Marie Rose
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And another one. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now its time for: Reipa Girl, tell ‘em!
Lolita sat at an office desk with the camera facing her. She pointed as she said, “Yooooooou.” completely deadpan. “Welcome again to my Q&A, once again, now lets get started. First caller, you’re on the air.”
“Hey, you say that you’re dead or something, so if that’s the case, is doing it with you like necrophilia?”
“…I guess you could say that. Umm, next caller.”
“If Ivy and Poison had a kid, what colour would its hair be?”
“I honestly don’t care, next.”
“If I slept with some alien chick and got some STD from space, would I get super powers?”
“…What compelled you to think of such things?”
“Just curious.”
“There are some things you shouldn’t ask. Next caller.”
“How would two tentacle creatures get it on?”
Lolita facepalmed. “What is with these questions today? This segment isn’t the time for such things. If this continues, I’ll-”
Just then, Dawn entered the room and sat beside her as she said, “Well, you look somewhat troubled. Need a helping hand?”
“You’re not gonna go away even if I say I don’t, right?”
“Bingo. Okay, lets continue.”
“Hey there, what happened to that thing in the second season where the older alternate Ivy said she was gonna **** the original. I mean, it never came, and I was looking forward to that.”
“Well fortunately it was cut and we had to rush the ending.” Lolita replied. “Next caller.”
“Yo, can you give me a list of the coloured panties everyone is wearing?”
“Aren’t you that same guy from last time?”
“Most certainly not.”
Dawn then spoke up as she pulled a clipboard from her pants. “Y’know, because I’m such a nice person, I’m gonna give you that info. I have the list of all the different types of panties everyone here is wearing. Everyone. Everyone. In random order, because I’m not actually nice.”
“Thank you so much! I think…”
“Okay, here we go: Classic white, black and white stripes, orange and purple stripes, glittery silver, beige and grey horizontal stripes, frilly brown panties, pokadot blue with red and blue stripes, nonexistent, nonexistent, nonexistent-” She paused to turn over to the next sheet. “Nonexistent yet still existent, see-through, techno panties, imprinted sharp teeth panties, frilly glittery black with green pokadots, striped golden green, and my boss may forbid me from saying what the last one is, so I’ll do it to spite him. Black teddy bear imprinted panties.”
“W-wait! Most of those choices don’t make any sense from what I had in mind!”
“Yeah, those are some rather odd choices. Its as if I was lying but that would just be silly.”
“Quite so.” Lolita agreed. “Next caller.”
“You’re so mean, Dawn! I hate you!…You’re still rather funny though.”
“Yes, yes, I know.”
The next person called in. “Uhh, like others have asked before, what exactly are you?”
“I’m a hybrid of a tentacle monster and a shape shifting species on Mianus, meaning that I have access to at least half a dozen tentacle like limbs as well as shifting any part of my body to look how I want to look, this includes even my own blood, so inflicting nightmare fuel on various partners in the past was rather easy. So yeah, it doesn’t matter whether I was naturally and maturely beautiful, because I can shape my body how I want so age and appearance is no barrier.”
“So the trolling thing, did that come naturally or…”
“Somewhat. I once studied under this guy in some other random universe. Can’t remember his name but he had this crazy green hair and looked like one of the backup dancers from that Michael Jackson video. At least I think that happened.”
“I think you’ve talked long enough.” Lolita replied.
“What’s wrong, am I stealing your thunder?”
“No, this is my segment, so keep your talk at a limit.”
“Tough talk coming from some dreary eyed chick who stalks people.”
“I’m above insulting an obnoxious mean-spirited evil mastermind wannabe such as yourself.”
“But you’re not above stalking?”
“Well I figured it’d be preferred over constant chatter which would shatter your eardrum from overuse.”
“Uh-huh. Hey, can I get your number?”
“Why do you ask?”
“I wanna insult you over the phone.”
“Well alright.” Lolita turned to the camera. “That’s all we have time for, bye-bye!” She waved, then began writing her number on a piece of paper as it faded to black.
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