Where might I hire some of these "Loli Vampire Maid Teachers"?
I got mine from the Loli Vampire Maid Teacher's holy ground. There are a bunch of them there. You just have to bring them a feather duster, a ruler and allow them to bite your finger once and they'll follow you. The bite doesn't hurt much, 'tis a good deal I think.
The loli are bad for you... They want to drain your body of blood.
But they're just loli, they don't drink that much. A tiny bite every now and then will keep them happy. Besides, they're extremely good at keeping houses clean, and teaching animals and kids tricks.