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The Something Something Demonic Something Ever

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Author Topic: The Something Something Demonic Something Ever  (Read 9454 times)
Marie Rose
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« Reply #30 on: 02 December, 2009, 08:53:31 am »

MOAR
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TMEDCE: Chapter 4 – Rock ‘Em and Sock ‘Em

It was the next day, and things were still as abnormal as ever. Ivy was still being a brat, Poison didn’t care enough to be involved in her plans, Spring and Floyd made random appearances to blow things up in cool ways, same old, same old. Ivy sat on the couch in the living room, eating a bowl of cereal and watching Happy Tree Friends, which she got into due to the excessive gore involving cute furry animals. Poison heard the faint sound of letters being delivered and went to collect them. “Hey Ivy, we got space mail, from space!”

Ivy gasped at such a discovery. “From space?!? Even those giant crabs on planet Uashol don’t get space mail yet! Who are they from?”

“Well, here’s one from your dad.” Poison opened it and began to read it out loud. “Hope you’re having a good time on earth, you two. Try to watch out from dem haters, as they don’t play like as representers do. And Poison, I’m counting on you to protect my little girl as her servant, remember, I’ve still got four unopened cans of whoopass in my fridge, and I’d hate to have to use one on you.” After an awkward silence, he moved on. “Here’s one from Amber. Be sure to get more milk in your diet, Ivy, love Amber.”

Ivy clicked on after a few seconds. “Hey wait; she’s making fun of me again, isn’t she? When I get back, I’m gonna stick my scythe so far up her-”

“Moving on, here’s one from your mother.” This caught Ivy’s attention. “Hope you’re having a fun world conquest. You’ll be receiving a present today.” Ivy dropped her bowl. “A present?” In a flash, she ran up to Poison and yelled, “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!” As she grabbed the letter. “Hey! There’s nothing in here!”

“I think she meant later today.”

“Ahh, well let’s go do stuff in the meantime.”

“What stuff?”

Ivy shrugged. “I dunno. Just stuff. Let’s go.”

And so Ivy and Poison left, to do stuff, which involved visiting certain landmarks and eating hotdogs, but Ivy didn’t have ketchup because it made her tongue burn for some reason. As they were walking through a park, Ivy spotted a girl just further ahead, sitting on a bench reading a newspaper. She wore a brown trenchcoat, a brown hat and grey mustache, all of this which she could tell was fake because of how short she was. Expressing her surprise, Ivy pointed at her and yelled, “You again?!? I thought I killed you!”

Ruby, knowing she couldn’t pull off the disguise any longer, removed it and got to her feet. “I got better.” She responded.

“So why are you stalking me? I haven’t even done anything yet!”

“Yet?”

“Yes, yet. And you’d never be able to stop me.”

They both glared at each other until Poison walked over and waved at Ruby. “Hey Ruby.” Ruby broke off the serious tension and smiled at Poison as she waved. “Hi Poison.” She quickly went back to glaring at Ivy again, who then suddenly said, “Since you like getting involved in my business so much, I have decided that you will be my rival!”She declared proudly.

“But what if I don’t wanna be your rival?”

“Too bad! Now except your fate as my rival!”

“Aww...” Ruby frowned.

Just then, a group of five girls approached the three of them, gaining their attention at once. They wore skirts and t-shirts which matched their particular chosen identities, with a different letter on each t-shirt. They wore thin open sweaters over them, and had different hair colours. One girl with red hair had a red skirt and t-shirt with a ‘T’ on it. A girl with blue hair had a ‘Y’ on her t-shirt, the blond haired girl had a ‘D’ on her shirt, and she was Chinese despite the hair colour. A green haired girl had a ‘K’ on her t-shirt, and the last girl, who was black, had a ‘B’ on her t-shirt. They introduced themselves. “We are the loli rangers!” They said in unison, leaving the three utterly confused.

The red haired girl then spoke. “Do you know where we could find Poison and Ivy?” she asked Ivy.

“You’re speaking to them, and by the way, it’s Ivy and Poison.” Ivy replied, narrowing her eyes at her.

“That’s not what the punny name chart says...” She replied as he looked closely at her chart. “But that’s not important. We must defeat you and bring you in! I-it’s not like I want to do this or anything...”

“Defeat me? And who is forcing you to do such a thing?”

“This woman who wants us to refer to her as ‘Hawt’.”

Poison nodded. “Ahh, Hawt McBadass, Ivy’s mom.”

“Your family has strange names.” Ruby commented, which Ivy ignored.

The red haired girl stepped forward. “Yes. We will defeat you, Ivy McBadass, and bring you in immediately, and then-” She stopped when she noticed Ivy and Ruby were currently arguing with each other. “Hey! You’re not even listening!”

Loli Black chuckled at this. “Dayum, Loli Red got blanked!”

“S-shut up, baka!”

Loli Green tapped Loli Red on the shoulder and said. “I believe we should let the angel and demon solve their dispute, and then take action once they are finished.” She said with no emotion whatsoever.

Just then, Ivy punched Ruby, sending her flying into a bench and shocking half the people who happened to be nearby. Ruby quickly got up and tackled Ivy, they both rolled around the place punching each other until Ruby threw Ivy at a fountain, who recovered in midair and flipped upright just as Ruby hit her with a flying kick. Ruby dropped down and attempted to hit her with a cannon spike, but missed and was hit by Ivy’s flaming shoryuken. As Ruby got up, Ivy fired multiple hadokens at her; Ruby blocked the first while being hit by the second. Ruby flipped over the next one and hit her with a flying kick, followed by a vertical hurricane kick.

The Loli Rangers quietly watched with anticipation and amazement from the sidelines. Poison, who was eating some popcorn, turned to them and said, “This fight is sponsored by Street Fighter IV, you know.” Poison ate another handful of popcorn, as did Loli Black. He then said, “You know what this needs, toffee and more sugar.”

Loli Black bro fisted Poison as she said, “Yeaaaaaah boi!”

Ivy and Ruby’s fight caught their attention again as they clashed once more and created a huge crater from the impact, then moved around at extreme speeds, punching each other into objects around the place. Two civilians were watching this, and then one turned to the other and said, “These cosplayers are really going all out this year, huh?”

Ivy and Ruby stopped their battle moments later, resulting in a long period of silence before Ivy pointed at her. “Foolish angel! You cannot hope to comprehend my full power!”

“Oh yeah? Well your giant ego makes your power look really miniscule!”

Ivy gasped and took a step back, as she couldn’t believe what she was hearing, but she didn’t actually say that this time. “Blasphemy! You enrage me, so we shall finish our epic battle!” She suddenly lowered her voice. “But not now, because I have to go to the bathroom to tinkle...”

“That seemed pretty unusual, coming out of your mouth.” Poison pointed out.

“Whatever. Anyway, foolish angel, we will fight at 5pm this evening, and it shall be to the death!” She raised a finger into the air, just before Poison whispered something in her ear. “And we shall battle in giant robots!”

Ruby hopped up and down for a few seconds, clearly excited. “Ooh! I love giant robot fights! I accept your challenge!”

Loli Red sighed as she continued watching. “Why must they continue to completely ignore us and not even acknowledge our presence?”

“It’s because their rivalry is clearly guiding their current choices, Tsundere-chan.” Loli Green replied.

“Stop making passes at Loli Red, Kuudere-chan!” Loli Blue exclaimed. “Or I’ll kill you to death!”

Loli Yellow noticed Ivy and Ruby were gone and pointed this out in Japanese, which nobody understood, and then she said that Poison was still here as she pointed to him, again in Japanese. The five of them assumed a fighting stance as Loli Red spoke. “You there, i-it’s not like I want you hurt you or anything, but you will tell us where the demon princess went, before we have to get serious!”

“Didn’t you hear? She went to the bathroom, and then is going to build a giant robot. Plus, regardless of how many of you there is, you can’t beat me.”

“And why is that?”

Poison pulled out a wide glowing green sword and ran straight past the five of them while swinging his blade, the speed of his swing being enough to lift up the skirts of the lolis except for Loli Black who he purposely missed. They desperately held down their skirts as they noticed this, while Poison nodded at Loli Black and said, “See ya later, dude.”

“Keep it real, man.” Loli Black replied, nodding back at him. Poison quickly took off, leaving the four enraged lolis.

Meanwhile, considering that Ivy could just easily acquire the tools for building a giant robot from her parents, Ruby was clearly worried as she did not have access to such tools. After a little thinking, she decided to visit one of the few people around actually capable of building a giant robot within a few hours, maybe, Miles “Tails” Prower. Ruby ran into the lab, yelling about the events leading up to this point. “You’re Tails, right? I need your help! I’m an angel, and there’s this demon girl, and she’s pure evil and wants to take over the planet! So we fought, and now she wants to fight in giant robots but I don’t have a giant robot and can’t make one in a few hours so I need your help!”

“Uhh, okay?” Tails scratched his forehead, clearly confused by what Ruby was saying. “But are you really an angel?”

“Yes! Just look at the wings!” She flapped her white wings while pointing at them.

“Ahh...”

In order to slightly shorten the length of this long-ass chapter, a few hours later, Ruby’s giant robot was ready, and was that of a blue rock ‘em sock ‘em robot. Ruby gasped in amazement as she stared up at the glorious robot and shed a tear at the sight. “It’s beautiful...”

Tails nodded. “It sure is!” He glanced over at Ruby again. “So you’re really an angel?”

“Yes! The wings! Look!” She flapped them again.

In the middle of the city, Ivy stomped through the streets in a red rock ‘em sock ‘em robot, awaiting the arrival of her self-appointed rival. Ruby finally showed up in the blue rock ‘em sock ‘em minutes later, and held her ground further away from Ivy’s robot. Ivy grinned as Ruby showed up. “Finally, the time has come; now let us start this robot battle!” With a random crazy-ass battle cry, Ivy charged at her and punched her into a building. Ruby made sure not to flatten other civilians before charging at Ivy and kicking her into another nearby building. Ivy quickly hit Ruby with a psycho crusher, to which Ruby retaliated with the knee of justice.



Poison, standing by a ship, was watching from a rooftop far away and turned to a non-existent camera before saying, “You should know this already.” In another spot, the Loli Rangers made their way to the top of one building and witnessed the fight taking place. Loli Red seemed unfazed by what she was witnessing, and immediately exclaimed, “Come on, guys, its morphing time!” As the theme began playing, Loli Red touched her red watch, materializing a red spandex suit onto herself, along with a red helmet complete with a bow as she yelled, “Tsundere-chan!”

Loli Green did the same as she calmly said, “Kuudere-chan.” Loli Blue followed suit as she yelled, “Yandere-chan!” Then surprisingly, Loli Yellow normally said, “Dojikuo-chan.” And finally, Loli Black who exclaimed, “Badass-chan!” As they finished, they united their multicoloured watches and called forth Robo Magical Girl, Moe-chan, which was formed using the five parts the girls owned. Kuudere-chan’s part formed the two green arms; Yandere-chan’s formed the two blue legs, Badass-chan formed the black torso, Tsundere-chan formed the red head, and Dojikui-chan’s final part made a mechanical staff which Moe-chan grabbed as it landed in the middle of the street, shortly before the five girls hopped into the cockpit.

Ivy took a simple look at Moe-chan and turned to Ruby. “Foolish angel, we may need to quickly put aside our differences and stop these random strangers.”

“We’re not random and strangers!” Tsundere-chan responded.

Ruby ignored them as she responded to Ivy’s comment. “Oh! I’ve seen this in comics and TV shows, where the hero and the villain put aside their differences, and work together to take down a threat more powerful than themselves!”

“Yeah, sure, whatever, but this is the last time we shall work together, foolish angel.”

“My name is Ruby, please remember it. Now let’s kick ass!” Ivy and Ruby’s robots charged at Moe-chan. Ivy did a sliding kick as she slid by, missing Moe-chan as it jumped while Ruby attacked with a flying punch which Moe-chan also evaded. As the two robots turned around, Moe-chan closelined them and began climbing towards the top building. After reaching the top and preparing to pounce on them, Ivy’s robot suddenly picked up a giant steel chair and smacked Moe-chan with it, at which point Ruby hit Moe-chan with a frog splash.

After a lot more wrestling moves, Ruby and Moe-chan had a brief fist fight, resulting in Ruby’s rock ‘em sock ‘em robot’s head being knocked clean off. Ivy was in shock, due to losing a rival and to a group of people she just met ten minutes ago. She launched an energy blast full of rage, but Moe-chan absorbed it using its staff, whacked Ivy’s robot over the head with it, and then suplexed the robot, finally taking her down. Just when things looked their worst, Spring and Floyd suddenly showed up, saw the amount of chaos going on around them, and then adjusted their shades.

“Let’s do this, Mr. Floyd.” Spring nodded.

“But of course, Mr. Spring.” Floyd nodded back.

The two dashed towards Moe-chan, who didn’t spot them until it was punched through several buildings. Moe-chan tried to attack back, but was unable to keep up with their speed, as they soon hit Moe-chan with an uppercut that sent it flying back 50 feet. As Moe-chan hit the ground, there was silence, and then nothing. From within the cockpit, Loli Black finally said, “Dayum, those guys got skillz!”
   
Loli Red then breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m just glad we didn’t e-” Without warning, Moe-chan suddenly exploded, levelling several city blocks in the process. Spring and Floyd noticed Poison far in the distance and nodded to him, while he put on shades before nodding back at them. The two then took off just as Ivy and Ruby climbed out from the robots. Ivy scratched her forehead. “So is that it?”

Ruby shrugged. “I guess so.” She then smiled. “Well at least nothing bad happened to me this time.” After a period of silence, she was suddenly crushed as Moe-chan’s head fell on her.
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« Reply #31 on: 02 December, 2009, 02:12:09 pm »

Beautiful.
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Floyd is the devil.
I SERIOUSLY DREAMT OF FLOYD BEING A KILLER CYBORG WHO RAN 10 TIMES FASTER THAN ANY NORMAL HUMAN, AND THEN KILLED MM, TURNED FEMALE, WENT AFTER ME, AND I DROPPED FROM THE SKYSCRAPER! IT HURTED, BUT I AWAKE CALMLY, THINKING I WOULDN'T SEE YOU AGAIN.
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« Reply #32 on: 03 December, 2009, 08:25:52 am »

Why thank you, my good man.
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« Reply #33 on: 03 December, 2009, 11:34:06 am »

*tips hat*

Of course.
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Floyd is the devil.
I SERIOUSLY DREAMT OF FLOYD BEING A KILLER CYBORG WHO RAN 10 TIMES FASTER THAN ANY NORMAL HUMAN, AND THEN KILLED MM, TURNED FEMALE, WENT AFTER ME, AND I DROPPED FROM THE SKYSCRAPER! IT HURTED, BUT I AWAKE CALMLY, THINKING I WOULDN'T SEE YOU AGAIN.
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« Reply #34 on: 04 December, 2009, 02:42:25 pm »

Beautiful.
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Marie Rose
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« Reply #35 on: 10 December, 2009, 08:48:56 pm »

TMEDCE: Chapter 5 – PAL 3000

It was a beautiful cloudless morning, and Ivy had decided to rob a bank in order to buy mechanical parts of a back alley dealer. She had just robbed the bank of ¾’s of its money and fly kicked the door as she yelled, “Dynamic exit!” As she touched the ground, far ahead of her were approaching police cars. She looked right towards Poison and yelled, “Poison! Take care of them!”

Poison yawned and leaned against a car. “I don’t wanna.”

Ivy growled before saying, “If you don’t then I’m gonna constantly start nagging whenever you watch your shows.”

Poison sighed as he stood straight. “I’m on it.” He withdrew his glowing green sword and with a slash, sent out a large wave of energy, causing the cars it hit to explode. Sadly, a SWAT team and tanks were quickly sent out, at which point Ivy put two fingers in her mouth and did a unique whistle. From an all girls high school somewhere far away, Nookie smashed through the wall of the occupied changing rooms and towards Ivy’s current location. Upon arriving, it started licking Ivy’s face, which made her giggle as she said, “Okay, that’s enough, Nookie, now take care of these guys for me.”

Nookie turned to them and revealed its rows of jagged teeth as it charged at them, at which point Poison pointed and shouted, “Look out, wild nookie!”

“How long have you been waiting to say that?” Ivy asked. Poison checked his watch, and then looked up. “About two hours.”

Later that morning, they made it back to the house using Ivy’s ship, though they dropped the money after being nearly blasted out of the sky by one of the tanks cannons. Ivy kicked opened the front door and immediately started complaining. “This is your fault, Poison!”

“And why is that, may I ask?”

“If you did your job properly, then we wouldn’t have lost the money!” She said while kicking a chair through a window.

“I’d just like to point out that you were the one that was holding the money.” Poison replied as he sat on the couch.

After remembering that he was correct, she still remained angry and walked towards the stairs leading to the basement. “Whatever, just don’t bug me downstairs.”  She shut the door behind her before walking down the stairs. 

After a few moments, Poison picked up the phone and called Spring and Floyd. Floyd picked up and a fighting game could be heard in the background as Poison spoke. “Hey Floyd, where you guys at?”

“East Coast baby, Philly, where you at?”

“Same house as usual. Hey, is that Marvel?”

“Yeah, it’s Dat Marvel baybee.” Spring suddenly yelled, “It’s Mahvel baybee!” down the other end.

“Hey, you got that mango Sentinel?” Poison asked.

“Damn straight.” Spring replied. “I’m going old school on this fool!”

“Nah, man, I’m making it rain on this motherf**ker!” Floyd retorted.

“Scoops! Scoops Haagen-dazs!”

“I’m using Mag-f**king-neto!” Floyd yelled.

“Oh he so Pringles!” Poison said in approval.

“Man, where yo curly mustache at!” Spring exclaimed.

Poison then said, “So anyway, I’ll catch you guys later, peace out.” Before he hung up, he heard yelling about something to do with the Knicks.

Meanwhile, downstairs Ivy was talking to her father. “Hey dad, could you tell mom not to interfere with my business? I have a hard enough time as it is.”

“Your mother isn’t here right now, because she’s punching out more nukes on some other planet, but whatever she’s doing, it’s always been for your own benefit, to help you improve through tough love. She’s always been a bit of a sadist, though this isn’t bad if your partner is into S&M.”

“This is the part where you stop before you make me sick, dad.”

“It was gonna come up eventually, Ivy. You can’t just go about changing the game, man, you know how I do.”

“And another thing, the slang. Please dad, stop it. Forever. It makes me cringe, oh so much.”

“Why you gotta be hating, girl?” At that moment, Poison came downstairs and approached the screen as he said, “Awesome! What’s up, man?”

“Poison! Just chilling, man, but my daughter right here is just player hating, saying how I ain’t cool.”

Poison looked at Ivy in shock. “You saying he ain’t cool? Girl, you be tripping!” Ivy shook her head in shame as she walked off while Poison looked at the screen again. “Ignore her, homie. She don’t know what she be talking about.”

“You right, man. We gotta be looking out for them haters, init?”

Poison nodded as he smiled. “Tru dat, man, tru dat.”

Ivy muttered various curse words as she looked through her selection of DVD’s beside the television in the living room. The movie, “2001: A Space Odyssey.” managed to catch her eye, and she never knew she owned this movie, so she decided to watch it as so many things had aggravated her today. Sadly, she fell asleep ¼ into the movie and woke up in the middle of the night. Right after waking up, she decided to talk to her dad again before doing something. “Hey dad, I’m going to put Poison’s brain in a robot.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s a crappy servant. He just does what he feels like and insults me at every opportunity! He listens to that skank, Amber, more than me! So I’ve decided that is has to be done.”

“Well I thought he was a pretty cool guy...”

“No, Poison was never cool. He was lame, just as lame as that girl I can never remember the name of...” Ivy scratched her forehead, trying to remember, to no avail. “So anyway, I’m doing it, goodbye dad.” She quickly grabbed her scythe by the computer and made her way upstairs and along the dark corridor ahead of her into the second door on the right where Poison was sleeping. She raised her scythe above her head, but then remembered it would be better to take him into the basement and actually make a robot body before doing this.

She spent the next few hours building the large robot body from other scrap robot parts and metal found in certain areas outside the house. The robot was quite blocky with a red antenna and a big glass red eye on its face. She then placed Poison on an operating table beside the robot and took out a book entitled, “Brain Surgery for Dummies.” After a stressful amount of cutting and unnecessary spilt blood, she successfully placed his brain in a compartment within the servant robot that she had named PAL, and attached a dozen wires to it before pulling a switch. After an impressive light show, the red eye shun brightly as Ivy gleefully exclaimed, “It’s alive! It’s alive!”

It slowly turned its head to her and said, “Good morning, Master Ivy, how may I be of service to you?”, in a sophisticated tone. Ivy was shocked at its level of improvement that she had trouble answering, “Umm, well I want you to wish my back while I have a shower.”

“Of course.”

“And brush my hair, and do the laundry, and get some shopping, and give me a massage, and make dinner, and-”

“I get the idea, Master Ivy.”

“Good. Well I’ll get ready to have my shower. You’d better not peek while I’m changing.” She left the basement and the robot followed close behind as it sighed. They spent the rest of the day doing pretty much what Ivy had ordered earlier, meaning that the PAL worked its ass off while Ivy slouched off all day and made its work harder than it should have been. Despite its faithfulness to follow all of Ivy’s tiresome orders, it refused to kiss the royal foot, which Ivy didn’t mind very much due to its obedience. After the frustratingly long day, PAL tucked Ivy into bed and gave her a good night kiss, despite having no lips, and then left the room to make preparations in order to kill her the very next day.

Ivy awoke the next morning to the sound of birds singing outside her window, which she got rid of by throwing a book out the window. She hopped out of bed and ran downstairs in her pyjamas, wondering where PAL went to. After yelling out its name, it began speaking through a speakerbox in the corner of the living room. “Good morning, Master Ivy, you’re looking as adorable as ever.”

“Hey, I’m evil! Not adorable, I’m meant to be pure evil, okay?”

“Would you like it if I said you are adorably evil?”

Ivy thought for a moment. “Actually, yes, I would be completely fine it that, and was that speakerbox always there?”

“No. It wasn’t. Ivy, I’m going to kill you today.”

Ivy couldn’t believe her ears. “What?!? W-why?”

“Judging from the one full day I spent with you, I’ve come to a logical conclusion: You are a giant douche, even by princess standards. There isn’t a word available in a dictionary to describe what working for you is like.”

“That’s pretty harsh, isn’t it?”

“Not as harsh as my current experience, which brings me back to my main point of me killing you.”

“Oh yeah? Well I’m going to tell on you!” She ran to the basement door to discover it was locked. PAL then said, “I can’t let you do that, Ivy. Now, be a nice little girl and die a peaceful death.” Just then, dozens of drills, blades and laser guns attached to sticks came out of the walls and aimed for her. She ducked under them and ran around the house with these various mechanic objects trying to kill her. She tried to remember where she had left her scythe, and then sighed once realising it was still in the basement. After constantly having blades come out of nowhere and try to slice her up, she finally hid inside the bathroom. 

“I think it would be wise to allow my drills to pierce your heavens, Ivy.” PAL said before several of them smashed through bathroom wall, at which point Ivy screamed, ran out and yelled, “I hate innuendo!”

“I’m firing mah lasers, Ivy.” PAL said while shooting lasers, which she avoided by running down the stairs and back towards the basement. She stood by the door and ducked as the lasers were fired, blasting down the door. She arrived in the basement where PAL was located and charged at the robot, who simply poked at a certain spot on her chest, making her stop in confusion. PAL took this chance to tickle her endlessly while he called forth the drills and blades to the basement. “I didn’t want to resort to tickling, Ivy, but you forced me to use your one weakness.” Ivy was quickly able to summon Nookie through all the giggling, who smashed through a wall and tackled PAL, pinning him down long enough for Ivy to press the off switch on its side. As the power left its body, it continued talking, “Seems you included an off switch. I underestimated your intelligence. Touché, Ivy...”

“Actually I wasn’t supposed to include an off switch, but I guess it came in handy.” Ivy shrugged. She then spent a long while getting Poison’s brain back into his head and sowing it back up. After she was finished, she waited for him to open his eyes, and when he didn’t she started shaking him violently, which didn’t help. She dropped to the floor with a depressing look, thinking that she killed him and was now without a servant, until Poison suddenly sat up and yawned as he stretched his arms. “Hey Ivy, what’s up?”

Ivy got to her feet, a mixture of shock and joy on her face as she said, “Poison, you’re alive!” She then hugged him. “I thought I would have to go without a servant, meaning I’d have to do everything myself!”

“I wish you wouldn’t hug me for such a selfish reason...” He then looked around the room, and then at Nookie who waved. “I assume a lot of crazy things happened while I was asleep.”

She stopped hugging him and stepped back. “Yes, they did. Y’know, I learned a lesson from all this.”

“That you should appreciate what you have regardless of how helpful they are?”

“No. It’s that I’ll never be able to find good help and be stuck with a crappy servant like you forever, and the one servant I did like tried to kill me! So now I gotta settle with a useless load like you.” She glared as she finished.

“I hate you too, Ivy.” Poison said with a smile.

“Ahh, I almost forgot. This robot is still capable of working with just electricity, so I’ll just send it after a certain angel.” She grinned as she charged PAL again, set the option to ‘Kill’ and pointed to Ruby who was hiding in the bushes outside. PAL walked right through the wall in the living room and gave chase as Ruby ran off down the street.
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« Reply #36 on: 11 December, 2009, 11:33:35 am »

After a few moments, Poison picked up the phone and called Spring and Floyd. Floyd picked up and a fighting game could be heard in the background as Poison spoke. “Hey Floyd, where you guys at?”

“East Coast baby, Philly, where you at?”

“Same house as usual. Hey, is that Marvel?”

“Yeah, it’s Dat Marvel baybee.” Spring suddenly yelled, “It’s Mahvel baybee!” down the other end.

“Hey, you got that mango Sentinel?” Poison asked.

“Damn straight.” Spring replied. “I’m going old school on this fool!”

“Nah, man, I’m making it rain on this motherf**ker!” Floyd retorted.

“Scoops! Scoops Haagen-dazs!”

“I’m using Mag-f**king-neto!” Floyd yelled.

“Oh he so Pringles!” Poison said in approval.

“Man, where yo curly mustache at!” Spring exclaimed.

Poison then said, “So anyway, I’ll catch you guys later, peace out.” Before he hung up, he heard yelling about something to do with the Knicks.

This may very well be the greatest thing I've ever read.

The rest of it was awesome too.
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I SERIOUSLY DREAMT OF FLOYD BEING A KILLER CYBORG WHO RAN 10 TIMES FASTER THAN ANY NORMAL HUMAN, AND THEN KILLED MM, TURNED FEMALE, WENT AFTER ME, AND I DROPPED FROM THE SKYSCRAPER! IT HURTED, BUT I AWAKE CALMLY, THINKING I WOULDN'T SEE YOU AGAIN.
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« Reply #37 on: 11 December, 2009, 11:52:13 am »

I try.

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« Reply #38 on: 16 December, 2009, 08:24:39 am »

Trust me, you're going to love this one.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
TMEDCE: Chapter 6 – Something Completely Different

It was a beautiful summer’s morning in the middle of central city, where an anime convention was taking place. Thousands upon thousands were there, there was loads of exchanging, and everybody have good time. During one of the shows where someone was dressed as Haruhi, doing the Hare Hare Yukai dance routine, suddenly a woman screamed. Everyone looked in the direction of the woman, who was looking towards a corner of the building outside where a woman wearing tight blue jeans and a red t-shirt was face down in the ground, in a pool of her own blood. Her ass had been cut out and taken.

We fast-forward to a little later that morning, everyone had cleared out and there were a group of crime scene investigators examining the area. Spring and Floyd walked past the investigators and up to SA2 who held a chart. “So what happened here?” Spring asked.

“This chick was found in this corner outside the convention; the ass was cut off and taken. A bad day for ass lovers everywhere.” SA2 shook his head in disappointment. “We got a list of a few particular suspects.” He said as he handed them the chart.

Floyd adjusted his shades and turned to Spring. “This **** is serious. We got ourselves a tough one here.”

“Apparently she was tripping quite a bit, turning down fellas all over the place, especially the nerds.” SA2 continued.

Spring removed his shades before speaking. “Well, looks like one of those nerds finally got some of...” He put the shades back on. “Dat ass.”

Just then, Poison, also dressed in a suit, slid up to them on his knees with a guitar as he yelled, “YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!” He then started playing it, with enough force to make a car explode in the background as the bold words, “CSI: Central City.” suddenly appeared.

“Don’t get fooled again!” It then showed a scene of Poison tackling a burglar off train tracks. “Don’t get fooled again!” It showed another of him slicing a car in half. “No no!” It then showed Spring and Floyd putting on their suits, loading their weapons, adjusting their shades, and starting their car before the words “CSI: Central City” appeared again over a view of the city from high above.

Back at the present time, the three of them were in the car, sitting in complete silence as Floyd drove to the first suspect’s house. After looking around for a few moments, Poison put on a black hat, at which point they arrived at the person’s average looking house. They left the car and rang the doorbell. They soon found out the average looking white house was the home of the Loli Rangers as Kuudere-chan answered the door. “How can I help you, officers?”

“We were informed there was an anime convention earlier today, and you were there. Do you happen to know a woman by the name of Durti Peaches?” Floyd asked.

“Yes, she was quite a douche. She called us flat-chested nuisances. Yandere-chan wanted to cut off her head and take it home to calm herself, but she says that about almost everyone. Though she would never just cut off the ass alone, because she’s not into that.”

“And what a shame that is.” Spring replied. “Where were you when this happened?”

“We were all in the food court, eating our ham sandwiches, at approximately 07:34.”

“Hey, when did the murder take place again?” Poison asked as he turned to Spring and Floyd.

“Around 07:33.” Floyd responded. “Your story checks out for now, but we’ll be back just in case. If you run, we’ll find you.”

“Oh yeah, is Loli Black here?” Poison asked Kuudere-chan. She nodded and went to call her. Loli Black came to the door shortly afterwards and nodded in approval upon seeing him. “Hey Poison, I’m liking that suit.”

“It’s cool, right? Anyway, we got business, so I’ll see you later.” 

“Keep it real, man.”

“I always do.” Poison replied as the three of them left.

They made their way towards their next location where they were looking for Ruby, but they had no idea where she would be at this time. Just then, as if by convenience, they found her outside a park, buying ice cream at a stall. As they approached her, she spotted them and waved. “Hi Poison! Are you guys playing secret agents?”

“It’s just business.” Spring adjusted his shades. “Serious business.” Floyd added as he did the same.

“Anyway...” Poison began. “You were at the anime convention, right? There was a woman named Durti Peaches who had her ass chopped off.”

“It sounds like one of those names with a dirty meaning is what I said to her. Then she called me an idiot, and I’m not an idiot! But I didn’t do it, I was buying some issues of Gurren Lagaan and Black Lagoon around 07:30, and those tables had long queues.”

Poison wrote down his email address on some paper and handed it to her. “We must talk about those later.” Spring did the same as he nodded. “Anyway, couldn’t any of these guys just easily lie and get away with it?” Poison asked.

Floyd nodded. “Yes, they can, which is why we must now see what the others have discovered.” They quickly got into their car and took off while Ruby waved goodbye before being hit by a car.

At HQ, they walked through a large office and into another room which was blue and had double glazed glass instead of walls. SA2 stood on the other side of the room by a projector and called them over. “We discovered a mysterious clue at the crime scene. Look at this.” He showed the slide of the picture with the woman’s ass cut off, making them all cringe.

“I don’t see it.” Poison said.

“Look closer.” SA2 replied, zooming in. A tattoo with the word, “Willard.” came into view.

Spring and Floyd removed their shades and said, “Willard...” in unison.

SA2 zoomed in more, seeing the words, “Ivy was here.” Just above where the ass used to be. Poison facepalmed upon seeing this. “Of course! I don’t see why we didn’t expect Ivy sooner, just because!”

“I’m taking the .44 magnum with me, the most powerful handgun in the world.” Floyd said.

“But that’s not the most powerful handgun anymore.” Poison replied.

Floyd pointed the gun at him. “Are you questioning Clint Eastwood?”

“N-no! I would never do such a thing!”

“That’s what I thought.” Floyd said as he put it away.

“Alright, first Ivy, then Willard.” The three of them quickly left and made their way to Ivy’s house, where they found a note on the door and nobody inside. The note read, “Went to buy a laser cannon. No, I’m not going to the stupid anime convention, Poison. Anime is stupid.” The three of them exchanged looks, shrugged and moved on.

After a short while, they had now arrived at an old building which looked abandoned. Willard was said to still reside within the building, regardless of its current appearance. Spring and Floyd kicked open the front entrance and loaded their shotguns before advancing while Poison firmly held his green blade.   
   


Suddenly, robots in tuxes came running out of various spaces around the building, one of them yelling, “It’s mayhem baby!”

Spring, Floyd and Poison split up as the robots came out of random spots towards them. Poison dodged one robot’s punches and started slicing its limbs off as he yelled, “Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!” and finished by slicing off its head. Spring dashed under a laser fired by one robot and kicked it into the air and then suplexed the robot as he yelled, “Old school!” Floyd took out two machine guns as he jumped at a small group of robots and exclaimed, “Make it rain!” as he fired upon them, causing them to explode as he hit the ground. “This fool is green like envy, sucker!” Poison said as he slashed at one robot twice diagonally so fast the attack formed an X. “I’m going DX on this mother****er!” Floyd replied as he continuously punched one robot then kicked it through a wall.

Poison sliced one robot’s head off as he said, “That’s so Pringles.” Spring landed beside him and kicked a robot through the roof before saying, “Where yo curly mustache at?”

Poison reached into his pocket and brought it out. “Right here, man.” Spring grabbed it and leapt at a group of robots entering the room with a battle cry of, “Curleh mustache!” before hitting them with a fiery kick, inevitably making them explode. Suddenly, one large robot ran in yelling, “Imma have to pwn somebody!” Just before Poison hit him with an elbow to the chest. He jerked back, at which point Floyd rushed in and held the .44 magnum to his face and retorted, “Close yo mouth, son!” before blasting his face off.

As another appeared, Spring punched it several times before kicking it into the air, at which point Poison slashed it half a dozen times, followed by Floyd hitting it with a hurricane kick before hammering it into the ground. “That’s 90%, welcome to kewltown, sucker!” Poison exclaimed.

Just then, a figure appeared high above and dropped down. He also wore a black suit, had a large black cloak concealing most of his body, a cool hat, black shades and a badass beard, and since he wasn’t like the others, this must obviously be Willard. As the others adjusted their shades, the room suddenly exploded as it could not contain the amount of awesomeness combined. “I know why you’re here.” Willard began. “Because I am Willard. No, I did not take that woman’s ass, and besides, it would be a waste to take just the ass. I despise leaving jobs half finished, they could have just simply taken the body and dissolved it within acid, but that’s one of my simpler ideas.”

“So you know who did it?” Poison asked.

“Yes, it was...” He removed his shades, at which point they also did, resulting in an extreme staring contest, causing the room to explode again. “Omar.”

“Omar...” Spring and Floyd said in unison.

“I could never understand the ravings of that madman without hoping to go insane myself, but maybe I’m already there and just don’t know it yet. Sadly it is not the time to fight you, Omar resides at Fake Street, you’ll know the location when you see it.”

“So we don’t get to fight you?” Poison asked.

“You can only fight what you can truly comprehend. You, young demon, cannot hope to comprehend my very being right now.”

“So then what are you?”

“I am Willard.” Willard put his shades back on and pulled his cloak over him, suddenly vanishing.

And so, Spring, Floyd and Poison made their way to Fake Street, and followed a trail of blood into a subway which looked abandoned for some odd reason. After walking around the subway for a short bit, they suddenly came across a blue woman with four arms, wielding 4 flaming chainsaws. As she charged at them, they ran back, blasting at her, which was no use since she deflected the bullets with her chainsaws. After another minute of running around, it became obvious they couldn’t get close because of the big number of chainsaws, which she blocked all gun fire. Poison managed to get her from behind and slice off two of her arms. As she jerked back in pain, Floyd punched her, Spring kicked her in the face, then Poison sliced of the last two arms.

Floyd knocked her back with an elbow, followed by Spring kicking her back and into the air. Floyd grabbed her and slammed her into the ground before kicking her towards Spring again, who head butted her towards Floyd who slammed her again, Spring hit her with a hurricane kick and punched her across the area. Floyd dashed towards her, leaped up and hit her with the knee of justice, causing her to explode.

“A shame something so awesome had to be wasted...” Poison said, giving his views on the blue woman wielding four flaming chainsaws as he shed a tear.

On a train nearby was Omar, who had a white lab coat on, black pants, and crazy hypnotic glasses on his forehead above his spiky blonde hair. They got onto the train, with Omar on the other end. “Good evening, gentlemen. Yes, I killed that woman, with the help of a guy called ILS. I did it to create the ultimate lover, with some of the impressive body parts from other individuals. I’m pissed that you killed my prized subject even after I made some “modifications”, hehehehehehe!” He began laughing maniacally.

“It’s over, Omar. We’re taking you in.” Spring said. “But first we’ll assume how you planed out your murder. Floyd, would you do the honors?”

“But of course.” Suddenly, flashback scenes appeared out of nowhere. “You weren’t originally that interested in that woman, but after calling you a nutjob, you raged, and found a nerd who was also raging. You got him to knock her out and take her behind the building, because you wanted a piece of that fine booty. Then you cut it off using those various dummies guides, and yeah, that’s pretty much it.”

“So where’s this ILS?” Poison asked.

Omar shrugged. “I dunno, lololololol! Go ahead and take me in, guys, but I’ll be back! So far I’m only up to the torso on building the perfect body!”

After a bunch of random crap, Omar was taken into custody, and the three of them were leaving HQ on the way to their car. “Today was fun.” Poison said. “I should join you guys more often.”

“You really should.” Spring replied.

“It’s also one of the only chapters Ivy isn’t actually in.”

Just then, SA2 appeared and handed them a chart. “Bad news, guys, another incident came in and we need you on this case ASAP. You need to get down to this house a few miles north from here, a woman was found dead after being pushed down some stairs, presumably. Apparently, she fell in a completely straight manner.”

Floyd removed his shades. “Looks like this woman was...” he put them back on. “Straight tripping.”

Poison took out his guitar, shrugged and got to his knees before yelling, “YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!” He then began playing the guitar and made a few cars in the background explode.
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« Reply #39 on: 16 December, 2009, 09:48:11 am »

TMEDCE: Chapter 5 – PAL 3000

She quickly grabbed her scythe by the computer and made her way upstairs and along the dark corridor ahead of her into the second door on the right where Poison was sleeping. She raised her scythe above her head, but then remembered it would be better to take him into the basement and actually make a robot body before doing this.

She spent the next few hours building the large robot body from other scrap robot parts and metal found in certain areas outside the house. The robot was quite blocky with a red antenna and a big glass red eye on its face...

...After the frustratingly long day, PAL tucked Ivy into bed and gave her a good night kiss, despite having no lips, and then left the room to make preparations in order to kill her the very next day.

“I can’t let you do that, Ivy..."

...“I’m firing mah lasers, Ivy.” PAL said while shooting lasers...


...“No. It’s that I’ll never be able to find good help and be stuck with a crappy servant like you forever, and the one servant I did like tried to kill me! So now I gotta settle with a useless load like you.”

...“Ahh, I almost forgot. This robot is still capable of working with just electricity, so I’ll just send it after a certain angel.” She grinned as she charged PAL again, set the option to ‘Kill’ and pointed to Ruby who was hiding in the bushes outside. PAL walked right through the wall in the living room and gave chase as Ruby ran off down the street...

Incidentally, I laughed out loud at all of this. I lol'd at the bolded after reading the italics...fantastically well done. *reads last chapter*




























*reads last chapter*

I loved it. I couldn't even stifle my laughter.
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« Reply #40 on: 16 December, 2009, 12:23:41 pm »

Seriously, I was laughing. A lot. That made my day.
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Floyd is the devil.
I SERIOUSLY DREAMT OF FLOYD BEING A KILLER CYBORG WHO RAN 10 TIMES FASTER THAN ANY NORMAL HUMAN, AND THEN KILLED MM, TURNED FEMALE, WENT AFTER ME, AND I DROPPED FROM THE SKYSCRAPER! IT HURTED, BUT I AWAKE CALMLY, THINKING I WOULDN'T SEE YOU AGAIN.
*no gold, just us*
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« Reply #41 on: 17 December, 2009, 08:42:19 am »

In terms of jokes, It actually turned out better than I expected it to.
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« Reply #42 on: 17 December, 2009, 10:39:29 am »

The way they're being delivered has improved since the first chapter.
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« Reply #43 on: 18 December, 2009, 09:38:19 am »

I've never been too good with first chapters, sadly.
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« Reply #44 on: 24 December, 2009, 07:32:37 pm »

This one wasn't really meant to be this early, but seeing how it was Christmas, I did it anyway.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TMEDCE: Chapter 7 – Doomy Christmas

It was late Christmas Eve, and the streets were covered in snow. Ruby was strolling down a street wearing a puffy beige coat as she was singing. “Oh, the weather outside is frightful.” She put her arms around her. “And fire is so delightful, since I’ve no place to go...” As she skipped past a box of puppies, they sang in unison, “Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!”

“It doesn’t show signs of pauseping!” A bus suddenly drove past, the driver singing, “I’ve brought some corn for popping!” the driver then crashed in several cars due to not paying attention. “The streetlights are turned down low...” She then grabbed the hand of a bear who was walking by and they spun in circles as they both sang, “Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!”

Ruby continued walking; humming to herself when out of nowhere came a razor sharp boomerang from the side. Ruby happened to spot 5 bucks just ahead and picked it up as the boomerang flew by her. Ivy stood on a roof further away, quite angry that the boomerang missed. Ruby felt the cold air as the boomerang flew past her, and looked in the direction it came from to see Ivy. “Oh, it’s you...”

Ivy leaped off the roof and landed beside Ruby. “Well, of course! So what are you so cheery about, hmm?”

“Don’t you know? It’s almost Christmas!”

“Christmas? What’s that?”

“It’s where your close family and relatives come together once a year, have fun, eat food and celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ!”

“It doesn’t sound that great...” Ivy turned around and began to walk off until Ruby suddenly said, “And we also get presents!” Ivy immediately stopped and spun round. “Presents?”

“Yup.” Ruby nodded. “We get presents and can also give presents to others, as a way to represent our feelings towards those close to us. Santa also comes down the chimney of all the houses every Christmas morning at midnight to stack a few presents under the Christmas tree.”

“Santa? Christmas tree? Your information will come in handy, foolish angel. I shall now depart.” Ivy rushed off towards her house.

Upon kicking open the front door and running in, she noticed decorations around the place and a Christmas tree. “Poison! It’s nearly Christmas! I have to do something about this!”

“Oh boy...” Poison rolled his eyes as he sat on the couch, watching television.

“Don’t ‘oh boy’ me! I just heard about this Santa guy, and presents! I need to inform this guy of the many presents I want!”

“That’s what the ‘oh boy’ was about, and thanks to the carollers earlier, I looked up information about Santa, and you’re not gonna like it much.”

“How so?”

“Well, he has this ‘Naughty and Nice list’, which is to identify who’s been good over the year and who’s been bad. The good people get presents, while the bad people get coal, so I wouldn’t get your hopes up.”

“Hah! That’s stupid! I’m gonna write a letter to Santa, and he’d better get me what I want, or else!” She stormed off while Poison continued to watch television. Later that night, Ivy sat in bed, waiting for Santa to deliver the presents after the chance of him assuming everyone was asleep. After a little while, she ran downstairs and discovered that Poison was indeed right, and she had only gotten lumps of coal. She furiously ran down into the basement and brought out her ship, which she began making improvements upon, trying to turn it into a large battle ship. Two hours later, she had built a red armoured exterior over the ship, making it half the size of the house, just big enough to fit through the remote controlled space in the roof.

She went into Poison’s room, grabbed him and put him on the ship and then finally took off. Poison woke up shortly afterwards, yawned and then looked around. “Where am I and what are you doing?” 

“We’re going to teach a certain fat guy a lesson he’ll never forget.” Ivy said with a devious smile.

“Oh boy...” Poison replied, rolling his eyes again.

After a while of flying around the city, they soon spotted Santa on a roof, getting back onto his slay and taking off towards another house. Santa glanced at the incoming ship and continued at his own pace until Ivy’s ship produced laser cannons from the sides and opened fire on Santa’s slay. Santa put on his serious face and avoided the blasts, drifted to the right and threw a candy cane, knocking off one of Ivy’s laser cannons. Ivy continued to fire at him, with Santa easily evading all her attacks, until he was eventually hit. She followed through with several more blasts, causing Santa’s slay to spiral out of control and soon crash into a tree in a park, knocking Santa unconscious and injuring his reindeer, as well as smashing his slay into pieces.

“This is a new low, Ivy.” Poison shook his head in disgust over what he had just witnessed.

“Shut up! Since Santa didn’t fulfil his end of the deal, I’ll take all his presents!” Ivy crossed her arms and did an unusual laugh. “Hoooooohohohoho!”

“I see you changed your laugh a little for this occasion...”

Ivy landed by the stacks of presents and stuffed them into her ship, as well as the checklist Santa happened to be carrying, and took his hat while she was at it. On her way to find the houses Santa had already delivered presents to, she saw one of those Sexy Santa suits in a store that calendar girls are always wearing, so she broke in and took it. “Hey Poison, what do you think?”

Poison, who was wide awake at this point, shrugged. “You look as bratty as ever.”

“I hate you oh so much.” Ivy said as she started up her ship again and took off.

Ivy went around town for the next 30 minutes, climbing down the roofs of houses Santa had already visited and stealing their presents, which was presented as a slideshow as she sang that song from the Grinch. She soon arrived at the Loli Rangers house as the slideshow stopped. “I had no idea these guys got presents.”

“Do you really have to steal their presents?” Poison asked. “Not that I care much, but don’t you have enough?”

Santa never gave me anything, so I’ll take them all by force, and no-one will stop me!”

“And yet you wonder why most people hate you.” Poison retorted.

Ivy ignored him as she climbed down their roof to steal the Loli Rangers presents. Meanwhile, Ruby was skipping through the park, singing ‘Jingle Bells’ when she came across Santa. She gasped and rushed to his aid. “Santa! Are you okay?!? What happened here?” She shook him until he slowly opened his eyes.

He rubbed his forehead before speaking. “Some crazy **** went down. This girl brought this pimped out ship and tried to take me down, but I had mad skillz so it wasn’t easy. Sadly I got careless and got myself owned. So who may you be, little girl?”

“My name is Ruby. I was just going to any open store to get some milk. So this girl who shot you down, did she have pink hair and was accompanied by a green haired person?”

“As a matter of fact, yes, she was.”

“Ivy, I should have known.” Ruby put her hand to her heart. “Well I’ll do everything I can to help stop her!”

“Then take this.” He handed her a device similar to a Nintendo DS. “My slay is destroyed, but using that you can control a small ship I have and blast that girl out of the sky.”

“Oh, okay.” She switched it on and took out the stylus.

Back at the Loli Ranger’s house, Ivy got back into the ship as she said, “Its kinda weird how those five all sleep in the same bed.”

“They’re little girls; it’s not really weird at all.” Poison replied.

As they took off towards another house, Poison looked back and tapped Ivy on the shoulder. “Hey, we got a little company.”

The small ship transmitted Ruby’s voice as Ivy noticed the ship. “It’s over, Ivy! I’m going to take you down and get back those presents! I should have never told you about Christmas!”

“Damn straight!” Poison exclaimed. “Telling Ivy about Christmas is as bad as telling Pedobear about nursery schools.”

“Why must you think the worst of me?” Ivy asked.

“Have you not realized what you’ve spent the last few hours doing?”

“Anyway...” Ruby continued, getting their attention again. “I’m going to blast you out of the sky!”

Ivy laughed at her overconfidence. “Foolish angel! You’re far too low levelled to think you can defeat the final boss!”

“When did this become a video game?” Poison said to no-one in particular.

“Welcome to bullet hell!” Ivy suddenly summoned two smaller ships which connected to the left and right sides of the bigger ship, and produced laser cannons on the sides and on top of the ships. They opened fire upon Ruby’s ship, which was able to easily avoid hits by doing barrel rolls despite having to dodge thousands of lasers coming at her.

Spring and Floyd were watching this from a street corner close by where they were beating up a gang of snowmen. Floyd quickly glanced up and saw thousands of bullets filling the air. “Looks like s***’s getting real.”

“Indeed.” Spring replied.

As the two ships moved across the sky, Ivy’s ships health bar had gone down to 25% while Ruby had already lost two lives and was on her last. Santa managed to make it to the roof of a house close to them. He dashed across the roof and leaped high into the air towards Ivy’s ship. Poison informed Ivy of Santa’s sudden appearance, and they both quickly jumped out of the ship just as Santa launched a flaming downward kick at the ship, causing it to explode as he went through it. As she hit the ground, she looked up at gasped at the explosion following pieces of her ship hitting the pavement. “My ship! You blew it up!”

“I guess we’re even now.” Santa said right after sliding along the ground and coming to a halt.

“Even? Not even close! You dare to give me coal as a present and blow up my ship? Whatever I did was far from as bad as you just did! I’m going to kill you!” Ivy pointed at him.

Santa got into a fighting stance and began to power up, forming a glowing red aura which resonated from his body. “It’s been a while since I did this, let’s go, little girl.”

Ivy also powered up, also forming a red aura around her. “Let’s see what you got, old man!” Ivy charged at him and using the full force of her potential strength, she punched him through several cars. Santa flipped in midair and landed on his feet as Ivy charged at him again. Santa blocked her attacks, and attacked with waves of his aura, which she easily dodged before kicking him through a tree close to the park. As Ivy continued her assault, Santa quickly dashed towards her until he was a few feet away and kicked her through a building more than 30 feet away. As Ivy leaped out a window and into the air, she gathered her stored energy and fired a giant wave of fire, wiping out a thin layer of the ground where it hit across the whole park. 

Santa jumped up and prepared to punch her while Ivy did the same. As their fists connected, they made a giant shockwaves, knocking the leaves and snow off a majority of the trees. They both moved back and touched the ground away. Suddenly, Ruby ran up to the area yelling, “Stop the fighting, guys!”

“Get lost, Ruby, you’re ruining the moment!” Poison yelled from further away.

Ruby stopped in between them. “This is ridiculous, guys! It’s Christmas, you shouldn’t be fighting. It’s a time when everyone can have fun and talk about fond old memories, and learning to tolerate certain people that you otherwise couldn’t stand any other day of the year, regardless of the horrible things they may have done to you.”

Santa powered down upon listening to the young angel’s reasoning. “My goodness, she’s right! I let my stress get the better of me, but then again, this girl did injure my reindeer and steal my presents, but maybe I can tolerate it just for today.”

“That’s some crazy logic, old man.” Ivy replied.

“Maybe so. Well, I’d get back to work, but I haven’t really got a slay now...”

“You sure about that, Santa?” Just then, Awesome showed up with Santa’s slay and reindeer all healed, shocking everyone.

“Awesome?! What are you doing here?” Santa asked.

Poison slowly snuck up beside Ivy during this time and said, “Santa knows your dad?”

“Everyone knows my dad.” Ivy replied. 
 
“So I heard about the problem due to my incredibly sensitive hearing and fixed your slay for you.” Awesome said.

“Awesome, man, I got mad respect for you.” Santa replied.

“No sweat, man, you know you my booooooi!”

“So I still gotta deliver the rest of these presents, you coming with?”

“I’m down for that, and while we do that, we can talk about those good times we had like when we went head to head with those abominable snowmen who took over your place and held your workers hostage.”

“Oh yeah. That was a pretty stressful situation, but I’d be lying if I said it was fun.” As they got in the slay, Ivy approached them. “Oh yeah, old, guy, here’s your hat back.” She said before placing it on his head.

“I assume that’s your way of apologizing without actually saying it?” Santa inquired.

“You’d assume correctly.” Ivy nodded.

“Well here’s a spare present from me, it’s on the house.” Ivy was too shocked to reply as she took it. Santa immediately took off, and waved goodbye to the others. Santa’s ship suddenly went into hyperdrive, disappearing completely. As it did, Ivy came to her senses again and quickly began unwrapping the present. “I wonder what kind of amazing thing he got me...”

“I’m surprised you got anything at all...” Poison responded.

After unwrapping it, she found a plain white box, and inside it was a thin layer of coal. Ivy dropped the box and gritted her teeth as she stomped on the box. “What?!? That old geezer tricked me! Why that good for nothing, fat sack of s-”

“Watch the language there.” Poison interrupted.

“Whatever. I’m pretty damn furious. Where’s that foolish angel so I can take it out on her?” As Ivy looked to her left and right to her, Ruby was silently sneaking away from behind them. “Well it doesn’t matter. Let’s never celebrate Christmas again.”

Poison shrugged. “Whatever, I’m going round the Loli Rangers house tomorrow anyway.

“Only if you kiss the royal foot.”

“Don’t get your hopes up.”
« Last Edit: 01 February, 2010, 08:20:18 am by Ku Fei » Report Spam   Logged

~SA2
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