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Don't credit me for this: This is Shryver's work on GameFAQS. (YOU CAN POST NOW)

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Author Topic: Don't credit me for this: This is Shryver's work on GameFAQS. (YOU CAN POST NOW)  (Read 1991 times)
SilverEspio
Amidoinitrite?
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Posts: 618


What's up? I'm back.


« Reply #15 on: 29 January, 2008, 10:13:24 pm »

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

DK: {Maybe some kind of original concept.}

Diddy: {Like what?}

DK: {No clue. That's why I said it might me some kind of original concept.}

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Wario: ........ +I wish I had someone to gossip with. This bites.+

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Just after lunch ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Doc is in his office, right next to the infirmary. He's going through a few files, when Snake enters.)

Doc: Snake? What can I do for you?

Snake: It's about Luigi, Doc. None of us have heard anything about him, and I wanted to see if you would be willing to tell me anything.

Doc: It's a good thing you came here, now, Snake. Yes, I am ready to release my diagnosis. Have a seat.

(Snake sits down, while Doc pulls out a file from a metal file-cabinet.)

Doc: Here we are. Let's-a take a look, then. From reports I received from another brawler, it seems that at approximately ten minutes past-a ten, yesterday morning, Luigi suffered some-a severe psychological trauma, when Ridley surprised and scared him.

Snake: Surprised and scared? That's a hell of an understatement, Doc.

Doc: That's-a just medical jargon for getting scared *&^%-less.

(Snake coughs, hard. Doc continues as if he said nothing out of the ordinary.)

Doc: As a result of this-a trauma, Luigi is-a now experiencing a form of paranoid psychosis. It means he is-a now mildly afraid of his surroundings, presumably because of-a how Ridley jumped at him from out of nowhere, and he might have episodes of incoherent babbling, or outbursts of raving.

Snake: Doc, I don't know if you heard this one already, but he already had an outburst of raving.

Doc: He did? What did he say? It could give us a clue how we can best treat him.

Snake: I heard he spent most of the time repeatedly mumbling something, but shortly before Mario took him away, at lunch, he did something that doesn't quite sit well with me.

Doc: Interesting. Wait, let me get something to write this on.... Okay, go on.

Snake: It was pretty short, actually. All he did was jump on top of the table, point at Meta-Knight, and shouted that he was next. Then he collapsed into a fetal position, and starting mumbling something. I couldn't hear what it was, though.

Doc: He pointed at Meta-Knight? Very interesting, indeed. One moment... Okay. Thank you very much, Snake. This should help me to determine a proper treatment.

Snake: It was no problem, Doc. I'll start telling the others this.

Doc: Thank you. But, if you don't mind-a me asking, why does it not sit well with you?

Snake: Hm? Well, nothing specific, really. Maybe just because it seemed a little specific, to be just a regular psychotic episode, you know?

Doc: Mm, I see. That will help, as well.

Snake: Glad to be of help.

(Snake starts to get up, but hesitates, and sits back down.)

Snake: Ah, Doc? One last thing, about Luigi.

Doc: Hm? What is it?

Snake: You mentioned getting him the right treatment? Well, I think I might have it.

Doc: Do you? What is it?

Snake: Luigi always really liked jello-shots. And schnapps. Mentholmint, especially. He says it's good for his breath.

Doc: You... want to get Luigi drunk?

Snake: It's just a suggestion. Me, Luigi and Wario are all drinking buddies, and I think it might help him if he's in an environment he knows is safe, and always leads to good times.

Doc: You want to take Luigi to a bar, and get him drunk?

Snake: ..... Yes.

(Silence. Doc goes over a few notes in Luigi's file.)

Doc: ..... Not too much, got that? Don't-a destroy all his brain cells.

Snake: No more than usual, I promise.

Doc: Fine. Monitor him closely, though. Stay sober, if you have to.

Snake: No problem. Thanks again, Doc. I'm sure this will help him, plenty. Ah, where can I find greenie, anyway?

Doc: Hm? Oh, take this note to Mario, later, and he'll get Luigi for you.

(Doc scribbles a note, and hands it to Snake. He leaves Doc's office, and heads to Wario's room to tell him the plan.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later, at 1:30 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Everyone has gathered in the Endless Field. Strangely, there are several characters there not normally seen, such as King Dedede, Blaziken, Vaati, Ridley, and others. Mario is standing near the front of a stage, a red curtain hanging right behind him.)

 Mario: .... It looks like everyone is-a here. Today, I would like to officially announce something completely new, for Brawl. Some of you might-a remember in-a Melee, at the end of the Adventure gauntlet, you fought Giga-Bowser. Now, that has been taken a step further. I would like to introduce all of you... (steps to the side) ... to your own personal bosses!

(With that, the curtains quickly pull aside, revealing a whole host of strange characters. The sheer variety among them is stunning.)

Mario: Of course, this is only covers a few of you. Some of us have our personal bosses right here, among us! Bowser and I are bosses to each other, as are Ganondorf and Link. Research is still being done, to get the right boss, for the rest of you. I encourage you all to... hm?

(Many of the brawlers have suddenly become very, very tense, and it can be felt, in the air. Some of them are looking downright upset.)

Mario: .... (sight) Any complaints can be submitted to me, personally, in my office. One at a time.

(Mario leaves, and so do a couple other brawlers. However, most of them stay, and most of those are the ones with their personal bosses standing up on the stage.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A little later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Samus: How sound-proof is this room?

Mario: Shout to your heart's content.

Samus: Thank you. (deep breath) WHAT THE *&^% WERE YOU THINKING!!? You brought that- that THING- you brought it HERE!?

Mario: That's-a right.

Samus: ..... WHY!?

Mario: It.... seemed like a good idea at the time?

Samus: I- I just- You, and the... You *&^%-. . . . WHAT THE HELL!?

Mario: Are you about through?

Samus: Almost.

Mario: One more, and that's it. I can only guess how many others are out there, right now.

Samus: Oh, get comfy, Mario, because you're going to be there for a long, LONG time.

(Samus storms out, and slams the door. A second later, Geno walks in, and closes the door behind him.)

Geno: What the *&^% Mario? That's all I have to say. What the *&^%?

(Geno walks out.)

Mario: +It's-a gonna be a long day, isn't it?+

(After Mario has had several earfuls about the special bosses, Mario eventually made it known that they would also be living on the Smash Planet, but in a separate mansion, except for the ones who are also brawlers. Needless to say...)

Samus: This isn't good. I don't like this, at all.

Snake: Dare I ask why?

Samus: This offers opportunities for all sorts of suckiness.

Snake: Right, of course. How could I think it would be anything different.

Samus: .... Was that sarcasm?

Snake: Of course not. I would never think to belittle you in any way.

Samus: You'd better not. Anyway, what was it you wanted to talk to be about?

Snake: Ah, right, that. So, I told you how I asked Doc about Luigi, and he gave me his diagnosis.

Samus: Right, I already started circulating the news.

Snake: Thank you. Well, I kinda offered... a treatment... for Luigi.

Samus: .... What kind of treatment?

Snake: It's, um, the Dr. McGillicuddy's Treatment, for patients with psychosis brought on by.... trauma.

(Samus levels a penetrating gaze at Snake, with one eyebrow arched.)

Samus: Say, isn't Dr. McGillicuddy that guy that makes schnapps?

Snake: ..... Maybe?

Samus: You want to take Luigi DRINKING!?

Snake: Hold on, dear. I already checked it out with Doc, and he said it might be a good idea.

Samus: Snake, Luigi is severely messed up! He needs real treatment, not a shot of whiskey!

Snake: Jello-shot, actually. But, that's not the point. Think about it, for a minute. Luigi is going to be in an environment that he knows will never try to scare him, and that might be what he needs, above all! Besides, if nothing else, the liquor will probably reboot his brain, and isn't that what needs to be done with any psychosis patient?

Samus: NO! It's a stupid idea, and I'm not going to let you go through with it!

 (Samus resolutely turns her back on Snake. A second later, Samus feels a pair of arms slide around her slender waist, and a hot breath on her neck.)

Snake: Are you sure about that?

(Snake holds his stubbled face right at the nape of Samus's neck, and starts kissing his way up, slowly.)

Samus: I'm... positive. My mind- It's made up

(Snake nibbles on Samus's earlobe, then whispers into her ear in a low, seductive tone.)

Snake: I think you're going to let me go.

Samus: No, I'm not. I already told you-
Snake: You're going to let me go, because I know what you're greatest weakness is...

Samus: What- what weakness could you have possibly found?

Snake: This Zero Suit that you wear... It's a lot thinner than you would have others believe. I know how sensitive your body can be... especially when I touch you... like this.

(Without warning.... Snake starts to mercilessly tickle Samus! Samus yelps once, and tries desperately to pry Snake's fingers off her writhing body. Snake finds a sweet spot, right on her belly, and it makes Samus squeal.)

Samus: OH GOD STOP! Heeheeheehee- (short breath) STOP IT SNAKE! Ooh, hooohoohoo! (short breath) Stopstopstopstop STOP! OKAY! I GIVE! JUST STOP!!

(Snake immediately lets got of Samus, but keeps her from collapsing to the floor. Slowly, Samus calms down... gets a good breath, wipes away the tear... chuckles once more...)

Snake: Well? Can I take Luigi drinking? It's for his health, you realize.

Samus: ... Maybe.

(Snake holds up his fingers, like he was about to strike. Samus squeaks and shies away.)

Samus: FINE! Go, dammit, if it's really that important to you.

Snake: Thanks, babe. I love you.

Samus: (sigh) I love you to.

(Snake sweeps Samus into his arms, and kisses her deeply. They hold each other for what seem like an eternity, before they have to break for air.)

Samus: Mmm. I really love you, now.

Snake: Damn straight.

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Mewtwo and Ganondorf have just finished training, and are walking the halls.)

Ganondorf: There's one thing that still confuses me.

Mewtwo: <What's that?>

Ganondorf: ..... How does it happen?

Mewtwo: <No guessing. Get to the point.>

Ganondorf: I suppose. I ju- ... You know, you seem a little more irritable than usual. What's going on?

Mewtwo: <You mean besides the obvious?>

Ganondorf: You're stressed about being a father? Is that it?

Mewtwo: (sigh) <Somewhat. From what I understand, when a normal Pokemon has a child, they instinctually know how to rear the child, whether they're male or female. I don't believe I have those instincts.>

Ganondorf: So, what, you're worried that you won't be able to be the father-figure you feel you should be?

Mewtwo: <That's part of it. Of course there's more, but I can only lose sleep over one at a time.>

Ganondorf: Mm. I won't try to comfort you, by saying you'll be a great father. In the Gerudo clan, well, there aren't any fathers, at all. I'm the first male in decades, and I have yet to father any children.

Mewtwo: <You mean you're-?>

Ganondorf: NO! Er, no. I have a harem, of course, but none of them have bore me a child, yet.

Mewtwo: <Yet?>

Ganondorf: It's been a while since I was there. For all I know, one might have been born, by now.

Mewtwo: <Hm..... You had a question?>

Ganondorf: Yes, I did, and, since you want me to get right to the point, how will your child be born?

Mewtwo: <I'm afraid I still don't understand.>

Ganondorf: I can't make it any clearer than that.... unless... Mewtwo, do you know about the concept of childbirth?

Mewtwo: .... <I do not. I suppose it is one of those things this is supposed to be instinct.>

Ganondorf: Oh, good LORD, Mewtwo. Go talk with Gardevoir, again. Now.

Mewtwo: .... <Fine.>

(Mewtwo floats away. Ganondorf just watches him go, shakes his head, and continues on his way.)

Ganondorf: +Moron. How could anyone not-+ What th- Who are you?

Huh??: Hmm. You look like you know your way around here. Tell me, where might I find some good meat? A turkey leg, perhaps, or something a little larger.

Ganondorf: ... +Why am I always stuck with the weird ones+ I asked you your name. Tell me, and I'll tell you where you can get your food.

Simon: Of course, how rude of me. I am Simon Belmont, slayer of Dracula.

Ganondorf: ... Who's Dracula?

Simon: You do not know who Dracula is? Ah, of course, I understand. I am a brawler, from a different universe. I understand you already have some, like me.

Ganondorf: That might explain it. Now, as for where you can get your meat....

(Marth and Roy turn a corner, and stop when they see Ganondorf and Simon.)

Ganondorf: Excellent! Get over here, you two!

Marth: (confused Japanese)

Roy: (more confused Japanese)

Ganondorf: Whatever. This is Simon Belmont. Simon, don't bother talking with them, they don't speak our language. You two, take Simon to a place where he can get some meat. Alright? Good.

(Without waiting, Ganondorf hurries out of sight, leaving Marth, Roy and Simon in the middle of the hall... staring at each other.)

Roy: .... (curious Japanese)

Simon: You heard the man. I'm hungry, and need meat.

Marth: (innuendo Japanese)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later, at dinner ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Simon: This is amazing! What manner of food do you call this?

Fox: It's just pizza, settle down. You'll get used to this, trust me.

Simon: Perhaps, but this is nothing like what I'm used to, at all.

Falco: What do you normally eat?

Simon: Sometimes I can buy something at shops, but I find most of my food just laying around.

Krystal: Laying around? What environment do you do your adventuring in?

Simon: Mostly old castles, sometimes outside, on random mountainsides, sometimes in sewers, it varies. Why?

Krystal: And you eat that stuff?

Simon: Why wouldn't I?

(Krystal just makes a disgusted noise, and goes back to her pasta.)

Marth: (Japanese while eyeing Simon up and down.)

EXE: Dammit, no! Can't you keep it together for one consecutive day?!

Roy: (sheepish Japanese)

EXE: ..... That's it, I'm out of here.

(Mega Man leaves, but the rest go on, with Simon getting more and more excited, as he eats more.)

Simon: Ooh, what is-
Krystal: Simon!

Simon: Hmm?

Krystal: So, what is it you do, anyway?

Falco: Yes, on your world, what was it that made you a brawler?

Simon: Oh, I killed Dracula.

MK: Who's Dracula?

Simon: None of you know who Dracula is? Do you at least know what vampires are?

Marth: (questioning Japanese)

Fox: Is Dracula a vampire?

Simon: ... Maybe. Simon: Try the king of all the vampires.

Krystal: Cool. How'd you do it?

Simon: Why, with my trusty flame-whip, of course.

Falco: You... use a whip?

Simon: Yes. Is there something wrong with that?

Fox: It's... an unusual weapon, is all.

Krystal: So, you're a long-haired muscle-bound pretty-boy, you run around in leather, and you use a whip?

Roy (to Marth): (hopeful Japanese)

Fox/Falco: NO!

(It is about an hour before dinner. Mario and Doc are sitting in Mario's office, discussing Zelda and Luigi.)

Mario: So, how is-a my brother?

Doc: Ah, it's-a hard to say.

Mario: Hm? How so?

Doc: After hearing the case for it, I decided to put-a Luigi on a, er, somewhat radical treatment.

Mario: How radical is it? Could it hurt Luigi?

Doc (under breath): No more than-a usual, I imagine.

Mario: What was that?

Doc: Ah! Sorry, just, uh, trying to remember the details. This-a treatment shouldn't cause any-a harm to Luigi, but if it does, we'll take him off, immediately.

Mario: Well, I suppose if you think it'll-a help him.

Doc: Don't worry. If-a this works, we'll know.

Mario: That's-a good to hear. So, then, tell me about-a the treatment. How does it work, and why is it-a radical?

Doc: Mm, erm, (cough) I would tell you, but, well, I'm afraid I don't have my notes with me.

Mario: Isn't there anything you can tell me?

Doc: I do know for sure that he'll either be cured, or stay the same. At the very least, we have nothing to lose.

Mario: Hmm... Okie-dokie. Has he been started, yet?

Doc: Tonight, actually. Ah, I have enlisted Snake in this, since he has better resources than I do. He'll come by to get Luigi.

Mario: Excellent. Now, moving right along...

Doc: Of course, Zelda.

(Doc goes through a file, then stops....)

Doc: I have good news and bad news.

Mario: Mama-mia... Alright, let's-a hear it.

Doc: The good news is that I have isolated and identified the poison used to put Zelda into her coma. From that, I have found that an antidote exists.

Mario: That's-a good news, indeed. But this obviously means...

Doc: Exactly. The bad news is that, while I know what the antidote is, I don't-a know where to find it.

Mario: Of course. Can you make any guesses where it might be?

Doc: In this universe.

Mario: Oh, that's-a gonna help, a lot.

Doc: Don't worry, yet. You called me in here not long after I identified the antidote. After this, I will contact some of-a my colleagues, in-a different parts of the universe. Since my network reaches most of the corners, I think at least one person will have some idea where it can be found.

Mario: Good, good. Keep me posted, okay?

Doc: Of course.

(Doc gets up, gathers up his files, and heads for the door.)

Mario: Ah, before you go...

Doc: Hm?

Mario: Ah, no, it's-a nothing. Never mind.

(Doc looks at Mario for another second, shrugs, and heads out. As soon as the door closes, Mario thunks his head on his desk.)

 Mario: Damn it all. Zelda gets-a poisoned, my brother is insane, and now, I'm getting-a premonitions about something terrible. Of course, I don't have to guess about that last one...

(Mario lifts his head, and spins his chair, until he is facing The Deity.)

Mario: ... do I?

TD: Now, now, father, there's no reason to be cross with me.

(Mario raises one bushy eyebrow.)

TD: ... Fine. No reason to be cross with me, about anything new.

Mario: I think what you have-a done in the past is enough, really. I can hate you, plenty, for that.

TD: ... Hm. Funny.

Mario: Are you here just to annoy me?

TD: Oh, no. Well, annoying you is reason enough, father, but I am here for something. You see...

(The Deity grasps Mario's chair with his long, thin fingers, and brings his face close to Mario's.)

TD: ... there is one more thing for you to do, yet, and trust me when I tell you this: If you deny me, it will be the last thing you ever do.

(For the longest time, Mario stares into the cold, empty eyes of The Deity. Finally, an unseen message passes between Mario and his creation.)

TD: Very good... I'm pleased that you know your place. Now, all you need to do is-
(Mario turns his head when there is suddenly a knock at the door. When Mario turns back, The Deity is gone.)

TD: I'll speak with you, later, father.

(Mario pauses, and wipes the sweat that had broken out, on his forehead. He composes himself, and turns towards the door.)

Mario: Enter.

(The door opens up, and Donkey Kong walks in.)

Mario: Donkey Kong? I'm a little surprised to see you here.

DK: {Hello, Mario. I'm afraid this isn't a social visit.}

Mario: No, I suppose it isn't. Is there-a something troubling you?

DK: {It's Yoshi, Mario. For some reason, for the past few days, he's been acting... Well, he's been acting different, from what I think he's supposed to.}

Mario: Is that so? Do you think it's-a something that happens as they all grow? I know I don't know much about Yozards, when they're still-a growing up.

DK: {Perhaps, but this is still worrying me. He's still very tiny, but he seems unusually aggressive.}

Mario: Aggressive? You don't think Yoshi has-a been eating any meat?

DK: {Already thought of that. I checked and double-checked everything I feed him. One-hundred percent fruits and vegetables.}

Mario: Then, who else could be... I might have an idea what's-a going on.

DK: {You mean... Are you thinking that someone else is doing this, to Yoshi?}

Mario: Exactly.

DK: {But, that doesn't make sense, at all. The only other brawler besides me- Of course!}

Mario: Hm? You- think you know who is-a doing this?

DK: {It must be Diddy! He's the only other person, besides me, who is close to Yoshi.}

Mario: Oh, Diddy. Of course...

DK: {Mario? You sound like you thought it was someone else.}

Mario: No! No, I just- thought of... Luigi, for a second there.

DK: {Of course, I understand. I'm very sorry about him. How is your brother?}

Mario: Insane. But, Doc has a treatment he thinks might-a cure him.

DK: {That's good to hear. Well, it's getting close to dinner time. I'd better get back to our room, if I want to tell Diddy about Yoshi. Thank you, Mario.}

Mario: Not a problem, Donkey Kong, I'm-a glad I could-a help.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Serenade: Aren't we early? There's no-one here, yet.

Geno: That's the point. Can you imagine walking in, and having every single brawler looking at you, simultaneously?

Serenade: Well, if you didn't give me this body, they wouldn't be staring. Honestly, why did you make me look like this?

Geno: Because this is what I think of, when I think of perfection.

Serenade: .... Fine, you're off the hook. This time.

Geno: +I'd better be off the hook. It took me an hour to memorize that line.+

Serenade: Geno?

Geno: Ah, sorry, just thinking about something. Anyway, you weren't here when Mewtwo introduced Gardevoir to all of us. Every single eye was on her, and she blushed a shade of red I had never seen anywhere, before. I don't want that, for you.

Serenade: So, instead of every eye, at once, we get spectators slowly?

Geno: .... Yes. Now, eat up, and let me do the talking.

Serenade: Good thinking. Oh, and thanks, for teaching me about, you know, all this stuff.

Geno: Hm? What stuff?

Serenade: I've never been in a real body, before. I wasn't used to the fine-muscle movements, and you were patient with me, and taught-
Geno: Your welcome. Heads up, here comes the first few.

(The children enter, in their usual cluster. They slow down, when they see Serenade, but continue to their table. Geno leans in close to Serenade.)

Geno: See? That wasn't so bad, was it?

Serenade: Are they still looking?

Geno: A couple of them.

Serenade: Which ones?

Geno: ... The one in the green tunic is Young Link, the one with the baseball cap is Ness, and the one in the blue parka, Popo.

Serenade: Mm. Just as I thought.

Geno: Just as you thought? What do you mean?

Serenade: It's nothing, just a hunch. Here come a couple more. Who are they?

Geno: The one with the toga is Pit, and the one with the green tunic is Link, the future Young Link, obviously.

(Link sees Serenade, elbows Pit, and jerks his head at her. They walk over, and take a seat across from them.)

Link: Hey, Geno... Who's your friend?

Geno: I'm so glad you asked, Link. This is my, er, friend, Serenade. She is from Star Road, like me. She's the one that told me about Yoshi.

Link: I see. So....

(Link makes some odd gestures. Serenade watches for a second, then giggles.)

Serenade: Geno, you do know what he's trying to say, right?

Geno: I do. I just don't feel like dignifying it with an answer.

(Link stops his gesturing, and blushes, a little. Pit pats his shoulder, they get up, and go to their table.)

Serenade: Okay, maybe I can handle this place, if more of your friends are as funny as he is.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Y. Link: Who is she?

Nana: Why don't you go ask?

Y. Link: Ah, no, that's fine.

Bowser Jr.: Why not? You don't want to know?

Y. Link: It's... not that. I just don't feel like... getting up, is all.

Pikachu: Pika, pikachu, pi, chu.

Nana: Kirby?

Kirby: (cough) Puyo, puyo puyo. Puyo.

Bowser Jr.: What's he saying?

Nana: What do you mean it doesn't translate?

Popo: It's alright, Nana, just let it go. If he says he doesn't understand, I believe him.

(All the boys, except Bowser Jr. and Pichu, glance at each other.)

Nana: Fine, whatever. I'll go ask.

(Nana hops off her seat, and goes over to Geno and Serenade. At the same time, Fox, Falco and Krystal, who had just entered, decide to do the same. Serenade leans in close beside Geno.)

Serenade: It seems that I'm getting popular.

Geno: New faces are always a big deal, around here. It's something that comes with living under one roof.

Falco: Who's this, Geno?

Nana: Yeah, the boys wanna know, for some reason.

Serenade: The boys? Why doesn't one of them ask?

Nana: Dunno. Young Link says he doesn't feel like standing up, though.

(Serenade glances at Young Link, and desperately tries to stifle the laughter.)

Geno: +Dammit.+ Her name is Serenade, and she's from Star Road, like I am.

Nana: Oh. How come she's laughing, but trying to hold it in?

(Serenade hides her face in Geno's cap, and waves hand at Nana.)

Serenade (muffled): It's nothing, dear. Run along, now.

Geno: +Maybe this was a bad idea.+

(Nana looks at Serenade with a weird look, but returns to the others. Fox and Falco, content with learning Serenade's name, go to their table. Krystal, however, sticks around a little longer.)

Krystal: You're from Star Road? What are you doing here, then?

Serenade: Well, I was the one who told Geno about Yoshi, you see. After I told him, I asked him if I could tag along, when he came back here.

Geno: And after I said no, she went from asking to nagging.

Serenade: It was whining, not nagging.

Krystal: So, what, you were bored?

Serenade: A little. Actually, I just needed a break from the job, you know? It's not all fun and games, in Star Road. I was authorized for a vacation, I saw my opportunity, so, here I am.

Krystal: Interesting. So.... does that mean that isn't your natural form?

Serenade: Yup. I figured it would be better to have a physical form, for this, so I had Geno create this doll for me.

Krystal: Really?

(Krystal raises an eyebrow, and looks at Geno with an odd look. Her tail starts twitching.)

Krystal: And how did you come up with this shape, Geno?

Geno: Well, I di-
Serenade: Geno says he just thought of perfection, and that's how he created this body.

Krystal: Is that so?

(Krystal's tail is twitching a little more. Pit walks by on his way to the buffet line, but stops behind Krystal, and sniffs the air.)

Pit: Is that ozone I smell?

(Pit shakes his head, and walks away.)

Geno: +Okay, this was definitely a bad idea.+ Krystal, shouldn't you be getting something to eat?

Krystal: Hm? Oh, I guess you're right.

(Krystal stands up. She has a smile across her muzzle, but her eyes have a strange glint in them.)

Krystal: It was so nice meeting you, Serenade.

Serenade: Likewise, I'm sure.

(Krystal turns, and walks away, but there seems to be a strut in her gait.)

Serenade: I like her. She's nice.

Geno: +No matter how this ends, I just know I'm going to get hurt.+

(While most of the rest of the mansion has already gone to sleep, there is one trio still out... drinking, of course.)

Snake: Don't get any ideas, fat-ass. The only reason you're here is because this is for Luigi's sake. I still don't like what you did to Peach.

Wario: Oh, come on, be reasonable, put yourself in my shoes. I've lost almost every single bet I've made, in the past six months. Suddenly, I hit the jackpot! Now, tell me, what would you have done, if it were you?

Snake: Nice try, but you and I are different people. I would have done different, if I was in the same situation.

Wario: Hmph. Well, whatever. Let's get this guy drunk, already.

(Snake takes a beer-bong, and stuffs the business end into Luigi's mouth. At the top, he pours in a generous amount of mentholmint schnapps. After a moment with no reaction, Luigi starts swallowing.)

Wario: Well, that's a good start. Try something a little harder.

Snake: Right.

(Snake pours in a generous amount of vodka. Luigi swallows, and tears up a little.)

Snake: Another small step, or should we go right to the top?

Wario: Let's just go for it.

Snake: Hey, barkeep, give us the strongest drink in the house.

(The bartender gives Snake a strange look, then pulls out several bottles, and starts mixing. A minute later, he hands Snake a tall glass of liquid.)

Snake: ..... Is that smoke?

Wario: Ooh, Industrial-Strength Rot-gut. If this doesn't do it, Luigi's gone.

(Snake hesitates, before slowly pouring the drink down the tube. Snake winces when he hears the sizzling. Again, Luigi swallows. This time, however, when it's done, he starts shaking....)

Snake: ..... Wario, what's in this stuff?

Wario: Ah, it's something we don't talk about, around here. Health codes, and all that.

Snake: Uh... huh. Is this normal?

Wario: It's within normal parameters. This is something that happens to everyone who drinks this stuff. We'll know if it had any real effect, any moment now.

(Almost as if on cue, Luigi reacts. He slaps both hands down on he bar, and starts whamming his head against it. He then hops off his stool, hooks his thumbs in his overalls, and struts about, reciting "Mary Had a Little Lamb".... and passes out.)

Snake: .... Is that it? Is that the reaction we were looking for?

Wario: That's it. Now, we just need to wake him up.

Snake: How do we do that?

(With a nasty grin, Wario gets out of his seat, approaches Luigi, and gives him a wet-willy. Luigi instantly wakes up, jumps up, and punches Wario in the face.)

Snake: Yep, he's cured.

Luigi: Don't-a EVER do that again! I will cu- What's-a going on, here?

Snake: It's a long story, greenie. Come on, we have some jello-shots lined up for you.

(Luigi's face brightens, when he hears this.)

Luigi: Why, I do believe you just said the magic words!
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