Alright, captain!
*Rips shirt off, revealing an unimpressive body, not fat, but not muscled at all*
...
*Grabs moose by the antlers and flips it over shoulder as it lets out a moosey cry*
*Hair turns blue and a puts on a bandanna*
You'll get no sympathy from me!
*The moose stands up and charges, but I sidestep and trip it as falls into mud*
*Grabs the moose and slams it into a some trees, before spinning it around and hurling it like a steroid abusing olympian right into Masterman*
*Walks slowly up to the moose, obvious fear in it's eyes*
*Grins and grabs the moose by the neck*
*Carries the moose over to a nearby cliff*
This is where it ends, moosey.
*Lets go of the moose while it cries out a moosey "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO"*
Best post I've seen in a long, long time.