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The Something Something Demonic Something Ever

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Author Topic: The Something Something Demonic Something Ever  (Read 9435 times)
Marie Rose
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« Reply #375 on: 14 January, 2011, 05:04:25 pm »

*backhands you*
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« Reply #376 on: 14 January, 2011, 05:59:42 pm »

*Goes flying backwards in the air in slowmo and hits the ground*

*makes a girly moan of pain*

*looks up with tears in eyes*

....

Yeah I deserved that....
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Marie Rose
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« Reply #377 on: 16 January, 2011, 12:58:34 pm »

So yeah, I'll get to this at somepoint soon because I know what I wanna jot down but I'm having a hard time doing so, so I'll get it done eventually...
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Marie Rose
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« Reply #378 on: 18 January, 2011, 05:02:01 pm »

I don't even, you guys
---------------------------------------------------------------------

Now its time for: Reipa Gi-

Lolita ripped the cardboard sign in half and sat down. “Unfortunately, due to a case of Writer’s block-” She thought for a moment. “No wait, that’s not it. Writer’s perseverance?  Writer’s distractions? Whatever, the point is, its moving much slowly than it should, so I’ll reluctantly be doing another one of these in the meantime.” She sighed. “First caller, hurry the **** up.”

“Wow, you’re in a pretty bad mood…”

“Is that so? I think there’s an anime you should watch. Its called “**** no Sherlock.” Now what’s the question?”

“Oh, umm, is it okay if I draw yuri fanart of you and Pandora?”

“I assume some of the people who watch this show already have, so I don’t think my opinion really matters. Next caller.”

“So when are you going to continue with the show?”

“I’m not sure, I’ll have to ask my agent. Next.” 

“Hey Lolita, I’m a big fan of your show, and I love how you guys lampshade and subvert half the things which happen. What’s the thought process behind that?”

“It just comes natural. Probably by observing and taking note of half the classic aspects being used regularly. Though within the main cast there are only a handful of people who can truly to called ‘good’ in a defining sense of the word. Plus we’ve got a mixed bag of characters, half of them being used to parody something cliché or from pop culture, like that bullshit about Ruby being a magical girl because some of her traits are similar.”

“Thank you so much! Bye!”

“My pleasure. Next caller, c’mon, lets move, people.”

“I’ve noticed you’ve been drawing attention to the fact that Ivy eats a lot, be it sugary foods or whatever. But yet she doesn’t seem to put on any weight. So then where does all that food go to?”

“There are some questions which really don’t need answering, and I say this because I don’t know, nor do I want to. Next caller.”

“Oh, thank god. I need serious help with this eroge because this thing is relentless. Make one wrong move and its an immediate bad end. Some deaths are pretty horrifying, some are bizarre, and some others are actually pretty damn funny.”

“I don’t think this is the place for this kind of thing.”

“But its based on the show. I can’t beat any of the routes! You need to give me good info about all the girls or something, just some helpful advice, you just gotta!”

Lolita took out a piece of paper as she said, “I don’t recall having to provide helpful advice being a part of my contract, sorry.”

The next person quickly rang in with, “**** hentai, how does it work?”

“I don’t even know. Next caller.”

“Why does Dojikko-chan not actually trip? And why is Loli Green a part of the main rangers but Loli Pink isn’t?”

“Dojikko-chan grew out of that tripping phase quite a long time ago, and the reasons of Loli Pink joining another group are unknown. Next, please.”

“So those issues with Damien and his dad. What happened to that?”

“They settled the matter a long time ago on Jerry Springer. It was somewhat due to the fact that Damien thought his dad cared more for Ivy than himself, as he went through a lot of changes as Ivy was growing up. So anyway, that’s all I have time for, and all I can stand. Though it’s a shame that guy asking random panty related questions never turned up.” Lolita got up and simply left without waving goodbye.
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« Reply #379 on: 18 January, 2011, 05:12:21 pm »

A galge based on TMEDCE? Just take my money!

This time I heard the start of the Lucky Channel theme but then I heard a record scratch.... Well done....
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Marie Rose
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« Reply #380 on: 18 January, 2011, 05:22:11 pm »

dat **** is nintendo hard mang
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« Reply #381 on: 18 January, 2011, 05:32:37 pm »

I'll still take it!
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Marie Rose
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« Reply #382 on: 18 January, 2011, 05:36:56 pm »

Seriously though, someone should make a eroge where a majority of the choices lead to a bad end and you have no idea what the hell you did wrong.
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Marie Rose
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« Reply #383 on: 21 January, 2011, 04:18:42 pm »

So I finally got back to doing this. Believe it or not, this was originally going to be longer. Yes.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TMEDCE: Chapter 49 - Stronghold of the Strongest, Part 1

It was two days after the total bullshit about Pandora being the strongest, and Ruby and Gary mysteriously received a distress call coming from a military base which might’ve been called Area 51. Upon arriving they discovered the place had been broken into, as tons of machinery was destroyed, metal entrances were ripped open, blood and organs were smeared across the walls and floors along the inside, and various areas were on fire from all the wreckage caused. Not to mention there were tons and tons of hideous animalistic fleshy monsters roaming around, picking at the flesh of injured soldiers while some were stuck to webs of blood and were being feasted upon by grotesque fleshy spiders. After coming across a large hellish dog with teeth that covered half its face, Gary blasted it to pieces, only to discover acid poured out of it as they stepped back.

“That thing bleeds acid?!?” Ruby exclaimed. “What on earth could have done this?”

“I think its more likely to assume it’s a ‘who’.”

They ran around the corridors, beating the crap out of an assortment of deformed creatures which seemed to be made of blood. They slowly walked along a dark corridor apart from one light down the hallway which flickered on and off.

“Man, this seems like something out of a horror movie.” Ruby said as she noticed a big patch of pulsing blood in the right corner of the walls.

“We could have arrived sooner if not for that stupid magical girl nonsense you do.”

“But I have to do the magical girl transformation sequence, complete with the obligatory panty shot.”

“You watch too much magical girl anime.”

“You want too much anime in general.”

“…Agreed.”

They ran around empty corridors and rooms filled with monsters, both humanoid and animalistic, which they easily cleared out with a number of simple moves. Crystal called Gary while this was going on as Ruby whacked a ball of slime back at a scorpion with her spear. “Hey Gary, you guys okay down there?”

“Why? Do you know something about this?”

“No, Michael just said it was a serious matter. So what’s going on?”

“Well, have you ever seen The Thing?”

“No.”

“Alien?”

“Yeah, I’ve seen that.”

“Well the situation here is kinda a mix of those…I’m unfortunately assuming.”

“So you need any helping hand?”

“For the moment I think we’ve got it.” Gary replied as Ruby chopped the head off a large spider in the background.

They moved on, sliding across tables and kicking down doors, charging through the various minions of deformed monsters as they made their way further into the base. Upon entering one of the large main control centres, they discovered over two dozen soldiers firing upon hordes of bloody monsters while taking cover behind some of the machines and equipment. As they rushed in to help out, the soldiers nearly attacked them, but were then somewhat confused as to whether they were really on their side, but still appreciated the help.

Once they had killed the monsters in the room, Gary approached one of the soldiers, asking, “So what happened here?”

“There was this chick, she somehow got into the base. I think she had shape shifting abilities or something, but she managed to access one of the control rooms and all hell broke loose. At least half the staff here have been killed and over half the ones still left are putting up a valiant fight against the even tougher monsters outside in the middle of the base.”

Gary turned to Ruby as he said, “Lets go.” while she nodded.

After a little while of beating down monsters, within one small room they came across Dawn, who was sucking the blood out of two dead soldiers with her tentacles. She noticed them right away. “Ahh, you two are a bit late, but no matter. Right this way!” She said, running off into another room.

Gary sighed. “It was stupid to even think for one minute that she wasn’t behind this.”

“C’mon, Gary, lets finish this monster for good.” Ruby said as she rushed on ahead.

They chased her across several rooms throwing energy blasts at her. As they arrived at a certain hallway, she pressed a button which set off a chain of bombs placed nearby, nearly knocking Ruby and Gary out. They eventually followed her into a massive ship docking area where fights between the soldiers and monsters were going on, and several of the staff were being stalked by the creatures. Gary decided that he’d help with clearing them out while Ruby tracked down Dawn, just before he bounced across three creatures with lighting strikes, then charged through a metal door high above.

Ruby slid along some bent rails past the random patches of fire in numerous places and taking out creatures as she sped by to the outside quarters of the base, charging past all the action. She caught up to Dawn outside who stood beside a large rocket shaped monster, which she pointed ahead and shouted, “Phallic-thing, I choose you!” Ruby evaded one of its swings and kicked it into the right side of the base before taking off after Dawn again.

“You monster! How could you do something like this?!” Ruby yelled as they entered the left quarters of the base.

“Surprisingly easy, believe it or not. Though I did steal some things, like a green and black uniform, a few fingers, an eyeball or two. I also needed the blood to make my loyal minions. The staff in this place were kind enough to help me out with that.”

“I just…I don’t even know what to say. My rage just can’t be spoken. I can‘t even reply to you right now.”

“Yeah, if I was as dumb as a sack of potatoes, I wouldn‘t say anything either.”

“Then I’d suggest you stop talking.”

Dawn threw a few bombs back as Ruby came round a corner, resulting in the large explosion making a bunch of rubble block the path and sending Ruby flying back. She simply leaped into a nearby air-vent and quickly crawled in the same direction, though she could hear Dawn talk while she did so. “Y’know, I love the sweet sensation of senseless violence, and I did a lot here. I ended up causing…wait for it…Maximum Carnage! Hahahahahahehe! By the way, I love that game.”

“That’s totally not funny.” As Ruby hopped out of the vent a minute later, she followed a trail of blood towards an exit, and spotted Dawn on a large spaceship, along with dozens of her monstrous minions abroad.

“All aboard the Love Craft!” She yelled while sticking a label across the true name of the ship.

“Okay, that’s kinda funny, but in a really sick way…” Ruby leaped ahead and clung to the side then slowly climbed up onto the ship. Ruby hopped across the higher section of the ship till she was above Dawn, and proceeded to impale her with her spear, missing by a second as Dawn somersaulted out the way.

Dawn’s stomach opened up like a mouth, and she used her small intestine as a tongue to say, “You mad?” in a deep voice.

Ruby threw her spear which missed but then hit Dawn with a flying kick, followed by several punches before throwing her into the ships engine. Dawn quickly leapt out onto the ship again, somewhat burnt but seeming unharmed. She looked down at her stomach as she said, “I think she mad, stomach.”

“Why she mad though?” The stomach replied. 

“I don’t even know.” She shrugged.

“I’m gonna rip out that intestine with my bare hands.” Ruby replied as she glared at her.

“You’ll have to catch it first! This way, please!” Dawn leapt off the ship along with her minions, leaving Ruby to try and bring down the burning ship before taking off after Dawn once again.

Meanwhile, Gary had helped rid the area of the monsters shortly after. He didn’t seem to see Ruby and Dawn around, nor had any survivors seen them, so he decided to leave and assumed Ruby took care of it. During that night, Ruby still hadn’t contacted anyone, so he was still quite concerned.

The next day on the demonic planet, Ivy, Poison and Damien were watching a film which seemed to be about Pedobear stalking kids on a camping trip, but that’s not important. Rosie ran into the room, saying, “Guys, you gotta come see this!” as she ran back out. Quite curious, the three followed her outside, and its important to mention that Ivy and Poison were still wearing each others clothes. To their surprise there was a hologram of a massive screen high in the sky, clear enough for most demons to see. The same thing was apparently happening on both the angelic planet and earth at the same time.

On the screen was a webcam view of Pandora with Ruby further back in a dark room leaning against a wall. Ruby appeared to have a dark aura around her as Pandora spoke. “Greetings, inferior species, I am contacting you to inform you that the residents of the underworld have decided to end the life of most living species.” Dawn entered the room and was trying to turn on a projector in the background as Pandora continued. “All you sick, useless, pathetic sacks of flesh have spread your sick, depraved stench all over the planets of this galaxy for far too long, but the cure has arrived, and will be handed out quite soon. You have a few hours left, enjoy them while you can. Go see a movie, do something you never got to do, make up with people, go **** one last time, I don’t care. But know th-” Pandora stopped as Dawn turned on the projector, quickly covering the screen to stop others from seeing something embarrassing as she yelled, “What’re you doing?!? People could’ve saw that! I’m deleting this, and forgetting all memory of it!”

As the connection between the various planets cut, there was a mixture of feelings about the news. Some were worried, some laughed it off, some were curious about what she was planning, and some others wondered what was on that projector that got her so worked up.

A few moments later, Gary immediately called Poison. “Hey Poison, did you see that?”

“Yeah, I’m ready to go anytime you are.”

“Alright, lets meet at that clock tower in just over an hour.”

“Sure thing, see you there.” As Poison hung up, he turned to Ivy.” Seems we gotta make a move, lets go.”

“Nah, maybe some other day.” Ivy replied, beginning to walk off.

“Wait! You can’t just walk away!” Rosie exclaimed. “Whatever that girl is planning is bad, and Ruby has been infected somehow! Isn’t she your friend? Don’t you want to help her?!”

“You seem to be the most sane and morally conscious individual lately.” Poison remarked.

“Yeah, I found it odd too.”

“Fine, I’ll go, but she‘s not my friend.” Ivy responded. “D-don’t misunderstand, its not like I actually want to help Ruby, I just want to bring her back to her senses because I’m supposed to be the evil one!”

“A rare case where both reasons aren’t actually excuses.” Poison commented.

“I’ll get the ship started, and also call Lolita who probably already knows.” Damien said as he walked off.

“By the way,” Poison began. “Can I have my clothes back now?”

No.

And so the rest of them gathered their **** and took off, met at a specific location and since they didn’t know where Pandora was broadcasting from, they went to see Lolita, who was in the middle of one of her segments. “Believe it or not, the name Cherry does not refer to anything perverted, surprisingly. It makes sense if you know her surname, which is Apples.”

“So…Cherry Apples?”

“Yes, now it makes sense. Next caller.”

“Did you know 40% of 4Chan’s regular members are made up of demons?”

“I did not, thanks for sharing.”

Damien charged through a wall nearby moments before saying, “Lolita, shits about to get real.”

Lolita quickly got to her feet and simply responded with a nod as she walked through the hole in the wall past Damien.

In the dark tower, Pandora was getting things ready while Dawn was inspecting Ruby on her outfit. “Okay, I think you gotta cut the section from the lower torso, as well as cut off 1/3 of that skirt.”

“Why?”

“Evil people tend to show more skin.”

“But the blackness is to creep around in the dark undetected, so this would be bad. Also, neither you or Pandora are showing that much skin so-”

“I don’t wanna hear complaints, Sailor Moon. If you don’t bare that midriff, I’ll cut it myself.”

The others made their way to the tower and were quickly making their way up, disposing of the various robots and monsters with ease, which would have been set to a Streets of Rage 2 theme, but it was cut to save time. As they arrived close to the point, they encountered Ruby, who glared at them as she said, “I despise you all…”

“I’m sure that’s just the dark energy talking.” Crystal remarked.

“You guys go on ahead.” Ivy said. “I can take care of Ruby.”

I despise you the most of all.” She replied.

The other complied with her choice, and went on. They took an elevator up to the top floor and emerged in a standard office room where Pandora and Dawn were waiting. “Greetings, unfortunate souls. I was expecting you. The strongest is me, Pandora! Except that I’m not actually and only said so to get your attention.”

“Well it certainly got Ivy’s attention at least.” Damien shrugged.

“Now that we’re here, I figure I’d take the time to explain the plan, since the details have already been set in motion.” Dawn said. “That golden belt I normally wear wasn’t just to look stylish, it’s a device which consumes things such as hate, anger, etc. and turns it into dark energy. That same dark energy is the same we used to open a rift to the 13th dimension, full of unspeakable horrors for which we have yet to release but will do so shortly regardless of interference.”
 
“Now that you mention it, it did seem odd that you were still wearing that belt on the beach…” Crystal replied.

Dawn continued. “So really my main goal was just to **** people off, and it would have came to this result either way.”

“Yes.” Pandora added. “Our goal was simple, yet easily accomplished either way. These are serious times, meant for serious matters.” And she said this while the camera was shot from a low angle behind her and slowly moved diagonally right.

“And what does Death have to say about this?” Lolita asked.

“He’s busy helping Dracula again with some Belmont problem or something. I could perhaps call off the final phase if you’ll come back, dear sister.”

“I told you, Pandora, Death has assigned my duties mainly to earth now, so I can be with Damien and some other insignificant people who sadly don’t want to be my pets.” The others were of course annoyed by her reply.

“I recall offering to be your pet for a while.”

“Yes, but you were too clingy. Please don‘t tell me you still sleep with that pillow with my picture on it.”

“I sleep with two now.”

Damien shook his head. “She’s like Lolita, except taken to the extreme.”

Pandora turned to face Damien as she said, “I’ll kill you for stealing my onee-sama.” 

“So you did all this just because Lolita wouldn’t come back to the Underworld, and yet its been like a month since she left and you’re only now doing something about it?” Rosie asked, taking the details into account.

“I’m, how you say…rather lazy.”

“Wow, she really is just like Lolita.” Poison commented, stunned by her answer.

“Enough.” Pandora silenced them. “Now behold, my masterpiece.” The walls began to shift to the others surprise as the floor slowly raised up and the ceiling opened up to move them outside. In the distance was a black and dark purple familiar shape, suspended in midair which very slowly got bigger.

Gary was the first to say, “It looks sort of like a box…” Dawn quietly chuckled as she put on her cool face while Pandora coughed as she turned slightly.

“Because I’m in a good mood, I’ll let you guys in on something, that box is the one-dimensional portal I managed to create off-screen in the last week. My four robot minions are the ones supplying that box with dark energy currently to fully open that portal. You might stand a chance to stop them if you hurry but I doubt it.”

Lolita immediately handed Rosie a map, saying, “They should be located at those points.” Before Rosie could even respond, she then said, “A Shinigami’s soul search ability is of the highest quality, regardless of whether there‘s a soul to actually find.”

“Well in the meantime, I’ll take care of Dawn personally.” Poison said, drawing his sword.

“You sure about this?” Gary said.

“I’m certain I can beat her one-on-one.”

“Awfully overconfident, aren’t we?” Dawn said with a smirk. “I accept your challenge though.”

The others left to find the spots on the map. As they did so, Pandora smiled. “Now let us fight to the death, onee-sama.”

“Stop calling me that, besides, we Shinigami can never truly die.”

“Then let us fight for all eternity.” Pandora fired a beam from the center of her umbrella. Lolita slid under it and attacked with a rising kick, which missed as Pandora backflipped off the roof with Lolita close behind.

“Alright, hotshot, its just you and me.” Dawn said, sprouting half a dozen tentacles.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to kick your ass. I’m certainly gonna enjoy this.” Poison said with a smile.

“Slow down there, or else you’re gonna conjure up some foe yay, besides, I’d eat you alive, boy.”

“Only one way to find out.”

The two spent the next 20 seconds moving around and attacking with long range moves while evading. Poison eventually slid under one of her tentacles and sliced it off. While he was still sliding, Dawn spread out the puddles of blood telekinetically which sprouted spikes that Poison narrowly avoided as he leaped back several times.

“You like that?” Dawn asked. “I call it, “Bloodbending.”

“Didn’t know your blood was that flexible.”

Poison leaped over her next attack and threw two low punches which Dawn blocked, then she blocked a high punch but was quickly kicked backwards. Dawn ducked under another punch and hit him with a roundhouse kick as she yelled, “C-C-C-Combo Breaker!” Poison quickly backflipped as he hit the ground and charged at her, swinging several times with his sword while she evaded the hits. Dawn quickly moved forward and hit him with a dozen blood spikes from her tentacles. He charged in again, throwing several punches which she blocked but knocked her into the air with a rising slash. She dashed through the air to his other side but was quickly hit with another slash. As she dropped down  she landed a direct hit with one sharp-teethed tentacle followed by a kick to the face.

As Poison got up, Dawn shot another tentacle. He jumped over it and prepared to attack with an overhead swing, but another tentacle quickly sunk its teeth into his torso and Dawn yelled, “Get over here!” as she pulled him towards her. She punched him again then quickly grabbed him with another tentacle, yelling, “Come here!” before kicking him.

Meanwhile, Lolita and Pandora were soaring through the sky as they were fast approaching the ground, with Pandora firing things and Lolita deflecting them while firing back. Lolita quickly flew by one of her attacks and tackled her through a wall from the side. Pandora quickly pulled out two SMG’s and fired at her, Lolita immediately taking cover. “Ruby, open the dimensional portal.” She said into a communicator. Just then, Lolita rolled into view with an assault rifle and shot back as Pandora hid behind a table.

In a corridor down below, Ruby was hitting Ivy with various music induced combos and then threw her through a wall as she said, “Understood.” As Ivy was getting up she said, “I’ll deal with you later. Villains are a superstitious, cowardly lot, so I don’t expect you to attack me directly.” She then jumped out a window and flew off. Knowing whatever she set out to do was bad, Ivy gave chase.

On another planet, Leo was fixing up a standard rocket ship in a isolated area when his dad approached him, who was simply taller and wore blue overalls. They stood in silence as his dad watched him patch up the ship, until eventually Leo spoke. “Dad, look, I know you don’t approve of my friends and everything but they’re not that bad, and this is serious. You saw it too, this affects a lot of people, so I go-”

“Close yo mouth, son.” He silenced him, followed by a hug. Of manliness, of course. And that was all that needed to be said.

Back on earth, the others who were flying around looking for the dark energy generating factories were speaking with each other. Crystal was the first to speak. “So how long will it take to get to these places, and how long do we have left?”

“Lets just nuke the earth from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure.” Damien suggested.

“Nuking seems to be your answer for everything.” Amber remarked.

On the roof of the tower, Poison and Dawn continued their battle. Poison was cutting her tentacles to shreds as he zigzagged towards her, until she eventually managed to grab him. She then impaled him continuously with rapid tentacle strikes, then when she was finished she unleashed sharp spikes of blood from the tentacle rapped around him, impaling him through the stomach from all sides before throwing him aside. “A shame really, my toys tend to break so easily…” She sat down as Poison’s arm twitched. “C’mon! Where’s your “Everyone’s counting on me!” nonsense, or some stupid, “I will protect you! Blah blah blah!” Is that the extent or your skill? I guess you‘re done for today…”

Poison suddenly flipped and landed on his feet, seeming more enthusiastic than before. “Are you nuts? I live for this kind of ****!”

“So you get off on people trying to kill you? Different strokes for different folks, I guess.” She shrugged.

“Laugh it up, motor mouth, because you’ll be singing a different tune when I’m through.” As if activating a super mode power-up, Poison sped up his movements as he charged through her defences with a wall of wind and began slashing at her repeatedly, slicing her to bits one small section at a time. After a few moments, he began firing waves of razor wind from his occasional kicks between slashes, chopping off various body parts until she was soon a mess of flesh styled logo pieces lying in a pool of her own blood. “Just in case you didn’t know, wind can be pretty deadly when the intent is to kill in a stylish fashion.” He then realized something. “Wait, did I do something cool dressed as a girl? Man, I suck…”

Dawn quickly pulled her parts back together within a few moments, though took a little longer to put her organs in the right areas. “Okay, I got a little careless, understandable. Seems I got a little overconfident, or excited, or whatever. But seriously, you’re so rough with me, have you got something to prove?”

“Nope, but I’ve got a lot of stamina to spare.”

“Try not to finish so fast, I wanna enjoy it too, okay? Now lets give this relationship another shot.”

In one factory, Bronze was speaking with the other three robot siblings. “Hey guys, I think Dawn’s a ****, don’t you think she’s a ****?”

“We know this, Bronze. Its no use complaining.” Silver replied.

“What he said.” Gold added.

“I will forever be loyal regardless of personal treatment.” Platinum replied.

Suddenly, Gary burst through the wall and threw Bronze against the wall before yelling, “How do I stop that dark box in the sky!?”

“I-I don’t know, man! I didn’t make that thing!”

“Dawn says you guys can stop that thing. Something about the factory.”

“What? She’s chatting bullshit! I don’t even know why we’re waiting here!”

“Very well, the interrogation will begin then.”

“Wait! Dude, I’m serious!”

“Enough!” Gary charged his hand with electricity and frowned upon him as he said, “Prepare your anus.”
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Marie Rose
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« Reply #384 on: 24 January, 2011, 01:53:15 pm »

This **** isn't virtual reality?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now its time for: R-

Dawn kicked the card out of the way and threw her hands into the air as she said, “My hostile takeover! Since Sadako’s older sister from The Matrix isn‘t here, I‘ll be running this ****, because too much of me is always a good thing. First caller, you‘re on the air.”

“So how do you and Pandora know each other, exactly?”

“Ahh, well believe it or not, I was actually dead for some time before this whole apocalypse plan bullshit came up. Hold on one sec-” She turned to the side and yelled, “Hey Pandora! Get your fat ass over here!”

She entered from the right side moments later as she said, “My ass is not fat.”

“It’s a figure of speech. Just sit down and be a Lolita replacement.” As she did so, Dawn then said, “And yes it is. Anyway, you know more about how we even met, so could you answer his question?”

“Fine. I resurrected her after I got off my two week long duty abroad, wanting to strangle the **** out of the **** who assigned me that position for the month. After speaking with Death and finding out Lolita now did all her work on earth…I went on vacation, because I really needed to lay on the beach after all that ****. Then I resurrected Dawn, because I was of need of her services, and in return I also had to do a few…things…”

Dawn patted her on the back. “There’s no need to feel embarrassed, it happens to a lot of people.”

“I’m not sure what you guys are talking about, but thanks for letting me know.”

“Anytime, next caller.”

“How did Ruby go to the dark side? Was there a scene missing or something?”

Dawn took out a clipboard and read off it. “All crucial story related questions will be answered in the last actual episo-I mean chap-I mean…thing…next.”

“Pandora, are you a delicious goth loli, or a delicious goth adult?”

“Somewhere in-between. Next.”

“Hey Pandora, Y’know, on my planet, in that fighting game there’s now some mini-fad about how your umbrella will corner **** anyone with a full power bar. Mainly because half the people using your character online tend to go for cheap kills with the twirling umbrella attack, the beam spam, and the six cuts of death. Just thought you should know.”

“I appreciate that my fighting style is popular enough to be considered a tier-induced scrappy. Next caller, please.”

“Hey Dawn, you seem to just love taunting and teasing almost everyone you interact with. Is there anyone you actually like?”

“Just because I’m female doesn’t mean that I need to like people. Besides, I like a lot of people I torment.” She then crossed her arms and turned to the side. “I-Its not like a ridicule people because I’m a malicious person. So don’t get the wrong idea and think I’m secretly a decent person! Luminescent blush.”

“There was no need to say that last bit.” Pandora responded.

“Trolldere, hnnnnnng!” They heard a thud on the other end of the line, and after a bit of confusion they went to the next caller.

“Pandora, apart from Lolita, is there anything else you like?”

“Hmm…” She thought for a moment…which ended up lasting nearly a minute until Dawn finally said, “We’ll get back to you on that. Next.”

“omg, you guys, I really need help with this eroge or whatever. This **** is ridiculous! I just about managed to finish Crystal’s route, but it took me like 18 **** hours because every wrong choice immediately leads to a bad end where you die. Some of the right choices aren’t even clear! Just as an example, I tried to do Ruby’s route today. I died a lot of **** times before reaching this ice cream scene. I could either buy two ice creams, just buy one for her, or buy one and share it. The first two options end by getting hit by a car. WTF! Don’t even get my started on Ivy’s route! This **** is not worth the dere! This amount of tsun is just not worth the dere! But yet I’m still trying this ****. And to make it worse the last 5 choices always have five options to choose, because two paths to a bad end just wasn’t unforgiving enough. A friend of mine who’s finished Ivy’s route told me that the last choice is actually only two options. To either forgive her for all the abuse or you can punch her. If you picked the first its an immediate bad end.”

“Dawn scratched her head. “And the point of this is…?”

“Who the **** made this ****? Its like they intentionally picked the options which people wouldn’t choose just for shits and giggles, and to make you go through the whole damn game again. And you can’t skip cutscenes so to get to that point again would take you nearly an hour only if you already know the right choices purely from trail and error! ARRaHHH!!”

“Chill bro, GameFAQs is your friend.”

“Okay, thanks.”

Pandora sighed. “Next caller, please.”

“Hi there, I don’t consider myself a man of extremely high standards or things related to it, but one thing I can’t stand is when others take personally established characters and twist them for their personal amusement. Like this doujin I read once, where this character I liked and this dude were **** like rabbits. Don’t get me wrong, that’s not why I hate it, its that the personality was all wrong! ‘**** silly’ and her just don’t mix, she has no emotions whatsoever. That wasn’t the only type like that there either. Why do people do things like this and not get it right?”

“Because people are stupid.” Pandora suddenly sat up, as if **** was about to get real. “You see, humans are arrogant, feeble, dim-witted insects, the male species more so. They feel the need to control almost everything, because they‘re mentally insecure about themselves. The whole double standards thing is clearly noticeable. Especially in fiction. People get raped and its cool, guys shoot their load like they’re holding hoses and its cool, weak submissive girls are broken down into pathetic whores who really just needed a thick dick to be happy. Is it cool? No, its pathetic, as mentioned. Just as the bland, average teenage boy with no social skills whatever and is someone who can’t even hold the hand of a girl without nearly having a heart attack or incapable of remaining calm.”

“Uhh, its okay for you to s-”

“They don’t care what that character is like in fiction. If they hate a character they’ll have a bunch of overweight, unhygienic, grotesque sacks of fail **** them until they are ‘impure’. What does that mean? Its to do with japan’s creepy fascination of always wanting to be the one to take a girl’s virginity, just because. They don’t see these characters as people, they see them as objects. Things to be dominated and abused like animals. But why must she always be pure and innocent? Maybe its because if she did it with someone who’s had experience, she’ll realize how crappy this uncivilized person is.”

Dawn got up to go get coffee while Pandora continued yet again. “Its not just if they hate a character either, even characters well-liked will get raped. Even if it seems like she wants it, they didn’t at first, it was ****. Sure, she enjoyed it, but you can’t deny what seemed like consensual sex was just a light-hearted excuse for ****. Using the lamest excuses to get someone into bed, putting your junk in places where it shouldn’t go, emptying your hose inside her when she told you not to, it just raises questions. That **** makes babies, y’know. Sex makes babies.”

“Not in hentai, it doesn’t.” Dawn replied as she came back. “Though what pisses me off is that I barely have any fanart. I mean, c’mon! Isn’t evil sexy? Is it because of my tentacles, creepy shape shifting abilities and sadistic nature? I won’t bite…well not at first…”

“And another thing,” Pandora continued once more, though the caller had long since hung up by this point. “They’ll forget established powers they already have if they aren’t average people. If you happen to be a sadist, don’t expect many people to remember that. You ain’t **** compared to the gravitational power of a big dick. **** will be craving for more in no time. And maybe I’ve been under a rock for some time, but I don’t recall chicks wanting to ride the dick of the first generic guy who speaks to them just because he happens to be nice.”

“I went over this, Pandora.” Dawn replied, taking a sip of her coffee. “Except it was for laughs while I was trolling someone, but whatever. You done?”

“Not quite.” Pandora took out a large notebook as she said, “Topics I still have yet to cover are NTR, Lolicon, and Incest. Not to mention the harem genre in general.”

“Uhh, we should finish up now, otherwise nobody’s gonna come back to this.”

“And why is that?”

“Cause no-one wants to hear someone who’s clearly bitter and spiteful go on about this for 30 minutes. You know what you need? A nice gangbang. With big dicks. Against your will, of course.”

“**** you, Dawn.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Dawn cleared her throat. “Anyway, that’s all we have time for, take care!” She waved while Pandora simply walked off.
« Last Edit: 24 January, 2011, 02:03:30 pm by Makoto Nanaya » Report Spam   Logged

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« Reply #385 on: 30 January, 2011, 08:02:38 pm »

So Imma wait till Friday to post and finish this off for good since I missed my cue last friday.
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« Reply #386 on: 30 January, 2011, 08:05:36 pm »

**** I got all excited....

Well it comes when it comes.... And I don't demand anymore than that....
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« Reply #387 on: 30 January, 2011, 08:09:30 pm »

I was originally gonna get it out of the way a few hours ago, but I decided to play my PS3 instead >_>

I could just do another one of those Q&A segments just to stall, but I've honestly done enough.
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« Reply #388 on: 30 January, 2011, 08:17:25 pm »

Yeah.... Speaking of PS3.... I got LBP2 the other day.... It's awesome.... I like how you can use everything you have from the first game.... And this one adds so much more I don't even know what to do with it.... Other people do though so it's all good.... And boy do they know what they doing.... Some crazy good stuff online....

Also for some reason there's a level where a guy made a sackbot that you directly control which works like how you work when creating a level.... It's well made but so damn pointless....
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« Reply #389 on: 30 January, 2011, 08:18:19 pm »

I gotta wait till Friday before I can get that...
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