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I_like_Nonon
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« Reply #300 on: 01 May, 2010, 04:34:47 pm »

May 1st - 2010

So, today a video game arrived, a video game I have been waiting anxiously to try. In fact, I've been waiting to Monster Hunter Tri it.

Oh god, what a horrible way to start off a blog entry.

Unless you are blind (or stupid, which none of you are, but not mentioning them would be discrimination against stupid people), you know that the game was Monster Hunter Tri, somehow sounding cooler than Monster Hunter three. Now, this was a complete impulse buy on my part. I saw a few videos, and read up on it a bit, and it seemed very interesting. A mix between an action game and an RPG game, with no levelling, but gear improvements instead. I was intrigued, and finding it somewhere for a somewhat cheap price, I bought it, (online, because buying it in a store would have cost me several Monster Hunter Trillions of moneys.

God damn it, I really hope this blog improves soon.

Anyway, I've been playing it most of the day, and I've got one thing to say. ****. Awesome. Well, two things, but spread out over two sentences. The game is quite good I think, and I'm enjoying it so far. For anyone who hasn't read anything about the Monster Hunter series, I'll give you a rundown of what you do (in this game at least, never played the previous games in the series):

-You walk around a village, and buy stuff/gear or synthesize gear. (Typical RPG stuff)
-You can go outside and freehunt, where you slay monsters, collect resources from said monsters or the enviroment. It could be catching bugs, mining for ore, picking up herbs, gathering monster bones from carcasses, you name it.
-You can also swim, and fight underwater, which is a lot more fun that it sounds.
-You head back to town, where you can then use your materials to create better gear
-You can take on quests, for which you have a time limit. It can be slaugthering a set amount of monsters, capturing a monster, gathering something etc. Again, standard RPG stuff.
-You complete these quests, and the story (whatever small one there is) moves further along.

That's basically what you do. Now, all of the stuff I've mentioned is much, much deeper than I made it sound, of course. There are also different weapon types, like small swords, greatswords, lances, bowguns and etc. What's awesome is that you don't HAVE to stick to one of them, but you can switch between them freely. Of course, this would mean keeping up with the gear, but I like grinding, even for materials, so it doesn't matter to me.


My character is a female monster hunter, named Cara. Now, I would like to report about her adventures and missions, but to be honest...

1: I'd feel like I was ripping of, among others, Gar's topic in which he documents his gaming adventures, and
2: I do not have the necessary discipline. Like, at all. I'd miss out on updates ALL the time. And then eventually just give up.

However, I will try to chime in when I play the game. But don't expect all too much, as I'm horribly lazy. So, I guess I'll write about today.


Cara arrived at the small village called Moga village. Going through the tutorial, she learns many valuable things about being a hunter. She learns that the residents need someone to take out a great, sea dragon that causes earthquakes in the small village, the great Lagiacrus. Unable to take the monster on with her current skills and equipment, Cara sets to gather materials for better equipment, taking on Hunter quests from the local guild. For the most part just hunting around the vicinity of Moga woods, nothing was mouch trouble. At first unable to decide which type of weapon she wanted as her main weapon, she finally decides on the very defensive, slow but powerful Lance weapon.



As stated, no real problems were encountered at first. Then came a mission to collect monster guts from a bunch of aquatic monsters. An easy quest, Cara out from the coast, into open water. And encounted the dreaded Lagiacrus.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULWUu3xiJ78&feature=related

She promptly did the heroic thing, and ran right the **** back to shallow water. Seriously, I nearly pissed my pants when this happened. Not so much because the Lagiacrus appeared, or because I was afraid of fighting it. No, the reason I nearly pissed my pants, was because as I turned around to swim away, back to the previous area (as I had been instructed. I'd have tried to fight it, if not <_<), I heard this **** scary "OH **** RUN AWAY" jaws music start up, and I could hear it swim close. Not being able to turn around and look, I nearly pissed my pants. Then again, I AM a ****, so that might be why.

After that, Cara encountered few problems. By the end, she opened access to an entirely new hunting ground, a bit farther away from Moga village, called the Sandy Plains. It is a desert, in case you were wondering what it was. This new area brought a tiny bit of trouble to Cara's doorstep, but nothing she couldn't handle. It even got to the point where she was thinking "They exaggerated when they said this game was a little bit difficult..."

And she, that is to say, I should never, ever, ever have said that. Wanting to end the day with something that looked like a boss fight, Cara decided to go fight a monster called Great Jaggi, which sounded like the leader of the much smaller, easy creatures just called Jaggi.

It was. Oh dear god it was.

Upon entering the lair of the Great Jaggi, Cara was Zerg rushed by smaller Jaggi, unable to do anything. The lance weapon is slow, so Cara was unable to get away without putting her weapon away. And then came the Great Jaggi. And it raped. It did this 3-4 times. At this point, I reached Code Red. I suppose some explaining is in order.

I, like probably many a gamer, has three "modes" when playing games. I have dubbed mine Code Green, Code Red, and Code Blue. I spend most of my time in Code Green, where I am relaxed, playing the game and having fun. The game isn't TOO challenging, at most giving me small problems. If these problems become too large, I enter Code Red. This is the RAAAAAAAAAAAAGE mode. I become extremely frustrated, I call the game a cheap bastard, and I basically throw around a lot of insults and swear words at the game and it's developers.

I yell at an inanimate object, basically. Kind of sad, now that I think about it.

Once I realize that screaming at the TV doesn't work, and only serves to LESSEN my skills, I enter Code Blue. Code Blue is the mode I am the least in. Code Blue is when I become completely silent, and I decide to take the game seriously. This is where every ounce of my concentration goes towards one goal: Not letting the game win. At that point, the game officially becomes not a tool for entertainment, but my enemy. No matter what **** the game throws at me, no matter how cheap the enemies are, I concentrate and use my skills to get through. If you want a trope equivalent, here you go. After I get past the difficult point, I either shut the game off to relax, or go back to Code Green.

This time, because it was somewhat late, I stayed in Code Red, and shut the game off in anger. I shall now spent the night trying to come up with strategies to kill this Great Jaggi. It will taste the anger, it will taste the **** WRATH of Cara.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to plan how to take this **** down.

~ILS

Anger aside, this is a really great game. I can reccomend it. It's supposed to have great online Co-op as well
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« Reply #301 on: 03 May, 2010, 05:04:13 pm »

May 3rd - 2010

Yet another day, yet another monster hunt.

First of all, I'm going to whine very briefly about this week. It's a week where I wake up at 6:30am in the morning, and I get home from scool at about 4:30pm. It sucks. Like, a lot. It's like second year all over again, though only for a week. It still sucks. And the only subject I'll be having is Electronics, which I despise. But I guess I need to finish my exam project anyway, so I guess there's nothing to do about it. Anyway, monster killin' update. Much shorter than last time I'd guess, as nothing much has happened and I'm tired. (EDIT: No it isn't. I just kept on writing regardless of my state of mind)

So yesterday, the Great Jaggi got it's ass handed to it by Cara. While anyone with a brain (with the exception of me) could probably have figured this out, there is one big reason for being able to use any type of weapon you want, at all times, without needing to specialize in it. Not all weapons are effective against all boss monsters. When I switched from the Lance type weapon to the Sword and Shield type weapon, a much smaller, weaker but faster weapon that relies on quick attacks and lots of dodging, it was easy...er. It was easier, still difficult. But it fell down, and I skinned it's ass right off.

After doing this mission, I could now encounter them in the wild. While freehunting. Sometimes I could encounter two of them. Needless to say, I've gotten a lot better at fighting them after encountering two of them at once. I've also switched main weapon types, from the Lance to a new type of weapon I found: The switch ax, which is basically like a swiss army knife. Only except knives and forks and stuff, it's a big ax that can transform into a big sword.

This is one of the most badass weapons I've seen in games. It could only be more awesome if it was a scythe and a sword, had **** and was on fire. Technically, Cara has one of those two things, so it's actually very hard for it to get more awesome.

In other, boss related news, I've encountered a new one, a Qurupeco. A giant half-bird-rooster-wyvern type thing.



Yeah, I don't know either.

After catching on to the game's increase in difficulty, this boss was taken down on my first try (okay, Cara died ONCE, but I didn't fail the mission). Instead of killing it, I even captured it, for the sheer sake of adding insult to it's injury. It also nets me better items, but that's just a bonus for me. The special thing about the Qurupeco is that it can replicate other monster's calls and roars. Meaning it can essentially summon other monsters to help it. Even boss monsters.

Like Great **** Jaggis. And later on in the game, other boss monsters. Oh goody goody gumdrops.


But it's okay. I'm getting my revenge by making an entire set of armor out of the Qurupeco monster. Which has pointed me to another one of this game's bastardized mechanics: The drop system.

True, you don't have to grind in Monster Hunter, which is okay. You're entirely dependant on your gear. However, your GEAR is entirely dependant on the item drops. Which you have to go out and spend time collecting. I.E, grind to get. Some of the items I've had to get so don't drop very often, which is quite annoying. But it'll be worth it, wearing my precious, colorfur armor!


(The right one. I don't plan to wear the hat.... Cara would.... Cara would not wear that hat.)

Tomorrow, I shall probably grind for the rest of the Qurupeco armor set, and then maybe set my eyes on a new boss monster: A Royal Ludroth. A Ludroth is basically a crocodile expy, so I expect the Royal Ludroth fight to be my first underwater boss monster battle, giving me a taste of what it will eventually be like to fight the Lagiacrus.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go admire my precious, colorful giant half-bird-rooster-wyvern armor. Hurhur, you can see the midriff... hawt...

~ILS

The underwater battle is going to be a ****
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« Reply #302 on: 09 May, 2010, 07:15:04 pm »

After seeing an advert about this on TV I was wondering wonder or not I should get this at some point, I guess you answered that for me. What console is this on anyway?

*avoids TV Tropes link like the plague*
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« Reply #303 on: 10 May, 2010, 01:17:59 pm »

Monster Hunter Tri is on the wii, my good man.
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« Reply #304 on: 10 May, 2010, 01:38:49 pm »

Ahh. Haven't used my Wii in quite a while, I wonder if it's collecting dust...
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« Reply #305 on: 10 May, 2010, 02:30:02 pm »

Holy ****.... I just remembered I have a Wii....
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« Reply #306 on: 10 May, 2010, 04:17:53 pm »

I'll say this, if you like those kinds of games, Monster Hunter is a good reason to dust off that wii. I'm planning to try online, but I'm a coward who's so socially inept he has trouble playing with people he doesn't know, even when it's online. All the best stuff and the most epic monsters should be online multiplayer only, so I need to do it <_<
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« Reply #307 on: 11 May, 2010, 05:00:37 am »

Holy ****.... I just remembered I have a Wii....
olo

I may get this sometime in the next few weeks.
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« Reply #308 on: 19 July, 2010, 07:13:01 pm »

June 20th - 2010 - In which I face my own psychology, physiology, and I whine

As the title would suggest, this is me putting my thoughts down on paper. Text. Internet. Ones and zeroes, ****, I don't know. Thoughts are being put down, that's what matters. Whining will also commence, as it is me we're talking about. Where is the fun about writing stuff if I can't whine about my life sucking (which it doesn't, I'm just an attention **** with a curiously low self esteem). So yeah, I will attempt to be funny as I always try to be. This is an indicator that I will be talking about time travelling dicks in just a few seconds, as that is the pinnacle of my humor.

That's the low self esteem talking right there. Though a time travelling dick show could be cool. I'd make up a clever name for it, but you'd have to be funny to do that.

EDIT: Seriously, I whine a lot. Just a heads up if you do dare read this depressing look into my sad, sad psyche.

The older I grow, the more I have learned about my own psychology, and my own self esteem. Ever since an incident a few years ago, (which some of you will probably know and be really, really tired of), I have come to the conclusion that I do not have one ego, but two. My ego, the basis for self esteem that every sentient person is in posession of, and a Man ego. Now those may seem similar, but you'd be wrong. You'd be as wrong as if you were agreeing with Mel Gibson. My ego, is how I view myself based on my own premises and expectations. I expect this much of myself, do I fullfill these expectations? That's my regular ego. By picking and choosing my own expectations, I can keep it under a great deal of control (Yet I still manage to have a bad self esteem. Goes to show that intelligence isn't the same as being smart.)

And then we have the Man ego. That motherfucking man ego. It's an ego I have no control over. It's how I judge myself based on ye olde (like, so ye olde that ye olde wasn't even invented yet) gender roles. Men are the hunters, the gatherers. They go out, and they kill. They **** snap bear necks like nobodies business, and then eat the bear, fur and everything. Then, once they've eaten the bear, they **** it out and throw the crap at the bear's wife and children, all while banging their own respective wives.

Obviously (sadly) these roles are not the same today. The gender role, translated into modern terms: The man is the strong, brave one. He goes out and gets what's needed, and protects his tribe or in this case, his family. He's the strong and dependable leader, always willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done.

If you know me, you should already see the problem.

When my Man ego looks at it, it doesn't laugh. It doesn't even sigh. It takes one look at me, before simply shaking it's head in deep utter shame, like a mother would do to her child, after finally giving up on it. I have been lifting weights for a couple of months. Though it has been FAR from long (Just about 10 minutes a day), I was content. I was doing something, strengthening my muscles, even if it was just a single cell at a time. Then earlier today, me and a few friends (bunch of nerds) started talking, with the assistance of IMs, about push ups. Don't ask me why, I was probably thinking of hentai or something at the time. Someone starts to talk about how many push ups they can do. I have never been able to do push ups before, but with the knowledge of my weight lifting in mind, I went "Hmm, surely I can do some, now that I've at least trained a tiny bit." So I get down, start to do push ups...

A few seconds later, my wrists are in pain, and I've taken six push ups before my arms litterally snap as if they were twigs, and I plummet to the ground. Six push ups is definately not a lot, but it's the biggest amount of push ups I've ever been able to take without breaks. Excited, like a little kid just encountering his first Nintendo 64, I sit back in front of my laptop, a big grin across my naive face. And then I see the other results.

50.

44.

17, followed by a "Yeah, I have litterally no muscles." message.

And this is where the Man ego rears it's ugly, ugly head. A guy, apparently with literally no muscles, still managed to take 17 push ups. I took six, before my arms simply gave up on me, and my wrists sent thunderbolts of pain through my arms.

Six. ****. Push ups.

It's at times like that, where the truth hits me. The truth I hide from and try to compensate for by investing my time reading, studying, and learning. The harsh truth that I so desperately try to ignore, but that gnaws at me like a rabid dog would gnaw on a bone.

I am a pathetic weakling. Even by nerd standards.

These guys are nerds. They follow the latest gaming news. They read comic books. They live streamed E3. They play Magic: The Gathering. They are by all accounts, my fellow men. They are like me, we share the same hobby. But all of them, even the guy with no muscles, are at least almost thrice as strong as I am. Even among my own kind, known for lacking physical strength, I am a pathetic weakling. And that hurts my Man ego. Men are supposed to be the physically strong gender, and I fail so miserably at that. Realizing and admitting this truth, I kid you not, is painful. To admit that even though I've trained for several months, I have made no improvement, hurts.

I **** hate my Man ego. So very **** much.

Desperate, I go back down to the floor, doing more push-ups. And I simply can't do it. With every push up, I feel the strength leave my body and that terrible, terrible coldness sneak up my back. It snakes it's way up my neck, before finally arriving in my brain as one, sad but cold truth. I am a terrible man. I do not fulfill the gender role. And we've just touched upon the strength attribute of the Man ego. Men are also meant to be brave. I jump at the sight of bugs, particularly spiders, a feat usually attributed to women. Being able to defend the family all leads back to the whole strength issue: Leaving aside the fact that no women have been caught by my trap (Perhaps I should replace the Barbie bait by My Little Pony), I would be wholly unable to defend my girlfriend if we were attacked. I would be unable to defend my child if we were attacked. Based on the gender role, I am a terrible man, unable to fulfill my role in society.

And it is depressing to admit. I have always known that I was a disgusting man. A sick, nasty, disgusting and downright detestable man. This, I have always known and acknowledged (Whether or not it's true, I don't know. My bad self esteem has a habit of talking for me). But I never think of myself as a terrible man... so when I'm reminded about it, I get depressed.

I do not get a depression. Simply being a pathetic weakling, even amongst my own kind, isn't enough to send me that far down. But it is enough to make me sad, and make me question what the hell I should do. I do not wish to be a women, yet I am clearly not fit to be a man. It leaves me in despair for a few short hours, before I simply accept my fate as a pathetic, terrible man.

But then the good side of the Man ego rears it's beautiful head, like a sunrise that breaks the dark blackness of the night. Unlike my regular ego, my ;an ego heals. After a while, I forget I only took 6 push ups, and I go about my merry way as if it never happened. In a few days, I will have completely forgotten, or unconsciously chosen to ignore, my weakness and cowardice. But right now, I am looking straight into the face of truth.

And it is a truth I could have lived without seeing...


Of course, ending it on that note wouldn't be very funny, so here's a joke. "Why do I think Link is a nazi? Because he spends a lot of his adventures killing Chus."

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go grow my hair out and dye it black.

Let the "lolweakling" and "six push ups lol ****" jokes commence!

I may exaggerate a bit, but most of what is written is the truth, that I can't handle
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« Reply #309 on: 19 July, 2010, 07:20:37 pm »

I can sympathise... It's really a wonder I can move my arms at all with my "muscles".
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« Reply #310 on: 19 July, 2010, 07:35:23 pm »

I feel the same way sometimes. Sometimes I wish I didn't have a Man ego.
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« Reply #311 on: 24 April, 2011, 06:50:52 pm »

HOLY **** IT'S AN UPDATE
25th of April, 2011

So today, I saw an ad for a free online MMORPG, Grand Fantasia. I don't know why, but as I downloaded it and started it up, it occured to me that I should take screenshots and take notes, to share with everyone. Will I do this every time? History says no, as I'll get too lazy and caught up in the game to do so, but we shall see. So lets get started on my adventures in the world of... ellipses...
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_FSAWfWeIUsE/S8o68Dnos7I/AAAAAAAAAXw/ozioWRuXrNE/s1600/GrandFantasia+photobucket.jpg

Lovely. As you can immediately see, it's deliciously animoo. Because I can't resist delicious animoo to save my life. First of all, character creation. This massive and exciting adventure (if the game is even any good) will revolve around... ellipses... fucking lead ups getting repetitive now... Cylvia the necromancer!



If anyone has eagle eyes, they can see her name is actually Cyllvia. Some **** took the name Cylvia, so I had to insert an extra l. For the purpose of this though, she's Cylvia. **** the double l. So, characters start out as novices, with no true class yet. And apparently, novice girls wear very revealing skirts and shirts.



durrhurr panties

As far as I've read, sprites (little pets or something like that) play a huge role in the game. They gather crafting materials for you, craft, and can support you in combat, I think. I made my little sprite, and named him Nara. He's green, and has rastafari hair. No picture of him yet, but you'll see him later. Anyway.

First things first: Talking with the old sage Babama. After talking to him, he gave me a workstation for Nara. Damn, not even beginning the game properly yet and I'm already preparing to commit Nara to slavery. After giving me a slave station, he asked me to kill Jelly Rabbits. Just as the name suggests, they're cute little critters. Don't know, I guess I'm killing them to prevent massive outbreaks of diabetes? I don't know. After dealing with them, Cylvia is given the first tool on her way to become a necromancer... Big burly gloves!

Not very necromancer-y, but it gives more defense, so it'll do.

During that quest, Cylvia advanced to level 2, and was then told to go to the main village on noob island Siwa island, Siwa village. On the way, she stopped to talk to Efe, a sprite. Basically, his purpose is to teach you to the mechanics of using your sprite to collect materials. I picked the mining practice quest, except I discovered Nara can't mine, just hunt and forage. FUCK

After abandoning the quest, and picking one that Nara could actually complete, everything was good. Seems like it's a pretty cool mechanic, on first glance. Nara came back, with the items I sent him out to gather after a minute or two, and was quite pleased.



If only the pictures weren't of such shitty quality. May have to work on that. You can chat to your sprite, and Nara told me there are crabs on the beach, and adviced me to crack 'em. Solid advice, I guess. He also starts smiling when he thinks of Cylvia, apparently. D'AAAAAAAW

In the process, she reached level 3 and went off to Siwa village where she saw OH JESUS



I do not want to buy any of her armor. Ever.

Cylvia met with the village elder, Luadaman. He gave her a new skirt, same design just a different color. Why does an old man have skirts lying around? I have my theories.

The village is in dire need of starlight algae, guarded by laughing and smiling crabs. I guess it's time to crack 'em.



I don't see why they're called laughing crabs. At all.

FUCK WHERE ARE THE SMILING CRABS WHAT THE FUCK oh there they are.



What's with all the smiley crabs?

After that, I made Nara craft some boots. The crafting system seems really neat, but I can see it being a **** later on with more rare gear. I also feel bad, I'm working the poor guy really hard now. After talking to the village defender, Muha(haha), Cylvia was told to go talk to Bill the guard back in the forest. Attaining level 4, she was told to go back to Babama. He told her about the day of destiny, which is like the anime apocalype, and that I needed one more level to pick my first class. She quickly went on to talk to Bill the guard, and learned of a missing little girl. His instincts tell him to suspect the local fauna, namely the deer. Ooooooookay, I think he's not fit to be a guard.



On the other hand, they look quite sinister.

Cylvia reached level 5. Fuck Bill's deer, time to go pick a class o boy o boy o boy. Muha(haha) who gave me the choice of different classes, thinks her choice of spellcaster fits her, and believes she get pleasure out of zapping things. And dear lord is he correct. After that, a few magic spells were aquired: Magic rocket, Blunting blade and Magic star cannon. **** yes. Also, I made the mistake of reading Blunting blade's description. "After casting, players can let the single enemy target's damage from every regular attack to reduce by 30 points." WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN. Most everything else in this game is in good english, were they drunk when they translated that?

After that, she went back and raped all the deers in the forest with newly found magic. Holy **** this does a lot of damage. Also looks like a proper kamehameha when she casts magic rocket.



After taking care of the local fauna, Bill asks Cylvia to rescue the little girl, Jasmine, from a bunch of baby dragons. WHAT THE HELL I JUST WENT FROM KILLING DEER TO DRAGONS WAT. Anyway, the baby dragons are pussies, easily dying to Cylvia's NECROMANTIC MAGICNESS even though no necromancy is involved but fuck it. Damn, Jasmine looks like Tsugumi Halberd from Soul Eater Not!



I swear, look her up on google.

To save her, Cylvia needed to kill a giant stone golem. It's a party quest but fuck that, Cylvia is an antisocial necromancer, she needs NO HELP.



On the other hand...


But it just took a few magical spells to down him. EASIEST. PARTY QUEST. EVER. Cylvia turned the quest in, and was given a speech about the importance of teamwork. Lulz were had. Got a nice staff though, much more necromancer-y. That was pretty much the end of it, Cylvia is now ready to leave noob-island and get into the main area of the game. Nara has gained the ability to craft a bit more advanced gear, giving me bonus intelligence! Which, of course, I made him craft. Behold, THE NECROPANTS!



Could also make a pair new gloves and boots, but will do that tomorrow.


And that's it for today. The game seems quite good for a free MMORPG, the art style is delicious animoo, so that's win in my eyes, and...  that's about it. It's nothing new, or revolutionary, but I'm having fun. If it's like the other free MMORPG's I've played, it will devolve into grinding very soon, so look forward to that.

If I continue this, of course. Will I overcome my laziness? Increase picture quality? WHO KNOWS?


is sad that the panties are now hidden by pants
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« Reply #312 on: 24 April, 2011, 08:06:21 pm »

I can't access any of those images. Undecided
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I_like_Nonon
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« Reply #313 on: 24 April, 2011, 08:26:27 pm »

Should be fixed now.
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« Reply #314 on: 25 April, 2011, 06:21:04 am »

I'm guessing you modelled her after Cara? Though admittedly those hips remind me more of Jessica...
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