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Marie Rose
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It was really long so I'll post the last part next week.
The following is a non-profit fan based parody. Many things that’ll be brought up are owned by companies I can’t be bothered to look up. Please support the official release.
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TMEDCE: Only Vixen Attention
It was a blah day on blah blah. Blah blah blah. A UFO flew towards Ivy’s current location & landed. A stereotypical butler stepped out & ran the doorbell, who was then greeted by Poison. “Can I help you?”
“Yes, pardon me but I’m for a certain individual by the name of Poison Ivy.”
“Hold on.” Poison sighed then yelled, “Ivy, what did you do this time?”
“Why would you automatically assume I did something bad?” She yelled back.
“Is that a rhetorical question?”
“So what’s the problem?” Ivy asked, coming to the door.
Moving along, Ivy & Poison, accompanied by Goldia, got onto the UFO & they then took off into space. The butler introduced them to a boy & girl abroad the UFO. The boy wore an open green denim jacket with a plain white shirt & shorts. He also had spiky black hair & wore a ‘Top Lel’ cap with enough space to have his hair protrude from the back. The girl wore a black & blue german girl themed costume, with blonde drill hair and freckles.
“Hey there.” The guy said as he bowed. “My name is Meingar, and this here is Annie-May.”
“Please call me Annie.” She curtsied.
“Oh, hey. I’m-” Ivy began.
“No need, we know you guys already.”
“Huh. So why are we here again?” Poison asked.
“Well your ratings haven’t been very good.” Meingar replied.
“The show kinda sucks now.” Annie added.
“What show is this?” Ivy asked.
“Let’s not beat around the bush now. Views have dropped ever since you got older.”
“How peculiar.” Goldia said.
“No-one wants to watch a show about old fogies.” Annie added.
“How old are you anyway?” Poison asked.
“You shouldn’t ask a woman her age, silly.”
“Anyway,” Meingar began, “We need to change things and get views up.”
“Fuck those guys.” Ivy replied. “If they were unwilling to stick around than they clearly had bad taste.”
“That’s true but we still need the views.”
“Now Mein, do you mind if I call you Mein?” Poison asked.
“I do, actually.”
“Alright, Mein. So what do you have in mind anyway?”
“Okay, check it. There’s this boy and he goes to a high school-”
Goldia raised her hand. “Is he an ordinary high school student?”
“As ordinary as can be. One day he gets these special powers just because then an alien who looks like a normal girl falls out of the sky & lands on him. She warns him that an evil generically evil alien warlord is coming to enslave the planet & now he needs to fight off defeat these invaders.”
Goldia raised her hand again. “Is the alien warlord a woman?”
“Obviously, no reason not to make her one.”
“So do you guys have actors prepared or something?” Ivy asked.
“We’re gonna make use of the people already on the show.” Annie replied. “We’re almost at the studio so we should use the teleporter to bring everyone here.”
Goldia raised her hand. “If you can just casually teleport people here why d-”
“Shut up.”
“…Okay.”
The UFO flew through a purplefied lightning storm planet & arrived at a massive studio set. After having gathered a whole bunch of people from numerous planets they explained what was going on while everyone went about their business & explored the area.
“Okay, Harry, you’ll be the protagonist.” Mein said.
“Not that I mind, but why me?”
“Dunno, you just seem like a natural harem protagonist to me.”
“Wow, that wasn’t harsh or anything.”
“That was a compliment, dude.”
“I’m not so sure.”
“Why exactly aren’t we making another show with me as the main character?” Ivy asked.
“You sure you’re the main character?”
“Didn’t you say you saw the show? Of course I am!”
Annie turned to Poison. “You’re not the main character?”
“Well I’m a main character, just not technically the main character.”
Annie turned to Ruby. “I thought you’d be more likely as the main character.”
“I should be but sadly I’m not.”
“What about that Damien guy? Would that-”
“Enough!” Ivy interrupted her. “I’m not some stupid little sister, some insignificant girlfriend, ditzy side character or some crappy cameo. I’m the main character! Numero uno! Get your info straight, people!”
“But aren’t you the bad guy?” Mein asked.
“You’ve never heard of a villain protagonist?”
“Not to mentioning being on the bad side allows you to do questionable things & get away with it.” Poison said.
“Also Ivy manages to maintain popularity from the audience by being cartoonishly evil instead of being serious about it." Goldia said. "It also allows her to look less evil in comparison to other more pressing threats & gain more support from fans as the underdog, by seeming different from people like Damien."
“I’m really not that evil.” Damien replied as he approached them, while Annie left.
“I thought I was the underdog?” Ruby asked.
“Only normally.” Ivy replied. “A villain protagonist role is also appealing because I like acting like a Saturday morning cartoon villain.”
“I also like being a super heroine.”
“Even though you guys seem to destroy so many things.” Gary began as he walked over. “The only thing that seems to get beat up when you two go at it is the environment. Do you guys just stop caring about what’s around you, or do you go out of your way to destroy whatever you can get your hands on?”
“Both.” Ivy shrugged.
“What’s your excuse?” Gary asked, turning to Ruby.
“Uhh…she started it?”
“And you call yourself a heroine…”
“Sorry to interrupt your long conversation but I’d like to start this fantasy anime.” Mein said.
“Hold on!” Annie ran back over. “We can save a lot of money by just making a generic high school harem comedy instead!”
“But I wanted my aliens…”
“Screw that! At least this way we’re guaranteed to not lose too much money if it flops.”
“Is this really necessary?” Ivy asked.
“YES! WE NEED TO CUT AS MUCH CORNERS AS WE CAN TO SAVE MONEY BECAUSE THIS MEDIUM IS A DYING ONE! YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND.”
“Alright, just calm down.”
“NO, YOU CALM DOWN. Okay, let’s start, everyone in positions.”
“This situation feels familiar for some odd reason…”
In a average bedroom, Ruby walked into the room wearing a bland white & green sailor fuku as she cried, “Onii-chan! Wake up or you’re going to be late!” She tried to shake him awake to no avail, so she climbed onto a bookcase & hit him with a five star frog splash. Poison bolted upright from the impact into her cleavage. “Kyaa!” Ruby exclaimed woodenly as she punched him through a wall & covered her chest. “baka onii-chan…”
“Add in a blush later on.” Mein said to a producer off the set.
Ruby ran out the house with a big loaf of bread in her mouth. Poison followed shortly after as he ran to school while monologuing. “My name is Johnson Harry & I’m an ordinary high school 2nd year student. I’m looking forward to this year & hope I have a normal life with everything going perfect.” As he turned a corner, he bumped into Ivy who wore the same uniform, and by bumped I mean she tackled him. They spun 180 degrees in the air so she could land ass-to-mouth on top of him.
“Why you no good pervert!” She got up & tried to stomp on his face but missed as he rolled & had her foot go through the floor.
“What the hell?! You were seriously trying to hurt me there!” Poison exclaimed.
“Urusai, baka!” Ivy punched through a wall as he moved out the way.
“Hey, Harry, you gotta stop moving, man.” Mein said.
“Yeah, Harry-kun, take your beating.” Ivy added.
“Not on my birthday, and not today.”
She tripped her as she swung at him, revealing her heart laced panties. “Kyaa!” Ivy exclaimed, covering herself as she got up. “You jerk! You’ll pay for that!” She said before running off.
“Is that in the script?” Goldia asked, while Mein & Annie shrugged.
When Poison got to school, he quickly took his seat at the back of the room just behind Leo beside the window while Nookie, as the teacher, wasn‘t saying much of importance.
“Hey, Harry.” Leo began. “I heard some guy made a new peephole to spy on the girls changing rooms. Wanna check it out?”
“While I’m interested I can’t technically be too interested, so no thanks.” Poison then glanced at Annie-May across the room, now wearing a school uniform too. All the mannequins stared in amazement as she walked past & took a seat.
“Ahh, Annie-May." Leo began. "The one girl voted most beautiful in the class & your stereotypical dream girl. She’s kind, innocent and has a maxed out cooking stat, she’ll make a great housewife one day.”
“Hmph!” Daisy muttered, sitting beside Leo while eating caeki. “I’m more beautiful than her, isn’t that right, my childhood friend, Harry-kun?”
“You’d be much cuter if you stuffed your face less.”
Daisy blushed. “O-okay, I’ll go on a diet.”
As Poison stared out the window, Katie suddenly climbed in from outside, her shirt so drenched in sweat that you could see her blue bra, and shoved her cleavage into his face. “Oh, morning, Harry-kun.”
“Don’t ’morning’ me! Get those smelly things out of my face!”
“Tee-hee! Sorry about that!” She fully climbed in & sat beside him.
“I wish you would act like a normal girl, you’d be much cuter that way.”
She blushed. “If that’s what you want, Harry-kun…”
Amber suddenly showed up in a basketball uniform & waved while dribbling the ball. “Yo! I got a basketball game to practice for next week, care for a little 1v1 later?”
“I thought you were a cheerleader?” Poison asked.
“I’m both. So can you help me?”
“Alright, I’m always ready to help a girl in need.”
“That’s not sarcasm or roleplaying either.” Goldia said from offscreen.
At the front of the classroom, Brian, wearing a Velociraptor suit, decided to translate for Nookie. “Please take your seats, class. I know this is sudden, but I’d like to introduce a new transfer student who’ll be joining our class.”
“This is the third one this week!” A student responded.
“The school is surprisingly lax about this sort of thing. Anyway, please come in, young lady.”
The door slid open then Ivy entered in slow-motion and sparkles filled the air as she got the attention of everyone in the room. She stood by the desk & turned to the class. “My name is McBadass Ivy. Nice to meet you, I guess.”
There were all kinds of loud gossipers saying such things as, “Isn’t she the principal’s great-great granddaughter?”, “Her breasts look amazing!”, and, “She’s even more beautiful than Annie-May!”
“W-what! That’s so not true!” Annie yelled, slamming her desk.
“Annie, that’s not in the script.” Mein replied.
“It’s bullshit is what it is!”
“Don’t hate on perfection.” Ivy responded.
“You obnoxious bitch!”
Several people held Annie back from her attempted assault, and they finally got back on track minutes later.
“Oh, crap, it’s her!” Poison said, trying to hide beneath his desk.
As Ivy walked down the rows to find a seat, she noticed him. “You! You’re that pervert from this morning!”
“That wasn’t my fault, it was an accident!”
“Urusai! You saw my panties & touched my butt!”
All the boys were filled with a murderous rage from knowing this.
“H-hold on, guys! It’s not what you think!”
“On my planet, we can’t allow other guys besides ourselves to engage in perverse acts & let them get away with it!” Leo exclaimed.
“That’s not in the script either.” Mein commented.
They then tried to beat Poison up so he ran out the classroom & eventually ran into Rosie with them both doing a 180 degree turn so she was on top with her breasts in his face. She sighed & got off him. “Why must you always get into these kinds of positions?”
“Sorry, student council president.”
“You should stop running in the hall, and improve your attendance, and you need to join a club.”
“Yes, prez. I’ll join the astronomy club.”
And so he did, and conveniently all the girls earlier on that day had done so too, but the club could only have 7 members so Leo couldn’t join. Poison bumped into Ivy on the way in & landed on top of her with his hands on her chest. He squeezed it multiple times before she punched him through the roof as she yelled, “Pervert!”
A minute later he came back & noticed Amber. “I thought you were on the basketball team & the cheerleading team?”
“I had some time to spare so I figured I’d join this club too.”
Poison sat down beside Annie-May & they smiled at each other.
“And that’s a rap!” Annie suddenly yelled. “Next up is the beach episode!”
“It’s only the second episode!” Poison exclaimed.
“We should stop.” Mein said. “This kinda sucks, let’s do something else.”
“Oh fine, just don’t pick something dumb.”
“I’m kinda surprised you didn’t play the imouto, honestly.” Poison said.
“Oh my! We only just recently met & you’re already hitting on me, you sly dog.”
“I simply thought you had a really youthful appearance that fit.”
“I can appear even younger if that’s what you wish.”
“I’m gonna stop now.”
“Let’s go the magical girl route!” Mein exclaimed, pointing to the sky, then handed out costumes. “I got it all ready, let’s start.”
Ruby’s outfit was a pink & white dress sleeveless dress with exposed cleavage, a really short lace skirt, and the middle half partially missing to show off her midriff. “Uhh, is this really my outfit?”
“It’s lovely, isn’t it?” Mein replied.
“It’s a little too revealing, isn’t it?”
“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it quickly."
“But-”
“It looks great. Okay, showtime, people!”
“W-wait-”
Ruby woke up in a bright colourful bedroom as her alarm went off. Though still sleepy she slowly got out of bed to turn it off, wearing pink bear pajamas. “Man, I had some strange dream I found this hurt animal in some forest, weird. Oh well.” She then went into the shower as a voiceover spoke. “My name is Clear Ruby. I’m a third grader at Ovary elementary (?), a private school. In this household, I’m the youngest of three children. Though you will not see them because I’m late for school supposedly.”
After getting fully dressed, she ran past Crystal & two mannequin parents as she said, “Bye.” On her way there, she causally said, “I’m gonna take this route through a forest for a change.” There she found Nookie, appearing to be injured and carried-
“Hold on. Does it have to be…him?” Ruby asked.
“What do you mean?” Annie asked.
“Couldn’t it be like a ferret or a cat?”
“Nookie is cuter than any stupid rodents like that!” Ivy exclaimed.
“Whatever, I feel uncomfortable.”
“Nookie isn’t a bad person, it’ll be fine.” Annie replied.
“Oh fine.”
“Oh, and Annie,” Mein began. “Why are you rushing through these points?”
“The beginning parts are boring, obviously, I wanna get to the action quick.”
“But the buildup makes those parts more worthwhile.”
She laughed. “That’s stupid, Meingar, you’re stupid.”
In a room nearby, Lolita & her friends were sitting round a table playing cards when Ivy’s ship suddenly crashed through a wall nearby & a younger looking Ivy got out. The others ignored this.
"So I've made a lot of money streaming recently." Pandora randomly said.
"Is that so?" Ricky replied.
"Legions under Lawyers."
"Why didn't you say earlier?" Marie responded. "What class you play?"
"I barely play the game, really."
"But you-"
"I just wear a low cut top that shows off plenty of my cleavage & make it the vocal point of my camera. After that it doesn't seem to matter what I'm doing or if I'm even playing the game. The donations come pouring in."
"Oh wow."
"It's so simple too. Even if you haven't got big breasts you can always wear a push up bra."
"You're a horrible person." Ricky shook his head.
"You're just jealous you can't do it."
"...You're right, maybe I'll get implants."
"Please don't." Pandora, Marie & Lolita listening in said in unison.
Back on set, Ruby reluctantly took Nookie to see Dawn who was eating a kebab & didn’t look interested at all in this role. “Well it should be better given some time. It was carrying this red jewel but that doesn’t seem important. You should let it rest, feel free to come back tomorrow.”
“’Kay.”
She went home & asked if she could keep the pet, with Crystal being too busy on her phone to care & the mannequin parents being fine with it.
While getting ready for bed in her room, Nookie communicated to her telepathically, “Blah blah blah, blah blah blah!” Ruby gasped, realizing he was in trouble & jumped out the window towards his location.
Nookie was being attacked by Tyson in a bear costume when Ruby arrived & picked Nookie up using her powers because she didn’t want to physically to touch him, then ran. A voiceover of Nookie then spoke. “Thanks for helping me earlier, I came from another planet to accomplish something I won’t explain until another episode or two. But I’m going to need your help, use this red jewel I’m wearing to become a magical girl.”
“Well alright.”
Ruby signed a few contracts before she was finally given the jewel. “Back on my planet, you now just say these words.” Nookie handed her a piece of paper.
“I am the one who has been given a mission. Under the contract, release those powers. Winds to the yadda yadda yadda, make me a magical girl!” Ruby pointed up for a few moments. “Umm, will I get a transformation sequence?”
“Nah, too pricey.” Annie replied.
“Hold on, it would seem better to just make one then use it as stock footage every time.” Mein said.
“Okay, we’ll add it in later.” Annie said as the younger Ivy entered the room & stood beside the two.
The bear charged at Ruby shortly after getting into her costume. She quickly spun round & pointed her staff at it as she said, “Raging Heart, wrap it up!” And then the bear was covered in wrapping paper for several more months. “Yay! I did it!”
“Not so fast!” Ivy suddenly appeared atop a skyscraper wearing what was basically a black leotard with a bunch of belts on it & a cape. “I, your rival, have made my grand entrance to beat the hell out of you!”
“Bring it! I may be an innocent starter, but as the heroine of justice, I will end you in the name of the moon!”
As the two charged at each other, Gary appeared nearby wearing a tuxedo, black top hat & a mask that only covered his eyes while holding a rose. “Remember, Sailor Sun, use the force!”
“What the hell is going on!” Meingar yelled. “You guys are mixing things up, saying the wrong lines & rushing way too fast! Everyone stop!”
“No! Let them continue!” Anime replied. “It’s getting good!”
“But they’ll destroy the set!”
“Excuse me.” The younger Ivy tugged at his shirt.
“And why is there another Ivy here all of a sudden?!?”
Ivy & Ruby stopped fighting for a moment to look, then separated. “Ahh, it’s slowly coming back a little.”
“I assume you know why I’m here.” She said.
“Not entirely.”
“Isn’t it obvious? I need to know, when do I get…that kind of body...”
Ivy shrugged. “I forget.”
“Blasphemy! How can you forget something so important?! An aspect so urgent?!”
“It didn’t end up seeming that important after all. Just wait, you’ll know in time.”
“But I wanna know right now! Tell me already!”
Ivy sighed. “I forgot how bratty I used to be…”
“Used to?” Poison remarked, before getting a chair thrown at him.
“Look, I’ll try to remember, just wait a while. Was crashing in here with the ship necessary?”
“I came to this time in the ship. Obviously my planet wasn't going to be in the same spot when I arrived, duh! So I needed the ship just in case."
"My younger self is treating me like an idiot. I really needed this..."
"What’s even going on here anyway?”
“Your show’s starting to suck so we’re making new ones.” Annie replied.
“We should cut this one loose, I’ve got a better idea.” Mein said. “Get those five little girls so we can start.”
Two astronauts on Mars foolishly removed the lid blocking a pipe they found. The younger Ivy, wearing a big brown robe & a crystal horned helmet, emerged & stretched before blasting them to bits. Goldia, Nookie and Poison showed up shortly before she said, “Ahh! After ten thousand years I’m free!” She pointed to a planet in the background as she said, “It’s time to conquer Earth!”
As an earthquake happened, in a big computer room elsewhere, Dwanye’s head appeared on a projector at the front of the room as he said to Toby dressed as a robot, “Beta, Ruto’s escaped. Recruit 5 overly stereotypical & disturbingly sexualized middle school girls with moeattude.”
At St. Rose Academy, two young girls with red & green hair respectively by the name of Tsundere-chan & Kuudere-chan were sparing in the middle of gym class although it looked like ballet. T-chan knocked K-chan down & extended her hand to help her up.
“You’ve gotten even better recently, Tsun.”
“I-It’s not like I’ve been practicing hard or anything, you’re just rusty, is all.”
“That’s true too.” The bell suddenly rang. “Guess we’d better go meet the others.”
A girl with blue hair was chasing a boy through the hallways, who then jumped out a window to avoid her. Another girl with blonde hair ran over yelling, “Wait up, Yandere-chan!” Before tripping.
“You’re too slow, Dojikko-chan.”
“Sorry…”
Tsun & Kuu then approached them in their color coded uniforms.
“I assume Yan is trying to latch onto someone again.” Kuu said.
“You just don’t understand love, Kuu.” she replied.
“So where is Gan?” Tsun asked.
“She said she was going to ‘Shoot up some fools.’” Dojikko responded.
Right on que, a bunch of gunshots were heard outside & then a black girl jumped through a window near them. “Oh, hey guys.” She said, brushing off the glass.
“Trouble again?” Tsun asked.
“Nah, it’s cool.”
They proceeded to the cafeteria for some meatloaf & caeki when two bullies, Undead Rainbow & another girl with black hair in a ponytail & an eye patch approached them.
“Hey nerds, enjoying your food, huh?” Rainbow asked.
“You can have my meatloaf.” Gan said.
“Yeah, it’s gross.” Yan added.
“Fat chance, losers.” The eye patch girl said. “We’ll take your cake instead!” She grabbed Kuu’s cake.
“Drop it or I will end you.”
“Oooh, someone’s mad.” Rainbow said.
Suddenly an earthquake occurred, making every other student panic & run away. As the eye patch girl ran, Rainbow grabbed her by the collar. “Hey, where you going?”
“Anywhere but here!”
“But what about the cake?!”
“Screw the damn cake!” She escaped her grasp & ran.
Rainbow glared at the five. “This isn’t over, dorks!” She also ran.
“Shouldn’t we also go?” Dojikko asked.
“Gotta finish up first.” Yan replied.
“But-”
“Urusai!” Tsun yelled. “I’m eating here!”
The five of them were suddenly teleported far away to where Toby was.
“Greetings, young ladies.” He greeted them.
“Wow!” Dojikko exclaimed. “A person in a plastic suit!”
“Are we on Mars?” Yan asked.
“Welcome, humans.” Dwayne greeted them.
“And who’s that?” Kuu asked.
“That’s Zardoz. He’s just too lazy to be here in person.”
“Ignore him, he just wants a raise.” Dwayne said. “Now, I brought you here to give you superpowers to help save the earth from the tyranny of Ruto Reterdo. You have been chosen to form an elite team to face her, I will give you mechs from random animals of my choice. Tsundere-chan, you shall have the power of the T-Rex, iconic & leader-like. Kuudere-chan, the power of the falcon, strong & captain material. Yandere-chan, you‘ll have the spider, preying & domineering. Gang-uhh, the black one, you‘ll get the gorilla, rather intimidating & prone to violent behavior-”
“That sounds a little ra-”
“And finally, Dojikko, your power comes from the Hippo, stupid & dopey looking.”
“Hey!”
“So what are these cereal box decoder watches we’re suddenly wearing?” Kuu asked.
“Those are your henshin watches which you’ll need to transform.”
“This sounds incredibly dumb.” Gan said.
“I agree.” Yan added. “Let’s go shopping!”
“Fine but I wanna at least stop by that new candy store.” Tsun replied. Kuu waved goodbye as the group left while Dojikko tripped yet again.
On the way back, Ivy spotted them through a telescope, from her tower on the moon. “What’s this? Middle schoolers?!? That floating head must be behind this, but whatever.” She pointed her scythe at the earth & fired a beam as she said, “Silly fools who mess with my flo’, let them fight my gummy patrol!”
The blast landed near a mall & suddenly humanoid gummy bears rose out of the ground to fight them. They tried to fight them off while making all kinds of sounds but were ultimately too weak.
“These guys are pretty good actors.” Mein commented.
“Meh.” Annie shrugged.
Suddenly, a boy with black hair covering one eye and was wearing an all black assemble with a jacket, pants & hair showed up & began looking around.
"Y'know, for a long time many people thought I was a lesbian." Pandora randomly said.
"Not surprised, given how much you love Lolita." Marie replied.
"Yeah, it's unhealthy." Ricky added. "You also act really unpleasant towards most guys."
"It's not like I hate only guys. I hate almost everyone equally."
"Do you hate me too?" Damien asked.
"Yes, I hate you the most because you stole Lolita away from me! Give her back!"
"No! I found her first! Finders keepers."
"Well I called dibs!"
"You did not."
"Did so!"
"Will you two stop acting so childish & play nice?" Lolita asked.
"She/He started it." The two said in unison.
"So since you don't truly hate guys," Ricky began. "How about you come round my place so I can put some dressing on that salad?"
"...That was awful."
"Incredibly cringe worthy." Marie added.
"On purpose." Ricky replied.
"Don't you ever want to form a relationship with a person that goes beyond basic bodily urges?" Pandora asked. "Don't you want to truly connect spiritual with a significant other, settle down & raise a family?
"...Uhh, well."
"It's truly sad to see that from you, time & time again. How depressing."
"Now you're hurting my feelings again."
On set, Dojikko exclaimed, “Guys! We should use the watches!” And so they did, now having gained gimp suits while gaining a letter on the front, but more importantly they could now defeat the gummies, led by Goldia.
They leapt into action one at a time, front-flipping above the camera diagonally as they did so.
“Ba-kaaa!” Tsun cried, punching one in the face, then spun & kicked another as she cried, “Urusai-yaaaa!”
Kuu kneed one in the crotch as she calmly said, “Ta-daaaa.” then elbowed another as she said, “Oh-vaaaa.”
“Boomshakalakaaaa!” Gan exclaimed with a dropkick to ones face, then a flying downward punch as she yelled, “Suck-aaaa!”
Yan jumped & rapped her thighs around one’s neck & somehow snapped it as she cried, “Hey-yaaaa!”, then threw herself backwards into another’s face ass first as she yelled, “Tu-baaaa!”
Dojikko chopped one right in the throat as she yelled, “Wa-taaa!” then dodged a kick & uppercut another as she yelled, “Yat-taaaa!”
“Fools!” Ivy exclaimed, “They’re making me look stupid! They should gang up on the colored one & kill her first.”
“But they’re all colored, Reto.” Poison replied.
“You know what I mean!” Tsun & Kuu had beaten down Goldia with some staged martial arts. “Damn those girls! Alright, let’s see how they do against a titan!” Ivy held her scythe like a javalin & moved back behind a line, then started running & said, “Make Goldia grooow!” before throwing it towards the earth. As it landed near Goldia, a man showed up to call out the distance. Mein placed the camera under her to give the illusion Goldia was really growing, though she began to backhand the rangers after doing so.
“Oh no! What do we do now?!” Yan exclaimed.
“Yeah, she’s acting like we owe her money.” Gan added.
“We’re doomed!” Dojikko yelled.
The eight demon lords got on a stage nearby & began playing instruments as Tsun started speaking, with Blake being the vocalist.
“Get a hold of yourself!” Tsun slapped her. “Remember, we’ve got a power & force that they’ve never seen before.” Suddenly a montage of the zoids coming together played as she continued. “We’ve got the ability to morph & to even up the score. No-one could ever take us down. The power lies on our si-i-i-i-i-ide.”
“Great motivational speech.” Kuu replied, now that the five were in the big multicoloured dinosaur superzoid wielding a red samurai sword. “Though we could have just summoned these earlier & saved time.”
“It would have used too much power.”
“Compared to how much we’re abou-”
“Urusai!”
Due to not paying attention, Goldia punched them miles across the city into a building.
“Holy guacamole! Errybuddy run, it’s Gawzela!” A business man shouted as he pointed at the superzoid. The civilians in the area heeded his advice.
Ivy laughed as she watched. “Excellent, Goldia! Now blast those fools to oblivion!”
“Alright, here’s my Sunday best. PROTON CANNON!”
“INFINITY!” Mein yelled from offscreen just before Goldia fired the beam & sent the superzoid flying further away.
The boy on the set wearing all black was still looking around. Pandora nudged Marie & asked, “Hey, who’s that?”
“Dunno, haven’t seen him before.”
“But he looks like a shinigami. Lolita, do you know him?”
“It’s strange, I feel that I somehow do, yet I’ve never seen this boy before.”
On set, the superzoid got to its feet. “Let’s show them what we can do!” Tsun said. The red sword glowed brightly.
Annie struck a pose & yelled, “X!” before the superzoid dashed at Goldia & hit her with a dozen quick slashes.
What followed were a bunch of suplexes, dropkicks, clotheslines & body slams. Goldia charged at them while the five rangers stood in their cockpit & struck a pose. “Let’s end this!” Tsun exclaimed. The sword glowed even brighter as they hacked away at her while saying, “Rangers together!” in unison, then finished with a overhead swing as they said, “Middle schoolers forever!”, turned away from Goldia & sheathed the sword as Goldia exploded.
Ivy punched a wall. “Noooo! Damn it! Curse those girls! They haven’t seen the last of me but all this nonsense has given me such a headache!”
Mein clapped. “That was a great display, guys!”
Ivy stared at Poison as she took off the hat. As he noticed he turned to her, “What’s up?”
“I was just wondering if you’re the same one I know…”
“Yes, I am in fact still an asshole.”
“Figured as much.”
“So when do we get paid?” Gan asked.
“Shortly after we actually broadcast the episodes.” Mein replied.
“You going to get around to that soon?” Kuu asked.
“Sure!” responded Annie. “Probably in a week.”
“Maybe two.” Mein added.
“Uhh, Possibly a month.” said Annie nervously.
“It could even be two months.” Mein shrugged.
“When we feel like it, basically.”
“I just had another great idea, but first of all, who is this guy?” Mein looked over at the boy in all black.
“Who I am isn’t important. You all need to get out of here, this place isn‘t safe.”
“Hey! We own this place! Any of you guys know this person?” Annie asked, but got no satisfactory answer.
“Look, something bad is gonna happen soon so you all have to get away from here.”
“He apparently came here in a ship.” Daniel said as he entered the room. “Flew in through a wall.”
“It was because the planet wouldn’t be in the same s-never mind, would-” Ruby then knocked him out with a judo chop to the neck.
“Great work, Ruby. Now onto my next idea!” Mein exclaimed.
“I just don’t trust strangers.”
“Good, harden up & put on these uniforms.” Mein said, throwing Gary & Ruby a pair of cop uniforms.
Next was a montage of scenes showing Gary & Ruby reveling in police brutality while a song played over it.
Bad boys! What’cha want? What’cha want? What’cha gonna do? Wheeen Sheriff John Brown come for you?
Tell me! What’cha gonna do? What’cha gonna do? Yea-ahh!
Bad boys, bad boys, what’cha gonna do? What’cha gonna do when they come for you?
Bad boys, bad boys, what’cha gonna do? What’cha gonna do when they come for you?
Nobody no give no bre-ak, police no give you no break, that old soldier man no give you no break, not even your auntie no give no breaks, wah-hey!
Bad boys, bad boys, what’cha gonna do? What’cha gonna do when they come for you?
Bad boys, bad boys, what’cha gonna do? What’cha gonna do when they come for yooooou?
Cops is filmed on location as it happens, all suspects are considered guilty until proven innocent in a court of law.
Gary & Ruby were driving around in a cop car when Gary called in a crime. “We’re currently tracking a stolen vehicle, they’ve refused to stop so we’re chasing them through traffic.”
“13-21. Run them over if you have to.”
They managed to catch the car from a side street & smash right into it, pushing it all the way to a wall. Toby got out of the car with his hands up while Gary & Ruby got out pointing guns at him.
“GET YOUR ASS ON THE FLOOR!” Gary yelled.
“Okay! I surrender! Don’t shoot me!”
“GET LOW!”
“Alright! I’m doing it!”
“TO THE WINDOW!” Toby moved to the left. “TO THE WALL!” he moved further to the left.
Ruby dragged Sakura out of the other side & stomped on her repeatedly before preforming elbow drops then finally cuffed her.
“Alright, let’s hall them off to jail.” Gary said.
“W-wait a minute! You haven’t even questioned us!” Toby exclaimed.
“Yeah! Aren’t you at least going to hear us out?!” Sakura added.
“You scumbags are getting off light. We’re on a tight shift so don’t make me get brutal.” Ruby replied.
As they dragged them into the back of the police car, Crystal on the scanner began talking. “There’s a bakery robbery happening on St. Avenue right now.”
“13-21.” Ruby replied. “Goddamn cake snatchers, they disgust me.”
“The most heinous of all crimes.” Gary added.
“The thief stole 40 cakes.” Crystal said. “That’s as many as four tens. And that’s terrible.”
“Indeed, officer, indeed.”
Off the set, the mysterious boy woke up, tied down with black rope. Dwayne had gotten off the phone and said, “So Death doesn’t have this kid anywhere on his records.”
“You’re a shini, right?” Ricky asked. “No use denying it.”
“Yeah, but I’m not from around here. We all need to get out of here.”
“Why?”
“Did you see the look of this planet?”
“Looks like it caught a couple dozen STDs.” Marie replied.
“Uh…yeah. Soon this planet will be overrun with a monstrous invasion from another dimension.”
“We’ll just kill them then.” Lolita shrugged.
“Hell yeah we will!” Marie raised her hand for a high five that never came.
“Why can’t you just tell us who you are?” Daniel asked.
“It might be bad for me.”
“Did you just recently become a shinigami?” Pandora asked. “I could be your mentor, then maybe you could be my b-”
“You’re just as annoying here.”
“You’ve met me before?”
“No, forget I said anything.”
As they got a minute away from the crime scene they encountered the cake thief with his big bag of cakes & attempted to run him over.
“Hold on, we can’t run him over, we’ll ruin the cakes.” Ruby said.
“Alright, we’ll get him on foot.”
And so they followed the thief across rooftops & through open apartments until they split up briefly and Ruby tackled him on some stairs. Gary quickly arrived & after making sure the cakes were safe they began elbow dropping him repeatedly then cuffed him.
As they got back in the car Crystal spoke again. “We have a-”
“Hold on just a minute!” Annie exclaimed. “Meingar, this is stupid.”
“What? No it’s not.”
“Yes, you’re stupid, Meingar.”
"Saying it in a cutesy way doesn't automatically make it cute. Alright, genius, what do you have in mind?”
“We should make a shounen, duh! Something that can appeal to multiple groups!”
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