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Don't credit me for this: This is Shryver's work on GameFAQS. (YOU CAN POST NOW)

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Author Topic: Don't credit me for this: This is Shryver's work on GameFAQS. (YOU CAN POST NOW)  (Read 1987 times)
SilverEspio
Amidoinitrite?
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Posts: 618


What's up? I'm back.


« Reply #15 on: 29 January, 2008, 10:16:02 pm »

Mario: I created-
Link: Woah, woah, woah!

Snake: Link? Is something wrong?

Link: Shouldn't we be thinking about finding and destroying The Deity? Do we have to know any of this, right now?

Peach: Link has a point, Snake. These are things that Mario can easily tell us, afterwards.

Snake: Mm, I see your point. Alright, then. Where should we start?

Ganondorf: I have one. How much did you tell Mario about the Giga-Smash Emblems?

Snake: Everything we know. Well, everything except who can use them.

Ganondorf: Good. Mario, can you hazard a guess as to how effective they'll be, against The Deity? What exactly are they going to do?

Mario: From what Snake has-a told me, the Giga-Smash coins will endow the user with strength and-a speed, equal to The Deity, but that's-a not all. Once the user absorbs the power of the Giga-Smash, they will become immune to almost all of his abilities, until he can-a only effectively use purely physical attacks, and a few special moves.

Ganondorf: ..... In short, he'll be exactly like just one of us?

Mario: That's-a right, or, at least, it's-a right in theory.

BM: Can you guess how long the effects of the Giga-Smash Emblem will last?

Mario: .... No, I cannot. It might be five minutes, maybe more, maybe less.

Snake: Can you tell us where The Deity is, right now?

Mario: He's..... inside the mansion.

Link: Inside?! What, is there some special room for him?

Mewtwo: <That cannot be the case. I have made sweeps of the whole mansion, and have not felt anything to suggest a presence like The Deity.>

Mario: Actually, Link almost had it-a right. There is a space, within this mansion, that is-a completely empty, and is-a surrounded completely by brick. It is-a very small, but only to those looking at it from the outside, like you, Mewtwo. However, anyone who has-a access to it, like myself, The Deity, and his minions, will find a very, very large room, easily the size of our Grand Hall. That is-a where The Deity resides.

(For a moment, they can only let this new information sink in.)

Snake: So, how can we get in?

Mario: ..... I think I can help you, there. I can adjust the entrance mechanism so that just anybody can get in. Hopefully, The Deity won't know there's a difference, and if he does, it-a won't be something he would do, himself. He'll make me change it, and then, when his back is turned, I adjust it, again. Trust me, you don't-a need to worry, when the time comes.

Snake: Excellent. Thank you, Mario. So, where is the entrance?

Mario: It is-a just opposite the door to the Endless Field. It looks like a plain brick wall, but that is just a trick. Just walk through it, and you'll find yourself in his domain.

Link: His domain. That's very encouraging, Mario.

Mario: Oh, no, I only call it his-a domain because it's-a where he operates out of. It's-a really not different from the rest of-a the mansion.

(There is a moment of silence. Mario looks among the others, waiting for another question.)

Peach: What about the question we had, earlier?

Snake: Which one was that?

Peach: The others. How much should we tell them, and all that.

Mario: Ah, if I may?

Snake: Of course, Mario.

Mario: I can call a meeting, and require for everyone to show up. That will ensure everyone is-a there, and whether or not Meta-Knight is-a here, or not.

Snake: That's right. Did anyone see Meta-Knight, at all?

(They all look at each other, expecting the others to respond.)

Snake: Yeah, I expected as much. Continue, Mario.

Mario: Right. I call-a the meeting, and get everyone together. There, we tell them that a super-powerful being is-a hiding within the mansion.

Link: Wait, hang on. What's to stop The Deity from using his powers on us, when we're all together?

Mario: He wouldn't. He knows I'm-a capable of protecting you all, if I need to.

BM: Wait... Mario, how strong are you? I'm hearing how you have close to true-deity status, but you're more or less The Deity's whipping-boy, but you have the strength to stand up to him. What gives, Mario? How come you can be so strong, yet so helpless against The Deity?

Snake: A good question, Bomberman, but one that will have to wait. For now, we-
Mario: No. There is-a no harm in answering that question, now.

Snake: Mario, are you sure? We're a little pressed for time, I think.

Mario: ..... Mr. Game&Watch, what time is it, outside?

G&W: Beep.

Mario: After nine. Snake, most of-a the brawlers are just turning in, so I don't-a think there will be a full-scale invasion, tonight.

(Snake stands up and pounds his fist on the same table he pounded, earlier.)

Snake: DAMMIT, MARIO, HE-

(Snake suddenly stops. Tears just start to leak from the corners of his eyes.)

Snake: He has Samus, Mario. That bastard has her.

(Snake sinks into his seat, again, hiding his eyes with one hand. Mario gently pats his shoulder.)

Mario: I know, Snake, I know.

(Mario stands up, and looks everyone in the eyes.)

Mario: I suggest everyone go to sleep, now, in-a your own rooms. Be assured that I will be watching over all of you. Get plenty of rest. This ends tomorrow.

(One by one, the get up, and head out of the 2D realm, Mario first. Snake is the last to stand up, and leave, leaving Mr. Game&Watch alone.)

G&W: ...... Okay, seriously, this whole waiting for tomorrow shtick is getting old.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Outside, in the 3D realm ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Ganondorf and Mewtwo are walking the corridors, heading towards Mewtwo's room.)

Ganondorf: Soooo...... What's she like?

Mewtwo: <What are you talking about?>

Ganondorf: Gardevoir. You showed me a mental image of her, as she is, right now. What's it like?

Mewtwo: ..... <I'm not sure I should share this.>

Ganondorf: Nonsense. This is what friends do. You tell me about Gardevoir, I tell you about my massive harem.

Mewtwo: <Perhaps. Very well. Gardevoir is..... very soft. She used to have be firm, most likely a necessity, for battle, but now... It's unexpected, but not unpleasant.>

Ganondorf: And you say she's already... producing milk?

Mewtwo: <In the typical mammalian way, yes.>

Ganondorf: Interesting. I wonder what use that might have. How did you find out?

Mewtwo: ..... <During certain moments... she leaks, a little. I was curious, and asked her about it. When she explained it, I asked if I might try it. I must say, I can understand why new-borns enjoy it so much.>

Ganondorf: Mmmm.....

Mewtwo: <Ganondorf?>

Ganondorf: Sorry, I was thinking of something else.

(They stop outside Mewtwo's room.)

Mewtwo: (sigh) <She's right inside here.>

Ganondorf: Mm. High-five.

(High-five. Mewtwo heads inside.)

Ganondorf: How does that guy get so lucky?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ The next morning, three days until Brawl ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Mewtwo wakes up bright and early, as usual. He yawns and stretches, but stops when he feels the end of his tail poking something soft. With a grin, Mewtwo gently nudges the softness, then looks behind him. As usual, he is greeted with the ever-reassuring sight of Gardevoir, curled up on her side of the bed, still asleep. Slowly, Mewtwo levitates himself out of bed, so as not to disturb the covers. He softly pads over to the large bay window, and opens the curtains, blinking in the light of the rising sun.)

Mewtwo: .... <Marvelous.>

(He then turns away, and looks upon the sleeping form of his love.)

Mewtwo: ..... <Magnificent.>

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later, at breakfast ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Ganondorf: Morning, moron.

Mewtwo: <Greetings, you knob.>

Ganondorf: Knob? That's new. I like that.

Mewtwo: ..... <What is it you call it. Deja vu?>

Ganondorf: Eh? Now that you mention it, I think we have done this joke before.

Mewtwo: <What do you mean, joke?>

Ganondorf: Er, nothing, slip of the tongue. So, are you ready?

Mewtwo: <I suppose. Hold back on the bacon, though, it slows you down.>

Ganondorf: I hadn't noticed.

Mewtwo: <I did. Do you want to end up like Simon?>

Ganondorf: Simon? That pretty-boy new-comer?

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Everyone at the Fox table is sitting in silence, just watching Simon. He stops in the middle of shoveling flap-jacks in his mouth when he sees them.)

Simon: ..... Whut?

(A small piece of pancake flies out of his mouth as he talks.)

Krystal: ...... Do you normally eat that much?

Simon: Um, hang on. (chokes down his mouthful) What do you mean?

Krystal: Look at your plate. Do you think it's normal for a human to eat that much?

Simon: Uh, perhaps not, but I train hard, so it's fine.

(Simon spreads some butter on one pancake, rolls it up, and proceeds to shove it in his mouth.)

EXE: No, no, I don't think you train hard enough. Simon, you're eating more than you're burning off.

Simon: Thuh heck duz that mean?

(Simon uses a finger to push in the piece of pancake that is trying to get out.)

EXE: You know what? Nevermind. Go ahead.

(EXE exchanges a meaningful glance with Krystal.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

DK: {So, where is Samus, today?}

Snake: She fell ill, I'm afraid. Doc gave her some antibiotics, last night, and he says we'll know if it worked by the middle of today. Anyway, how is it with you guys? I hardly know anyone around here.

DK: {We're fine, thanks for asking.}

Snake: That's great. Hey, why don't you tell me a little bit about yourselves?

Diddy: {Gee, there isn't a whole lot to say, is there, Donkey? We're just a couple of apes that try to live.}

DK: {That about sums it up, I think. We'll occasionally do something about King K. Rool, but other than that, we do what comes naturally to us.}

Snake: K. Rool? Wait, is he your special boss?

Diddy: {Yup. A big, fat crocodile. He's actually kinda pathetic. I'm surprised he's being included.}

DK: {Remember, Diddy, when Brawl starts, the whole playing field is leveled. Why, I'll bet that you could take down that Ridley brute just as well as the rest of us.}

Diddy: {Really?! Hoo hoo hoo, I'm liking this even more, all of a sudden.}

(Snake forces a grin on his face, and drinks.)

DK: {Snake? Are you alright? You seem a little strained, for some reason.}

Snake: It's nothing. If you'll excuse me, I have to check on Samus.

DK: {Of course, Sna-}

(But Snake has already stood up, and left.)

Diddy: {Hey, he didn't even throw away his stuff!}

Dk: {Diddy.... Let it go.}

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A little later, after breakfast ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Ganondorf and Mewtwo are walking the corridors of the mansion, as usual.)

Ganondorf: I just remembered, yesterday morning, at breakfast. You started to say something, but stopped. You said you would tell me later. It's later.

Mewtwo: <Er, yes, so it is. Ganondorf..... If I may step out of character, for a moment... I consider you a friend. A good friend. There is something that I can only really trust you with.>

(Mewtwo and Ganondorf stop. Ganondorf feels something like a wave of thought, going through his mind, and he can tell that Mewtwo is sweeping the area to make sure they're alone.)

Mewtwo: <Gardevoir is strong, there's no denying that. However, I still fear for her... and my child. Ganondorf... If, for some reason, I am unable to- unable to take care of my child... I want you to be the godfather.>

(Ganondorf raises an eyebrow, but stays silent.)

Mewtwo: ...... <Ganondorf?>

Ganondorf: I'm... trying to think of how I should respond. This is wholly different from- I mean, it's not exactly- ...... Sure, Mewtwo, I will be your child's godfather.

(Eventually, the moment passes, and they continue on their way to their special reinforced training room, where they beat the holy hell out of each other.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Somewhere within the mansion ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

TD: What a touching moment. Did you hear that, Samus? Wasn't it so emotional, it just makes you want to hurl?

Samus: Bite me.

TD: Goodness, you're awfully snippy. Perhaps I should plug your mouth with something.

Ridley: hhI'm telling hyou, kill her now!

TD: Ridley, shut up, would you? I have her all locked up, and helpless. Therefore, I am obligated, as the evil person I am, to torture her in the most horrible way I dare, then kill her.

(Ridley, content with this, gets comfortable. That same awful, fanged grin has spread across his long beak-like mouth.)

TD: This brings me back to you, my dear. You see...

(The Deity holds up a hand. Samus rises off the floor of her cell, held by The Deity's mental grip.)

TD: ... there's something you probably ought to know about me.

(The Deity spreads his fingers.)

TD: I am a massive pervert...

(Samus's limbs suddenly shoot out, until she is being held spread-eagled, mid-air.)

TD: ... and when opportunity comes a-knockin'...

(Samus looks at The Deity with revulsion. She then looks a little lower, and the revulsion is joined by fear.)

TD: ... I answer.

(Bomberman, Geno and Mario are walking the halls. It's approximately an hour before lunch.)

BM: So, you're sure you can protect us?

Mario: Absolutely.

BM: Can't you do anything about Samus? For all we know, The Deity might be doing something bad to her.

Mario: Ah, I'm afraid not.

Geno: You know, I'm getting curious, as well. Mario, exactly why can't you and The Deity harm each other?

Mario: ..... (sigh) I suppose you both deserve some sort of answer. Very well, come-a to my office.

(The three head to Mario's office. Inside, Mario seats himself in his chair, and the other two take seats.)

Mario: Okie-dokie.... Where to begin?

BM: It's a simple question, I think.

Mario: ..... Then a simple answer, you shall get. When I created The Deity, it-a seems that, since his-a energy is-a the same as mine, most of our powers cancel out, when used against each other. That's-a how I plan to protect you, by lashing out with-a my own strength, and negating his.

BM: That was the simple answer? What's the complicated answer?

Mario: Too long for-a me to tell you. Next question.

Geno: Alright, then how does he beat you up?

Mario: (cough) Uh, he... He's-a just stronger than me, physically.

BM: .... That's kinda lame, isn't it?

Mario: You're telling me?

Geno: Then, can you at least tell us what's happening with Samus, right now?

Mario: Samus is- She will-a be fine, physically. No matter what, The Deity must heal all physical wounds. (under breath) I hope.

Geno: What was that?

Mario: Hm? Oh, I was just- uh- thinking about her emotional state. Samus is a tough woman, but I can't help but-a think of what he's-a doing to her.

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Somewhere within the mansion ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

TD: AaAaGgGgHhH!!! AH! Ah! Ah.... ahhhhhhh. . . . . .

Samus: ......

TD: Cigarette?

(With a thought, The Deity creates a cigarette, and lights the tip of his thumb. He holds the cigarette in front of Samus, who remains still.)

TD: What? Oh, give me some credit! I made Ridley leave, and I made this comfy bed for us. Isn't that worth something?

(Samus stares straight ahead, not moving. Tears stand in her eyes.)

TD: ..... Oh, I get it! Because I took away your precious virginity, you're all upset, is that it? Well then, allow me!

(Samus flinches when The Deity places a hand on Samus's bare skin, just below her navel. He presses down for a moment, making Samus gasp, then withdraws his hand.)

Samus: What did- ... What did you do?

TD: I thought that would be obvious. I healed you. Fresh as a daisy, you are. Well, actually, you would be, except...

(Samus flinches again when The Deity places his hand over her stomach.)

TD: ... You still have a part of me... in you. You know, it's a shame my powers have their limits, because if it were up to me...

(The Deity leans in real close, next to Samus's ear. Despite his lack of a mouth, when he speaks, Samus still feels breath.)

TD: ... in nine months, your humiliation would be complete.

(The Deity laughs a sinister laugh, and settles back.)

Samus: . . . . . You- you...

TD: Yes, me. .... Me, me, me...

Samus: .... It didn't work.

TD: What's that?

(Samus turns her head, and looks into The Deity's cold, empty eyes. The tears that were there a moment ago are gone.)

Samus: You haven't broken me. You can't break me. Would you like to know why?

(The Deity's eyes narrow. He somehow sneers.)

TD: Oh, please, do tell.

(Samus leans in real close to him, and speaks in a whisper.)

Samus: ... You are going to die, soon. I don't know when, but you will most certainly perish. So do what you want, whatever you want, with me, because you're going to die. Probably by my hands.

(The Deity glares at Samus, menacingly, but he is countered by the hard, unwavering determination of Samus. Finally, The Deity gets up, takes a couple steps away, and rounds on Samus.)

TD: Well then, I see that I'm going to have to try a little harder. You're about to learn, my dear, that I was being nice. You could have kept it that way, by being a good girl, and bowing to me, but NO, you had to go and defy me! Well guess what, Samus? You're about to experience something, far, far worse!

(Very suddenly, a multitude of thick tentacles sprout from his back, and grow to several feet in length.)

Samus: ..... That's it? Tentacles? Yawn.

(For an instant, The Deity looks shocked, then furious. Suddenly, he calms himself, and the tentacles retract.)

TD: You know what? You're right. This does seem a little boring. Perhaps... if I were to take a slightly different approach, you will become more amenable to my generosity.

(The Deity snaps his fingers. Ridley appears.)
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