Message #930480

[Marie Rose]

This one wasn't really meant to be this early, but seeing how it was Christmas, I did it anyway.
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TMEDCE: Chapter 7 – Doomy Christmas

It was late Christmas Eve, and the streets were covered in snow. Ruby was strolling down a street wearing a puffy beige coat as she was singing. “Oh, the weather outside is frightful.” She put her arms around her. “And fire is so delightful, since I’ve no place to go...” As she skipped past a box of puppies, they sang in unison, “Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!”

“It doesn’t show signs of pauseping!” A bus suddenly drove past, the driver singing, “I’ve brought some corn for popping!” the driver then crashed in several cars due to not paying attention. “The streetlights are turned down low...” She then grabbed the hand of a bear who was walking by and they spun in circles as they both sang, “Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!”

Ruby continued walking; humming to herself when out of nowhere came a razor sharp boomerang from the side. Ruby happened to spot 5 bucks just ahead and picked it up as the boomerang flew by her. Ivy stood on a roof further away, quite angry that the boomerang missed. Ruby felt the cold air as the boomerang flew past her, and looked in the direction it came from to see Ivy. “Oh, it’s you...”

Ivy leaped off the roof and landed beside Ruby. “Well, of course! So what are you so cheery about, hmm?”

“Don’t you know? It’s almost Christmas!”

“Christmas? What’s that?”

“It’s where your close family and relatives come together once a year, have fun, eat food and celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ!”

“It doesn’t sound that great...” Ivy turned around and began to walk off until Ruby suddenly said, “And we also get presents!” Ivy immediately stopped and spun round. “Presents?”

“Yup.” Ruby nodded. “We get presents and can also give presents to others, as a way to represent our feelings towards those close to us. Santa also comes down the chimney of all the houses every Christmas morning at midnight to stack a few presents under the Christmas tree.”

“Santa? Christmas tree? Your information will come in handy, foolish angel. I shall now depart.” Ivy rushed off towards her house.

Upon kicking open the front door and running in, she noticed decorations around the place and a Christmas tree. “Poison! It’s nearly Christmas! I have to do something about this!”

“Oh boy...” Poison rolled his eyes as he sat on the couch, watching television.

“Don’t ‘oh boy’ me! I just heard about this Santa guy, and presents! I need to inform this guy of the many presents I want!”

“That’s what the ‘oh boy’ was about, and thanks to the carollers earlier, I looked up information about Santa, and you’re not gonna like it much.”

“How so?”

“Well, he has this ‘Naughty and Nice list’, which is to identify who’s been good over the year and who’s been bad. The good people get presents, while the bad people get coal, so I wouldn’t get your hopes up.”

“Hah! That’s stupid! I’m gonna write a letter to Santa, and he’d better get me what I want, or else!” She stormed off while Poison continued to watch television. Later that night, Ivy sat in bed, waiting for Santa to deliver the presents after the chance of him assuming everyone was asleep. After a little while, she ran downstairs and discovered that Poison was indeed right, and she had only gotten lumps of coal. She furiously ran down into the basement and brought out her ship, which she began making improvements upon, trying to turn it into a large battle ship. Two hours later, she had built a red armoured exterior over the ship, making it half the size of the house, just big enough to fit through the remote controlled space in the roof.

She went into Poison’s room, grabbed him and put him on the ship and then finally took off. Poison woke up shortly afterwards, yawned and then looked around. “Where am I and what are you doing?” 

“We’re going to teach a certain fat guy a lesson he’ll never forget.” Ivy said with a devious smile.

“Oh boy...” Poison replied, rolling his eyes again.

After a while of flying around the city, they soon spotted Santa on a roof, getting back onto his slay and taking off towards another house. Santa glanced at the incoming ship and continued at his own pace until Ivy’s ship produced laser cannons from the sides and opened fire on Santa’s slay. Santa put on his serious face and avoided the blasts, drifted to the right and threw a candy cane, knocking off one of Ivy’s laser cannons. Ivy continued to fire at him, with Santa easily evading all her attacks, until he was eventually hit. She followed through with several more blasts, causing Santa’s slay to spiral out of control and soon crash into a tree in a park, knocking Santa unconscious and injuring his reindeer, as well as smashing his slay into pieces.

“This is a new low, Ivy.” Poison shook his head in disgust over what he had just witnessed.

“Shut up! Since Santa didn’t fulfil his end of the deal, I’ll take all his presents!” Ivy crossed her arms and did an unusual laugh. “Hoooooohohohoho!”

“I see you changed your laugh a little for this occasion...”

Ivy landed by the stacks of presents and stuffed them into her ship, as well as the checklist Santa happened to be carrying, and took his hat while she was at it. On her way to find the houses Santa had already delivered presents to, she saw one of those Sexy Santa suits in a store that calendar girls are always wearing, so she broke in and took it. “Hey Poison, what do you think?”

Poison, who was wide awake at this point, shrugged. “You look as bratty as ever.”

“I hate you oh so much.” Ivy said as she started up her ship again and took off.

Ivy went around town for the next 30 minutes, climbing down the roofs of houses Santa had already visited and stealing their presents, which was presented as a slideshow as she sang that song from the Grinch. She soon arrived at the Loli Rangers house as the slideshow stopped. “I had no idea these guys got presents.”

“Do you really have to steal their presents?” Poison asked. “Not that I care much, but don’t you have enough?”

Santa never gave me anything, so I’ll take them all by force, and no-one will stop me!”

“And yet you wonder why most people hate you.” Poison retorted.

Ivy ignored him as she climbed down their roof to steal the Loli Rangers presents. Meanwhile, Ruby was skipping through the park, singing ‘Jingle Bells’ when she came across Santa. She gasped and rushed to his aid. “Santa! Are you okay?!? What happened here?” She shook him until he slowly opened his eyes.

He rubbed his forehead before speaking. “Some crazy **** went down. This girl brought this pimped out ship and tried to take me down, but I had mad skillz so it wasn’t easy. Sadly I got careless and got myself owned. So who may you be, little girl?”

“My name is Ruby. I was just going to any open store to get some milk. So this girl who shot you down, did she have pink hair and was accompanied by a green haired person?”

“As a matter of fact, yes, she was.”

“Ivy, I should have known.” Ruby put her hand to her heart. “Well I’ll do everything I can to help stop her!”

“Then take this.” He handed her a device similar to a Nintendo DS. “My slay is destroyed, but using that you can control a small ship I have and blast that girl out of the sky.”

“Oh, okay.” She switched it on and took out the stylus.

Back at the Loli Ranger’s house, Ivy got back into the ship as she said, “Its kinda weird how those five all sleep in the same bed.”

“They’re little girls; it’s not really weird at all.” Poison replied.

As they took off towards another house, Poison looked back and tapped Ivy on the shoulder. “Hey, we got a little company.”

The small ship transmitted Ruby’s voice as Ivy noticed the ship. “It’s over, Ivy! I’m going to take you down and get back those presents! I should have never told you about Christmas!”

“Damn straight!” Poison exclaimed. “Telling Ivy about Christmas is as bad as telling Pedobear about nursery schools.”

“Why must you think the worst of me?” Ivy asked.

“Have you not realized what you’ve spent the last few hours doing?”

“Anyway...” Ruby continued, getting their attention again. “I’m going to blast you out of the sky!”

Ivy laughed at her overconfidence. “Foolish angel! You’re far too low levelled to think you can defeat the final boss!”

“When did this become a video game?” Poison said to no-one in particular.

“Welcome to bullet hell!” Ivy suddenly summoned two smaller ships which connected to the left and right sides of the bigger ship, and produced laser cannons on the sides and on top of the ships. They opened fire upon Ruby’s ship, which was able to easily avoid hits by doing barrel rolls despite having to dodge thousands of lasers coming at her.

Spring and Floyd were watching this from a street corner close by where they were beating up a gang of snowmen. Floyd quickly glanced up and saw thousands of bullets filling the air. “Looks like s***’s getting real.”

“Indeed.” Spring replied.

As the two ships moved across the sky, Ivy’s ships health bar had gone down to 25% while Ruby had already lost two lives and was on her last. Santa managed to make it to the roof of a house close to them. He dashed across the roof and leaped high into the air towards Ivy’s ship. Poison informed Ivy of Santa’s sudden appearance, and they both quickly jumped out of the ship just as Santa launched a flaming downward kick at the ship, causing it to explode as he went through it. As she hit the ground, she looked up at gasped at the explosion following pieces of her ship hitting the pavement. “My ship! You blew it up!”

“I guess we’re even now.” Santa said right after sliding along the ground and coming to a halt.

“Even? Not even close! You dare to give me coal as a present and blow up my ship? Whatever I did was far from as bad as you just did! I’m going to kill you!” Ivy pointed at him.

Santa got into a fighting stance and began to power up, forming a glowing red aura which resonated from his body. “It’s been a while since I did this, let’s go, little girl.”

Ivy also powered up, also forming a red aura around her. “Let’s see what you got, old man!” Ivy charged at him and using the full force of her potential strength, she punched him through several cars. Santa flipped in midair and landed on his feet as Ivy charged at him again. Santa blocked her attacks, and attacked with waves of his aura, which she easily dodged before kicking him through a tree close to the park. As Ivy continued her assault, Santa quickly dashed towards her until he was a few feet away and kicked her through a building more than 30 feet away. As Ivy leaped out a window and into the air, she gathered her stored energy and fired a giant wave of fire, wiping out a thin layer of the ground where it hit across the whole park. 

Santa jumped up and prepared to punch her while Ivy did the same. As their fists connected, they made a giant shockwaves, knocking the leaves and snow off a majority of the trees. They both moved back and touched the ground away. Suddenly, Ruby ran up to the area yelling, “Stop the fighting, guys!”

“Get lost, Ruby, you’re ruining the moment!” Poison yelled from further away.

Ruby stopped in between them. “This is ridiculous, guys! It’s Christmas, you shouldn’t be fighting. It’s a time when everyone can have fun and talk about fond old memories, and learning to tolerate certain people that you otherwise couldn’t stand any other day of the year, regardless of the horrible things they may have done to you.”

Santa powered down upon listening to the young angel’s reasoning. “My goodness, she’s right! I let my stress get the better of me, but then again, this girl did injure my reindeer and steal my presents, but maybe I can tolerate it just for today.”

“That’s some crazy logic, old man.” Ivy replied.

“Maybe so. Well, I’d get back to work, but I haven’t really got a slay now...”

“You sure about that, Santa?” Just then, Awesome showed up with Santa’s slay and reindeer all healed, shocking everyone.

“Awesome?! What are you doing here?” Santa asked.

Poison slowly snuck up beside Ivy during this time and said, “Santa knows your dad?”

“Everyone knows my dad.” Ivy replied. 
 
“So I heard about the problem due to my incredibly sensitive hearing and fixed your slay for you.” Awesome said.

“Awesome, man, I got mad respect for you.” Santa replied.

“No sweat, man, you know you my booooooi!”

“So I still gotta deliver the rest of these presents, you coming with?”

“I’m down for that, and while we do that, we can talk about those good times we had like when we went head to head with those abominable snowmen who took over your place and held your workers hostage.”

“Oh yeah. That was a pretty stressful situation, but I’d be lying if I said it was fun.” As they got in the slay, Ivy approached them. “Oh yeah, old, guy, here’s your hat back.” She said before placing it on his head.

“I assume that’s your way of apologizing without actually saying it?” Santa inquired.

“You’d assume correctly.” Ivy nodded.

“Well here’s a spare present from me, it’s on the house.” Ivy was too shocked to reply as she took it. Santa immediately took off, and waved goodbye to the others. Santa’s ship suddenly went into hyperdrive, disappearing completely. As it did, Ivy came to her senses again and quickly began unwrapping the present. “I wonder what kind of amazing thing he got me...”

“I’m surprised you got anything at all...” Poison responded.

After unwrapping it, she found a plain white box, and inside it was a thin layer of coal. Ivy dropped the box and gritted her teeth as she stomped on the box. “What?!? That old geezer tricked me! Why that good for nothing, fat sack of s-”

“Watch the language there.” Poison interrupted.

“Whatever. I’m pretty damn furious. Where’s that foolish angel so I can take it out on her?” As Ivy looked to her left and right to her, Ruby was silently sneaking away from behind them. “Well it doesn’t matter. Let’s never celebrate Christmas again.”

Poison shrugged. “Whatever, I’m going round the Loli Rangers house tomorrow anyway.

“Only if you kiss the royal foot.”

“Don’t get your hopes up.”