Ultimate Paradise
30 January, 2023, 08:16:55 am
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
  Home Help Arcade Gallery Links Staff List Login Register  

The Something Something Demonic Something Ever

Pages: 1 ... 26 27 28 29 [30] 31   Go Down
Author Topic: The Something Something Demonic Something Ever  (Read 11358 times)
Marie Rose
Totally legal
Semi-epic Post Whore
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
I'm: 18
Power Level: 3,149,743.69
Username: SA2
Mood: Amazing
Posts: 19,199

« Reply #435 on: 19 June, 2014, 12:22:39 pm »

Now it’s time for: Reipa Girl, tell ‘em!

From the top left of the screen, a shorter Lolita wearing a black dress & mini top hat on the side of her hair floated down with an umbrella and sat at an extended table. “Welcome again to another Q&A, this time I’ll be joined by-” Just then, another Lolita with bright pink hair tied into pigtails & a frilly pink dress with a pink bow on her head drove an ice cream truck through a wall as she said, “You!” Another Lolita with bleached white hair who wore a white & blue patterned dress with additional stockings floated in through the wall & quietly sat at the table as she said, “Me.” Another Lolita with unkempt red hair with it covering one eye while the other was bloodshot & had tears of blood dripping down. She wore a blood strained wedding dress & had cuts all over her visible skin, she crawled over to the table as she eerily cried, “Yoooooou…” Another Lolita with purple highlights in her hair, wearing a black & white shirt with a skull on it & a black & red patterned skirt flipped several times into the room & landed in a chair. “Me.”

The white haired Lolita then said, “Now that we’re all together, let us begin. First caller, you’re on the air.”

“Well I had some questions but I’m kinda dumbfounded. Did you get affected by that machine too?”

“You silly weirdo! We deliberately did this because the opportunity was worth considering.” The pink haired one said.

“We may as well introduce ourselves.” The white haired one spoke. “The one on the far corner is Gothic, the one sitting to my right is Sweet, I shall be known as Shiro, the depressing girl to my left is Guro, and the one at the far end is Punk.”

“Ahh, I see, well that’s cool. Oh, right, the last one seemed a little rushed, not that I didn’t enjoy it, of course.”

“Sadly a lot of it had to be cut or trimmed down.” Gothic replied. “As you could easily guess at numerous points.”

“There was sadly never a point where 5 personalities of one person were all together.”

“So what do you call this?”

“I don’t mean something like this. I just-”

“Yes, yes, let’s move on.” Gothic cut him off. “Next caller, please.”

“This is a surprise, so what are your interests?”

“Reading.” Gothic said as she drank tea.

“Eating.” Sweet said with a smile.

“Poetry.” Shiro replied.

“I have no interests…” Guro muttered.

“****ing.” Punk casually said.

“Now, now, no swearing.” Shiro responded.

“Whatever, who’s next?”

“Hey there, so did you guys come up with the personalities yourself, or did you figure it out from the basic traits.”

“What you’re saying sounds like you’re labelling us.” Gothic said, while Punk sighed as she knew what was coming. “You can’t simply assign single tags to people & call it a day like they’ll never be anything more, expecting them to always be pigeonholed into one role for eternity. That requires no thought, and that is simply terrible. People are different in one way or another, people are complex, you can’t just stereotype groups of people and apply it to others. There are a variety of emotions within people, you may not see them very often, maybe rarely, maybe only tiny glimpses of a particular personality, but it’s still there.”

“Was that the point behind this whole thing?” Punk asked.

“Goth-tan is right!” Sweet exclaimed. “Not all suicidal girls are drowsy like Guro, after all!”

“Wha?” Guro replied, raising her head slightly.

“Don’t call me that.” Gothic said, turning to Sweet. “Now, do you understand how demeaning you can be when you use those words?”

“I…barely said much. I’m just gonna go now…”

“Thanks for calling. Take care.” Shiro waved.

“Yo, just called in to ask how many more of these things are left.”

“I believe there’s two more?” Shiro asked.

“That would be correct.” Gothic replied.

“Two more?!? But I don’t wanna be separated from you guys so soon!” She placed her hands on her cheeks & shaked her head.

“I’d rather be a mile away from you.”

Punk raised her hand. “I’d like two miles.”

“Uguu~, Goth-tan & Punk-san are picking on me, but I know that’s just how you show your love!”

“Stop calling me that!” Gothic yelled.

Punk shrugged. “She’s a dumb bitch, but at least I got -san.”

“Die in a fire.”

“Um, what do you think, Guro?” Shiro asked.

“Life is pain, man. I’ll live how I die, alone.”

Shiro clutched her chest. “Such deep words…”

“Sweet isn’t the only one with a few screws loose.” Punk remarked.

“Don’t worry, Guro-chan! I’ll die with you so you won’t be alone!” Sweet said.

“Please do.” Gothic replied. “I also believe the last caller left a while ago, so, next caller.”

“You guys have any plans or something coming out after this?”

“Well there is that game we’re doing.” Punk said. “This 4-player beam ‘em up with me & my friends as the playable characters. We have our unique fighting style & stuff, except Pandora so we just gave her that old umbrella she used to have.”

“So are we like the Leo of the game or something?” Guro asked.


“The dual swords, that’s our thing, right?”

“Yeah, I suppose.”

“There’s also the racing game, The Most Epic Kart Racing Ever 19.” Shiro said. “We now have around 40 characters & over 30 tracks.”

“What are the tracks, Shiro-senpai?” Sweet asked.

She pulled out a list. “There’s The Base of Doom, both the original & the latest update. A snowy course called Brokeback Blizzard, Omar’s Carnival of Chaos, something called Knife’s Playground, this rocky place called Intergalactic Wasteland, Noisy Hill, Holy Sanctuary which is on Ruby’s planet, Willard’s Evil Council of Doom, Poison’s Airship in that one story that never happened, Rainbow’s Ritual Cave, Rosie’s Castle, oh, and Fortune City, that one place Ivy & Ruby seem to regularly destroy. Damien’s Island, Masterman’s Nightclub, Delicious Fried Carting, The Random Zone, The Underworld Beach, Centre of the Parallel Universes, Hell High School, Lily Locket’s Woods, Dawn’s Bloody Base no. 51, Pandora’s Box of Horrors which was made up, Aterlilic Mine, Krazy Katie’s Kukupad, Demon Lord Clubhouse, The Haunted Bath House, Donut Factory, The Asylum, Valerie’s Frozen Park, Fuka’s Flying Fortress and PAL’s Space Station. There’s also some generic RPG looking track, I’m unsure what that’s about.”

“Too long, didn’t hear. Lel.” Guro remarked.

“I don’t think we’re getting enough screen time.” Sweet said.

“Most people aren’t, I believe.” Shiro replied.

“We should get our own full show! Just the five of us, we’ll be in a club & it’ll be about cute girls doing cute things. Gothic will be the new transfer student who joins our class so we have a fifth member for the club.”

Ehhhhh?!?” Guro, Shiro & Punk exclaimed in unison.

“Yeah! Just like that!”

“That’s stupid.” Gothic replied. “Yet another insulting expectation. Why must we be defined by how cute we are to the point being brain damaged can be hand waved as being cute. Why can’t we be defined as actual characters? Focus more on entertaining others & less on being meek moeblobs incapable of any intelligent thought.”

“Hmm, you have a point.” Shiro replied. “Very well, I’ll put up a poll for you viewers to vote on which of us you like the most. We’ll end it after a commercial break I suppose.” 

“What’s wrong with being cute?” Punk asked.

“Cuteness is weakness.” Gothic replied. “It should never be a defining characteristic.”

“I happen to think you’re the cutest little thing, Goth-tan.” Sweet responded.

“You’re still a complete moron.” She turned to Punk. “Besides, why would you care about cuteness?”

“I don’t give a fuck.” Punk shrugged. “Though it pisses you off & that’s good enough.”

“I agree with her, man.” Guro muttered. “I just wanna cut out those big jelly-like eyes and put them on toast. I’d probably die from the sugar, hehehehe.”

“As I was saying,” Gothic took a sip of her tea. “Just look at Ivy, she’s obnoxious, egocentric, self-centred, and rather open about her interests & desires. Generally the antithesis of such cute themes.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.” Punk replied. “What about the insecurities thing?”

“Those were ages ago, mainly as a result of how she looked, which is no longer an issue. She basically represents the seven deadly sins: Lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy & pride, and yet she’s an entertaining character because of these many traits.”

“So being an asshole makes you an entertaining character?”

“I suppose it would.”

Shiro cleared her throat. “I don’t mean to interrupt but we’re still in the middle of something. Next caller, please.”

“Uhh, hey, I think you guys should try adding some more guys soon.”

“More guys? What are you, gay?” Punk asked.

“I am, actually.”

“Oh…I’ll shut up then.”

“Do not worry, we will not be adding anymore girls.” Shiro said. “But there won’t be any guys either. Next caller, please.”

“So what panties are you guys all wearing?”

“That’s incredibly rude & perverse.” Gothic replied. “Such disgusting behaviour.”

Sweet patted her on the head. “For someone who dislikes cuteness, you sure are a cutie!”

“Touch me again & I will end you.”

“Uguu~, Gothic threatened to kill me, so scary~”

Guro chuckled. “Hehehe, that really is kinda funny.”

“What an entertaining character.” Sweet patted Gothic’s head again, who retaliated by punching her.

As Gothic beat up Sweet in the background, Punk turned to the camera & said, “Me personally, I don’t even wear panties.”

“That’s no good, Punk. You’ll risk others seeing.” Shiro replied.


“Though others seeing your underwear can also be a little embarrassing.”

“Why?” Guro lifted her head. “Underwear is a simply another form of swimsuit, man.”

“I’ve never thought about it like that.”

“Probably because that’s stupid.” Punk remarked. As she wasn’t able to ignore Gothic beating up Sweet in the background any longer, she sighed & got up. “Fuck it, I want in on this.” She ran over & clotheslined Sweet, helped her to her feet then the two hit her with an axe kick.

“Oh my!” Shiro exclaimed as she watched them power bomb Sweet. “Guro! Please do something about this madness!”

“Okay.” She slowly got up & threw herself on top of Sweet as Gothic & Punk were taking turns doing repeated elbow drops.

Shiro sighed. “Well let’s take a quick break, we’ll be right back.”


Someone was sitting in a pitch black living room when a voice spoke. “Hey you!” The figure looked around. “Do you feel lonely? Have trouble talking to others? Want someone to cuddle with?” He nodded to all three. Suddenly the lights switched on & a life size doll of Pandora was thrown on the sofa from offscreen. “Well now there’s the Hug Me Pandora! With this priceless treasure you never have to feel lonely again! You can find many ways to cuddle!”

It began showing different scenes as the voice went on. “Don’t feel as secure with that seatbeat on while driving? Hug your Pandora doll instead! Get frightened while watching a scary movie? Hug your Pandora doll, you pansy! Had a bad day at work? Don’t you worry, your Pandora doll will always be there to comfort you at any time. About to go to bed? Why not cuddle as you sleep? This & so much more can be yours with the Hug Me Pandora!”

Someone who’s face was blurred out placed the doll on top of him near his face. It started vibrating as it peed on him, then the voice spoke. “Better yet, we included a function that makes it pee when she sits on you, be a little careful when applying her to your face.”

The man turned to the camera & said, “Wow, it’s almost like real urine!”

“Uhh, yeah, sure.”

It cut back to the sofa again as the voice continued. “We’re not done yet! The doll comes with over 50 phrases that she’ll say when you hug her, just watch!”

The man hugged her, making her say, “I’m still 15 years old, no funny business.” He hugged her again, “Please let me go, I’ll kill you otherwise.” He did it again. “It’s quite sad that you’re so dependant on me.” And again. “Make yourself useful & give me a piggyback ride later.” And again. “I know I’m adorable but please have some restraint.” And once more. “You may be a complete loser, but I suppose a hug is fine.”

“Just hear what our previous customers had to say about this great product!”

On the streets, Kate with a fake moustache was being asked about the doll. “The skin & clothing feels so lifelike! I had her sit on my face & she peed up my nose, it was amazing! I was rather annoyed that she didn’t respond when I removed her clothes & underwear though. Get it together, people!”

They moved on to talk to Damien about the product. “I found it to be-” The rest of his words were blatantly dubbed over, “The best thing I’ve ever spent money on. How could you not want to cuddle with such a thing? Those body pillows are so last decade & my wife just doesn’t do it for me anymore. The Hug Me Pandora is the way of the future.”

They then moved on to talk to Ricky about it. “You made what? This is the first time I’m even hearing about this. Does Pandora even know you’re making these? She’d likely sue you guys, y’know…I’ll take two.”

The voice showed up again. “Buy it for friends! Old people you’d rather not spend time with! Your pets! That crazy cat lady down the street! And more! The Hug Me Pandora is available for the low, low price of $59.95 including shipping & handling. Order now & get the modern & bunny costumes free! The Hug Me Pandora, waiting for a hug at a store near you!”
The five Lolita’s were back at the table with Sweet having bruises in many areas. She pumped her fist & exclaimed, “I’m gonna get my Pandora right now!”

“I’d be interested in a Damien doll…” Shiro muttered.

“My point still stands.” Gothic said.

“You don’t think the doll is cute?” Punk asked.

“It’s adorable! Just like the real thing!” Sweet responded.

“It’s bad to have any direct contact with that girl..” Gothic said. “She’s like a parasite, she tries to burrow beneath your skin & suck out as much of your soul as she can. Don’t let her words fool you, she’s very manipulative of others around her that show any kind of sympathy.”

“Oh, she mad.” Guro commented.

“That girl could always be quite bothersome.” Shiro said. “Though I found it hard to stay mad at her for very long.”

“Guys, remember back when she was a total newbie?” Sweet asked. “She was so awestuck by our skills that she started imitating us for a really long time. It was so cute! I wanna take her home!”

“In a way, you could say she’s still attempting to imitate us…” Punk remarked.

“I believe we should get back to that poll, we should be rapping up shortly after all.” Shiro brought out the list. “At first is Guro, followed by Sweet, me, Punk & then Gothic.”

“How is Guro at the top?” Punk asked. “The bitch barely even talks!”

“I only say what’s needed to be said, Punk. I’m a woman of little words.” She waved at the camera. “Thanks for the support, I guess. Maybe it’s not so bad.”

“Thank you to all those who voted for me!” Sweet exclaimed. “I may not have won but I’ll keep trying my best!”

“Gothic was pretty low on that list.” Punk said, looking at it. “By like a mile. She’s probably pretty mad, considering she’s not saying much.”

“I’m not mad! If I said something you’d all assume I was mad so I figured I’d say nothing.”

“You still seem mad.” Guro replied.

“How can people even like you?”

Shiro chuckled. “That comment is rather ironic, Gothic.”

“It’s probably woobie moe.” Punk said.

“Didn’t know people liked zombies that much.” Gothic replied.

“We should at least get one more question while we can.” Shiro said. “Next caller, you’re on the air.”

“Um, hey, my cousin has a daughter & her birthday is coming up soon but I‘m not too sure what to get her, what do you suggest?”

“Get her a stuffed animal.” Punk replied. “Bitches love stuffed animals.”

“Alright, thanks.”

“Next caller.”

“Hi! Sandra here, again! How come nobody told me about the whole cloning thing with the personalities and all? I missed the chance to meet the Damien that I fell in love with because I was on vacation!”

“Life sucks, deal with it.” Guro replied. “Many others get dealt with worse cards, you play them or fold.”

Shiro clutched her chest. “So deep…”

Punk imitated her as she said, “So stupid…”

“If you were there that day I’d have probably killed you.” Gothic said.

“But she sounds cute!” Sweet said. “How could you!”

“More incentive to do so.”

Sandra coughed. “Uhh, I’m gonna hang up now, you guys are plain weird.”

Shiro cleared her throat. “Let’s wrap this up now. That’s all we have time for, thanks for tuning in.”

“Bye-bye!” Sweet exclaimed as the five of them waved. Guro’s head suddenly fell off & a geyser of blood sprayed out from her neck as Shiro & Punk left while Gothic protected herself with her umbrella.
« Last Edit: 19 June, 2014, 12:24:31 pm by Satsuki Kiryuin » Report Spam   Logged

Pages: 1 ... 26 27 28 29 [30] 31   Go Up
Jump to:  

Powered by EzPortal
Bookmark this site! | Upgrade This Forum
SMF For Free - Create your own Forum

Powered by SMF | SMF © 2016, Simple Machines
Privacy Policy