +Don't worry. I'll fill her in.+

(Ganondorf tells Peach the short version of the situation.)

Peach: ..... +Balls.+

Mewtwo: <Balls, indeed. Well, now we know when he's going to make his move. This is actually very helpful for us. If the part about him striking on the day of Brawl is true... that gives us ten days, to do something.>

Snake: +Plenty of time. We can make our move pretty much any time we want. All we have to do is call everyone together, pretend it's one of our meetings, and then hand out the Giga-Smash coins. Simple enough, I think.+

Ganondorf: +Perhaps. However, I think it would be best to be cautious. Let's take some more time, with this. After all, we only get one shot at this.+

Samus: +True. Alright, everyone. I think that's enough, for now. Peach, thank you for bringing this to us. But, if I may ask, why did you?+

Peach: +You are, technically, the leader now, right? Anything that obviously prophetic had to be reported.+

(And so, they all went their separate ways. Ganondorf and Mewtwo are walking the halls, until...)

Vaati: Hey.

Ganondorf: Oh, joy, it's the Purple Pe-.
Mewtwo: <Go away, Vaati. Now is not the time.>

Ganondorf: Wrong. Now is a very good time. I assume you want me to whup your ass?

Vaati: Hardly. I have some information for you.

Mewtwo: <What kind of information, and why should we care?>

Vaati: +It's the kind that is normally kept secret.+

Ganondorf: What's with the silent treatment?

Mewtwo: <He isn't being silent. He's thinking his answer. He said it's the kind that we would like to keep secret.>

Ganondorf: Interesting. However, you're going to have to be a bit more specific, if we're going to be listening.

Vaati: I'll tell you what. Let's you and me fight. Have that battle that I'm sure you've been so looking forward to. And, to make it interesting, we'll each put something on the line. If I win, I get your tower. If you win, I'll tell you what I know.

Ganondorf: No deal.

Mewtwo: <Wait, Ganondorf. This might actually be something we want to know. Tell me, Vaati... does your information have something to do with... a very powerful being? Perhaps it involves a diabolical plan?>

Vaati: That sounds about right. So, will you fight me, Ganondorf?

Ganondorf: ..... Fine. I'll explain the rules, on the way.

(They head towards the training rooms.)

Vaati: Rules? Don't tell me your trying to wuss things up?

Ganondorf: Hardly. I just want to make sure you don't cheat. It's simple. No god-moding, no crowding, no move-spamming, and never, ever hit below the belt. If any of these rules are broken, Mewtwo will give you mental agony, and that goes for the both of us.

Vaati: Tuh. You know you just took all the fun out of it.

Ganondorf: Perhaps. Then again, I don't care.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ One very, very painful battle later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Vaati: (Insert copious swearing here.)

Ganondorf: YYYEEEAEAEAAAAHHH!!! IN YOUR *&^%ING FACE, *&^%-WAD!!!

Mewtwo: <Vaati, you have lost, fair and square. Now, what did you have to tell us?>

Vaati: NO! I refuse! Dammit, he cheated, and I know it! He's not following his own rules!

Mewtwo: <Nice try, but I think you'll recall spamming your dark energy bolts, and I didn't give you mental agony. I was nice to you, and you still lost.>

 Vaati: (A little more swearing.) Fine! Alright, here's what I know. +This guy... he's gathering minions. I know this, because he tried to enlist me.+

Ganondorf: +What? He's.... Oh, lord, that's Murphy's Law, he's gathering OTHERS!+

(Ganondorf walks away a little, swearing.)

Mewtwo: <I see... Thank you, Vaati. This will help us, greatly. But, tell me, why did you come to us?>

Vaati: +I can feel it. You're involved in something big. I just figured my experience and whatever it is you're tangled up in are connecting.+

(Ganondorf returns.)

Ganondorf: +So, now what? This seems important. Should we tell Samus?+

Vaati: +Samus? Hm, of course. It figures that she would be in charge.+

Mewtwo: <I think we should go to Samus right away.... Vaati, will you join us?+

Vaati: +Not a chance. I only decided to tell you because... Well, that doesn't matter. I'm not going with you.+

Ganondorf: (cough) If you talk with Mario... he can get you your own tower. One that fits your desires.

(Vaati and Ganondorf just stare at each other for a bit, then Vaati poofs out of there.)

Ganondorf: Let's go.

Mewtwo: <Was that a moment of non-hatred? Were you just nice to him?>

Ganondorf: If you don't shut up and start moving, I'll show you how much non-hatred I have, and I'll be nice, while I'm pounding your head into the floor.

(We join Donkey and Diddy Kong, in Donkey's jungle-room, with baby Yoshi. It's about 4 o'clock, 9 days before Brawl.)

Diddy: {So, how long is it going to take him to mature?}

DK: {Dunno. But, I think he's going to be ready to fight again in just a couple years. Until then, we all have to take care of him.}

Diddy: {Yeah... Say, what did he do, that he had to be reborn?}

DK: {Uh? Erh, that doesn't really matter, does it? Clean slate, and all that?}

(Silence. Suddenly, Yoshi starts making a fuss.)

DK: {Ah, must be feeding time. I'll go get his juice.}

(DK lumbers out of the room, leaving Yoshi with Diddy.)

Diddy: {He just... left me, with you. I'd really like to know what it is you did, though. Too bad you can't talk, yet.}

Yoshi: ....... Goo!

Diddy: {Baby-talk. Just great.} (sigh) {You know, you're not going to grow up right with just juice. You're going to need something to make your muscles strong. How about this: When you get all your teeth, I'll give you a nice burger. I'm sure you'd love that.}

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ In the 2D realm ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Geno: Did you just feel something?

G&W: Ya damn right, I felt that.

Geno: I swear, the next time I hear anyone say "what else could go wrong," I'm going to slap them.
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