Sonic Z

Now it’s onto Shadow’s short story saga, involving ghosts because, why not? Yes, the title is a reference; if you don’t know what the reference is, then too bad because I’m surely not gonna mention it.
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Haunted House Saga: Chapter 21 – The House of the Deceased

It was three days after the events of the Intergalactic Tournament. It would have normally been a dark and stormy night, but the weather wasn’t feeling it today. At the top of a misty hill stood a three-story dark house; a blue minivan drove through the forest and passed decaying trees on the way to the house. Within the minivan, Sonic the Hedgehog entered took out a stereo and placed it on a box next to his seat before pressing a button. He then looked ahead, nodded and said, “Let’s get it going!”

Tails then said, “Mama packed a sack lunch.” Followed by Knuckles saying, “Papa gave a juice box.”

They then sang, “Work it out on the Floor!” as they bobbed their heads to the beat, before pointing at the door.

Tails turned to Sonic and said, “I wanna play with your girlfriend! Roll with your poolboy!”

Knuckles shook his head. “Freaks can’t come, let’s get it going!”

They then moved from side to side as they sang, “Work it out on the Floor!” again. Knuckles then slowly took out a microphone and put on a pair of shades before speaking into it. “Back again it’s the Robeast digger, and my dog is bigger, come to blast the trigger! School’s in session ‘cause you gonna get an education, child in with allura doing ****!”

“Bounce!” Sonic and Tails said in unison, point at Knuckles.

“Planet Doom put a hurt on a robot; shame on a witch gave a spank to a robot! Kicking ducats in buckets with a ruckus for King Alfor, never win a battle till you pulling out the blazing sword!”

Tails suddenly awoke on the couch in the living room at his house, and then scratched his forehead before sitting up. “That was one messed up dream…” Tails suddenly heard a knock at the door and got up to answer it. There stood Sonic with a letter in his hand which he handed Tails. “Hey Tails, big news.”

After a few moments of reading the letter, Tails looked up. “A haunted house?”

“That’s right.” Sonic said with a nod. “We’ll be taking a trip down to this area, because if we stay the night and get rid of the ghosts the guy will pay us 2,000 rings, and I could use that.”

“Do I really have to go? Couldn’t you just go do it?”

Sonic smirked. “Why? You’re not scared, are you?”

“Of course not. I’m just speaking figuratively.” Tails whistled a little.

“Relax, we’ll be fine. I’ll be back later, see ya!” Sonic said before speeding off again down the road. Tails sighed as he closed the door, then sat on the couch and switched on the television.

Mads appeared on screen, doing his news program which wasn’t really news. “Hey there, and welcome to the news, which isn’t really the news.” Mads said. “I’ve got a special guest on today’s show, go ahead, SA2.”

The camera cut to SA2 sitting behind a desk in another area. “Hello, ladies and gentlemen, I’m that elite ninja who does things for lulz, and I’m here to tell you how to come up with a story which is an excuse for lulz.”

“But how do I do a story which is for the lulz?” One audience member asked.

“I’m glad you asked, random person, so let’s get to the main points, regardless of plagiarism.”

Step 1: Plot

SA2 cleared his throat. “When doing a story for the lulz, the plot comes second, so it’s okay to put 60% more filler as long as the plot is still partly there, then the viewers will be forced to read it all to understand it, so who cares if it doesn’t make much sense.”

Step 2: Lulz

“Obviously, the lulz should be the reason you’re writing it in the first place, and you’ve gotta work your ass off if you want it to be funny. Use any funny moments to waste time and add tons of filler so your story is twice as long as it should be, but save some lulz for another day, because you never know when you’ll need the filler.”

One audience member raised his hand. “So what type of lulz would you suggest?”

“The type which is easy, and you’ll get no ideas from me.”

“Bu-”

“Shut up, random person, I’m not done yet.”

Step 3: References

“There’s nothing like funny references to something else, or self-deprecation as well.”

“But what’s self-deprecation?” Someone asked.

“Self-deprecation is the method of poking fun at yourself, such as making fun of your writing style, your somewhat cliché characters, and your incredibly stupid plot. This can be quite amusing if it’s unexpected or if it points out something which most viewers know is stupid as well. The same with references, that if you happen to know where it’s from, it could possibly get a quick chuckle, or you could subvert it by also pointing out something others have noticed.”

“Wow, that sounds interesting.”

“You bet your ass it is.”

Step 4: Writing Style

“This really isn’t that important, but it depends occasionally. But if it’s for the lulz it’s not that big of a deal to not use a lot of prose, which may also be purple.”

“So the writing style doesn’t really matter?” One audience member asked.

“Of course not! Any idiot with a computer can write down crap and make it fairly popular; it just takes a little effort.”

“Wow, I sure learned a lot here today.”

“Yes, now **** off.”

The camera switched back to Mads. “Wasn’t that great, folks? Well see you some other time; just remember to come back, because you’ll be Mads not to.”

Tails thought for a few seconds. “I should probably write one myself…”

At G.U.N HQ, Shadow and Rouge entered the central control room and up to the Commander. “So what’s the problem, Commander?” Shadow asked as they arrived.

“There’s been something eerie going on Creepy Hill. A resident who has lived in his house for years has reported dozens of ghosts suddenly appearing, and it seems they’re under control of someone. I’ll need you two to go check it out.”

“We’re on it.” Shadow said before walking off.

“I’ll most likely find something valuable at this ghost infested place.” Rouge said, flying after Shadow.

Shortly after, Shadow and Rouge slowly made their way to the house by walking. After ten minutes of walking, Shadow then said, “It’ll be best to contact Omega and bring him with us before we check out this house.”

“Way ahead of you. Since he’s a robotic powerhouse, I’d already considered it, so he’s already making his own way there.”

“That’s good to know.”

Rouge nodded. “The more you know, I always say.”

“Except that you never say that.”

At Team Chaotix’s place, Vector sat at his desk listening to his music as usual while Espio threw kunai at a target on the wall. Charmy suddenly burst in through the door holding a letter. “Guys! There’s a letter!” he threw the letter which smacked Vector in his face. “Gah! Darn it, Charmy!”

“Open it, Vector! GOGOGO!”

He opened the letter and read it for a few moments before looking up and grinning. “Well boys, it seems we’ve got work.”

“So what’s the job?” Espio asked, turning to Vector.

“There’s a house invested with ghosts, and we’re gonna clear ‘em out for 2,000 rings.”

“Doesn’t that sound a little suspicious?”

“You know the rules, Espio, we never turn down a job that pays, and we need the money right now.”

“Yeah, I know.” He replied, rolling his eyes.

“Then let’s get to work!” Vector said before rushing out the door, followed by Charmy and Espio.

Later that day, Sonic and Tails were travelling in the Tornado towards the house on top of the Creepy Hill. Sonic took out a stereo on the way up, then shrugged and placed it in the back of the ship. When they arrived, Tails landed the Tornado by the side of the house and they both got out. Sonic causally walked in while Tails shivered as he glanced around before running in.

There were various torches lit around the house and several corridors on the three floors. Just ahead of them past the stairs was an intersection with three different paths, one going up, one to the right and the last going left. They heard the sound of the front door opening moments later, followed by Shadow, Rouge and Omega walking in.

“Well, it seems we’re not the only ones who were invited.” Shadow said after spotting Sonic and Tails.

“Hey Shadow, it’s becoming less of a surprise whenever I see you nowadays.” Sonic replied.

“I assume you boys are after the 2,000 rings, hmm?” Rouge asked.

“You bet.”

“We have no time to waste.” Omega began. “We must find the solution to the problem.”

“The solution?” Tails inquired.

Shadow crossed his arms. “We were sent specifically for a different reason, to take out the one commanding these so called ghosts. We’ll handle our business and you handle yours.” Shadow said before going down the right path.

“We’ll see you boys later.” Rouge said, winking at them as she followed Shadow. Omega followed her quickly afterwards.

Sonic watched on for a few moments before turning to Tails. “Well, we’d better get started.” Sonic sped off down the path ahead, while Tails sighed and gave chase.
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(I really hate WMG...)
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Somewhere in a massive abandoned factory were dozens of Eggman robots wondering the various banisters and staircases. Sonic zoomed by a small area, wiping out one robot at a time. He ran circles around the last one for a few seconds before running through him, and as he hit the ground, another appeared and gasped before saying. “Oh my lord!”

Sonic continued speeding through the factory, with robots chasing him before he suddenly spun round and slammed through them before stopping and smirked. “This is a beat, you can’t touch.”

One robot appeared and fired at him, which he avoided and quickly moved right. “I told you, homeboy! You can’t touch this!” He suddenly moved behind him. “Yeah, that’s how I live it and you know…you can’t touch this!” Sonic then stopped in front of him. “Look at my eyes, man! You can’t touch this!” Sonic jumped up before the robot fired. “Yo, let me bust the funky lyrics!” Sonic kicked the robot through a wall before moving on to a room where the robot flipped and threw his chair at Sonic.

Sonic spin dashed and went through him before drifting right and running along a banister with more robots firing at him. He hit a spring and flew up then spin attacked two and landing before saying, “This is a beat, you can’t touch.” Sonic slowly got to his feet. “Yo, I told you, you can’t touch this!” Sonic spun round to the last robot. “Why you standing there, man? You can’t touch this!” Sonic put on some shades. “Yo, sound the bell, school’s in, sucker!” Sonic kneed him in the chest before moving on to another room, spin attacking several robots before speeding off.

Sonic eventually hit another spring and flew far to the right, and then hit another and landed in the middle of a massive room filled with robots who charged at him as he said, “Break it down!” Sonic swiftly dodged every physical attack and ranged attacks which destroyed others around him until there was one left. As the last charged at him, it was then flattened by a giant hammer. Sonic entered the next room and jumped on a rollercoaster, turning several corners and soon driving through four robots towards the exit where he turned off the jukebox midway through.