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AoB Gaiden: Shadow of Corruption (Complete)

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Author Topic: AoB Gaiden: Shadow of Corruption (Complete)  (Read 1696 times)
BlueAnnihilator
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« Reply #75 on: 12 July, 2008, 01:17:21 pm »

*The group quickly heads back to Gene's store. They go inside to find Gene tapping his desk with a scowl on his face, along with hundreds of undelivered packages behind him*

Blue: *panting* Gene, we're sorry!!

Gene: Blue...

Lilia: We didn't mean to do it!

Gene: Lilia...

Jawo: Yeah uhm..something just came up and..!

Gene: Jawo...

Blue: So, how about we deliver those packages, huh? Eh heh heh...

Gene: You know what's coming, don't you?

Blue: *gulp* Yes...

Gene: YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!

*The group cringes at the roar of Gene's voice*

Blue: *sigh* Oh man...

Gene: But regardless, here's your pay.

*Gene hands them each a bag full of gold coins*

Gene: NOW GET OUT!!!

Blue: Yikes!

*The group leaves the store. They look through the window to see Gene put up a help wanted sign as he glares at them with intense fury*

Blue: *sigh* Let's go.

*The group leaves the vicinity of the store and then checks their earnings*

Blue: Hm...

Jawo: So how about it, Blue?

Lilia: Did we earn enough money?

Blue: Yes! We did!

Lilia: *gasp* Really!?

Blue: Yeah! We've finally gotten enough to start travelling again!

Lilia/Jawo: YES!!

*The two share a high five*

Blue: Jawo, thanks..for your help.

Jawo: Huh?

Lilia: Yeah, I guess we'll be seeing ya.

Jawo: Wait, what are you talking about?

Blue: Uhm..aren't you leaving us now?

Jawo: Are you kidding me? No way!

Lilia: But..you told us that you were a Promotion's something something of a company.

Jawo: You're right, I am. What of it?

Blue: Then don't you think you should get back to them?

Jawo: I should, but...I'm not. It's true, it's an important job, but they can manage without me. Besides, traveling with you two just too much fun to give up!

Lilia: So that means...you wanna come with us?

Jawo: Yeah! That is...if you'll have me.

Lilia: Well, I have no objections. What about you, Blue?

Blue: ...

Jawo: Eh?

Blue: ...Sure. Be our companion, Jawo.

Jawo: Alright! Now you're talkin my language!

Lilia: It's good to have you with us, Jawo. It's a lot of fun having you around, so I'm glad you decided to stay.

Jawo: Of course! Though, even if Blue had said no, I would've came anyway! Hahaha!

Blue: Hmph.

Jawo: So, where are we going now, huh?

Blue: Who knows?

Jawo: What?

Lilia: We just go wherever the wind takes us, isn't that right Blue?

Blue: Exactly right, Lilia.

Jawo: Aw, well that's lame. I wanted to go on another journey!

Blue: You're a little too eager to start trouble, Jawo...

Lilia: Well, as they say, a new day brings new adventure!

Jawo: Hmm, a new day brings new adventure, huh? I like the sound of that, Lilia! Those are definitely words to live by.

Lilia: Yeah, besides, trouble always seems to follow Blue wherever he goes. So I reckon it's only a matter of time before something starts again.

Blue: Hey, what's that supposed to mean, Lilia!?

Lilia: Oh, I think you know, Blue. Heehee.

Jawo: Now that you mention, that DOES seem to happen, doesn't it? Oh man, I'm never leaving your side now, Blue!

*Jawo grins and puts his arm around Blue*

Jawo: Hehehe!

Blue: Uhm...Jawo? ...I don't like that look on your face...

Lilia: Come on, guys! There's a whole world out there for us to explore! So let's get started!

Jawo: Yeah! A new day brings new adventure, right?

Lilia: Right!

Jawo: That's so going to be our new phrase.

*Both Lilia and Jawo run ahead of Blue*

Blue: Hey wait! W-where are you going!?

Lilia: Hurry up, Blue!

Jawo: Yeah, or we'll leave you behind!

Blue: *sigh* Why do these things always happen to me?

*Blue hurries to catch up with Lilia and Jawo*

Blue: *to himself* A new day....brings new adventure. ..I'm starting to take a liking to that myself...


And this is where we bring this story to a close. After a long and painful journey, Blue, with the help of his trusting friends, finally puts an end to Mephiles the Dark and his vengeful grudge. The group now sets off into the unknown, joined again by Jawo, though not as an antagonist, but as a friend. Wherever their travels take them, they'll always know one thing...

A new day brings new adventure.

The End



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BlueAnnihilator
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« Reply #76 on: 13 July, 2008, 12:59:15 pm »

*Character Profiles (Part 2)*

Name: ?? "Jawo" ?? (Keeps real name a secret, but Blue and friends know of it)

Age: 21

Occupation: Promotions Head Leader of an unspecified company

Weapon: Crystallic Sword

Height: 6'0"

Weight: 180lbs

Blood Type: Doesn't know

Hobbies: Playing Cards, battle-rapping.

Appearance: Caucasian, medium length brown hair with blond ends. Wears a white T-shirt, black pants, and white shoes. Also wears a white hat.

Description: Jawo is a promotions head leader of an unspecified company (Probably Sprite), who joins Blue in his quest to uncover the truth behind the IL Guild's sinister scheme.

First meeting Blue way back in the first story, Jawo appeared as an antagonist to hinder his plans for world domination. After Blue reforms his ways, Jawo instead remains a bitter rival towards him and seeked to challenge him to a duel to see who's truly better, badly enough that he even opted to travel alongside him to get that chance. But he soon forgets all about it, and as the adventure goes on the rivalry between to the two begins to blossom into a friendship.

A very brash and hot headed man, Jawo is always the first to jump into action when there's fighting to be done, and as such is the most competent fighter of the group. Though sometimes his eagerness leads the group into more trouble than they bargained for. He can also be very emotional and often tries to hide his more "un-manly" displays from the group. Though his attempts always prove unsuccessful, to which the others ridicule him for.

Despite his shortcomings, Jawo is a determined and fiercely loyal friend. Willing to sacrifice anything and everything for their sake.




Name: Collin Maeger

Age: 12 (deceased)

Occupation: Novice-level bounty hunter, President of the ILS Fan Club

Weapon: Jupiter Psynergy (Wields no actual weapon)

Height: 4'10

Weight: 102 lbs

Blood Type: A+

Hobbies: Weather reading, playing Chess, following ILS

Description: Collin is but one of a group of trainee hunters assigned under ILS to assist him in capturing Blue. He later joins Blue in his quest after he sees that ILS had done the same. Collin is a very meek and timid boy, seemingly lacking any kind of physical ability, and constantly cowering at the sight of danger. Though even still, he always tries his best to help out.

Collin looks up to ILS and deeply idolizes him, having joined the bounty hunters so he could become as great a hunter as he is. As such, he is ecstatic when he is first assigned to work with him and pledges to do all in his power to make ILS proud of him. His devotion to ILS is unshakable, and he'll go to any length to see him safe and happy.

It is later revealed that Collin is an Adept of the Jupiter Alignment, those who can manipulate the power of wind and lightning using only their mind. He shows his power when the group comes up against the fearsome ILX, an opponent who can read the muscle movements of his enemies. In a rare moment of courage, Collin opts to fight ILX by hiself, being the only one that can deal with his special ability. And despite his lack of combat prowess, Collin triumphs over ILX and proves himself as a capable fighter.

Though shortly after, Collin sacrifices his life to save ILS from a deadly strike by the summoned creature Agaranok. As his life bled away, ILS finally acknowledged Collin as being a greater hero than he could ever be, fulfilling his one and greatest desire.



More to come. And if anybody could help with Bass' info, that'd be great. >_>




« Last Edit: 13 July, 2008, 01:38:07 pm by BlueAnnihilator » Report Spam   Logged


BlueAnnihilator
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« Reply #77 on: 13 July, 2008, 05:39:05 pm »

*Omissions and Changes*

- ILS was going to join the group in his "Sli" persona when he first met back up with them in Huran City in order to remain incognito and regain their trust. He also was not reveal himself until they reached the headquarters, to which the group would respond by saying they knew it was him the whole time.

- ILJ was not going to be Rachel, but just a ordinary high level female hunter that fights the group twice. Once in Baldovain City and the other in the northern base. After losing the second time, she would reveal the location of the Official and not join up with the group.

- Thus the result of that would lead to every scene involving her never happening. (IE, No Rachel and Jawo kiss scene)

- The "Substitute Teacher" Arc wasn't going to happen at all.

- Collin wasn't going to join the group, but instead remain hopelessly loyal to the bounty hunters and get easily beaten in another encounter.

- Thus, every scene where he plays a major role would've never happened. Expect the bridge scene, where instead, Jawo would've saved Blue and Lilia.

- I intended to have a fight scene between Blue and Jawo, but I didn't know why or how to work it in there, so I left it out.

- Collin was going to use PSI powers, instead of Jupiter Psynergy. But, I thought that was cheesy, so I opted for the later.

- The night before the group was going to journey to Neo Jahannam, Jawo was going to betray the group and go over to Mephiles' side. When the group reached Mephiles' lair, Jawo would've turned back, revealing it to have been a double double cross. But I didn't know exactly what he'd do it for, so I left out.

- Zeldafan wasn't going to teach Blue Prism Sword, but instead was going to have already known it, but lacked the confidence to use it. But I thought, why not let her do something else. I always think of Zeldafan as the trusty utility girl.

- I also intended for Jawo to recieve mortal wounds during the Mephiles fight and then succumb to death after it was over. Resulting in a very emotional scene.

- And lastly, as the original plot, Mephiles was going to instead assume the form of the King and reinstate the bounty on Blue, having both the kingdom knights and the all the bounty hunters under his control.

*Also some things I didn't intend to happen, but thought about*

- Collin living through the journey and joining Blue for good at the end.

- A flip flop in which ILS was the one to die protecting Collin from Agaranok.

- Jawo receiving an invitation to join Blue and Lilia at the end, but refusing. Wanting to travel on his own instead.

*Some other stuff*

- After the first usage, I had forgotten all about Jawo's Chaos Control...

- I really REALLY hate sword users. Thinking of original moves for them is near impossible. When I was in the planning stages of the story, I imagined Jawo using a bo staff. But instead of just giving him that, I asked him what his weapon was, and he just HAD to say a sword. So to make things easier on myself, I thought about the crystal, and had him use it for some crazy techniques instead of just hacking and slashing, which he rarely does.

- It's also the reason why ILS either

1. Loses very quickly or..
2. Doesn't fight at all.

Aaaaand, that's all. Feel free to post any comments/questions if you want.
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« Reply #78 on: 13 July, 2008, 05:57:42 pm »

You would be surprised at the kinds of techniques one can come up with for sword users.

-Sword Pressure Techniques: Sword techniques that allow one to attack from a distance with the air itself
-Speed Based Techniques: Techniques that use the sword/swords in a particularly fast manner, such as Sword Rain, a fast barrage of thrusts, or Brook's Three-verse Humming: Arrow Notch Strike, a super fast slash that takes a while for the opponent to even realize they were slashed.
-Power Based Techniques: Really powerful sword slashes and thrusts
-Combo based technique: Unique combinations of sword maneuvers.
Non-swordsmanship related powers that one combines with swordsmanship: Like for example, a pyrokinetic that combines their fire powers with their sword attacks.
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« Reply #79 on: 13 July, 2008, 11:32:09 pm »

See, that's exactly what I mean though. All of that has been done before. It's not the coming up with techniques that's the problem, it's coming up with ORIGINAL ones. When everybody and their grandma swings a blade, you just start to run out of viable ideas.

It's become so stale that the only way I could be original was by having Jawo not even attack with the actual blade.

No offense to you of course, because I know swords are your thing, but I personally like to steer clear of them.
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« Reply #80 on: 13 July, 2008, 11:34:29 pm »

Hey, I come up with original sword techniques. I'll admit, it is harder, but possible. It helps to have a sword with unique properties, like Jawo's.

For example, my "Sword Armageddon" technique. After summoning exactly 42 swords and positioning them around an opponent, my character uses magnetism to first levitate the swords, then zoom them in on the opponent from all sides.
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« Reply #81 on: 13 July, 2008, 11:46:23 pm »

Yeah, I know. Jawo told me that his sword was made out of crystallized Sprite (blech) but I decided instead to turn that around and make into something cool, thus, the crystal (no Sprite) manipulating sword.

And don't you see how drawn out and elaborate you had to make that technique just for it to be original? I'll pass on that, thanks. My brain is wracked enough already.  Undecided
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« Reply #82 on: 13 July, 2008, 11:48:27 pm »

<_< But...it's a cool move!

With swords, and more swords...and a Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Reference!

But yeah, I agree. Martial arts and element manipulation is much easier to design moves for.
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« Reply #83 on: 13 July, 2008, 11:57:11 pm »

And it's more fun to do fights for too, imo. Because when a character has an unconventional style of fighting, the possibilities go a long way, and you never know what to expect.

But with sword users, it's almost always...

*clangclash*

"Ha, I blocked it!"

"Ah ha! I'm behind you! Let me stab you now!"

"You missed! Ha ha!"

"Then I'll just do the same thing again!"
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« Reply #84 on: 14 July, 2008, 12:28:37 am »

At least my character mixes things up.

"Ha! I blocked you!"

"Ok, then I'm going to spin around, slash at you again, and when you inevitably block it, I'm going to use my momentum to continue forward and punch you in the jaw! Therefore opening you up to a quick stab with my sword!"

*made that entire maneuver on the spot*
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« Reply #85 on: 14 July, 2008, 06:57:34 am »

Uh....

If you're looking to expand my moveset for later stories, you could throw in some combinations with that water ring I still possess.
Just another friendly suggestion from me... Grin


Also, ZF was actually reading the story too?
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« Reply #86 on: 14 July, 2008, 05:52:34 pm »

At least my character mixes things up.

"Ha! I blocked you!"

"Ok, then I'm going to spin around, slash at you again, and when you inevitably block it, I'm going to use my momentum to continue forward and punch you in the jaw! Therefore opening you up to a quick stab with my sword!"

*made that entire maneuver on the spot*

Well you just keep up the good work then, ZF. I'll leave the swordplay in your hands. >_>

Uh....

If you're looking to expand my moveset for later stories, you could throw in some combinations with that water ring I still possess.
Just another friendly suggestion from me... Grin


Also, ZF was actually reading the story too?

Well now that you mention it, I was starting to run dry on the crystal techniques. Maybe I'll do a little studying on how crystal reacts to water and work with that.

And I guess she was. Though I wasn't quite aware of it.
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« Reply #87 on: 15 July, 2008, 01:55:32 pm »

Well, of course I was reading it! I love Blue's stories!

And before you ask Blue, I'm working on the next episode of my story. I have some of it typed, but I keep on getting writer's block. T-T
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« Reply #88 on: 15 July, 2008, 02:02:06 pm »

Well, of course I was reading it! I love Blue's stories!

And before you ask Blue, I'm working on the next episode of my story. I have some of it typed, but I keep on getting writer's block. T-T

Huzzah! I've been waiting ages for that thing. You took so long that I was able to finish my entire story beforehand. >_>
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« Reply #89 on: 15 July, 2008, 02:05:59 pm »

I knew how I wanted it to start, and I know the end....I'm just not sure how I want to connect the two sections. It's the middle part that has me stuck! Curse you middle part!
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