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Pop Culture Showdown Day 11: Jack Bauer vs. Deadpool

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Gaffit
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« on: 19 December, 2008, 09:56:12 pm »

You know how this goes. Vote for who you think would win in an all-out battle to the death.

Feel free to discuss fighting styles and tactics in order to sway those who may be on the fence as to who to vote for. After the polls are closed, I will spend a day writing out a battle between the two combatants and post it in the next showdown topic, with the winner being decided by the winner of the poll. If you would like to suggest a location for the battle, feel free to do so.

If anyone feels like they absolutely have to write out a battle themselves, feel free to send me what you have in mind, and I'll probably enjoy the day off. 

Now then, on to battle!

Jack Bauer



Jack Bauer: 24: A highly trained U.S. government agent with years of experience and specialization in the Counter-Terrorism-Unit. His proficiency with weapons is unmatched along with his resistance to interrogation. He has been on multiple occasions deemed the perfect agent, and has saved the world a countless number of times. A true all-american hero, Jack Bauer doesn’t die easily.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Bauer

Deadpool



Deadpool: Marvel Comics: Everyone’s favorite Anti-Hero, Deadpool was a cancer-riddled prisoner who volunteered for the Weapon X program, being injected with Wolverine’s mutation, granting him a healing factor as extensive as Wolverine’s, though the process rendered him insane. He has also gained a number of various abilities throughout his misadventures, including teleportation, telepathic immunity, the ability to randomly produce weapons from thin air, cosmic awareness, and absolute immortality. Thanos cursed him with inability to ever die to keep him from his one true love, Death herself. With his latent insanity and skill with all weapons, Deadpool is a fighting hurricane, even going so far as to defeat Wolverine on multiple occasions.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deadpool_(comics)

Round 1:
Day 1: Bruce Lee vs. The Predator 10-9
Day 2: Adol Christins vs. D 1-13
Day 3: The Flash vs. Wolverine 9-6
Day 4: Rikuo vs. Luke Cage 2-12
Day 5: Omega Rugal vs. Baraka 11-2
Day 6: Mega Man vs. Darth Vader 5-9
Day 7: Rey Mysterio vs. Hulk Hogan 3-9
Day 8: Hiro Nakamura vs. Thor 5-11
Day 9: Lobo vs. Blackheart 7-5
Day 10: Kirby vs. Space Ghost 4-6
Day 11: Jack Bauer vs. Deadpool
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« Reply #1 on: 19 December, 2008, 09:56:44 pm »

“-And boy do we have a great show for you tonight folks, I’ve just been informed that John Malkovich will be making a guest appearance. Isn’t that just special?” Space Ghost said into the camera.

“And finally we’ll have a special surprise with-“ Space Ghost continued until a strange rumbling shook the studio. Space Ghost looked around in confusion as a star-shaped space ship crashed through the roof of the station.

The pink-blobbish form of Kirby leapt from the crashed vessel and coughed up some debris.

“Now just what the hell is going on here?” Space Ghost demanded, training his wrist blaster on the creature, “You realize you’re paying for that right?”

Kirby looked at Space Ghost and inflated himself up in the epitome of cuteness before releasing a booming, “HIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIII!”

“… Yeah… I’m gonna take that as an alien threat and react accordingly.” Space Ghost said as he unleashed a round of blaster rays at the pink blob who reacted quickly by dodging each.

Kirby’s face quickly became serious as he closed the distance between his enemy and himself and delivered a devastating kick to his chest, causing him to fly through the studio wall and into a nearby store room.

Kirby followed up the assault by sending a Final Cutter into the hole in the wall, but Space Ghost had teleported behind it and punted Kirby into a mass of filming equipment before turning invisible.

Recovering from the kick, Kirby attempted to get his bearings when blaster fire came from seemingly nowhere. Dodging the blaster fire as best it could, Kirby ran towards the blaster fire’s origin as flames enveloped his body turning into a ball of flame heading towards the interstellar officer. Space Ghost raised a force field in front of him which Kirby hit dead-on, becoming flat against the invisible field.

Kirby bounced off the shield and launched himself over it, landing behind Space Ghost as he opened his mouth and sucked the officer into his stomach.

“I don’t even want to know where I am right now do I?” Space Ghost asked from inside Kirby.

Space Ghost popped out of Kirby as it absorbed his power, donning his costume and gaining his wrist blasters. Kirby locked its blaster on Space Ghost and opened fire, taking the officer entirely by surprise.

Space Ghost was sent flying across the studio from the blaster fire as he landed painfully against a wall. Space Ghost came to his senses just in time to teleport away from another Final Cutter and reappearing behind Kirby, but the pink hero was ready for him this time and smacked the air behind him with an oversized hammer, smashing the officer in the face.

Space Ghost recoiled from the blow and flew high into the air above his opponent while charging his anti-matter ray. Space Ghost aimed his shot at Kirby and fired the deadly ray creating a massive explosion where it hit.

Kirby launched himself from the smoke having dodged the blast and flew at Space Ghost, placing itself directly above his opponent as it turned into a 10,000 ton stone above its opponent’s head. Space Ghost teleported away from the rock just in time to avoid being crushed and trained his anti-matter ray on his immobile opponent, not missing this time.

Space Ghost stood over the rubble that remained of his combatant and turned to his cameraman, “Please for the love of God Zorak, tell me you got that on tape.”

“Huh? What? Yeah! Ready to start filming when you are!” Zorak exclaimed waking up from his nap.
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« Reply #2 on: 19 December, 2008, 09:58:25 pm »

Is this a joke? Deadpool for sure.
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« Reply #3 on: 19 December, 2008, 09:59:18 pm »

Jack Bauer can find a weakspot on Deadpool, I'm sure of it.
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« Reply #4 on: 19 December, 2008, 10:00:00 pm »

Theoretically, with enough grenades Jack could....
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« Reply #5 on: 19 December, 2008, 10:00:15 pm »

Jack Bauer is way cooler than Deadpool and his overratedness.
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I SERIOUSLY DREAMT OF FLOYD BEING A KILLER CYBORG WHO RAN 10 TIMES FASTER THAN ANY NORMAL HUMAN, AND THEN KILLED MM, TURNED FEMALE, WENT AFTER ME, AND I DROPPED FROM THE SKYSCRAPER! IT HURTED, BUT I AWAKE CALMLY, THINKING I WOULDN'T SEE YOU AGAIN.
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« Reply #6 on: 19 December, 2008, 10:02:47 pm »

Even the epitome of American Action Film baddassery Arnold Schwarzenegger would have a tough time with Jack Bauer, you don't **** with him.
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« Reply #7 on: 19 December, 2008, 10:04:39 pm »

American movie star Dirty Harold could take him though.
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Floyd is the devil.
I SERIOUSLY DREAMT OF FLOYD BEING A KILLER CYBORG WHO RAN 10 TIMES FASTER THAN ANY NORMAL HUMAN, AND THEN KILLED MM, TURNED FEMALE, WENT AFTER ME, AND I DROPPED FROM THE SKYSCRAPER! IT HURTED, BUT I AWAKE CALMLY, THINKING I WOULDN'T SEE YOU AGAIN.
*no gold, just us*
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« Reply #8 on: 19 December, 2008, 10:05:42 pm »

American movie star Dirty Harold could take him though.
Dirty Harold? What the hell?
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« Reply #9 on: 19 December, 2008, 10:08:33 pm »

Its one of the few lines from Borat that wasn't completely overdone.
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I SERIOUSLY DREAMT OF FLOYD BEING A KILLER CYBORG WHO RAN 10 TIMES FASTER THAN ANY NORMAL HUMAN, AND THEN KILLED MM, TURNED FEMALE, WENT AFTER ME, AND I DROPPED FROM THE SKYSCRAPER! IT HURTED, BUT I AWAKE CALMLY, THINKING I WOULDN'T SEE YOU AGAIN.
*no gold, just us*
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« Reply #10 on: 19 December, 2008, 10:09:51 pm »

Oh, I thought you meant to say Dirty Harry and said Dirty Harold instead. >_>
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« Reply #11 on: 19 December, 2008, 10:11:11 pm »

When did Deadpool become overrated? A month ago he was underrated.

Is he going the way of No More Heroes or something?
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« Reply #12 on: 19 December, 2008, 10:11:48 pm »

Its a Dirty Harry reference.

Borat goes to a gunshop to buy a gun for protection against the shapeshifting Jews he believes are after him. He is looking at a magnum and he goes "I feel like American Movie Star Dirty Harold.", then says "Go ahead, make my day, Jew."

I laughed so hard at that, it made the movie for me.

When did Deadpool become overrated? A month ago he was underrated.

Is he going the way of No More Heroes or something?

I never liked him, and certain people here (ZF in particular) way overblow him.
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Floyd is the devil.
I SERIOUSLY DREAMT OF FLOYD BEING A KILLER CYBORG WHO RAN 10 TIMES FASTER THAN ANY NORMAL HUMAN, AND THEN KILLED MM, TURNED FEMALE, WENT AFTER ME, AND I DROPPED FROM THE SKYSCRAPER! IT HURTED, BUT I AWAKE CALMLY, THINKING I WOULDN'T SEE YOU AGAIN.
*no gold, just us*
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« Reply #13 on: 19 December, 2008, 10:16:43 pm »

I never liked him, and certain people here (ZF in particular) way overblow him.

He was nominated by three people...
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« Reply #14 on: 19 December, 2008, 10:17:40 pm »

I never liked him, and certain people here (ZF in particular) way overblow him.

He was nominated by three people...

my point exactly.
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Floyd is the devil.
I SERIOUSLY DREAMT OF FLOYD BEING A KILLER CYBORG WHO RAN 10 TIMES FASTER THAN ANY NORMAL HUMAN, AND THEN KILLED MM, TURNED FEMALE, WENT AFTER ME, AND I DROPPED FROM THE SKYSCRAPER! IT HURTED, BUT I AWAKE CALMLY, THINKING I WOULDN'T SEE YOU AGAIN.
*no gold, just us*
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