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Smash Bros: Armageddon

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Judgment Angel Zero
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« on: 21 April, 2008, 05:10:43 pm »

I decided to give story writing another shot. This is my newest story, SSBA. Set one whole year after the events of SSBB. Please tell me what like and do not like, so that I may fix it in future chapters. (I already ch.1-5 written, so they will follow the format set in this chapter). Also, I'm sorry if this chapter is short. My hand was cramping, so I cut out a few unimportant details. (like the entire last two paragraphs.)

Super Smash Brothers: Armageddon
By: Judgment Angel Zero



-----Chapter 1-----
   Two figures approached each others in a familiar stadium, suspended in the air above a beautiful, hilly, green field. The figures took a fighting stance, about to engage in combat. One of them wore an unmistakable red cap, with the famous "M" emblem in the middle, and a bushy moustache sat on his lips. It's Mario! His opponent, a blue, anthropomorphic hedgehog with cool green eyes and trendy red shoes. Sonic's his name, speed's his game!
   The crowd roared with excitement as the competitors faced their audience and gave an appreciative wave. In the front row sat some special guests from the video game world. Peach, Zelda, Kirby, Luigi, Yoshi, Tails, Knuckles, Fox, and Pikachu. Each of them viewing the fight for nearly the same reason. To see the very first clash of the two biggest icons of this world. The biggest event of the year was about to ensue in this very stadium, and bnearly everyone wanted to view it..
   On the opposite side of the crowd, sat a cloaked figure. His sickly green skin could be seen under the hood he wore on his head. He sat with his legs folded, holding a strange cylindrical device in his fist. A twisted smile formed on the face of the man. It seemed as if he were plotting something.
   Back on the fighting arena, a Kooparee (Koopa Referee) walked between the two combatants. After reciting the rules, he waved his green flag and exited the arena, indicating the beginning of the battle. Wasting no time, Sonic ran full speed at his mustachioed opponent. Mario, shocked at Sonic's speed, just barely had time to jump away. Around Mario, blue and red streaks whizzed by, each getting closer and closer to hitting Mario, who only ever had time to dodge. Mario could no longer odge Sonic's blazing attacks, and was hit full force with a spin dash to the chest, sending the plumber flying back. Sonic pursued his soaring opponent with a spin dash again. Mario predicted this, landed on his feet, and lashed out his cape, sending Sonic heading to the opposite direction. Sonic came to a screeching halt, trying to analyze what had just happened. Mario took advantage of Sonic's brief moment of confusion and gave Sonic his best puch to the head. Sonic fell to the ground in shock, he was not accustomed to being hit often. As he got up, Sonic whipped around his legs, kicking Mario in the jaw, and pushing him to the ground. Sonic followed up with a spin dash that sent Mario flying upward. Sonic followed his foe into the air, but was not quick enough. Mario had just enough time to deliver a kick to Sonic's gut, shooting the hedgehog into the ground. This battle had only just begun, and it was already filled with intense action.
   Meanwhile, the cloaked figure in the stands waited ever so patiently, just waiting to make his move....................
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« Reply #1 on: 21 April, 2008, 08:47:44 pm »

i want more! who's the cloaked guy, anyway?
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"The question isnít who is going to let me; itís who is going to stop me." ~ Ayn Rand
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« Reply #2 on: 21 April, 2008, 09:03:37 pm »

i want more! who's the cloaked guy, anyway?
I thought it would be obvious, but he will make himself known in Chapter 2. Or Three. I have to compensate for the two paragraphs I lost in Chapter 1.
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« Reply #3 on: 21 April, 2008, 09:10:02 pm »

*shakes* *twitches in seat and rocks up and down*

Scourgescourgescourgescourgescourgescourge
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Judgment Angel Zero
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« Reply #4 on: 21 April, 2008, 09:12:53 pm »

Sorry.
Ike's in the story though! Grin
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« Reply #5 on: 21 April, 2008, 09:22:04 pm »

yarz!!
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« Reply #6 on: 22 April, 2008, 03:44:55 pm »

I give it a (b '_') It looks to much like a wall of text though and its kinda unappealing(sp?) IMO
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Judgment Angel Zero
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« Reply #7 on: 22 April, 2008, 05:48:40 pm »

-----Chapter 2-----
   The Great Fox, flying base of operations for the StarFox mercenary team, was flying over the clear skies of Corneria city. Falco, a member of Star Fox, volunteered to watch over the Great Fox, while Fox was attending the match with Mario and Sonic. Business was slow in the Great Fox. This was fortunate for team Star Fox, because they have been very busy for a long time, and what they wanted most was to rest. Beneath the Great Fox, Corneria was in a state of peace, and tranquility, leisurely going about it's business, worry free. Little did Star Fox, and the citizens of Corneria know, their peace was going to be disturbed.

   Inside the pilot's room of the Great Fox, Falco slept in a comfortable rotating chair, feet propped up on to the control panel for the Great Fox. Because of the many missions Star Fox had recently, Falco was exhausted, and was enjoying his nap while he had the Great Fox on auto pilot. He was really hoping that he doesn't recieve any missions any time soon, that would only add to the team's stress. Unfortunately for Falco, his rest was soon disturbed by a very soft alarm noise being emitted from a small speaker on the control. He jolted up, surprised by the alarm, and took a glance at a small screen on the control panel. The screen read "Call Incoming From: General Pepper." Falco groaned in disappointed. Missions from General Pepper, respected general of the Cornerian Fleet, were almost always long and stressful, involving evil maniacs hellbent on ruling the universe. He hesitantly reached for a red button next to the screen, ready to pick up the call, but reached for his cell phone instead.

   "It's probably a good idea to call Fox first," Falco stated to himelf as he dialed Fox's number into his cell. Falco wanted to make sure that Fox knew about General Pepper's call before accepting the mission. "If I don't call him, Fox'll probably take his sweet time getting back here, knowing him," Falco thought. Falco pressed "enter" and waited for Fox to pick up, but the answering machine came on almost automatically. "Tch, he turned off his cell!" Falco said. The answering machine beeped, and Falco left a message to Fox. "Yo Fox, General Pepper's got a mission for us. After the match is done, get your butt back here ASAP. Oh, and I bought the match on Pay Per View if you don't mind..."

   After leaving his message, Falco pressed the flashing red button. On the small screen, appeared the face of General Pepper. "What is it, Old Dog?"
"Falco, I would like to ask you and Fox to head over to the Cornerian Fleet Base." Pepper replied.
"Just us two?" asked Falco, confused. He figured it was a huge mission, but if it's only him and Fox.... "Sorry General, Fox won't be here for a while..." Falco reported. The General sighed. "Oh well," Pepper said, "We have that special operative that was sent here to assist us any way. Just come down here yourself. It's not really a huge issue."

   " 'Special Operative'?" Falco thought, but before he could ask any thing, General Pepper cut off communications. Shrugging, Falco left the control room, and went to find Slippy. He found Slippy working in the docking bay of the Great Fox. "Whatcha up to, Slip?" Falco asked. Slippy stopped what he was doing, and turned torward Falco, throwing a blanket over the machine he was working on. "Ummm..." Slippy started, "You have to keep it secret, but I'm working on building us some awesome Arwings, since I heard Star Wolf was making an upgraded form of the Wolfen." Falco was surprised that Slippy was working so hard during thier rest period. "Hey, that's great, Slip. Listen, I have to head out for a while. I wan't you to watch the Great Fox while I'm gone. I probably won't be back for a while. Oh, and don't delete the match on Pay Per View, or I'll see to it that we have Frog's legs for dinner!" said Falco. "Roger," replied Slippy. With that, Falco boarded his Arwing and flew for the Cornerian Fleet's base.

   Meanwhile, the match at Midair Stadium continued. Blurs of blue ripped across the arena, as Mario did his best to dodge and hit his opponent. The occasional fireball made it's way across the stage as well. The fight had been going on for nearly two hours, yet it didn't seem as though either fighter was going to quit. They seemed perfectly fine, despite two grueling hours of brawl! They were absolutely determined to beat their opponent, and please the crowd at the same time. At last, a Smash Ball had appeared just above the two fighters, and the battle shifted into a race for the Smash Ball! This was just the moment the cloaked man had waited for! He jumped into the stadium unnoticed, by the two Brawlers and flew torwards the Smash Ball.

Sonic reached the Smash Ball first, and he shouted with glee. But his excitement was soon disrupted as he roared in pain, and fell to the ground, covered in flames of darkness, as the cloaked man kicked him to the ground. When Sonic hit the ground, the smash ball flew out of him, and to Mario, who wasted no time breaking it. The cloaked man was too quick, however, and chokeslammed Mario into the ground almost instantly, causing the smash ball to fly into the cloaked man's large hand. The mysterious intruder removed his cloak, revealing himself to be the king of evil himself, Ganondorf! Ganondorf let out a sinister chuckle, and slammed the cylindrical device he was holding into the ground, creating a dark rift in the area he placed it. Ganondorf took a look at the two defeated competitors, and then at the booing crowdand laughed maniacally as he entered the portal and disappeared from sight. His laughter echoed across the roaring stadium as the portal closed on itself...

   Ganondorf had stolen a Smash Ball, but for what purpose? And why did he not break it, like normally done? What was his plan? The answers, soon to come.
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Judgment Angel Zero
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« Reply #8 on: 22 April, 2008, 05:50:59 pm »

I give it a (b '_') It looks to much like a wall of text though and its kinda unappealing(sp?) IMO
Yeah, I'm sorry about the wall of text appearance. I tried my best to fix that in this most recent chapter.

What do you mean by unappealing though? If you tell me, I can find a way to make it more...Appealing.
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« Reply #9 on: 22 April, 2008, 06:20:10 pm »

i think its good but could be better somehow
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« Reply #10 on: 22 April, 2008, 06:27:35 pm »

i think its good but could be better somehow
Thanks.

Curse these very vague criticisms!
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« Reply #11 on: 05 June, 2008, 05:51:21 pm »


-----Chapter 3-----
   A mysterious, orange space vessel landed in a dark, swampy forest. Dark shades of purple painted the forest, strange liquids oozed form the umbrella-like trees. From the ship, emerged Samus, armor clad bounty hunter. She scanned the area, and made her way through a narrow pathway. The only light in this forest came from the very few glowing insects, so Samus needed to use her visor to light up the jungle. It seemed as if a light drizzle constantly fell from the trees. After a few minutes of exploration, Samus had come across a lake, with a strange cave on the other side. Scans told her that this lake was filled with poisonous acids that could potentially melt through her suit. However, in that cave lied her objective, so she couldn't let some lake keep her from completing her mission. She expertly shot her grapple beam across the lake and onto the top of the cave, allowing the bounty hunter to zip across the cave unscathed.

Inside this cave was some sort of secret underground laboratory. Covering the walls to the right and left, were giant, glass, cylinderical chambers, containing a strange, green fluid. Inside some of these chambers were smash balls, much to Samus's surprise. The ones that didn't contain smash balls seemed to be carrying corpses of space pirates, in them. "What was the point of carrying around these corpses in those chambers?" Samus thought silently, "What kind of research is being done here? Smash Balls, dead bodies? Hmmm...." In the middle of the laboratory, was a wealth of computers lined in rows, containing research concerning the contents of the test tubes. Samus began to read the text on one of the computers. It was a summary of the events of the Subspace Emmisary one year ago. "That's strange," stated Samus to herself...

   Suddenly, Samus heard a noise that sounded like a gun shot. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw one of the Smash Balls in the glass containers break. Not even a second after, all the power in the facility went out, except for the giant glowing test tubes. "This can't be good..." Samus sighed. One of the test containers containing a dead body turned red. A piercing shriek came from the corpse, as it was somehow ressurected. The undead pirate shrieked hideously as it thrashed around it's reinforced prison, desperately trying to escape before it drowned on the fluids it was being held in. Samus quickly silenced it with a few beam shots, in order to prevent having to fight the pirate while it was at full strength.

   "Damnit," Samus said frustratedly. How was she going to get the research she needed to retrieve now? Without power, she couldn't get any bit of info. Suddenly, a soft tremor shook the room. Samus broke into one of the glass tubes and took a Smash Ball. She had a feeling she would need it later. With a Smash Ball in hand, Samus headed into the next room..........

---

   Link, the Hero of the land of Hyrule, was riding his faithful steed Epona through a beautiful, green forest. He was merely taking a stroll really, with no real purpose set in mind but to enjoy a ride with Epona. However, this was going to turn out to be more than just a stroll. Link heard footsteps that did not match the foot steps of Epona. He came to a halt and listened closer. The foot steps stopped a second after. It was quite obvious to Link that some one was following him. He looked around and dismounted Epona, looking for the follower.

   Nothing. He saw no traces of anyone but him. Where had it gone? Suddenly, Epona neighed in fright as a large, bipedal, lizard-like creature descended from the sky, next to Epona. Epona ran off on her own, frightened, leaving Link behind to fend for himself. The lizard monster wielded a large, thin blade, and slowly approached Link. Link drew his Master Sword from it's sheath, and assumed a fighting stance...

---
   The next room took Samus into a long, winding cavern. The air was moist, and it smelled like damp moss. It was pitch black, only the light from Samus's visor lit the way. Eventually, Samus made it to an enormous dark room, with a narrow walkway hovering over the abyss below the room. "There's no way out but the way I came..." Samus remarked, "Maybe if I go down....Or...." She looked up, "If I ascended, I could get deeper into the cave..." She thought long and hard. It was already impossible to recieve the data she needed, seeing as how the lab she was just in had shut down. But there was just something too suspicious about this cave...Just as she decided to leave the room, the ground started trembling again. From the abyss, rose a large, towering creature. It had short, stubby arms with two claws on each hand, several eyes, and spike portruding along it's back and belly. Samus had fought this monster before, it was Kraid...

---
   Link unsheathed his sword from the lizard warrior's chest, and placed it back it's proper sheathe. The lizard warrior fell to it's knees, and then collapsed to the ground, slain. Link scanned his eyes across his surrounding's searching for a possible sign of the way out. He had remembered that before his battle that he was walking along a light patch of of dirt, but it seems that he got a bit off track while he was occupied fighting his opponent. Just then, he spotted a dark path. He couldn't help but satisfy his curiosity, and he trudged through the dark pathway.

   The new area he was in was lot different from the forest he was from...Dark, and filled with low, umbrella like trees...The only light came from his lantern, and the very few glowing insects in the proximity....

---
   Kraid and Samus stared eachother down. The air was thick with tension. Kraid growled a bit, Samus raised her arm cannon and took aim at her nemesis's forehead. Kraid roared and swung his arm at Samus. Samus jumped over the attack and fired several shots at Kraid. Kraid shook of the blast and opened his jaws wide, and tried to take a bite out of the bounty hunter. Samus dodged the attack and jumped on Kraid's head. Kraid's teeh clamped onto the narrow walkway, and destroyed a portion of it. Seized this oppurtunity to unload several missiles into her opponents face. Kraid instinctively clawed Samus off of his head, sending Samus crashing into a wall. Samus jumped from the wall and back onto the, now smaller, walkway. Kraid swiped at Samus a few times, Samus expertly dodging and then jumping into the air. Kraid breathed a stream of fire at his foe. Samus waxs unable to dodge it, and fell back onto the walkway. As she landed, Kraid's claw came crashing down on her.

   Samus laid on the ground, in pain, as Kraid prepared another breath of fire for her. Just before Kraid could attack, a thin, golden beam of light hit him, and trapped him inside of two golden triangle patterns. Link flew from the entrance that Samus came from earlier and ferociously slashed the helpless giant without end. Samus smashed the smash ball she was saving and took aim at Link and Kraid. When Link finished his merciless assault, Samus fired a gigantic blue laser from her arm cannon, blasting Kraid in the face. Kraid roared in pain and descended into the abyss below. Link landed onto the walkway as Samus's powersuit broke into pieces, leaving her in her blue zero suit. She looked up at Link, and smiled, "Thank you, Link. You really saved me back there."

   Together, they exited the cave.
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Judgment Angel Zero
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« Reply #12 on: 09 June, 2008, 05:44:29 pm »

Comment, darn it!
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« Reply #13 on: 11 June, 2008, 01:41:15 pm »

Confusing part is you posted Link's adventure twice in a row.
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Judgment Angel Zero
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« Reply #14 on: 11 June, 2008, 03:20:25 pm »

Confusing part is you posted Link's adventure twice in a row.
*Checks*

Poop.
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