Message #878343

[I_like_Nonon]

September 19th - 2009

Firstly, I want to apologize for the last blog update. It was made when I was tired, and I hadn't planned what I wanted to write. I didn't proof read it, and I'm sure it was filled with tons and tons of spelling errors, grammatical errors, and I AM ERRORs. The jokes, if said abominations can be called jokes, were probably not that good, and the structure was horrible.

I mean who wants

to read a blog

like this.

With paragraphs

this

short.

Horrible.

The only saving grace were the Loli Maid Vampire Teachers, but then again, what DOESN'T Loli Maid Vampire Teachers improve? Anyway, with that out of the way, if you'll excuse the apostrophe, lets get bloggin'. An' stuf'.

As some of you may know, my copy of Metroid Prime Trilogy, purchased fair and square at a local game store, refuses to obey my commands and it simply won't run. Searching around the vast interwebz revealed that many others have this problem, due to their wii being dirty. I know what you're expecting me to say, but I won't. I am above such a **** joke.

J/K lol his **** is dirty olo

Anyway, this forced me to order an Official Wii Cleaning Kit, as opposed to the dozens of Unofficial Wii Cleaning Kit's that are flooding the market as we speak. Or type. Or exchange emotions and messages through non-verbal language.

Why the italics? I don't know.

This Official Wii Cleaning Kit (Henceforth known as the Owii Clit) arrived in the mail today. Ecstatic as I was, I ripped the cover off the Owii Clit and swiftly proceeded to study it, feeling it and reading the manual. I inserted it in my wii, and gently nudged and rubbed it up and down, as is the correct procedure of using the Owii Clit according to the manual.

One would imagine it to be procedure of using any cli-

ANYWAY. After doing this for a few times, I realized that the Owii Clit is actually a piece of Owii ****. Sure, it came out having cleaned my wii of dust, but Metroid Prime Trilogy still wouldn't function. Going back to the store, I managed to exchange the CD for another, in order to check if it was the CD that was the problem. How I exchanged CD's is a far too interesting tale for this blog, but I can let slip that it invovled chinese water torture, and a piece of bubble gum.

As it turns out, this CD did not work either. Which means that it is actually my wii that is broken. Once again, I am above a **** joke.

So I now have to send it in for repair or something, which costs me even more money, as the warranty is off by now. So to recap: I've spent around 108 dollars (yes, our games are expensive as ****) on a game, which does not function. I've spent 10 dollars on an Owii Clit, which functions properly, but is in this case of no help. And finally, I need to spend a lot of money on wii repairs.

Needless to say, I'm less than amused.

But anyways, not much else to say. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll have to let my rage out by taking the Loli Maid Vampire Teachers out for a night on the town. To kill hookers and pushers.

~ ILS

why the **** can't I have fun with metroid games oh god why