AoB Special: Adventures of Blue: The Movie (Complete)

*The next morning, the group awakens bright and early for the next scene. Mizuna hands out scripts to everyone but ILS*

Mizuna: Here you go, guys.

ILS: Aw, I don't get one?

Mizuna: I'm afraid not, ILS. But don't worry, this isn't your kind of thing anyhow.

ILS: What's that supposed to mean?

Mizuna: You'll see.

*Mizuna walks away*

ILS: Well that was cryptic...

*Blue shuffles through his script*

Blue: Hm...Blueback Mountain. I wonder what that's about.

Jawo: Mm...sounds pretty awkward to me. But hey, at least we get to be cowboys! Woot!

Lilia: Look, Rachel! We get to be their wives!

Rachel: We do? Oh, it says here that I'm Jawo's wife. Cool!

Jawo: Huh!? Uhm...

*Jawo's face turns bright red*

Rachel: Oh calm down, silly! It's just acting. We're not really married. Ha ha! That's just plain ridiculous!

Jawo: Oh...right...*sigh*

*Zeldafan walks in*

Blue: Hey, Zeldafan. You got our costumes, right?

Zeldafan: You guessed it, Blue. They're all ready for you!

Jawo: Didja hear? We get to play cowboys. Isn't that cool?

Zeldafan: *stifles laughter* Y-yeah. Real cool.

Blue: Hm?

Zeldafan: Ahahahahahahahah!!!

Jawo: Hey! What's the big idea, huh?

Zeldafan: *muffles laugh* N-nothing! Heehee. Round em up, cowboys!

*Zeldafan walks off*

Zeldafan: Ahahahahahaaaaaaaa!

Jawo: Mmmn, that girl really chaps my hide...

Blue: Eh, don't worry about it. We should go get dressed.

*Blue and co. head to the dressing rooms and get suited up for the upcoming scene. When they come out, Blue and Jawo are wearing cowboy outfits, while Lilia and Rachel are wearing old western style dresses*

Blue: Well..this isn't as cool as I thought it'd be...

Jawo: What are you talking about Blue? These suits are great! Yeehaa!! Ride em cowboy!

Blue: The only thing riding are these pants into my crotch...Yeesh...

*Blue and co. head out in front of the camera and prepare for the start of the scene. Meanwhile, Bob sits in his directors chair and gets ready to explain the scene to the group*

Bob: *Ahem* So in this scene, a personal favorite of mine, I might add, we have Blue and Jawo, two homosexual lovers--

Blue/Jawo: Two what!?!?

Lilia: Oh dear...

Rachel: Eugh...

ILS: Whew. I'm glad it wasn't me.

Bob: You heard me. I said you're both lovers. Got a problem with that?

Jawo: Well what do you think!? You can't ask us to do this! It's gross! Asinine! I won't do it...

Blue: Jawo, you're not being very respectful...

Jawo: Huh? Last time I checked, you weren't very happy about it either, Blue.

Blue: Yeah, but not for that reason. I'm just outraged because it has nothing to do with anything!

Bob: Oh yes it does!

Blue: Oh yeah? Then what?

Bob: Just like every good story needs a dragon and princess, an epic ninja battle, and an evil mastermind; a good story also needs a controversial scene. It's a secret to making big bucks at the box office.

Jawo: Yeah, well it's stupid. And I'm not doing it. Go get ILS or something.

ILS: NOOOOOOOO!

Bob: ILS isn't doing it! YOU ARE!

Jawo: Oh yeah? Who's going to make me?

Rachel: Jawo...

Jawo: R-R-Rachel!

Rachel: Please do this for us.

Jawo: But Rachel, you know I can't...

Rachel: Please!? For me...?

*Rachel begins to shed tears*

Jawo: Oh geez...Fine! But there better not be any funny business!

Rachel: Yay! I knew you could! Mmwah!

*Rachel kisses Jawo on the cheek*

Jawo: Aye...*smiles*

Bob: Okay, so Blue and Jawo are homosexual--

Zeldafan: Bisexual.

Bob: What?

Zeldafan: They're bisexual lovers. Geez.

Bob: Are you serious?

Zeldafan: Yes.

Bob: Urgh, whatever...

Zeldafan: *sigh* That just goes to show you the invisibility of bisexual experience and the level of biphobia in both the mainstream and gay media.

Bob: Oh shut up. Anyway, as I was saying. Blue and Jawo are bisexual lovers who're keeping their affair a secret from their wives, Lilia and Rachel. One day, Lilia discovers the truth, and decides to confront Blue about it. And that's where we start this scene.

Mizuna: *Ahem* Blueback Mountain: Take 1. ...Action! *snap*

Blue: Honey, I'm about to go fishing with Jawo. I'll be back in time for dinner.

Lilia: Oh no you don't!

Blue: Huh?

Lilia: I know what these fishing trips are all about. You're not really fishing. You're just going to have kissy time with Jawo! Admit it!

Blue: I don't know what you're talking about...

Lilia: Oh stop. I've known this for months, Blue. You've been cheating on me with another man! Hoohoohoo! *cries*

Blue: Lilia, it's not like that! I mean..I..we...

Lilia: Just..get out of here! Go to your..your Jawo!

Blue: Hmph..well fine! I will! At least he doesn't treat me like this!

*Blue storms out of the door. Afterwards, he meets up with Jawo. Blue then runs up and hugs him, much to his chagrin*

Jawo: Egh, hey! Get off me!! *push*

Blue: Oof! Why you...

Bob: JAWO!!!

Jawo: Oh...my bad...

*Blue then hugs Jawo a second time, to which he reluctantly allows*

Jawo: Eugh...

Blue: Are you ready to go?

Jawo: To our special place? Sure.

Bob: Cut! Okay, that could've gone better, but it was alright. Now let's set up for the next scene!

*Bob snaps his fingers, taking the group to the top of a mountain, where there lies a small tent*

Bob: Alright, in this next scene, Blue and Jawo head into that little tent there, where they make sweet sweet love to eachother.

Blue/Jawo: Huh!?!?

Zeldafan: Do they really!? Oh this is better than Naru/Sasu doujin! <3

Jawo: Okay, the hugging was one thing, but this is another. There's no way I'm doing this.

Rachel: But Jawo--

*Jawo howls in Rachel's face*

Jawo: NO!!!!

Rachel: *shooken up* O-okay...

Bob: Oh relax. Trust me, you guys won't be doing a thing. All you have to do is go into the tent and that's all.

Jawo: Are you sure...?

Bob: Yes. Now let's begin!

Mizuna: *Ahem* Blue and Jawo have sex--

Jawo: No we don't!!!

Mizuna: Fine then, Mr. Grumpy. Blue and Jawo...do nothing. Take 1. ...Action!

*Blue and Jawo head inside the small tent and begin to wait patiently*

Blue: Well this is awkward...

Jawo: Tell me about it.

Blue: Oh hey..what's this thing?

*Blue picks up a condom from the tent floor*

Blue: It's kinda stretchy...is it a toy?

Jawo: Blue, you're so dense. That's not what it's for!

Blue: Then what?

Jawo: Uhm...I'll tell you when you're older.

Blue: But I'm 17!

Jawo: When you're older!!! ....Hn?

Blue: What's the matter?

Jawo: Hey, wait a minute!

*Jawo bursts out the tent*

Jawo: Bob!!

Bob: Huh?

Jawo: Who's the wiseguy that poked a hole in the condom!?

Bob: Are you kidding me? Who would d-- The sabotager!!

Zeldafan: Yikes! He's trying to kill us with AIDS!

Bob: Ho ho ho! Silly him. He should know that nobody really does the nasty in these movies. ...Well..unless it's ****...

*Meanwhile....*

??: Curses! Argh, that's it! I'm going to destroy them myself next time!