~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Somewhere within the mansion ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
MK: ..... Damn.
TD: Indeed. I mean, I knew it wasn't going to be pleasant, but that was... strangely erotic.
(Somehow, Meta-Knight manages to look incredibly weirded out by The Deity, who sees his reaction.)
TD: What? Oh, right, the sick, perverted thing. Hey, if you can think of anything hotter than that princess gettin' her freak on with completely non-human creatures, I invite you to tell me. Actually, maybe if it were Zelda, or Samus. OOH! How about that saucy Pokemon, Gardevoir?! Or all of them?
(Extremely. Awkward. Silence. Meta-Knight backs up... slowly...)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later, after dinner ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Geno is in the 2D realm, with Mr. Game&Watch.)
G&W: So... I noticed you brought in a new friend, recently.
Geno: Serenade? She's great. Have I mentioned that she's the one who granted the wish for Yoshi to be reborn?
G&W: Is that so? Well, at least she has that going for her.
(Pause.)
Geno: What does that mean?
G&W: Settle down, Geno. I'm only saying that I don't know anything about Serenade, but if she's the one responsible for Yoshi, then she's alright, by my book.
Geno: Didn't I just tell you she's great?
(Somehow, Mr. Game&Watch manages to look like someone who has just raised an eyebrow.)
G&W: Do I detect hostility? Geno, I don't think you're thinking too clearly.
(For a moment, Geno looks like he is about to say something, but then relaxes.)
Geno: Yes, you're right. I suppose I was expecting negativity, and put myself in defensive mode. I almost lost my temper, and that wasn't something I should have done.
G&W: .... There seems to be a lot of that, lately.
Geno: What's that?
G&W: People looking like they're going to be unreasonably upset, then suddenly changing their mind, like they just skipped straight to the resolution of the argument.
Geno: You know, now that you mention it, you're right. I wonder why that is.
G&W: Bad writing.
Geno: Hm? Sorry, didn't quite catch that.
G&W: I said, it's bad tidings. You've been feeling it, too, I'm sure. Something bad is going to happen.
Geno: Well, of course, something bad is going to happen. We know that, for a fact.
G&W: Yes, but... ah, you're probably right.
Geno: Mm. So, you said you had a reason for bringing me in here. Care to tell me what it is?
G&W: Ah, yes, of course. It's um.... it's a little complicated, I think.
Geno: What is it? Something involving- something big?
G&W: No. No, it's nothing dire. It's just.... I'm... (mumble mumble mumble)
Geno: What's that? I don't speak mumble.
G&W: I'm.... lonely.
(Pause.)
Geno: .... Ah.
G&W: Yes. Ah, what am I saying? This makes no sense.
Geno: No, no, I think I understand. I can only imagine what it can feel like, to not feel any companionship.
G&W: Exactly. Fourty some-odd years of almost complete solitude, and suddenly, I find myself among others. It was a little daunting, I'll admit, but I grew to enjoy just being near others for, well, the first time, ever.
Geno: Mm. Then I come along, and you find someone you can actually communicate with, and suddenly, you find yourself hungry for anything social.
G&W: Pretty much. It's all still fairly new to me. I don't know how I should feel, or what I should do, about these... feelings.
Geno: I see. Well, ah, why don't we go into the 3D realm, and... you know, I just realized that I've never played air-hockey. Probably because I never had anyone to play against.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A little later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Insert very, very angry beeping here.)
Geno: Interesting. I never knew I was any good at this.
G&W: <Oh, COME ON! This table is rigged, I know it!>
Geno: nnnnNope. Everything seems fine.
(A little more angry beeping.)
Geno: That's a new word. What does it mean?
G&W: Beep.
Geno: ...... For a guy who speaks in beeps, you have a filthy mouth.
(Luigi's eyelids wobble, as if they were about start twitching.)
Peach: For some reason, though, instead of being upset about it, I realized... I really loved him. I love Bowser. When I told him-
(Peach blushes again.)
Peach: You could say it was even better, than the first time.
(Twitch.)
Peach: I suppose that's where I should stop. Of course, there are certain complications that come from being princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, and loving the king of the Koopas. We talked it over, shortly after, and decided that it might be best for us to keep up the charade, for the sake of our two kingdoms.
Luigi: Yeah? What about Mario and me?
Peach: (sigh) I admit, I hadn't thought much about him, at first. We only considered our love, and our kingdoms. It wasn't until somewhat later, when I realized that we were doing some horrible things to you two, by faking the abductions. I really have to apologize about that, but I didn't know what else to do. Anyway, this was all about seven years ago. I recently talked with Mario, and he says he's perfectly okay with going along with Bowser's and my little act.
Luigi: Oh yeah... I think Snake said-a something about how Mario really enjoys beating up Bowser.
Peach: Hm. That would explain why Bowser always looks so messed up..... he really enjoys it?
Luigi: Snake says Mario had an evil grin, when he said it.
Peach: Yeah, that would definitely do it, then. So, Luigi.... have I satisfied your curiosity?
Luigi: ..... Yes. I believe that's all I need-a to know. Thank you for telling me, Peach.
Peach: Of course. To be honest, it really helps me to be able to tell my story. It sucks, carrying around secrets. I advise you don't do so, Luigi.
Luigi: I'll remember that, Peach.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Somewhere within the mansion ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
TD: That's it!? That was nothing! I can't work with any of that! ..... Just one little obscene sex scene, that's all. Maybe an ****, or something!
(The Deity looks around.)
TD: (sigh) It's just not the same, when there's nobody backing away from me.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Elsewhere, later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(It's getting close to lunchtime, in the mansion. Samus is in her room, reading, fuming. She becomes more agitated as she reads, before she finally throws her book down, and starts walking around her room, looking through her things.)
Samus: +Where is it? Where are they?+
(Suddenly, there's a knock at the door. However, Samus ignores it, and keeps searching.)
Snake: Samus, I know you're in there. Open up.
Samus: +Where the hell are they?+
Snake: We need to talk about what happened, this morning. I don't know why you're upset, but I do know that I don't want to lose you over something I at least don't know about. Open up, and let me in.
Samus: +I know they're in here, somewhere.+
Snake: Okay, if that's the way you want it. I'm picking the lock, and coming in.
Samus: Wait, Snake. I- I need just a little more time. If you come back after lunch, I promise, we'll talk then.
Snake: ...... Alright. Just because I love you, I'll wait, just a little bit longer.
(Snake walk away. Inside, Samus stands still, a confused expression on her face.)
Samus: ... +I could use his help, after all. I might as well go get something to eat.+
(Suddenly, Samus blinks a few times, and shakes her head. She looks around, and puts a hand against her forehead.)
Samus: I... must have stood up too fast. Oh, is that the time? I should get down to the cafeteria.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A little later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Lunchtime. As usual, the sociable brawlers have gathered in the cafeteria.)
Ganondorf: Has it sunk in, yet?
Mewtwo: <Yes. I talked with Gardevoir, and she has explained the rest to me. I confess, it took me by surprise, and... disgusting me, just a little. However, it is natural, so I really have no choice but to accept it. I love her, and I must stay with her, no matter- ... no matter how much it sickens me.>
Ganondorf: And you washed all the egg out?
Mewtwo: <Again, eat me, oaf.>
Ganondorf: It's your fault, really. You're the one who keeps holding food with your psychic powers. I'm sure if you just used your, er, finger... things... you wouldn't have that problem.
Mewtwo: ..... <Nah. I like it better like this. Anyway... Ganondorf? Wait, this looks like... oh, dammit.>
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Somewhere... ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Ganondorf: What the-? You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say I was in the Sacred Realm.
(Ganondorf hears a short thhp sound, and spins around to see Link.)
Link: Ganondorf!? Where the hell are we?
Ganondorf: Link. Then, if you are here, then that means... Okay, you may speak now.
Din: Are you not going to help ease the mind of my sister's avatar?
Ganondorf: Why should I? He's funny like this.
Link: Ganondorf, what the hell is going on? Who is talking to you?
Farore: Link, though you have never heard my voice before, I think you should be able to recognize it.
(For a moment, Link's eyes go wide, then seem to glaze over. He falls to his knees, among the seemingly infinite white-space, and can only try to blink back the tears.)
Link: Fa- Fa-... Farore?
Din: Interesting. You seem to have much more of an impact on your avatar than I on mine.
Farore: My presence has a different effect than your's, sister.
Ganondorf: That, and Link's a little wussy. Hang on.
(Ganondorf slaps Link on the back of his head, then hauls him to his feet.)
Ganondorf: Pay attention, Link. The only reason they would have called us here is because something bad is going to happen. (turns to Din) Let me guess. It's Zelda, isn't it?
Link: Zelda? What's happening to her?
Farore: My sister's avatar is correct. Your Zelda is in grave danger, much as you were, not too long ago. However, she is not why we have called you here.
Link: Farore, please, just- You don't even have to tell me what's going on, just tell me how to save her.
Farore: Your Zelda is not-
Link: TELL ME!
(Ganondorf claps his hand over Link's mouth, and squeezes.)
Ganondorf: Even I am not dumb enough to interrupt one of the three Goddesses.
(Ganondorf gives Link a little shove, and lets go. Link only stares, bewildered, between Ganondorf and Farore.)
Ganondorf: Alright, Din, lay it on me. Why are we here, now?
Din: You know of the cataclysm which will occur, yes?
Ganondorf: I know that general bad stuff is going to happen. I don't know if I would call it a cataclysm, though.
Din: It is worse than you think. Pain and suffering is unavoidable. Death is unavoidable.
Ganondorf: Naturally. When do you get to the part with The Deity?
Din: .... He is no deity, I can tell you that.
Ganondorf: We know that, it's just what we call him.
Farore: You do not know his true name?
(Ganondorf and Link are taken aback. Part of it is because Farore spoke directly to Ganondorf. For a moment, Ganondorf is speechless.)
Din: Be grateful, Ganondorf. It is rare to get be spoken to by one Goddess, but to feel the full impact of the voice of my sister is truly another.
Link: .... Um, are you maybe going to tell us his true name?
Farore: Sister, they do not have long.
Din: Indeed. Harken unto me, and know what you must do. Ganondorf, your first priority will be to recover what you call the Giga-Smash coin.
Ganondorf: Are you going to clue me in to anything else? Like, why I would need to worry about them?
Din: I cannot. However, it has been deemed necessary, and when the time comes, you will feel my strength, and it will help you in your task.
Ganondorf: Understood.
Farore: Link, though you don't know it, your friend is going to play a larger role than you think.
Link: Pit? Will I have to... fight him?
Farore: It will come to pass, that you must do something that takes a different kind of courage. As it is with my sister, and her avatar, I will give you the courage needed, and you will know what you must do.
Link: I- ... Understood.
Din: We have spoken, and it is now in your hands. Know, however, that we have faith in you, and your victory.
Farore: Now, go.
(There is a flash from the two Goddesses, and Link and Ganondorf find themselves in the cafeteria, again. Ganondorf grabs Wario, who had given him a wet-willy, and throws him clear across the room. Ganondorf looks over to see Luigi, on the floor, holding himself. Link is apologizing profusely.)
Mewtwo: <Now, or a little later?>
Ganondorf: +Definitely should wait.+
(Ganondorf catches Link's eye, and an unspoken message passes between them. They then go back to eating, as if nothing had ever happened.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Shortly after lunch, Link, Ganondorf, Geno, Mr. Game&Watch, Mewtwo and Gardevoir have all gathered in a large room in Ganondorf's tower. Link and Ganondorf had just finished telling everyone about their vision.)
Geno: +Interesting... Link, your task seems clear. Pit is going to be an obstacle, and you're the one who gets in his way. What interests me is Ganondorf's task. It seems that they know something that we don't. Ganondorf, do you think it could mean you are meant to protect the Giga-Smash coins?+
Ganondorf: +I had thought about it, but it doesn't quite fit. If I was meant to be the one to hold onto them, I probably would have been told, much earlier. No, it's definitely something different.+
(Mewtwo looks at Gardevoir, and notices the thoughtful look on her face.)
Mewtwo: <Something on your mind?>
(Gardevoir looks at Mewtwo, starts to speak, but then notices that the others have all turned their attention to her.)
Gardevoir: <It's... nothing, I'm sure.>
Mewtwo: <Dear, nothing is just nothing. Tell us.>
Gardevoir: .... <I was just wondering where Samus and Snake are.>
Geno: +Now that you mention it, something strange was going on, between those two.+
Link: +Hey, yeah, they were sitting at different tables, weren't they?+
Geno: +Samus sat with Serenade and I. She told us it was because she wanted to get to know the rest of the brawlers, but I don't buy it. Something must be going on, between them.+
Gardevoir: <Oh, perhaps that is it. Right now, the may not wish to be near each other.>
Geno: +My thoughts, precisely. Anyway, I told Samus she should be here, but she insisted that she had something more important to do. I asked Snake, and, well, his excuse was just lame. The same thing, more or less.
Ganondorf: +Tuh. If they think their falling-out is more important than this, then so be it. Now, can anyone guess what it is I'm supposed to do?+
(Mental silence.)
Geno: +Clearly, this is something that will make itself obvious, in time.+
Mewtwo: <It seems that way. There is nothing we can do, at this moment. Moving right along, there's the matter of The Deity's true name.>
Geno: +Right. One moment.+ <Mr. Game&Watch, you know The Deity better than any of us. Do you know anything about this?>
G&W: .... <I have told you as much as I know.>
Geno: <I see.> +He says he-+
G&W: <However...>
Geno: +Hang on.+ <Game&Watch, what is it?>
G&W: .... <I do know it, but I cannot speak it. I cannot even think it, out loud.>
Geno: <Why not? What do you mean, out loud?>
G&W: <The name of The Deity gives him a certain amount of power. Thinking it allows him to see what you are thinking about, for a brief moment. Saying it allows him to see where you are, and hear what you're saying, no matter where you are. This may even extend into an entirely different plane of existence, like the 2D realm.>
Geno: .... Huh.
(Geno repeats this to everyone. Everyone takes a moment to let this sink in.)
Link: +It makes sense, I think. When I asked... when I asked the Goddesses if they would tell us his name, I was ignored. Perhaps they knew about The Deity could do that.+
Mewtwo: <They were probably thinking his name. How do we know he didn't respond to that?>
Ganondorf: +We don't know that. If they were able to freely think about it, I would guess it's only because they are true deities, whereas THE Deity is just a super-powered being, with god-like powers.+
(Mental silence.)
Mewtwo: <Is that everything?>
Link: +I think so. Ganondorf?+
(Ganondorf closes his eyes, and tilts his head back. A couple seconds later, he nods his head.)
Mewtwo: <So... where do we go from here?>
Geno: +I think that now, all we can do is prepare ourselves, using this new information. Essentially, we're waiting.+
Link: +Then we're done here?+
Geno: +Yes, I believe we are.+
Ganondorf: Good. Get the hell out of my tower.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Snake is standing outside Samus's room.)
Snake: Alright, Samus, I'm here. Open up.
(Silence.)
Snake: This is the exact same as before. Don't make me repeat myself.
(Samus's muffled voice comes through the door.)
Samus: What happened to common courtesy?
Snake: What? What are you- ...... Samus, may I please come in, to talk with you?
(A second later, the door opens. Snake steps in, to see that part of the room had been trashed.)
Snake: Woah. What happened here?
Samus: I'm glad you're here, Snake. I need your help.
Snake: Um, well, okay, but I really came here to talk about what happened, this morning.
Samus: Sure, sure. Give me a hand, will ya?
(Confused, and a little surprised, Snake starts searching through the nearest thing, Samus's dresser.)
Snake: So, obviously, you were upset about something. I know you didn't want to tell me, earlier, but I was hoping you could tell me, now. I can understand if you want to split up, about something, but I feel I have the right to know what this is about.
(Snake stops rummaging for a second, and glances at Samus.)
Snake: Samus? I need you to say something, here.
Samus: Hm? Well, uh, I would like to hear why you think I'm upset.
Snake: Uh... why?
Samus: Because I just want to know if you know, okay? Please?
(Snake thinks for a moment, then shrugs, and turns his attention back to the dresser.)
Snake: Well, you're not really giving me much to go on. My first guess is that it has something to do with the drinking. Am I getting warm?
Samus: Maybe. Why don't you explore that possibility?
Snake: Dear, I don't see-
Samus: Even if it isn't the reason I'm mad at you, don't you think you can benefit from finding fault in what you do?
Snake: I, uh- Huh. I never really thought about it like that, before. Alright. Um, are you going to stop me if I guess right?
Samus: Probably not. Look at this as an opportunity to really think about everything.
Snake: Mm, I see. Well, right away, there's the fact that it's drinking, period. I've heard about relationships being ruined, simply because the guy considers alcohol a form of relaxation. In my case, however, I use it as a way to be social with friends, in ways I'm not, normally. Besides our, er, adventures, with the others, I don't really talk to others. I mean, today, I told people I was apart from you, only because we thought it was a good idea to get to know the others.
Samus: That's good. Good excuse.
(Snake pulls open another drawer, and goes all bug-eyed at what he sees. With a quick glance at Samus, to make sure she isn't looking, Snake pulls out a pair of incredibly erotic panties, out of the whole pile.)
Samus: Snake?
(Surprised, Snake fumbles with the lingerie, and stuffs it back in the drawer.)
Snake: So, like I was saying, I'm not normally a sociable guy, but when I'm drinking, it's different. I talk mostly with Luigi, and we laugh at Wario, who is incredibly funny when he's drunk- One time, we got him to do the Mexican Hat Dance. He was so-
Samus: Snake.
Snake: Hm? Oh, right. Anyway, there have been times when I'll meet a stranger who is as drunk as I am. Normally, I wouldn't have even given him a first glance. When I'm drunk, though, this stranger is as much a friend as Luigi or Wario, if only for a few minutes.
(Snake pulls out a thong, and quickly wipes away the drool. With another quick glance at Samus, he stuffs the tiny bit of apparel into one of the myriad pockets that is part of his gear.)
Snake: Anyway, do you understand what I'm saying?
Samus: Yes, I do. Where the hell did I put that?
(Snake pulls out the first pair of lingerie, and quickly stuffs it next to the thong. He then stops, with a puzzled look on his face. He turns to look at Samus.)
Snake: Just what are you looking for, anyway?
(Samus hesitates for a moment, and looks at Snake. For an instant, it almost looks like Samus is confused, but she recovers.)
Samus: The, um... those coins. The. Coins.
Snake: The... OHH! You forgot where you put them?
Samus: Yes, that's it. I had... forgotten. I guess I panicked.
Snake: Well, you told me you put it in your walk-in closet, among the humongous clutter.
Samus: Oh, of course!
(Samus knocks the heel of her hand against her forehead. She walks over to the closet, and walks in.)
Snake: Samus?
Samus: I- I just want to see it, so I can be sure.
(Snake quietly pulls out another pair of panties. When he sees the zipper on the front of the otherwise simple item, he mouths the words "Oh my god!" Grinning and wiping away the drool, Snake stuffs it next to his other prizes. He then closes the drawer, and steps behind Samus.)
Samus: Are you sure?
Snake: Unless you moved it, and didn't tell me. Dear, you're acting strange. Are you feeling alright?
(But she doesn't respond. Samus walks in, critically eyeing the piles of stuff. She stops in front of one pile, with an old shirt on top of it. Samus gets down on her knees, and starts digging through it. She thrusts one hand amidst the pile, and stops, her eyes going wide. Slowly, she pulls out the simple leather-covered case, which contains the five precious Giga-Smash coins.)
Snake: .... Samus? Samus, you found it, now put it back, and talk to me.
(Still holding the case, Samus stands up, apparently enchanted by it. She blinks, and looks into Snake's eyes.)
Samus: That's right.... I found it.
(Samus's eyes suddenly flash a brilliant silvery-blue, making Snake close and cover his eyes. When the flash is gone, Snake opens his eyes... and sees that Samus has disappeared, with the case.)
Snake: ..... Samus? Samus?! SAAAMUUUSSSSS!!!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 15 minutes later, in the 2D realm ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Ganondorf: Alright, Snake, you gathered us all here, what's going on?
(Snake looks out over the assembled crowd, everyone who knows about The Deity, and the Giga-Smash coins. Himself, Ganondorf, Mewtwo, Gardevoir, Geno, Mr. Game&Watch, Link, Bomberman, Serenade and Peach.)
Snake: Wait.... where's Meta-Knight? He should be here, as well.
Mewtwo: <I searched for him, but I couldn't find him, anywhere.>
Snake: Where did you look?
Mewtwo: <Everywhere. Every place where he could stand, on this entire planet.>
Snake: Dammit! He must have left, then. Does anyone know if he took his own ship?
(Silence.)
Snake: Fine. We'll be able to call him back, later. First, Game&Watch, how secure is this place?
G&W: Beep, beep.
Geno: He says this place is a different plane of existence. Getting here is more difficult that, say, trying to punch through the walls between universes.
Snake: Is there any way you can make this place even more secure?
G&W: ..... Beep.
Geno: He has sealed off this realm as best as he can, short of completely destroying the portal. Mr. Game&Watch is pretty much the only one who can reestablish the connection to the 3D world.
Peach: What? Snake, what's going on? Why are we here?
Snake: The Deity knows that we know of his existence.
(Collective gasp!)
Snake: Worse, he somehow found out about the Giga-Smash Emblems.
(Collective gasp again!.... except for Mewtwo.)
Mewtwo: <I know how he found out.>
Snake: How? Ooh, wait, I think I know.
Mewtwo: <Exactly. When we told Meta-Knight about the Giga-Smash Emblems, he accidentally repeated it, out loud.>
Ganondorf: Accidentally? I'm not so sure about that.
Link: Are you suggesting that Meta-Knight...?
Ganondorf: I am.
Snake: That... DAMMIT! Game&Watch, give me something to pound my fist on!
(In an instant, there's a small table next to Snake. Snake slams his fist on the table, making it shudder under the force.)
Snake: Much better. Meta-Knight didn't just get contacted by The Deity, he had already sided with him! I'll bet he left, because he knew what was going to happen!
Link: Hold on, Snake, we don't know that.
BM: No, it makes sense. You guys said that The Deity will target someone when they're in need of something, or at their weakest. Do you remember when he shut himself in his room, for more than a day?
Peach: Meta-Knight must have been so upset!
Ganondorf: No sympathy!
(Several of them jump, and look at Ganondorf with wide eyes.)
Ganondorf: It doesn't matter how Meta-Knight was feeling. All that matters is that he decided to work with The Deity, knowing full well that he was evil. He does not deserve any pity, or mercy.
Peach: How could he know that? From what Link said about Pit, Meta-Knight might have genuinely believed that The Deity was good.
Link: Not Meta-Knight, Peach. He's a seasoned warrior, and would know, just by looking at him, that's he's evil.
Snake: Fine, yes, we know that Meta-Knight joined The Deity of his own volition. That has been well determined.
BM: So, what now?
Snake: Now..... our original plan is gone. We've been put on the defensive, but there are still a few things we have against him. Besides those he's already persuaded to join him, we have the rest of the brawlers, to back us up. Also, we probably still know more about him than he thinks we do.
Geno: That's all well and good, but he still holds all the cards.
Ganondorf: Maybe not.... Time. We have that card.
BM: Say what now?
Ganondorf: The Deity has a schedule to keep. We don't. We can attack we we're ready, but he has to wait until Brawl.
Gardevoir: <Did we ever find out what happens, when Brawl begins?>
Mewtwo: <Hopefully, we won't have to find out.>
Snake: Good point, Mewtwo. Everyone, our mission is to finish this, once and for all, before the first day of Brawl. That gives us three days to think of a good plan, or at least prepare ourselves for one hell of a battle.
BM: Fantastic. What do we do?
(All eyes turn to Snake. Snake fidgets a little, cracks his knuckles, twitches his head.)
Snake: I'm.... give me a minute. Game&Watch, a chair, please.
(Mr. Game&Watch creates a chair, which Snake sits in. A couple seconds later, he makes chairs for everyone else. There they all sit, thinking.)
(Time passes.)
