The Something Something Demonic Something Ever

[Marie Rose]

I figured I'd be slightly different with this one. I don't do this regularly because half the chapters are long enough normally and being slightly more descriptive might make them a lot longer, plus I'm just lazy. Should I keep this style or go back to my basics?
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TMEDCE: Chapter 33 - A Vamp and Her Cat

We open to the viewpoint of a camera, steadily moving along some dark corridors when it spotted a light source in one room ahead. Upon entering, the room was also dark apart from the fireplace which brightened half the room, located near was an armchair where Willard sat, reading a book and drinking from his coffee mug. Willard glanced up, and after noticing he gestured to a seat further away as he put the mug down on the table. “Why hello there, come, please take a seat. You just happened to catch me in the middle of a riveting tale. Would you care to hear it?” The camera nodded. “Very well, let us continue.”

---

It was the night after the events of superheroism, and dimension travelling, and we find ourselves at the central viewpoint of the sparkly vampire, Rosie. It was a dark peaceful night, but sadly not stormy. She walked the empty streets, a slight breeze filling the air and blissfully pushing her hair back, slightly. She had her sad face on, for only she and she alone, could truly understand the feeling of loneliness, despite several characters knowing that, but she was a vampire hanging out with demons, so yeah. Her internal monologue would have struck with a vengeance, were I not here to narrate. She longed for the sense of duty in protecting or looking after someone, as Poison does; to feel needed and not feel like a sixth ranger. She couldn’t confide in them.

Suddenly, a cat, only one of them! It was laying in the middle of the street, clearly unconscious and adjacent from an alleyway. She gasped before running over to it. It was black as a black hole, and with many scratches all over its body. Taking this opportunity to own a pet, she decided to take it home, because despite the rumors of her kicking kittens, she was actually quite fond of ****.

A little later, back in her room within the Devil’s home, she had placed the black cat on her bed and was in the middle of getting ready for bed. The cat slowly opened its eyes during this, watching her intensively and admiring her voluptuous and glittery body, possibly an effect from being a sparkly vampire. The cat groaned as it got to its feet and scratched its forehead. “Where am I?” It asked, a feminine voice coming from the cat as it glanced around the room.

“You’re in Hell, but don’t worry, you’re not dead, I just found you badly hurt on a street and brought you here.” She answered, just having gotten into her purple pyjamas.

The cat quirked an eyebrow, confused about her calm and easygoing nature. “Wait, you aren’t shocked at all by a talking cat?”

“Trust me, I’ve seen a lot crazier things in my lifetime.” She replied, expressing a look of seriousness.

Being rather genre savvy, the cat decided to fill her in rather quick. “Since you’ll ask eventually, I’ll explain what happened. I live in a world where everyone are cats.”

“Uh-huh.” Rosie nodded, ready to embrace the craziness.

“On my planet, besides the peaceful tranquilities and everyday happenings, there is good and evil who gather to certain sides of the planet. The good cats, known as the Prowlers, and the evil cats, known as the Pussies. They were trying to make me a ****, but I ran to evade them. Around that time, a boy in white clothing arrived using some kind of dimensional portal. When he left, I too followed to escape their grasp.”

“Uh-huh.” Rosie nodded again, attempting to fully understand the ridiculousness of her story. “Are you going to keep using the word ‘****’ as long as you’re here?”

“I’ll try.” She shrugged. “By the way, my name is Mio. It would be kinda funny if you added a ‘w’, since cats actually meow.” She lightly chuckled.

“My name is Rosie, oh, and please don’t explain the joke.” Rosie winced as she shook her head. As she hopped into the bed, the cat also got in and snuggled tightly against her ample bosom, to such an extent it made Rosie curious about Mio’s sexual orientation. Rosie wasn’t sure of how to tell her demonic friends, she figured Poison wouldn’t care much, but Ivy might accidentally kill the cat, and Damien might blow it up for fun, so she decided she’d keep it a secret.  

The next morning, Rosie and her cat woke up earlier then the other demons in the house, took a quick shower with Mio which once again made Rosie question her feline friend’s feelings and dashed out the house towards Earth, because it’s a tourist attraction for abnormal beings now. The sun that morning had a golden crispy outlook, with a side of soothing blue lettuce. They spent half the day frolicking through the town, soaring through the skies, rolling down grassy hills, and other kid friendly things you see in those commercials, you know the ones.
 
Rosie eventually spotted Ivy, Poison and Amber, along with Ruby, Gary and Crystal, standing by a street corner. Ivy and Ruby were arguing as usual, Gary had recently showed up, Poison and Crystal were leaning on the wall, and Amber sat by a bus stop nearby. After childish arguing for a short while, Ivy suggesting that she, Poison and Amber should fight Ruby, Gary and Crystal. As Ruby accepted, not to show weakness in front of her rival, the others were just as thrilled about the idea and decided they should go through with it, since it would be like Brawl, but with 6 people, except it isn’t Brawl.

Rosie and Mio’s peaceful day was soon interrupted when light brown and orange striped cats with hi-tech black goggles found them as they rode around on black motorcycles. They caught sight of them almost immediately as Mio pointed them out, so they took off down various streets and alleyways, with them very slowly managing to close the gap. Rosie encountered someone on a motorcycle speeding in the opposite direction and knocked them off their bike before jumping on and speeding off. As the cats arrived, the owner pointed ahead and yelled, “Vampire stole my bike!”

The chase got more intense. It was a thrilling and heart racing event to the extent that describing it just might make your head explode, so I’ll refrain from doing so, but it involved wheelies in reserve. They eventually shot out her tires as she was drifting round a corner, resulting in her crashing into a wall. The cats grabbed Mio as they sped up, quickly vanishing as they drove on ahead.

When she came to, she discovered they left a note beside her, detailing where they would be. Why they would reveal this, she did not know, but she knew if Admiral Ackbar were there, he would immediately inform her that this is indeed, a trap. She ran back to where the others were to get backup, considering that her legion of vampires split up and went their separate ways ages ago.

A few blocks from their previous location, she noticed Poison and Gary being sent flying in different directions after hitting each other. In midair she then saw Crystal hit him with an uppercut, followed by Ruby connecting with a knee of justice immediately afterwards, knocking him through a building and landing nearby the vampire. She frantically ran towards him, waving her arms as she tried to explain. “Poison! You gotta help, I was with this cat and it got kidnapped by these pussies, and I need to save Mio before they turn her into a ****!”

Poison slowly got up, seeming a little dizzy. “I’d like to but I kinda have this going on and-”

“Don’t make me bite you, Poison.” She quickly replied, glaring at him.

He could see she was deadly serious, so he quickly changed his mind. “Alright, just let me tell Ivy, otherwise she’ll whine for ages then probably make some perverted joke.”

“Forget Ivy, we’ll be back shortly. Come on!” She dragged the green haired demon rather easily, seeing as he didn’t have much choice but to comply.

Rosie arrived at the scheduled meeting spot right on time while Poison took position on a rocky ledge far above. Rosie saw a large black and red ship up ahead and kicked open the back, seeing the Pussies ahead of her with Mio tied up in the corner. “Rosie, you’re here!” said Mio, overjoyed to see her.

“You got the catnip?” One of them asked.

“Nope, because you don’t deserve any. I’m taking back Mio so I’d suggest you all back off.” She took up a fighting stance.

The Pussies, knowing she was a vampire, decided to try and use normal weaknesses. One quickly charged at her, lodging an average stake into her abdomen. She looked down and easily pulled it out, then threw it outside as she advanced upon them with the intent to kill. Another cat pulled out a golden cross and held it up, shaking as he yelled, “Get back!”

Rosie stopped and grabbed the cross, admiring it as she said, “Hey, you mind if I keep this?” The others, seeing as this wasn’t working, threw holy water at her but she simply puffed out her chest as she placed her hands on her hips. “Ha! Your holy water is no match for my superior sparkles!” She said with a sense of pride. They moved further back, wondering how this was possible. Rosie sensed this, so she answered their question. “Typical vampire weaknesses don’t effect me much. I’ve long since overcome disadvantages like that, with some help from the big guy himself. By the way, the stake goes through the heart, morons.”

One cat suddenly took out a chalkboard and began clawing its sharp nails against the board. As they noticed it seemed to hurt her ears, the others joined in even though it was badly hurting their ears too. Mio tried to call out to her but the painful screeching sounds drowned out her attempts. Rosie soon remembered the reason she was doing this: To protect her friend, so she slowly got to her feet, forming a vibrant red aura as she did so. The cats were horrified by this revelation, for they knew ass kicking would ensue.

She began her assault, punching one cat through the wall as Mio watched in awe. Rosie lodged her absurdly sharp nails in one cat’s eyes, then chokeslamed another close by as Mio yelled, “Pound those Pussies!” She dodged a kick and stuck her claws right into the cat’s crotch, which Mio winced at. She picked up the second to last cat, raising him above her head and preparing to hit him with a piledriver. The devastating impact as they hit the ground shattered the cat’s skull, as Rosie bounced back in slow motion. She then spread her arms and produced a terrifying roar as you would expect of a dinosaur. She turned to the last cat, who promptly darted out of the room to alert the others within the front.

As the ship began to take off, Poison took aim, firing a small ball of wind which punctured the side of the ship, creating a large hole and damaging its internal engine. It was going down, and only then did Rosie notice another mysterious figure in the corner of that very room. He appeared to be a young boy with ruffled light brown hair. He had a six pack despite his childish look, and wore a crimson red sleeveless vest which left the middle of his chest open, dark red pants and black shoes. He had a hole within the pants where a light brown and fluffy tail stuck out, then she saw he also had the same unusual ears. “You want some too?” Rosie asked.

“No, I’ve seen enough. I wish to serve you.” The boy replied sincerely.  

Rosie, who had calmed down, blinked for a moment. “What?”

“The way you brutally handled those large cats with your berserker rage, even scaring off the last one without touching him, it was awesome! Needless to say, I’m in love with your ruthless side.”

“Uhh…” Rosie clearly didn’t know how to reply to that.

“Please!” He reached forward. “Keep me by your side and let me prove my strength, for it is what a true man must do!”

“Fine, whatever.” She said, untying Mio. The three of them abandoned the ship almost immediately, meeting Poison on the way down, and after a bit of talking, the boy told them his name was Leo, and he was a werewolf hybrid, but the real question is what chick would shack up with a werewolf. Maybe she just liked it rough.

Poison, Rosie and Leo made it back to where the others were, at which point Ivy and Ruby were arguing over something trivial again. As she spotted them, Ivy run up to them and began yelling. “Poison! Where the hell did you go?! We were in the middle of something here!”

“Sorry, he left to help me with something.” Rosie replied.

“What?! Did you two do perverted things?”

“No.” Poison said, completely deadpan.

“Sadly.” Rosie added as she rolled her eyes. “And this here is Leo, he’s part werewolf.” She continued.

“I am pleased to meet you all and I hope we can get on and try to push each other to greater limits.” He said with a bow.

The others eyed him suspiciously, then Poison spoke. “To be honest, we’re all a bunch of assholes in one way or another. Ruby’s probably the nicest one here, and even she’s succumbing to a few **** tendencies.” Leo simply nodded.

“That doesn’t excuse anything, Poison! I’m still really pissed at you for running off without saying anything!” Ivy continued her yelling.

Poison took out a box and handed it to her, which appeared to be a strawberry cake. Her expression changed from seething rage to a delightful smile as she accepted it while saying, “All is forgiven.”

Just then, a portal opened up nearby and a number of black cats emerged, startling the others. “Dad!” Mio exclaimed as she ran and hugged one cat who had a black beard and a staff with an eye patch.

“Mio, we finally found you!” He said.

“How did you get here?”

“We built a dimensional portal with the help of this other cat who was a mad scientist and kept blurting out random phrases. Anyway, lets go home now.”

“Just a moment, dad.” Mio ran up to Rosie. “Thanks for looking after me, even if it was only for a single day.”

“In a weird way, you helped me more than I helped you.”

“Now I’m gonna join my dad who’s the leader of the Prowlers and become one myself!”

“Wait, so you’re the daughter of the leader?”

“Well yeah.”

“Alternate realities are full of bizarre yet similar things, at least that’s what Gary has suggested.” She said to no-one in particular. “Anyway, take care, Mio. It was great meeting you.”

“Right back at ya, and don’t go being a ****, Rosie.” Mio said as she waved goodbye.

“Wouldn’t dream of it. And by the way, what‘s your sexual orientation?”

“Oh, I’m bisexual.”

“I knew it.” She said with a nod, figuring that explained everything, moments before the cats vanished. She felt rather melancholy afterwards, but perhaps it was for the best. Despite being different species, she still had friends, which she realized could transcend any barriers, and that’s all that mattered.

---

Willard lowered the book as he looked over to the camera. “Wasn’t that a wonderful tale? Considering the regular negative continuality established with stories like this, some of it might be true and some might not. I normally prefer my endings to be quite a downer, but I particularly fond of cats, so in this case I’d make an exception. Now, my honey roasted infants should be ready any minute now, if you could please see yourself out as I’ll be having guests shortly. Farewell, unsuspecting intruder.” He waved nonchalantly as he took a sip from his coffee mug. Upon leaving the room and journeying down the corridor, the camera was suddenly attacked, dropping sideways on the ground and being crushed by a dark figure a moment later.

[Marie Rose]

TMEDCE: Chapter 34 - Soulbusters

Somewhere in the pits of Hell, Ivy, Poison, Damien and Rosie were walking along beside a pool of lava. Rosie was talking about Leo. “This whole thing on being overwhelmingly manly is going a bit too far. I mean, just this morning he ate a plank of wood for breakfast and drank a cup of nails. It was ridiculous!”

“Just let him be insane if he wants.” Poison replied. “Besides, its quite fun to watch anyway.”

“He tends to start fights quite a bit as well.” Rosie added.

“Then why don’t I just build one of those ridiculously human robots?” Ivy suggested. “It would really help if that’s the case.”

“I think Leo is what this planet really needs.” Damien said. “Too many weaklings and egotistical bastards around here who need sense beaten into them. Rosie is rather violent to do it without casualties.” He glanced at her as he finished.

“Well I’m sorry for going too far on occasions…by the way, Ivy, where’s that tentacled pet you said you had?”

“Oh, he’s off doing his own thing nowadays. He has his own show now with Adol.” Ivy said as she began to remember the premier.

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Floyd entered an office building with a folder in hand. He quietly walked over to Spring’s desk and dropped it on the table, saying, “We’ve got another one.” as he did  so. Spring looked up, as if to say, “Should we call in the specialists?” Floyd nodded without anything needing to be said. Spring got up from his desk and dialled a number.

Adol and Nookie were playing blackjack in a quiet spacious room when the phone rang, Adol picked it up and listened. “Another one, eh? Understood.” He nodded and put the phone down before turning to his partner. “Nookie, guess what time it is?”

“Blaaaaaah!” Was all the monster said as it waved its tentacles in the air.

“You bet you ass it is.” Adol said, as he Nicholson’d.

These pimps are taking the law into their own hands. Ya’ll haters can go hate, cause its time for some raep.

Adol kicked down a door where the parents and their young son were currently living. As they stood in the doorway, below them had the words, “The Raepomen.” The narrator continued as it showed clips of Adol taking out a fire hose, Nookie breaking into a van packed with high school girls, and one man being slapped upside the head with a dildo. “Starring Adol the Red as himself, Nookie as XX Smooth X, and guest starring Amber Salsar as that girl who drives the van.” It said as Amber waved from the van. 

It showed another scene of Adol walking into a store with SA2 at the register. “Hey man, you got work again?” SA2 asked as he walked in.

“Yeah, gotta hit ‘em where it hurts.” He replied.

“The usual, right?”

“But of course.” SA2 handed him a pack of condoms and he paid for them before leaving and hopping back in the van. Adol and Nookie suited up as they got to their destination as the narrator struck again. “If you’re gonna do the crime, you’d better check the time. The Raepomen, tonight at 10.”

---

Ivy wiped a tear from her eye. “I’m so proud of him.” The others were rather surprised.

“Hey Damien, you got a letter!” Amber called as she ran up to the others and handed it to him.

He read the note and then crushed it. “Someone wants to meet with me. Well I’d better go, see you guys later.” He waved before taking off while Amber yelled to take protection.

An hour or so later he stood on a rooftop on earth, it was around midnight. Lolita stepped out from behind a fan on the roof shortly after he arrived. “Hello again, Damien.” He immediately was on guard as she did so. “There’s no need to start anything, I just need your help.”

“Yeah right, you’ve been after me for a while now. What could you possibly need my help for?”

“Souls have escaped the underworld and you have to help me capture them.”

“I don’t do that crap, besides, what’s in it for me?”

“I’ll extend your life for a while.”

“Or perhaps I could just kill you and extend it permanently.” He said, grinning as parts of the metallic roof began to slowly move. Damien summoned a large ball of red energy within an instant and threw it at her, it splitting into a dozen small beams. Lolita summoned black puddles around her which launched black beams to counter his attack, then leaped left to avoid his. Damien ran, dodging several beams and deflecting one at a billboard. Damien summoned parts of the roof to raise up and try to crush her, but she drew a katana and sliced through several bits while evading more. Damien smiled as he said, “You may be pretty fast, but on the ground, I have the advantage.” He raised his hand and suddenly four pillars of metal rose up around Lolita and within a split second crushed her, as blood slowly poured out of the small cracks.

“Guess she wasn’t as fast as I thought.” Damien said with a sigh, clearly disappointed.

“Or maybe you’re just too slow.” said as voice coming from his far right. She tore off part of the billboard and charged at him. She swung at him, but he quickly jumped and tried to kick her as she leaped far back and threw the weapon at him. He smashed through it and sidestepped the two beams Lolita fired, then leaped into the air and covered his right arm in metal as he prepared to strike. She tried to stop the punch from connecting with a shield then quickly leaped left as he almost broke through. Damien flash stepped behind her and punched her across the roof. She flipped and began firing more beams as she landed, soon rushing in to attack with an axe while he defended with a created sword. One beam came back and rapped around Damien, attempting to crush his bones from its grip.

Lolita appeared behind him and punched him into the fan further away. As they continued, a blue humanoid pig wearing a black robed outfit and a cape appeared, figuring it was a good chance to take them out. He aimed at them with a gun, but was hit with a stone spear which lodged itself in his brain, a result of Lolita deflecting it. Damien noticed the body and stopped. “So who’s that?”

“That’s what I was saying, let me show you.” She took out a blue chart with 9 squares on it in a 3x3 pattern. The eight outer squares had soul icons and in the middle was her deadpan, emotionless face. “Some souls have escaped and I have to track them down before Death notices. With your elemental powers it’ll be easier for me.”

“I feel like I’ve seen this design somewhere…” He said, closely examining the chart. “And once again, I have no incentive to help you. You’re trying to bring me back too, so why should I help you?”

“You’ll be doing a good thing.”

“My agreement is reaching zero.”

“I’ll let you touch me.”

“Well I don’t wanna touch you.”

“Well I’ll have you know I’m at least a B cup underneath these clothes.”

“I never asked.”

“I just thought you should know.”

“Even though I never asked.” He finished her sentence.

After a while Lolita eventually left, seeing as Damien wouldn’t agree to help her. Due to her soul sense, the next morning she managed to track an undead samurai, a boxing shark and a wrestling lion to an antique shop. “Oh hai, pretty girl.” said the black haired owner as she walked in. “Good day, huh?” She nodded as she walked by, towards the back of the store when the souls quickly noticed her coming. She slid under the shark’s punch, leaped by the Samurai and blocked the lion’s bicycle kick before grabbing him and smacking the samurai across the place then threw him at the shark. He evaded the lion and prepared to strike with a machete, but Lolita kicked it out of his hands and threw him at several vases, smashing them.

She jumped on the samurai’s blade and hit him with a psycho crusher, impaling him with her hand and grabbing his soul as they hit the wall. She flipped over the shark as he swung at her, then sliced its head off with her arm covered in black energy as it spun round. The lion quickly attacked from the right with a chainsaw, but she stopped the weapon with her bare hand. Shocked as the weapon slowed down while she kept her expression even though her hand was bleeding, she placed her other hand near his stomach and fired a beam through him. As she was walking away, the owner said, “Why you do this to me, pretty girl? You’re TEARING me APART, customer!” She quickly stopped and summoned a large bag of money, leaving it on the counter as she left.

Damien was standing with Ivy and Poison on a street corner near an arcade, explaining what happened. “So she wants me to help her catch souls before Death fires her ass.”

“You should probably help her out this once.” Ivy suggested.

“You haven’t been as moody lately.” Damien said, suddenly noticing.

“Yeah, I noticed too.” Poison agreed.

“I’m not always moody.” She pouted. “How many Shinigami are there anyway?”

“Probably around a dozen.” Damien said. “They call her “The Weapon Factory.” down there.”

“Why?” Poison asked.

“Because she’ll practically use almost anything as a weapon.”

“Makes sense.” He shrugged.

Just then, two souls showed up, one being a fox and the other a large slug. The fox called out to him, “Hey you, you’re that demon prince, right?” He continued, not giving him time to answer. “There’s this annoying chick catching escaped souls. She’s probably after you too, right? How about we work together to take her down?”

“Thanks but no thanks. I work alone, or with people I feel I can get along with, and I’m not sensing that, so-” He squashed the slug with four stone pillars then dashed ahead, jamming his hand through the fox’s chest. “Goodbye. Nothing personal, of course.”

“Did it ever get boring having to spend 20 years in that underworld place?” Poison asked.

“Not really, since everyone there can’t die they tend to get along with other Shinigami and each other. Besides, time really speeds up down there so its only been around 4 years for me.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty fast. Same as in 20 years on our planet would only be 10 on Earth.”

Suddenly, Lolita came running down the street and stopped beside the three, looking around as she said, “Where are the two souls here?”

“I already killed them, so don’t worry.”

“Oh, thank you.” She then noticed the other two. “Oh, its you again. Would you still like to be my pet?”

“What’s your deal with pets?” Poison asked.

“I like pets.” she immediately replied.

“You’re dodging the question.”

“Go away, you foolish Shinigami!” Ivy exclaimed. “If he’s gonna be anyone’s pet, he’d be mine!” She quickly turned and said, “Not that I’d make you do that.”

“I sense you’re not very close with the random yelling and the clinginess.” Lolita replied.

“We’re very close, in fact we sleep in the same bed…sometimes.”

“Only when she has nightmares and doesn’t wanna sleep alone.” Poison added.

“That’s rather cute.” Lolita said.

“S-shut up, its not cute at all!” Ivy yelled.

“So its pathetic then?”

Ivy thought for a moment. “…Lets go with cute then, but evilly cute.”

“Of course.” They all said in unison, humouring her.

As Damien agreed to finally help Lolita and they walked off, Ivy randomly said, “I feel like I’ve been ignored for several weeks, for some reason…”

After a short while of walking and reminiscing about the past, Lolita stopped, wide-eyed as she said, “I have this tingling feeling down below.”

“Uh-huh.” Damien said, choosing not to comment on it.

“My soul sense is tingling.” She clutched her fist and held it against her chest as she said it.

“Is that what you’re calling it nowadays?” They quickly took off down alleyways and through parking garages until they got near a motorway, where a car just passed them as it was speeding down the road. Damien ripped the door off a red car and Lolita started the engine. And they were off! Flying right into the danger zone. The black car containing the two mummified souls swerved left and right down the highway, nearly causing crashes with the amount of sudden turns. Damien leaned out the window, equipped with a rocket launcher and fired at them. He missed by a few inches, but the resulting explosion managed to make several cars explode, and make a lot others crash.

“You missed.” Lolita said.

“I guess I did.” Damien replied, with a devilish grin after being satisfied with the level of destruction. Lolita told Damien to take the wheel, at which point she cut off her right arm and stuck a chainsaw to it with duck tape. She cut off her left arm to stick a minigun to it, but realized she couldn’t do so and stared at Damien for a few moments until he sighed and tried to stick it on. She leaped through the traffic, hopping across cars and firing at the black car while they fired back. As she reached them, she cut through the roof with the chainsaw and immediately opened fire with the minigun, killing them. Damien quickly took the opportunity to blast the car with his rocket launcher, blowing them all up as he drove by.

He stopped by a field at the next exit and began to light a cigarette. As he did so, Lolita walked up to him and stood two feet away, unscathed. As he turned to her she said, “You just tried to kill me, didn’t you?”

“Huh, I never noticed that. An alternate interpretation really could suggest I was trying there. Funny, huh?”

“…So were you trying to kill me?”

Damien sighed as he walked off, saying, “Sarcasm, Lolita, learn it.”

“Well now that I have the souls I’ll be taking them back home.”

“I wouldn’t be quite so sure about that.” a dark charismatic voice said from nearby. A puff of smoke appeared ahead and Willard stepped out from it, holding a jar with black spirits flying around. “Sadly, I have alternative purposes for these souls I happened to find, so I’d be rather thankful if you spared the few you’re also collected.”

“Willard…” Lolita said squinting, then stopped a moment later. “Wait, I don’t even know who you are…”

“So Willard, what’re you up to this time?” Damien asked.

“Come now, Damien, are you not also a complete monster? You choose to ignorantly judge me despite your wanton for needless destruction?”

“Yeah but I try to be a good friend and a good older brother.”

“We must settle in in a typical RPG style.” Lolita suggested. “I’ll be in the front row.”

“Lolita, now’s not the ti-”

She put her finger to his mouth. “An RPG battle is the only way, Damien.”

He moved her hand and motioned for Willard to follow him away from Lolita. They discussed various things, occasionally using hand signals to explain their point. After a while of talking, Willard bale’d, and Damien Kermit’d, at which point Willard handed him the jar and went about his business. Damien walked back over to Lolita and handed her the jar, saying, “Here, he won’t be bothering with souls for a while.”

“Thank you, Damien. Even though we could have duked it our RPG style, you decided to settle it like gentlemen just to help me.”

“Don’t misunderstand, I didn’t do it all just for your sake.”

“You didn’t add the stutter.” Lolita pointed out.

“What?”

“Tsun~ is more effective when you add the stutter. Everyone knows that.”

Damien glared at her, beginning to lose his patience. “I’m going to hurt you in a minute.”

“Alright, we both know that’s just how you show your love.”

“You’re trying to **** me off, aren’t you?”

“Why? You mad?” She asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“I ain’t made, just annoyed. Anyway, I’m done helping out so see ya.” He said as he turned away from her and began walking.

“Oh, okay.” She began waving and turned around to leave. 

“Hey wait,” Lolita stopped in her tracks as she heard his voice. “Since I’ve still got time, you wanna go to the arcade?”

“Sure, why not.” She said, walking over to him. And so, they walked together, talking about old times and ignoring the pileup far in the distance on the highway.

[Aku]

This may be the greatest thing I've ever read so far. My god, the glorious jumbled aspects are mind-boggingly enjoyable. My head might have exploded from the sheer awesomeness, but thankfully my overwhelming manlyness has kept it intact...*cough*

[Marie Rose]

Why thank you, person I don't happen to know.

[Esh]

*stares at mysterious user*

Hmmmm....

He's not wrong but.... Something doesn't add up....

[Marie Rose]

don't haet

[Esh]

am not haetr.... am not gon haet...

[Marie Rose]

i tink u mad

[Marie Rose]

You can tell I had some fun with this one.
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TMEDCE: Chapter 35 - Night of the Savvy Tropers

Sometime following the previous events, it was currently late at night as the title would suggest. Ruby was running up a large mountain, fully dressed in her Justice attire as she had previously received a letter asking for help from that location. Upon reaching the top the place was modelled like an arena, and far ahead by the ledge was Ivy, dressed in a white version of Ruby’s outfit. Ivy removed the mask and smiled as she arrived. “I’m glad we could finally meet, ‘Justice.’, you could consider me your designated arch nemesis, Chaos.”

Ruby was somewhat surprised by this. “Wait, I thought you were gonna stop doing things like this?”

“Yeah but Status Quo is God after all, so I gotta be a little evil sometimes. I’m gonna crush your magical girl delusions, even though you’re too stupid to know the difference between that and a superhero, but maybe that’s the point. Anyway, lets begin.” Ivy leaped ahead and threw a downward punch, which Ruby dodged as she got near. Ruby attacked with a kick which Ivy blocked. They moved around the rocky area for a short while, eventually braking off pieces of the mountain to smack each other with. A beeper went off in Ivy’s pocket and she smiled as she leaped back. “Seems our guest is here.” Omar was approaching the mountain in his giant robot as she continued. “Prepare to face the Super Ultra Mega Rock ‘em Sock ‘em robot V.2!” She leaped out the way as it landed nearby.

“That was a perfect introduction, Ivy.” Omar said as he started firing at Ruby.

“Oh please, you’re too kind.” Ivy said, flattered as she watched from the sidelines. Ruby ran around the area, hiding behind rocks and evading the missiles and blasts being fired, but when she tried to attack she was hit by Ivy from behind. When Ruby retaliated she was then hit by a laser beam from the robot. After a while of being knocked back and forth, she waited until the robot opened its mouth to fire a mouth blast, then she quickly launched herself up using Ivy’s head as a pedestal and shoved several holy hand grenades in its mouth then quickly leaped off. Omar immediately ejected as the robot charged up to fire, the machine producing a massive explosion as it did, knocking Ruby into Ivy as they tumbled down the mountain.

Meanwhile, a blond haired kid wearing blue jeans and a plain blue shirt was looking outside his bedroom window, wondering why the hell there were hundreds of people storming down the streets, seeming to be suffering a severe case of insomnia. He sat back at his computer and visited TV Tropes, as usual. Upon checking his email he received a link to a certain TV Tropes page, and like a moron he followed it. Soon enough, he left his house, becoming a part of the other tropers, no-one knew what was on that page or who created it. While that happened, Crystal was taking a shower at Amber’s resort, the steamy water conveniently covering certain spots as she used a bar of soap. Suddenly, tropers! Half a dozen of them! They broke in through the door, eerily calling out, “Shooower sceene!” as they approached her. Crystal grabbed her tower and punched them as she ran.

In the lobby Amber was fighting off more wearing a black biker‘s outfit, and upon spotting Crystal threw her a white shirt and beige pants, then they ran as the tropers following, shouting, “Zombie Apocalypse!” As they ran through the troper infested streets, glancing around at the burning and broken down cars, the helpless civilians being ganged up against them, and generally everything going to hell as they attempted to find the others. Fortunately Rosie happened to be in the area and spotted them from the various explosions caused as they fended off the tropers. She dropped down from a rooftop and then backed up as they prepared to attack, stopping when they realised it was her.

After discussing that they all knew nothing about this, Rosie joined them, at which point a hobo nearby moaned, “Sixth ranger…” Rosie promptly tore his head off.

In another area, Poison and Damien were exiting the arcade, arguing over something involving a fighting game. They stopped for a moment and noticed there were dozens of tropers surrounding the place. After a moment of silence, Damien turned to Poison and said, “Twenty bucks says I kill more guys than you do.”

“You’re on.” Poison replied, drawing his blade.

Ivy and Ruby had previously encountered some insomniac tropers and started to avoid them. Ruby suggested they visit someone who was said to be an expert on tropes to help them, and that person was said to reside in a specific alleyway in the event of a zombie invasion. As they reached that specific spot, they discovered their target was Lily Locket, who smirked as she lay on the wall. “Well, I suspect you came because you needed my help.” before Ivy could speak, she continued. “I live and breathe tropes, so I know all there is to know and I’m a master strategist in this instance. You should feel honoured to be in my presence, to meet face to face with yours truly and beg for my omniscient guidance.”

“This was a waste of time.” Ruby said as she began to leave.

“Yeah, lets go.” Ivy added.

“No, wait! Please let me join you!” Lily yelled as she chased them, Ivy and Ruby running as they noticed. Ivy soon leapt through a window as Ruby passed her and evaded the both of them, climbing out shortly afterwards and walking off on her own.

In a random location, the Loli Rangers were travelling round on motorbikes representing their chosen colours, blasting tropers with their .45’s as Loli Red told them to aim for the forehead since living organisms can’t function without it. “The more you know.” Loli Yellow wrote on a sign. During their mission, several tropers were being taken out from afar by a sniper. Loli Black looked in the direction of the shot to see Lolita on a roof. “Who’re you?!” Loli Red yelled.

There was silence, then Loli Green stepped ahead. “I can speak with her.” The two stared at each other in silence. What felt like seconds to them felt like a minute to the others, because it was a minute of silence. Loli Green whispered something to the others, which they fully understood.

Poison and Damien passed by a street with some police firing away at the tropers, until some of them also pulled out guns and fired back, taking them out by surprise. Poison noticed this as he and Damien swung at the tropers with their swords, Damien creating a two-handed broad sword from stone. “Those zombies are getting smarter.”

“I thought they were tropers.” Damien replied.

“Whatever.” They continued their rampage occasionally using their elemental abilities till up ahead there were over a hundred more coming. As Damien was about to attack, a ray of lightning came down from the sky and hit them, sending most of them flying. Gary landed beside them with his sword drawn, and the three of them posed. Gary then explained himself. “Hey Poison, I was informed of the situation by Crystal. I’m here to help out.”

“That’ll make things much easier.” Poison transferred wind energy to his blade then passed it to Gary. “Charge that with electricity and fire it.”

“Well okay.” He shrugged, partially confused. As he swung, a large electric tornado was fired at light speed, smashing into the tropers and causing large quantities of damage. “So mixing strengths of wind and electricity allows you to rapidly fire electric tornados at light speed?…That’s pretty broken.”

“I know, right?”

Gary fired another one. “We’re gonna abuse the hell out of this, right?”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLJLyneZGKc&feature=related

“Of course.” Gary handed Poison his sword, who then transferred wind energy to it. As the tropers drew near, Poison and Gary had their backs to each other. Damien decided to sit at a bench, took out a boom box and put on Guile’s theme as they rapidly fired electric tornados at the tropers along with the beat, changing direction every time while one moaned, “Spam Attack…”

Ivy ran through the streets, punching out tropers who said things such as, “Bratty Half Pint.”, “Pettanko.” and “Villain Protagonist.” As one said, “Dark Magical Girl…” She sliced his head off. She kept running in fear and was soon trapped down an alleyway as the tropers slowly crept up on her. “Ivy, what happened to your inner strength?” She heard a voice call out. She looked up and spotted SA2 standing on a roof. “Sensei!”

“Is this the extent of your confidence?” He asked.

“Of course not, sensei!” She protested, getting to her feet.

“Then show them your elite ninja skills.”

“Right!” Ivy’s speed suddenly increased, managing to blaze circles around the group, swiftly taking them out with sneak attacks then decapitated the last one. She looked up towards the rooftop but unfortunately SA2 was gone. She held her fist up to her face, clenching it as she quietly said, “Sensei…” 
 
Back with Crystal, Amber and Rosie, they had shortly passed a street where Spring and Floyd were driving through tons of tropers, then preformed multi-track drifting as Floyd fired a bazooka down the street. Rosie spotted Lolita on a roof, still firing at tropers, and leaped onto it. “Hey, you seem rather unusual, wanna join us?”

“Okay.” She packed up her suitcase of weapons and followed them.

After a while of taking out hordes of tropers, they approached a steel gate, setup in the middle of a forest path. Damien was going to blow it up, when suddenly far in the distance a mysterious figure was charging towards the area, smashing tropers out the way as one yelled, “Foe tossing charge!” It turned out to be Leo, who leaped up over the three of them and punched the door out the way. He turned to the others and said, “Lets go, men!” The three of them shrugged and followed.

“So Leo, do you have a weapon?” Gary asked.

“Weapons are useless! My personal weapons are my fists! You gotta punch ‘em, show ‘em you’re a man!” Leo yelled.

“Well okay.”

Poison was suddenly called by Cherry who happened to have his number and told him she was trapped in a burning apartment building. After telling the others, he rushed off, saying that his willpower to rescue her will give him the strength to make it in time, which Leo shed manly tears upon hearing.

Fortunately Ruby had spotted the building first, swinging into a window on the third floor to help those still alive. As she touched the ground she said, “Lets get serious!” Parts of the building started crumbling as she took out tropers who said things such as, “Cute Bruiser.”, “Good Is Dumb,” and “Iron Woobie.”. She avoided the crumbling on the floors and ran up the stairs to other floors, occasionally finding people trapped within their apartments and flying them outside before continuing. She encountered Cherry on the top floor and leaped out the window, sliding down it and speeding off as they touched the ground. They quickly ran by Poison who stopped and noticed them. Ruby mentioned having to stay at hospital during one day because of lead poisoning from bullet wounds inflicted. After discussing what they knew Poison informed her that they’ll be taking ships to somewhere else in the meantime.

The girls were still fighting off tropers as Amber said, “These Mooks are pissing me off.” Crystal eyed her suspiciously but continued attacking. Rosie teared some apart then heard a troper say, “Panty Shot…” Another slapped him upside the head and corrected him. “No, Vapor Wear…” He looked again. “Oh, sorry, my bad.” Rosie wondered what they were talking about, just before looking towards Lolita who was bending over as she looked through her case of weapons. She pulled out a laser cannon and began firing. As they cleared the area they proceeded to move on but then heard Lily yell, “Not so fast!” She dropped down ahead with a machete. “You’ll have to beat me to continue!”

“Can we really do that, it seems like a Hopeless Boss Fight!” Amber exclaimed.

“Yeah, who knows how strong she is!” Crystal added.

“That One Boss.” Lolita randomly said.

“I’ll give it my all. Breaking Dawn attack!” Rosie yelled, attacking head-on. Crystal wondered why the attack was called Breaking Dawn. With a swing she knocked the machete out of her hands. As Lily smirked and attempted to say something, Rosie continued, with a kick to the crotch, an elbow to the throat, a punch to the back of her knee, and then ripping her arm off. Crystal then finally understood why. Lily screamed as she suffered unbearable pain, while the others stared at her. “Sorry, I get a little carried away sometimes…”

Lily then suddenly said, “Hey guys, could you give me a hand here?” Everyone except Lolita laughed, and once they finally stopped, Lily continued, “No seriously, I kinda need that or else I’ll eventually die from blood loss.”

Back with Damien, Gary and Leo, they charged through the heaps of tropers, slashing and smacking them away as the rushed for a mall ahead. As Damien noticed Leo had disappeared, the wolf boy suddenly dropped a steamroller on a dozen tropers, spreading his arms as he yelled, “Wryyyyyyyyyy!” Leo decided to stay behind to buy them time, and Damien handed him a small bomb which would be as effective as a nuke, which he just happened to have. He stood his ground as they cornered him. One even asked, “Why do you not run, you are but a young wolf.”

“I may be a wolf, but I’m also something else.”

“And what would that be?”

“I AM A MAN!” He immediately punched the troper with the force of a thousand suns, making his head explode and detonating the nuke. “Heroic Sacifi-” Before a troper could finish, the place was engulfed by the explosion, reducing it to rubble.

Ivy, Poison, Ruby, Damien, Amber, Crystal, Gary, Lolita, Rosie, Lily and Cherry made it to a mall, some happy to see each other and others not so happy. Poison suggested the idea of flying off in ships, but Lolita informed him she saw some ships being captured by the tropers earlier today. Ruby suggested they visit Omar’s lab as he’s bound to have some ships, so it was settled and they stormed out in the dead of night, needing a vehicle to get there faster. Rosie and Lolita stayed to give them a chance to find a van and start the engine, which they eventually did but the overwhelming hordes of tropers had already got to them. Lily ran to get in the van but missed as they drove off. The tropers surrounded her, but chose to go about their business instead.

They sped off down the streets, swerving wildly as the tropers chased them. Ruby eventually flew out the back at one sudden turn, the tropers managing to grab her and devouring her by sheer numbers as she screamed for help. Crystal jumped out of the van against the others wishes, knowing it was too late but attacking none the less. Gary sighed and said farewell to the others, choosing to accompany her. They soon made it to Omar’s tower, when Amber began coughing up blood from the mouth. Lolita happened to already be there when they arrived.

“So how did you get here? Didn’t you die just earlier?” Ivy asked. 

“I’m just that awesome.” She replied.

“No she’s not, she’s just already dead.” Damien said.

Unbeknownst to the others, Amber had been bitten much earlier by one of the tropers, and it was now taking effect. “Zombie Infectee…” She said, walking over to Cherry and biting her neck. Her screaming alerted the others, and Damien and Poison attacked. Amber quickly moved behind Lolita, who had enough time to dodge but stood still as Amber chopped her head off. As Amber leaped at Poison, he stabbed her in the forehead, killing her. Cherry was freaking out, thinking she’d become one of those tropers, so Damien shot her in the head. Damien looked at Poison, who was obviously pissed, but he knew there was no other way and it was for the best.

The three of them carried on to the floor where the dimensional gate was found, and upon entering were attacked by more hordes of tropers, one shooting Damien immediately and took their time slowly devouring Ivy and Poison and tearing at their flesh. Suddenly a Game Over screen appeared, and it was revealed Ivy was playing a game. “This game sucks!” Ivy yelled, throwing the pad. It was then revealed she was reading a story. “This fanfiction story sucks!” She threw the monitor out the window. It was then revealed she was reading a comic. She held it up, yelling, “This comic sucks!” before throwing it to the ground. A gigantic world eater entity who looked like Ivy was watching the earth and yelled, “This planet sucks!” She quickly swallowed the planet in a single gulp and walked off to find more planets. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSXnYdgutpk&feature=related

[Marie Rose]

TMEDCE: Chapter 36 - Cosmic Destination

It was a nice day, the sun was shining, people were going shopping, getting their nails did, etc. Ivy, Poison, Ruby, Gary, Damien and Crystal were at a zoo for some weird reason. To avoid wasting much time, a ray designed by Omar fills the animals with rage, making them break out of their environments and attack people. Ivy is smothered to death while caught off guard by a large pack of apes, a steel bar keeping a gorilla locked up flies off as it breaks out and flies through Poison’s forehead. Damien simply crushes the hordes of bees which came after him, but was somehow crushed by an elephant. Gary is killed in a stampede while helping some others, Crystal is brutally attacked by other gorillas, and Ruby decided to run as these things happened, only to get hit by a bus with the number 415 on it.

She comes to, realizing it was all a vision in her head, and did what any person who had gotten one would do, warn her companions and anyone who happened to listen and force them to leave, shortly before Omar activated that siren and they saw large amounts of destruction in the distance, the others staring at Ruby oddly while she couldn’t believe it herself. A few days later, she received an invitation from Ivy of all people to come with them to Chessington, they would’ve gone Disneyworld but they’re still banned from there.

Ruby, Gary, Crystal, Amber, Leo, Adol and the Loli Rangers stood by the entrance waiting for the rest. To their surprise, Ivy, Poison, Damien and Rosie arrived, Damien and Rosie standing to either side, Poison giving Ivy a piggyback ride, and above all, Ivy was happy, and had her eyes shut the whole time. “Hey guys.” Poison said as they got there.

Poison put Ivy down and she waved to the others as she said, “Good morning, everyone.” Once again, the others were shocked by her sudden change. “Ahh, Ruby, my best friend but also my biggest rival, how are you?” She said, giving Ruby a hug.

“Wait, you remembered my name? And you called me a friend? And why are you so happy? What’s going on here?!?”

“Its her birthday.” Poison replied. “And she’s always in a happy mood on her birthday. Almost nothing can bring her down, regardless of how much you insult her.”

“Yup.” Ivy nodded.

“Almost nothing?” Rosie asked, leaning close to Poison.

“Well after noticing this, I did my best to try and **** her off. It took a long time, but I eventually found the trigger.”

“What did you say?”

“I’d rather not risk it again. I can still feel the teeth marks beneath my hair sometimes…”

“That makes me more curious to know how a perpetually happy Ivy could get pissed off…”

“Be thankful today.” Ivy said to Ruby. “As it’ll be the only day I won’t attempt to kill you.”

“Umm, thanks.” Ruby said awkwardly. “So I think we should go on a rollercoaster first.”

“You silly angel, we should try this bubble ride I know about.” Ivy said cheerfully.

“Rollercoaster.”

“Bubble ride.” This continued for a few moments, and then Ivy turned to Poison. “Poison, which do you want, my choice or Ruby’s?”

He could see a cross popping vein as Ivy stared, telling she was clearly irritated. He knew it’d be in his best interest to agree with Ivy, but didn’t want to upset Ruby by doing so, so he made a better choice. “Wait here one second.” Hastening his feet with wind energy, he sped off into the distance.

After a short period of silence, Adol was the first to speak. “I don’t think he’s coming back…”

A little later, after some of them had split up to go to different places, they met shortly after by some tables outside some shops. Gary sat at a table with Poison, Damien, Adol, Amber and Rosie, talking about a mission he had done a while ago. “So I had to take down this guy on another planet, but he was pretty sneaky. He managed to get me in this elaborate death trap where there was pretty much no normal escape and was somewhat littered with random objects. Luckily those nights watching MacGyver finally paid off.”

Ruby walked over to another table nearby where Lolita was sitting. “Umm, can I talk to you for a minute?” She asked, standing in front of her.

“Of course, take a seat, naïve angel.”

She did so. “I had this psychic vision a few days ago about ridiculous deaths of some people I know and was hoping it was just a coincidence and wouldn’t come back to haunt me.”

“You’re wondering if my boss is planning anything?”

“Well yeah, if so I’ve gotta stop it at all costs!”

“Then I suggest you go commando, like I do.”

“I thought you just had vapor wear.”

“My longcoat might be somewhat short but its not see-through.”

“Ooh, sorry, must have mixed those two up.”

“I don’t see how anyone could mix up those two.”

“I still think going commando is pointless though.”

Loli Green, who was sitting further away, spun round and said, “I think Lolita makes a good point.”

Lolita  pointed at her as she said, “Kuudere-chan knows what’s up.” Ruby simply sighed as she walked off.

Rosie was randomly talking about old times at the other table. “Y’know how annoying it is to explain to vampire hunters nowadays that you’re not that evil anymore? I’ve kinda mellowed out since meeting you guys, so instead of killing them I try to talk things out now. Some just don’t listen, so I impale them instead.”

“Gotta stab the fleshy interior.” Amber commented.

“Gotta hammer in that nail.” Rosie said back.

“Gotta fill out that taco with some meat.”

“Gotta fill the cup with some warm milk.”

“Gotta carefully stick the pencil in the sharpener.”

“Gotta attack the weak point for massive damage.” After an awkward period of silence where the only noise heard was Poison drinking, she then asked, “What were we talking about again?”

Crystal was walking by, wearing a suit, donning a pair of shades and had her pimp cane out. As she walked down the street, Loli Black nodded towards her and said, “Haters gonna hate.”

“Tru dat.” Crystal replied, nodding back.

Ruby was walking around, having lost sight of Ivy and trying to see what she was up to. A children’s funhouse in the distance got her curiosity, though she wondered why Ivy would be there of all places, but she did appear to be there, as the place was slowly being filled up with large sticky marshmallows, and was slowly approaching the top. Ruby thought about whether to rescue someone who’s tried to kill her at least  a dozen times and regularly starts conflict whenever she’s around, but seeing how she’d feel guilty later, she decided to help…by punching through a wall and slowly dragging out the marshmallows until Ivy could free herself. Surprisingly, Ivy actually thanked her afterwards. So they then went to a go-kart ride.

“Isn’t that sweet?” Poison said as he watched them.

“I guess.” Damien shrugged.

“Its great to have two girls you have strong feelings for get along.” Lily said as she suddenly appeared and sat down.

“Ahh, good morning, Lily.” Poison said cheerfully.

“Today is just plain weird.” Rosie began. “Ivy is overly happy and Poison isn’t snarking at anyone. This is going to ruin our angle! What’s next, Amber starts acting like a scientist?”

“Hey!” She yelled back.

“It’d just be really weird too. I wonder if Poison would react to any of my advances in this state…”

“Can’t I just say you have a nice ass and leave it at that?” He asked.

“I do?”

“Yeah, if you want you can shake that ass-” He then backed up as he said, “But watch yourself!”

“Wha?”

“So you no longer have problems hitting on members in your harem?” Lily asked.

Poison closed his eyes and shrugged, a smug smile appearing on his face. “Lets face it, I’m just that good. Other girls satisfaction comes before I own, and I’m good at fulfilling that.” Poison took out a magnet and placed it on his crotch. “Get it?”

Most of them were rather shocked to hear that, while Lily exclaimed, “Oh no, Poison is turning into a eroge protagonist!”

“You cannot call yourself a man till you can satisfy the needs of others.” Leo said as he suddenly appeared.

“Oh, hey Leo.” Rosie waved.

“Good for you, Poison.” Adol nodded. “I think I’m already there, working in a all girls high school is wonderful. I tend to like girls who have just about fully developed, but are still rather young. They tend to be surprisingly tight while also having very appealing features, it’s a feeling you can’t possibly comprehend without trying it. My students love me, but I can’t reciprocate that love until they’ve finished developing, and then its fair game.”

“I honestly don’t know what to say to that.” Poison replied cheerfully.

“Didn’t you once say Amber molesting a boy she was babysitting with a dildo was immoral and wrong?” Gary asked Poison, who nodded. “But because of how hilariously she described the event, you said she should video tape it next time?” He nodded again. “You guys are cruel.”

“Oh, by the way, I actually did tape it, here it is.” Amber said pulling the tape from her bra and handing it to Poison.

“Also, I just wanna say my fanfics are normally for things I’d never actually say to people I know.” Poison pointed out.

“Like how Amber should wear more clothing?” Damien asked.

“Yeah.”

“I also noticed how fast you killed off Ivy and had tons of women to play Brawl with.”

“It sounds awkward when you give it more thought than I did…”

“Yeah, plus Brawl’s boring now.”

Poison shrugged. “I guess.”

Ivy and Ruby just then passed by, having crashed through the barrier of the track and driving along the streets, bashing into each other and trying to send the other spiraling out of control. They eventually drove by Nookie, who happened to be handing out balloon to kids. Ivy eventually managed to knock her into a house of mirrors, where she broke half of them and had to pay a large fine, though Ivy insisted it wasn‘t her intention. Later on the group all met up and went to the arcade, Lolita joining and noticing Ivy and Ruby playing the same song on DDR, which happened to be Soulja Boy remixed with a Dragonball Z opening. They were getting a perfect score throughout the song.



During the chorus, as they got their anime swag on, they spun in a circle, then grabbed the other’s hand and swung round to the other’s side while having their other arm extended. They continued, spun to right before pointing and shouted, “YOOOOUUUUU!”, then did the same as they spun left, then finally Ruby spun left while Ivy spun right then they pointed to each other. After rapidly tapping the up button, they looked back and pointed at Poison, who then said, “****, I look like Goku.”

A little later, the gang went on a on-rails shooter ride, where the point was to aim your plastic guns at flashing areas and shoot to gain points. Amber noticed that Damien and Lolita happened to have the highest score during the ride, and said, “Damien and Lolita sure would make a good team.”

“No we wouldn’t! Shut the hell up, Amber!” He yelled back.

“Keep it smooth, bro.” Crystal said.

“Our godly aim is too much for you guys.” Lolita said.

“Lets just shut up and focus on this now…” Damien replied.

“As you wish, darling.”

“Don’t make me shoot you with a real gun.”

During the random shooting, a piece of the ceiling above shook, and a large rock fell from above, which normally wouldn’t be enough to kill any of them but I guess times change. It aimed for Poison, which Ruby saw, but before she could do anything herself, Leo leaped up and grabbed the rock surprisingly easily and threw it aside. She breathed a sigh of relief as the ride continued.

Later on, since it was Ivy’s birthday that would mean there would be presents to give out, and they waited until getting to the theme park to do so. Poison revealed his present as he said, “Happy birthday, Ivy.”

“Aww, you big lug, you didn’t have to.” She said, about to except it.

“Alright, I’ll just put it away.” He was about to walk off until Ivy frantically waved her arms, yelling, “No, wait! I was kidding! I want it!”

“I loved my last birthday.” Ruby said, standing beside some others. “My dad gave me a golden shower that day.” There were some awkward stares, and some assumed she meant it literally. Ivy received a cookbook of cakes from Poison, a copy of Eternal Darkness from Damien, some typical vampire clothing from Rosie, Loli Blue gave her a severed head she got earlier that day, and a present from Amber which happened to be shaking in her hands a lot. Amber began whispering to Ivy about how to use it, which is when Damien assumed the worst.

Lolita was looking into the distance with binoculars when Ruby approached her. “What’re you looking at?”

“Bees.”

The smile faded from her face as she quietly said, “My god…”

As if right on cue, a swarm of bees suddenly appeared out of nowhere and attacked Damien, stinging him constantly, though with his powers he swatted them off using the ground.  At that moment Lolita threw Crystal’s bat, hitting him in the forehead and knocking him down. Thinking he was dead, she smiled as she ran over to him when he suddenly sat up rubbing his forehead, making Lolita’s smile fade. “Damien, are you okay?”

“Yeah, just a little dizzy at the moment.”

“Then let me help you.” Lolita took out a chainsaw and tried to slice his head, but missed as Damien ran with her chasing him.

“Lolita, I need to see your boss!” Ruby yelled, getting Lolita to stop and walk over to her. “If this is the work of supernatural forces, I need to stop it now.”

“It’ll be treacherous, are you sure?” She nodded. “It’s a path with strong foes, so if you die, don’t hate.”

Ruby took shelter as she put on her Justice outfit. “I gotta do this. Somewhere Death may scheme, but his number’s up.”

“3-2-1.” Lolita chimed in.

"Lets get suspicious." She said, putting on her mask.

Ruby ran by some girls who swooned as she passed by, which even Lolita raised an eyebrow at. And so Lolita took Ruby to an underground stone passage, which was cold and damp but it didn’t matter. She fought various monsters from giant spiders to large bees as she moved on, and eventually encountered a gigantic ogre with a club, which she ran from, seeming more like a platforming level where she hopped over bottomless pits and dodged various traps set up, with a stone door closing as she reached the end of the passage. Lolita was waiting by the end and contacted Death, arranging a small meeting with him.

“Please, come in. What is it you wish to discuss?” Death asked as Ruby walked into the dark room.

“Well I got this vision a few days ago of my friends dying in situations which really made no sense, saved them, and recently there has been more situations we’ve avoided. Are you causing these events?”

“What are the names of some of these people?”

“Some are demons, like Ivy and Poison, there’s also my sister, Crystal, and a few other abnormal people.”

“Seems like you’re being Punk’d.” Death replied.

“What?!? Are you serious?!”

“Probably, because I assure you, I’m not going after you guys.”

She breathed a sigh of relief again. “Thank goodness, but then I wonder who is…”

“Anyway, take care, and glad I could clear up that misunderstanding. By the way, here’s a coupon for your 700th death.” He said, handing it to her. She thanked him and took off, trying to figure out what to do next. Who could be behind the events, and is Ivy really not hiding anything today? At nearly quarter past four, Lolita decided to round up everyone as she had figured out the answer by closely looking at the small clues.

“I’ve gathered you all to bring attention to the one causing certain strange events today, and that person is Crystal!” She pointed to her. Ruby couldn’t believe her eyes. “Besides, Death, only another psychic could give someone a psychic vision, whether it was actually true or not. The marshmallow trap was also Crystal’s work, but she also had a large hole at the bottom to make sure you were able to rescue her fast enough. The reason Leo was able to stop that rock with ease is because it was hollow. I uncovered it and discovered it was made of plastic.”

“You underestimate my brute strength.” Leo replied.

“Crystal had also thrown a beehive in the area using her psychokinetic powers. And there you have it, Crystal was the culprit behind the crime.” She smoked a pipe as she finished.

“Bravo.” Crystal clapped. “But everyone else was also involved on the prank…except Ivy.”

“I wasn’t told?” She asked. “You’re all lucky I’m nice today…”

“It was a prank?!?” Ruby said in shock. “How could you do this?! You betray me! I’m fed up with you guys!” As she walked off, sulking over her treatment, she was hit by a bus as she walked across the road.

---

An older Ruby sat in an insane asylum, wearing a straitjacket as she explained this to an older Ivy who was listening. “So this is the only dream you had last night?” Ruby nodded. “And what changed in your subconscious to paint me as someone you’d consider a friend.”

“I’m not sure, friendships are strange in the real world.”

“Moreso in delusions. I’m trying to help here, Ruby, but you keep shutting me out, portraying me as the bad guy. What you consider to be reality is just a fictional fantasy, a dream world made up in your head to escape your problems. You think that dream world is where you really exist and this is the dream, but you’re wrong. It seems to change every time I see you, in one I’m your enemy, or just slightly moody, and really irritable. Demons? Angels? Vampires? Wolves? Zombies? Humanoid Bears? Whatever the hell this ‘Willard’ character is? None of it exists. You need to put those childish thoughts behind you and start opening up to me so we can finally uncover the source of these deep-seated troubles.”

Ruby didn’t respond to any of her comments, but instead looked away and said, “Goodnight, Ivy.”

Ivy sighed, seeing how she wasn’t getting through to her after saying what she thought. “I’ll be seeing you again same time next week, Ruby.” She walked out of the room and down to a desk where an older Poison was, who had recently finished some paper work.

“Hey, how’s the treatment coming along?” He asked.

“Not so good. It won’t be long before she’s a lost cause at this rate.”

“Don’t say that, she’ll get through it eventually. Try being a little nicer if you wanna get her to open up.”

“I’ve tried, man, she’s just not very fond of me. You‘re finishing up now, right?”

“Yeah.” Poison said, getting up and filing the papers away. “Wanna stop by DFC for a bit?”

“Heard that place closed down, they were accused of being paedophiles. I know another good place up the street though.”

“Alright.” They continued talking as they walked out together, switching off the lights one by one until it was in complete darkness.

[Marie Rose]

TMEDCE: Chapter 37 - The Hellish Hammerspace Massacre

It was a dark and humid night on Hell, where the designated main characters were living. Amber was staying round Ivy’s house, and along with Ivy and Rosie they had a bath together, while Poison and Damien played cards in the typical red living room.

“You got any twos?” Poison asked.

“We’re playing blackjack.” Damien replied.

“What’s your point?”

Leo entered the room, walking by and proceeding to the bathroom. He entered without knocking and was immediately beaten up and thrown outside, Poison and Damien ignoring it as they continued playing. Later that night, Ivy was on her computer looking up something while Amber watched. She was looking through the emails received on her story when Amber spoke. “Wow, you have over twenty thousand angry emails to do with your story: The story is mind numbingly stupid and boring, the characters are all annoying, and the main character outdoes that chick from My Immortal as worst protagonist ever.”

Ivy pumped her fist in the air. “Yes! Suck it, My Immortal!” She then browsed another section and stopped at one. “Lets look at some others. Sonic Z? Who the hell wrote this ****?”

“Did you watch the video I sent you?” Amber asked.

“You mean the one with the two girls? That was quite philological.”  Ivy nodded.

“2 girls one cup is philological? That’s just stupid, guys.” Rosie replied.

“Its too deep for you to understand, Rosie.” Amber said.

“Yeah, you just didn’t get it.” Ivy said, shaking her head.

“There wasn’t much to get.” She retorted.

“Now you’ve gone and done it!” Amber picked up a pillow and threw it. Rosie dodged it and threw one back, Amber ducking and making it hit Ivy, who then got up and joined in. After a bit of throwing around pillows, Ivy and Amber both threw one at Rosie, who leaped sideways and passed in-between the two pillows as they flew out the window.

Ruby was currently at her computer, looking something up. “Oh, so that’s what a golden shower is? Wow, that must’ve been quite awkward…” From out of nowhere, she was suddenly hit by two pillows which flew in through her window.

Back at Ivy’s house, they were now getting ready for bed. Damien was cleaning up in the living room with Ivy when he discovered a picture by a bookcase in the corner. “Hey, this is your friend, right?”

“She’s not my friend.” Ivy said, walking over even though she hadn’t seen the picture.

“Huh, well who’s this green haired chick? I’d love to meet her.”

“I think I could arrange that.” Ivy said with an evil smirk.

A little later, Damien hopped onto the couch where Leo was watching a movie Poison recommended to him. It had reached a part where flaming T-Rex ninjas and T-Rex pirates were fighting, and after rubbing his eyes Leo exclaimed, “My eyes are temporarily blind from the awesomeness I’m currently witnessing.”

“It happens to everybody the first time, Leo.” Damien replied. Just then, he got a phone call from his dad. “Dad? Why are you calling me?”

“Hey son, there’s this girl here who seems to be looking for you. Says she’s your girlfriend.”

“I don’t know her, dad.”

“Yeah, she said you’re rather shy about it.”

“No, she’s just plain clingy.”

“I remember when your mom and I first met. We always tried to kill each other, there was a lot of foe yay there.”

“Whatever, just hand the phone over to Lolita.” As he did so, he continued. “So, you decided to come after me personally, huh? You don’t have to come and trespass, cause we’ll be looking for you. We gon’ find you. So be ready.” He then hung up. He quickly got to his feet and kicked open Ivy’s door to find Ivy and Rosie trying to force one of Ivy’s dresses on Poison and were messing with his hair while Amber watched. After a moment of awkwardness he ignored it and moved on. “Guys, Lolita is on the way here. She’s flying across the landscape, she’s riling some demon’s up, trying to find me so we gotta hide the knifes, hide the guns, and hide any accessories because she’ll use anything up in here.” Though Rosie volunteered to help, Damien assured her that 4 demons would be more than enough and if she wanted she could watch the spectacle.

A little later, Lolita got nearby, standing in a barren wasteland of corpses and using binoculars to see the large demonic castle up ahead. As she got nearer, Ivy, Poison, Amber and Damien prepared to strike with a team attack. Ivy and Amber rushed in, catching Lolita off guard as they unleashed a flurry of punches and kicks from both sides. Ivy soon kicked her diagonally right, at which point Poison knocked her back, doing the same to the left after more attacks. Ivy and Amber then hit her with an uppercut. Poison and Damien moved throughout the air, slashing at her repeatedly as they passed by. Amber then hit her from above with a large meteor, followed by Lolita getting caught in Poison’s wind vortex shortly before Ivy lit it on fire, then Damien finished up by crushing her with four stone pillars coming together.

After rapping it up, they left, but shortly after Lolita slowly began to emerge from the rocky tomb and dusted herself off. When they reached the porch of the house, they looked back far in the distance to see Lolita marching towards them with an army of skeletons with swords and shields. Rosie was quickly informed, but while they tried to find Leo, Poison pointed to a silhouette of a figure who leaped from the roof far ahead towards Lolita’s position. Damien called out to him, and without saying a word, Leo turned to him and nodded, and in turn Damien did the same. “Lets go.”

“What? We can’t just go! Leo is gonna die out there!” Rosie exclaimed.

“He’s made his own choice, and it’d be disrespectful to deny it.” Ivy and Poison followed Damien to a ship while Rosie stayed to help out Leo.

“You aren’t from around here, are you?” Lolita asked as Leo approached her. Silence. “You’re a wolf, right? Would you like to be my pet?”

“I’m insulted you’d try to belittle my pride by asking such a request.” Leo replied, pure determination in his eyes. “I won’t hold back, so show me your moves.” With a single command they charged at him, but were outmatched in skill as he swiftly punched and kicked the ones which approached him. One managed to get in a rather deep slice across his stomach, but he stood firmly, ready for the next round of skeletons as Rosie rushed up to him.

“Leo, you’re bleeding quite deeply.” Rosie pointed out.

“It is unmanly to cry out in pain over such a cut. You must ignore the pain, and fight using nothing but your pure determination. Your burning pride which excels any kind of wound inflicted in battle!” He replied, raising his fist into the air.

“I don’t think your pride can heal gaping wounds which can kill from blood loss.” Rosie retorted.

“I’d rather not kill you guys, so could you please step aside?” Lolita asked.

“Alright, how about I ask you three questions, and if you answer them right then we’ll go.” Rosie suggested.

“Very well.” Lolita nodded.

“Okay, what do the characters, Louise, Shana, Nagi and Taiga have in common?”

“They’re voiced by Rie Kugimiya.”

“Who is Gary’s father?” Lolita leaned in close and whispered in her ear, Rosie seeming rather frustrated because she got it right. “How do you even know that?”

“I know a lot of things.”

“Fine!” Rosie dramatically pointed at her and said, “What is a man?”

“A miserable little pile of secrets.”

Rosie was flabbergasted at her response that for a moment she had trouble speaking. “H-how? How do you know that?”

“I’ve heard my boss mention the phrase once. Not sure where he got it from though. Now if you‘ve excuse me.” Agreeing to the terms, Rosie and Leo stepped aside, Leo did so mainly because he considered breaking agreements unmanly.

Meanwhile, Ivy, Poison, Damien and Amber were flying across the demonic city in a ship as Damien talked. “So normally I’d just fight her myself, but sadly she’s already dead, and with her super strength, all you can really do is slow her down and evade her sight. We‘ll take refuge in a private area and set up traps for when she does eventually turn up.”

“Well hey, she probably won’t be able to catch up to us now.” Poison replied. Shortly afterwards, a rocket launcher was fired from behind them and missed as it blew up part of a building ahead of them. They glanced behind them to see Lolita slowly approaching on a hoverboard wielding an RPG. They all then glared at Poison. “I know, I was foolish to say that.”

She continued following as she fired, Damien swiftly evading her shots as they turned corners. They eventually destroyed the RPG, at which point Lolita took out a javelin from underneath her coat and threw it at the same point she was hit with a large ball of concentrated wind, sending her flying into one of the buildings like a rag doll. The javelin managed to pierce the tailpipe and make them crash briefly.

A few skeletons from her army caught up and dragged Lolita out. She noticed her neck was broken, and quickly snapped it back into place as she got to her feet. One skeleton pointed at the ship far down the street and she charged at it, the others panicking as they tried to start it up. They eventually did, flying into the air as she almost caught up. She leaped into the air, and onto the ship, and was immediately attacked by Poison again, but blocked the blast with her arms, though it shredded most of her clothing which simply reformed a moment later. She lowered her arms as she said, “Pervert.”

“That wasn’t intentional, guys.” Poison assured them. “You forgive me, right Damien?”

“Why would I be mad?” He asked.

“Come on, man, everyone can see it.”

“He makes a good point.” Lolita agreed.

“Despite disliking her, I support this.” Ivy added.

“You guys better not be suggesting what I think you are.” Damien said.

“Shouldn’t we get back to the main point?” Amber asked, raising her hand. Just then, Leo leaped off a building close by and punched Lolita, knocking her off the ship. Rosie joined him a moment later.

“Why do you get good moments despite having limited screen time?” Poison asked.

“I wish I knew.”

A bit later, they stopped at an old abandoned building, because there’s always one around when you need one. Damien figured Lolita would try to ambush them and arrive from the top floor or one of the middle floors, so they’d each get walkie-talkies to inform the others of her arrive, and he then placed demonic guard dogs on the floors which were unguarded, not to mention attaching dynamite to most of the windows which would detonate as Lolita leaped in. Ivy, Poison, Damien, Amber, Rosie and Leo all met up and confirmed whether they were all ready.

Ivy then said, “That fool stands no chance against my five man band!”

“Five man band?” Rosie asked.

“Yes. Me, the villain, Poison, the dragon, Damien, the evil genius, Amber, the big guy, you, the dark action girl, and Leo could be considered a sixth ranger.”

As Damien predicted, she flew in through a window on one of the top floors and was blown up, her limbs flying off as it happened. She slowly reattached them and was quickly greeted by Ivy. “Do you happen to be voiced by Rie Kugimiya?” She asked.

“What the hell are you talking about? Anyway, fortunately I found you first, so I‘ll defeat you by myself.”

“How can you hope to defeat me by yourself when you can’t defeat your own personal problems. You seem like the type of person to simply run away instead of facing your fears.”

“Who the £#&@ do you think you’re talking to?!?” Ivy attacked, fueled completely by her rage and was unable to hit Lolita as she easily evaded her attacks.

“What’s the point of power if you aren’t fast enough to hit your opponent? You lack technique.” Lolita kneed her in the chest and knocked her back with a roundhouse kick. “You simply just hope your own problems will go away if you ignore them long enough instead of fixing them yourself.”

“Shut up! You know nothing about me! Your attitude pisses me off!”

“Is it because I’m not reacting to your constant idiotic yelling?” As Ivy prepared to attack again, Poison, Amber and Rosie arrived, and also charged at her. They were knocking her about for quite a while until her army of skeletons arrived which rushed in from the entrance. Half of them were destroyed by traps set up by Damien on the way up, but as they got there, Leo also arrived and most of them focused their attention on the mobs of skeletons while Poison fought Lolita. Though pretty close to even, Lolita had a slight advantage of help from the souls around her. As she tried a sneak attack from behind, she was punched into a wall by Ivy, who now had a glowing red aura around her. Lolita got to her feet and summoned more souls into her body to give her additional power to combat Ivy’s hidden strength.

“You’re out of your league, princess.” Lolita said.

“Don’t patronize me.” Ivy replied just before charging at her, while Lolita did the same. They clashed and moved about the area at super speed, creating shockwaves where they moved while the others felt it was best to move out the way. Ivy eventually ripped off a stairs banister and whacked her out a window with it, then followed her into the air. “Fool! You stand no chance against my true power! I even have a fan club here which worships my overwhelming and omniscient power! Some of the female members are a little too happy to be a part of it, but the more the merrier, I say. Anyway, you’re doomed!” She crossed her arms and laughed with her eyes closed. “Haaaaahahahaha!” While she did so, Lolita hit her with half a building nearby and flew back into the abandoned building.

Lolita avoided having to fight the others again and eventually found Damien sitting in a dark room as she entered. “Your time is up, Damien, its time to pay the reaper.”

Damien sighed as he took out his wallet. “Fine, just take it.” he said, giving her a roll of money.

She took the money and began to walk off. “I’ll be back in a fortnight. Oh, by the way, are we still on tomorrow?”

“Sure, why not.” She left the room moments before Damien left through another exit.

Somewhere in another dimension far, far away, the older mature Ivy sat in a chair stroking a cat as some of her guards were examining a dimensional portal when one approached her, saying, “Mistress, we seem to have found the dimension which the escapee came from.”

“About damn time. I was getting bored visiting those other universes and wiping out most of their resistances. I mean, it was quite fun but after a while I noticed the lack of variety. Lets see if this one is any different.” She smirked as she finished.

[Marie Rose]

TMEDCE: Chapter 38 - Two Sides to Every Story, Part 1

A day or so afterwards, it was late that morning, and the ambiguously evil group were on a plane, planning to travel to a convention, possibly in Japan but maybe not. Unfortunately for some people, they were seated beside people they aren’t fond of, like Ivy sitting beside Ruby. “Why am I seated beside this foolish angel?” Ivy asked, pointing out that fact.

“Convenience reasons.” Damien replied, sitting beside Poison. “What’s in that rucksack you placed in the storage compartment anyway?”

“Its my food for the day.”

“The sad thing is, I’m not surprised.”

“Oh, and Damien, just so you know, that green haired chick you like is going to meet us there.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, she’ll definitely be there, won’t she, Harry?” Ivy said, smirking as she looked at him.

Rather than go along with this and wondering why she used his real name, Poison whispered something in his ear, then as Damien shot a look saying, “You serious?”, Poison nodded. “Once again, the sad thing is, if it was anyone else, I’d still tap that ass, but since its you I’ll keep my hands to myself.”

“I appreciate it, man, though I wish I wasn‘t a convincing crossdresser...” Poison said with a sigh.

Crystal and Amber were sitting behind Ivy and Ruby and listened as they talked. “So Ivy, how’re you and Harry getting on?” Ruby asked.

“Still not that great. He has no problem washing a girl’s back and sleeping in the same bed, but will still never make a move.”

“You think he’s gay?”

“I’m not sure. He isn’t awkward around Rosie either, but that might not be the case. He might be waiting for me to develop a little more, otherwise he might look like a lolicon, and when I do get older he won’t be as interested and would yearn more for a younger body.”

“This conversation took a sudden bad turn.” Crystal said, turning to Amber.

“Haven’t you ever just tried raping him in his sleep?” Ruby asked.

“This conversation took an even worse turn, and when did Ruby turn into this kind of person?”

“I always considered Ivy, Ruby and Harry to be a OT3.” Amber replied.

“Is that shipping I hear over there?” Gary yelled, sitting beside Loli Red, who sat behind Rosie and Leo.

“I think shipping is stupid.” Poison said. Most of the people around gasped.

“Shipping is not **** stupid!” Loli Red yelled, getting up. “Shipping is serious **** business, you don’t even know!”

“I think you should calm down, Tsundere-chan.”

“No, you **** calm down! I demand that you apologize for that **** statement!”

“I’m not gonna apologize for my opinion.”

Suddenly the plane started going down, and the pilot poked his head out, shouting, “If you don’t **** apologize for that then we’re all gonna **** die right now!”

“Technically, some of us can fly…” He said quietly.

“Sometimes you have to be the bigger man and let things go, Harry.” Leo said.

“Fine, I’m sorry.” The plane instantly recovered and everyone calmed down. “And why the hell is everyone suddenly using my real name?”

“Its one of those quirks we’re trying out for a while.” Rosie suggested. “Or maybe just a simple mistake, everyone makes them, like allowing Seltzer and Friedberg to make more films, or mistaking philological for philosophical.”

“So you did notice…” Ivy said quietly.

“Though I guess it is lame, much like some of the events you’ve mentioned and how you’re all still here despite the deaths.”

“Well its just mainly Ruby who dies on occasions.” Ivy replied.

“Yeah, like that time you ate me out.” Ruby said, which made some of the others do a spit take.

“I knew it wasn’t just subtext.” Amber said with a smile.

“What I saw in that other dimension wasn’t insane after all…” Gary added.

“N-no, wait! Its not what you think! She just said it wrong!” Ivy protested.

“You think you know your own sister…” Damien shook his head.

“Its not like that! I killed and ate her! That’s all that happened!” Even throughout this, none of the passengers batted an eye.

“Just leave it, Ivy, everyone will forget it soon enough.” Poison suggested.

Ivy sighed. “I guess you’re right. Though I wouldn‘t be apposed to you eating me out…”

“Whenever you want me to kill you, all you have to do is ask.”

As they arrived in the city streets packed with crowds of people roaming around the area, they also looked around. As there were many cosplayers about, they also assumed some of their group were cosplayers. Some also wondered whether Ivy was cosplaying as a Rie Kugimiya loli type character, but she debunked those claims.

“I can see how you’d be mistaken for one of those characters, you are rather flat and childish after all.” Poison commented. Ivy reacted by attempting to punch him, but he swiftly evaded it as he sidestepped the punch without moving his feet. His voice deepened as he smiled. “I have ascended from that degrading state. Your megaton punch is insignificant compared to my heightened speed.”

Ivy smirked as she said, “Is that so? Well I’ve been saving a new move for this very moment, and it seems I won’t have to hold back. Lets see how you do against this!” She charged at him, attacking with a flurry of punches as he dodged them while constantly moving back. Half the others simply went off to explore the area while they did this.

In another area, the older Ruby from the distant future timeline arrived in the middle of the area, looking for the others. She spotted Leo entering a shop and decided to run after him, since she could tell he wasn’t normal upon first glance so its only natural that he’d know.

Damien was walking down one street when Gary suddenly called to him. “Damien!” He turned to face him. “Its time we settled that little dispute with our fists!”

“There’s no need to do that, man. Besides, I’m a ground/rock type and you’re a electric type, that would be ignoring the rules.”

“Screw the rules!” He leaped forward and punched Damien, knocking him to the ground. “The rules can take it like a ****!”

“Are you done?” Damien asked as he got up.

Gary instantly calmed down. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“Wanna walk with me then?”

“Well alright, you don’t seem very evil today.”

“Very well then,” He summoned a large rock hand from somewhere further ahead and slapped several pedestrians into the middle of the street, who were then run over by a car passing by. “There’s my evil deed for the day.”

“Guess I shouldn’t have said anything…”

“You really shouldn’t. I wonder what my other evil pals are doing right now…”

“Probably just playing a poker game.”

“Oh, by the way, if you happen to see a girl in all black who seems rather odd, inform me. I’d like to avoid her if necessary.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Ivy and Poison were wondering round an indoor area, looking around at the various places which shall not be mentioned. Lily ran towards them, waving, while dressed like Hatsune Miku with a microphone in her hand. “Hey guys, what’re you doing here?”

They turned to face her as Poison spoke. “Nothing much. Why are you here, and dressed like that?”

“It’s a long story and I don’t wanna talk about it. Anyone else with you guys?”

“Pretty much our small group are here.”

“Hey guys, look at this!” A familiar voice called out to them. They looked in its direction to see Ruby in a teddy bear suit. “Look! I’m a teddy bear! Though I have to be cautious of my other arch-nemesis, Pedobear, he’s always going after elementary schools and such, so looking like a bear seems out of place. Anyway, give me a hug!” She charged at Poison, who took off in the opposite direction in case exposure to overwhelming cuteness might give him diabetes.  

“Not so fast!” Poison and Ruby stopped in their tracks and turned to Ivy who was now dressed as a grizzly bear. “Lets see you take me on!”

“Very well, I’ll have to transform!” And she did, starting a typical transformation sequence while the others stared in bewilderment and left some cosplayers in awe.

“What is this?” Ivy said in disgust.

“I don’t even.” Poison shook his head. “I shouldn’t even be watching this.” He quickly turned around.

When Ruby finished she was in her Justice attire, and Ivy had donned her opposite coloured outfit while Ruby took her sweet time transforming. Ruby pointed at her and said, “Lets get malicious!”

“This is the very final battle! You want some of this?”

“Yeah, I want some of that!”

“Then come get some!” They charged at each other and began pummelling the hell out of one another while some watched.

“So how did you and Ivy even meet, Harry? You’ve never told me that even during our psychology meetings.” Lily said.

“I too, would like to know.” Lolita added, appearing beside them like a ghost.

After ignoring her sudden appearance, he began. “Well I knew Damien first of all. Seeing how most demons are complete assholes, including my dad, when Damien started trouble with me I just fought back to get some frustration out. At the time, no-one had dared to try and attack him, so we became friends because I treated him like an average person instead of just royalty, though I didn’t know who he was before I attacked him. I wasn’t always the aloof, fun loving person I am now. I was quite timid back then, but Damien’s encouragement and training helped to change that. I even climbed this mountain and slayed a dragon with a sword I found there, which is the very same one I use today. I respected him quite a bit after getting to know him.”

“Boys love.” Lily nodded, while Lolita agreed.

“No, it was Guy love, there was nothing gay about it in our eyes.” Poison assured them. “Anyway, after he died trying to kill his dad, I found myself without much to do as he was only one I could really call a friend. So after noticing Ivy wasn’t taking it as well as I was, I decided to follow her and cheer her up, out of respect for Damien. She regularly avoided me and punched me to try and get me to leave her alone and stop trying to help her, despite the fact she was clearly sad.”

“How long did it take for her to warm up to you?” Lolita asked.

“Around 2 years, in our time.”

“That’s a rather stubborn tsundere trait.”

“I don’t think that’s the case, her dignity just means a lot to her. After a while, when I really thought about it, my desire to help could’ve deep down seemed like a form of pity, and nobody likes to feel pitied by others.”

“Too true.” Lolita nodded.

“I’m not sure when exactly, but I got a fever at one point from all the effort I was making and was told by another that Ivy took care of me during that time. When I got better Ivy wasn’t as hostile, maybe I said something in my sleep that changed her opinion of me, but when I got better she practically forced me into becoming her personal servant, and we‘ve been together ever since.”

“That’s beautiful.” Lily responded, wiping a tear from her eye.

“That story would warm my heart if I had one.” Lolita said. “Seeing as I’m dead and all.”

“Yeah, I got it, Lolita.” Poison replied. While they happened to be talking, Ivy and Ruby were currently fighting in giant robots outside.

A little later, the older Ruby had managed to find Crystal, Amber, and Damien with the help of Leo and was explaining the situation to them. “So listen guys, I’m from another distant future where Ivy has taken over the earth, and has wiped out most of the universe’s races while growing extraordinarily strong over time.”

“Wait, so how did all this happen, exactly?” Amber asked.

“Well, it was rather odd, another Gary from some other universe came back in time to a few days before that war with our two planets and tried to get Ivy not to go down that route. This kinda backfired when Willard killed Poison in front of her, making Ivy jump the gap from laughably evil to sadistically pure evil, and killing everybody who ever wronged her in some way, and conquering Earth like she should have done before.”

Crystal thought to herself what that would be like...

---

Amber ran into Crystal’s living room as she spoke, “Crystal, you wouldn’t believe it. I was nearing the end and had that dual boss fight with Ivy and Poison, then as I beat Poison, Ivy suddenly got this huge power boost and began to curb stomp my ass! I only managed to get a few hits in before she destroyed my whole party. It was insane!”

“I told you to kill Ivy first, Amber! She even has less HP!”

“Yeah but that multi-hit wind hurricane move made it hard to focus on her.”

“Well you paid the price. Poison gets stronger too once you beat Ivy, but not to such a boost where its nearly impossible to win if you aren’t overleveled.”

---

She then realized how stupid and insensitive that was. Ruby wondered where this universe’s Gary was, so Damien left to find him before the alternate universe Ivy turned up. The older Ruby left to find her counterpart and handed them a dimensional remote, fearing the worst. Poison, Gary and Rosie were in a book store, looking in sections most people wouldn’t announce they were in normally. While everything was normal at first, suddenly something crashed through the window, covered in a red aura. Poison and Rosie were confused, as was Gary until he realized who it possibly was a moment later.

Rosie wasted no time and threw a bookcase at her, which she whacked out the way and hit her with a large fireball, knocking her out. Gary, frozen in fear from her appearance, was punched into a wall and knocked out. She fired another fireball at Poison, who sliced it in half as he prepared to attack while wondering who she was. She simply smirked and fired a large wave of fire which covered the shop, knocking him unconscious. She grabbed the three of them and leaped back outside.

A little while later, Damien, Leo and Lolita, being the only two around, were informed of their disappearance, along with Crystal and Amber. The older Ruby explained that she most likely took them to her dimension and are waiting for their arrival. She also said she’d make her own way to Ivy’s base with her own counterpart who she’d be meeting with shortly. At that moment, Ivy showed up, and when they wondered how she avoided being kidnapped, she mentioned bringing a ridiculously demon robot stuffed away in her rucksack for cases like this, bringing to light her experience at regularly being kidnapped. As the older Ruby took off, Damien then asked, “So how’re we going to do this? Just charge in there and attack the base head-on?”

“Just like old times.” Ivy nodded. They used the remote to transport themselves to the apocalyptic future where their friends currently were.

[Marie Rose]

This was a hell of a lot longer than I wanted it to be, just like what happened with chapter 26 >_>. AU stands for Alternate Universe, since I'd be using it a lot in this chapter.
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TMEDCE: Chapter 39 - Two Sides to Every Story, Part 2 

Shortly after the events of the previous chapter, Ivy, Damien, Lolita and Leo arrived in the alternate timeline, overlooking the apocalyptic view of the cities. Ruby and her AU counterpart rushed over to them shortly after arriving. AU Ruby then said, “Good to see you guys got here safely.”

“How does a remote work for dimensional travelling anyway?” Ivy asked.

“Well I just had a certain scientist work on that, so I’m not sure, but we got quite a few for that purpose. Anyway, there should be an area far ahead which looks like a fortress in the middle of the city. That’s where your friends most likely are. You guys should be able to make it in the front simply using force if you felt like it. Me and my other self will have to make a quick stop first, then catch up with you.” She grabbed Ruby’s arm as she ran off.

While the others were still slightly confused, Damien began to explain the plan. “Okay, we’re gonna have to infiltrate this place and free everyone, hopefully before getting the attention of every guard in the place. Lolita will take out the artillery and other forces occupying the entrance so we can get in. What we should do next is someone’s gotta make it to the control room and take out whoever may be there, then possibly guide us to the right cells using the cameras.”

“I can make it to the camera room.” Leo replied. “Just trust me on this, I’ll find a way.”

Damien continued. “Alright. Once we get the others out, I’ll seal up most of the paths so that when the guards do come at us, we can’t be sneak attacked from all directions, though we should be careful in case there’s a threat we can’t handle. Got it?” They all nodded.

A minute later, Ruby and her AU self where walking down a dark enclosed area towards the fortress. After a long period of silence, Ruby then asked, “So how do you get by in this world if Ivy has taken over?”

“Well you see, I’m like the top fighter in this group of freedom fighters I joined, and we go around foiling her plans and trying to bring her down, one day at a time. We have a few hideouts which Ivy and her goons don’t know about to keep us safe.”

“That sounds awfully familiar…” Ruby said, stroking her chin. “But how did you know where to find us?”

“Your friend told me, the wolf boy.”

“Oh, okay, but how did you know that he knew us?”

“Well he just looked out of place so I asked, could we just drop the issue? It was a lucky guess, is all.”

“There’s something you’re not telling me.” Ruby squinted at her as she stopped. “If you used to work with Ivy, why would you suddenly become good again a year ago when its far too late? I think you’re lying, you’re still working with her, aren’t you?”

AU Ruby stopped a bit ahead and chuckled slightly before turning around. “I guess you’re a little smarter than I thought, unlike the few others I‘ve killed.”

“Few others?”

“Yes, they were a little more gullible, though you seem a little more experienced. Quite ahead of the other timelines I’ve been to.” AU Ruby said, eyeing her Justice costume. “They never dressed up like a superhero, that’s for sure.”

“So why are you doing this?”

“To kill Ivy with your friends help. I could try myself, but we’re on good terms and I’d hate to ruin that trust myself, and now I won’t have to. After taking care of personal business, she eventually invented a machine which would allow her to transfer elemental energy from others into her own body, allowing her to use multiple elements and increase the power of her own. Her fire ability has improved to the point she could melt adamantium if she so desired. The serums at first were fine, but there were side effects like additional veins appearing, and her body mutating a little, so she had to test formulas she created to stop the negative effects. The test subjects on the other hand? For the sake of your eyes, its best not to see how they turned out. She kept Omar around for this whole purpose, and he eventually made a serum to remove her abilities, but she sadly killed him before he could use it. Now that we’ve cleared this up, I’ll play around with you for a little while.”

Outside the large fortress with searchlights round the sides, along with large turrets and missile launchers implanted in the structure, Lolita took a running leap towards two turrets which began firing at her. She drew two katana and spun repeatedly as she curled into a ball, deflecting bullet fire and slicing them in half as she landed. She ran around the path, slicing the upcoming turrets in half, somersaulting and flipping to avoid the missiles fired at her while also sidestepping the searchlights. She leaped off the fortress while throwing several shuriken which took out the last weapon, and landed on a motorcycle behind Damien and Ivy as they blasted open the entrance. Leo got to the control room through the roof where Lolita had dispatched the turrets and easily took out the two guards there. “Okay, guys, I’m in.” Leo said, taking out a walkie-talkie.

“Good work, Leo.” Damien said as he stopped the black bike and they got off. “Lets try not to make too much noise and be alert.” Ivy moved on ahead of them as Leo gave directions, slaughtering several guards they came across. “What’s up with her?” Damien asked.

“She’s probably trying to prove that she isn’t weak and insecure.” Lolita replied.

Ivy suddenly tackled her, pinning her down and punching her repeatedly for several moments before walking off as she said, “I still hate your guts.”

Lolita snapped her neck back into place and then said, “She mad.”

As another guard came round the corner to investigate the noise, Ivy quickly impaled him and sliced his head off. Damien sighed as he said, “Ivy, could you try to leave some for me?”

“Why? In the end it achieves the same result.”

“Perhaps we should be a little more forgiving. Maybe not all of them are bad and are just following orders as to not get killed.” Lolita suggested.

“**** ‘em! We kill ‘em all. And then nuke the fortress when we’re done.” Damien replied. “And y’know, I still haven’t tickled you once since coming back.” He said, turning to Ivy.

“I’m too old for that Damien, I’m not a kid.”

“That’s not gonna make a difference.”

“It will if I break your hands.”

“Shall I assist in the tickling?” Lolita asked.

“I wish I could kill you for good.” Ivy said, glaring at her.

AU Ivy was sitting on a throne with several guards in a red room, watching a horror movie involving Pedobear. A guard ran in yelling, “Mistress, it appears the counterpart of you we got appeared to be a robot.”

“Is that so? Tell me, where did you find her?”

“Uhh, a dark alleyway, lying down, and she appeared to be unconscious.”

“I see.” with a wave of her hand, she shot a beam of fire which incinerated him. “That’s what you get for not making sure, though she should be here shortly. Hey, if I raped her, would it be incest or just ****?”

“Possibly both, mistress.” One guard replied.

“Wonderful.” She began laughing, with most guards joining in out of fear, and the only one who didn’t was also incinerated.

The alarms went off and the guards prepared to do battle. As they did, one guard wasn’t pleased with the situation. “Are you guys insane? There’s no way we’re surviving this! We’re just typical guards against several dangerous individuals out there, and for me its worse, brothers don’t last long at all during these times. You can go and kill yourselves, but me? I’m getting the hell out of here.” And so he left in the opposite direction.

After encountering more guards then usual, the others realized they’ve been discovered and rushed on ahead, and though Lolita’s kills were swift, Ivy and Damien took their time killing their targets. One attempted to grab Ivy’s tail, and was immediately flung into the wall and knocked unconscious. As she was distracted, another grabbed her arm yelling, “Now you’re powerless! I got your right arm!”

“Indeed you have.” She smiled before breaking his arm and kneeing him in the stomach, then as he dropped to his knees, she slowly crushed his forehead, horrifying several other guards who witnessed it. Damien sealed up some of the paths as they proceeded, shortly coming to the cells and Leo unlocked the special adamantium plated cells along with other civilians trapped there. “I love it when a plan comes together.” Damien said, lighting a cigarette.

More guards rushed down the path towards them, at which point Lolita reached underneath her longcoat and pulled out a large pole. The others turned to Poison, as if they were expecting him to say something, and so he did. “I think that sight speaks for itself.”

One wondering guard entered the security room where Leo was, but luckily he was ready, and with a manly throw he threw the guard so hard that he exploded upon touching the ground. Seeing as AU Ivy figured bad things were going down, she decided to dispatch Nookie, who was a much larger and intimidating tentacle monster in that universe.

Meanwhile, in a dark area with many experimental containers filled with water, UA Ruby was slowly walking around, looking for Ruby who was hiding and thinking of a plan. She had already taken out the lights in the room to hide easier with her black outfit. She shot a smoke bomb and then threw a holy hand grenade, attacking as it went off, hoping that the explosion nullified the sound of her flying at her. Ruby flew right into her stomach and followed up with several kicks to the face and hammering him into the ground. AU Ruby rolled over, avoiding another punch, and punched her into a wall. She picked up half a dozen tanks using her powers and threw them, which Ruby dodged as she ran, but was held in place as Ruby caught up, then kicked around the room repeatedly. AU Ruby moved her closer as she spoke. “I figured you’d put up more of a fight, I’m surprisingly disappointed.”

“As long as you continue your evil schemes then I won’t give up.”

“Just what I heard from half the others I’ve killed. Aren’t you tired of this crap? Being a goody two shoes and getting no respect whatsoever? People betray each others trust and deceives others on a regular basis, so the only way to truly get what you want is taking it by force.”

“You’re wrong, sure some people are selfish, arrogant and pretty much give you a negative view of the universe, like a certain demon I know, but there’s more to it. Just as people can be mean and spiteful, they can also be surprisingly caring and thoughtful. I was once prejudice against demons, because I’d always heard bad things from others but had never actually met one myself. Though me and Ivy got off to a bad start, and its really cliché to say this, overtime I came to realize that although our viewpoints differ, we really aren’t so different, and would’ve probably been really good friends if we grew up on the same planet. If I spent my time thinking about the good and bad points in my life, I might turn out like you, but I’d rather remain optimistic and take things with a grain of salt. Maybe you too could’ve learned that.”

AU Ruby facepalmed. “That was so cheesy, and are you really trying to give me an Aesop? 

“Sort of, though there’s one thing that’ll never change, and that’s my determination!” At that moment Ruby managed to break free and flip, hitting her with her feet.

She threw another grenade, which missed as AU Ruby leaped to the left. Crystal suddenly appeared beside her and whacked her with her bat, sending her flying across the room and through one of the tanks, supposedly killing her. “I finally got a home run.” She turned to Ruby and motioned for her to come as they left.

Back in the fortress, the group were taking out guards left and right with their signature weapons, Rosie being even more violent than Ivy in this case. Amber commented on it. “Geez, Rosie, when did you learn to be so cruel and unnecessarily brutal?”

“Well if you’re gonna have super strength and freedom, you might as well exploit it.”

“You’d fit right in with Mortal Kombat.”

“Not until I rip out someone’s spine with my bare hands.”

“But you already did that, that’s how you won that tournament on our planet, remember? This yellow ninja guy even dimmed the lights and exclaimed for you to finish him.”

“Oh yeah, who was that guy anyway?”

“I have no idea, he kinda vanished shortly afterwards.”

A few moments later, as Rosie took out a guard standing inches from Gary, she cut his arm slightly with her razor sharp whip. “Oh, I’m terribly sorry, Gary.”

“Don’t worry, I’m okay.” He replied, licking the wound slightly, then stopped as he saw Poison and Rosie staring. “I’m a little messed up…”

“Can I have some of that?” Rosie asked, pointing at the cut.

“I wanna live if you don’t mind.”

Just then, Nookie approached the area, coming from the opposite direction. Lolita stepped ahead of the others, turned to Damien and said, “I’ll be back.” She rushed in and tackled it through a wall to outside, slicing its various limbs off, blasting it with various small guns, then sticking a rocket launcher in its mouth along with several grenade and causing a massive explosion as she fired just before they touched the ground.

Seeing as UA Ivy called for even more backup, the same cult of lolis which attempted to resurrect Damien in the regular timeline are now Ivy’s Loli squadron, though more like Buxom squadron. “Not so fast! You may have broken out somehow, but we’re gonna put you right back in your place!” An orange haired Buxom pointed at them.

“Well while we have occasions of depowering circumstances, compared to us you’re still a squadron of fodder. Just look at the kind of people I know.” Poison raised his hand and moved around as he pointed, just as Ruby and Crystal arrived. “A demon prince and princess, a demon lord, two angelic siblings, an angel prince, a wolf hybrid, a vampire, and even more on occasions.”  He then smiled as he got ready to attack. “Now, allow me to confuse you before stomping the curb.” He charged at them, yelling, “Green Thundeeeeeeeer!”

“Green what?” Was all one could say before most of them were wiped out with a large tornado uppercut, while the rest where taken down by the others.

Damien placed a hand on Poison’s shoulder as he said, “That was good man, but where did you get the nickname?”

“Oh, I just remembered Ivy saying it once, still have no idea what it means though.” Ivy whistled slightly as she turned away. 

Ivy moved on ahead, taking an elevator to the top floor where her AU counterpart was, while Damien got the Buxom squadron to stop attacking them after explaining who he was. Ivy left the lift, slowly walking towards her AU self who sat in her throne staring at her. “So, we finally meet. I have just one thing I must ask.” She stopped and pointed. “At what point did I finally have that growth spurt?!?”

“I’d say another two years or so.”

“That’s too long!”

“I thought so too but it went rather fast after I freed myself from the confines of my misery, by killing everyone who didn’t bow to me and kiss the royal feet.”

“I haven’t said that line in ages…” Ivy said quietly. “But back to the point, you messed with the wrong universe.” The others were hearing this over her walkie-talkie which was left on. “For your information, Poison belongs to me, and I guess I came to get those other people too.” The others listening were clearly mad.

“Should I be happy that I’m the only one Ivy bothered to mention, or annoyed that she considers me a possession?” Poison asked.

“That’s just how she shows her love, I guess.” Amber replied.

“Lighten up.” AU Ivy responded. “Why don’t you just join me, we’re one in the same, aren’t we? I get whatever I want now, for instance, they recently released Eternal Darkness 4 just for me!”

“Huh, could I get a copy of the other three then?”

“Not only that, I also forced The Asylum to make more movies, and they made a spinoff to Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, titled: Badass Kitten vs. Uber Bunny. I even get Seltzer and Friedberg to make worse movies for torturing my prisoners. I’ve never watched them myself, mainly because I’d rather not be forced to commit suicide.”

“Sorry, I’m not interested.” Ivy shook her head.

“Very well then.” AU Ivy got to her feet. “Lets begin.”

Ivy quickly charged at her and tackled her through the window, pummelling her repeatedly as her AU self mocked her, making Ivy bring her down to the ground with a knee to the stomach, grabbing her by the hair and throwing her up, and then hammering her into another building nearby and finishing with a large fiery beam. AU Ivy emerged from the rubble and dusted herself off before launching her assault. She blitzed around Ivy, hitting her constantly, then hit her with a knee to her back, knocking her into the ground and dragging her along for a few moments. Ivy rolled out the way as AU Ivy tried to impale her with a stone spear and flipped back. The others arrived shortly, but it proved to be futile as AU Ivy wiped out Poison, Gary and Damien all together by combining elemental attacks to make her defence near impregnable.

“Its evil Ivy!” Ruby explained as she ran up to the area.

“I’m already evil, moron.” Ivy replied.

“Fine, eviler Ivy, are you happy?”

“Sadly, I’m not.”

Lolita waved and said, “I’m back.” as she ran towards the area.

AU Ivy punched Crystal towards the others, a moment before Crystal said, “For some reason I can’t make her head explode with my mind. Its like something is stopping me.”

“The plot?” Lolita replied.

Ivy got to her feet, ready to give it another try. “I have to combine powers to keep up with her. Poison, blow me! Gary, fry my ass!”

“You’re trying too hard to make that sound dirty.” Poison responded.

They complied with her order a few moments later and she rushed off to do battle again. Seeing this, Ruby turned to Poison and said, “I gotta do that too! Poison, you should put your thingy in my thingy so I can be rejuvenated.”

“Ruby, you’re fully aware of what you’re saying, aren’t you?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about…” she said, looking away.

Ivy tackled her AU self, the eviler counterpart quickly regaining her balance and keeping up with her, eventually surpassing Ivy in speed due to having far more experience at using them, so she continued to whack Ivy around the area, taking great measures to inflict pain but not outright kill her. Ivy got up once more and decided to use unexpected attack patterns to catch her off guard. AU Ivy eventually stopped her comeback with an upward punch to the chest, then knocked her to the ground.

Ruby attempted to intervene, taking out her iPod and preparing to go into dance battler mode, but AU Ivy blasted it with a finger. She was heartbroken over this, but more filled with rage. Ruby charged towards the robot, which easily knocked her aside then crushed her underneath its foot. Poison opened his mouth to point out how the last sentence made no sense and seemed like stock footage from an earlier curb stomp, but decided to remain silent.

AU Ivy then held Ivy inches from her face, now preparing to finish her. “Any last words?” Just then, Leo appeared and injected her with a syringe, pulling it out a moment later as she whacked him, then tossing another to Ivy, who injected her with the second. “Leo?! Why you!”

Most of them were taken back by this, and right on cue, AU Ruby had recovered and was walking towards the area, saying, “You’re all probably wondering what’s going on here. I regret to inform that Leo was working with me all along, and he comes from this dimension.” Some of them gasped.

“I knew it.” Lolita said. “When I said he wasn’t from around here last time, it was subtle foreshadowing, but I never told anyone because its not by job, but I knew.”

“Of course you did, Lolita.” Damien said sarcastically.

“Now that I think about it, he’s never told us about himself.” Gary said.

“And he doesn’t appear very often either.” Crystal added.

“Its true.” Leo said, turning away. “Not to say I didn’t like you guys, but when Ruby devised the plan to take down Ivy, I was willing to travel the dimensional gap to make it happen, we had a common goal at the time. I was a little shocked, seeing how Ivy and Ruby were partners in a sexual way.”

Ivy and Ruby stared at each other, and then began vomiting in a window beside them as Poison asked. “Could I get some pictures?” As some of them stared at him, he then said, “Don’t judge me…”

“How could you do this, Ruby? I trusted you!” AU Ivy yelled. “I even let you be the S far more than I was!”

“Oh yeah, and Ruby is a dominant one in the bedroom.” Leo added.

As Ivy and Ruby vomited even more, Poison raised an eyebrow as he said, “Really?” Amber ran off unnoticed as the two went on.

“After all the crap you put me through, you deserve the crap I did!” AU Ruby shouted back. “And once I kill you, that’ll be the end of it.” AU Ruby took out her spear and said, “You lose, foolish demon.” before impaling her with it. As AU Ruby prepared to attack the others, Amber managed to crush her with a forklift, then threw her hands up as she exclaimed, “Huzzah!” Some of them noticed Leo gone, and since business had been settled there, they also decided it was time to leave, just as Ivy and Ruby stopped vomiting. Some of them wondered whether AU Ruby would just come back, so they tied her up and injected her with the mixture meant to remove special abilities. As they were leaving one by one, AU Ivy closed the portal, slowly getting to her feet from behind them. Ivy smiled before rushing ahead and tackling AU Ivy into a portal behind her.

The others, shocked by this, used their remote to leave and hopefully track them down.

---

Now its time for: Reipa Girl, tell ’em!

Lolita sat at an office desk with the camera facing her. She pointed as she said, “Yooooooou.” completely deadpan. “Welcome to my Q&A section which has been set up. First caller, you’re on the air.”

“Yeah, I’ve always wondered, you say you’re dead, but do your internal functions still work?”

“Yes, actually. I can grace others with golden showers, still have babies, though they might seem a little dead, and still take a ****. Sometimes I just take a **** in midair when I’m in the middle of a mission, it gets a little awkward when people ask me to **** on them, but sometimes I just gotta take that ****.”

“I hope someday I can say all that with a straight face.”

“Next caller, please.”

“Where do you keep half your weapons?”

“The real answer might drive humans to the point of insanity so I will refrain from answering.”

“What if I’m not a human?”

“I’d still rather not answer. Next.”

“Why are you so cold to others and just plain rude?” said a muffled voice, trying to disguise themselves.

“I do it for their benefit, sometimes knowing the truth is better than being lied to and oblivious to others thoughts.”

“Even when that truth can emotionally hurt someone trying to forget their problems?”

“We all have problems, but what differs is how we deal with them. I sense I’ve spoken to you before, and if I may politely ask, how did you deal with it?”

“I kinda didn’t. I just kept to myself, stayed in my house half the time, used the internet regularly and stayed up late watching TV shows, because if I have to be around a race of assholes I don’t like, then I’d rather be alone.”

“That did seem like a big cry for help, princess.”

“I-I’m not a princess, you jerk.”

“Are you voiced by Rie Kugamiya?”

“Why?”

“She tends to voice a lot of tsundere lolis.”

“I’m not a **** tsundere!”

“But you are a loli?”

“You stupid ****, looking all cool and crap, I’m gonna kill you myself when I find you!”

Lolita leaned back and pointed ahead. “You mad.” Lolita then cut the connection. “Next caller, please.”

“Umm, are you really as developed as you say?”

“Yes, I’m a C. Just thought you should know.”

“Then isn’t you name rather contradictory?”

“An example is not a definition. Just like how children in anime are just midgets in comparison to their voluptuous older looks later in life. Lolita style clothing has no factor on age, like those Victorian dresses. So feel free to now think dirty thoughts without denying your preferences. Ahh, we have one more caller, you’re on.”

“Hey there, I happen to know this girl. I don’t necessarily hate her, and we do have a bit of a past but now I want to strangle her whenever she appears. She’s rather clingy, half the time I can’t tell if she’s joking or serious, and treats half the things I say as a way of showing love. What should I do?”

Lolita smiled as she spoke. “I think you should spend the rest of your life with her.”

“Wha?”

“Yes, she sounds like the perfect wife. Go to her and confess your love, then take her out on dates and tourist sites, just the two of you. Engage in every position featured in the Kama sutra and spice up your love life with role-play. Soon the two of you will be married with several kids who you’ll both love very much, and it’ll be a happy ending.”

“Lolita, you know its me, don’t you?”

She ignored the question and waved to the camera. “That’s all we have time for, bye-bye!”

[Marie Rose]

Well, this is it. I had no choice but to crank out any joke I might've been saving but never got a chance to use, or discard it all together. Not much else to say apart from that.
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TMEDCE: Chapter 40 - Two Sides to Every Story, Part 3

In one of the universes, one of the ninjas who made the show was being interviewed by someone, who said, “So what’s the thought process on the direction of the episodes, exactly?”

“Well we tend to differ in how we want it turn out, he leans more to the comedy side while I’d focus more on the plot, which takes a backseat anyway. Even when I was suggesting Ivy’s Freudian excuse for the way she is back then, he wanted to occasionally take jabs at it, which we’ve done quite a bit I guess you could say. He usually writes the script and I notify him on the changes I think there should be, as some of it is rather insane stuff. I guess I can be a little hurtful sometimes, like when I‘d point out spelling mistakes and using the wrong words, he eventually decided to point out his previous mistakes for laughs and tends to like lampshading almost anything. Occasionally he‘ll hang a lampshade on a lampshade, and he said at one point he’ll try to hang a bigger lampshade on those lampshades.”

“That’s insane!”

“No, just implausible.”

“What about all the references?”

“Well, the other ninja tends to use whatever he finds appealing to mention at the time, or if it just fit’s the theme of the show. Seeing how its rather difficult to create original titles which actually sound decent, we’ll just usually borrow a title and change the words somewhat, even if it doesn’t have much to do with the episode, and even if it does, its normally an affectionate parody, normally.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3DzQ-15c8c&feature=related

Somewhere within that universe, a portal opened up in the middle of a street and the two Ivy’s tumbled out of it, slowly getting to their feet as AU Ivy spoke. “So, its just the two of us.”

“Yeah, though I’m surprised you’re still standing.”

“One stabbing is insignificant to killing a demon like myself.”

“Yeah, I’ve experienced it too at one point.”

“Though I’ve curious how Leo was aware of a nullifying serum, and how he managed to find where it was hidden.” AU Ivy wondered.

“I can answer that. That foolish angel informed me about that important information, so I told Leo to check somewhere I might consider hiding something, since we are one in the same. it’s a rare chance to beat the crap out of myself, and now that you‘ve been stripped of your additional broken powers, I should stand a fair chance of doing so, and I‘ll refrain from using much other than hand-to-hand to make it fair.”

“Fight me fairly? Ha! You don’t stand a chance, kid!”

“We’ll see.” She then though to herself, “Maybe I’ll do what that foolish angel does and convince myself that I must win and hope that attitude helps me to do so.” Rocky IV’s War theme started up as she got into a fighting stance, or Guile’s theme for a more comical effect. Ivy ran at her AU self, missing with several swings as AU Ivy moved back, then she punched her several times in the face over a short while, followed by two jabs. Ivy deflected her next punch and hit her with a backhand, followed by a head butt, knocking them into another portal. They travelled among the various universes during their fight.

In another, the older Ruby was still in a straightjacket, having another session with Ivy who was taking down notes. Ivy clarified what she was told. “So you’re saying you might be able to see into different universes when you sleep, and you recently saw older and younger versions of myself fighting each other?”

“Yes.” Ruby nodded.

“I see.” Ivy said, writing it down.

Ivy and AU Ivy were currently at a park, with AU Ivy getting in more blows as a man sitting on a park bench was quite disappoint, as it looked like a mother beating up their daughter. AU Ivy knocked her down with a punch, where upon Ivy grabbed a bench and hit her round the head, so AU Ivy ripped off half of a tree and did the same. Ivy grabbed a squirrel by a fountain nearby and threw it in her face, followed by the actual fountain. Somewhere else, the two stopped by at opposite sides of a shop counter for a bottle of water, gargled some of it and spat it out in the opposite direction in unison. Soon they were at Omar’s carnival of doom, jumping across the horses on the carousel. After an unexpected roundhouse kick by AU Ivy, Ivy countered shortly with a flash kick, then ripping off and throwing one horse like a sonic boom.

At 2:12, the two of them went around the swimming pool at Amber’s resort on rollerblades, speeding up and slowing down randomly in unison as they did the robot. In the middle of the mall, AU Ivy was on the offense, punching and kicking rapidly while Ivy blocked, waiting for a moment to strike. Ivy taunted her as she waited, and was hit with an uppercut. Ivy barrel rolled out the way as AU Ivy tried to kick her, grabbed a table and hit her with it. In another scene, Ivy waited outside the changing rooms, and as AU Ivy came out wearing a wedding dress, Ivy gave her a thumbs up. They continued their fight down the halls, AU Ivy eventually grabbing and throwing Ivy through a shop glass window and whacking her with the cash register as she tried to get up. Ivy tackled her and after some rolling around, they tumbled down an escalator.

Shortly after, they were at an arcade, dancing to the same song on DDR as the Loli Rangers did the robot in the background. In another scene, they ran around in a steamy sauna, AU Ivy running around naked and trying to whip Ivy with her towel, who threw a bar of soap in her face. In an alleyway, AU Ivy had Ivy cornered and was repeatedly punching her all over as she blocked. When she had an opportunity, Ivy tanked two punches and knocked AU Ivy down with a sweep kick, then leaped onto her with a knee to the stomach before pummelling her in the face for several moments until AU Ivy kicked her off.

The others were still in the apocalyptic future where the last fight took place wondering what to do next. They turned to Damien for his opinion. He shrugged as he said, “Just find them, I guess. Hey, Lolita, do you have a nuke?”

“Of course.” She replied, pulling a large green missile from underneath her longcoat.

“How did she-” Rosie began.

Poison placed a hand on her shoulder as he shook his head. “Try not to think about it, its bad for your health.”

“Yeah but-”

“No!” He slammed his fist on the side of a building, shocking her slightly. He then drew his sword and yelled, “Noooooooo!” As he smashed a window behind him with it.

“Fine, I won’t question it, just calm down…”

Damien loaded the nuke in his nuke launcher he happened to have and fired it at the fortress, blowing it to pieces. After being took some innocent people might’ve still been evacuating, he simply shrugged. “I have this warm feeling inside of me, like I wish to say something about the nuke.” He said, turning to Lolita.

“Is it lo-”

“No! Its not **** love!”

The group then took off to other universes, following the trail of destruction they occasionally witnessed caused by the two Ivy’s. While they ran around, Poison talked with Gary. “Y’know, occasionally when watching some shows, I’ve always noticed this sometimes bland and average guy get so much popularity with women. Sometimes I just gotta wonder, how does he do it, y’know?”

Gary glared at him. “Him? How do you do it, man?”

“Don’t start this again, man. I told you, you’re seeing things which aren’t there, and Lily gets her kicks out of trying to annoy me.”

“Whatever man.”

Ruby then said, “When we find her, it’ll be time to fight, so lets get-” She tried to think of an appropriate line. “Scandalous? Fabulous? Callous?”

“Ruby, just drop it now.” Gary suggested.

They eventually made it to their world, still unable to find the two Ivy’s, so while they were there Poison phoned Loli Black to get additional help. “Hey, Badass-chan.” Poison greeted her. “We need some help in finding Ivy.”

“Where the hell have you guys been? You just kinda disappeared all of a sudden.”

“It was a really long story. Can you help us out?”

“I don’t know, man, we’re rather busy and we’re not even close by.”

“If you hurry I could get you some fried chicken at DFC here across the street.”

“Poison, are you implying that I like fried chicken because I’m black?”

“N-no, that wasn’t my intention! Just forget the help then.”

“Hold on, I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thanks, man.”

“I still want that chicken though.”

“Of course.” He rolled his eyes.

Meanwhile, both Ivy’s arrived in a massive bright orange room. They rolled along a clear gigantic orange platform, there were clocks and other mechanical parts along the orange walls, screens showing various locations throughout the universe, and 23 large orbs around the gigantic room. AU Ivy leaped towards Ivy, who quickly hit her with a raising kick then kicked her again to the ground. She drew her scythe and stabbed her in the stomach, rapidly stabbing her then punching her across the face until her hands were somewhat bloody. She picked up her scythe and began to walk off when AU Ivy suddenly got up, clearly not fit to keep fighting. “What, you’re gonna run away? You’re pathetic!”

“Me? Just look at you, you can barely stand.”

“Excuses. You don’t have what it takes to finish me off.”

“I guess not.” She shrugged. “Just beating you on fair terms is good enough for me. I’m not gonna bother killing you, because you’re just not worth it.”

As she turned to leave, she heard a voice say, “Then allow me.” Leo appeared out of nowhere and ran past AU Ivy as he slit her throat with a sword, making her drop to her knees as she held the wound. “I figured you might show up eventually, so I guess I lucked out.”

“So what’s your deal in all this?” Ivy asked.

“Ahh, right. You wouldn’t know this, but I came from another planet, which was rather peaceful, until this monster landed and decided to kill almost everyone just because she was bored.” Leo said as he kicked AU Ivy, who was still struggling to breath. “I lost everyone. The only reason she kept me around is because she figured she could get some use out of the water elemental abilities I possessed. I was forced to undergo much training from hell to make me who I am today. I despised you, and yet I was fine with my position until the defining opportunity arose to get revenge for my race. So goodbye, master.” He plunged the sword through her forehead and threw her aside.

“Now that you’ve settled things, lets go home.” Ivy said, beginning to walk off.

“I’m afraid I’m not finished yet.” Ivy stopped in her tracks. “I plan to merge the 23 different but parallel universes using a device the Omar of your universe helped create. Hopefully, everything will go back to how it was and we’ll all be better off. I even connected the ports before you arrived.” 

Ivy sighed as she said, “I gotta kill Omar when I get back. Look Leo, this is insane. And you’re actually trusting one of Omar’s inventions you’ve never used. You don’t even know what’ll happen if you merge them all together!”

“It doesn’t hurt to try. Are you going to stop me?”

“Yes, Leo, I am.”

“Very well.” He assumed a fighting stance. He leaped forward, punching the ground and sending out a tidal wave which Ivy flew over and attacked with a kick which he blocked. She accessed the additional small borrowed wind and lightning energy to increase her speed and counter almost all of Leo’s elemental attacks, which soon wore him out as he struggled to keep up. In a moment of desperation, he activated the merger which would take effect in under 5 minutes while injecting himself with the syringe he stabbed AU Ivy with, meaning it was to take a sample of her DNA mixture and use it as a last resort. She knew he had lost it, he knew he could kill. He started to mutate into a large grotesque muscular werewolf covered in blood with bulging veins showing. He raised his head and howled as several large tentacles shot out from his body.

Ivy ran around, avoiding them as she fired and slashed at him, doing little damage as he began to fire large wads of fleshy gum from his mouth at her. She got hit by one, which seemed to grow teeth and tried to eat her, while she held it back. Suddenly, a kunai became lodged in its forehead, making it explode a moment later. Ivy rolled back and to her surprise, she saw multiple versions of herself from other universes. Those versions being Ivy in a black ninja outfit, Ivy in a red pirate outfit, Gangsta Ivy, Bizzaro Ivy who’s her good counterpart, and the perpetually happy Ivy from the messed up universe which scared Gary, and who wears a pink dress to avoid confusion.

“What the-” Ivy said, looking around.

“I can explain.” Bizzaro Ivy said. “I followed you guys here with a remote a friendly scientist I know helped create. Along the way I gathered a group of myself to help. Hopefully with the power of friendship we can beat this threat.”

“You remind me of someone I dislike.”

The others introduced themselves, and were then interrupted as Leo continued attacking. They dodged the attacks and grouped up as Leo howled once more. Ninja Ivy took out a katana, Pirate Ivy drew a machete, Bizzaro Ivy got out her spear, Gangsta Ivy took out two handguns, Happy Ivy equipped a staff, and Ivy twirled her scythe before they all pointed their weapons as the beast. “Lets see him handle six versions of myself!” They all crossed their arms, preparing to laugh. Ninja Ivy went, “Niiiin nin nin nin nin!”, Pirate Ivy went, “Arrrr, arr arr arr arr!”, Bizzaro Ivy went, “Heeeeehehehehe!”, Gangsta Ivy had the same laugh as the original while firing a uzi, and Happy Ivy did a light chuckle.

Leo released miniature versions of his new form from his back which ran at them. Ninja Ivy turned to Pirate Ivy and said, “Are you ready?”

“More than I’ll ever be, me hearty. Let’s send ‘em to Davy Jones Locker!” They ran head-on into the pack of clones. N. Ivy fly kicked one in the face while P. Ivy punched another. N. Ivy then finger poked another at rapid speeds as P. Ivy bitchslapped another with her hat, her red parrot which remained dormant to that point attacking another to her right. N. Ivy hit one with a flash kick, then spun while in midair and throwing a kunai through another’s forehead. At the same time P. Ivy sliced ones head off with her machete then pulled a gun and shot one behind her. As another attacked, P. Ivy chopped off its arm a moment before N. Ivy hit him with an uppercut. P. Ivy stabbed one in the leg and used the creature and whack the others away as she spun in a circle, while N. Ivy in the air knocked out several launching themselves at them with a hurricane kick. As N. Ivy landed they were ready for more.

Gangsta Ivy and Bizzaro Ivy were awed at the display. “Man, look at those two go, bros for life right there.”

Bizzaro Ivy nodded. “Never before have a pirate and ninja worked so well together.”

Ivy and the perpetually happy one were dealing with the real Leo however, as Ivy cut down the overwhelming tentacles while Happy Ivy ran constantly and occasionally helped out. Leo fired another wad of gum which caught Happy Ivy, who screamed for help as it tried to devour her. Gangsta Ivy arrived shortly and blasted it repeatedly as she pulled her out.

“Thank you so much!” Happy Ivy exclaimed as she kissed her.

Gangsta Ivy backed up. “The ****? **** must be crazy! What the hell was that for?”

“That’s how we say thank you in my world.”

“That’s messed up, man. I oughta cap you right now, but I won’t.” She ran off to help distract Leo while Ivy hacked away at random spots on his body.

Over the course of two minutes, the merger was slowly reaching its end with two minutes left, and apart from Happy Ivy who left early, Ninja Ivy, Pirate Ivy, and Bizzaro Ivy were knocked unconscious and Leo’s body continued to grow as the room was starting to come apart as it neared the countdown. Seeing as Gangsta Ivy lost hope, she placed a hand on Ivy’s shoulder. “Hey man, I know we bros and all, but this is too much for me. I’m out of here. Take care of yourself though.” She used a remote laying by to get back to her own universe.

Ivy waited for the upcoming end, as Leo launched several tentacles at her. They were suddenly cut down as Poison, Damien and Gary landed nearby, the others taking their sweet time to walk over.

“So Leo is the final boss, huh? What a twist…” Gary commented as he rushed on.

Poison turned to Ivy and waved as he said, “Yo. By the way, I heard what you said over that walkie-talkie. Oh, and the Loli Rangers couldn‘t make it after all…”

“Well its not like I said it to look tough and because you regularly insult me…”

“Well its not like I insult you because I like you…”

“Well its not like I consider you a lowly servant which I own so you’ll never leave me…”

“Well its not like I continue to live at your house because I like being around you guys…”

Ivy looked away as she said, “Jerk.”

Poison looked away as he said, “****.”

“Baka.”

“Moron.”

“Stupid-face.”

“Idiot-head.”

After a moment of silence, she then quietly said, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He replied quietly.

The others had ignored them as this was going on and were currently attacking Leo, while helping out each other when they were on the verge of death. Ivy and Poison joined in, but regardless of numbers, it was pointless to finish Leo for good. Most of them managed to stall Leo for a while as Ivy and Damien worked on stopping the merger, managing to do so with 42 seconds left. Damien then took out a nuke cannon while Lolita drew a rocket launcher, and fired it at Leo, just before opening up a portal and running for the exit as it went off. They soon ended up back in their own universe on a corner of a street.

“I guess everything’s rapped up now.” Rosie said as she got up. “I real shame about Leo though, I’m really gonna miss him…”

“I think we all will.” Poison replied.

“This shouldn’t have even happened, but Gary technically caused it in the first place.” Ivy replied.

“Well I wouldn’t have drawn them here if it wasn’t because of Ruby getting me there in the first place!” He replied.

“Well I wouldn’t have made you accompany me if Omar hadn’t tried to mess with the aspect of universal travel!” Ruby exclaimed.

“As usual, it leads back to Omar.” Ivy said with a nod.

“So what’s the moral of this story?” Ruby wondered.

“This isn’t gonna be another one of those fake aesops, is it?” Poison asked.

“I think the moral is: Science is bad.” Crystal suggested.

“I think its: Treat others how you’d like to be treated.” Amber said.

“Nah, its gotta be: Life sucks, so do what you feel like.” Damien said.

“I think the moral is this,” Lolita began. “Don’t bully people who could  brutally kill you if they were to snap.” Everyone agreed to varying amounts, while Ivy was somewhat confused at what they were talking about.

“Anyway,” Ivy began, turning to Ruby. “I’ll probably be bringing some robots and destroying some places downtown tomorrow.”

“Alright, I should be there to try and stop you. What time?”

“1pm alright with you?”

“Yeah, that should be fine.”

“Alright, see you tomorrow.” Ivy and Poison walked off, waving goodbye to Ruby and the others as they went their own separate ways for the day. “Now, we’ve got a number of different things to do before going home. First, we pay Omar a visit and break his arms for doing all this in the first place.”

“He’s been asking for it for quite a while.”

“Next, lets go visit one of those other planets till we find Leo’s race. If he existed in that timeline, he should exist here too, we just have to find him.”

“But he most likely won’t be the same Leo we met.”

“We’ll help him out a little, constructively.”

“Is the third thing talking with Willard? Because I already spoke with him. He said he had no idea why he’d set out to do harm, and that it seemed unnecessary, so I wonder if that other Ruby was lying about that…”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

After a period of silence, Poison then said, “Wanna piggyback ride?”

“Sure, why not.” She hopped on his back and they took off.

And so, it was a happy end, except for half the earth out there, since most of the cast aren’t good people and tend to kill others on a regular basis, but happy in a black comedy sort of way. They eventually did find the Leo of their universe, who was quite a wimp but with enough forced training started to resemble the type of person they once knew. He remained on his planet but they visited once in a while. Damien and Lolita eventually got married, though everyone was forcing Damien to hook up with her regardless of what he had to say. Ninja Ivy returned to her spiritual land to continue more hardened training with SA2, Pirate Ivy continued her ship-to-ship combat with Ruby, Gangsta Ivy sat round a living room with others telling them her recent adventure, Bizarro Ivy didn’t seem to remember much of the event, and Happy Ivy wasn’t so happy after experiencing that event. The older Ruby of another world eventually got better and soon checked out of the insane asylum, actually deciding to start a friendship with Ivy shortly after. And Ivy and Poison continued their ridiculous and nonsensical adventures with their friends.

[Marie Rose]

TMEDCE: Chapter 41 - Another **** Chapter?

There isn't one.

The End