Suddenly, out of nowhere, Freddie Mercury shows up wearing a sombrero.
This is so distracting that Green ZeldaFan manages to steal the Precious from whoever has it.
Precious count: 15
Linebeck's Precious Count: 1
Number of ZeldaFans: 4
Number of ZeldaFans in a vacuum cleaner: 1
Long winded introductions count: 1
Warm nostalgic feeling count: 3
Legend of Zelda references: 2
Diablo II references: 1
FALCON PUNCH! count: 1
Spiral power count: 2
Gattai! count: 1
Destruction of a Starbucks count: 1
Failure count: 2
Does SomethingTM count: 1
Paco the Mexican Baseball Bat count: 1
Number of times I've caused Gaffit to get smacked in the head: 1
Using myself as an example count: 1
Eating brains count: 1
Flaming Death Laser Burritos count: 1
Creatures of the sea count: A whole pile of calamari
Squirrel count: 27
Turning people into food count: 1/2
Arson count: 1
Number of posts spent flat: 2
Zombie ZeldaFan count: 2
Giant ZeldaErmine count: 1
Freddie Mercury count: 3
Hugh Laurie count: 1
Wallet looting count: 2
Loot: $6.94 (Canadian) 5 pesos, a stick of spearmint gum, a Pizza Hut coupon, Cads's left shoe, Hugh Laurie's Autograph.