Pop Culture Showdown Day 13: Raistlin Majere vs. Brock Sampson

[Gaffit]

You know how this goes. Vote for who you think would win in an all-out battle to the death.

Note that as this is a Who-Would-Win based tournament, it would be appreciated if you read and take part in the debate on tactics and fighting ability before voting; you can change your vote any time you want before the polls close. After the polls are closed, I will spend a day writing out a battle between the two combatants and post it in the next showdown topic, with the winner being decided by the winner of the poll. If you would like to suggest a location for the battle, feel free to do so.

If anyone feels like they absolutely have to write out a battle themselves, feel free to send me what you have in mind, and I'll probably enjoy the day off. 

Now then, on to battle!

Raistlin Majere



Raistlin: Dragonlance Series: A powerful spellcaster from Solace. Though physically very frail, his magical abilities make him a massive threat. He’s a complicated character who has sought God hood many times; his talents have warranted his position of a Mage of High Sorcery. With his corrupted mind and powerful spells, this Wizard has power to spare.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raistlin

Brock Samspon



Brock Sampson: The Venture Bros.: AKA The Swedish Murder Machine. The body-guard of Dr. Venture who’s armed with his bare fists and a license to kill. With near super-human strength, Brock only has two rules, avoid firearms unless absolutely necessary, and never kill woman and children, though non-lethal takedowns are okay. He is truly the thing of evil super villain’s nightmares.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brock_Sampson

Round 1:
Day 1: Bruce Lee vs. The Predator 10-9
Day 2: Adol Christins vs. D 1-13
Day 3: The Flash vs. Wolverine 9-6
Day 4: Rikuo vs. Luke Cage 2-12
Day 5: Omega Rugal vs. Baraka 11-2
Day 6: Mega Man vs. Darth Vader 5-9
Day 7: Rey Mysterio vs. Hulk Hogan 3-9
Day 8: Hiro Nakamura vs. Thor 5-11
Day 9: Lobo vs. Blackheart 7-5
Day 10: Kirby vs. Space Ghost 4-6
Day 11: Jack Bauer vs. Deadpool 4-8
Day 12: The Hulk vs. Morrigan 9-7
Day 13: Raistlin Majere vs. Brock Sampson

[Gaffit]

Morrigan dodged an incoming blow from the massive green form of The Hulk.

“What’s going on here? One second I make fun of some nerd’s sweater vest and the next he’s a massive green monster.”

The Hulk picked up a nearby car and tossed it Morrigan, who caught it in midair and hurled it back at him. The Hulk caught the thrown car as Morrigan followed up by slamming herself into him, causing the Hulk to fly backwards into a vendor stall.

“I can’t even take one day off in the human realm anymore without getting into a fight,” Morrigan pined as The Hulk launched himself towards her, “Well, I guess I wanted some excitement anyway.”

The Hulk swung his fist into the succubus queen as her wings surrounded her, her shield easily taking the blow. Morrigan took the offensive by transforming her wings into tendrils and wrapping them around the Hulk to painfully squeeze him. The Hulk grabbed one of Morrigan’s tendrils and pulled on it hard, causing Morrigan to fly at the Gamma Beast as he kicked into her with enough force to send her flying through several skyscrapers.

Morrigan rose from the wreckage and shot at The Hulk from above, turning her wings into a drill and slamming it into the Gamma Monster. The Hulk was sent to the ground by Morrigan’s attack, but managed to grab the drill with both hands and lift it off him with his intense strength. The Hulk reached up at Morrigan and snatched her by the hair before whirling her around slamming her into the street creating a massive crater.

Morrigan rose from the crater, obviously the worse for wear and clearly pissed off.

“You son of a *****! You ruined my hair!” Morrigan shouted as a ball of light appeared in her hand. Struggling to contain it, Morrigan charged the ball’s power with all her strength before unleashing it in the form of a massive beam that swallowed The Hulk and about a quarter of the city.

The Hulk landed with a tremendous ‘thump’ on the outskirts of the city, gasping roughly as Morrigan landed nearby.

“How could you have possibly survived that?” Morrigan asked the near unconscious beast.

The Hulk quickly got to his feet as his wounds healed over. His rage was more intense than ever as his muscles expanded. He was about to beat the succubus into mush when she appeared before him and planted a kiss on his lips.

Morrigan’s succubus kiss drained the strength of her Gamma powered opponent, absorbing it into herself for her own use as The Hulk managed to tear her away.

Morrigan countered by punching The Hulk in the jaw with all the strength of the Hulk himself and then some, causing him to fly into the air. Morrigan followed him up and assaulted him with her winged tentacles, each blow from which was as strong as the Hulk’s own punch.

The Hulk hit the ground hard after the assault and struggled to get to his feet before Morrigan.

“Now I will teh finnish u off!” Morrigan sayz.

“Dat wun’t work” sayz da Hulk.

“Y not?” Morrigan asked.

“I dun’t know.” sayz the Hulk.

“O.”

…

Morrigan exploded.

Alternate Ending!

The Hulk’s wounds healed before Morrigan could charge herself for another assault, his rage intensifying with each second. The Hulk leapt into Morrigan, taking her by surprise. Morrigan quickly wrapped her wings around her as a shield, but the Hulk tore through them with his strength, unleashing a savage beating before Morrigan could even react.

When the Hulk finished his onslaught, Morrigan was left a pile of pulp.

Note: I’m not actually bitter about Morrigan losing, I just couldn’t resist doing something like that though. Twas for the lulz.

[Gaffit]

Also, if anyone knows who Raistlin is, could you please fill us in on his actual power? I'm having trouble finding anything on him. So far I got that he's really good at reading runes...

[Z911]

Raistlin: Dragonlance Series: A powerful spellcaster from Solace. Though physically very frail-

Brock Sampson, Flawless Victory.

[Gaffit]

Raistlin: Dragonlance Series: A powerful spellcaster from Solace. Though physically very frail-

Brock Sampson, Flawless Victory.

XMFD

[Marie Rose]

**** YEAH BROCK SAMPSON

And the last third of Hulk vs. Morrigan provided lulz.

[ganonfloyd]

while Brock is an infintely better character (I can only assume) than Raistlin, the other guy has magic and stuff, so I think he'd actually end up winning in a fight.

[ganonfloyd]

also, if Brock wins I say screw randomization and have a Hulk Hogan vs Brock match

[Gaffit]

while Brock is an infintely better character (I can only assume) than Raistlin, the other guy has magic and stuff, so I think he'd actually end up winning in a fight.

I honestly have trouble seeing a fireball do anything but splash against Brock harmlessley. The guy has survived being tranqued and buried underground in a hole for 24 hours without air. He's practically Superman when he wants to be.

also, if Brock wins I say screw randomization and have a Hulk Hogan vs Brock match

I was thinking of a Hulk Hogan vs. The Hulk actually. But Brock would be just as awesome. We'll see what the randomizer provides.

[Z911]

Brock vs. The Hulk would be interesting, as would going against Hulk Hogan. Hogan refuses to job to anyone and Brock never stays down. <_<

[ganonfloyd]

Well, I don't know the extent of Raistlin's powers, but if from your description it seems that he's prettypowerful, and I'd assume that his array of spells has something beyond a simple fireball that could take Brock out.

and I'd be insulted to see Hulk Hogan, one of the coolest humans ever, lose to the Hulk, probably my least favorite comic book character ever. Insulted.

[Marie Rose]

Well, he is the Hulk, the picture of someone you'd probably see if you liked up "Rage" in a dictionary (well you wouldn't, cause there's no picture there, but if there was, the Hulk would likely be there).

[Gaffit]

Wikipedia isn't being it's usual helpful self when it comes to a decent description of abilities for Raistlin.

Here's a list of his abilities based on his D&D profile.

http://www.dlnexus.com/fan/rules/character/12152.aspx

[ganonfloyd]

Well, he is the Hulk, the picture of someone you'd probably see if you liked up "Rage" in a dictionary (well you wouldn't, cause there's no picture there, but if there was, the Hulk would likely be there).

oh, I have no doubt he would beat Hulk Hogan. I would just feel terrible about voting for him because I can't stand the Hulk, he has no substance to him (IMO) and he just bores me.

[Spring-Loaded]

Brock Sampson.