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The Pop Culture Showdown Fights

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Gaffit
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« on: 25 July, 2009, 02:19:22 am »

Blackheart vs. Lobo




Round 1 Day 9:

Blackheart stood over the destruction his army wreaked upon the planet he was ordered to enslave. Standing on top of the cliff overlooking the fierce battle taking place between his troops and the planet’s inhabitants, Blackheart suddenly heard a strange pattering noise coming from above. Before he could look up, a massive motorcycle came crashing down on top of him.

Lobo put down his kickstand and parked his bike while Blackheart still lay underneath it.

“Ugh! Another day, another bounty,” Lobo lamented, “Alright, where’s this Blackheart punk I keep hearing about?”

A massive explosion came from under Lobo’s bike, tearing his hog to ribbons and causing Lobo to fly a good distance away.

“You foolish idiot!” Blackheart spat angrily, “How dare you anger the son of Mephisto! I will devour your soul!”

“If you had any idea how much money was on your head, you’d choose your words more carefully,” Lobo explained, “Doubly so for wrecking my bike,” Lobo said while pointing his thumb at his beloved’s scattered remains.

“You honestly think you can defeat me?” Blackheart nearly laughed.

“I don’t mind tryin’ pal.” Lobo said as he snatched his chain gun from his hip and pumped a clip into the demon lord, the holes it created quickly healing over. Blackheart lunged at the mercenary, ripping him in two and throwing his remains over the side of the cliff.

“Ugh, that hurt…” Lobo complained as climbed back up the cliff, carrying no signs of his wounds. “So you’re going to make this fun for me eh cutie? Alright, I don’t mind playing with my paycheck.”

Lobo launched himself at Blackheart, sending his fist into his face with enough force to send Blackheart sprawling to the ground with his head caved in. The demon got back to his feet as his head wound healed and launched a ball of pure energy at Lobo, the force of it taking the merc’s arm clean off.

With his only arm left, Lobo pulled out an oversized cigar and lit it just as his arm grew back and finished it off with one puff. “So you’re the son of the devil huh? Wow, that’s gotta suck. Boy do I feel sorry for the state you’re in; always having to follow daddy’s orders right? I got over my dad issues the day I was born when I killed the guy. Too bad you don’t have half the guts I do right?”

Blackheart let out a roar at the insult and assaulted Lobo with a flurry of punches as Lobo calmly caught his arms and sent his boot into the demon’s kneecaps, sending him to the ground with a cry of pain.

Blackheart popped his knees back into place and sent a punch into Lobo’s stomach, causing the bounty hunter to topple over from the blow. The son of the devil followed it up with a vicious assault, tearing into the fallen Lobo with all his fury. Lobo attempted swing at Blackheart as the demon’s arm transformed into a blade, lopping both the bounty hunter’s arms off in a single slice.

Lobo planted his boot against Blackheart’s chest and kicked him off him, and bought time for his wounds to heal by saying, “I gotta tell you, I expected more of a fight from you,” Lobo gasped, “I mean, I hate to sound like a critic, but damn you suck at fighting. I thought that with the power of this Mephisto guy at your command, you’d be a lot more powerful, but I guess daddy keeps you on too tight of a leash right? I bet you couldn’t even use the power of hell if you wanted to. Daddy might not like it.” Lobo smirked.

“I’ll show you the power of hell mortal!” Blackheart shouted as he teleported himself and his opponent to the lowest levels of Mephisto’s realm.

“Here I am all powerful with the legions of hell at my command!” Blackheart said, his form glowing with power.

“Bad move junior, looks like you woke up your old man,” Lobo said, pointing behind Blackheart to the massive form of Mephisto.

Blackheart dropped to his knees to bow before the devil, “Father! I am trying to demonstrate to this mortal our true power by showing him the terror of our realm. When his soul is crushed I will-“

“Hey big ugly and little ugly, I hate to interrupt your mother-daughter bonding time but you’re both in a lot of trouble.” Lobo grinned.

Mephisto shot an angry gaze at his son, who turned on Lobo, “What is the meaning of this disrespect!?”

Lobo pulled out an official-looking piece of paper from his back pocket along with a pair of reading glasses before reading, “According to Amendment one, Article four, Sub-Section yada, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah, ‘And the entity known as Lobo shall not be allowed entry into Heaven, Hell or any morally-based alternatives of the two under penalty of immediate execution,” Lobo finished, throwing the paper somewhere behind him.

“So, I’ll make you a deal big n’ smelly,” Lobo compromised, “Make this an even fight between me and your lovely little princess and this won’t go to the higher-ups, you followin’? Just a straight up fight, I won’t even heal my wounds, how’s that?”

Mephisto gave a slight nod as a ball of dark energy hit Blackheart, draining his powers from him.

“Fool! Even without my powers, my physical strength far surpasses-“ Was all Blackheart could get out before Lobo’s punch floored him. Lobo followed up by leaning over and ripping the demon’s jaw apart. The bounty hunter then flipped Blackheart onto his back and sat on him, pinning him to the ground while grabbing a grenade from his belt. Lobo bit off the pin and force fed it down Blackheart’s throat while holding down his arms, legs, and tail.

A massive explosion ripped the demon’s head apart, spewing black goo all over the floor of the hellish realm.

Lobo picked up his prize from the floor and looked up at the massive form of Mephisto.

“Hey buddy? Can you give me a lift? I’m kind of far from what’s left of my bike right now.”
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