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The Something Something Demonic Something Ever

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Marie Rose
Totally legal
Semi-epic Post Whore
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Gender: Male
I'm: 18
Power Level: 3,149,743.69
Username: SA2
Mood: Amazing
Posts: 19,199



« Reply #315 on: 19 November, 2010, 02:24:18 pm »

Time to kick this **** off, old school.
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TMEDCE: Chapter 41 (Its still a stupid number) - The Sliding Scale of Love and Hate

It was two weeks after Halloween, and Ivy sat in her room early that morning writing in her diary. “Dear Diary, It’s been a while since we talked, huh? Life’s going pretty well, though not many people like me and are still jerks, they at least somewhat respect me…I think. Nookie’s oldest son has now started molesting human girls, yet again, I’m so proud. It feels like only yesterday when I beat Nookie to a pulp and took him home as a pet. I wish him the best of luck.

She then heard her mother yell, “Ivy, you received a letter from one of your fan club members!”

“Coming!” She ran out the room, down the hall and slid down the stairs, smashing into the door where she picked up the letter and read it out loud. “From a loyal and mysterious fan, I’ve got a small problem which someone of your talents could help me solve. I’ll explain more later, my address is…” She stopped reading. “Time for another good deed.”

“Well good for you.” Her mother replied before leaving.

“Is doing this one thing really so important?” Poison asked as he came down the stairs.

“Of course!” She took out a list. “I’ve done 8 evil things this week and only 1 good thing! I need another good deed to add to the list!”

He read the list. “I don’t think hiding the remote, taking the last cookie from the cookie jar, and not cleaning the bath qualify as evil, maybe petty and annoying, but not evil. Also, chopping off someone’s arm isn’t a good deed.”

“He was gonna have it amputated, so I saved him the trouble. Anyway, I haven’t got time to argue, I’ll see you later.” She grabbed the list and took off towards her fan’s location.

In a basic house with a red and brown visual style which most houses there tended to have, sat a young boy. He had unruly turquoise hair, and wore a zipped up red jacket, with matching pants and shoes which had three white stripes going across them. Ivy kicked down the door and leaped in as she yelled, “Dynamic entry!” She landed on her feet and turned to him. “So what’s the problem?”

“You better fix that door. Anyway, I’ve got these personal issues with this girl I just barely know.” The boy spoke. “My name is Jack, and I’ll be looking forward to working with you.”

“So what’s my reward?” She immediately asked.

“Huh? Reward?”

“Yeah, kid. I don’t do this **** for free, Y’know?”

“Well I don’t really…”

“Oh, well good luck with your-”

She turned to leave when Jack spoke up. “Wait! You can’t! I was told you were the best, and if you go I’ll have no-one to really turn to! The others are amateurs, not like your magnificent skills which are in a league of their own! Your grace, your beauty, your mediocre fashion sense…”

“Hey! Besides, sucking up isn‘t enough to get my help, so if you-”

“For the time being, my fridge is your fridge.” They immediately sealed the deal as they shook hands.

“So what’s the problem?” Ivy asked.

“Well, there’s this girl, she’s unfucking believable! She practically hates my guts, and I hate hers. She pulls some kind of prank on me, then I pull one on her, and so on. After the prank she pulled on me two weeks ago, I still haven’t retaliated, so I was wondering if you had any ideas.”

Ivy thought for a little bit, before moving on. A bit later, Ivy stood on a cliff with a video camera and a bulldozer, readying to hit her target with a wrecking ball. Eventually she showed up, appearing to be a young girl with violet hair sporting twin tails, wearing a red open jacket with a fluffy hood, a black t-shirt, and blue pants. As she looked around, Ivy managed to hit her hard with the wrecking ball while videotaping it and running off.

Shortly afterwards, the girl was walking down a path, saying random obscenities under her breath, clearly mad over the previous ordeal while Poison and Rosie were walking by just up ahead.

“So Damien is gonna troll a message board, and some other guys have agreed to participate, you in?” Poison asked.

“Sure, sounds like fun. By the way, does anyone actually swim in that lake of lava?” Rosie asked, staring far to her right.

“Nah, its just for decoration.” The girl bumped into Poison, but continued walking as he sarcastically said, “Guess that serves me right for paying attention.”

She stopped and turned to him, and then said, “Hey, aren’t you that one from the photos wearing th-”

Poison quickly covered her mouth. “Lets have a quick talk…” He said as they walked off. “So what’s the problem?” He asked as they stood at an empty street corner.

“Well, there’s this guy I hate so I pull pranks on him, and he does the same, and he just pulled this lameass prank so I’m really pissed and have to get back at him! And if you don’t help I’m going to use those photos I happened to see.”

“Yeah, I get how this works.” He replied, not surprised in the least. “So what’s your name?”

“Oh, my name is Jill. Now lets get to work!” She said, walking off.

Later that day, Jack informed Ivy about receiving an email about Jill threatening to send some embarrassing photos she had taken of him in the past to others, and had no choice but to beg Ivy to find the pictures somehow before she could do so. Ivy wanted to get down to the real deal, as she was certain Jack was hiding something important so she went to ask around about the two. She went around the demonic city asking around for the deal between the two, and getting nowhere from demons rudely denying knowledge of it, and she completely forgot to ask an elderly woman upon being given a large lollipop.

Meanwhile, Poison was currently talking with Gary online about some important details over the internet with a webcam. “So, what do you think?” Poison asked.

“Well, it doesn’t seem like pictures you’d normally use for humiliation purposes, I should know.”

“As I thought. Well thanks for your help, man.”

“Sure thing. By the way, can you lend me Kawaii Girl Uguu-chan?”

“I can’t man, I’m sorry.” Poison shook his head.

“And why not?”

“Your body is not ready.” Those words hit Gary hard, like a kick to the nuts. He had expected something like this, and though he tried to block it out, he knew the statement was true. Some witnesses have said only one person finished watching this show but died from cuteness overload, and Poison only got halfway through. Could it truly be watched all the way through without dying? He had to give it a shot. As Gary got up from his seat, Poison leaned in, a worried look in his eyes as he said, “Gary…”

Gary silenced him as he raised his hand and walked off into the shadows. He went through a montage, showing various scenes such as Gary clutching his chest in pain and expressing a faint, “HNNNNGGGGG” sound as watched various moe anime, got Crystal to show him their family album with Ruby’s baby pictures, and also looking through some of the Ivy pictures he’d bought until he was desensitized to being affected by any level of cuteness.

Back to the main story, Ivy visited her old school which had white and black large corridors, and demons didn’t really need to go to school since they were demons. A black haired demon in a suit called to Ivy as she walked by the classroom. “Oh, Ivy! I haven’t seen you in like 8 years now!”

“That’s because I hated you all and chose to stay at home.”

“Oh, you’re so tsun~”

She ignored him and walked around. She eventually found some girls who occasionally hang around with Jill and one explained the connection. “Well, one day those two accidentally bumped into each other, and while she’s my friend, she’s also quite a **** so she responded rather harshly, as did he. This started off a string of events where he pulled pranks on her, and she pulled pranks on him, and she was always going on half the time about how she needs to pull off an amazing prank, and recently saying the last prank he pulled seemed like a kid came up with it. I mean, we obviously know they like each other, but she’ll never just say it, even though we honestly don’t give a **** if she does. You like who you like, big deal what others think.” The other girls in the group agreed. Ivy thanked them and moved on.

Fortunately, Ivy discovered Jill in an empty classroom, looking through her bag. “Hey, you’re that girl Jack’s talking about, right?”

“What of it?”

“I’m here for the photos. I suggest you hand them over.”

“Sadly, they’re mine. I took them and I’ll do what I want with them.” Jill said, turning around with them in her hand.

“Lets play a fun exercise of mine.” Ivy cleared her throat. “Look at your hand, now look at me, look at your lame backpack, now look back at me. I’m not you, because I’m awesome and my tail is silky smooth. But that’s not important, because I just stole your pictures.” Jill raised an eyebrow as she looked at her empty hand, just as Ivy took off. 

Jill gave chase, yelling at her as they ran through the corridors. Jill grabbed a SMG one student was holding and opened fire, Ivy barely avoiding the shots before diving into a classroom for cover. She looked around the room and then grabbed the whiteboard to use as a shield. Just then, Jill leaped into the room, performing an unnecessary combat roll before firing. Ivy leaped over tables and blasted down a wall, turning right down the corridor with Jill in hot pursuit. Jill punched her locker open, where she took out a rocket launcher. As she fired, Ivy heard it and threw a locker in the way of the missile while exclaiming, “This **** is crazy!” She continued throwing lockers while running, eventually hitting Jill with one as she came round a corner.

Ivy took this opportunity to escape by leaping out a second story window and flying off, Jill seeing her as she did so and doing the same. Jill looked around the area but couldn’t seem to find her. “Get out here! When I find you, I’m gonna unload this all over your face! You hear me?!” Ivy happened to be hiding behind a bin further down and waited until she left before making her own way back.

Upon arriving back at Jack’s house, the first thing he said as she entered was, “You ate all my food!”

“Well your fridge is my fridge, right?”

“But I wasn’t trying to be that generous! Anyway, did you get them?”

“Yeah, I got it.” She said, throwing them on the table.

“Also, we need to do more, since this green haired guy came here and stole the photos I had of her.”

“Green haired guy?”

At that moment, In Jill’s house she was taking a shower when Poison arrived. Poison was waiting in the living room as she entered in a towel, and her immediate reaction was to punch him, which he dodged while saying, “I ironed your clothes just so you know, and got the photos.”

“Oh, t-thanks.” She replied, blushing slightly.

“Now don’t go developing any crushes of some sort.” He replied as he left.

“You think too highly of yourself…”

As Poison logged back on using a laptop, Gary was waiting. He appeared to have several bruises and was covered in glitter for some odd reason. Though reluctant, he knew it was time, so Poison sent Kawaii Girl Uguu-chan over the internet and wished him luck, all of which was said with a simple nod. Gary closed his eyes, thinking to himself, “Alright, I’m ready. My body can take it…

Afterwards, Jill explained about a girl with pink hair stealing the photos, quickly clueing him in on who that might be. Ivy and Poison met shortly by Ivy’s house, at which point Poison said, “So, your diagnosis?”

“He’s totally a jerk.”

“She’s totally a tsundere. So, what do you suggest?”

“Well I think its rather simple. Did you look at the pictures?”

“Huh?” Ivy looked at them for a few moments. “Hmm, these look like the type you’d keep for personal use…”

“Exactly, that means-”

“I can see the ending.” Ivy said, wearing black shades. “I know what to do.” A few minutes later, she had gathered a bag of accessories. “Okay, I got everything. The candles, the chocolate, the bathing oils, some Marvin Gay songs such as ‘Lets Get It On’, and my mom’s BDSM kit.”

“You seem overly prepared for some reason…so how do we do this?”

“We need to get them in the same room, and then its done. This thing started when Jack pulled a prank on that girl.”

“Her name is Jill.”

“Seriously? Anyway, pulling pranks on each other was kinda a way of them communicating. Starting off light and getting more hurtful as they went along. Taking potentially embarrassing pictures of each other could be seen as a relationship upgrade, but then Jack hadn’t responded to her prank for several weeks, and she assumed he’d lost interest. Then I unknowingly made it worse with a basic prank which wasn’t at a high standard, so she’d assume he no longer liked her. The solution to this problem? Hatese-”

I don’t think that’s gonna do it.”

“Trust me, it is.”

Poison left to visit Amber who had just beaten another girl by hitting her with a meteor, followed by a piledriver, then saying, “You lose, Marissa, and for your punishment be sure to arrive at my house around 8PM, and come alone.”

“Yes, ma’am.” she replied.

After waving to her and explaining, Poison asked what the solution would be, and she happened to agreed with Ivy. Figuring he asked the wrong type of person, he asked half the other people he knew, them all responding the same way, so he decided to drop it. He helped get both sides to meet up and lock Jack and Jill in an partially lit apartment made of titanium with all the stuff Ivy brought already set up.

“This is your fault we’re locked in here!” Jill yelled.

“Me? If you didn’t whine about everything this wouldn’t have happened!”

“Arrgh, you’re such an ****!”

“And you’re such a ****!”

After another minute of arguing they finally calmed down. After a few moments, they considered it a success, and then the arguing continued, being far worse while all sorts of noises could be heard, so Ivy and Poison quietly unlocked the door, quickly left and never looked back.

A few hours later, Ivy and Poison were back at Ivy’s house, watching TV when the doorbell rang. Ivy answered the door, only to see Jack and Jill holding hands and smiling. Ivy called Poison over as Jack spoke. “Thanks so much for helping us, you guys.”

“Yeah, we just weren’t very good at conveying our feelings, and it feels like we wasted your time by having it get to that point.”

“No problem.” Poison replied. “You did delete the-”

“Yeah, I deleted them. Thanks again, you guys, and take care!”

“I hate you~” Jack playfully said.

“I hate you more~” Jill cheerfully replied. The two left, skipping along as they went up a hill (hey, you saw it coming) while Ivy and Poison watched.

“You think there’s some hidden meaning behind all this?” Ivy asked.

“Nah, that would just be stupid.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Ivy said before closing the door.

Later that day, some of the angelic council confirmed Gary to have died from cuteness overload, but figured he’d be back within the week. His body was not ready.
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