|
Gaffit
|
Bruce Lee vs. Deadpool
Round 2 Day 34:
Bruce Lee trained in his dojo, beating his fists against a punching bag while throwing in the occasional kick when a loud explosion blew a hole in the dojo’s wall opposite of him and filled Lee’s view with a temporarily blinding light.
When the dust settled, Lee saw a red and black figure stumble through the smoke as he waved his hand in front of him in order to clear his masked face of the dust.
“Man, they don’t build secret dojo bases in the heart of a volcano surrounded by death-guards like they used to huh?” The figure said as he made his way towards Lee.
Lee pulled half a dozen shurikens from his robe and hurled them with deadly aim into his masked foe, the ninja stars almost completely burying themselves in his flesh as his opponent staggered back.
The masked assassin simply dug the shurikens from his chest and held them against the light.
“Ooooh… Shiny! And they’ve even got a little hole in the middle! These things were made for my Christmas Tree!” Deadpool announced.
Lee was on top of the Mercenary in a second, sending a rib-cracking kick into Deadpools chest that sent him tumbling to the ground. From the ground, Deadpool had a good view of the walls of the dojo that were lined with every martial arts weapon imaginable.
“I think you might be taking your work home with you,” Deadpool chided as he got to his feet.
Bruce took a cautionary step back before asking, “How could you have survived my attacks? Any mortal man would be dead by now!”
“I’m not a mortal then am I?” Deadpool said as his wounds healed before Lee’s eyes.
“What are you?” Lee asked.
Deadpool dropped to the ground and sent a sweeping kick that knocked Lee off his feet and sent him sprawling to the ground as he rolled on top of Lee, his face inches away from his opponent.
“I’m Spiderman,” Deadpool whispered.
Lee kicked Deadpool off of him and ran to a wall holding a wide array of swords, grabbing his personal favorite katana as Deadpool got to his feet.
“Wait, that’s not right! I always get us confused,” Deadpool chuckled, “It’s a funny story actually, one time my own mother-“ was all Deadpool got out before he had to duck a swing from Lee’s sword.
Deadpool immediately unsheathed his duel katanas and blocked a second blow from Lee. Deadpool went on the counter-offensive by sending a powerful hit into Lee that caused him to stumble back a bit as Deadpool entered a ridiculous fighting stance.
“You interrupted my story,” Deadpool seethed, “On my Goldfishes honor, you will pay for that,” Deadpool shouted as he charged towards Lee, sending a flurry of strikes into the martial artist from all sides that Lee struggled to block with his one sword, receiving nicks and scrapes all over his body.
Lee spotted an opening in Deadpool’s offense and quickly launched his knee into the Merc’s abdomen, causing him to stagger back just enough for Lee to swipe into Deadpool diagonally, cutting through Deadpool from shoulder to chest.
The wound healed in a matter of seconds as Deadpool recovered from the blow and sent a quick glare at Lee.
“You really suck at this whole, ‘Kill the badguy’ thing don’t you?” Deadpool taunted.
Lee let out a roar as he launched his sword straight through Deadpool’s heart. Deadpool simply stood there before pulling the sword deeper into himself and lodging it there.
“Well, this has been fun, but I’ve got a 4 o’ clock appointment I have to keep so I’m gonna have to wrap this up. Thanks for the laughs,” Deadpool said as he pulled one of his Uzi’s from his back and unloaded the machine gun into Lee from a point blank range.
|
