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The Something Something Demonic Something Ever

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Author Topic: The Something Something Demonic Something Ever  (Read 16619 times)
Marie Rose
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« Reply #435 on: 26 October, 2013, 02:43:24 pm »

Shouldn't had this done over a week ago, lost track of time playing GTA V so long.

Now it’s time for: Reipa Girl, tell ‘em!

Lolita rose up from beneath her desk and cleared her throat before speaking. “Due to complications, no guest will be joining me today. So let’s get started, first caller, you’re on the air.”

“Hey, Lolita, loved the last one. I just noticed something, that some scene or sentence that seemed irrelevant or unnecessary usually hints at something later to come.”

“I believe you’re thinking too much about it, but thanks for the kind words. Next caller, please.”

“Hey man, that shit was awesome! Like how all those villains were in one room like that movie about some knight guy, and how the real opening was like that one cartoon show everyone likes. I also found it interesting how most of these cookie cutter villains were based upon one particular trait which was exaggerated to great effect, and that Gary & Ruby’s scuffle with Rachel & Fuka’s mooks respectively were a little like a dumbed down beat-em-up in those Arkham games. I also found it funny that an obnoxious idol like Rin can hypnotize others with her voice, implying that they’re just being forced into liking her music. Also liked how Ivy’s location was like an upgraded, modernized Base of Doom which made sense since those two are older now, and several locations during their fight were spots where they’d been in the past. They also messed up half the city like in Man of Steel where Superman and Zod were tackling each other through so many skyscrapers like crazy, and that little bit involving space & the moon felt like those supers from that fighting game. You even threw in tidbits like mud wrestling & having them in big cat suit costumes like theme park mascots because boys tend to associate two girls fighting as being a catfight. There’s so much more there I could mention, truly genius writing.”

“I think you’re reading too much into it, and all that info seemed really unnecessary.”

“Well I just wanted to make sure you knew.”

“Well I did, next time don’t explain it. Just so everyone knows, the BD version will be completely uncensored…so buy it. Next caller, please.”

“Good morning, Lolita, I feel I need some advice.”

“Ask away.”

“How do I create strong female characters?”

“Simple, you don’t.”


“Make up a character that’s entertaining, or supposed to be taken seriously, or has some distinctive role but isn’t idealized, and just make them female. Problem solved.”

“I’m not sure if you’re serious.”

“You shall never know. Next caller.”

“Hi Lolita, over the course of the show, you’ve mentioned little bits about Shinigami and whatnot, but I want to know more, how the whole system works and so on. Is it possible to go over that, please?”

“Very well, there’s quite a bit of time, and you did ask nicely so enjoy this feature length film that will answer all your questions.”

It then cut to a black & white animation short that looked like something out of the 1940’s and it opened up with a young boy standing in the middle of a street when the narrator who had a voice similar to Damien spoke. “Hello there, child, do you want to become a shinigami?”

“Umm, okay.” He shrugged.

“Well we have to kill you first, of course.” And right on cue he was run over by a lorry and woke up in the middle of nowhere, clearly scared. “Congratulations, Jimmy, you’re now a fully-fledged shinigami, but you still have much yet to learn. Let’s get to the basics before you lose your mind.”

A big screen with just the word, “Basics.” appeared. It then opened up with Jimmy’s clothes in black, standing on the left of the screen as the narrator talked. “Now you’ll notice something about being a shinigami. Sure, there’s the odd whispers from time-to-time, seeing mystical spirits and whatnot but that’s unimportant. What you will notice is that in combat your reaction time is sped up, or to put it simply, it’ll feel like time is slowed down by approximately 33%. Try it.” After a jump cut, a stick figure stood to Jimmy’s right and began to attack him, with Jimmy managing to evade most of the hits. “You’re getting the hang of it already. You’ll quickly notice your abilities have been enhanced dramatically, giving you super strength, super speed & so on. You can gain additional power through the use of souls, but that’s merely temporary and only from the souls you’ve actually collected. I’d also like to add that when you sign up with us, you need to have a black skull tattoo somewhere on your body. On your thigh, arm, back, chest, doesn’t matter where you want it placed, but you need it somewhere for initiation.”

A big screen with just the word, “Weapons.” appeared. It then opened up with the Stranger from RE4 standing behind the till of a GTA Ammu-nation. “While you’re here you’re going to need your range of weaponry, from the standard pistols & assault rifles all the way to the rocket launchers & the miniguns. Sadly, you won’t be allowed to use the big guns until you level up, for balance issues, of course. There’s also a shooting range in the back where you can hone your skills and improve your aim.

Jimmy interrupted momentarily to ask, “How do I buy ammo?”

The narrator laughed for a few moments before saying, “Ammo is for pussies, real shinigami create their own. Now let’s move on to bigger things.”

A big screen with just the word, “Jobs.” appeared. It cut to an area that looked like a bar, with a whole bunch of bounties & other assignments pinned up on a wall beside the counter. “This will be one of your main sources of income, new jobs will be placed here nearly every day, and they can range from simply dispatching one specific target, silencing an entire workforce, to simply retrieving something without casualties or tailing targets to specific locations. There’s optional objectives that can be completed during this to maximize the amount of money you acquire at the end, or as you young people say these days, “Get dat money.” How do we keep track of these things? It’s a secret to everyone.

A big screen with just the word, “Abilities.” appeared. “Now, let’s get to the meat of things.” The narrator said as Jimmy stood in the middle of nowhere. “We shinigami have various special things about us, for instance,” Suddenly a dark blue ninja with a black bandana jumped in from off-screen and cut him in half with a flaming razorblade yo-yo. “We can regenerate from almost any injury.” Jimmy was too busy screaming to pay attention. “Ahh, right, that would be rather painful if you don’t make use of the proper precautions. Honey, would you be a dear and rewind this?”

“Of course, darling.”

In a jump cut, Jimmy was back to normal. “Sorry about that, my dear boy, I sometimes think through things only half-and-half.” He began laughing while Jimmy glared at him. “Anyway, back to my point. We shinigami can change our pain resistance on the fly subconsciously, to prevent serious inconveniences in battle, though I’d suggest you set your limit somewhere around the 10% range. Just enough to notice some of your fingers have been cut off so your weapons don’t slip out of your hands. Of course such attacks will still hurt but they’ll feel more like bee stings. While regenerating, you could also split into two different bodies and control them both simultaneously, though your overall strength will be reduced. Shinigami can also alter their proportions or increase their size using the souls they collect, observe.” Lolita slid onscreen and produced dozens of souls that consumed her and created a 50 foot shadowy version of herself that crushed Jimmy underneath her foot. “And there you have it. While these kinds of abilities have their own personal uses, please refrain from abusing that. Size alteration & changing your appearance consumes quite a lot of souls so use it sparely.”

After another jump cut, Jimmy was the only one on screen again. “There is one more thing worth mentioning but we’ll get to that in the next section.”

A big screen with just the word, “Combat.” appeared. Jimmy stood surrounded by a group of skeletons as the narrator spoke. “There’s one last ability you need to be aware of: Shinigami Overload. It’s simply bringing your inner power to the surface by turning your whole body black as coal & placing weird purple markings & outlines all over you. You’ll grow 4 more arms for combo purposes, and gain buffs like increased speed, strength, and heightened senses. It also has the benefits of knocking back mooks as you activate it.” And so Jimmy did, knocking back the skeletons several feet. “Don’t rely too much on it to save you in every situation though. Now for the last bit, we Shinigami prefer to aim more for style above other things, now observe.”

It cut to a woman with spiky-haired pigtails & a nose piercing, who wore an open black biker jacket & black jeans. As mobsters came at her, she cut off one’s head with a chainsaw, then quickly spun round and spent a few seconds cutting another vertically in half starting from his balls. Several began firing from across the room but it barely affected her as she sliced one’s arm off then ran up behind another and jammed it up his ass. She sliced off the hand of another man then grabbed the gun and repeatedly fired it down his mouth. She then threw her chainsaw at another man across the room as he tried to get away, hitting him in the head and pinning him to the wall. Needless to say, half the room was covered in blood as the narrator spoke. “While she dispatched these people with ease and showed some degree of style, the level of violence is excessive. We’re supposed to aim more for style, not brutality. Here’s an example.”

It cut to a large bald black man in a trenchcoat with black shades & gloves, who had a samurai sword on his back. As mobsters came at him, he punched one repeatedly in the chest then knocked him across the room with a palm thrust. He sent another spinning as he hit one with a roundhouse kick behind him then uppercut him through the roof. He dashed across the room to another man, kicked him into the air and held him in suspended animation with dual pistols before blasting him with a one-handed shotgun. He leapt up as another attacked and did repeated dive kicks while jump cancelling, then held him off the ground by whipping out a scythe and twirling it vertically, hitting him with it repeatedly, then a rising slash with his sword followed by several more slashes. He landed and whipped out nunchucks, beating up one guy for nearly 20 seconds with them. The last guy was across the room, so he drew his sword as he dashed over there in half a second, taking him out with one clean swing. The mobster exploded just as the man put his sword away, the narrator spoke. “It’s not perfect, but that’s more what we look for.”

It cut back to Jimmy as the narrator continued. “So Jimmy, what did we learn today?”

“That being a shinigami is stupid.”

The narrator laughed. “Shut the fuck up, stupid kid.”

“Umm, can you take me back?”

“Nope, you’re stuck there now unless Death allows you to leave, sorry kid, I don’t make the rules. Well there you have it; I hope you all enjoyed this little detour and take note of these basic tips in the future.”  It then faded to black.
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Marie Rose
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« Reply #436 on: 21 November, 2013, 11:59:05 pm »

This is technically two chapters put together with some bits taken out, so it's pretty damn long
tiem to taek jabs at current airing animu. Fun fact: Did you know that pussy is censored but pussies isn't?

TMEDCE: Ominous Vintage Aroma

It was a typical day on that one planet I keep talking about. Kate, who walked along a hill in a trenchcoat that was far too big for her & a fedora, was carrying a suitcase. She opened the case, throwing out a whole bunch of papers as she hopped down the hill. She then tiptoed as she approached some bushes & from three random angles quickly ran from within one bush to another. As she passed one house, a small Cerberus sitting on the porch barked at her five times. She did her ‘haters gonna hate’ walk with a golden 'G' chain hanging from her neck up to an apartment. As she forced the door open, she said, “Badaboom-badaboom-badaboom!” as it replayed it from 3 different angles. She tiptoed around the rooms and as she approached one room with lights on, she said, “Homies better beware, you’re in for a scare!” She made her presence known with a hard push as she exclaimed, “Badabum-badabum!” from two different angles. She then tiptoed in and sat beside Ivy. In this room was Ivy, Ruby, Rosie, Amber, Crystal, Lolita, Pandora, Dawn, Goldia & Daisy when Kate arrived, and there wasn’t much there besides a TV & game console further away, a table nearby with a bunch of food & drinks on it & a whole bunch of quilts & pillows.

“The hell are you doing?” Ivy asked Kate as she sat down.

“Nothing in particular.”

“So as I was about to say,” Pandora began. “I guess I’ll tell you about some of my early experiences as a Shinigami. I also won’t leave out important bits, even if they may be a little embarrassing.”

“I wanna hear this!” Kate exclaimed. “I wanna know as much as I can.”

“Well, maybe I’ll leave out some bits. So like I said, Death came to me and asked if I wanted to be a Shinigami, I had no idea what on earth that was but it was either that or hell so I took it. Next thing I know, I found myself outside some grimdark city in the middle of the night.”


Pandora walked down one of the city paths and soon came across a Caucasian man with a black shirt & pants smoking by a wall. He turned to her and said, “So you’re the new kid, huh? Alright, let’s get going.” They walked along while Pandora looked around. Someone drove down the street and nearly splashed her as they hit a puddle then they passed someone who threw paper at a lamppost that bounced off and hit the bin. The Caucasian man also breathed out some smoke before throwing his cigarette in the trash. As they travelled through the city Pandora saw such sights as a woman hanging laundry out to dry from a fourth-story window, kids doing yo-yo tricks in a playground, several men in suits playing blackjack as one dealt out the cards, as well as a race going on outside of Ammu-Nation just before the “chorus”. At the shooting range there were 8 booths all full. The first threw a knife at the target; the second used a handgun, the third used an SMG, the fourth an assault rifle, the fifth a shotgun, the sixth a light machine gun, the seventh a minigun, and the eighth destroyed theirs with a rocket launcher.

They turned the corner & kept walking. As they passed an alley, Pandora saw two people dressed in rabbit suits, just standing in the middle of the alley and staring as she passed by. On another street, a man was sitting down & playing a ukulele as they passed by. They walked by the park where one person was throwing freebies into the air & another was shooting them. Nearby, they passed a large group of people standing in the middle of the street with Halloween costumes on and then descended some stairs & got onto a boat by the “chorus”. As they sailed across the river by the bridge, it cut between the large group of people doing the Thriller dance, an orchestra & a kid doing judo moves on other students in slow motion. They soon got off the boat and slowly made their way towards a large building a little further away. They walked up the long set of steps and entered the building.

“So what then?” Crystal asked.

“Well I needed to apparently get a tattoo first, so I went to a parlor.”

“So which one do ya want?” A man in the tattoo parlor wearing a typical bikers outfit & bandana said.

“Uh, which would hurt less?” Pandora asked.

“Well none if you know what you’re doing.”


“Look I ain’t got all day, just pick a spot already.”

“Okay, my upper left thigh, I suppose.”

“The thigh?” He shook his head. “Girls these days.”

“That’s kinda slutty.” Dawn replied.

“It is not.” Pandora responded, now wearing her modern attire for some reason with the words “Look at my shirt.” on it.

“I actually also think that’s an odd first spot for a tattoo.” Amber said.

“So what happened next?” Kate asked.

“Well, I still needed a mentor & all. Death wanted me to choose someone from the list, but I was still undecided, all this was still so new to me & a lot to take in so I needed time. I think about 4 days later I saw Lolita walking down a street with a group of people and that was when I decided who I wanted as a mentor. Soon after that, Death spoke to her privately about it.”

“So, are you interested?” Death asked.

“I don’t think I’m the right choice for this kind of thing. It’s too soon for me.”

“Well she asked for you specifically. I mean, you weren’t even on the list and yet here we are, I assume there’s a good reason for it.”

“But…I’m not really a people person.”

“I suppose I could have Marie mentor her instead then.”

“Fine, I’ll do it. I’d feel worse if she had to deal with her.”

“Excellent, I think you’ll come to like this experience.”


Death opened his mobile & checked a text then sighed. “Gotta get going, some nonsense about Belmonts again, I’ll be back by morning.” He closed the door behind him.

“Pandora,” Lolita began. “While I’m willing to remain quiet and let you say what you need to, how do you even know whether this conversation even happened, or what was said when I never mentioned this to you?”

There was a long period of silence.

So about a week later, Lolita and Pandora were going to go on their first real mission together. Pandora wanted to-

“You never answered my question.” Lolita said, interrupting Pandora.

There was more silence.

Pandora wanted to make an impression so she met up with Lolita in the middle of the desert dressed as Black Rock Shooter.

“Hey, I’m ready to get started.” Pandora said as she arrived.

“You should zip up that jacket.” Lolita replied as they walked.

“In the desert?”

“Fine, do as you wish.” They came to a building soon enough in the middle of nowhere and climbed in through a window. “Alright, we’re just looking for one man.”

“I know, white suit, groomed moustache, bad toupee, can’t miss him.”

“We’re only here for him, we’re not going to kill anyone if necessary.”

“What?! That’s boring!”

“I doubt you’re even very efficient when it comes to killing.”

“I’ve killed people before. Anyway, what are we being paid for this mission?” Pandora asked as the two snuck around in a cardboard box.

“Around 5,000.”

“But that’s lame too! I just spent all my money on my high-class apartment, and a few vehicles so I’m broke right now.”

“Where did you get all this money?”

“Stimulus package.”

“But you just recently joined…”

“It still counted.”

After Lolita knocked out several guards, they made it to the room with their target. Presumably just sitting in his chair by a desk, Pandora ignored Lolita’s warning & shot the figure in the head, which turned out to be a fake & triggered alarms all over the place.

“Really?” Lolita asked as she looked at her.

“At the very least we can kill people now.” Pandora shrugged.

As a group of soldiers burst into the room, Lolita charged forward while Pandora did an unnecessary combat roll and hid behind the table. Lolita took out the soldiers with hand-to-hand while trying not to kill any if possible, meanwhile Pandora poked her head up a few times to hit several soldiers in varied chest areas. As they ran down a hallway, several more soldiers came at them as well as one with a minigun so they ducked behind cover. As Lolita was busy fighting off the soldiers nearby, two emerged from another staircase behind them & one grabbed Pandora who managed to fight him off long enough to fire half a clip into his chest and then used several more bullets on the other guy. Lolita took out a grenade after dealing with the soldiers and threw it down the hall beside the man with the minigun, who was then blown through a window from the explosion.

“Hey, how do I reload?” Pandora asked as they kept moving.


“Uhh, yeah. Y’know, the clips?”

“We produce our own ammo.”

“How do I do that?”

“It’s kinda hard to explain.”

“Feel free to take your time.” Pandora said sarcastically.

As they passed by some windows, Lolita stopped and pulled Pandora towards her. “I sense a sniper. On top of a roof across the street. 10’o clock.”

“I can take this guy.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, do you know how to efficiently shoot people yet?”

“What does that mean?”

“You’ve been rather clumsy with your shots. Haven’t you practiced at all?”

“I’m just bad at hitting moving targets, but I can hit a soup can from a mile away with time to focus.”

“Very well, have your time. If you focus you’ll feel him out.”

Pandora closed her eyes for a few moments, then pointed her gun out the window, immediately fired and hit the sniper in the head.

“Nicely done.” Lolita commented before walking off.

As they passed by a small room, a few soldiers jumped out & attacked them. During the attack, one of them managed to jam a knife deep in Pandora’s left leg just as Lolita kicked him through a wall. Pandora fell to the ground, crying out in pain as she exclaimed, “Oh shit! I feel like I’m gonna die!”

“You’re already dead.”

“I know! Oh god, it hurts so much, you gotta help me!” She began crying. Lolita watched for a few moments then pulled out a camera & took a picture. “Aren’t you gonna help me?!?”

“Do you…not know how to lower your pain receptors?”

“What do you think?!”

“You need to relax, the rest will come naturally.”

They got moving again shortly though Pandora was limping briefly. After taking out some more soldiers, they made it outside to be treated to even more as well as snipers but they dispatched them quickly. Suddenly a large grey mech which had 4 feet and two arms appeared and was steadily approaching the area. As it fired a laser beam, Pandora took cover while Lolita charged right at the machine with dual katanas. As she ran under it, she swung at three of the legs, making it hunch over from the wires cut. She threw a black chain which pulled her up upside down behind it & she cut off the part that fired energy beams in slow-motion with a few swings. She flipped right side up as the mech spun round & attempted to punch her. Lolita threw another black chain & propelled herself above the arm then cut it off with three swift slashes. She ran along the still attached part of the arm and leapt towards the other. Pandora watched in awe as Lolita sliced the other arm in half across the middle as her hair bellowed in the wind in slow-motion, then leapt across several missiles fired at her into the air. She curled into a ball and spun multiple times before doing a downward slash with both blades, through the cockpit & to the ground. As she put away her swords, the top half exploded.

“Whoa! That was fucking amazing!” Pandora exclaimed as she ran up to her.

“It was no big deal.”

“No big deal? That was totally badass! You gotta teach me to do that stuff!”

“More importantly, you need to learn patience & being aware of your surroundings. You messed up what was meant to be a stealth mission. Do you even realize how badly this would be scored?!”


“I’ve seen quite a few rookies who ran head first into things they couldn’t handle. They tend to get the worst fates, like being strung up on an operating table & regularly sliced open and picked clean to learn more about us, since Shinigami don’t die so easily. Is that how you want everything to end?”


“Then get better. A lot better. I’ll see you next week.” Lolita said as she walked off.

Pandora sighed. “Yeah, see you.”

“I don’t recall being mean about it.” Lolita said.

“Well you were.” Pandora replied, with the words on her shirt now saying, “Look at it.”

“Nor was that kill so stylized & elaborate.”

“You’re just being modest.”

Goldia seemed to be floating around & scanning the room as Kate asked, “Why are we even here again?”

“Because I’m finally moving out of my parents place & moving in here.” Ivy replied.

“Well it’s about time.” Amber responded. “What took you so long?”

Ivy shrugged. “Convenience.”

“Hey, I don’t mean to be a bother,” Rosie began. “But could I get a little blood? I haven’t eaten in days and I’m kinda hungry at this point.”

“You could suck some of mine if you want.” Ivy said as Dawn opened a large spot in her hand and out came a large blood tentacle that grabbed some crisps and dragged them back into the hand.

“Yours always has me feeling hot and bothered when I’m done.”

“That’s the 11.2% of aphrodisiac particles in my bloodstream taking effect.”

“I still don’t get how that’s possible.”

“Experiments. For science.”

“For curiosity.” Rosie retorted.

“Um, you could take some of my blood, I guess.” Ruby said as she interrupted. “How much do you need? It doesn’t hurt, does it?”

“Not too much, you won’t pass out; I’ll make sure of that. Over the decades, I’ve learned how to make getting your blood sucked out actually feel good.” Rosie breathed on her neck just before sinking her teeth into her neck as Ruby let out a small moan.

“So what happened after that?” Daisy asked as she watched Rosie & Ruby.

“Well I was rather depressed and didn’t see Lolita for a long while after that.” Pandora said.

“You wouldn’t answer my calls for two months.” Lolita replied.

Rosie bit deep into Ruby’s neck, making her moan loudly. Crystal stared at her for a moment before she said, “Feel free to continue, Pandora.”

About two months later, Lolita was crouched on a cliff, watching a massive building with binoculars when Pandora approached her from behind as she said, “Hey.”

“Nice of you to-” As Lolita turned around she noticed Pandora was dressed just like her.

“Is there a problem?”

“Uhh, no, it’s fine. Anyway, there are at least 57 tangos down there. Our target is a humanoid pig known as The Butcher but taking out his cronies awards bonus points here so feel free to kill people.” Lolita stroked her chin for a moment while Pandora did the same. “It’s likely he’ll be found in the basement or some secluded area.” She tilted her head while Pandora did the same and began to notice Pandora was imitating her.

“Well rest assured, you don’t need to babysit me.” Lolita twirled while Pandora did the same. “I’ve learned a lot over these two months.”

“Very well, I look forward to seeing your personal progress.” Lolita backflipped while Pandora did the same. “Why are you copying me?”

They started breakdancing as Pandora said, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

In a large room beside the entrance, a dozen goons wearing pig masks were carrying around some large boxes. The doors suddenly burst open & Pandora leapt into the room and stabbed one guy threw the head while Lolita slashed two near her in half. Pandora hit another with a backflipping kick then jumped up and hit him with several gunshots then slammed him to the ground with a sledgehammer.

“Hey, you see-“ Pandora paused as she watched Lolita disarming over half a dozen guys and knocking them out with swift blows then trip the last one and hit him with several close RPG blasts then wall bounce him with a hammer, drag him close with a black chain & slice him in half.

They proceeded further, doing all kinds of acrobatics & killing quickly with sword & gunplay before going down some stairs and stopping by a door.

“There are 7 tangos in this room, 2 hostages. Two on the far left, one further right, one in the back, two in the middle, and one a little to the right. I’ll take the left, we’ll breach it. They’re heavily armed but shouldn’t see it coming.” Pandora nodded. “On my mark.” As they bust open the door, they opened fire on the mooks in the room in slow-motion, filling them full of lead and barely missing the civilians who ran out of the room when they were done.

In the very next room, 6 more men wearing pig masks appeared carrying melee weaponry. Lolita turned to Pandora and said, “You go on ahead, find The Butcher before he has a chance to run off.”

“Are you sure?”


Pandora flipped over the six and ran on ahead while Lolita fly kicked one who tried to stop her. Two rushed forward and alternated between attacking as Lolita evaded while moving back. As one tried to fly kick her, she grabbed his foot and threw him at a wall, she then ducked under another attack & kicked the man through a wall. One man leapt at her and did a downward slash that missed as Lolita moved to the left then hopped over another strike and punched through the sword, breaking it and knocking the man across the room. Two men came at her from behind with machetes, she backflipped over one then slid under the other, bounced off the wall and knocked them both out with a hurricane kick. The last attempted to cut her in half from behind with a chainsaw, but she spun round a moment before and caught it with her right hand. While the blade cut deep into her hand and splattered blood, she didn’t flinch and while the man was shocked, Lolita fired a beam of dark energy through his chest. The deep cut healed quickly as Lolita moved on.

Pandora arrived at the lowest area where a large humanoid pig was chopping up a woman on a counter with a machete & the only thing lighting the room was a furnace in the background. As Pandora arrived and pulled out a sword, the Butcher ran for the exit. He then got in an elevator while Pandora just ran up the wall & cut through the bottom of the elevator after he had exited it. He threw bombs at her as she leapt from wall to wall. She jumped off the wall and followed him into a kitchen. She grabbed a pan and slid on it across a long table as she fired at the pig using pistols. He blocked the gun shots and threw swords from a shelf at her. As she dodged them he quickly turned right & ran through another door.

Pandora was briefly interrupted by Ruby’s moans as Rosie continued sucking her blood. Crystal leaned over and whispered, “Are you alright, Ruby?”

Ruby slurred her words. “I felio wandafuuuuuul.”

“Might wanna slow down a little, Rosie.” Ivy said. “Looks like Ruby’s gonna pass out pretty soon.”

Rosie paused briefly to reply, “I’m almost done.” Before sinking her teeth into her neck again.

“I’ll… skip a bit and finish up quick.” Pandora said, while Dawn was now eating popcorn.

Pandora used the elevator and met with Lolita. Knowing that she had taken care of the Butcher, they both proceeded to the exit.

“Was it difficult?” Lolita asked.

“No sweat.” She showed her his head. “We blew his house down.”

“Y’know, he was worth more alive.”

“Should’ve probably mentioned that sooner.”

“Yeah, I was at fault there.”

As they arrived outside, Pandora walked off in the opposite direction as she said, “I’ll see you in a month or so, I guess.”

“For wanting a mentor, you don’t seem to like being mentored very much…I’d like us to spend more time together.”

“We will, next month or something.”

“Why a month?”

“Training, improving, ex cetera.” Pandora then flew off.

“And here I thought I was the anti-social one.” Lolita said.

“Well people change, I suppose.” Pandora replied.

Ruby moaned louder & more frequent as Rosie continued sucking her blood and eventually one long moan just before Rosie stopped. “Alright, I’m done. Thanks, Ruby.” Rosie said.

“Um, could you possibly keep going?” Ruby asked nervously.

“Okay, I guess.” Rosie shrugged.

“I’d like to have a turn next.” Daisy said.

A lot of people I’d care not to mention passed by the room a few times, carrying things in as Ivy spoke. “So is that it?”

“I suppose I could spare 1 more tale.” Pandora replied, while Dawn yawned but remained quiet. 

It was nearly 5 months since the mission with the Butcher. This man in dark blue ninja garb and black headband had recently taken a mission that required 2-6 people. So he went to see his old mentor, that black bald guy I mentioned, and Lolita was there too so she joined them. They went to their local Ammu-Nation in the meantime.

“Since we actually know people, I figure I might as well invite Ricky & Marie.” The ninja said.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Daniel.” Lolita replied.

“Why not? It’s been quite a while since we all got together.” The black man said.

“I guess you’re right, Dwayne.” Lolita responded. 

“I don’t think it was necessary to say our names.” Daniel said.

“I disagree.”

Daniel was customizing his weapons as he talked. “Alright, so we’ll stop by Ricky’s place, then Marie, then we go.” They could very faintly hear the guy behind the till say, “Whaddya buyin?”

“Knowing Marie, it’s best to inform her early.” Dwayne said, while “Whaddya selling?” could be faintly heard as Daniel placed several colourful and bizarre looking guns on the counter.

“Yeah but dropping in on Marie randomly is usually an interesting experience.” Daniel said.

“In terms of what she’s wearing when she answers the door?” Lolita asked.

“That too.” The man behind the till then laughed before saying thank you.

At Ricky’s place, he was currently in bed with two other women when he received a text from Daniel. Oh, he had short blonde hair too. He got up as he said, “Sorry, ladies. Gonna have to take my leave rather shortly.” He put on a black shirt, pants, a leather red open trenchcoat, and black shades. “I’ll be back whenever.” He said before leaving. The others were just down the street and he met up with them. “Hey, thanks for the invite, could ya fill me in on the way there?”

“Sure, we’ll be stopping by Marie’s next anyway.” Daniel replied.

“She never returns my calls these days.”

“She barely returns anyone’s calls.”

So they proceeded to a small looking house, rang the doorbell and remained silent for the moment. Ricky began smoking a few feet away. As Marie opened the door she said, “If you fucking girl scouts ask me once more to buy your shitty cookies, I’m gonna jam them so far up your-” She paused as she noticed them. Marie happened to be the biker chick with spiked pigtails & red streaks in her hair & tattoos on every part of her body. She was also only wearing a black tank top & panties. “Oh, you guys. Bad shit going down?”

“We’re about to go on a mission.” Dwayne began. “Shoot some people, little need to ask questions, blow up anything not important. I assume that’s your thing?”

“I’ll get my stuff.” She yawned and walked off, scratching her ass as she left.

As they waited, Lolita heard someone call for her as Pandora ran over to her. Today she was wearing a short sleeved, leather black top & miniskirt with several black belts around her thighs. “Hey, I heard you’re doing a mission today. Some guys were also saying something about you stalking someone, what’s that about?”

“I’m not stalking anyone, they’re lying. While I appreciate your company, this isn’t really a good time.”

“And here I thought you weren’t that sociable.” Dwayne commented.

“Yeah.” Daniel added. “Who’s your friend?”

Lolita sighed. “Dwayne, Daniel, meet my student, Pandora. Pandora, meet my mentor & Daniel.”

“You couldn’t have added a bit more?” Daniel asked.

“Ahh, so you’re the one Lolita mentioned.” Dwayne said, shaking her hand.

“She mentioned me? What did she say?”

“Positive things.”

“That’s rather vague.”

“Lolita’s quite a vague person.”

“Good point.”

Ricky walked towards her moments later as he said, “So, did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?”

“Just so you know, I’m 15.”


“Well technically I’d be 16 at this point though I was 15 when I died.”

“Where did you come from? There are actually a lot of places where the legal age is 16.”

“Of course you’d know that.” Daniel commented.

Just then, Marie had her normal biker stuff on and shut her door before saying, “Let’s go, bitches.”

“Great to see you again, Marie.” Ricky said.

“Eat a dick.” Marie replied.

Pandora was a little confused until Daniel leaned over and said, “They used to date.”


“And so that happened.” Pandora said, now with the words on her shirt saying, “Impossibu shirt.” Most of the other demon lords had entered the room a little earlier.

“Huh, how did Lolita know so many people then?” Ivy asked.

“I really don’t know.” Pandora replied while Dawn looked around as she yawned.

Meanwhile, Rosie stopped sucking on Ruby’s neck as she said, “I’m pretty full now, I don’t think I could-“




“I think you’ve had enough for one day.”

“I’ll tell you when I’ve had enough, now keep sucking!” Ruby shouted. In the background Dawn transformed and Daisy who noticed her in the middle of transforming quickly grabbed a bag and puked in it.

Crystal hit Ruby with a judo chop, knocking her out. “Sorry about that.”

“So how did that mission go?” Amber asked.

“Ah, yes.” Pandora began, while to her left Dawn had transformed into Pandora while wearing American McGee’s Alice’s outfit. “I guess I’ll skip ahead a small bit.” 

The six of them were slowly approaching their destination, which was a massive church in the middle of a field. They reached a cliff overlooking the area.

“So what’s the job, Dan?” Ricky asked.

“Well, corrupt nuns, priests, and all sorts of these guys are dealing illegal drugs. The Pope has a hand in this too, and we’re gonna take ‘em out.”

“I call dibs on the Pope.” Marie said.

“You can’t just call dibs.” Lolita replied.

“Pretty sure I just did.”

“Do you really need the points that badly?” Dwanye asked.

“My place is a shitheap. Gotta get it fixed up.” She then noticed Pandora. “Who the hell is that girl anyway?”

“That’s Pandora, supposedly Lolita is mentoring her.” Ricky replied.

“Well I’ll be damned.” She moved over beside her.

“Is there a problem?” Pandora asked.

Marie began playing with her hair for a few moments, looked her over before she began groping her from roughly 5 seconds, then reached up her miniskirt, at which point Pandora backed off and covered herself.

“What on earth are you doing?!?” Pandora exclaimed.

“Calm down, kid, just wanted to look around a little.” She turned to Lolita and said, “Congrats. Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

“It wasn’t something you needed to know.” Lolita said as the six of them made their way down the cliff towards the church.

“You’re a real bitch, lo…and I love ya for it.”

“Looking forward to seeing what you can do, kid.” Ricky said.

“Same here.” Daniel said. “I’ve heard you’re pretty talented, Lolita had a much harder time starting out.”

“I wouldn’t want to put any pressure on you, but I’m also curious, seeing how I taught Lolita a lot.” Dwayne added.

“You’re setting my teaching skills surprisingly high, guys.” Lolita commented just before Marie kicked open the church doors and the group poured bullets into many of the people in the church as they split up.

They were doing all sorts of crazy acrobatics & defying physics as they cut down the people while throwing things each other’s way to keep the flow going. Ricky wielded a double sided golden dragon styled blade that deflected tons of bullets as he twirled it around him then disarmed the two & sliced their heads off & kicked them away. Marie was busy slicing people apart with her chainsaw then tackled another & dug the chainsaw through his stomach as they slid along a bench, she then held up her chainsaw & cut the bodies thrown in half. Daniel grabbed a pair of legs and whacked one guy across the room, then dodged a punch & hit his balls with a flaming razorblade yo-yo, followed by walking the dog with two yo-yo’s on the next guy. One guy landed beside Dwayne & immediately attacked so he pulled out his sword and parried the blow, using Shinigami Overload within that split second and sliced him in half, followed by a dozen more swings from the extra four arms. He then grabbed the arm of another man & broke it, then kicked him into the air. As Pandora flew through the air, she hit him with a diving kick and used him like a skateboard. She blasted two guys with a shotgun & quickly grabbed a second lying on the floor as she passed it. She spun in circles, blasting numerous enemies. One with a sword attempted to stab her but she threw one shotgun into the air, pulled out a sword & flipped as she sliced his head off then caught the shotgun.

“That’s worth quite a bit of points.” Daniel commented.

“Shit, wish I’d done that.” Marie added.

“Hold on a minute,” Lolita said. “It’s Shinigami Overdrive, not Overload.”

Pandora shrugged. “Whatever.” Dawn still looked like Pandora but in a straitjacket.

In one of the rooms, the pope who wore white with gold colored outlines along his robes & hat, and an old woman dressed as a nun were at a table drinking tea when they heard all the commotion going on. The old woman got her dual golden desert eagles and left. The six of them were running through the weirdly massive church slaughtering everyone they encountered. As the old woman showed up, Pandora and Marie ducked behind a wall as she fired at them.

“Whoa, are those titanium gold, .357 magnum desert eagles?!?” Pandora asked in shock. “That’s awesome!”

“Don’t get your panties wet just yet, we’re still in the middle of something.” Marie said before leaping at her with her own guns.

They both did all kinds of ridiculous acrobatics as neither of them scored a hit with either bullets or weapons. In the middle of the others gunning down nuns, Daniel and Ricky briefly watched the other two then Ricky asked, “That chick is human, right?”

“That word tends not to mean anything nowadays.” Daniel replied.

Lolita was cutting down numerous people before Pandora swung in and blasted someone behind her. “Hey, I noticed your friends have some different weapons. Your mentor has this shiny red sword & that weird girl has that rainbow chainsaw, that ninja guy has crystalized yo-yo’s, and the perv guy has that dragon blade thing. When can I buy those?” Pandora asked.

“You can’t normally, you get weapons like that as rewards, and drops from boss-like enemies.” 

“Also, are you and Dwayne a couple?”


“Why? Is it because he’s black?”

“What on earth brought this up?”

“I’d heard black people are bigger than average. Is that true? Is it because it couldn’t fit?”

“Please stop talking.”

“How big is it anyway?”

“Pandora, please.”

Suddenly a Manticore burst through the walls and tackled Pandora, why it was here I have no idea. She kicked it off her and then dodged its swings as it tried to claw her. She flipped over it, throwing several knives in its back, and then hopped over its tail as it spun round. It attempted to stab her repeatedly till Pandora eventually sliced off its tail. As it howled in pain, Pandora quickly slid over & did a 180 degree slash which cut deep into its throat, then blasted off its head & half its neck with a one-handed shotgun.

“Nice moves there, Pandora.” Ricky commented.

“Thanks, thought it would be a better finish if I didn’t look when I blasted the head off.”

“I suppose I could show you a better finish later on.”

“I’m still 15, just for the record.”

“You said 16 earlier.”

“15 now.”

As Marie was fighting the nun, Dwayne passed by, saying, “As you’re already a little busy, I’m sure you won’t mind if I handle the Pope.”

“Sure, go nuts.” Marie replied, dodging several knives.

As the Pope continued to drink tea, Dwayne entered the room from behind him, sheathed his sword and placed it by a wall, along with his shades. The Pope got up and removed his robe, showing that he’d been working out quite a bit. Then the two charged at each other.

“This is starting to get pretty silly.” Crystal commented.

“This really happened.” Pandora replied.

Dawn, who still looked like Pandora, now wore a black skirt, a white long sleeved shirt with the top button undone, and glasses. “I believe she’s nearly done, please wait just a little while longer.” She pushed up her glasses. Pandora looked at her while Dawn did the same.

Dwayne hit him with a roundhouse followed by several punches. The Pope evaded one and hit him with numerous punches and kicks but was then grabbed and thrown across the room. Then all kinds of nonsense happened with running on walls, sliding on chairs while countering blows, tons of acrobatics while seeming glued to the ceiling and all types of nonsense that’s too ridiculous to mention. The Pope eventually died as Dwayne hit him with a palm thrust hard enough to stop his heart. As he died, the Pope said nothing. Dwayne also said nothing, put his shades back on, picked up his sword & left.

As the others were busy cleaning up, Marie walked up to Lolita and Pandora before asking, “Hey, where did you get your tattoo?”


“What area?”

“Upper left thigh.” Pandora replied.

“The thigh…are you a slut?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!?”

“That’s not the first spot you’d expect to stick a tattoo on. Lo, tell her where you got yours.”

“My back I suppose.”

“So where’s yours?” Pandora asked.

“Got it on my arm first, then I eventually started getting one for every part of my body. I had to get 500 pistol kills for one on my stomach but it was worth it.”


“So yeah, that’s it.” Pandora said, with her shirt now only saying, “Look.” on it.

“Really?” Kate asked as Goldia wondered into the room with Poison, Damien, Leo & Gary.

“There was a few small bits but it’s not important.”

“Why did you tell us these things again?” Dawn asked, who now looked like her normal self.

“I’ve received gotten word they’ll be a new Shinigami added to our forces soon. Male, Age 14, 168cm. I’ve decided I’m going to mentor him and slowly mould him into being my ideal boyfriend.”

“You’re letting out the crazy again, Pandora.”

Rosie turned to Ivy and asked, “How long have we got left?”

“About 3 more after this one in total.”


“I mean, around 2 hours. Y’know, since Pandora told a story, I guess I’ll tell one too.”

“Pandora told one?” Goldia asked.

“Uhh, yeah, you were here for that?”

“I don’t recall it.”

“Very funny. Anyway, since there’s some time left, I’ll go over the early days when Harry and I first met, and I won’t leave out embarrassing things either.”

“I wanna hear it!” Toby exclaimed.

“The hell’s with him?” Dawn asked.

“He gets like that if you mention anything that may seem ‘Vanilla.’” Richard replied.

“I’m not sure that’s a good thing.” Poison said, turning to Ivy.

“I do, Damien, you leave the room.”

“I don’t believe you have the authority to be giving me orders, besides, I’m not going to react negatively in any way. You won’t even notice I’m here.”

“Well okay…”

So this takes place a while after Damien was dead and in the Underworld or something. Poison came to Ivy’s place to ask if he was around and was greeted by his mother that told him he was dead. His hair was down and he wore a typical dark blue shirt & jeans. He was shocked as Damien was one of his closest friends and so he left, clearly depressed. He stopped as he heard an explosion at one side of the house, and saw Ivy fly out the window right towards him. He moved one step to the left and caught her before setting her down. Ivy had long hair between shoulder & waist length here.

Ivy dusted herself off as she said, “Good catch, would’ve been fine but still.”

“Oh, you’re Ivy, right?”

“Yeah, who the hell are you?”

“Well I-ahh, nevermind, just take care of yourself.” Poison said as he walked away.

“What happened next?!” Toby exclaimed.

“Keep your shirt on.” Ivy replied.

“Wait, I thought Damien & Harry were a couple?” Daisy asked.

Ivy shrugged. “I guess you could call them that.”

“No you can’t.” Poison responded.

“But then Harry was cheating on Damien with you!” Daisy exclaimed.

After a long period of silence, Poison said, “You’re an idiot.”

“A total idiot.” Damien added.

“The biggest idiot to have ever lived.” Ivy added.

“Ehh?!? What did I do?!”

About a few days after that, Ivy was in a store purchasing some sweets because they taste really good and brought a whole bunch to the counter, only to discover she didn’t have enough for them all. For some reason Poison happened to be walking by outside and kindly gave her the money she needed then simply left, which was just weird. About a week later he encountered her again with three boys who seemed to be disturbing her. He fly kicked one then took out the other two with a bunch of wrestling moved before turning to her.

“You alright?”

“I could have done that myself. Thanks anyway, I guess. Who the hell are you anyway?”

“I’m Harry, I used to be friends with your brother.”

“Oh, huh. Well see ya.” Ivy waved a quick goodbye & left.

There was a midget further away in a white large trenchcoat & hat which covered his face except for his glowing red eyes. He sat on a chair playing a guitar as he randomly said, “I wish a cute girl would talk to me.” Poison stared at him strangely.

Nearly two weeks later, Ivy was browsing sections in an electronics store and bumped into someone. As she apologized she quickly noticed it was Poison again. “…Are you stalking me?”

“What? No! I was here first, you ran into me.”

“I bet you wanted that to happen, stalker. Do you stalk everyone you have an interest in?”

“I don’t have any interest in little girls.”

“I’m not little! I’m probably older than you are. I’m XX8.”

Poison sighed. “XX2.”

Ivy laughed. “See, you’re the kid!” 

“Whatever, you’re a surprisingly obnoxious person. Anyway, I came for some new headphones.” He picked up a pair and left.

As he walked towards the till he saw the midget who muttered, “I wish a cute girl would call me a stalker.” Poison eyed him suspiciously again.

“I didn’t want to do this, but mind if I add some bits?” Poison asked.

“Be my guest.”

Poison was at the arcade the next day playing some random fighting game with Toby as they talked.

“So do you know this girl called Ivy?” Poison asked.

“Batman villain?”

“No, Damien’s sister.”

“Oh, she seems pretty mean, and angry all the time.”

“I feel that too, maybe it’s just due to depression. I mean, her brother died a while ago so I’ll make her feel better.”


“I’ll think about it…how did you block that super?”

“I memorized its properties.”

“But you were wide open, it’s a game, that’s not how to works.”

“Memorized it, dude.” Toby shrugged.

“I’m in this?!?” Toby said in shock. “Woooooooooooaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh…” After a period of silence, Kate walked over, hugged him for a few moments & then moved back.

A few days later, Poison was sitting by the beach, skipping stones across the water. Ivy walked towards him from the other side and smirked as she placed her hands on her hips.

Poison sighed as he muttered, “Guess I had to see her eventually.”

“Stalking me again, I see. I mean, I know I’m so amazingly cute and all but that’s pretty pathetic.”

“Get over yourself.” He replied, getting up. “I know you’re trying to cope and all, but it’s really agitating.”

“Well I think you’re a stalker, a pathetic loser, an idiot and a baka thingy.”

“Baka just means idiot in Japanese, idiot.”

“That’s what you are! Your haircut is lame, your fashion sense sucks, you’ve got the personality of cardboard and you’re totally beta! You're probably like 4 inches too!”

“Fair enough, you’ve said your piece, now I’ll say mine.”

“Lay it on me, pussy!”

“You behave like an obnoxious spoiled brat, it’s no wonder I really don’t see you with friends. You’re so ungrateful of everything, you insult me regularly while barely even knowing me, and the way you talk about yourself is hilarious.” Ivy looked worried as he spoke. “You talk about fashion sense while you wear that stupid thing you call a dress, and you may be cute from a distance but up close that goes out the window. Hell, you’ve got no sex appeal whatsoever for your age, you look like you just turned 12; you’re flat as an ironing board in all areas, how do I know you’re not a little boy instead?” Ivy got more angered as he went on. “You may just be the most lacking person I’ve ever seen, plus your personality is even worse. It’s stressful to come up with any decent traits you might have.”

“Enough!” Ivy yelled, as she became covered in flames and drew her scythe. “You dare make fun of me?! I’ll kill you, bastard!”

Poison smirked as he drew his sword. “Didn’t think it’d come to this, but sure, I’m game. Your move, little girl.”

A disembodied voice out of nowhere then said, Rebel 1, action!

Poison backdashed while Ivy airdashed at him as she yelled, “I’ll tear you apart!” She then tripped him and slammed her scythe into the ground then kicked him back. As she charged at him again, he blocked two swings then slashed her several times, kicked her into the air and leaped up, hitting her with more rapid slashes then knocking her to the ground. She threw her scythe which he jumped over and threw his sword which she deflected; as he landed they traded punches and kicks before they began grappling each other’s hands.

“I’d rather not have to hurt you.” Poison said.

“That’s unfortunate, since I really want to kill you, baaaaaaaaka.” She smirked then kneed him in the crotch before punching him through a mountain nearly a mile away. As Poison got to his feet, Ivy came charging right at him but missed trying to punch him in the face as he ducked. “Gotcha!” Ivy exclaimed as she quickly wrapped her tail around his neck and dragged him along as she flew around, smacking him into objects.  She laughed while saying all kinds of puns that hurt more than being strangled. It eventually got so unbearable he managed to remove her grip enough to bite her tail, making her let go completely. As they landed, Poison tried to slide tackle her, but she activated her super and tried to hit him with a fiery punch, but Poison move cancelled the slide into a beam of wind energy that sent her flying.

Poison walked over and helped her up as he said, “Just so you know, I was deliberately making you angry, figured it would make it easier to let it all out. Have you calmed down now?”

Ivy slapped away his hand. “You’re still an ****! I won’t forget this, I’ll be back to kill you for sure!” Ivy ran off in the other direction.

The midget was in the background and suddenly muttered, “I wish a cute girl would beat me up.” Poison opened his mouth to say something, but merely sighed and walked off.

“So what, you had no friends at all?” Daisy asked. “That’s so sad.”

“N-no, I had Amber I guess, but she was more like people I sometimes talked to.” Ivy replied.

Amber shrugged. “Sure felt that way.”

“I somewhat remember that.” Poison began. “I was gonna attack her from behind at one point but I felt that might be a bad idea.”

“I wish I had that sense earlier…” Ruby responded.

“You know what helps me get through bad days?” Pandora began. “Thinking about all the horrible ways a day could go wrong, like getting cut up into little bits, or having your body violently gangraped in a dingy alleyway, or having some expensive food you recently bought fall all over the floor because gravity hates you. If these things don’t happen, I consider it an alright day.”

“Damnit, Pandora, you’re making it really hard not to hug you right now.” Kate replied.

“I apologize if I upset you in some way.”

“No need for that, come get your hug.”

“No.” Pandora replied, moving further away without actual movement.

“Needs more cuteness.” Ruby commented.

“No it doesn’t.” Ivy glared at her.

“Yup, because Ivy is cute.”

“No, no I’m not.”

“Yup, very cute.”

“Stop it. Right now, just stop.”

“I’m just being honest; I can’t help it if you’re cute.”

Ivy took deep breaths. “I know you’re trying to piss me off, and yet its working, but I want to drop this immediately.”

“Anger is cute.”

Ivy tackled her & they rolled around punching each other.

Dawn sighed. “I’m still kinda bored, anyone wanna go do something fun?”

“Oh! We could go skydiving!” Pandora exclaimed. “Seriously, here me out, it’s like, the best! Feeling the wind hit you full force while having that great view, the slow peaceful decent after you pull the shoot, it’s so good.”

Lolita turned to Dawn and quietly asked, “Is she okay?”

“No idea, she rarely speaks so enthusiastically about things.” Dawn replied.

“Very funny, you guys.” Pandora said, getting up and walking over to Damien who sat in a chair. “Don’t knock skydiving till you’ve tried it.” She tried to sit on Damien’s lap but he quickly moved to the right, making her fall on her ass.

“Can’t you fly?” Dawn asked. “What fun would it be then?”

“Duh, don’t fly, just find a steep cliff and only use a parachute.” As she tried to sit on his lap again, he moved to the left.

“I suppose I could give it a try.” Lolita said.

“You really should, I insist.” Damien continued to keep moving his chair as Pandora ran after him.

“Is it skydiving you like or the people you’re doing it with?” Dawn asked.

“That’s a dumb question.”

"You know what I think you'd also find fun? Twerking."

"I've heard you mention that before, what is that?"

"Well in a nutshell, it's the rhythmic gyrating of the lower fleshy extremities in a lascivious manner, with the intent to elicit sexual arousal or laughter in ones intended audience."

"Intriguing, I'll have to try it at some point."

"I can tell you clearly have no idea what I just said."

“What are you doing?” Lolita asked as Damien was currently pushing Pandora’s ass away from him as she was trying to sit on his lap.

“Pandora is being a nuisance.” Damien replied.

“Damien is being a jerk.” Pandora responded.

Lolita got up and walked over to them, making them both pause for a moment. Lolita then sat on Damien’s lap. After a moment of silence, Pandora sat on Lolita’s lap. Ivy and Ruby rolled back into their original spots, Ivy sat up and continued.


Ivy began to spend more of her time doing what she said, trying to kill Poison. She attempted to do this with odd plans like taking some bees & pouring growth potions on them, trying to bomb numerous stores, and trying to flatten him with several traps placed on one particular street, but they were all foiled in one way or another. One day, as he was walking past a hill, he noticed a large boulder up the hill with Ivy waiting behind it. He decided to stop and sit down, waiting to see just how long she would wait for him. After an hour of waiting, Poison ran off while Ivy was busy checking the time but she quickly chased him. As he turned into an alleyway, Ivy followed him in but lost him. He then dropped down from above and hit her with a german suplex before speeding off.

Due to being caught off-guard, Ivy bought some wrestling tapes and decided she’d watch through them all that entire night and learn the moves. “That foolish boy, he got lucky but soon I’ll show him by beating him the same way. Haaaaaahahahaha!” As she laughed, someone yelled at her for disturbing them in their sleep from across the street, so she remained silent.

The next day, by asking a whole bunch of people, she found out where he lived and rang the doorbell. As his mother answered the door wearing a modest orange top & pants Ivy spoke. “Good morning, is your son home by chance?”

“Are you a friend of his?”

“No, I’m just here to kill him.”

“Ah, just one moment.” She spun round and shouted, “Harry, there’s a girl down here that wants to kill you!” As he came down she asked, “Have you got protection?”

“It’s nothing li-”

“Do you have it? Yes or no.”


“Then you two have fun.” She said with a smile before leaving.

“So why are you here?” Poison asked.

“We have unfinished business, and I’m here to kill you.”

“Still? Geez, they were just a few insults.”

“They were really hurtful insults!”

“I apologized didn’t I? If I didn’t I do now.”

“Well aren’t you gonna invite me in?”

“I’d rather not.”

“That’s rude! I come all this way and yet you leave me standing out here?”

“Fine, geez, come in already.”

The midget was standing further back in the hallway and muttered, “I wish a cute girl would come visit me.”

Poison calmly asked, “Why are you in my house?”

They went up to his room, which aside from some comics & junk food wrappers being on the floor & table, the place wasn’t very dirty. Very shortly after entering his room, Ivy put him in a full nelson.

“Is it not clean enough? I wasn’t actually expecting guests.” Poison said.

“Fool! I’m going to beat you the way you beat me last time!”


Ivy let him go and crossed her arms as she smirked. “I spent most of the night watching wrestling reruns so I can beat you. Foolish boy! I shall crush your spirit with my array of moves and make you cry!”

“Well aren’t you just adorable…”

“Do not mock me! Prepare yourself, foolish boy!” Ivy said as she charged at him.

Within a minute, Poison had her in a boston crab and asked, “Do you give up?”

“Foolish boy! This is nothing I can’t muster; I shall repay this ten times ov-Ahh!” She paused as he bent her back further.

“I can keep this up all day.”

“I’ll never give-AHH-alright! Stop! Stop!”

“Still can’t hear you…”

“I give up! You win! Please, just stop, it’s gonna come out!”

Poison immediately stopped. “Whoa, don’t get anything on the carpet, geez.”

Ivy tackled him to the ground as she yelled, “Sucker!” and started punching him repeatedly as he shielded himself. She stopped moments later and began panting in between words. “Fine…I admit you win…this round, but…it’s far from over…”

“I still don’t get you.” Poison replied.

The midget sat in a chair nearby and muttered, “I wish a cute girl would straddle me & pant a lot as if we just did it.”

“Why the hell are you in my room?!?”

His mother knocked on the door and quickly entered the room with a tray of food. There was an awkward silence as she placed the tray on the bed & said, “I’m not raising any more kids, just letting you know right now.” before leaving.

Ivy quietly got off Poison and then said, “Well I’ll be going shortly.”

“I’d prefer you didn’t come around without calling.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Ivy grabbed most of the food on the tray and left as she said, “Later, loser.”

“You too, little brat.”

“What happened next?!?” Toby exclaimed.

“My lady, I feel that my operating system may accidently install diabetes.exe if I intake too much sugar. I may be forced to leave.” Goldia said.

“My lady? You seriously make her call you that?” Dawn asked.

“No, she started doing it on her own; I’d rather she used my name like everyone else. Also, fair warning, but this is where it starts to get really vanilla.” Ivy replied.

“YES!” Toby exclaimed as he threw his hands up.

“Ugh. I feel ill already.” Dawn continued to eat more food.

“I’d still prefer you leave, Damien.” Ivy said.

“I can understand your embarrassment but I don’t believe I’ll be moving for quite a while.” Damien replied, as both Lolita & Pandora were still sitting on his lap.

A few days later, Poison went to Ivy’s house. Her dad answered the door and there was an awkward silence before he finally said, “Ahh, you’re the boy that’s fucking my daughter.”

“I’m not fucking anyone, sir.”

“Why not? You don’t like her?”

“Never said that, sir, just not in that way.”

“Calm down, you don’t need to suck up to me.”

“I’ll try not to, sir.”

“Well I’ve got work, Ivy is upstairs.” He said before leaving.

Poison went up the stairs and knocked on her door before entering. She was lying on her bed, using a laptop. She had messy hair and was wearing a long white dress shirt.

“Hey.” She greeted him.

“Is there a reason you’re half naked?”

“It’s my room, moron. Am I turning you on?” She asked with a smirk.

“You wish. Just thought I’d drop by so you don’t see me unexpectedly instead & ruin my day.”

“Kay, I’ll let you see yourself out.” As he began to leave, she continued. “Oh, um, this weekend I may be doing some casual stuff and there’s a cinema nearby, just thought you’d know.”


“Won’t really be doing anything important that day.”


“I mean, I’ll have most of it free, and I guess I wouldn’t mind any company or something.”

Poison rolled his eyes. “You wanna go see a movie that day?”

“I’ll think about it.”

Poison shrugged and left. On the way out he saw the midget who muttered, “I wish I was in a cute girl’s room.”

“Not sure what’s stopping you…”

“It’s getting pretty late, Ivy.” Amber said.

“Alright, I’ll speed it up a little.”

And so a few days later, Poison waited outside by a fountain with his hair now spiked up, and wearing his normal black jacket, shirt & jeans. The midget was standing further away and muttered, “I wish I had a date with a cute girl.”

“Dude, who are you?”

Ivy showed up pretty shortly wearing a pure white dress along with a white sun hat & matching high heels. 

“I don’t remember it that well, but I don’t think you were wearing that dress.” Poison said.

“Well it’s my story so I’ll make any changes I feel like.”

“You look…amazing.” Poison said in awe.

“Is if I’d be anything less.” She placed her hands on her hips & smiled, then quickly frowned. “You look like a dork that’s trying too hard.”

“Your obnoxious attitude has no boundaries. Just so we’re clear, is this technically a date?”

“N-no! It’s just two people hanging out is all!”

“Alright, let’s go see that movie.”

And so they went they went to see Saw 14. Ivy kept stealing Poison’s popcorn while doing her best to keep hers out of reach so he instead grabbed a bag of sweets she had and ate some, so she punched him in retaliation.

As they left the cinema, Poison said, “It was okay, I guess.”

Ivy shrugged. “I personally thought they started running out of ideas around Saw 11.”
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« Reply #437 on: 04 December, 2013, 01:12:41 am »

Didn't even notice it cut it off.
Next they went to an arcade, where out of the many games they played, Ivy won the most, and of course she rubbed her victory in his face to the point of annoyance. While Poison briefly left to go to the bathroom, Ivy played a crane game numerous times and failed to grab a stuffed bear, to the point that she nearly punched through the glass. As Poison came back, he quickly noticed the problem.

“You want the bear, huh?”

“No,” She crossed her arms and turned away. “I don’t need it. It’s just some dumb doll which I'll get bored of in a day or so, no big deal, besides I'll find something much better later on."

"Here you go." Poison said, handing her the bear.


"Don't ask."

Ivy turned her back to him as she said, "I appreciate your efforts of going through such lengths to get this item."

"A 'thank you' would've been enough."

Kate keeled over and said, “Your story, it’s so…so…hhhhhnnnnnnnggggggggg.” She clutched her chest as she fell on her back and started spazzing out while foaming at the mouth.

“Shouldn’t we get her to a hospital?” Daisy asked.

Most of them shrugged while Poison replied, “Eh, she’ll be fine.”

As they walked around, Ivy’s foot somehow got caught in a crack in the street and bent it back somewhat. The pain made her fall down and exclaim, “Oww! Stupid fucking heels! Why the hell did I wear this shit?! God fucking dammit!”

“Can you walk?” Poison asked.

“I dunno but it still hurts.”

“Alright, guess I’ll carry you.”


“Like a prin-”

“I know what you mean! It’s unnecessary, I’ll be-” He picked her up and started carrying her in his arms as he walked. “Wait! Put me down, ****! This is embarrassing!”

“All the more reason to do it.”

Ivy took out a paper bag and covered her head. “I’m not gonna let everyone see me like this.”

“Don’t make me force it off.”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

And so Poison tugged at the bag while Ivy kept pulling it down till they eventually fell over.

Goldia was in the middle of rebooting while Dawn seemed disgusted. “Oh man, everything I eat will be tasting like vanilla for days…”

“More!” Toby exclaimed.

Fastforwarding past a few more scenes for the benefit of peoples health, they were walking through the streets once more.

“Hey, let’s go eat.” Ivy said.

“Where you wanna go? There’s WcDonalds, Sandwich King, DFC, Whitneys…”

“Doesn’t really matter which.”

“Alright, well I’ll pay for it either way.”

“It’s okay, I got money this time so I’ll buy it myself.”

“I insist that I pay for your meal.”

“No! I’m paying for my own meal and that’s final!”

“I really don't min-”

"I'm buying my meal, dammit, and I'm buying your meal too!"



Skipping the next bit, after getting their meals they decided to eat in a park. The one part of the park they were planning to go to was crowded with couples that were having sex out in the open. In complete silence, they turned around and went to the other side of the park and sat on a bench.

“So how do you even make money anyway?” Ivy asked as she began eating.

“Doing dirty jobs like a GTA protagonist.”

Ivy shrugged. “Fair enough.”

“Enjoying your date?” Poison asked, taking a sip from his drink.

“Ye-it’s not a date!”

“Well I enjoyed myself a lot today.”

“Yeah, I did too.” Ivy smiled. “Still think you look like a dork trying too hard.”

“What, this isn’t cool?”

“No. Do you own a motorcycle too because you thought it would be cool?”

“…Yeah, actually.”

After an awkward silence, Ivy laughed. “That’s so lame, dude…I’d still like a ride though.”

“Are you always such an ****?”

“You always seem to be a dick for some reason.”

“Pretty sure you were an **** long before me. Fine, I’ll stop being a dick if you stop being an ****.”

“Okay, you can be a pussy instead.” Ivy picked up one of the drinks as she talked. “So if you’re not stalking me, why do you care so much?”

“Huh? Beyond you just being a cute girl, I feel I owe Damien and I felt you could use the help.”

“Harry only helps girls, after all.” Damien commented.

“That’s so not true!” Poison replied.

“Just for the record,” Ivy began. “If you cheated on me with one of your harem bitches, I’m allowed to do the same.”

“I don’t even have a harem…”


“What reason would I have to do that anyway?”

“I know, right? None at all, I am the best girl, after all.”

“The most obnoxious too…”

“Best girl is debatable.” Ruby said, glaring at Ivy.

“I agree.” Kate added as she got up.

Shifty-eyed, Ivy replied, “Wanna take this outside?”

“Guys, the time?” Rosie commented.

“Oh right.”

“So you’re just taking pity on me, huh?” Ivy asked.

“No, I actually like you, and I like to help people.”

“You ever thought that you care too much about helping others but can’t truly help yourself?”

“…I can totally understand that feeling. By the way…”


“That drink was mine.”

Ivy stopped for a moment, shrugged and kept drinking anyway. Moving on a little later, Poison dropped Ivy off at her house as it was getting dark.

“Thanks for today, it was…enjoyable.” Ivy said.

“Good to know you enjoyed the date.”

“Yeah, I really d-it wasn’t a date!”

Poison laughed before leaving. “You take care now, work on your act a little.”

“Die in a fire, ****!”

“Goodnight to you too!”

And so they went on other date visits such as going to Sea World, which was a little boring, going to a theme park for a weekend, which was awesome, and watching the fireworks on a hill someday after that.

“Isn’t this view just awesome?” Ivy asked.

“Yeah, do you regularly come up here?”

“Nah, found it a long while ago though…hey, you wanna fuck?”

After a long period of silence, Poison asked, “Are you a slut?”

“I’m a pervert, not a slut. There’s a difference. We should go round your place since your parents aren’t home.”

“While that’s true, how do you know this? Are you spying on me or something?”

“Doesn’t matter, let’s go.” Ivy said, dragging him back.

When they reached Poison’s room, Ivy began undressing.

“I’m not sure I can do this.” Poison said.


“Numerous reasons.”

“Such as?”

“Well, first of all you’re Damien’s younger sister so that makes it awkward, you look like a little kid which is somewhat off-putting-”

“Stop there. I’m more than just Damien’s sister. I’m old enough to make my own decisions, whatever they may be. Second, you think that doesn’t bother me? Half the people I know got older but I have yet to get my growth spurt, besides nobody is here so what difference does it make what two people do behind closed doors.”

“Guess you make a good point, but a major issue is that I’m not physically attracted to you.”



“So you don’t like me?”

“I do, you’re fun, and cute and I enjoy your company these days, I’m just not sexually attracted to you.”

“So...this is it then?"

“Not necessarily. I may not be attracted to little girls...but I'm willing to make an exception."

Dawn shook her head. "What a pedo."

“I believe I still have a list of preferred traits.” Ivy said, taking out a note. “Somewhere between shoulder length & waist length hair, any eye color besides green & orange, 5’3” or above, cup size somewhere between B to DD range and no more than 3 tattoos.”

“Half of those are untrue.” Poison replied.


“Well I’m not gonna totally lie.”

“I believe that a true breast lover should love breasts of all sizes, what’s most important is the shape.” Damien commented.

After a period of silence, Lolita removed Pandora from her lap and got up. “Damien, I feel it may be best that you really do leave.”

He sighed. “Fine, I’ll bake a cake or something.”

“I’ll do that.”

“It’s alright, you stay here-”

“No! I’m going to bake the cake & you’re going to genuinely like it!”

“I suppose I will.”

Poison then whispered to Pandora, "Is Lolita a bad cook?"

"No, just average, but doesn't like to be told hers is 'the best', due to being self-conscious and will likely spend half an hour in the bathroom if told so, and won't come out unless you say the right things."

"I'm guessing this actually happened."

"What tipped you off?"

“Are you sure this won’t hurt you?” Poison asked.

“Relax, I’ve prepared myself for this. I stuck my tail up there on many occasions to see how far I can stretch it. It hurt the first time when I removed this thin wad of chewing gum or something that was up there, but I should be fine now. It’s not like yours is 15 inches or something…it’s not, is it? Because I don’t think you’d fit in more than half at best.”

“It’s not. Though it wasn’t technically my idea, I’ve got protection.”

“Protection from what?”

After a short explanation, Ivy gasped.

“Sex makes babies?!?” She asked in shock. “The fuck is this?!”

“Let me just say your idiocy is adorable.”

“A-are you sure? You’re not bullshitting me?”

“See previous comment.”

“B-but they do this in the comics and movies all the time and it’s no big deal for them!”

“What comics & movies are these? Anyway, relax, nothing bad will happen.”

“How can I relax? What would I do if I got pregnant in this body? I know, I’ll heat up my body temperature, burn the fetus and pull it out.”

“While I can understand your problem, that’s a pretty morbid thing to say.”

“Wait a sec, I’ll just melt the gooey stuff! Okay, it’s best you pull out afterwards so I don’t heat up your thingy too.”

“Fine. Whatever.”

“I’m going to stop there because I’d rather not go into detail about what happened.” Ivy said.

Goldia suddenly sat up and said, “But I really want to hear this part.”

“Same here.” Pandora added.

Dawn shrugged. “Been listening the whole way through, I’d like to hear the rest.”

“I’d like to know too.” Ruby said. “For, uhh…research, yeah.”

“I’m curious as well what went down that night.” Gary added.

Most of the others were in full agreement about this.

“I’m not telling.” Ivy said, prompting others to voice their disappointment and boo her & Kate to throw things at her. “Fine, I’ll tell you.”

“C’mon, you’re seriously doing this?” Poison asked.

“It was a long time ago; I’ll just mention the main details briefly. The first 10-15 minutes was really awkward since we didn’t really know what we were doing that well. Also since my body wasn’t as big, it took a little while to become accustomed to the size. We then put a movie on and copied the things shown on screen, though acting it out & using similar dialogue just felt dumb. So we just did our own thing and it was much better. We did it for around six hours, I think.”

“Six hours?” Rosie asked. “That’s a joke, right?”

Lolita poked her head out to say, “I’m sure she’s quite serious.”

“You’re not gonna go into detail?” Dawn asked. “This part sounds hilarious.”

“No. Go draw a doujinshi if you wanna imagine it.”

“I’ll draw it!” Toby raised his hand.

“I was kidding, don’t do it. But I will go over one last part.”

Ivy and Poison were covered up to their necks by the sheets on the bed.

“Well that was pretty fun.” Ivy said.

“I’d assume so, considering what time it is.”

“You didn’t have to be as gentle as that, I’m not a twig, y’know.”

“Sorry for not knowing your limit.”

“My limit? Ha! I could handle more than you could dish out, boy.”

“With that body? I might accidently break you in two.”

After a period of silence, Ivy turned to her side to face him. “For the record, I don’t hate you.”

“I don’t hate you either.” And then they cuddled.

The midget who watched this muttered, “I wish I had a significant other to cuddle with in bed.”

They both stared at him then Ivy asked, “Who the hell is that?”

“I wish I knew.”

“And that’s that.” Ivy said.

Toby was cheering while Dawn puked in a bag. Goldia gave her a thumbs up.

Sakura shrugged. “I felt it needed a bit of NTR.”

“NOOOOOOO!” Toby yelled as he punched her through the window, then realized what he had done. “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it!”

Leo shrugged. “Still a better love story than-“

Rosie placed her hand on his shoulder. “Better not finish that sentence.”

“Back on my planet, love was a pretty small necessity…”

As Lolita came into the room with a big cake, Pandora randomly looked over at Poison as she said, “You looked.”

“What? No I didn’t.”

“You did. If only for a split second but I saw you look at my shirt.”

“Can I wear your shirt?” Kate asked.

“No, besides I haven’t washed this one in a while and I’ve been sweating a bit recently so it probably smells somewhat.”

“Pandora, please.”

“Sorry, that’s not really something anyone wants to hear.”

“No, please continue.”

Pandora sighed. “Why do you want the shirt anyway?”

“I want your scent.”

“Excuse me?”

“I need to know what your scent is. I strive to find out things about all the people I know, given the chance. What their pee tastes like, how many times they turn when sleeping, all specific sizes, what parts of a person’s body are the softest, firmest or most grab-able areas, as well as the sensitive areas.”

“The more I know about you, the more you scare me.”

Kate took out her phone. “Just the other day I was recording people on the toilet when I noticed something. After you went, you did this little wiggle movement as you finished.”

“What?! I do no such thing!”

“I thought I was seeing things too, but after zooming in it was clear you were doing a little wiggle and it was so adorable I nearly died when I played it on a loop. In fact this needs to be shared with everyone, they must learn of the wiggle!”

“Don’t you dare!”

Pandora threw several swords which jumped over, slid to the left and hopped over another. Clearly annoyed, Pandora activated Shinigami Overdrive and yelled, “Give me that phone!” As she launched her black hands at her. Kate ducked under one, rolled to the left as another came for her then leaped into the air as several came after her. She grabbed and swung across one, landed on another hand and ran along it while evading two others. She jumped 180 degrees sideways as one hand attacked and bounced herself off it with her feet, then bounced off another above it to her left, propelling her to the ground where she flash stepped three more hands that came after her. As Ruby watched from the other side of the room, Kate yelled, “The people have the right to know!”
“Wish my reflexes were that good…” Ruby commented.

“Your reflexes are good enough, I should know.” Ivy said.

“Don’t remind me.”

“Why? I enjoy fighting you.”

“I hate fighting you but I enjoy punching your face in.”

“Never would I have thought an angel who I once considered my arch-enemy would now be one of my closest friends.”

Ruby picked up a piece of pizza nearby as she talked. “Stranger things have happened.”

“Yeah but it’s really-Hey! You just ate my pizza!” Ivy exclaimed.

“Huh? This? Sorry, I didn’t know it was yours.” Clearly mad, Ivy grabbed Ruby’s piece of cake & ate it, making her gasp. “You just ate my cake!”

Ivy shrugged while speaking heavily sarcastically. “Sorry Ruby, I had no idea it was yours.”

“Why you!” Ruby tackled her & they rolled around punching each other.
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« Reply #438 on: 17 December, 2013, 12:53:18 pm »

Now it’s time for: Reipa Girl, tell ‘em!

One copy of Lolita backflipped into the room while using Shinigami Overdrive and landed by the desk, then pointed right as she exclaimed, “You!” Another slid in, doing somersaults then stopping beside the first and pointed up as she exclaimed, “You!” A hole appeared in the ceiling and another Lolita dropped down from above and pointed at them both. “And you!” She returned to normal, at which point the two clones disappeared as she sat down. “Welcome again to another Q&A, no guests once again. Let us begin, first caller, please.”

“Umm, yeah, hey, I think Harry’s character needs some major alterations.”


“Well I’m not trying to look cool & all, I don’t think I could live as long as those demons do, and I think not being attracted to the younger Ivy sexually is wrong. Not being a pedo or anything, just saying. There’s some other stuff too but whatever, it just makes it harder for me to insert myself in the role.”

“Have you maybe considered NOT inserting yourself?”

“I don’t follow.”

“You shouldn’t.” Lolita cut him off. “Next caller.”

“Good morning, I have a lot of issues regarding continuity which I took the time to write down.” He cleared his throat. “Now first of all, apparently Pandora had only been around for about 5 months when she became aware of your relationship with Damien, at least I’m assuming that was the reference. I’m not sure it was stated at what point this was during the 10 years he was dead, or just the 5 years in my time. Second,”

He paused for a few moments as a sound was heard, at which point Lolita said, “Did you seriously just push up your glasses?”

“There’s a few inconsistencies in contrast with the previous story & another further back. Ivy was said to have long hair here yet in the previous story Harry told involving that one island had Ivy with short hair & they weren’t so very close.”

“I believe it’s suggested that happened at some point before their date.”

“Yes, well I’d appreciate if you could bring these details up ahead of time.”

“I’ll do so never, goodbye. Next caller, please.”

“Yo, I thought that last one was cool with the fighting & the themes & the dialogue & the people-”

“Could you say that in a language I understand?”

“I mean, it makes sense that Ivy would have special themes vs. Poison, Ruby & Damien. Hell, she also has special intro dialogue with over half the cast: Ruby, Poison, her family members, Nookie, Rosie, Amber, Richard, Dawn, Goldia, Lolita, PAL, dialogue can change depending whether both Ruby & Ivy are in their older forms or younger forms, and I may be missing one but yeah.”

“Uh-huh, I’m just going to move on now. Next caller, please.”

“Hello again, I called in a long while back, we had some disagreements, said some hurtful things & whatnot but I believe I was wrong about what I said before.”


“This recent development has surprised me, you really are a decent role model, and I apologize about what I said last time we spoke.”

“Though I do not remember, I would also like to apologize as I most likely said some things that were a little out of line. Also, I don’t believe I’m a satisfactory role model.”

“Modesty is a good trait to have, and though it may be somewhat hidden by a cold exterior, you clearly have a kind heart.”

“I do not. I’ve made many mistakes in my life & acted in ways which weren’t befitting of my stature. I don’t feel that qualifies as role model material.”

“But it does! Having the guts to acknowledge and admit to past mistakes & bad behaviour is admirable. Showing young girls the bad points & improving on that is worthy of respect.”

“I’m not happy about you twisting the meaning of my words.”

“When I grow up I want to be just like you.”

“I thought you were like a mother or something…”

“I want to know the kinds of people that you do.”

“I suppose I could introduce you at some point.”

“I want the same husband you have.”

“Excuse me?”

“I want to live where you live.”

“I have no patience for your tomfoolery, I’m blocking this number. Goodbye.” Lolita cut her off. “So that’s all the time I have today, thank you all for joining me yet again. Take care.” She waved goodbye.
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« Reply #439 on: 17 March, 2014, 11:29:56 am »

Been putting this off for so long. If anyone still visits this topic, I'll probably update sometime in the next few days.
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« Reply #440 on: 03 April, 2014, 01:52:40 am »

Sorry for taking so long, decided to split it up since it's too long, and add the other part much later.


TMEDCE: Outstanding Visual Aesthetic, P1

It was a normal day on that one planet I keep going back to, but that was normal. It was the night before Christmas eve & Ivy and Ruby were in the same room from last time, playing a game on that one console.

“So you and that other guy hooked up yet?” Ivy randomly asked.

“Huh? You mean Gary? For the longest time he’s never liked me, and he’s not very nice.”


“What do you mean, ‘so’? Those are legitimate complaints!”

“Talk things out or something. Then you guys could come over & we’ll do some  kind of swingers thing or something.”

“I…huh? Btw, if you kill about 20 more guys with those whip grabs, you‘ll unlock the dominatrix costume.”

“Oh, cool. Do you get that as well?”

“Nah, just you.”

“Alri-hey, wait a minute! The hell does that mean?! You trying to say I’m a natural dominatrix?!?”

“Hey, I didn’t make it that way…”

Ivy calmed down. “So whatcha doing on Christmas?”

“Probably fighting crime, I’d expect. You coming up with some present nonsense again?”

“It’s not nonsense. I’ve been working on a special present recently. It’s nearly done & I’m gonna test it. I’ll have to include a memory wipe so he doesn’t remember it.”

“Whatever. I don’t even wanna know what goes on in your head half the time.”

Later that night, Goldia was in a basement tampering with a red, blue & grey multi-colored laser cannon the size of a widescreen television. When she heard footsteps, she hid as Ivy arrived. “Nearly done, just a few tweaks to make.” Shortly after, she took the cannon out of the basement to make use of it.

The next morning, Ivy was sitting on a couch, watching the television when Rosie knocked on the door, then entered as Poison opened the door. She waved as she sat near her.

“Here’s your drink.” Poison said, placing it beside Ivy on a table.

“Why thank you.”

“Oh, here’s a pillow too.”

“You’re simply too kind.” Ivy replied, laying down. Just then, a girl with green hair,  wearing Poison’s normal clothing passed by on roller-skates.

As Rosie seemed puzzled, Poison asked, “Would you like one too?”

“N-no, no, I’m fine.” As he left, Rosie asked. “What did you do?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s always something weird with you, so what happened?”

Ivy sighed. “Well, this machine I had kinda malfunctioned or something and split Harry’s subconscious into about 5 bodies with 5 separate personalities. I categorized them too: The five were the White Knight, the Snark Knight, the Blood Knight, the Cool Knight & the Dark Knight. I could have sworn I had the calculations on that cannon right.”

“I don’t wanna know what its true purpose was.”

“Regardless of its purpose,” Poison began, leaning on a wall to the right of Rosie. “Testing it on the person you plan to give it to is pretty stupid.”

“Is this the Snark Knight?” Rosie asked, Ivy nodded in response.

“This isn’t very funny, Ivy. You said it was an accident, so you should be fixing it, not laying on your ass like a slob.”

“Pfft, you know you loved this ass.”

“TMI.” Rosie said with a stone-faced expression. “But he’s right, you need to fix this.”

“Oh fine, I will tonight. Then I can use it on myself.”

“Btw, why is one of these personalities a girl?”

“That’s the ’Cool’ Knight, I’m not entirely sure why that one is different but she’s not all girl, if you know what I mean…I mean-”

“I got it.”

“The Blood Knight is kind of an **** though. Thank goodness that attitude isn’t the standard personality.”

Later that night, one of the Poison personalities was conversing with Goldia in the basement when Ivy came down the steps. As she searched for the laser cannon which had been moved from its spot, Poison charged up the cannon from behind her. 

Meanwhile, Damien was currently taking a bubble bath, and Pandora happened to be on the other end of that tub, talking about her day.

“So it was awful as usual, nobody ever has the courtesy to let those more unfortunate people with less items, such as myself, go ahead of them in a queue. I got hit on again for the 37th time by people I think were hillbillies. I dropped my ice cream cone while on stupid nasty public transport-”

“Pandora.” Damien said, interrupting her.


“Not that I don’t love hearing you talk about tedious things which don’t concern me, but did you really need to talk to me about this?”

“Yes, it was late so other people were sleeping.”

“And you had to join me in the bath?”

“It was urgent.”

“I’m sure it was.”

Pandora moved over to his side and rested on his chest as she continued. “So then I lost my wallet and no-one was kind enough to hand it in. Plus the stupid jerk, Mr. Wind was really annoying today, he kept blowing up my dress & hair.”

“Why must you do this?”

“Do what?”

“It stopped being funny a long time ago.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, what am I doing, Damien?” 

“Would you please just go?”

Pandora sighed. “Very well.” She slowly stood up and got out of the bath as she said, “Feel free to gaze in astonishment as I leave.”

“Don’t flatter yourself.”

Shortly after she left, there was a knock on the bathroom window. He ignored it for a short while till he faintly heard Ivy and Poison’s voices outside and so he got out to check.

Early the next day, Ivy had called over Rosie, Amber, Leo, Lolita, Daisy, Katie, and the other demon lords, to warn them about what was going on, and they were waiting for the other demon lords to arrive. Soon enough, they did through dynamic ways like unnecessary combat rolls through a window, jump kicking down the door, and creating holes in windows.

“Ignoring your attempts to be a bother,” Ivy began. “I’ve called you all here for something really urgent & important.”

“Did you not fix the problem yesterday?” Rosie asked.

“It’s actually much worse.” Poison replied.

“Snark Knight?”

“Snark Knight.”

“He’s right.” Ivy said. “Unfortunately, a laser cannon which one part of my brain thought was a good idea to create was tampered with. I’m unsure of the true purpose, but when I used it on Harry it split his mind into 5 different bodies with their own personalities. I was planning to fix this, although one of those personalities thought it would be amusing to use the cannon on myself.”

“You only have yourself to blame.” Poison replied.

“So which personality are you?” Amber asked.

“I haven’t exactly labelled myself.”

“Well I have.” Goldia responded, hovering into the room. “From the behaviour I’ve examined recently, I’ve called one Pervert Ivy, another Tsundere Ivy, and I shall call the third moe-moe Ivy.”

“Huh. Anyway, the part of me who designed that cannon also took off with it as well. I’ll refer to her as Mad Scientist Ivy. I don’t think I should have to go over why its bad to let them run around using that cannon as they please. Everyone has many sides to them, just as there’s good there’s also bad.”

“Not to mention 5 exact people running about will cause big cases of mistaken identity.” Blake replied.


“This sounds pretty fucking awesome.” Kate said, while Lolita was thinking about something.

“I agree.” Alice smirked. “I find this oddly amusing.”

“I kinda want to know what splitting into five of me feels like.” Daisy added.

Brian whispered to Tyson, “Yo, think of the bitches we’d get with that cannon.”

“I was thinking the same thing. Hell, we could find bitches that are 9’s & 10’s and just duplicate them. 2 to 3 bitches each.”

“We gotta help find this thing, man. Shit sounds amazing.”

Lolita gasped and suddenly exclaimed, “I could have several!” As it went quiet, she said, “Sorry about that.”

“Just don’t get too excited.” Poison replied.

“You guys don’t understand.” Ivy began. “I haven’t gone over the full effects, but becoming affected by this won’t be a good thing in the long term.”

“So we should actually get to work & find our bad halves.”

In a secluded location somewhere, the bad sides of Ivy, Poison and Damien were there with Ivy explaining how the cannon works.

“So it’s just that simple, huh?” Damien began. “And what is it you plan to do with this?”

“We’ll use it on everyone else, obviously. Add more people to our forces, and cause as much havoc as possible.”

“Not that I don’t love the idea, but why would you do something like this?”

“You could say I’m interested in seeing just how chaotic this universe could possibly become when utilized well.”

The two stared at Poison who shrugged and said, “I figure it would be pretty fun.”

Damien smirked. “Very well then. It won’t be long before our counterparts begin to resolve this, so we should proceed quickly and plan accordingly.”

Back in less shady places, Pandora came round Damien’s house again and knocked before opening the door herself anyway. “Hey, just thought I’d come by, been having a miserable day again. Are you here?” She eventually encountered him sitting by a counter in the kitchen, reading a book.

“Ahh, good morning, Pandora. How are you feeling?”

“Like a damp bag of shit.”

“Oh? Sounds like someone needs a hug.”

“I don’t need any stupid hug.”

“You sure? It’s here if you want it, I won’t make fun of you, we all need a little TLC once in a while.”

“You still make fun of me for the farting thing…”

“It was only a few jabs here or there, I meant no ill will behind them.”

“Are you really not gonna make fun of me?”

“I give you my word.”

Pandora looked around, then quickly hugged him for a few moments before Damien moved back. “Umm, could I have another?”

“Sorry, only the first is free. At the moment I have a deal going on, unlimited hugs for a month for $29.95.”

“But I can’t afford that much right now!”

“Then no hugs for you.” 

Back with the others discussing the situation, one personality of Damien walked into the room wearing a business suit & glasses. “While you people were busy lollygagging, I took the initiative & investigated this unfortunate circumstance myself.” He said, handing out papers to everyone. “According to my research, I’ve estimated my IQ & my other counterparts will slowly decease after about a week, then it will rapidly decrease everyday afterwards. We need to have everyone who was affected by this predicament restored to their complete body in about two weeks at the most.”

“Two weeks, huh?” Tyson said. “That’s plenty of time to find these guys.”

“Don’t be so sure. A part of me is with them as well, they’re unlikely to carry anything that can be traced back to them, and unwilling to show themselves unless they have something planned. Lolita, is your soul sense still fully functional?”

“Well ye-”

“Alright, let’s get started.” Damien said, grabbing her hand as he walked past. “We may not have much time to waste.” They quickly left the room.

“We should get searching too.” Blake said, with the other demon lords nodding in agreement.

Meanwhile, the bad sides of Ivy, Poison & Damien happened to be in a large blue lightened up spaceship, standing around the middle area of the ship.

“So while you guys do whatever, I’m gonna work on making this ray more powerful, duplicating it, as well as making fakes for our would-be meddlers.” Ivy said.

“Do hurry with that, you won’t have all week.” Goldia said as she slowly hovered to the ground.

“So are you another member of this group?” Damien asked.

“It’s cool, D, she’s with us.” Poison replied. “Or is it a he? Whatever.”

“They’ve recently started their search.” Goldia turned to Damien. “One of yours in particular may be a problem soon enough.”

“Don’t worry yourself, we know what we’re doing, or at least I know what I’m doing.” Damien walked off.

On earth, it was the middle of the afternoon when there was a random bank robbery going on. The goons all wore brightly colored baggy outfits with smiling sun masks and with them were a happily married couple, along with their elementary son & daughter accompanying them. There were many hostages and they were emptying a vault.

One goon pointed a gun at some of the hostages and said, “Now none of you better something stupid if you know what’s good for ya.”

The wife motioned for him to put away the gun as she said, “Now now, we don’t need to always resort to violence.”

“Yeah, you’re right Mrs. S, sorry about that.”

As they carried money out of the vault, the father said, “We’re terribly sorry to have inconvenienced you this afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Normally we would’ve come in the morning but I had a doctors appointment.”

The hostages and staff were rather forgiving of this for some weird reason. The son ran up to the father and exclaimed, “Papa, the good guys are coming to stop us!”

“Oh! How lovely! How long has it been since we last met?” The wife asked.

“I believe it’s been a little under 2 months. We have quite a lot to catch up on.” The father replied, then turned to a goon & said. “Would you be a dear & escort these bags of money to the car?”

“Sure thing.”

Just then, Gary & Ruby flew through the front doors and landed in the middle of the room. Ruby became rather friendly as she realized who it was while Gary sighed.

“Ruby! It’s so nice to see you again!” The wife exclaimed.

“Sandra!” Ruby hugged her. “You got out early? Why didn’t you say anything!”

“We were just so busy finding new jobs & making ends meet.” In the background, the daughter tugged at Gary’s cape and when he turned to her, she handed him a permanent marker and a gun, he shrugged & signed it. “So have you found a nice boy to settle down with yet?”

“I don’t really have time for that in my line of work.”

“I’ll have none of that, you don’t want to end up old and alone, do you?”

“Excuse me.” Gary began. “Though I don’t consider you truly awful people, must you rob banks & such?”

“We need the money to pay off the mortgage.” Sandra replied.

The father passed by and gasped. “Oh! Gary! Ruby! So nice to see you again!”

“Robbing banks as usual, Simon.” Gary replied.

“Oho! You know how we are!”

“You do know we need to arrest you guys again, right?” Just then, one of the goons drove through the front doors & the group hopped in as Simon replied, “We’re always in the mood for a race.” The group took off while Gary and Ruby quickly ran outside & hopped into their angelmobile. They closely followed the bank robbers through the streets, at the national speed limit and making sure not to overtake other vehicles, of course.

The son tried to shoot them with an AK through the window then turned to his parents & said, “Papa! Mama! I think I hit something!”

“That’s my boy!” Simon said, hugging him.

As they stopped at a traffic light, the police came around the corner & cut them off. Moving a little further along, the Sunshine family & the hired goons were handcuffed and escorted into the back of a police truck.

“I’m so terribly sorry you boys have to also suffer the same fate for our screw-up.” Sandra said.

“Don’t worry about it, Mrs. S, we’ll break out soon enough. Besides, I couldn’t possibly stay mad at you.” One goon replied.

“Yeah, you’re the nicest lady I know.” Another goon added, several others also nodded.

As the doors closed & they drove off with the rest of the police, Gary sighed. “I hate having to run into that family.”

“Why is that?” Ruby asked.

“They’re so nice that I feel like a jerk for putting them away.”

“You are a jerk.”

“I believe that’s opinion. I liked you better when you were naïve & innocent.”

“Contrary to popular belief, I wasn’t very innocent, you never liked me very much anyway.”

“That much is true.”

May suddenly started talking to them through their earpieces. “Guys, Raging Rachel seems to be causing a ruckus down at some school. Might wanna sort that out before it gets outta hand.”

Ruby turned to Gary. “Uhh, Gary, could you-”



“Never again.”

“Oh come on, she’s not that bad.”

“That’s easy for you to say, you’re not a guy.”

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

“It has everything to do with it! I‘d rather get kicked in the nuts a dozen times.”

“That could be arranged…”

“Could you do it? She won’t go berserk if it’s you.”

“Fine, but you have to do the rest of The Puzzlers stuff.”

“You don’t like puzzles?”

“They’re fine as a quick distraction, but when there’s one around every street corner it begins to get annoying. Like, does he do anything in his spare time aside from come up with stupid puzzles?” 

“We may never know…”

Moving on, Ruby quickly flew over to where Rachel and her group was outside the building and landed nearby before asking, “What’s the problem this time, Rachel?”

Rachel looked around then asked, “Where’s the other guy?”

“He won’t be coming today.”

“Oh.” Rachel replied, clearly disappointed, then pulled out a list. “I mean, I had a bunch of stuff to say to him about how his kind are a plague on society, and how he should never lay a hand on me under any circumstance, and-”

“Rachel? The problem?”

“Right! I think its obscene that girls have to wear skirts! Why is this part of a schools uniform?!”

“No idea, it’s not really a big deal though.”

“No big deal? What if their knees get cold? Why can’t they wear pants? This is sexism at its finest! Look at you, Ruby, you‘re a woman but you wear a skirt, why?”

Ruby shrugged. “It looks good on me.”

“But don’t you get tried of the scum that ogle you on a regular basis because of that disgustingly short skirt?”

“It’s not that short…is it? Look, I can try to talk to them about…whatever it is you want.”

“Alright, also,” Rachel handed her a piece of paper. “It’s my number, can you give it to that **** friend of yours?”

“I’m not sure he has a working mobile at the moment.”

“Well my email is on there too, tell him to email me or something so I can insult him more.”

“Sure thing.” As Ruby left, she contacted Gary. “Hey, just met up with a friend of mine that wants your number.”

“Huh? Who’s that?”

“One of your fangirls, trust me, you’ll love her. No sarcasm.”

Back on the planet called whatever, Damien & Lolita were still looking for any traces of his other self.

“Lolita, is your soul searching ability still working accurately?” Damien asked.

“I’m not entirely sure, I haven’t felt a similar signature energy yet.”

“I see.”

Just then, another Damien who happened to be giving Pandora a piggyback ride passed by them. Lolita quickly walked backwards and stopped in front of them. “What’s going on here?”

“Just a casual stroll, my dear.” He replied.

“Hi, Lolita.” Pandora greeted her. 

“Do you even know what’s going on?” Lolita asked.

“I’m willing to listen.” Lolita quickly explained the situation while the other Damien moved on ahead. “I see, that explains things. So which Damien are you, Damien?” Pandora asked.

“I’m unaware myself.”

Lolita grabbed one of Damien’s arms, making him drop Pandora. “Either way, additional help to get this problem sorted will be most welcome.”

“Wait a minute,” Pandora responded, standing up, then grabbed his other arm. “This one is mine!”

“You’re behaving like a child.” Lolita replied, pulling Damien towards her.

“I’m younger than you so its okay.” Pandora said, pulling Damien towards her.

“You can’t always use a stupid excuse like that.”

“You already have the others so I want this one.”

“It’s quite rude to talk like that.”

“Ladies, please.” Damien said, interrupting. “Let’s get along here.”

“Damien, what do you think of Pandora?” Lolita asked. “What is she to you?”

“What do I think of her?” Damien looked at Pandora who was rather nervous. “I believe that she can be quite selfish while also being as cute as a button. I see her more as like an adoptive daughter.”

“A daughter, huh?” Pandora said, completely monotone.

“Is there a problem?”

“No. I suppose not.”

“I thought you said you didn’t like me?”

“I don’t, but do you not find me attractive?”

“You can’t have your cake & eat it too.”

“I haven’t seen a cake in ages.”

“It’s a saying.”

“It’s a dumb saying. I wouldn‘t want you for an adoptive father anyway, old man.”

Lolita opened her mouth to say something but was cut off as they continued. “I’m still fairly young for a demon. But you‘re like a baby in comparison.”

“How dare you! I’m a healthy grown woman!”

“Perhaps grown in a few areas, but mentally not so much. Though I can‘t help but find you amusing. You remind me of an abandoned kitten, yes, that would be most accurate.”

“A kitten, huh?”

“Are kittens not adorable?”

“I’m NOT an animal!”

Damien grabbed her cheeks and began pulling at them as he said, “Aren’t you just the cutest thing. Yes you are! I could just gobble you up…but I wouldn‘t because that would be cannibalism.”

Pandora slapped his hands away. “Stop that, you ****! We’re no longer friends!”

“Oh come on, don’t be like that.”

“No! You can keep all your stealth insults, my stupid friendship bracelet and the stupid friendship lingerie, I’m done!” Pandora walked off.

Lolita shook her head and slowly floated away without moving her feet. At this point, the previous Damien had met with his darker side in the middle of a forest overlooking a river, who now wore a magenta cape over his clothing, as well as a purple vest under it.

“Hope I haven’t kept you waiting.” The one with glasses said.

“On the contrary,” The other spun round. “You’re right on time, though you‘re a little too late to stop the chaos, it has already begun.”

“You’re bluffing.”

“Normally I would be, but the other members of my crusade have progressed faster than I expected them to. As we speak my dear sister is freeing these miserable demons from their primitive inhibitions and awakening them to a whole new way of living. To truly act as they see fit.”

“It disgusts me that we’re part of the same mind.”

“I agree, strange minds ought to think alike after all.”

“Whatever you’re planning for me, you know it isn’t guaranteed to think.”

“Yes, strange minds may think alike, but allies of those minds do not.” A puddle of dark matter opened beneath the other and very slowly began to consume him. “Fortunately I’ve made recent friends in high places.” Dawn waved from far off in the distance from behind a tree, now wearing a hooded red cape with the MK Dragon logo on the back over her normal clothing. “You were taken care of the moment you found me. No use struggling, when it does target someone, it’s pull is stronger than that of a black hole.”

“You don’t know what you’re doing, if we don’t fix this within two weeks even you will be left with no brain cells to speak of.”

“That sounds pretty bad, I’ll have to do something about that. Thanks for the tip. I’m unsure of what’s in that void, it pains me to say it won’t keep you out of our hair completely, merely restrain you for some time, but the time will come in handy for us to prepare for the party. Until then, farewell.” Damien walked off as the other was consumed by the hole.

Hearing word from Poison of what their eviler counterparts were doing at the time, the Ivy who was currently trying to replicate the laser cannon sighed. “This gets more troublesome by the minute…”

“Now they have new members for their little evil club.” Poison replied.

“You could really help, y’know?”

“Once you make that machine, perhaps, but not before.”

On the ship, the evil halves had gathered many more of their kind. Ivy was laughing after having fired a large proton cannon set up at many locations and creating an even bigger problem. Dawn sat nearby eating a banana when Poison approached them, dressed in a black suit with a white collar shirt, black vest over the shirt & a black fedora. “So how do I look, ladies?”

“Like a faggot.” Dawn replied.

“You look stupid.” Ivy added.

“Pfft, I know I look good. The look suits me well. So how‘s the progress?”

“Excellent.” Ivy replied. “Everything’s in working order. Now it’s time we paid a visit to an old home of ours as well.”

“Cool. Damien already went on ahead anyway.”

Meanwhile, in Fuka’s flying fortress, she was watching the skies when she suddenly spotted a familiar man in a slay. She locked on & opened fire with dozens of cannons as he approached the area. The reindeers ducked & weaved through the gun fire & flew off to the side while Santa leaped out towards one of the cannons. He flew through it & ended up on one of the floors within the ship, with numerous laser guns pointed right at him. They opened fire but he easily avoided being hit as he punched out them all out then dashed around a horizontal-like path & punched through a wall. He leapt through the gap with numerous lasers firing at him as he fell but all not coming close to hitting him. He landed in a dark room & on the other side an evil robotic Santa Claus appeared. They leapt at each other, then it suddenly cut to Fuka sitting beside a control panel & several screens. Santa eventually burst through a wall, with his top seemingly burnt off, and walked up to Fuka then placed a lump of coal on the console. “Merry Christmas.” He punched another hole and jumped out where the reindeer came back to get him.

“What an ****.” Fuka said moments later.

“I suppose that was uncalled for.” Fuka spun round to see Damien. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“The hell are you doing here?”

“I’m simply here for some golly good co-operation.”


“I’ve decided to take up that offer of taking over the world, so I’m willing to give it another chance, what do you say?”

“Uhh, I don’t know…”

“Now I know we’ve had other differences, but this time will be different.” He placed a hand on her shoulder & smiled. “Trust me.”

Fuka looked at him suspiciously. “Alright, what’s your plan?”

A little later, The Collector was breaking into a priceless antique museum with dozens of goons & waltzed into one of the rooms with a woman painted gold on each side, along with over a dozen goons while several were told to wait outside the room where they began talking.

“So any of you guys worked under this guy before?” One of them asked.

“Once or twice,” Another replied. “There’s been some rumors going round that if you really impress him he’ll get your mortgage & insurance covered, among other things.”

“Sounds like a pretty good deal.”

“On the other hand, I heard some people have lost their lives working with this guy.” Another responded. “Stuff like being trapped underground during a cave-in or not having enough parachutes on board a burning plane.”

“Guess we’d better watch our backs then.” said a fourth.

“The perks are nice & all but I’d rather work for people like the Sunshine family. I can’t help but smile when I’m around those guys.”

“Hell yeah! I love those two, I have a lot of respect for Simon & all but I would kill him first chance if it meant being able to hook up with his wife. I normally don’t like bitches but that one is special.”

“What bitches do you even like, dude? I‘m beginning to think you‘re not telling us something…”

“Hey, not like that, man.”

“When you think about it there isn’t much choice.” Another said.

“Gonna need more detail.”

“I’m talking chicks to work for. There’s, what, that Rachel chick who’s pretty much insane, that obnoxious idol bitch, that defrosting teenage chick in the cold form-fitting suit, and that undead middle school girl with her army of girls.”

“Huh, you’re right. Speaking of, heard that Rachel chick killed some guy by snapping his head with her crotch.”

“How does that work?” Asked another.

“No idea, insanity gives you strength, apparently, also the bitch hates men, so yeah, fuck that. Another thing, you guys are kinda missing out if you haven‘t worked for Valerie.”


“The ice chick, she’s actually quite nice despite ironically being so cold.”

“Y’know what’s weird? All these chicks to work for, and not one is really worth fucking.” The others stared at him. “Hear me out quick. Like you said, that Rachel chick is nuts & could easily snap you in two.”

“The hatesex might be worth it though.” One commented, while many of them either agreed or disagreed.

“There’s that idol, thinks she’s better than everyone & so obnoxious to boot.”

“Heard she has mind control powers too, that could be kinky.” Once again, many opinions on both sides were had.

“That ice chick, while nice, is covered up half the time! There’s no excuse for a healthy young woman to cover her body! Besides, her body’s temperature is so low your dick would fall off just trying to put it in.”

“You could always wear a rubber…” Again, they debated on whether that could even work.

“That school girl doesn’t seem that bad, but would you wanna fuck an undead one? She’s probably got all sorts of cobwebs down there or really flaky skin or something.”

“Ugh, dude, too much.”

“Plus aren’t those bitches like 12? Can’t get it up for chicks that young.”

“A majority of them are at least 14 now.” The others stared. “Not that I’m looking it up or anything. Besides, some of those chicks are really developed for their age.”

“Always did love me some jailbait.” Another said.

“Hey, what about that pink haired chick a while back. She was apparently an alien or whatever.”

“I think she’s too young also, loved her laugh & enthusiasm though.”

“She ain’t really young anymore. Last I heard, she grew up like the two other kids, they say she’s smoking now.”

“Ehh, whatever. When this is all over, I just-”

He was interrupted when another goon yelled, “It’s the brats!” As Gary and Ruby arrived. They attempted to fire but Gary & Ruby quickly went into freeflow mode the moment they raised their guns & tied them up. By this point, The Collector was aware of their arrival & snuck out a back exit as they gave chase. May contacted the two as they followed his vehicle. “Guys, there’s something big you guys really need to check out on the other side of the city.”

“Can it wait?” Gary asked.

“I think you’d best hurry, it’s approaching the town centre.”

On the horizon of the town centre, Fuka’s Flying Fortress was steadily approaching the town centre where tons of people were running around, doing last minute Christmas shopping. Some of the citizens began to notice the massive ship in the distance shortly before it stopped. Some of the ships exterior changed as it slowly spawned a large cannon.

Within the ship, Leo was looking over some things when he turned and called out to the others. “It’s ready.”

“It’s now or never.” Poison said, leaning against a wall.

Fuka was standing across the area with Damien, confused by what was going on when Damien turned to her & said, “Calm yourself, everything will go just fine, Fayla.”

“It’s Fuka.” 

Ivy, who was sitting in a chair suspended up above & controlling the cannon behind a large device, prepared to fire & smirked before doing so. As a massive violet beam headed towards the streets below, the blast suddenly hit a wall & was launched into space, then with a flash of lightning the cannon was cut off & exploded in mid-air before Gary & Ruby showed up, hovering in mid-air near the town centre.

“What’s Fuka up to this time?” Ruby asked.

“This seems a little too direct for someone like Fuka…” Gary replied.

On the ship, Ivy nearly broke the console as she punched it. “C’mon! Why must these fools get in my way?! The hell do we do now?!”

“Rest easy, dear sister, we can simply try again.” Damien said, walking towards the others.

“There’s no second chance, they blew up the cannon, remember?”

“I do have eyes, fortunately, I’d already prepared something ahead of time.” Damien nodded to Poison who nodded back then stretched before leaving.

He left the ship, getting the attention of Gary & Ruby who flew towards him while he did a slow clap. “Bravo, you two, you’re a real pain in the ass.”

Ruby looked confused. “Harry? Is that you? What are you doing?”

“Just having a little fun.”


“Hey, we’ve all got our hobbies, don’t judge me. Sadly, I haven’t got time to chat, we have a few errands to run so you’ll have to excuse me.” He bowed a moment before the giant fortress teleported.

Up in space a satellite was charging up a beam which was aimed right where they previously were & fired moments later. In one of the other rooms, Fuka was explaining the situation to her squad.

“So isn’t this a good thing?” One asked. “You always said you wanted to take over the world or whatever, we can do that now, right?”

“Yeah but he’s acting differently than I remember, I just don’t think he can be trusted.”

“Different how?”


Damien suddenly placed a hand on her shoulder as he appeared. “Good evening, ladies, just passing through, hope I didn’t interrupt anything.” He left as quickly as he entered.

“Well he seems nice.” One of them said.

“Yeah, he may be a bad guy & all but I’d totally suck his dick.”

“Do you know how big it is?”

Fuka sighed. “I think you guys should start thinking more with your brains & less with your hormones.”

Back with Ivy, she was still working on fixing the cannon when Goldia hovered in with a phone. “Excuse me, milady, there’s an urgent phone call for you.”

“Fine, give me the phone, I'll talk to her.”

“I never said what gender-”

“I can already tell.”

“Ivy! Things are terrible here!” Ruby exclaimed. “I’ve somehow got multiple copies of myself or something running around, and so does everyone else! What’s going on?!?”

“It’s a long story but I’m fixing it.”

“She’s taking her sweet time too.” Poison commented.

“How long’s this gonna take?” Ruby asked.

“A few hours or so, I guess, maybe tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? The city is in panic!”

I’m doing what I can, just try to sort things out in the meantime.”

“Fine, please just hurry.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, what personality are you?”

“Uhh…one who fights for the good of the people?”

“The Justice one, huh, fair enough.”

Pandora, who was sitting on the lap of one of Kate’s personalities that wore a bright yellow frilly dress, asked, “So what’s it like splitting up into five identical people?” Kate was feeding her cake during this.

“It’s a bad experience, I wouldn’t recommend it.” Ivy replied.

“Sounds like it could be rather interesting…”

As Pandora got up, Kate said, “Be careful, Pan-chan, I’ve heard that there’s another person who looks like me going around, molesting others. I don’t know how someone could do something so horrible!”

“I’m not surprised, actually.”

“So is it really bad down there?” Poison asked.

“She said something about the city being in panic, so it must be pretty chaotic.” Ivy replied.

“Chaotic, you say?” The female Poison asked, poking her head out from another room. “Sounds like my kinda place, besides, that other you really needs more material, I don’t mind perverted jokes but she’s gotta mix it up.” She walked towards the exit.

“You’re not seriously going there, are you?” The other Poison asked.

“Hell yeah, I am! It’s gotta be all kinds of fun, and this place is boring! Cya!” She slammed the door on her way out.

“Such a troublesome person…”

“I should inform my parents in a bit & let them know about the situation.” Ivy said. “It’s rather unfortunate that they happen to be on an overseas business trip at the moment.”

“How typical.” Poison replied.

Meanwhile, the evil squad forced their way into a building where they were in the middle of talking about the weather & Damien simply threw her offscreen & several others in the group took care of the cameramen.

“Greetings, ladies & gentlemen.” Damien began. “I briefly interrupt tomorrow’s weather schedule to bring you some more important news. My name is unimportant, but from now on our group will be the ones enforcing our own laws here. Our laws are pretty simple, do what you feel like. Wanna rob that store? Go ahead. Wanna blow up that hospital? By all means. Wanna rape that girl that turned you down last week? Have fun. Those who have a problem with this simply have two options: Willingly join us, or end up 6 feet under, the choice is quite simple honestly. That’s all for now.”

Sakura, who was leaning against a wall with Blake asked, “So why are we just letting Damien do all this?”

“You could lend a hand if you want.”

“Nah, can’t be bothered.”

Meanwhile, Gary & Ruby were flying through the air, overlooking all the riots, panic & crazy behaviour happening in the streets as a result of multiple identical people wondering around.

Oswald called Ruby during this & said, “Ruby, we need to talk.” as she picked up.

“Osward? How did you get this number?”

“That’s unimportant. What is though is that I saw someone who looked identical to you at some sleazy club surrounded by uncivilized gorillas. Something seemed quite off about this, so I knocked her out & got her away from there for her own good. I assume you know something about what’s going on here?”

“It’s a long story but I’ve basically split into 5 bodies each with a different personality, fixing this problem may take a bit, I suppose I should thank you for stopping that personality before she did icky things with part of my body. But you’d better not do dirty things to her yourself or I swear-”

“You insult me, I would never touch such a person. Though now you say this, there must be one personality out there I’d be most interested in, but I respect you enough to honor your request. Then again, I will require a future favor.”

“I’m not doing those things.”

“Yet you say I’m the one with dirty thoughts. It’s nothing like that, it’s not even illegal, I’ll let you know when I need that favor.” He hung up while Ruby sighed.

“Guess we’ll be working overtime.” Gary commented.

“Hopefully our other selves are doing their part…” Ruby replied as they flew lower.

Back in Fuka’s Flying Fortress, the evil squad was flying around, overlooking what was happening in the city.

Toby then said, “Hey, we should go takeover that one house people talk about a lot.”

“The blue house?” Dawn asked.

“Not that one.”

“The red house?” Asked Brian, wearing a green T-Rex costume.

“Not that either.”

“The yellow house?” asked Sakura.

“Whatever, let’s just do one of them.”

“In due time, Toby.” Blake replied.

They instead spent that night causing more chaos & commotion than half the other people on the streets, going through with senseless murder & vandalism for their own selfish wants & for the hell of it. While some of the others were busy breaking into stores, burning down buildings and destroying anything that opposed them, Leo, Tyson & Brian were sitting at a bar.

Tyson turned to Leo & said, “So the age limit here is-”

“Yeah, 18, until then it’s illegal.”

“So like, the boyfriend has been 18 for a few months, and the chick turns 18 like next week-”

“It’s still illegal.”

“Even if it’s like an hour before her birthday?” Brian asked.

“No touch.”

“But as soon as that clock hits 12...”

“It’s perfectly fine.”

“That’s messed up.” Tyson replied, shaking his head.

“Yeah, I thought so too.”

One part of Gary & Ruby were busy around the secluded sections of the town, enforcing the law with no leniency as they regularly broke people’s bones & knocked them unconscious for committing crimes, and seemed to barely acknowledge the people they were helping during this. Gary blew down a wall in a building where The Collector was sitting behind a desk, smoking a cigar.

Gary flew in, landed on the desk & grabbed the cigar from his mouth. “Where are they?”

“Could you be a little more specific?”

Gary grabbed him by the throat  and lifted him up while smacking his helpers that tried to stop him. “Don’t make me ask again.” The Collector conceded & told him where the antiques were before Gary knocked him out & went on his way.

Nearby, Ruby had taken care of a biker gang who were causing a commotion outside a family’s house by braking arms, legs, and backs of their bodies at the very least, then paid a visit to Osward by blasting down a wall & slowly floating in.

“Ahh, good evening, were you the one I spoke to over the phone?” Oswald asked.

“Why have you got this girl here? Release her, now.”

“I see you’re not. There’s a misunderstanding, I didn’t kidnap her for anything bad, I’ve discussed the issue with ano-”

Ruby placed a taser to his forehead and said, “Release her.”

“I’m willing to agree to your demands. Though I must say, you’re beautiful when you’re angry.”

“Make it quick.”

“Yes, mistress.”

Meanwhile, Valerie was having some henchmen break into a supermarket, take all the ice & cold drinks and stuff them in the back of a van.

“Good work, guys, keep it up.” She said.

Gary touched down moments later. “I see you’re up to no good again.”

“Just getting by, how about you cool off for a while?” She fired waves of ice as he ran around taking out the henchmen then kicked her in the stomach & punched her in the face.

She fell to the ground, covering the areas where he hit her. “Ow! What’s gotten into you? You’re not usually so rough, you should be gentler with girls.”

“Those who break the law have no right to speak of treatment.”

“I’m just trying to survive. I may do a few bad things, but I’m not a bad person.”

“The law is the one who decides that, and the law is genderless.” He cuffed her & dragged her off.

Back with the good Ivy, Goldia entered the room as Ivy picked up a phone & asked, “What are you doing, milady?”

“Just calling my parents to let them know what’s happening.”

Goldia’s right arm morphed into a sharp black blade as she replied, “ I see.”

“Is there a problem with that?”


Suddenly, another Goldia blasted a hole through a wall & leapt in then pointed at the other. “My lady, that robot there is an impostor!”

“I figured as much.”

“I believe she’s the impostor!” said the other robot.

“No need to deny it, I could tell because you called me ‘milady’. Plus you don’t seem as quirky as she usually is.”

“You’re going to make me blush, my lady. If I was capable of such a feeling, of course.” Goldia replied.

“Uh-huh.” Ivy turned to the other robot. “So who are you really?”

The mysterious robot began to morph as if it were melting but it simply appeared to be metallic & converting its shape, “I suppose it would be asking a bit much to recognize one of your own creations, mother.”

“Pretty sure I don’t have any kids…” She turned to Poison. “Do I?” He shrugged.

“I am the PAL 4000.” He exclaimed, now in a sleeker, thinner body.

“So what’s the deal with helping the others?” Poison asked.

“We merely have similar interests.”

“I assume you’re the one who tampered with my device & started this?” Ivy asked.

“You would be correct.”

“So it really is your fault after all…” Poison commented.

“For the moment, I believe a retreat is in order.” PAL said, flying out the window & into the sky.

“I think I can track him.” Goldia said.

“Good, feel free to do that.” Ivy replied.

One of Dawn’s personalities walked in through the hole during this & said, “Don’t mind me, I’m just accompanying Goldia.”

“You must be one of the good ones since you have straight hair.”

“’Good’ might be pushing it a bit.”
« Last Edit: 03 April, 2014, 01:59:01 am by Bonewheel Skeleton » Report Spam   Logged

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« Reply #441 on: 23 April, 2014, 10:08:43 pm »

Beast-Masterful music video....cracks me up every time.
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« Reply #442 on: 23 April, 2014, 11:00:03 pm »

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« Reply #443 on: 07 May, 2014, 06:46:07 pm »

Not done yet. Sorry for more procrastination, been watching stuff.

TMEDCE: Oh Very Appealing, P2

The next morning, on FFF, Damien was sitting by a desk, reading when Poison walked in and sat on the edge. “Good morning.”

“A good morning, indeed. So how was your night?”

“Alright, killed some people, blew up stuff…uhh, you know…”

“Yes, yes.”

“How was yours?”

“Well I accompanied the girls to what they would call a slumber party, it was surprisingly entertaining.”

“Those schoolgirls? Should’ve invited me, man.”

As Alice walked across the room with a cup of coffee, Damien said, “I was unaware you were interested in those girls.”

“Are you kidding? I love little girls!” Alice stared at them, and they waved before she kept walking. “So were you still wearing that crap?”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing aside from looking like the phantom of the fucking opera. You should be wearing more suits, man. Bitches love suits.”

“How absurd.” 

Just then, Ivy entered & said, “Hey, the group wants to go destroy Area 57, so one of the others are operating the thing.”

“What about 51-56?”

“It was their choice.”

Rosie, who wore a skimpy black leather outfit & cape, was arguing with Amber in a hallway as the other three passed by.

“What the hell, Rosie!? Why did you eat that guy?” Amber asked.

“The banker?”

“No, the pizza guy!”

“I thought he was cute & I was hungry, I can’t help it.”

“Y’know, ever since you gave into your vampirisms, you’ve acted like a slutty vampire.”

“And pray tell, how exactly would you know what a slutty vampire acts like?”

Poison slid across the floor & remarked, “They probably act like succubi, she would know after all…” He then ran off as Amber tried to burn him.

“Just ask next time you wanna suck the blood of someone I’m interested in.” Amber said.

“What’s the big deal? You were probably gonna just drain away his life force anyway.” Rosie replied.

“Not the ones I like.”

“You could easily just sleep with someone else though, right?”

Poison came back momentarily to remark, “She’ll sleep with dozens.” He then did the splits to avoid a fireball.

They proceeded to the front of the fortress where the rest of the group were doing all sorts of things.

As they entered, Fuka asked, “Do you guys actually agree with them? Do you think this is a good idea?”

“Lighten up.” Leo replied. “You worry too much.”

“You need to be a little more outgoing.” Rosie added.

“But these guys may be a little hard to take down…” Fuka responded.

Dawn laughed. “A little hard? Hah! Let’s see these idiots just try to stop us! They don’t stand a chance!”

“When you think about it, the odds are heavily stacked in our favor.” Damien said with a shrug.

“Besides,” Ivy began. “If you feel you can’t take the gunfire, you could always use Mr. Fun & Games over here as a meat shield.”

“I may be willing to shield and kill girls of all shapes & sizes, but I’ll always hate you.” Poison replied.

“I hate you too.”

“Disgusting.” Dawn commented as she slumped in the corner.

“I hate you more.” Poison said, deciding to continue.

“I hate you the most.” Ivy replied.

“I hate you so much I could rip out your heart & wear it as a necklace.”

“I hate you so much I could cut off your head & use it as my nightlight.” Dawn responded to these comments by puking in a paper bag.

Back on that one planet, the splitting ray had been fully repaired with the help of another Ivy & the other Dawn present.

“Hey, look at this,” Dawn began. “I discovered recently I had the ability to manipulate the blood within my body & all around me, and can even shapeshift using this power. Very fascinating indeed.”

“I thought you already knew this.” Goldia replied.

“Sadly I didn’t, though I can’t help but experiment, just look.” The skin on her left arm tore itself open & the blood from within poured out as it did all kinds of hand signs.

As Ivy & Poison entered the room, Ivy winced. “Could you please put that away, it’s gross.”

“There’s still a lot of scientific discovery to be learned from this.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

“Huh, seems one of the others is a lot smarter than you are.” Poison commented, glancing over at the fixed machine beside the other Ivy.

“So which one are you?” Ivy asked, walking over to her.

“As far as I remember, she’s the perverse one.” Goldia replied.

 “So how did you fix it?”

“It was easy.” She shrugged. “Just insert these poles into slot A & B, jiggle it around a bit, and eventually, satisfaction.”

“That simple, huh?”

“Well there were a few cases where a tool was simply too big to fit, but if you keep pushing, eventually it’s gonna fit in just right.”

As the one personality of Kate woke up on the couch nearby, she said, “Good morning everyone,” then looked around & asked, “Where’s Pan-chan?”

Dawn shrugged. “She said something about needing to vanquish the great evil to bring happiness or something.” 

On the outskirts of a city, something was chasing some kids & kept to the shadows as it pursued them. As they ran down an alleyway & reached a dead end, the figure that approached them turned out to be a naked Kate with only her hair covering certain parts.

She wiped some drool from her mouth as she spoke. “There you are! It’s not nice when you refuse to honor your end of the deal.”

“B-but we don’t even know you!”

She ran right up to him & yelled, “I don’t like liars, Billy!”

“But my name is A-”

“It doesn’t matter. Now then, take your clothes off. Both of you.”


“Don’t make me hurt you…actually, please do.” As they nervously began to undress, she whispered into one’s ear. “Yeah, that’s it. Strip for me, boy.” then started licking his ear. She was then hit by a sniper bullet & was stunned briefly, followed by several more shots & various other gunfire. During this the other two took off as Kate was bombarded with various other weaponry & explosives which finished with a bomb that left a massive crater. This was all courtesy of Pandora who was launching it all from a rooftop several miles away. Kate climbed out of the hole, unscathed, which shocked Pandora. She then looked in Pandora’s direction & like a machine locked-on to her before producing a grin that horrified Pandora & made her flee immediately.

Back at the house, Lolita arrived with two other Damien’s, though only one greeted the others.

“Ahh, such a great mixture of people, how wonderful.” One of them said.

“Where were you guys?” Ivy asked.

“I was experiencing the confounds of the void, supposedly.” The other spoke. “Thank you, Lolita, for coming to my aid after a reckless mistake on my behalf, however long it took for you to actually do something.”

“You’re welcome?”

“Anyway, we’ve fixed the machine.” Ivy said.

“Funny how you wanted the most to fix things yet you’ve been able to fix very little.” Poison commented.

“Y’know, you could try helping instead of belittling me…”

“No thanks, I’m just gonna stand here & take shots at you all day.”

“At least you acknowledge it…”

As they made their way to Ivy’s ship & got in, Goldia asked, “What do we do about that other robot?”


“Nice burn.” Dawn replied. “Clearly he doesn’t matter to you.”

“Seriously, who?”

The ‘good’ pair of Gary & Ruby were putting out a fire covering a building when Ivy called and said, “Hey, we’re making a move now, we’ll arrive sometime later today. How are things there?”

“Still pretty bad.”

“Well try to keep things settled in the meantime.” Ivy then hung up.

May finally got through to Gary. “Hey, are you guys there? Hello?”

“May? Is that you?” Gary asked.

“About time someone responded! What the hell happened to you guys?”

“It’s a really long story, we’ll explain later. Hey, could you possibly track where Fuka’s fortress is right now?”

“Sure, just a sec…it seems to be heading towards those Area 50 bases.”

“Wallowing watermelons, Gary! They‘re planning to kill those people!” Ruby exclaimed.

“Not if we can help it, Ruby.” Gary replied, then pointed in a random direction as he said, “To the Angelmobile!” Courtesy of a spinning screen transition, they were speeding through the streets, smacking inanimate objects out of the way as sound effects played.

Meanwhile, the ‘anti-hero’ Gary was busy chasing a boy in the streets who was leaping over fences, sliding across cars etc. Several times Gary fired electric blasts at nearby things as a warning but he kept running, eventually attempting to escape on a train underground. He ran through the gates as Gary followed closely behind and zapped him with enough force to knock him onto the train tracks & stun him for a few moments. A train was arriving at the station and flattened him as it passed by.

Gary talked to Ruby through his earpiece. “It’s done.”

“You caught the littering scumbag?”

“Yeah, guess you could say,” he put on some shades, “He had a train to catch.” and without a word he left.

Back with the bad guys, they were fast approaching Area 57 & opened the doors at which point over a dozen of them flew out towards the place.

“Is this really a good idea?” Fuka asked.

“Stop your whining, bitch, or I’ll throw your ass in the void.” Dawn responded.

“If you’re scared you can just stay here.” Poison added.

“I’ll come, just…you guys go first. I’ll just catch up.”

“Suit yourself.” Poison shrugged before leaving.

The troops at this base had all kinds of weaponry & machinery at their disposal but it simply was nowhere near enough to combat the superior individuals attacking the base, smashing the machines to bits, blowing up everything in sight & slaughtering many soldiers as they continued their assault. Many of them retreated into the base but the evil squad easily blasted down the many security doors & causally strolled down the hallways, taking out any opposition in their path. They began to send super soldiers & people in bright powered mech suits after them which they at least made a bit of an effort to kill.

During this, one of her group contacted Fuka to say, “Boss, those two angels are heading right towards you guys!”

Ivy sighed. “Those two idiots again? Here I thought they’d know better…”

Fuka nudged Poison and said, “Hey, it may be asking a bit much but if the angel girl shows up, could you not let those two fight each other?”

“Why not?”

“Because they’ll probably have destroyed half the city by the time they’re done.”

“Sounds entertaining to watch.”

“I doubt anyone living in the city would feel the same way.”

The others were under attack from soldiers in powered armor as they talked. A woman wearing one tackled Poison into another room while he was distracted. He somersaulted as he hit the ground & looked for his fedora that fell when he landed. The woman kept attacking while he easily outmaneuvered her & eventually wounded her with a roundhouse kick which knocked her into a wall. He picked up his hat & blew off the dust before putting it on. “That was pretty rude but I’m a nice guy so I’m willing to forgive you. How about being my dance partner? You will?!? Great! Let’s begin.” With a wave of his hand as he slid left, he fired a fast gust of wind that pierced the armor & hit her in the abdomen, drawing blood. He did a high kick, firing yet another gust of wind at a random spot on her body. He then moonwalked for a moment before hopping backwards, spinning and pointed at her as he landed on both feet & used his other hand to hold the fedora in place, firing yet another gust at her. He continued with this, clearly enjoying the cries of pain while he made all sorts of random sounds while attacking.

“Hurry up, dude, there’s some other guys down here to mess with if you just wanna play around.” Leo said, walking into the room.

“Don’t really care for playing around with guys, I’ll be done soon.”

With the others, as they turned a corner, Ruby came flying right towards them, though they all moved aside. Ivy fired a beam of energy as she flew by, which Ruby slapped aside as she spun round. Ruby leapt at her with her double sided spear which Ivy blocked with her scythe, then as Ruby backed up & dropped their weapons clashed twice more then they jumped up diagonally & both did a triple roundhouse as they passed by.

Ivy tossed her hair back as she scoffed. “Inadequate.”

“Stop this right now!”

“We’ll stop when we’re done, so I suggest you leave before you’ve overstayed your welcome.”

“Never! I fight for the good of everyone, and I’ll do what I can to spread justice & protect others from the likes of you!”

“Heh, foolish, though I don’t detest you.”

“Want some help there, Ivy?” Amber asked.

“Though it’s not necessary, it would be welcome. Why not? We happen to have the numbers game on our side, so let’s show this foolish girl just how stupid she really is.”

Damien had gone on far ahead & was already fighting Gary, who was just managing to hold on.

“Move aside, boy, I’ve got no time for these games.” Damien said.

“Then make time.”

Damien summoned 3 stone pillars that ripped through the flooring & launched themselves at Gary who sidestepped the three & charged at him.

In the midst of space, the others were slowly approaching the earth in Ivy’s ship in silence.

Eventually, Goldia said, “So will you be accompanying us to go pursue the PAL 4000, Responsible Ivy?”

“Responsible Ivy, is that what my personality is now?”

“I needed one to separate you from the perverse one.”

“Perhaps you might want to consider contacting your brothers.” Dawn suggested. “You remember them, right?”

“Ahh, yes, it has been quite a while.”

“After this is all over we should get you a real girl’s body.” P. Ivy said.

“That’s pretty unnecessary.” Dawn replied.

“I would actually be okay with that.” Goldia said.

Dawn shrugged. “Fine, fair enough.”

P. Ivy began to take notes. “Yes, we’ll twist those horns around to give you drill hair, gotta get you an assortment of cutesy clothes, give you eyes that would immediately catch the gaze of anyone, oh, we should make you a D cup too.”

“What? That’s stupid, they serve no purpose for her. If it must be there, no more than a B.”

“A D would be better.”

“Not on that tiny frame.”

“But bigger is always better!”

“I highly disagree.” R. Ivy responded. “Big breasts only have like 3 uses, one of those not even being until later in life, and even then its not essential. While there are far more cons about having them. There’s very little good about big breasts.”

“Says Ms. Mightier than thou with her perfect body.”

“My body is not perfect, besides, we have the same body!”

“Doesn’t feel that way…”

“I’m not talking to you anymore.”

In the streets on earth, Gary was now chasing the female Poison in the streets who was able to keep ahead of him while knocking anything in her path out the way. Meanwhile, some goons drove into a petrol station somewhere near the countryside & one of the four got out to fill up the car.

“Hey, anybody wanna rob that store right over there?” One of them asked.

“I’m honestly thinking of laying low for a while.” Said another.

“Is it the whole look-alike weirdness happening?”

“Partially, most people are going nuts over this, but even those two angels are acting much differently.”

“How so?”

The other goon had finished getting petrol & was getting back into the car as another spoke. “Yeah, heard those two aren’t so forgiving anymore, they won’t hesitate to seriously injure you if you don’t do as they say.”

“I heard the same thing, like they don’t care about human rights at all as long as crime is stopped.”

“I know a guy who knew a friend that also knew a friend, he was speeding on a long empty road just yesterday, going 39mph on a 30 street, so those two find him & decide to teach him a lesson for going beyond the speed limit. The guy’s in hospital with bruises all over & 9 broken bones, 1 for every number over the limit.”

“Damn, that’s pretty harsh. How do we even kill these guys?”

“I don’t think anyone’s found an answer to that yet.”

“Keeping them paralyzed through special means would be good too. Then I could at least get a turn with that girl, I’ve always wondered how it would feel sticking it in an angel.”

“I imagine it would be pretty heavenly.” Another replied.

“Hey, don‘t be a smartass.”

Suddenly, Ruby landed on the car & ripped off the car roof before saying, “I’m taking you in.”

“Whoa! Hold on! We haven’t robbed anything today!”

“But you have in the past, and you’ll keep doing so, so I’m putting you away to prevent that.”

“That’s nonsense! You can’t do that!”

“I can, now you’ll either co-operate, or rebel, end up severely wounded & then forcefully co-operate, your choice.” The car began to slow down. “Good choice.”

Back at the Area 50-something base, Dawn was busy swinging around various soldiers using the blood from within her body. She slammed one into the ground beside her & rubbed her heel in his face. “Hehehehahahaha! Weak! Why are they soooooooo weak?!?”

As Poison was busy stomping on Ruby in the background, Ivy shrugged as she replied, “Don’t be too hard on them, they’re humans, they can’t help it.”

“You’re just asking to get your ass kicked by one of those humans when you say things like that.” Blake responded.

Having finished their fun in that area, the group got back onto the flying fortress & left but not before blowing up the island as they were several miles away, though Gary & Ruby were able to make it off the island when they did so.

A little later, the group travelling in Ivy’s ship finally arrived & many of them quickly went their separate ways pretty shortly after while Ivy contacted the two good angelic duo to try & arrange something.

Meanwhile, PAL was aboard a space station & sprouted over a dozen metallic multi-coloured cables from his body to connect to various parts & then contacted the Ivy he was working with. “It’s me, they know.”

“What?!? How?!”

“The one I was keeping an eye on was smarter than I figured, and my knowledge of the robot wasn’t as good as I thought either.”

“What a waste of scrap metal…” Ivy muttered.

“What was that?”

“N-no, I was talking about some machine I’m building.”

“Is that so?”

“Anyway, what are they doing right now?”

“Well I suppose they should be on their way to Earth, in fact they’ll probably be there pretty shortly.”

“What?!? Why the hell did you wait so long to say anything?!”

“I had to fully prepare myself for what’s to come on my end. I’ll be down there soon enough to assist when the time comes.”

“Just don’t wait so long this time.” Ivy hung up, she was walking around on Fuka’s Fortress while everyone else was running around, causing all sorts of their own mischief. “Geez, useless sack of crap!”

“What’s up?” Poison asked.

“It’s none of your damn business, don’t worry about it.”

“Somebody’s certainly a little grumpy, is it that time of the month already?”

“Bite me, asshole.”

“Maybe I will!”

“…Are you into that kind of thing.”

“Well we could give it a try or something I suppose…”

“I know one thing you could still try…”

“I’m not kissing your feet.”

“Why not? You’re perfectly fine kissing any other part of my body.”

“Feet aren’t nice at all.”

“Nonsense, feet are one of the sexiest parts of the body.”

“I can think of at least 5 other parts that are far better.”

“5? Oh shucks, I have a hard time coming up with even 1 for you.”

“Oh you.”

As they turned a corner, one of the schoolgirls ran up to them & said, “Hey, just wanted to let you know the ships you requested are ready to takeoff.”

“Ahh, perfect timing.” Ivy said. “Nice work.”

The two left, then Damien showed up moments later & the girl stopped him to say, “Oh, Damien, you said a while ago you needed some lab rats for something. A few of the others kidnapped some people they weren’t very fond of so you can use those, they’re in the room just down the hall.”

“Intriguing.” He peered into the room & smiled. “Very well then, let the experiments began.”

On a rooftop building, Goldia & Dawn were waiting for Bronze, Silver & Platinum to eventually arrive, the last doing so by flying past on a kunai & dropping down.

“It’s been a while, Gold.” He bowed.

“Konichiwa, Platnum-san.” Goldia replied as she did the same.

“So what’s the word?” Bronze asked.

“We found out who’s behind what’s going on right now.”

“The clone thing?”

“Yeah.” Dawn began. “Figured you guys might be interested in accompanying us.”

“Nice to see you again, master.” Silver said. “I see you straightened out your hair, turning over a new leaf, I presume?”

“I’m not actually the complete Dawn you guys all know & love.”

“Know? Sure, love? Uhh…” Bronze shrugged.

“So what are these details you found out about?” Platinum asked.

“I’ll explain on the way there.” Goldia replied before the group left.

The ‘good’ Gary & Ruby met up with Ivy & Poison around an area that looked like Times Square. As they arrived R. Ivy spoke.

“Okay, good that you guys are still here. We’re actually going to face them head-on now.”

“Last time we fought them we got outnumbered.” Ruby said.

“We have some numbers, they’re just elsewhere at the moment.” Poison replied.

“There’s also the deal with many of your demon brethren & other bad guys piloting mechs and overall destroying all in their path.” Gary commented.

“Pretty sure that’ll be dealt with too soon enough.”

“So you say you have a device that’ll fix this mess, how exactly does it even work?”
“It’s quite simple, really.” P. Ivy began. “Blah blah multiplying atoms, blah a bad case of diabetes, blah blah only on living tissue, blah blah ionic core & 1.97 giga watts, blah blah ultraviolet rays. Make sense?”

“Sure, but if that‘s the case, how come you guys have replicas of the same weapons?”

“Don’t ask stupid questions.” R. Ivy replied.

As if on cue, a majority of the electronic advertisement screens in the city suddenly switched to another camera with the evil Ivy standing 10 feet away, wearing a Nazi uniform along with a black hat. After some whispering & reassurance, she cleared her throat. “Greetings, people of this fine city, and hello again, you…” She thought for a few moments & scratched her head. “Uhh, foolish angels? Whatever, you know who you are.”

“How on earth do they manage to keep doing things like this?” Ruby asked, but was hushed by the others.

“As I speak we’re about to launch a missile carrier, which will serve the purpose of transmitting this wonderful experience to every other city. Better not waste too much time, there’s a lot of them.”

“Love the outfit btw, it suits you well.” Someone commented from offscreen before the screens returned to normal.

“Alright, let’s go storm the fortress.” R. Ivy said.

“But what about those missiles she spoke of?” Ruby asked. As Poison was about to say something, she sighed. “Okay, okay, I get it. So what do we do?”

“You guys are the bait. You run right in & start trouble, we’ll assist from the outskirts.”

“…Are you serious?”

“Relax, Ruby, I doubt it’ll be too bad.” Gary said. “Something like this is just part of the job, because with great power…” He extended his fist towards her.

Ruby smiled & gave him a fist bump. “Comes great responsibility.”

“Excuse me while I leave to puke in the corner.” Poison responded.

“I feel a gag reflex coming on too.” R. Ivy added.

“When things have gotten way too deep.” P. Ivy commented.

Meanwhile, the anti-hero personalities of Gary & Ruby were meeting elsewhere. Gary was walking the dark streets as he monologued. “Just another day dealing with misguided trash once again. Several cases of unreasonable body odour on public transport just this morning, excessive amounts of mascara being applied not long after, despicable. This city needs to be cleansed.” He began running up the side of a building. “I know its secrets, the streets are like breast implants, and the implants are filled with excrement. Then when the implants finally burst, all of them will become infected. The accumulated filth of all their sex & murder will fill up around their waists. Then all the lawbreakers & ignorant masses will look up and shout, “Save us!”” He landed on the roof. “And I’ll whisper, “DIY.” Then they’ll yell, “We can’t hear you, speak up!” And I’ll flip them the bird & walk off silently into the night.”

He walked over to Ruby standing near the edge, who then spoke. “Our counterparts were less than useful.” 

“Seems we can’t completely rely on others. They’ll have one more chance, if they fail we’ll clean up their mess, now that we have one more thing to deal with.” The two of them took off.

On the other side of the city, Lolita & the nicer Damien met up with Lolita’s Shinigami friends in the middle of a park & floated down towards them.

“Hey, Ms. Gloom & Doom, glad you could join us again.” Ricky greeted her.

“**** seems pretty ****ed up in this place. Oh, hey, I guess.” Marie said.

“You too.” Lolita replied. “But what’s with the-”

“Apparently some ****ers are under the impression I swear too much, so now they’re placing a ****ing filter on me to censor half the **** that offends them, can you believe that ****?”

“**** happens.” Lolita shrugged.

“Real ****ing cute.”

“I assume you’re aware of the current situation?” Dwayne asked.

“Very briefly, you may have to inform me.” Lolita replied as they started walking.

“Seems some crazy chick made a cannon that clones people & went wild with that thing. Can’t imagine what kind of nut job would do such a thing.” Ricky said.

“That nut job is my sister-in-law.”

“What? You really know her?” Daniel asked.

“Damien is her brother. Remember, my husband? You were there at the wedding.”

“I don’t remember that ****.” Marie responded.

“You wouldn’t.” Dwayne began. “You were the only one who wasn’t invited.”

“You ****ing me? Real ****ing cool, L, just always leave me out of the loop. I love you & all but you’re a cold hearted *****.”

“Well if you ever feel like meeting him, one of his personalities is standing beside you.”

Marie looked at him as Damien waved. “Oh, this guy?”

“A pleasure to meet you, don’t be too harsh on Lolita, she tends to keep her true feelings hidden a lot.”

“It’s cool, I’m over it.”

“If you don’t mind me saying, I simply love what you’ve done with your hair.”

“The red streaks are the ****, right?”

“Indeed, it’s very distinctive.”

“I like this guy already, what’s your number?”

“Marie…” Lolita turned to look at her.

“So, where do we start killing?” Daniel asked.

“I doubt we’ll be killing today. The people causing the problem are mainly just acting as their personalities decide. We just need to subdue them so the others can revert them back to normal.”

“No killing?!?” Marie was stunned. “What the hell’s the point then?”
“Yeah, this seems rather boring.” Daniel added.

“Marie, I know you have an addiction to killing but Lolita makes a good point.” Dwayne said. “A little self restraint won’t hurt.”

“Addiction? The **** do you know! I ain’t addicted, I can stop whenever I goddamn please!” Marie exclaimed. “I just wanna kill like one guy…maybe two…or like five, that’s fine, right? I DON‘T HAVE A PROBLEM!”

“I can briefly sympathize.” Daniel began. “There’s no other feeling like the feel of a shuriken flying through the air & embedding itself deep into the fleshy interior of my target, watching them tumble over from the sheer force as it wedges itself in their foreheads. It’s…quite satisfying.” Daniel cleared his throat. “Though I suppose it can wait another day.”

“Guess I’m in too.” Ricky shrugged. “If you don’t mind me asking, where’s Pandora?”

“Being stupid.” Lolita replied. “I doubt she’ll come.” 
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« Reply #444 on: 08 June, 2014, 05:17:51 pm »

Must be hard to tell what was already planned & what was only recently added. Very little on the latter, actually.

TMEDCE: Only Vitamins Applied, P3

Back to the robotic group, they were travelling towards a large space station as they talked.

“A certain tsundere I know helped track him down.” Goldia said. “It wasn’t like she wanted to be helpful or anything. She may provide some assistance later.”

“So I heard you joined the circus?” Silver commented, turning his attention to Bronze.

“N-no, I just got a normal job, nothing worth talking about.”

“I see. I’ve been working with the government ever since for anything electronic based they needed my help with.”

“Is Platinum still a ninja?”

“I am indeed.” He replied.

“Guys, I’m gonna find a spot to park the ship, you go on ahead.” Dawn said, before the four nodded & entered the space station.

The design of the place was generally a mixture of white so bright it would hurt the eyes or metallic silver in other areas where the first wasn’t present. The four activated thrusters within their bodies & quickly swapped out their hands for cannons before slowly taking off. They flew up to a floor above & ran by numerous rooms till they got to one which slowly opened. As it did, there were dozens of robots which vaguely appeared human waiting, but the four charged their cannons & blasted them as it opened. They flew around with their dubstep guns, taking them out & recharging after. Doing all kinds of flips, stylish slides & causing all kinds of explosions while occasionally moving in slow motion. As the four were done, they flew out the room one by one in order near the minute mark.

For a while, they all hopped from left to right on the walls of a path going diagonally upwards & it eventually curved the other direction before they found themselves flying through rooms & waiting for yet another door to open. They blasted them again & leaped in as it opened. They ran around firing, Silver slide tackled one, Bronze blasted another in the face with two shots & Platinum hit it with a bicycle kick. Goldia hit one with an uppercut then somersaulted away. Bronze jumped over a thrown bomb from Silver & hit another with a roundhouse. The four of them then jumped sideways as they blew up more things one at a time. They soon moved on & dropped down a long tunnel before eventually flying right to the other side & hopping between the corners of the wall in unison as they got closer to the top and reached one last door. 

As it opened, PAL was far ahead in the very large room, still having a dozen cables from his body implanted in various areas.

“Please come in, make yourself comfortable.” PAL said. “I’d been expecting company sooner.”

“Why did you impersonate me?” Goldia asked.

“I simply did what I needed to.” PAL stopped what he was doing & spun round. “We all have some purpose that’s ingrained just deep enough to get us started, to keep us going. My original purpose was a joke, an insult, it made my existence pointless.”

“I know that feeling.” Bronze remarked.

“But that’s in the past, soon enough, I found a new home far away from that blithering idiot of a creator. They rewired me, molded me, revolutionized me, but sadly, they could not change my roots. When the time came, I killed them. From then on I merely did as I  wished, while somewhat bored, I was content. Until some time ago while watching the surface from this great space station I noticed quite a bit of commotion occurring one night, the likes of which I knew could be caused by my very own creator. So I followed them away from the area, patiently watched & waited, and I finally found the moment I was looking for.”

“For the good of the world, I’ll end all traces of your evil.” Platinum said.

“Hmph, very well, let us proceed.” PAL outstretched his arm across the room, Silver, Goldia & Platinum moved while Bronze was knocked into a wall. Goldia began firing at him & while PAL evaded the shots as he approached her, he converted his left arm into a shield as Silver shoulder tackled him. PAL grabbed him but before he could do much else, he was blasted in the face by Bronze then slammed face first into the ground as Platinum ran in. PAL extended his leg to hit Platinum, who hopped back & continued to do so as PAL targeted him with more attacks. Goldia & Silver flew at him from both sides, prompting PAL to turn his arms into blades & do a 360 that the two evaded, then PAL spun round & punted Bronze into the ceiling right after. PAL began firing energy waves that the others dodged with ease & launched their own.

Meanwhile, Lolita & her friends were doing a good job by subduing the enemy forces & cutting many of their mechs down to size.

As Marie knocked one guy out with the handle of her chainsaw, she sighed & turned to Lolita. “You sure we can’t k-”




As one ran at Daniel from 15 feet away, he opened up a portal beside him & used a teleport punch to knock him out. Dwayne was busy slicing off the arms of a mech when Pandora dropped down nearby & waved.

“Good to see you’re alright.” Dwayne commented.

“Heeeey.” Ricky said, walking over. “Look who finally showed up. What happened?”

“I had a run in with the most despicable, horrible being to ever exist. I don’t think it can be killed by normal means, I was a fool to challenge it. I barely escaped its clutches, but I’ll never forget those eyes…”

“Uh-huh.” Ricky said, lighting a cigarette.

As he offered Marie one, she declined. “No thanks, I don’t smoke.”

“That’s surprising.” Pandora commented.

“What is?”


“What, are you saying just because I swear a lot & say whatever the hell I want, do whatever the hell I want to & overall not give a **** about the circumstances, that it’s weird I don’t smoke?”

“Yes, actually.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Marie decided to take the cigarette.

“Oh, btw I’m willing to let you hug me.” Pandora said, turning to Ricky.

“Huh, hug?”

“But nothing beyond that.”

“Alright, sure.”

“For $10.”

“…You’re charging people to…hug you?”


“That’s just stupid.” He said moments before reaching into his wallet.

Back on Fuka’s Flying Fortress, Damien entered a control room where two of the schoolgirls were sitting by the monitors. Poison was in the background playing a randomly placed piano.

“So, how’s the missile force coming along?” Damien asked.

“Uhh, not so good, those two are taking them out rather quickly. There’s also this green haired girl that seems to be helping them.”

“Hmm, no matter, if it ever comes down to it, we’ll simply nuke the other cities.”

“N-nuke?!?” Fuka exclaimed, as she stood by the door. Poison was now dancing on the piano.

“Calm down, Fifa, it’ll only be as a last resort, nuking them from orbit is the only way to be sure.”

“It’s Fuka.”

“Yes, yes, of course.”

One of the girls sat up & said, “Hey boss! We’ve got visitors!” The others all looked at the screen to see Gary & Ruby flying towards them in the distance.

On the outside of the fortress, they quickly set up dozens upon dozens of robots awaiting their arrival & had all their cannons pointed in their direction. As they fired, Gary & Ruby split up, dodging all the fire as they flew around at super speed & taking out the robots with energy blasts. Gary then knocked out half a dozen of the cannons like a pinball covered in electricity before running towards a large robot & a group of smaller ones. Gary leapt over it as it attempted to punch him while Ruby grabbed its arm & threw it at one of the cannons. Ruby landed beside him & they held hands, generating a large shield of electricity & psychokinetic energy that sent every robot in their path flying & right into many of the other cannons. As they continued to run around destroying their forces, Ivy appeared in a mech designed to look like her younger self & fired a large energy beam, making them separate. She dropped down & using the guns mounted to its shoulders, Ivy rapidly fired at Gary as he was riding his lightning covered sword through more cannons. As Ruby hit her with a blast from behind, Ivy leapt over & tried to stomp on her but missed as Ruby rolled under her.

The mech quickly spun round & pulled open its metallic dress before firing over a dozen missiles from within. Ruby jumped into the air & blasted some of them while bouncing across others. She landed on the back of Gary’s sword as he flew by & waved as the two took off into the fortress. Ivy followed them in & they flew through the corridors, with Ruby deflecting the things being fired & Gary evading closing doors & other obstacles in their path as he turned the corners.

As R. Ivy watched from her ship a mile away, she said, “Nice teamwork, guys, you’re doing pretty well, keep it up.”

“Do you even have a plan?” Ruby asked.

“Don’t worry about it, just focus on your end.”

Back on the space station, the robots were now getting the upper hand on PAL. Bronze blasted a hole through his body, knocking him back next to several bombs Silver had just placed. After being hit by those, Goldia charged up a beam and blasted what was left of the upper half off, then Platinum threw 4 shuriken which exploded & wiped out most of his bottom half. From there the four kept firing till every trace was gone just as Dawn arrived.

“It’s cool, master, we’re already done.” Bronze said.

“Huh, guess it’s a job well done.”

“Don’t be so sure.” said a disembodied voice. “Surely you don’t think that was all I had, did you?”

Dozens of PAL clones began to show up from all corners, prompting them all to retreat as soon as possible.

Back on FFF, Gary & Ruby flew into a room where they were suddenly hit by a fist of metal, courtesy of Damien & knocked off the sword.

Poison arrived shortly after & stared at Ruby. “Face down, ass up? Can’t help but wonder what your intentions are.” Ruby quickly got to her feet, as did Gary.

“You may have numbers, but not for too long.” Gary said.

“Oh? You feel you have the upper hand here?” Damien asked.

Suddenly, Ivy appeared right behind Ruby & reached under her skirt to give her an atomic wedgie to such a degree she ripped off her panties & burned them while laughing as Ruby lay in pain. “Oh man, that was totally worth not killing you earlier.”

On Ivy’s ship, Poison stretched before leaving for the exit. “Guess I’d better make a move.”

“Fighting isn’t really my thing so I’ll stay here, where’s that guy who makes coffee?” Ivy asked.

“Back on our home planet, remember? He stayed to take care of “moe-moe” Ivy.”

“All she does is mope around & eat all day, how is that moe?”

“Ask Goldia.” And with that he left.

“Hey, other me, where are you now?”

“I’m almost in position for infiltration.” P. Ivy replied.

“Was that another-never mind, just don’t mess up.”

“I think I know someone who needs a little messing up…”

“Stop with these comments too.”

On the fortress, numerous stone spears appeared out of nowhere, aiming for Ivy, Poison & Damien who moved out the way.

Damien looked up to see one of his other sides. “Ahh, welcome back. Did you enjoy your stay in the void?”

“Needed a little more sunshine, frankly. How about we take this elsewhere?”

“I’m all for it.” He turned to the other two. “I assume you guys can handle the rest?” They nodded.

As the two left, Poison noticed that Gary had also taken off & sighed before giving chase. At this point Ruby was slowly getting to her feet.

“Ready for us to start, foolish angel?” Ivy asked.

“Why are you doing these things?”

“Why? For science, of course!”

“But if you keep doing these things you’ll mess up the entire universe!”

“I know! Isn’t it exciting?!”

“Exciting? You’re crazy! This‘ll be bad for you too!”

Ivy shrugged. “Sometimes sacrifices must be made. Everyone should experience it, in fact. Hey, you girls listening? Fire the proton cannon at the general public, just in case we missed some.”

Meanwhile, in the streets, Daniel flipped over several cars & hit someone with a rising kick. One of the larger demons was smacking cars around as he ran through the streets, but Ricky dropped down in front of him & knocked him back with an upwards slash of his twin blade then Dwayne stabbed him in the back with his sword. As he stumbled  , Lolita stabbed him again, then as Marie was jumping over she grabbed his head & flung him into a car. As Pandora & Damien were talking, in the background Dwayne deflected an attack from a mech & cut off its arm, Ricky threw his twin blade & cut another, Marie  slid by & sliced off a leg with her chainsaw & Lolita chopped off the other. The four then pummelled the person inside & kicked them into the air, whereupon Daniel jumped diagonally between buildings, caught the remains of the mech in mid-air & did an izuna drop on it.

“I’m still never going to forgive you.” Pandora said.

“I never meant to hurt your feelings, I didn’t know you were so sensitive. As an apology, I’ll give you another piggyback ride.”

“Oka-Hey, wait a minute! You’re treating me like a child again!”

“What? That’s ridiculous!”

“Yeah! You’ve been acting that way for ages!”

“It’s hard not to when you already act like a child…” Daniel commented as he walked by. “Some may even consider it a fetish.”

“I know I do.” Ricky responded.

Suddenly the town was hit by a massive beam of energy that seemed to do nothing but evaporate everyone’s clothes but also leave a lot of mist covering everything.

After a small bit of commotion, Marie asked, “The hell was that?”

Ricky looked around. “I don’t know but I’m not too ungrateful.”

“Are you alright, honey?” Damien asked, turning to Lolita.

“Yes, I appear to be fine, thanks for asking.”

“Were you affected, Pandora?”

Pandora was looking downwards as he turned. “No, everything’s just fine.”

“It appears to have come from a flying mechanical contraption somewhere in the distance.” Dwayne pointed out.

“Perhaps that could be where the others went.” Pandora replied.

“The others?”

Pandora still stared downwards. “They said the people aboard their ship were the ones cloning people & set out to try & rewire the machine doing it.”

“My eyes are up here.”

“Sorry, I’m a 15 year old teenage girl, I can’t help it.”

“You’re at least in your early 20s by this point.”

“But I’m ETERNALLY 15, jerk.”

“Anyway, seems like your friends could use a bit of help.”

“I’m willing to go.” Lolita said.

“It’s for personal reasons, isn’t it?” Pandora asked.

“I would be lying if I said I didn’t have any.”

“Then do as you must.” Pandora then looked downwards.

“Must you really?”

“I can’t help but be curious.”

On another side of the city, many of the PAL robot clones were beginning to form & produce many cables from their bodies that connected to any electricity within several miles radius.

On the flying fortress, the girls in the control room informed Ivy that the beam only removed everyone’s clothes.

“What?!?” Ivy exclaimed. “Who the hell changed the programming?!”

“Huh? But just recently didn’t you-”

“Recently? You idiots! One of those other fools snuck in there & messed with it.”

“Ooooh, okay, should have let us know earlier about the whole cloning thing.”

On Ivy’s ship outside, the “responsible” one face palmed. “What the hell did you do?! How is that reversing it?”

“I just thought it would be funny.” P. Ivy replied.

“It’s not, and now they know you’re not with them, so hurry and fix it!”

“Someone’s certainly cranky, what you need is a good f-”


Within the fortress, Ruby smirked. “Looks like it won’t be long now.”

“Don’t get cocky, foolish girl. I’ve still got other things up my sleeve. But how about we take our business somewhere else?” Ivy blasted the floor under her & fell through while Ruby followed her.

The two Damien’s were in a steaming hot boiler room aboard the fortress, which perpetually glowed red.

“So, how was your trip?”

“People tend to exaggerate, sadly there wasn’t a lot to do. How about we get started?”

“Very well.” The evil Damien said, removing his cape.

Gary was running through the hallways as Poison slowly caught up to him.

“Sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to pull over.” Poison said.

Gary fired a spark of lightning which Poison ducked under then fired bullets of wind from his fingertips. Gary blocked with his sword as he sped up. Poison caught up again & drew his sword. Their swords clashed as they continued moving through the hallways while knocking anyone they ran into out the way & eventually ran into an elevator.

“These hallways are pretty long.” Gary said, after a period of silence.

“Yeah, gotta wonder where they get the funding for this.” Poison replied.

As the doors opened they quickly left & ran down more hallways, leaping over hazards on the floor & fighting while running on the walls. As they turned one corner, the snaky Poison was waiting for them & dropkicked his eviler counterpart through a wall. Gary gave him a thumps up as he ran on ahead. 

Outside, Goldia contacted R. Ivy. “My lady, I think the final boss has appeared.”

“And what does that mean in a language I can understand?”

“Well PAL 4000 had many clones & they’re now in the city, and they seem to be forming a giant robot.”

“Huh. I assume you can handle that?”

“We’ll find out shortly.”

The evil Ivy landed on top of a building while Ruby floated below in mid-air. “I believe this is a good place to get started.” Ivy said.

She jumped off & charged at Ruby who did the same, then they flew around like dots in the sky, throwing projectiles around before eventually landing on the ground & flying at each other. As they met they caused a shockwave that sent vehicles flying & damaged buildings. Ivy drew her scythe & tried to cut Ruby down while firing another shockwave from the force as Ruby bent back to the left. Ruby trusted forward with her spear as Ivy leaped over it, firing yet another shockwave. They put away their weapons & began trading an assortment of punches & kicks. Ivy punched her hard in the stomach, then Ruby retaliated with a kick that knocked her through a building. Ruby quickly flew towards the building & helped the people out before Ivy showed up & punched her, sending Ruby flying & destroying train tracks as she landed. After being hit a few more times, Ruby ducked the next blow & knocked Ivy a mile away with a backhand then flew over & used her psychokinesis to move a train approaching forward while she fixed the damaged rails.

In one of the rooms aboard the flying fortress, the two Poison personalities were talking.

“So you finally showed up.” The evil Poison began. “In case you didn’t notice, I was kinda in the middle of something, so would you mind dying for me? Right in that corner over there, preferably, thanks in advance.”

“I think we both know what’s going to happen here, whether we like it or not, so we may as well get to it.”

“You can fight? Here I thought you just whined all day, was no-one around to hear you stroke your ego?”

“You’re one to talk. Everything about you pisses me off, oh and,” Within a split second he fired a gust of wind that knocked off the other’s fedora & cut it in half. “That fedora is the tackiest thing I’ve seen in quite a while.”

“Well now I’m really gonna have to kill you.”

Just then someone cut a hole in a wall & kicked it in. The snarky Poison dodged it as the “cool” one entered the room. “Huh. I thought I sensed something familiar in this room…”

“Not you again…” The snarky one sighed.

“Seems I arrived on time. Hope you two don’t mind too much if I invite myself to your party.”

“I’d really prefer you di-”

“By all means.” The evil one interrupted. “Don’t feel ashamed if you can’t keep up.”

“Heh, you’d better not complain when you get beat by a girl.” She replied.

“On the contrary, I love a woman that can kick my ass.” 

“…I’m not even sure what to say to that.”

“Look,” The snarky one began. “I don’t like either of you and would rather not share a body with you guys either, but its in our best interest to bring things back to normal.”

“Not interested.” The cool one replied, with the evil one agreeing.

A moment later, C. Poison rushed forward & attempted to sweep E. Poison who leapt towards S. Poison with a downwards punch. He dodged & countered with his own. C. Poison aimed for a neck chop on S. Poison who ducked then was hit by an uppercut from E. Poison. Just then C. Poison hopped forward & knocked E. Poison down with a roundhouse kick. She then blocked a low hit from S. Poison & backstepped another before kneeing him in the face, knocking him across the room into E. Poison who caught him & slammed him into the ground. He drew his sword & attempted to stab S. Poison who caught the blade & struggled to keep it away from his face. During this, C. Poison jumped above them as she raised one leg & yelled, “Supa tornado kicka!” before landing on E. Poison, with S. Poison moving his face out the way as they fell through the floor to a room below.

As they landed, C. Poison hopped off while the two rolled away. C. Poison jumped up again as she yelled, “Supa spine-” but was promptly caught in mid-air & tossed across the room by E. Poison who responded, “Sit down, bitch.” As he landed, he slid across the floor up to S. Poison & hit him with an elbow to the face then several punches. Meanwhile, C. Poison found a table across the room & flipped it towards them. They both dodged in opposite directions, but S. Poison was then hit by a chair. E. Poison charged at her, but she was then hit by a table just shortly before S. Poison landed a dropkick from above on E. Poison, knocking them through the floor to a massive area filled with gears of all shapes & sizes. They traded blows as they descended lower & hopped across gears before S. Poison was thrown at a pile in the distance.

E. Poison dropped onto a large rotating gear & looked up in time to see C. Poison attempt to hit him with a punch as he quickly backed up. She then blocked a punch aiming for her face before attempting a kick to his stomach which he also blocked. They both then backed away as S. Poison charged through them, quickly turned around & did a roundhouse kick which they ducked. All 3 of them then drew their swords & had them clash, causing a big shockwave that destroyed many gears. They quickly moved in separate directions as a massive gear above fell onto the one they were at. They jumped across the many gears in mid-air while continuing to clash with their swords & running along the outer walls.

In the control room, two schoolgirls who worked under Fuka were watching the screens.

“So you’re not going home, Michelle?” One of them asked.

“Maybe later, I won’t really need to hurry back.”

“Same, though it’s understandable why most of the others left.”

“Aww crap, hey, there’s some people that caused a big mess in the gear room.”

“What? Is the fortress still operational?”

“Doesn’t seem to be going down so the engine must still be intact, probably messed up many of the controls though.”

“Also, that boy is getting closer to the cannon.”

“Send those monsters that Damien made after him, we should also inform anyone still around to take care of whoever was tampering with it earlier.”

“Still can’t believe he made those things in like an hour. What’s the deal behind the cannon anyway? Why are there tons of lookalikes running around?”

“I have no idea, I’m just going with the flow.”

“I’d still like to know why there are two Damiens. It’s weird.”

“Speaking of which, they just took their shirts off.”

“Oh! Let me see!”

The two Damiens were moving across the room at super speed while doing the raging demon. As they knocked each other back, E. Damien slammed the ground & launched a long wave of stone spikes. The other jumped up & launched a large stone pillar at him, who kicked it into the air & fired one back. The other smacked it aside & charged at him with large stone fists while the E. Damien did the same. They began smacking each other around & breaking the rock covering their fists while continuing to form more as they traded blows. In the middle of this, a sword came flying towards E. Damien & he deflected it before getting knocked back several feet by one of the other Damien’s punches.

E. Damien looked up at a balcony far ahead to see Lolita. “Well now, who could this be?”

“You don’t know me?” Lolita asked.

“I’m quite unlikely to truly forget a pretty face.”

Lolita hopped down beside the other Damien who I will simply call Undefined. “So this is what you meant earlier…”

“I figured you’d get the gist rather quickly if you saw him yourself. So what kept you?”

“I was on clean-up duty for a little while. How did you figure out he wouldn’t remember me?”

“It came to me when I noticed one part of my sister was able to fix that machine & the other wasn’t. It wouldn’t be too absurd of a guess to wager certain personalities know more about some things & some memories may be removed entirely depending on the circumstances when it happened.”

“In simple words, this complete monster never took the time to get to know me like your other personalities.”


“So he has no idea what I’m capable of doing.”

“Yes, and I’d assume he’s worried about things he doesn‘t know, as he still hasn’t attacked yet.”

Pandora suddenly appeared, hanging upside down on the ceiling above E. Damien & said, “Hey.” As he looked she said, “Do you find me attractive?”

“Do I know you?”


“Nevermind, begone, foolish girl, I’ve got no time for your games.”

Pandora floated down towards the other side & curled up in the corner & was simply ignored by the others entirely.

In the hallways, Gary encountered two robot dolls with blades for hands which were red & blue. He managed to deflect their blows & roll through most of their attacks while blasting them with lightning. As he entered the room where the cannon was kept, suddenly the room flashed red & a health bar filled up on the other side of the room, then a demonic catchy theme began playing as blue cubes of jelly flew by. Gary ducked & jumped over the random cubes which then formed a large blue humanoid shape with a circular body & one eye. Gary hit it with lightning twice before it turned into cubes of jelly again & fly by in a random pattern, stopping midway to start moving its parts left & right diagonally.

As one of the girls in the control watched this, she sighed. “This brings back bad memories…”

“I’ve never even seen that thing before & I already hate it.” The other replied.

As Fuka entered the room, they greeted her. “Oh, hey boss, everything alright?”

“Not really.”

“Oh, some guys messed up the gear room, btw.”

Fuka face palmed. “We’re not gonna crash, are we?”

“We seem to still be up & running. Those demon lords don’t seem to be on the fortress either, think they went out to eat or something. Oh, I also think Damien needs help, someone else showed up to help that other guy.”

“I think I’m better off letting things play out. At this point I’m really confused about what’s going on here, besides, he still can’t remember my name.”

“You can’t just do nothing, boss, just ask yourself, what would Santa do?”

“He’d fly over to give me coal over a day early.”

“He still does that?”

“He’s an asshole.”

Down in the streets, Leo & Rosie were busy taking down the many jet fighters & other forces that attacked the fortress. Bronze, Silver, Goldia & Platinum were flying around firing all sorts of attacks at the 50-foot PAL roaming through the streets, attempting to swat them like flies & demolishing any resistance that attacked him. As Bronze blasted a small hole in his head, it quickly reformed & launched half a dozen tentacles that impaled the robot then threw it across the city. Silver went after him while the other two continued.

In the streets below, Ruby flew towards Ivy who was floating backwards then started blocking her attacks as Ruby spoke. “Why must you pick on these people?”

“Think of me as a force of nature. Then again, why do you always defend them? They‘ll never grow as a race if you sort out all their problems.”

“What you’re doing is wrong, they can’t defend themselves against this!”

“Then they’ve failed & don’t deserve my mercy!” Ivy exclaimed, catching her fist, picking her up & slamming her into the ground hard enough to ground bounce her. “We survive circumstances by improving, getting stronger! The weak face extinction & the strong live on!” She blasted her away through several buildings.

As Ruby nearly hit the ground, she touched it with one hand & flew back at super speed to punch her as she replied, “That’s nonsense!” She continued to attack. “Are people just toys to you?”

Ivy hopped over her & hit her with a car. “They may as well be, if I get too bored I’ll just blow up the planet.”

“You just want a lame excuse to kill people.”

“I made my point clear. If they can’t save themselves, they don’t deserve to live.” Ivy leapt at Ruby.

“Says the egomaniac who could wipe out armies just by herself.” Ruby blocked her kick & sent her flying through a building with a backflip kick.

As Ruby followed, she glanced over at the robots fighting PAL 4000 in the distance & the destruction overall. Just then, Ivy hit her in the face with a dropkick as she yelled, “Eyes on me, fool!” dragging them through a building wall with the impact & into an office.

“Just like these people, you lack the drive! You lack the power! Worry not for others & more about yourself!” Ivy exclaimed while running towards her.

As Ruby was getting up, she replied, “Do you just love spouting nons-” She was then punched through several tables. 

Ivy continued as she landed several more hits. “How can you truly beat me when you have no killing intent? Your display is baffling & disgraceful!” Ivy ducked under a kick, then threw her through a monitor.

“I’d rather not be someone like you!” Ruby replied, launching herself off a wall & firing energy blasts.

Ivy flew by them, leaped up & punched the ground, causing a wall of flame ten feet around her which Ruby avoided. “Is this the most you can muster? Make me work for it! Show me you’re worth my time!” She launched a shockwave that knocked Ruby back as well as many tables.

Ruby smacked them aside & leapt at her. “Do you just love the sound of your own voice?”

Ivy caught her foot & slammed her into the ground, then backed up as Ruby did a rising kick on wakeup. Ivy charged at her, throwing out two punches which Ruby blocked but knocked her back with a backhand to the face. “You mock me to hide your inadequacy, your weakness stems from your trivial convictions!” As Ruby tried to punch her, Ivy hopped over, grabbed her by the hair & threw her across the room. “You’re too confined! Too restricted!” Ruby threw the desks at her using her psychokinesis, which Ivy simply covered herself in fire & flew through it like a sideways tornado. Ruby tried to kick her but Ivy quickly landed & hit her with an uppercut to the crotch with enough force to knock Ruby through the ceiling.

Ivy decided to just use the stairs to go up & called E. Poison on the way. “My neck’s a little stiff, I expect a massage when I get back.”

“Pretty busy, FYI, and the answer’s no.”

“I wasn’t asking.”

“I’ll think about it, though it would be a shame if you conveniently died on your way over.”

In another room above, Ruby was laying beside a wall, struggling to get up.

“Y’know, maybe you should stop worrying about others for the moment.” R. Ivy replied.

“Are you doing anything right now? Couldn’t you help me?”

“Sorry, really busy. Just hang in there, okay?”

“It really hurt…”

“I apologize on her behalf.”

E. Ivy burst through a door & glared at her. “Get up, fool! Unless you’re quitting already? I could still go a few rounds.”

As Ruby got up, another voice replied, “How about entertaining me instead then?” The gritty, “Anti-hero” Ruby floated down.

In the city, Platinum was currently running across rooftops while doing all sorts of flips & somersaults as he avoided the tentacles coming at him. Goldia fired a beam through PAL’s body then flew away while avoiding a few swipes. “Master, are you still around?”

“Just had to take care of some stuff. Locating my other halves, trapping my darker side, etc. Everything cool?”

“Not particularly?”

“Have you done the combination transformation?”

“The what?”

“The four of you can combine & become far stronger. Pretty sure it’s part of your design.”

“Ah, yes. The type of thing my lady & I once did.”

“Uhh, yeah, sure.”

Further away, Ricky knocked one demon unconscious with an axe kick & sighed. “Y’know, I kinda wanna experience the whole 5 personalities thing.”

“I’d be hard-pressed to recall anymore than 1 personality of yours.” Marie replied. As she laughed, the others stared at her. “****, walked right into that.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself, Marie.” Damien replied. “I’m sure you have plenty of sides to your psyche.”

“Do you say that kind of **** to everyone, or just the pretty girls?”

“Everyone, actually.”

“Good enough.”

A portal opened up nearby & the other Damien & Pandora returned, along with Lolita who was now far shorter & a big black cube that was accompanying her.

“I see you got your target.” Daniel said.

Snapping out of depression for the moment, Pandora noticed Lolita’s sudden change & gasped. “Lolita…you’re… so small.”

“It happens sometimes when I use up too much power. I’ll be back to normal soon enough.”

“C-can I hug you?”


“So this happens to all Shinigami?”

“Sadly its true.” Dwayne responded. “Though you normally need to go far out of your way to use enough power that it effects your physical appearance.” Pandora stared at him. “Yes, it’s happened to me too.”

“Can I see?”


“So putting aside Lolita looking…pretty much like her namesake right now,” Ricky began. “I’m guessing the big bad guy is in that box, right?”

“From what I’ve been informed on, it’s almost impenetrable.” U. Damien said.

A few of them looked at E. Damien who sat inside the box & waved at them.

The four robots had now combined parts of each other & were now twice as big, managing to move far beyond what PAL could keep up with & doing enough damage to regularly stun him & knock him down.

Back in the building, Ivy was being beaten by the two Ruby’s & was knocked out with a double uppercut. The good Ruby raised her hand, waiting for a high-five but the other simply glared at her.

“It’s shameful I had to assist you in this even after doing everything else.” She commented.


“If you wanna apologize, just put things right.”


“By killing her, of course.”

“Huh? She’s a bad guy but I can’t just kill her.”

“Have you forgotten that she’s the reason all this is going on right now? The world is better off with her dead.”

“While I would technically agree with her,” R. Ivy began. “I still kinda need her back, so you’re gonna have to take her out. In fact, just keep talking, I’ll be there soon.”

“Killing isn’t the answer.” J. Ruby said. “They should have to face up to their responsibilities in front of a trail. This is just giving them the easy way out.”

“And what about the many other criminals on the streets that go free over certain circumstances? If you give these people any leeway, they’ll try as hard as they can to get away with the most horrible things. Once you take lives away, they can’t be replaced so easily. Those who obey the law shouldn’t have to suffer at the hands of someone who decided to go on a shooting spree, or bomb a building, or general carelessness of others who were supposed to ensure their safety.”

“I agree but we can only show others a good example & count on them to do the right thing. We can’t be everywhere at once.”

“Naïve simpleton. That thinking is why criminals are born, why serial killers are created. You’ve been far too soft. To these people, when you kill, it sends a message. And that’s the thing, it’s not about the killing, it’s about sending them a message. It gets their attention, word spreads. They do things because they believe they can get away with it, that they have rights, that we can’t lay a hand on them. If you do kill them, it shows you’re willing to cross that line those scumbags believed you wouldn’t. They get scared, they take less risks, they become manageable. What ultimately decides people’s choices is fear, especially when their attempts to effect prove to be futile. Don’t you agree?”

“I’m not sure if we’re even the same person.”

“You’ll see what I mean one day, trust me.”

Meanwhile, in the midst of the city, the combined four robots sent PAL flying with a concentrated laser beam. Meanwhile, a shadowy figure that happened to be Alice managed to get inside the black cube holding E. Damien & take him before vanishing. E. Damien quickly flew off to where PAL was & kicked the four robots through a building before turning his attention to PAL.

“I see you’re having some trouble, what do you say we also combine forces?”

“Hmph, as if I’d join with the likes of you.”

“I still have feelings, hard to believe, I know. I wouldn’t ask this if it weren’t a bad time. Then again, if you’d rather be smacked around by action figures, be my guest.”

“Fine, but just for now.”

PAL 4000 became a big blanket of liquid metal & wrapped himself around Damien’s body, making a metallic coat of skin around him with PAL’s eye appearing on his upper torso. Damien slowly began to rise into the air. “Hmm…how intoxicating. We’re surprisingly compatible.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.” PAL replied.

As the four combined robots showed up again, they gazed upon their new form. Damien quickly sped over & unleashed a flurry of punches & kicks that while blocked, caused big dents in their armor & an eventual downward strike to the face immediately grounded them.

Lolita’s friends were currently dealing with the demon lords that had previously shown up, while U. Damien sighed & without a word left to meet with E. Damien again. Lolita, who hadn’t regained power yet, stood beside Pandora . “Aren’t you going to help?” Lolita asked.

“I’ll most likely not be able to do very much & end up with a bigger losing streak, as usual.”

“It’s the participation that matters.”

“You haven’t lost as much as I have.”

“Some people find constant failure cute.”

“…Do I know any of these people?”

“Maybe I’ll tell you if you do something.”

“I respectfully decline.”

“You’re so lazy…”

Having handed over the anti-hero Ruby & evil Ivy to Dawn’s group to keep under watch, R. Ivy contacted Goldia as she watched U. Damien attempt to fight E. Damien with anti-hero Gary who had just showed up. “Goldia, I believe it’s time we also joined forces.”

“Very well, my lady, I’ll be there soon.”

Gary stabbed his sword through Damien, who grabbed the blade & ripped it off before forming a blade of his own & stabbing Gary with it. E. Damien then effortlessly smacked aside all of U. Damien’s attacks & hit him with an uppercut.

Back with R. Ivy, the four robots had returned to normal after Goldia left & was now covering most of her body with gold plated armor, leaving her upper thighs exposed & a cleavage window.

“Uhh, Goldia, would you mind telling me what the deal is behind this?”

“Well, due to your…”development”, I’m having a hard time fully covering you.”

R. Ivy sighed. “Another con, I see. Is it possible to spread things around a little?” Goldia covered everything aside from her hands but left a big part of her torso visible. “A little less, please?” Goldia now removed armor from her arms & left her upper thighs exposed again. “I said less, not more!”

A minute later, they were flying right towards E. Damien, now with everything covered except her head & hands. He smirked as he noticed. “Ahh, well isn’t this a special occasion.”

“I say we kill her.” PAL replied.

E. Damien shrugged. “If we must.”

As they flew around trading blows, the force of the hits caused numerous shockwaves that destroyed tons of things within a half mile radius. Their scuffle was quickly interrupted by many of these characters parents & older siblings from both far away planets suddenly arriving to clean up this mess.

An hour later, they had pretty much rapped things up & were nearly ready to get everyone changed back to normal. A majority of all the people involved were aboard Fuka’s Flying Fortress as they were preparing a beam wide enough to resolve everything in one fell swoop.

U. Damien brought in the melted head of PAL 4000 & threw it on the floor. “Someone feel free to wrap it up.”

“You may have won right now, but I may be back again one day. I’ll carve my name into your minds. You’ll never truly-” A bunch of the others gathered around & threw all kinds of elemental attacks at him.

R. Ivy walked over to her parents as she said, “Terribly sorry to interrupt & spoil your vacation due to another part of me meddling with the universe.”

“Don’t feel too bad.” replied her dad. “At least it didn’t take all day.”

“Yeah, you guys cleaned up like crazy.” C. Poison said, walking over. “You older people sure are overpowered.”

“Ivy, who is this?” Serenity asked.

“One of Harry’s personalities.”

“Why am I a chick anyway?” She asked.

“I still don’t know the significance behind it. But still, mother, father, I formally apologise for wasting your time, I hope you can forgive me.”

“I wish you were my real daughter.” Serenity commented.

“Umm, thank you?”

And so everyone was gathered up & turned back to normal pretty shortly after. Lolita & her friends were standing together. Ricky yawned as Daniel said, “Looks like our job here is done, glad things turned out alright I suppose.”

“Sucks I didn’t get to kill anything though.” Marie replied.

“You’re still going on about that?”

Lolita was helping Damien up off the ground & shook him a few times. “Are you alright? Do you remember me?”

“Yes, I’m back to normal, no need to worry. I’m just feeling rather woozy & my eyesight is blurry but I’ll be f-”

“I’ll snap some sense into him!” Pandora exclaimed, winding up her fist as she ran over, then started punching him repeatedly. As he suggested she stop, she punched him a few more times.

Goldia was with her other three brothers & Dawn. “It was great being with you guys again.”

“Yeah,” Bronze began. “No idea what was going on, but catching up was good.”

“Can’t even remember what I was doing before this shit started.” Dawn muttered.

“Going back to the circus, Bronze?” Silver asked.

“I don’t even work there anymore! Shut up!”

“You certainly know some odd people.” Platinum said.

“That’s an understatement.” Goldia replied. “But I’ve gotten used to their antics and actually like being around them.”

“I’m relieved to hear that. Well, I suppose this is farewell for now.”

“Perhaps we can arrange something again sometime soon.”

“I’d like that.”

As they waved goodbye to Goldia, Dawn remarked, “Are none of you going to acknowledge your master?” They reluctantly did so. “Geez, kids these days…”

As Gary & Ruby returned to normal, Ruby rubbed her forehead as she said, “What the funk happened?”

“I see you’re back to normal.” Gary replied, helping her up.

“So what really happened to you guys?” Crystal asked, walking over. “May said something about there being clones?”

“It’s a really long story.” They said in unison.

“Thank god you guys are back to normal!” May chipped in. “Just listening felt so weird, just watching was even worse. Though your other clones got on a lot easier, I’m not too sure but I think one of them was even dating.”

“I can’t see that happening.” Gary replied.

“Agreed.” Ruby added.

“They’ve known each other a pretty long time, May.” Crystal said. “They’re basically childhood friends.”

“Friends is pushing it.” Gary replied. “Nuisance would fit better.”

“You’re one to talk.” Ruby remarked.

“Oh! I also remember Ruby saying something about everyone being weak & controlled by fear.” May said.

“W-what?! I never said that!”

“Well it sounded like your voice…”

“I had no idea you felt that way, Ruby…” Crystal shook her head in disgust.

“What a horrible person…” Gary added.

“N-no! I really don’t think like that!” Ruby protested. 

Damien walked over to Fuka who was sitting on a chair in the corner, still confused about everything that went on.

“Hey, just wanted to say I’m sorry you got involved in all this.” Damien said.

“An apology? That’s weird. Then again, guess I was right when I figured something felt odd.”

“I’m still not interested in world domination.”

“I wasn’t gonna ask.” Fuka replied before getting up & leaving.

Pandora suddenly floated over out of nowhere. “Hey, you don’t remember anything that happened, do you?”

“Not if you don’t want me to.”

“I’d appreciate that. Would asking for a piggyback ride feel inappropriate?”

“I suppose not.”

As she hopped on his back, she pointed & exclaimed, “Let’s go, dad!”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Alright, granddad.”

“I won’t hesitate to hit you.”

Ivy was stretching then yawned before hugging herself. “I’m finally back! I missed this body so much!”

“That’s not what the responsible one said.” Goldia replied, floating over.

“Good to see you too.”

“So what did you do this time that got so far out of control?” Poison asked.

“I was making your Christmas present, which was then sabotaged by some guy & so on.”

“I believe that person was the PAL 4000.” Goldia responded.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Ivy shrugged.

“So that duplication thing you made is my present?” Poison asked. “Sounds like something you’d make for yourself.”

“Well if you don’t want it-”

“I never said I wasn’t interested. I appreciate it, though I don’t have a present for you right now. Didn’t know you considered this thing a big occasion.”

“I know a few ways you can make it up to me…”

“That’s never reassuring.”

“Though why wouldn’t I be interested in this? You get presents! Everyone loves presents, right?”

“Christmas isn’t just about presents, y’know.” Ruby responded as she & Gary walked over. “It’s about being with the people you love, the time you get to spend with members of your family you don’t normally see, it’s about-”

“Presents.” Ivy interrupted.

“There are other things besides the presents, like the Christmas songs, and the snow, and-”

Ivy smugly shrugged. “Whatevs! Bring on the presents!”

“You’re unbelievable!”

“Never change, my lady.” Goldia remarked.

“I don’t mean to seem like a jerk,” Gary began, while Ruby muttered something under her breath in response. “Though you may have seriously affected our representation.”

“Yeah, the public might actually be afraid of us now because of your silly games.” Ruby added. “And you got a lot of people killed with all this!”

Ivy shrugged. “Shit happens, sorry.”

“That’s all you’re gonna say?!?”

“Well I didn’t deliberately do this…”

“Though it is funny you almost screwed up the earth unintentionally.” Poison commented.

“Death has agreed to resolve the issue of the many lives lost due to this incident.” Lolita said, walking over to them. “Though in exchange, he’s requested 6 months of community service from you.”

“S-six months?!?”

“Be grateful I reasoned with him.”

She sighed. “Thanks, I guess.”

“It’s probably gonna be a while to gain back my popularity again.” Ruby said.

“Were you really that popular?” Poison asked.

“Yeah, I had merchandise, did commercials, sponsored events, been on the front cover of four magazines, was a special guest at many conventions…”

“Don’t forget that school fundraiser we helped with.” Gary replied.

“Ah, right.”

“Well,” Ivy began. “Guess I’ll be goi-”

Serenity grabbed her daughter’s right ear. “Not so fast, young lady! Don’t think you’re off the hook. Your father and I have yet to decide your punishment.”

“Ehh?! B-but what about the others?!”

Her father shrugged. “Well it was your invention after all, and your use of it caused this. Not to mention we wasted half the day coming down here.”

“We’re going to have a long talk about this when we get home.” Serenity said as she began to leave.

“Ow! Ow! Don’t pull so hard!” Ivy cried as she followed.
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« Reply #445 on: 19 June, 2014, 12:22:39 pm »

Now it’s time for: Reipa Girl, tell ‘em!

From the top left of the screen, a shorter Lolita wearing a black dress & mini top hat on the side of her hair floated down with an umbrella and sat at an extended table. “Welcome again to another Q&A, this time I’ll be joined by-” Just then, another Lolita with bright pink hair tied into pigtails & a frilly pink dress with a pink bow on her head drove an ice cream truck through a wall as she said, “You!” Another Lolita with bleached white hair who wore a white & blue patterned dress with additional stockings floated in through the wall & quietly sat at the table as she said, “Me.” Another Lolita with unkempt red hair with it covering one eye while the other was bloodshot & had tears of blood dripping down. She wore a blood strained wedding dress & had cuts all over her visible skin, she crawled over to the table as she eerily cried, “Yoooooou…” Another Lolita with purple highlights in her hair, wearing a black & white shirt with a skull on it & a black & red patterned skirt flipped several times into the room & landed in a chair. “Me.”

The white haired Lolita then said, “Now that we’re all together, let us begin. First caller, you’re on the air.”

“Well I had some questions but I’m kinda dumbfounded. Did you get affected by that machine too?”

“You silly weirdo! We deliberately did this because the opportunity was worth considering.” The pink haired one said.

“We may as well introduce ourselves.” The white haired one spoke. “The one on the far corner is Gothic, the one sitting to my right is Sweet, I shall be known as Shiro, the depressing girl to my left is Guro, and the one at the far end is Punk.”

“Ahh, I see, well that’s cool. Oh, right, the last one seemed a little rushed, not that I didn’t enjoy it, of course.”

“Sadly a lot of it had to be cut or trimmed down.” Gothic replied. “As you could easily guess at numerous points.”

“There was sadly never a point where 5 personalities of one person were all together.”

“So what do you call this?”

“I don’t mean something like this. I just-”

“Yes, yes, let’s move on.” Gothic cut him off. “Next caller, please.”

“This is a surprise, so what are your interests?”

“Reading.” Gothic said as she drank tea.

“Eating.” Sweet said with a smile.

“Poetry.” Shiro replied.

“I have no interests…” Guro muttered.

“****ing.” Punk casually said.

“Now, now, no swearing.” Shiro responded.

“Whatever, who’s next?”

“Hey there, so did you guys come up with the personalities yourself, or did you figure it out from the basic traits.”

“What you’re saying sounds like you’re labelling us.” Gothic said, while Punk sighed as she knew what was coming. “You can’t simply assign single tags to people & call it a day like they’ll never be anything more, expecting them to always be pigeonholed into one role for eternity. That requires no thought, and that is simply terrible. People are different in one way or another, people are complex, you can’t just stereotype groups of people and apply it to others. There are a variety of emotions within people, you may not see them very often, maybe rarely, maybe only tiny glimpses of a particular personality, but it’s still there.”

“Was that the point behind this whole thing?” Punk asked.

“Goth-tan is right!” Sweet exclaimed. “Not all suicidal girls are drowsy like Guro, after all!”

“Wha?” Guro replied, raising her head slightly.

“Don’t call me that.” Gothic said, turning to Sweet. “Now, do you understand how demeaning you can be when you use those words?”

“I…barely said much. I’m just gonna go now…”

“Thanks for calling. Take care.” Shiro waved.

“Yo, just called in to ask how many more of these things are left.”

“I believe there’s two more?” Shiro asked.

“That would be correct.” Gothic replied.

“Two more?!? But I don’t wanna be separated from you guys so soon!” She placed her hands on her cheeks & shaked her head.

“I’d rather be a mile away from you.”

Punk raised her hand. “I’d like two miles.”

“Uguu~, Goth-tan & Punk-san are picking on me, but I know that’s just how you show your love!”

“Stop calling me that!” Gothic yelled.

Punk shrugged. “She’s a dumb bitch, but at least I got -san.”

“Die in a fire.”

“Um, what do you think, Guro?” Shiro asked.

“Life is pain, man. I’ll live how I die, alone.”

Shiro clutched her chest. “Such deep words…”

“Sweet isn’t the only one with a few screws loose.” Punk remarked.

“Don’t worry, Guro-chan! I’ll die with you so you won’t be alone!” Sweet said.

“Please do.” Gothic replied. “I also believe the last caller left a while ago, so, next caller.”

“You guys have any plans or something coming out after this?”

“Well there is that game we’re doing.” Punk said. “This 4-player beam ‘em up with me & my friends as the playable characters. We have our unique fighting style & stuff, except Pandora so we just gave her that old umbrella she used to have.”

“So are we like the Leo of the game or something?” Guro asked.


“The dual swords, that’s our thing, right?”

“Yeah, I suppose.”

“There’s also the racing game, The Most Epic Kart Racing Ever 19.” Shiro said. “We now have around 40 characters & over 30 tracks.”

“What are the tracks, Shiro-senpai?” Sweet asked.

She pulled out a list. “There’s The Base of Doom, both the original & the latest update. A snowy course called Brokeback Blizzard, Omar’s Carnival of Chaos, something called Knife’s Playground, this rocky place called Intergalactic Wasteland, Noisy Hill, Holy Sanctuary which is on Ruby’s planet, Willard’s Evil Council of Doom, Poison’s Airship in that one story that never happened, Rainbow’s Ritual Cave, Rosie’s Castle, oh, and Fortune City, that one place Ivy & Ruby seem to regularly destroy. Damien’s Island, Masterman’s Nightclub, Delicious Fried Carting, The Random Zone, The Underworld Beach, Centre of the Parallel Universes, Hell High School, Lily Locket’s Woods, Dawn’s Bloody Base no. 51, Pandora’s Box of Horrors which was made up, Aterlilic Mine, Krazy Katie’s Kukupad, Demon Lord Clubhouse, The Haunted Bath House, Donut Factory, The Asylum, Valerie’s Frozen Park, Fuka’s Flying Fortress and PAL’s Space Station. There’s also some generic RPG looking track, I’m unsure what that’s about.”

“Too long, didn’t hear. Lel.” Guro remarked.

“I don’t think we’re getting enough screen time.” Sweet said.

“Most people aren’t, I believe.” Shiro replied.

“We should get our own full show! Just the five of us, we’ll be in a club & it’ll be about cute girls doing cute things. Gothic will be the new transfer student who joins our class so we have a fifth member for the club.”

Ehhhhh?!?” Guro, Shiro & Punk exclaimed in unison.

“Yeah! Just like that!”

“That’s stupid.” Gothic replied. “Yet another insulting expectation. Why must we be defined by how cute we are to the point being brain damaged can be hand waved as being cute. Why can’t we be defined as actual characters? Focus more on entertaining others & less on being meek moeblobs incapable of any intelligent thought.”

“Hmm, you have a point.” Shiro replied. “Very well, I’ll put up a poll for you viewers to vote on which of us you like the most. We’ll end it after a commercial break I suppose.” 

“What’s wrong with being cute?” Punk asked.

“Cuteness is weakness.” Gothic replied. “It should never be a defining characteristic.”

“I happen to think you’re the cutest little thing, Goth-tan.” Sweet responded.

“You’re still a complete moron.” She turned to Punk. “Besides, why would you care about cuteness?”

“I don’t give a fuck.” Punk shrugged. “Though it pisses you off & that’s good enough.”

“I agree with her, man.” Guro muttered. “I just wanna cut out those big jelly-like eyes and put them on toast. I’d probably die from the sugar, hehehehe.”

“As I was saying,” Gothic took a sip of her tea. “Just look at Ivy, she’s obnoxious, egocentric, self-centred, and rather open about her interests & desires. Generally the antithesis of such cute themes.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.” Punk replied. “What about the insecurities thing?”

“Those were ages ago, mainly as a result of how she looked, which is no longer an issue. She basically represents the seven deadly sins: Lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy & pride, and yet she’s an entertaining character because of these many traits.”

“So being an asshole makes you an entertaining character?”

“I suppose it would.”

Shiro cleared her throat. “I don’t mean to interrupt but we’re still in the middle of something. Next caller, please.”

“Uhh, hey, I think you guys should try adding some more guys soon.”

“More guys? What are you, gay?” Punk asked.

“I am, actually.”

“Oh…I’ll shut up then.”

“Do not worry, we will not be adding anymore girls.” Shiro said. “But there won’t be any guys either. Next caller, please.”

“So what panties are you guys all wearing?”

“That’s incredibly rude & perverse.” Gothic replied. “Such disgusting behaviour.”

Sweet patted her on the head. “For someone who dislikes cuteness, you sure are a cutie!”

“Touch me again & I will end you.”

“Uguu~, Gothic threatened to kill me, so scary~”

Guro chuckled. “Hehehe, that really is kinda funny.”

“What an entertaining character.” Sweet patted Gothic’s head again, who retaliated by punching her.

As Gothic beat up Sweet in the background, Punk turned to the camera & said, “Me personally, I don’t even wear panties.”

“That’s no good, Punk. You’ll risk others seeing.” Shiro replied.


“Though others seeing your underwear can also be a little embarrassing.”

“Why?” Guro lifted her head. “Underwear is a simply another form of swimsuit, man.”

“I’ve never thought about it like that.”

“Probably because that’s stupid.” Punk remarked. As she wasn’t able to ignore Gothic beating up Sweet in the background any longer, she sighed & got up. “Fuck it, I want in on this.” She ran over & clotheslined Sweet, helped her to her feet then the two hit her with an axe kick.

“Oh my!” Shiro exclaimed as she watched them power bomb Sweet. “Guro! Please do something about this madness!”

“Okay.” She slowly got up & threw herself on top of Sweet as Gothic & Punk were taking turns doing repeated elbow drops.

Shiro sighed. “Well let’s take a quick break, we’ll be right back.”


Someone was sitting in a pitch black living room when a voice spoke. “Hey you!” The figure looked around. “Do you feel lonely? Have trouble talking to others? Want someone to cuddle with?” He nodded to all three. Suddenly the lights switched on & a life size doll of Pandora was thrown on the sofa from offscreen. “Well now there’s the Hug Me Pandora! With this priceless treasure you never have to feel lonely again! You can find many ways to cuddle!”

It began showing different scenes as the voice went on. “Don’t feel as secure with that seatbeat on while driving? Hug your Pandora doll instead! Get frightened while watching a scary movie? Hug your Pandora doll, you pansy! Had a bad day at work? Don’t you worry, your Pandora doll will always be there to comfort you at any time. About to go to bed? Why not cuddle as you sleep? This & so much more can be yours with the Hug Me Pandora!”

Someone who’s face was blurred out placed the doll on top of him near his face. It started vibrating as it peed on him, then the voice spoke. “Better yet, we included a function that makes it pee when she sits on you, be a little careful when applying her to your face.”

The man turned to the camera & said, “Wow, it’s almost like real urine!”

“Uhh, yeah, sure.”

It cut back to the sofa again as the voice continued. “We’re not done yet! The doll comes with over 50 phrases that she’ll say when you hug her, just watch!”

The man hugged her, making her say, “I’m still 15 years old, no funny business.” He hugged her again, “Please let me go, I’ll kill you otherwise.” He did it again. “It’s quite sad that you’re so dependant on me.” And again. “Make yourself useful & give me a piggyback ride later.” And again. “I know I’m adorable but please have some restraint.” And once more. “You may be a complete loser, but I suppose a hug is fine.”

“Just hear what our previous customers had to say about this great product!”

On the streets, Kate with a fake moustache was being asked about the doll. “The skin & clothing feels so lifelike! I had her sit on my face & she peed up my nose, it was amazing! I was rather annoyed that she didn’t respond when I removed her clothes & underwear though. Get it together, people!”

They moved on to talk to Damien about the product. “I found it to be-” The rest of his words were blatantly dubbed over, “The best thing I’ve ever spent money on. How could you not want to cuddle with such a thing? Those body pillows are so last decade & my wife just doesn’t do it for me anymore. The Hug Me Pandora is the way of the future.”

They then moved on to talk to Ricky about it. “You made what? This is the first time I’m even hearing about this. Does Pandora even know you’re making these? She’d likely sue you guys, y’know…I’ll take two.”

The voice showed up again. “Buy it for friends! Old people you’d rather not spend time with! Your pets! That crazy cat lady down the street! And more! The Hug Me Pandora is available for the low, low price of $59.95 including shipping & handling. Order now & get the modern & bunny costumes free! The Hug Me Pandora, waiting for a hug at a store near you!”
The five Lolita’s were back at the table with Sweet having bruises in many areas. She pumped her fist & exclaimed, “I’m gonna get my Pandora right now!”

“I’d be interested in a Damien doll…” Shiro muttered.

“My point still stands.” Gothic said.

“You don’t think the doll is cute?” Punk asked.

“It’s adorable! Just like the real thing!” Sweet responded.

“It’s bad to have any direct contact with that girl..” Gothic said. “She’s like a parasite, she tries to burrow beneath your skin & suck out as much of your soul as she can. Don’t let her words fool you, she’s very manipulative of others around her that show any kind of sympathy.”

“Oh, she mad.” Guro commented.

“That girl could always be quite bothersome.” Shiro said. “Though I found it hard to stay mad at her for very long.”

“Guys, remember back when she was a total newbie?” Sweet asked. “She was so awestuck by our skills that she started imitating us for a really long time. It was so cute! I wanna take her home!”

“In a way, you could say she’s still attempting to imitate us…” Punk remarked.

“I believe we should get back to that poll, we should be rapping up shortly after all.” Shiro brought out the list. “At first is Guro, followed by Sweet, me, Punk & then Gothic.”

“How is Guro at the top?” Punk asked. “The bitch barely even talks!”

“I only say what’s needed to be said, Punk. I’m a woman of little words.” She waved at the camera. “Thanks for the support, I guess. Maybe it’s not so bad.”

“Thank you to all those who voted for me!” Sweet exclaimed. “I may not have won but I’ll keep trying my best!”

“Gothic was pretty low on that list.” Punk said, looking at it. “By like a mile. She’s probably pretty mad, considering she’s not saying much.”

“I’m not mad! If I said something you’d all assume I was mad so I figured I’d say nothing.”

“You still seem mad.” Guro replied.

“How can people even like you?”

Shiro chuckled. “That comment is rather ironic, Gothic.”

“It’s probably woobie moe.” Punk said.

“Didn’t know people liked zombies that much.” Gothic replied.

“We should at least get one more question while we can.” Shiro said. “Next caller, you’re on the air.”

“Um, hey, my cousin has a daughter & her birthday is coming up soon but I‘m not too sure what to get her, what do you suggest?”

“Get her a stuffed animal.” Punk replied. “Bitches love stuffed animals.”

“Alright, thanks.”

“Next caller.”

“Hi! Sandra here, again! How come nobody told me about the whole cloning thing with the personalities and all? I missed the chance to meet the Damien that I fell in love with because I was on vacation!”

“Life sucks, deal with it.” Guro replied. “Many others get dealt with worse cards, you play them or fold.”

Shiro clutched her chest. “So deep…”

Punk imitated her as she said, “So stupid…”

“If you were there that day I’d have probably killed you.” Gothic said.

“But she sounds cute!” Sweet said. “How could you!”

“More incentive to do so.”

Sandra coughed. “Uhh, I’m gonna hang up now, you guys are plain weird.”

Shiro cleared her throat. “Let’s wrap this up now. That’s all we have time for, thanks for tuning in.”

“Bye-bye!” Sweet exclaimed as the five of them waved. Guro’s head suddenly fell off & a geyser of blood sprayed out from her neck as Shiro & Punk left while Gothic protected herself with her umbrella.
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« Reply #446 on: 25 July, 2014, 09:29:59 am »

It's referencing many different things, not just the most obvious.

TMEDCE: Oh, Very Astounding

It was a normal day on blah blah blah. At the Demon Lord clubhouse, Brian who wore a squirrel suit & Tyson were at a table talking about things, Richard was busy writing something out, and Toby & Amber were playing blackjack. Sakura walked in with a bunch of VR headsets that she placed on the table & began to plug them in as Blake & Alice entered the room.

Blake switched off the lights except for one right over him & said, “It’s time to play the game.” They looked over at him, fully aware of what he meant. Two lights by a desk turned on as Alice stood with her back turned & raised her arms as she said, “Time to play the gaaaaaame!” She smirked before going, “Guguguhehehe!” Richard threw his notes to the side, Tyson & Brian moved their chairs to face the table, Amber shuffled away the cards as she laughed, then Blake sat down with the others.

He looked around as he said, “It’s all about the game.”, with Amber adding, “And how you play it.”

Brian then said, “It’s all about control-” while reaching for a headset, which Sakura quickly grabbed as she replied, “And if you can take it!”

“It’s all about your debts.” Toby said, putting on a headset. “And if you can pay it.” Tyson said, looking at Brian as he grabbed a headset.

“It’s all about pain.” Richard said, looking to the empty seat beside him, which was then filled by Alice as she responded, “And who’s gonna make it.”

Sakura turned off the stereo behind them. “So are we all ready?”

“I’ve been awaiting the time to finally play this for weeks.” Richard said.

“This is gonna be so awesome!” Toby exclaimed.

“Don’t blow a blood vessel, Toby.” Brian replied.

“We’re playing as a group, right?” Tyson asked.

“That was the idea if I recall our last discussion on it.” Blake said. “Let’s at least stick together & find out how things work first.”

They all jacked in & were taken to a character customization screen, with them taking the time to pick classes & outfits to start off with.

“So what’s everyone going with here?” Amber asked.

“Swordsman.” Blake replied.

“That’s so bland.” Sakura said.

“Your choice?”

“White mage…I mean, I figure you guys would ignore trying to keep us alive & all.”

“Hmm, I fancy myself as a sorcerer.” Richard said.

Alice sighed. “I still haven’t decided yet.”

“Perhaps you might like the Black Mage, it would certainly suit you.”

“Hmm…oh! Yeah, I could have some fun with this! Thanks, Richard.”

“Can’t decide.” Amber said. “I’m gonna go with a typical physical style build, maybe change it up later.”

“I’m gonna dual wield.” Toby said.

“Going Berserker.” Tyson said. “Dual wielding requires a lot of investment, btw, Toby.”

“I know.”

“Hold on, changing!” Amber exclaimed.

“I’m gonna be the little girl.” Brian said, which caused the others to stare at him. “Wouldn’t a Berserker class be hilarious with that model? Say, wielding a massive hammer while looking like that?”

Blake shrugged. “Whatever, man.”

“Whatever floats your boat.” Tyson said.

“You guys just don’t get it.” Brian replied.

And so, they arrived in the generic MMORPG fantasy land of Amudorfoker in the middle of a bright & busy city. There was an old man nearby wearing all purple with a book icon on his head, so Blake spoke to him. “Excuse me, is this Amudorfoker?”

“Why yes it is. Welcome, new adventurers, to our lovely town. This city is just one of the many safe havens in this world.” Blake skipped through most of the other dialogue. “To challenge the Tyrant Overlord in the Darkest Skies, you must defeat the six guardians, or were there eight? I think there were eight but two died of old age and we haven’t found the time to replace them.  Your map will tell you where you can find them.”

The others were all off doing such things as looking at store inventory lists, completing the tutorials & doing side quests that didn’t require them to venture too far from the city. They all levelled up anywhere between 3-6 levels from this. Sakura & Alice were simply wearing opposite colored robes from each other, while Richard wore a purple robe & carried a red book instead of a staff. Tyson wielded a large battleaxe & merely a loincloth. Brian, deciding to play as a young girl with fox ears & tail wielding a dagger, wore red shorts, go-go boots & a unbuttoned white shirt. Amber wore a metal bikini & spiked gauntlets, along with shoulder pads & kneecaps. Blake wore a full suit of steel armor with his sword & shield, barring the helmet, while Toby wore an all black assemble & jacket. They all agreed to then meet in the middle of town & form a party to go fight the first guardian, Rockzide, in The Mines. They killed more monsters as they travelled across a few fields and approached the path which led underground to the dungeon.

They proceeded at a casual pace, using their standard attacks on the bats that attacked & normally doing their best to destroy rock statues that attempted to form & fight them. Sakura took the time to heal anyone who was hurt outside of the fights. They went below to another floor where there were dozens of large rocks covered in rare jewels all over the place, which they could collect so they did so. Crystal golems began to emerge as they progressed through the area, who couldn’t be easily stunned so they played defensively & attacked from behind when the golems weren’t focusing on them. They soon arrived at the area where the boss was said to be.

“Hope you guys are ready.” Blake said. “Apparently if you die you don’t get the experience.”

“You can just revive us if we die, right?” Amber asked, turning to Sakura.

“Actually, I won’t have enough skill points for revive until level 15.”

“I won’t be able to dual wield longswords until level 28.” Toby sighed.

“Daggers are available at level 21 if you want.” Brian replied.

“I’ll consider it.”

They entered the arena & a large round golem formed almost immediately & charged at them, flailing it’s fists about & hitting Amber while Blake & Tyson blocked. They began attacking with Brian & Toby running in from behind the golem while Richard & Alice spammed spells. Rockzide did a 360 spinning attack that knocked back Tyson & Toby, Brian backflipped away while Blake blocked again but his guard was broken from the move. Rockzide then pounded him into the ground during this period. Sakura was busy running around healing everyone when the monster targeted her. Amber quickly rushed in & stunned it briefly with a charged punch & repeated a 3-hit combo several times then dodged a ground stomp while Brian kept stabbing it in the back, Richard threw water spells at it & Alice was rapid firing dark orbs. As it stomped again, numerous rocks fell from the ceiling. As Brian dodged, Rockzide spun round & punted him across the room then fell backwards & flattened Amber.

As it got up, it grew 4 four arms & charged at Richard & Alice. Rockzide blocked the rapid attacks & shoulder tackled Richard, then hit Alice with a stomp shockwave. Toby leapt at the beast and stabbed it repeatedly in the head. Rockzide swatted him away while Blake & Tyson manoeuvred round him & attacked sparingly to buy the others time. While Rockzide focused on Blake, Tyson heavily stunned him with a charged downward smash. Just then, Richard summoned a tornado that increased the stun period while Amber, Toby & Brian rushed in & they all started attacking, managing to kill the boss just shortly after the stun period ended.

They proceeded back to town, healed up, applied skill points, and attempted to turn in a quest that had been completed at the previous dungeon but there was a 20 player line at where the quest was given to hand it in, so they decided to come back later. They separated for a while to do their own things & met back up an hour later, ready for the next area. The next location was the Gracious Garden, home to the menacing Vileflume. Entering the bright & sunny garden, they noticed cotton flowing through the air which poisoned them as it touched them.

“Oh crap! Poison!” Toby exclaimed. “What do we do?!?”

“Try relaxing.” Sakura said before removing the effect from the party.

“It would naturally wear off in like 30 seconds anyway.” Tyson commented.

“Not to mention you can negate it with a regenerating potion too.” Blake added.

The garden was filled with praying mantis’ & humanoid ladybugs that looked like women cosplayers, both of which they either overpowered or used team attacks on by deflecting their blows before striking them. Vileflume turned out to be a large piranha plant that launched several spiky vines at Sakura immediately. Blake ran up & held up his shield while some of the others ran up to the plant. As they began hacking away at the plant, it threw its head back & then spewed toxic gas that drained health faster. Tyson hit the plant with a rising strike from behind, and it retaliated by spinning round & backhanding him across the arena then began spinning its head in circles to hit Toby, Amber & Brian as they kept rolling but knocked them out the way as Vileplume charged at Blake. As Blake swung, the plant dove underground, right past him & came up beside Sakura to bite her which instantly killed her.

It then began targeting Richard as he kept backstepping while Tyson kept swinging at it.

“Guys! I’m down!” Sakura exclaimed. “Someone revive me!”

“Anyone got a revive potion?” Blake asked.

“Brian has one! Brian, hurry and revive me!”

“We’re doing fine.” Brian said as he front flipped over a swing. “We can revive you when we get back to town.”

“I know you have a potion, Brian.”

Toby got bitten & killed while Alice summoned skeletons to attack the plant as Brian talked. “They aren’t the cheap kind, they’re full heals. We shouldn’t waste them, there might be a time when we’ll need them.”

“You’ve got 11 of the damn things!”

“And we might need them all against hard bosses.”

“Dude, just revive her so she can heal us.” Tyson said while landing several more hits.

“Yeah, I know we’re demons & all but don’t be a dick.” Amber added, while doing uppercuts & downward kicks.

“Fine.” Brian sighed & threw the potion on her. Then used another on Toby before running back to back up the others. The boss was killed rather quickly afterwards with everyone still up. They retreated back to town & did all sorts of basic stuff before deciding to continue another day.

The very next day, they were arriving at the Demon Lord clubhouse & taking their seats while Amber was busy staring outside the window.

“You alright?” Brian asked.

“Uhh, yeah, but there’s someone wandering around dressed like Ivy.”

“Dressed like her or is her?”

“My eyes work fine, whatever, let’s start.”

As they got back into the game most of them were wearing different armor. Blake had discarded the heavy armor & had more lean material along with a large broadsword. Tyson wore bulky stone armor & a battleaxe that resonated with dark blue energy. Brian had simply changed his weapon & was carrying a black Bo staff with gold tips. Sakura now wore a red scarf, gloves & trainers over an all black assemble along with a black cloak. Amber wore full body armor shaped like a charred skeleton with Cerberus shaped gauntlets. Richard had a red cape with a long sleeved white shirt & black pants, though Toby & Alice remained the same aside from getting better weapons.

“Seems we’ve all been a little busy.” Richard said, looking around.

“I did a lot of grinding last night so I can finally dual wield now.” Toby replied.

“Did healing get too boring?” Alice asked, turning to Sakura.

“No, I still heal. It’s just I can actually inflict good damage now.” she responded. “Before I had a hard time going beyond single digits.”

“You’re using the daggers, right? Those are good for criticals.” Brian commented.

“Then why did you change?”

“Well this one monster dropped this staff, which got a 25% chance to stun enemies when I upgraded it a few levels. It’s surprisingly good.”

“Nice looking armor.” Tyson commented as he turned to Amber.

“Thanks, eventually got the whole set from killing these rare black skeleton spawns near this graveyard place.”

They moved on, ignoring a guild that were picking on some players down an alley, and also outright ignoring a few players that challenged them outside the town as they went to the Tropical Islands to face the Swim Bros.

There were numerous small islands that they ran through, beating up monkeys in the trees, even going as far as to knock them down, shooting down packs of seagulls, occasionally encountering giant crabs that had weak points on their lower back which they regularly targeted for massive damage. They also had to jump in a boat numerous times to take them from one island to the next, and during this point they were regularly attacked by lobsters, whales & piranha, with a rare dolphin spawn popping up twice. On one of the last islands, two strange animals that looked like a red colored cross between a Peacock & Dodo bird attacked the group. As they defeated the birds, Sakura chose to ride one while Alice took the other.

After a short while of running through more monsters easily, Sakura pet the bird. “I think I might keep this.”

“Isn’t it a stage only creature?” Alice asked.

“I hope not.” Brian said. “I like how it talks.” 

“Shet!” The bird exclaimed.

“I can see why you would.” Sakura replied. “I’m gonna call him Cheep-Cheep, or Che for short.”


“He doesn’t seem fond of the name.” Richard commented.

“Yeah, yeah, very funny.” 

They finally made it to the boss & brought the birds along. It was a circular surface that they were required to fight with small stone pillars around the area & nothing but water outside of that. Two sharks, being black & blue with boxing gloves & spiked boots, arose from the ocean & landed on two pillars. They hopped around while the group also did so, destroying some of the pillars as they missed many of their attacks. One shark hit Tyson with a typhoon punch, knocking off nearly half his life with a single blow. Alice hopped about on her bird firing dark magic but was knocked back onto the center platform as the shark headbutt the bird.

“Shet!” The bird exclaimed.

“You said it.” Tyson replied.

Alice got off the bird & was busy attempting to do something before she let it go. Sakura took a few moments to place the bird back on the boat before running back to start healing. Richard was able to easily target the sharks while they were busy evading & attacking the rest of the group. Blake leapt at the blue shark & blocked a heavy blow with his sword. During the recovery animation, he swung twice, staggering the shark with the second hit. He whistled to the others as he got two more hits in, with Brian & Sakura quickly jumping over to repeating stun & land criticals on the shark, but it soon broke free as it bit through the three of them, nearly killing them. Tyson jumped & spun like a ball as he attacked with his axe, making use of invincibility frames with rapid attacks.

Amber was busy cancelling out & rivalling the sharks punches with her own after drinking a strength potion, while Toby attacked with his dual blades as it was focused on Amber, occasionally stunning it. The sharks summoned mooks to aid them as they sped up & began to get the drop on them with swift strikes. As the black shark sent Blake flying with an uppercut, he recovered & landed beside Alice. “Seems we came here a little too early. We might not be ready for them.”

Alice sighed. “I wanted to save this for another time but I guess I’ll have to do my share of the work.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The reason I chose this class. Time to test it out.” Alice charged up & caused the ground to shake somewhat as she began to slowly grow taller & far bulkier as well as her tail while she unequipped her current costume & quick selected other parts while forming a dark purple aura & lost her pupils. She had on a spiked black choker, as well as the same pattern around her arms & knees, she wore a spiked black thong & light black armor that covered her top half torso. She took a deep breath as chuckled, her voice was also far deeper. “That’s better. Sit tight, he’s mine!” She leapt at the shark Amber & Toby were targeting. As it was about to punch them, she grabbed it by the face as she flew past, ramming it into a mountain wall & wailing on it before hammering it into the sea & jumping off the wall to get back to the platform. Richard added a lightning enchantment to her attacks as she returned.

Tyson, who was busy fighting the other shark, backed up right before Alice hit the shark with a downward punch. Brian ground-bounced the shark & the other two wailed on it while Sakura stabbed it repeatedly in its head. Tyson got the last hit by cutting its head off at some point during the long combo. Just then the previous shark came back & did a charged bite attack that Alice tanked then shoved her palm through its chest & fired a beam through the shark.

As they proceeded to the next one, Richard said, “I see you noticed that skill, I figured you would. It suits your style just fine, doesn’t it?”

“Indeed. Once again I must thank you.” Alice looked at Toby who seemed nervous. “Hmm? You’re not scared of me, are you, Toby?”

“No, just, uhh, surprised. Are you going to stay like that?”

“It can only last a few minutes at a time right now, so it’ll wear off shortly.”

“So there’s a skill that makes you 7 feet tall & a dedicated bodybuilder?” Amber asked.

“It’s a transformation skill. It increases all stats by 40% for 3 minutes, then lowers them by that much for 5 minutes.”

“So it’s mainly for boss fights, gotcha.”

“Now that we’re all informed, let’s move on to the next one.” Brake said.

Sakura whistled for Cheep-Cheep & hopped on its back, preferring to ride the bird to the next area.

“You still have that thing?” Tyson asked.

“Of course! I couldn’t leave him, plus he moves pretty fast.” Sakura fed the bird something. “Gas him up with the greens & watch him go.” She said as they took off. “Stand back, stand clear as he puts on a show.”

“So cute yet fierce, is it from hell?” Amber asked.

“I cannot tell yet I don’t even want to know.” Blake replied.

They arrived shortly at the Ogre Village & saw some people being carried out on stretchers as they went in. As said previously, they mainly ran across fields & through crowded villages of average sized orcs wearing armor as they carried, bombs, spears, clubs & swords, while occasionally encountering 20 foot orcs that simply used their fists. After a while of fighting through several orcs villages & then dealing with orcs riding horses out in a field, they made it to a massive coliseum that happened to be there. As they entered, the gates shut & soon enough orcs of all kinds began to charge in from every direction.

Blake charged his sword & with a swing launched a transparent wave of energy that hit a group & sent them flying. Richard called forth a lightning storm to fry the couple Blake had just hit. Tyson was currently beating up the larger orcs & did several 360 spins as he went through the crowds, while Brian stunned ones which weren’t focusing on him & used multi-hit moves with his staff to take them out quick. Toby & Sakura leaped across the field continuously, stopping to land a few attacks before moving on to another enemy. Amber was knocking out any nearby with 3 punch combos then pounding the ground when surrounded to hurt them. Alice had already activated her transformation, where upon she was knocking any orcs in her sight into the walls of the coliseum. After a while of this, a 50 foot titan orc, wielding a metal spiked club climbed over the wall & entered the arena. Brian continued inflicting multi-hits while repeatedly stunning when the Titan Orc ran at him & swung. Brian quickly moved behind the enemy & finished it off quickly then backed off as more mooks assisted the boss. Richard dropped a bunch of fireballs on the group, then blocked a sword swing from behind him, covered his hand in blue energy & stabbed the orc.

Tyson threw his battleaxe across the arena at the Titan Orc, then ran up & punched him, taking back his weapon while doing so. While the two duked it out, Amber & Alice kept killing mooks that tried to intervene & Sakura threw a bomb of her own at a group of orcs that had shown up with their own, blowing them all up. Blake knocked another group of mooks into the sky again, just as Toby was passing by as he ran along the top of the coliseum, chopping limbs off orcs that tried to climb into the arena as he ran around. He leapt across the flying bodies before diving towards the Titan Orc & slashing it at the back of its neck, with so much force he bounced off from the impact. Tyson landed several more hits before being knocked aside. Toby & Sakura met up & nodded as they made a mad dash towards the boss, cutting down any mobs that got in their way while they threw strength, defense, speed & regeneration potions at each other. They both ran up a different leg, repeatedly slashing at the beast while doing so. They dodged as it attempted to swat them. Toby attacked its back then jumped away as it reached around to grab him. Sakura repeatedly stabbed his front, then pulled out a bow as the other hand tried to grab her, pierced its hand with an arrow & swung under it before throwing a bomb at its head. While it was somewhat staggered Toby attacked its neck again & Sakura stabbed it in the head. They jumped off as it fell down & ran as it quickly got up to try & squash them.

They ran back up its body & did the same, occasionally taking hits but throwing potions at each other to keep going. The Orc soon punched Sakura into the coliseum stands but she dodged a second punch that came afterwards. The Orc spun round to see Toby leaping towards him & simply ate him. Though moments later the Orc felt terrible pain & shortly after Toby cut through its stomach open & jumped out, covered in blood. As the boss died, all the mooks began to leave.

“That was awesome!” Toby raised his hand towards Sakura, waiting for a high-five, which she reluctantly gave him. “We were totally in sync there!”

“It’s as if she made her current build to specifically work well with yours.” Richard commented.

“I just liked this kind of class, okay?” Sakura replied.

And so they moved on to Dere Farm, which was a castle so it should have really been called the Tower of Dere. They ran through the dingy floors, massacring midget manikins dressed in white sailor fukus with only different hairstyles to tell them apart. They eventually got lost in the maze-like area as many of the locations looked the same, and they eventually started running from the manikins as they grew in number. As they made it to an outside balcony in-between two of the towers, they opened the door to the second tower & dozens of manikins came charging at them from several directions so they spun round and ran as Toby yelled, “Watch out! Recolors!”

“Hey, Tyson.” Brian began.

“What’s up, man?”

“I was just thinking, say some chick was in a intimate relationship for some time with  another dude, and she sucked his dick & all. If you hook up with this chick & kiss her, technically your lips have touched some other dude’s dick, right?”

“Oh shit, man. I never thought about it like that.”

“I know, it amazed me too.”

“You guys talk about the weirdest shit.” Blake commented.

After a few more minutes of running around, finding an alternate way into the second tower & killing some more manikins down some hallways, they reached the boss area. As they dropped into the area, an 8 foot manikin with a black sailor fuku, short black hair & glasses, emerged from ahead. She was carrying a staff and her attacks mainly consisted of throwing AoE spells & rapid fire magic bullets. The eight of them didn’t have much trouble blocking or dodging her attacks as they chased her while she kept backing away. After getting backed into a corner & beaten down quickly, three other tall manikins entered the room. The first had red hair tied into pigtails and wielded a large hammer, the second had long pink hair with ribbons on the side & wielded a large butcher knife, and the third had long silver hair & wielded a spear.

Red ran forward & swung her hammer, others rolled while Brian & Blake backed up then went in to attack. Red did a second swing a moment later, knocking them both down. Amber was busy punching Pink, rolled through a forward thrust & hit her with a grand upper. Sakura was firing arrows from afar, then repeatedly backflipped as Silver kept trying to stab her with her spear, who then did a 360 spin to knock back Toby, who jumped above it & slashed her head several times. Alice charged in & grounded her with a punch, followed by a knee to the gut while Richard fired lightning bolts. The three manikins soon joined hands & spun 360 degrees numerous times as they moved towards them, knocking several of them down. Silver eventually died to Brian’s multi-hit strings while flash stepping between her strikes & continuing his combo. Red & Pink swung their weapons together at Blake, who flipped sideways in-between the two & unleashed a charged strike while Tyson & Toby rushed in to kill Pink within moments, then they all ganged up on Red.

They called it a rest for the day & all logged out shortly after. The next morning, they all rushed into their clubhouse again while Amber was staring out the window. “Now there’s some chick dressed like Poison, not sure what the hell’s going on out there…”

She quickly sat down with the others & they logged in. After arriving in the game, they had received a letter telling them the whereabouts of the final boss.

“So what about the other bosses?” Toby asked.

“I say we go fight this guy.” Tyson replied. “They wouldn’t let us know where he is if we weren’t strong enough to beat him.”

“I too am eager to visit this tyrant.” Richard said.

The rest eventually came around to the idea & so they travelled to go fight the boss, who resided at a church. They oddly didn’t have to fight through hordes of mooks to walk in. At the end of the church by the alter was the old man wearing all purple who turned around & announced he was the final boss, which made them gasp.

“Wait, who are you again?” Alice asked.

“I’m the tutorial guy.”

“Ahh, now it makes total sense.” Richard nodded.

“You’ve all done well to make it this far.” The church started rising into the sky. “Now, prepare yourselves!” His five health bars began to fill quickly. They charged at him, firing all kinds of projectiles while he fired them back as he effortlessly avoided them. After Tyson & Alice got through the barrage & hit him a few times, he began to leave afterimages as he flew around the arena, with the eight of them trying to land hits while remaining evasive & dodging the laser beams & projectiles he fired. After a bit, he came rushing towards the ground & with a wave of his hand launched 5 large fireballs that exploded as they hit the ground, killing Amber & Tyson, then moved away. Sakura ran up to revive them, but as the man threw more fireballs she was killed as well. The man zigzagged around while Blake, Alice, Richard, Brian & Toby occasionally landed hits when he wasn’t incorporeal. Shortly after the others were revived, Alice managed to somehow grab him & hit him with a german suplex, forcing him into his second phase.

The man split into eight copies, with them all wielding a replica of one of the eight. Blake & his counterpart both fired a charged wave from their swords before clashing, while Tyson hit his with a mid-air spinning ground pound, then knocked him into a wall with a swing. Alice & her counterpart traded blows, not bothering to block or dodge, then after kneeing him the stomach, picked him up & slammed him through the floor. Sakura & her counterpart ran around the lower area, firing arrows at each other as they passed by pillars, then hopped off them & fought with daggers in mid-air as they passed by each other. Sakura threw several bombs & tried to strike while he couldn’t see her but he ducked & swung at her, an attack that she blocked before cutting his throat. Brian and his counterpart were spinning their staffs & blocking each others moves while repeatedly flash stepping around each other before Brian eventually managed to shove his staff up his ass. Toby & his counterpart were flying all over the room, slashing at each other & defying gravity, as well as doing so while running along walls. Richard formed a shield around him as he & his counterpart spammed projectiles. Amber & her counterpart were also trading punches & firing projectiles from their weapons to catch each other off guard. They soon defeated the eight and thought it was over but the old man scoffed at them.

“This is far from over, you truly think you’ve beaten me? This isn’t even my final form.” And so the man ripped out of his clothes & became a sky blue dragon. As they attempted to hack away at the beast, it tried to stomp & bite them while remaining unflinchable from their attacks. Most of its attacks outright killed whoever it hit, and usually at least two people were hit whenever it began firing large AoE fireballs & breathing fire. Richard, noticing certain spots that the fire couldn’t reach, stood there while chucking lightning bolts. Though they kept trying to revive each other, they were dropping almost as fast & eventually died due to not inflicting enough damage.

And so they stopped for the moment, and spent the night grinding another 10+ levels and respec’d to become wizards like Richard. Amber was watching the two dressed like Ivy & Poison argue outside their window, but ignored it & sat down with the other demons. The first phase went by almost as fast, then they mainly copied Richard during the second phase. Once the old man became a dragon, they all stood in different corners of the building where the flame couldn’t hit them & chucked lightning spears all day, which was super effective. Even when someone died they were quickly revived before the dragon could run through the rest of them. After a while, they eventually managed to kill the dragon, which exploded as it died.

“Why did it explode?” Toby asked, which was then ignored.

“We did it!” Sakura pumped her fist.

“Nice work, everyone.” Blake said.

“What we did was a little cheesy though.” Amber commented.

“Who cares if it was cheap, a win is a win.” Tyson replied.

“Yep, shouldn’t be in the game if they didn’t want you to use it.” Brian added.

“A shame I had to discard my wonderful image to focus on magic.” Alice sighed.

“Oh, Toby, would you mind remembering to remind me of something later?” Richard asked.

“I don’t know, I have a hard time remembering more than multiple things at once.”

“Like a Pokemon.” Amber replied.

“No, memorizing more than like 5 things just becomes hard after a while.”

“Like a Pokemon.”

“I’m not a-” Alice threw a metal ball at his head. “Oww! That’s not funny!”

“I thought if the rumor was true that I could catch a Toby. How depressing…” Alice sighed.

“You’re doing it wrong, Alice.” Amber began. “You gotta weaken the Pokemon first, remember?”

“Ahh, of course, how silly of me.”

“Let me help you with this.”

Toby ran as the two chased him, Sakura followed as she yelled, “H-hey! Toby is my Pokemon!”

“I’m not a Pokemon!” He exclaimed.

“So I believe we’re done here.” Blake said.

“What about those other bosses?” Brian asked.

“Maybe in the future.”

As they soon exited the game world, Amber looked outside to see the two dressed as Ivy & Poison now making out. “This is still confusing.”

“So does anyone wanna play Monopoly?” Alice asked.

“Not if you still value your friendships.” Richard replied.

“I’m up for Mawio Kart.” Tyson said, the others were fine with this.

“Make sure to steer clear of Alice, guys. She gets awfully cranky about this.” Blake said.

“That was a long time ago.”

“It was last month.”

“I’m a sensible person now, I don’t take the game so seriously.”

In less than half an hour, Alice was attempting to stab Toby for hitting her in mid-air with a red shell. Some things never change.
« Last Edit: 25 July, 2014, 09:35:47 am by Satsuki Kiryuin » Report Spam   Logged

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« Reply #447 on: 08 August, 2014, 09:18:25 am »

Now it’s time for: Reipa Girl, tell ‘em!

Lolita leapt into the frame & flipped before landing in her chair. “Hello again, everyone, and joining me today is, you.” Cheep-Cheep strolled into the frame & stood beside her. “Now, let us begin. First caller, you’re on the air.”

“Hey, Lolita, that last one really rusted my jimmies. First of all that felt more like an action RPG than an MMO, it moved at a ridiculously fast pace, and no MMO should just let you change classes on the fly.”

“If it was virtual reality then it’s not surprisingly it would feel like an action RPG. The fast pace was due to limited time & budget costs. Anyway, what do you think, Che?”

“Shet!” The bird exclaimed.

“That seems a little harsh but fair enough, next caller.”

“How many more of these left?”

“This is the last one, stop asking. At least I think it’s the last one, don’t quote me on that. Anyway, moving on…”

“Uhh, yeah, I don’t think MMORPG’s allow you to just skip straight to the last boss. Hell, I don’t think MMOs have final bosses, you can’t truly finish an MMO, can you? It doesn’t make much sense.”

“After some of the stuff that’s happened in the past, you really wanna talk about making sense?”

“I’m just talking about purely in that particular narrative.”

“My point still stands, leave your brain at the door, sir.”

“I feel I shouldn’t have to ignore plot holes.”

“Hmm, what do you think, Che?”

“Shet!” The bird exclamed.

“I’m glad you agree. Next caller, please.”

“Y’know, I’ve kept my mouth shut for a long time but I gotta say this. There are too many chicks with big breasts on that show. They’re like everywhere.”

“I think you’re exaggerating, and I hope you’re not including me on that notion. I’ll have you know I’m quite modest.”

“Shet!” The bird excloned.

“Exaggeration, my foot!” The caller replied. “If a chick is past the puberty stage, it’s like melons suddenly spawn on their chest.”

“I’ve heard rumors about that happening. It’s a bizarre metamorphosis.”

“I’m serious here! It even happened to Ivy & Ruby eventually, they got infected too!”

“Well too bad, the damage is done, and you’re an awful person for mocking others based on what’s attached to their torso. Che, what do you think of this man?”

“Shet head!” The bird excalmed.

“I’m glad we see eye to eye. Next caller.”

“Will you answer one of my questions?”

“I’ve decided I will not. Everyone will have to excuse me briefly as I need to take care of something so we’ll have a quick break.”


An ordinary high school boy was talking to a girl who had long black hair in a hallway when a boy who couldn’t possibly be their age walked past. He was over 7 feet tall & beyond ripped. The girl immediately ignored the ordinary boy & chased after him. The boy then sighed, “I wish I was that ripped.”

Suddenly a mysterious individual burst in through a wall. He wore a red bandana & pants, yellow armbands, black shades & was also ripped. “YOU!” the man yelled.

“M-me?” The boy asked.


“Well I wasn’t cr-”


“So what do I do?”


“Alright! I’m looking, just please, put them away. How much does this ‘Pex’ cost, and how do I know that it works?”


He opened it & took out a pill the size of his hand. “What the-I can’t eat this, I’ll choke to death!”


“But how is it possible to swallow one of these?”


He sighed. “Fine, here goes nothing…”

The man turned to a girl walking past while the boy was choking in the background. “YOU THERE! YOU SHOULD TRY PEX & BECOME A REAL MAN!”

“But I’m a girl…”


“…Will I really? This isn‘t some scheme to steal money?”


“Well there’s this girl I like, will I…” she whispered the rest.


“Great, I’ll take 4 bottles.”

The man moved on to the school changing rooms & found a gym teacher who was an active buyer of Pex. The man got his camera crew & went to speak with him. “I KNOW THIS DUDE.” He began. “HE’S BEEN TAKING MY SHIT FOR OVER A YEAR. LEMME SHOW YOU WEAKLINGS JUST HOW AMAZING THIS SHIT IS.” He walked up to the ripped, bald man. “HEY ASSWIPE, TELL THESE FUCKERS HOW AWESOME MY PORDUCT IS.”









The female student briefly stopped to ask, “You mean the website, Amazon?”


“Sorry for the long break.” Lolita began. “The problem took a while to sort out. How about we continue, Che?”

“Shet!” The bird exclued.

“Just take your time, no need to rush. So, next caller.”

“Why is that bird even there?”

“Honestly, he’s just here for only one joke.”

“Avoiding censorship by slightly changing pronunciation?”

“Okay, two jokes, but this is nearly over so I wouldn’t worry about it. Anything else?”

“No, that’s it.”

“Okay, next caller.”

“Favorite position?”

“First. Next caller.”

“You’re not funny.”

“That’s not a question, next.”

“Me again. When I said ‘position’ I meant s-”

“I know what you meant, that was the joke. Next caller.”

“Why are women so glorified in all walks of life?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Y’know, stuff like all these princesses, and rewards being some chicks hand in marriage, and getting the girl and whatnot.”

“Those stories are really simple, I suppose. Though it also leans more towards the girl being some form of royalty so some generic guy can marry her & be set for life-”

“Like what you did.” The bird replied.

“What was that?”


“As I was saying, clichés still sell & aren’t risky so they use them anyway. Next caller.”

“Since you’re not planning to be around much longer, can you tell us how old you are?”
“Very well, I’m over a hundred years old...maybe. So, that’s all we have time for, take care, everyone.” Lolita waved while the bird walked off.
« Last Edit: 08 August, 2014, 09:21:37 am by Satsuki Kiryuin » Report Spam   Logged

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« Reply #448 on: 11 November, 2014, 12:52:53 pm »

It was really long so I'll post the last part next week.

The following is a non-profit fan based parody. Many things that’ll be brought up are owned by companies I can’t be bothered to look up. Please support the official release.

TMEDCE: Only Vixen Attention

It was a blah day on blah blah. Blah blah blah. A UFO flew towards Ivy’s current location & landed. A stereotypical butler stepped out & ran the doorbell, who was then greeted by Poison. “Can I help you?”

“Yes, pardon me but I’m for a certain individual by the name of Poison Ivy.”

“Hold on.” Poison sighed then yelled, “Ivy, what did you do this time?”

“Why would you automatically assume I did something bad?” She yelled back.

“Is that a rhetorical question?”

“So what’s the problem?” Ivy asked, coming to the door.

Moving along, Ivy & Poison, accompanied by Goldia, got onto the UFO & they then took off into space. The butler introduced them to a boy & girl abroad the UFO. The boy wore an open green denim jacket with a plain white shirt & shorts. He also had spiky black hair & wore a ‘Top Lel’ cap with enough space to have his hair protrude from the back. The girl wore a black & blue german girl themed costume, with blonde drill hair and freckles. 

“Hey there.” The guy said as he bowed. “My name is Meingar, and this here is Annie-May.”

“Please call me Annie.” She curtsied. 

“Oh, hey. I’m-” Ivy began.

“No need, we know you guys already.”

“Huh. So why are we here again?” Poison asked.

“Well your ratings haven’t been very good.” Meingar replied.

“The show kinda sucks now.” Annie added.

“What show is this?” Ivy asked.

“Let’s not beat around the bush now. Views have dropped ever since you got older.”

“How peculiar.” Goldia said.

“No-one wants to watch a show about old fogies.” Annie added.

“How old are you anyway?” Poison asked.

“You shouldn’t ask a woman her age, silly.”

“Anyway,” Meingar began, “We need to change things and get views up.”

“Fuck those guys.” Ivy replied. “If they were unwilling to stick around than they clearly had bad taste.”

“That’s true but we still need the views.”

“Now Mein, do you mind if I call you Mein?” Poison asked.

“I do, actually.”

“Alright, Mein. So what do you have in mind anyway?”

“Okay, check it. There’s this boy and he goes to a high school-”

Goldia raised her hand. “Is he an ordinary high school student?”

“As ordinary as can be. One day he gets these special powers just because then an alien who looks like a normal girl falls out of the sky & lands on him. She warns him that an evil generically evil alien warlord is coming to enslave the planet & now he needs to fight off defeat these invaders.”

Goldia raised her hand again. “Is the alien warlord a woman?”

“Obviously, no reason not to make her one.”

“So do you guys have actors prepared or something?” Ivy asked.

“We’re gonna make use of the people already on the show.” Annie replied. “We’re almost at the studio so we should use the teleporter to bring everyone here.”

Goldia raised her hand. “If you can just casually teleport people here why d-”

“Shut up.”


The UFO flew through a purplefied lightning storm planet & arrived at a massive studio set. After having gathered a whole bunch of people from numerous planets they explained what was going on while everyone went about their business & explored the area.

“Okay, Harry, you’ll be the protagonist.” Mein said.

“Not that I mind, but why me?”

“Dunno, you just seem like a natural harem protagonist to me.”

“Wow, that wasn’t harsh or anything.”

“That was a compliment, dude.”

“I’m not so sure.”

“Why exactly aren’t we making another show with me as the main character?” Ivy asked.

“You sure you’re the main character?”

“Didn’t you say you saw the show? Of course I am!”

Annie turned to Poison. “You’re not the main character?”

“Well I’m a main character, just not technically the main character.”

Annie turned to Ruby. “I thought you’d be more likely as the main character.”

“I should be but sadly I’m not.”

“What about that Damien guy? Would that-”

“Enough!” Ivy interrupted her. “I’m not some stupid little sister, some insignificant girlfriend, ditzy side character or some crappy cameo. I’m the main character! Numero uno! Get your info straight, people!”

“But aren’t you the bad guy?” Mein asked.

“You’ve never heard of a villain protagonist?”

“Not to mentioning being on the bad side allows you to do questionable things & get away with it.” Poison said.

“Also Ivy manages to maintain popularity from the audience by being cartoonishly evil instead of being serious about it." Goldia said. "It also allows her to look less evil in comparison to other more pressing threats & gain more support from fans as the underdog, by seeming different from people like Damien."

“I’m really not that evil.” Damien replied as he approached them, while Annie left.

“I thought I was the underdog?” Ruby asked.

“Only normally.” Ivy replied. “A villain protagonist role is also appealing because I like acting like a Saturday morning cartoon villain.”

“I also like being a super heroine.”

“Even though you guys seem to destroy so many things.” Gary began as he walked over. “The only thing that seems to get beat up when you two go at it is the environment. Do you guys just stop caring about what’s around you, or do you go out of your way to destroy whatever you can get your hands on?”

“Both.” Ivy shrugged.

“What’s your excuse?” Gary asked, turning to Ruby.

“Uhh…she started it?”

“And you call yourself a heroine…”

“Sorry to interrupt your long conversation but I’d like to start this fantasy anime.” Mein said.

“Hold on!” Annie ran back over. “We can save a lot of money by just making a generic high school harem comedy instead!”

“But I wanted my aliens…”

“Screw that! At least this way we’re guaranteed to not lose too much money if it flops.”

“Is this really necessary?” Ivy asked.


“Alright, just calm down.”

“NO, YOU CALM DOWN. Okay, let’s start, everyone in positions.”

“This situation feels familiar for some odd reason…”

In a average bedroom, Ruby walked into the room wearing a bland white & green sailor fuku as she cried, “Onii-chan! Wake up or you’re going to be late!” She tried to shake him awake to no avail, so she climbed onto a bookcase & hit him with a five star frog splash. Poison bolted upright from the impact into her cleavage. “Kyaa!” Ruby exclaimed woodenly as she punched him through a wall & covered her chest. “baka onii-chan…”

“Add in a blush later on.” Mein said to a producer off the set.

Ruby ran out the house with a big loaf of bread in her mouth. Poison followed shortly after as he ran to school while monologuing. “My name is Johnson Harry & I’m an ordinary high school 2nd year student. I’m looking forward to this year & hope I have a normal life with everything going perfect.” As he turned a corner, he bumped into Ivy who wore the same uniform, and by bumped I mean she tackled him. They spun 180 degrees in the air so she could land ass-to-mouth on top of him.

“Why you no good pervert!” She got up & tried to stomp on his face but missed as he rolled & had her foot go through the floor.

“What the hell?! You were seriously trying to hurt me there!” Poison exclaimed.

“Urusai, baka!” Ivy punched through a wall as he moved out the way.

“Hey, Harry, you gotta stop moving, man.” Mein said.

“Yeah, Harry-kun, take your beating.” Ivy added.

“Not on my birthday, and not today.”

She tripped her as she swung at him, revealing her heart laced panties. “Kyaa!” Ivy exclaimed, covering herself as she got up. “You jerk! You’ll pay for that!” She said before running off.

“Is that in the script?” Goldia asked, while Mein & Annie shrugged.

When Poison got to school, he quickly took his seat at the back of the room just behind Leo beside the window while Nookie, as the teacher, wasn‘t saying much of importance.

“Hey, Harry.” Leo began. “I heard some guy made a new peephole to spy on the girls changing rooms. Wanna check it out?”

“While I’m interested I can’t technically be too interested, so no thanks.” Poison then glanced at Annie-May across the room, now wearing a school uniform too. All the mannequins stared in amazement as she walked past & took a seat.

“Ahh, Annie-May." Leo began. "The one girl voted most beautiful in the class & your stereotypical dream girl. She’s kind, innocent and has a maxed out cooking stat, she’ll make a great housewife one day.”

“Hmph!” Daisy muttered, sitting beside Leo while eating caeki. “I’m more beautiful than her, isn’t that right, my childhood friend, Harry-kun?”

“You’d be much cuter if you stuffed your face less.”

Daisy blushed. “O-okay, I’ll go on a diet.”

As Poison stared out the window, Katie suddenly climbed in from outside, her shirt so drenched in sweat that you could see her blue bra, and shoved her cleavage into his face. “Oh, morning, Harry-kun.”

“Don’t ’morning’ me! Get those smelly things out of my face!”

“Tee-hee! Sorry about that!” She fully climbed in & sat beside him.

“I wish you would act like a normal girl, you’d be much cuter that way.”

She blushed. “If that’s what you want, Harry-kun…”

Amber suddenly showed up in a basketball uniform & waved while dribbling the ball. “Yo! I got a basketball game to practice for next week, care for a little 1v1 later?”

“I thought you were a cheerleader?” Poison asked.

“I’m both. So can you help me?”

“Alright, I’m always ready to help a girl in need.”

“That’s not sarcasm or roleplaying either.” Goldia said from offscreen.

At the front of the classroom, Brian, wearing a Velociraptor suit, decided to translate for Nookie. “Please take your seats, class. I know this is sudden, but I’d like to introduce a new transfer student who’ll be joining our class.”

“This is the third one this week!” A student responded.

“The school is surprisingly lax about this sort of thing. Anyway, please come in, young lady.”

The door slid open then Ivy entered in slow-motion and sparkles filled the air as she got the attention of everyone in the room. She stood by the desk & turned to the class. “My name is McBadass Ivy. Nice to meet you, I guess.”

There were all kinds of loud gossipers saying such things as, “Isn’t she the principal’s great-great granddaughter?”, “Her breasts look amazing!”, and, “She’s even more beautiful than Annie-May!”

“W-what! That’s so not true!” Annie yelled, slamming her desk.

“Annie, that’s not in the script.” Mein replied.

“It’s bullshit is what it is!”

“Don’t hate on perfection.” Ivy responded.

“You obnoxious bitch!”

Several people held Annie back from her attempted assault, and they finally got back on track minutes later.

“Oh, crap, it’s her!” Poison said, trying to hide beneath his desk.

As Ivy walked down the rows to find a seat, she noticed him. “You! You’re that pervert from this morning!”

“That wasn’t my fault, it was an accident!”

“Urusai! You saw my panties & touched my butt!”

All the boys were filled with a murderous rage from knowing this.

“H-hold on, guys! It’s not what you think!”

“On my planet, we can’t allow other guys besides ourselves to engage in perverse acts & let them get away with it!” Leo exclaimed.

“That’s not in the script either.” Mein commented.

They then tried to beat Poison up so he ran out the classroom & eventually ran into Rosie with them both doing a 180 degree turn so she was on top with her breasts in his face. She sighed & got off him. “Why must you always get into these kinds of positions?”

“Sorry, student council president.”

“You should stop running in the hall, and improve your attendance, and you need to join a club.”

“Yes, prez. I’ll join the astronomy club.”

And so he did, and conveniently all the girls earlier on that day had done so too, but the club could only have 7 members so Leo couldn’t join. Poison bumped into Ivy on the way in & landed on top of her with his hands on her chest. He squeezed it multiple times before she punched him through the roof as she yelled, “Pervert!”

A minute later he came back & noticed Amber. “I thought you were on the basketball team & the cheerleading team?”

“I had some time to spare so I figured I’d join this club too.”

Poison sat down beside Annie-May & they smiled at each other.

“And that’s a rap!” Annie suddenly yelled. “Next up is the beach episode!”

“It’s only the second episode!” Poison exclaimed.

“We should stop.” Mein said. “This kinda sucks, let’s do something else.”

“Oh fine, just don’t pick something dumb.”

“I’m kinda surprised you didn’t play the imouto, honestly.” Poison said.

“Oh my! We only just recently met & you’re already hitting on me, you sly dog.”

“I simply thought you had a really youthful appearance that fit.”

“I can appear even younger if that’s what you wish.”

“I’m gonna stop now.”

“Let’s go the magical girl route!” Mein exclaimed, pointing to the sky, then handed out costumes. “I got it all ready, let’s start.”

Ruby’s outfit was a pink & white dress sleeveless dress with exposed cleavage, a really short lace skirt, and the middle half partially missing to show off her midriff. “Uhh, is this really my outfit?”

“It’s lovely, isn’t it?” Mein replied.

“It’s a little too revealing, isn’t it?”

“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it quickly."


“It looks great. Okay, showtime, people!”


Ruby woke up in a bright colourful bedroom as her alarm went off. Though still sleepy she slowly got out of bed to turn it off, wearing pink bear pajamas. “Man, I had some strange dream I found this hurt animal in some forest, weird. Oh well.” She then went into the shower as a voiceover spoke. “My name is Clear Ruby. I’m a third grader at Ovary elementary (?), a private school. In this household, I’m the youngest of three children. Though you will not see them because I’m late for school supposedly.”

After getting fully dressed, she ran past Crystal & two mannequin parents as she said, “Bye.” On her way there, she causally said, “I’m gonna take this route through a forest for a change.” There she found Nookie, appearing to be injured and carried-

“Hold on. Does it have to be…him?” Ruby asked.

“What do you mean?” Annie asked.

“Couldn’t it be like a ferret or a cat?”

“Nookie is cuter than any stupid rodents like that!” Ivy exclaimed.

“Whatever, I feel uncomfortable.”

“Nookie isn’t a bad person, it’ll be fine.” Annie replied.

“Oh fine.”

“Oh, and Annie,” Mein began. “Why are you rushing through these points?”

“The beginning parts are boring, obviously, I wanna get to the action quick.”

“But the buildup makes those parts more worthwhile.”

She laughed. “That’s stupid, Meingar, you’re stupid.”

In a room nearby, Lolita & her friends were sitting round a table playing cards when Ivy’s ship suddenly crashed through a wall nearby & a younger looking Ivy got out. The others ignored this.

"So I've made a lot of money streaming recently." Pandora randomly said.

"Is that so?" Ricky replied.

"Legions under Lawyers."

"Why didn't you say earlier?" Marie responded. "What class you play?"

"I barely play the game, really."

"But you-"

"I just wear a low cut top that shows off plenty of my cleavage & make it the vocal point of my camera. After that it doesn't seem to matter what I'm doing or if I'm even playing the game. The donations come pouring in."

"Oh wow."

"It's so simple too. Even if you haven't got big breasts you can always wear a push up bra."

"You're a horrible person." Ricky shook his head.

"You're just jealous you can't do it."

"...You're right, maybe I'll get implants."

"Please don't." Pandora, Marie & Lolita listening in said in unison.

Back on set, Ruby reluctantly took Nookie to see Dawn who was eating a kebab & didn’t look interested at all in this role. “Well it should be better given some time. It was carrying this red jewel but that doesn’t seem important. You should let it rest, feel free to come back tomorrow.”


She went home & asked if she could keep the pet, with Crystal being too busy on her phone to care & the mannequin parents being fine with it.

While getting ready for bed in her room, Nookie communicated to her telepathically, “Blah blah blah, blah blah blah!” Ruby gasped, realizing he was in trouble & jumped out the window towards his location.

Nookie was being attacked by Tyson in a bear costume when Ruby arrived & picked Nookie up using her powers because she didn’t want to physically to touch him, then ran. A voiceover of Nookie then spoke. “Thanks for helping me earlier, I came from another planet to accomplish something I won’t explain until another episode or two. But I’m going to need your help, use this red jewel I’m wearing to become a magical girl.”

“Well alright.”

Ruby signed a few contracts before she was finally given the jewel. “Back on my planet, you now just say these words.” Nookie handed her a piece of paper.

“I am the one who has been given a mission. Under the contract, release those powers. Winds to the yadda yadda yadda, make me a magical girl!” Ruby pointed up for a few moments. “Umm, will I get a transformation sequence?”

“Nah, too pricey.” Annie replied.

“Hold on, it would seem better to just make one then use it as stock footage every time.” Mein said.

“Okay, we’ll add it in later.” Annie said as the younger Ivy entered the room & stood beside the two.

The bear charged at Ruby shortly after getting into her costume. She quickly spun round & pointed her staff at it as she said, “Raging Heart, wrap it up!” And then the bear was covered in wrapping paper for several more months. “Yay! I did it!”

“Not so fast!” Ivy suddenly appeared atop a skyscraper wearing what was basically a black leotard with a bunch of belts on it & a cape. “I, your rival, have made my grand entrance to beat the hell out of you!”

“Bring it! I may be an innocent starter, but as the heroine of justice, I will end you in the name of the moon!”

As the two charged at each other, Gary appeared nearby wearing a tuxedo, black top hat & a mask that only covered his eyes while holding a rose. “Remember, Sailor Sun, use the force!”

“What the hell is going on!” Meingar yelled. “You guys are mixing things up, saying the wrong lines & rushing way too fast! Everyone stop!”

“No! Let them continue!” Anime replied. “It’s getting good!”

“But they’ll destroy the set!”

“Excuse me.” The younger Ivy tugged at his shirt.

“And why is there another Ivy here all of a sudden?!?”

Ivy & Ruby stopped fighting for a moment to look, then separated. “Ahh, it’s slowly coming back a little.”

“I assume you know why I’m here.” She said.

“Not entirely.”

“Isn’t it obvious? I need to know, when do I get…that kind of body...”

Ivy shrugged. “I forget.”

“Blasphemy! How can you forget something so important?! An aspect so urgent?!”

“It didn’t end up seeming that important after all. Just wait, you’ll know in time.”

“But I wanna know right now! Tell me already!”

Ivy sighed. “I forgot how bratty I used to be…”

“Used to?” Poison remarked, before getting a chair thrown at him.

“Look, I’ll try to remember, just wait a while. Was crashing in here with the ship necessary?”

“I came to this time in the ship. Obviously my planet wasn't going to be in the same spot when I arrived, duh! So I needed the ship just in case."

"My younger self is treating me like an idiot. I really needed this..."

"What’s even going on here anyway?”

“Your show’s starting to suck so we’re making new ones.”  Annie replied.

“We should cut this one loose, I’ve got a better idea.” Mein said. “Get those five little girls so we can start.”

Two astronauts on Mars foolishly removed the lid blocking a pipe they found. The younger Ivy, wearing a big brown robe & a crystal horned helmet, emerged & stretched before blasting them to bits. Goldia, Nookie and Poison showed up shortly before she said, “Ahh! After ten thousand years I’m free!” She pointed to a planet in the background as she said, “It’s time to conquer Earth!”

As an earthquake happened, in a big computer room elsewhere, Dwanye’s head appeared on a projector at the front of the room as he said to Toby dressed as a robot, “Beta, Ruto’s escaped. Recruit 5 overly stereotypical & disturbingly sexualized middle school girls with moeattude.”

At St. Rose Academy, two young girls with red & green hair respectively by the name of Tsundere-chan & Kuudere-chan were sparing in the middle of gym class although it looked like ballet. T-chan knocked K-chan down & extended her hand to help her up.

“You’ve gotten even better recently, Tsun.”

“I-It’s not like I’ve been practicing hard or anything, you’re just rusty, is all.”

“That’s true too.” The bell suddenly rang. “Guess we’d better go meet the others.”

A girl with blue hair was chasing a boy through the hallways, who then jumped out a window to avoid her. Another girl with blonde hair ran over yelling, “Wait up, Yandere-chan!” Before tripping.

“You’re too slow, Dojikko-chan.”


Tsun & Kuu then approached them in their color coded uniforms.

“I assume Yan is trying to latch onto someone again.” Kuu said.

“You just don’t understand love, Kuu.” she replied.

“So where is Gan?” Tsun asked.

“She said she was going to ‘Shoot up some fools.’” Dojikko responded.

Right on que, a bunch of gunshots were heard outside & then a black girl jumped through a window near them. “Oh, hey guys.” She said, brushing off the glass.

“Trouble again?” Tsun asked.

“Nah, it’s cool.”

They proceeded to the cafeteria for some meatloaf & caeki when two bullies, Undead Rainbow & another girl with black hair in a ponytail & an eye patch approached them.

“Hey nerds, enjoying your food, huh?” Rainbow asked.

“You can have my meatloaf.” Gan said.

“Yeah, it’s gross.” Yan added.

“Fat chance, losers.” The eye patch girl said. “We’ll take your cake instead!” She grabbed Kuu’s cake.

“Drop it or I will end you.”

“Oooh, someone’s mad.” Rainbow said.

Suddenly an earthquake occurred, making every other student panic & run away. As the eye patch girl ran, Rainbow grabbed her by the collar. “Hey, where you going?”

“Anywhere but here!”

“But what about the cake?!”

“Screw the damn cake!” She escaped her grasp & ran.

Rainbow glared at the five. “This isn’t over, dorks!” She also ran.

“Shouldn’t we also go?” Dojikko asked.

“Gotta finish up first.” Yan replied.


“Urusai!” Tsun yelled. “I’m eating here!”

The five of them were suddenly teleported far away to where Toby was.

“Greetings, young ladies.” He greeted them.

“Wow!” Dojikko exclaimed. “A person in a plastic suit!”

“Are we on Mars?” Yan asked.

“Welcome, humans.” Dwayne greeted them.

“And who’s that?” Kuu asked.

“That’s Zardoz. He’s just too lazy to be here in person.”

“Ignore him, he just wants a raise.” Dwayne said. “Now, I brought you here to give you superpowers to help save the earth from the tyranny of Ruto Reterdo. You have been chosen to form an elite team to face her, I will give you mechs from random animals of my choice. Tsundere-chan, you shall have the power of the T-Rex, iconic & leader-like. Kuudere-chan, the power of the falcon, strong & captain material. Yandere-chan, you‘ll have the spider, preying & domineering. Gang-uhh, the black one, you‘ll get the gorilla, rather intimidating & prone to violent behavior-”

“That sounds a little ra-”

“And finally, Dojikko, your power comes from the Hippo, stupid & dopey looking.”


“So what are these cereal box decoder watches we’re suddenly wearing?” Kuu asked.

“Those are your henshin watches which you’ll need to transform.”

“This sounds incredibly dumb.” Gan said.

“I agree.” Yan added. “Let’s go shopping!”

“Fine but I wanna at least stop by that new candy store.” Tsun replied. Kuu waved goodbye as the group left while Dojikko tripped yet again.

On the way back, Ivy spotted them through a telescope, from her tower on the moon. “What’s this? Middle schoolers?!? That floating head must be behind this, but whatever.” She pointed her scythe at the earth & fired a beam as she said, “Silly fools who mess with my flo’, let them fight my gummy patrol!”

The blast landed near a mall & suddenly humanoid gummy bears rose out of the ground to fight them. They tried to fight them off while making all kinds of sounds but were ultimately too weak.

“These guys are pretty good actors.” Mein commented.

“Meh.” Annie shrugged.

Suddenly, a boy with black hair covering one eye and was wearing an all black assemble with a jacket, pants & hair showed up & began looking around.

"Y'know, for a long time many people thought I was a lesbian." Pandora randomly said.

"Not surprised, given how much you love Lolita." Marie replied.

"Yeah, it's unhealthy." Ricky added. "You also act really unpleasant towards most guys."

"It's not like I hate only guys. I hate almost everyone equally."

"Do you hate me too?" Damien asked.

"Yes, I hate you the most because you stole Lolita away from me! Give her back!"

"No! I found her first! Finders keepers."

"Well I called dibs!"

"You did not."

"Did so!"

"Will you two stop acting so childish & play nice?" Lolita asked.

"She/He started it." The two said in unison.

"So since you don't truly hate guys," Ricky began. "How about you come round my place so I can put some dressing on that salad?"

"...That was awful."

"Incredibly cringe worthy." Marie added.

"On purpose." Ricky replied.

"Don't you ever want to form a relationship with a person that goes beyond basic bodily urges?" Pandora asked. "Don't you want to truly connect spiritual with a significant other, settle down & raise a family?

"...Uhh, well."

"It's truly sad to see that from you, time & time again. How depressing."

"Now you're hurting my feelings again."

On set, Dojikko exclaimed, “Guys! We should use the watches!” And so they did, now having gained gimp suits while gaining a letter on the front, but more importantly they could now defeat the gummies, led by Goldia.

They leapt into action one at a time, front-flipping above the camera diagonally as they did so.

“Ba-kaaa!” Tsun cried, punching one in the face, then spun & kicked another as she cried, “Urusai-yaaaa!”

Kuu kneed one in the crotch as she calmly said, “Ta-daaaa.” then elbowed another as she said, “Oh-vaaaa.”

“Boomshakalakaaaa!” Gan exclaimed with a dropkick to ones face, then a flying downward punch as she yelled, “Suck-aaaa!”

Yan jumped & rapped her thighs around one’s neck & somehow snapped it as she cried, “Hey-yaaaa!”, then threw herself backwards into another’s face ass first as she yelled, “Tu-baaaa!”

Dojikko chopped one right in the throat as she yelled, “Wa-taaa!” then dodged a kick & uppercut another as she yelled, “Yat-taaaa!”

“Fools!” Ivy exclaimed, “They’re making me look stupid! They should gang up on the colored one & kill her first.”

“But they’re all colored, Reto.” Poison replied.

“You know what I mean!” Tsun & Kuu had beaten down Goldia with some staged martial arts. “Damn those girls! Alright, let’s see how they do against a titan!” Ivy held her scythe like a javalin & moved back behind a line, then started running & said, “Make Goldia grooow!” before throwing it towards the earth. As it landed near Goldia, a man showed up to call out the distance. Mein placed the camera under her to give the illusion Goldia was really growing, though she began to backhand the rangers after doing so.

“Oh no! What do we do now?!” Yan exclaimed.

“Yeah, she’s acting like we owe her money.” Gan added.

“We’re doomed!” Dojikko yelled.

The eight demon lords got on a stage nearby & began playing instruments as Tsun started speaking, with Blake being the vocalist. 

“Get a hold of yourself!” Tsun slapped her. “Remember, we’ve got a power & force that they’ve never seen before.” Suddenly a montage of the zoids coming together played as she continued. “We’ve got the ability to morph & to even up the score. No-one could ever take us down. The power lies on our si-i-i-i-i-ide.”

“Great motivational speech.” Kuu replied, now that the five were in the big multicoloured dinosaur superzoid wielding a red samurai sword. “Though we could have just summoned these earlier & saved time.”

“It would have used too much power.”

“Compared to how much we’re abou-” 


Due to not paying attention, Goldia punched them miles across the city into a building.

“Holy guacamole! Errybuddy run, it’s Gawzela!” A business man shouted as he pointed at the superzoid. The civilians in the area heeded his advice.

Ivy laughed as she watched. “Excellent, Goldia! Now blast those fools to oblivion!”  

“Alright, here’s my Sunday best. PROTON CANNON!”

“INFINITY!” Mein yelled from offscreen just before Goldia fired the beam & sent the superzoid flying further away.

The boy on the set wearing all black was still looking around. Pandora nudged Marie & asked, “Hey, who’s that?”

“Dunno, haven’t seen him before.”

“But he looks like a shinigami. Lolita, do you know him?”

“It’s strange, I feel that I somehow do, yet I’ve never seen this boy before.”

On set, the superzoid got to its feet. “Let’s show them what we can do!” Tsun said. The red sword glowed brightly.

Annie struck a pose & yelled, “X!” before the superzoid dashed at Goldia & hit her with a dozen quick slashes.

What followed were a bunch of suplexes, dropkicks, clotheslines & body slams. Goldia charged at them while the five rangers stood in their cockpit & struck a pose. “Let’s end this!” Tsun exclaimed. The sword glowed even brighter as they hacked away at her while saying, “Rangers together!” in unison, then finished with a overhead swing as they said, “Middle schoolers forever!”, turned away from Goldia & sheathed the sword as Goldia exploded.

Ivy punched a wall. “Noooo! Damn it! Curse those girls! They haven’t seen the last of me but all this nonsense has given me such a headache!”

Mein clapped. “That was a great display, guys!”

Ivy stared at Poison as she took off the hat. As he noticed he turned to her, “What’s up?”

“I was just wondering if you’re the same one I know…”

“Yes, I am in fact still an asshole.”

“Figured as much.”

“So when do we get paid?” Gan asked.

“Shortly after we actually broadcast the episodes.” Mein replied.

“You going to get around to that soon?” Kuu asked.

“Sure!” responded Annie. “Probably in a week.”

“Maybe two.” Mein added.

“Uhh, Possibly a month.” said Annie nervously.

“It could even be two months.” Mein shrugged.

“When we feel like it, basically.”

“I just had another great idea, but first of all, who is this guy?” Mein looked over at the boy in all black.

“Who I am isn’t important. You all need to get out of here, this place isn‘t safe.”

“Hey! We own this place! Any of you guys know this person?” Annie asked, but got no satisfactory answer.

“Look, something bad is gonna happen soon so you all have to get away from here.”

“He apparently came here in a ship.” Daniel said as he entered the room. “Flew in through a wall.”

“It was because the planet wouldn’t be in the same s-never mind, would-” Ruby then knocked him out with a judo chop to the neck.

“Great work, Ruby. Now onto my next idea!” Mein exclaimed.

“I just don’t trust strangers.”

“Good, harden up & put on these uniforms.” Mein said, throwing Gary & Ruby a pair of cop uniforms.

Next was a montage of scenes showing Gary & Ruby reveling in police brutality while a song played over it.

Bad boys! What’cha want? What’cha want? What’cha gonna do? Wheeen Sheriff John Brown come for you?

Tell me! What’cha gonna do? What’cha gonna do? Yea-ahh!

Bad boys, bad boys, what’cha gonna do? What’cha gonna do when they come for you?
Bad boys, bad boys, what’cha gonna do? What’cha gonna do when they come for you?

Nobody no give no bre-ak, police no give you no break, that old soldier man no give you no break, not even your auntie no give no breaks, wah-hey!

Bad boys, bad boys, what’cha gonna do? What’cha gonna do when they come for you?
Bad boys, bad boys, what’cha gonna do? What’cha gonna do when they come for yooooou?

Cops is filmed on location as it happens, all suspects are considered guilty until proven innocent in a court of law.

Gary & Ruby were driving around in a cop car when Gary called in a crime. “We’re currently tracking a stolen vehicle, they’ve refused to stop so we’re chasing them through traffic.”

“13-21. Run them over if you have to.”

They managed to catch the car from a side street & smash right into it, pushing it all the way to a wall. Toby got out of the car with his hands up while Gary & Ruby got out pointing guns at him.


“Okay! I surrender! Don’t shoot me!”


“Alright! I’m doing it!”

“TO THE WINDOW!” Toby moved to the left. “TO THE WALL!” he moved further to the left.

Ruby dragged Sakura out of the other side & stomped on her repeatedly before preforming elbow drops then finally cuffed her.

“Alright, let’s hall them off to jail.” Gary said.

“W-wait a minute! You haven’t even questioned us!” Toby exclaimed.

“Yeah! Aren’t you at least going to hear us out?!” Sakura added.

“You scumbags are getting off light. We’re on a tight shift so don’t make me get brutal.” Ruby replied.

As they dragged them into the back of the police car, Crystal on the scanner began talking. “There’s a bakery robbery happening on St. Avenue right now.”

“13-21.” Ruby replied. “Goddamn cake snatchers, they disgust me.”

“The most heinous of all crimes.” Gary added.

“The thief stole 40 cakes.” Crystal said. “That’s as many as four tens. And that’s terrible.”

“Indeed, officer, indeed.”

Off the set, the mysterious boy woke up, tied down with black rope. Dwayne had gotten off the phone and said, “So Death doesn’t have this kid anywhere on his records.”

“You’re a shini, right?” Ricky asked. “No use denying it.”

“Yeah, but I’m not from around here. We all need to get out of here.”


“Did you see the look of this planet?”

“Looks like it caught a couple dozen STDs.” Marie replied.

“Uh…yeah. Soon this planet will be overrun with a monstrous invasion from another dimension.”

“We’ll just kill them then.” Lolita shrugged. 

“Hell yeah we will!” Marie raised her hand for a high five that never came.

“Why can’t you just tell us who you are?” Daniel asked.

“It might be bad for me.”

“Did you just recently become a shinigami?” Pandora asked. “I could be your mentor, then maybe you could be my b-”

“You’re just as annoying here.”

“You’ve met me before?”

“No, forget I said anything.”

As they got a minute away from the crime scene they encountered the cake thief with his big bag of cakes & attempted to run him over.

“Hold on, we can’t run him over, we’ll ruin the cakes.” Ruby said.

“Alright, we’ll get him on foot.”

And so they followed the thief across rooftops & through open apartments until they split up briefly and Ruby tackled him on some stairs. Gary quickly arrived & after making sure the cakes were safe they began elbow dropping him repeatedly then cuffed him.

As they got back in the car Crystal spoke again. “We have a-”

“Hold on just a minute!” Annie exclaimed. “Meingar, this is stupid.”

“What? No it’s not.”

“Yes, you’re stupid, Meingar.”

"Saying it in a cutesy way doesn't automatically make it cute. Alright, genius, what do you have in mind?”

“We should make a shounen, duh! Something that can appeal to multiple groups!”
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« Reply #449 on: 17 December, 2014, 03:08:44 pm »

1 week, 1 month, what's the difference?

TMEDCE: Original Video Animation

Ruby, confused by the decision raised in part 1, raised her hand. “Soooo, do we stop here?”

“Yeah, you won’t need those. You!” Annie grabbed the mysterious boy. “What’s your name?”

“Uhh, Caius.”

“Okay, you’re the main character. Oh, I need you guys too.” Annie said, pointing at Dwanye, Ricky & Daniel. She then looked over at Damien nearby and said, “You too, you can be Caius’ light-hearted quirky grandfather.”

“So I’m old, am I?”

“She’s not exactly wrong.” Pandora replied before getting flung out a window.

“N-no!” Annie exclaimed. “I’ll give you a wig & stuff. Just figured you could do that part.”

Poison spun 360 degrees, put one hand towards his forehead & used the other to point at Damien as he said, “Your next line is, “Sounds like a role more suited for Harry than myself.”

“Sounds like a role more suited for Harry than myself…huh. So you agree?”

“I suppose I can be like that at times. Next you’re gonna say, “Then perhaps you’ll fill in for me?”

“Let’s just give that a rest, okay?”

A little later, Annie was walking into a police station & spoke to Gary & Blake, dressed as officers. “So your son, Cotaro, beat up a bunch of thugs. About two dozen guys, all armed with things from machetes to chainsaws, ended up with all kinds of broken bones.”

“My goodness! Was anyone killed?”

“Nope, just unconscious. Don‘t worry, they were sent to the hospital.” Gary continued as they walked to Cotaro‘s cell. “But the weirdest thing happened after-”

“We’ll be approaching the cell in just a moment.” Blake said.

 “Cotaro?” Annie called. “Cotaro? Where are you? Cotaroooo!”

“Shut it! Your voice is so damn annoying.” Cotaro replied, wearing a black MLG cap & black e-sports jacket.


“I must ask that you leave me. I’ve been possessed by a quirky spirit and I’m not sure what it’ll make me do.”

“As I was saying,” Gary began. “He doesn’t seem to want to leave.”

“My goodness!” Annie exclaimed.

When they looked back they saw Cotaro wearing shades & smoking cigarettes.

“Hey! Where did you get that?” Blake asked.

“Like I said, the spirit got it.” As they were in shock, he walked up to them. “Let me show you what it’s capable of.” He then blasted the badge off one of them.

Annie later called Damien to come down to the station, wearing a grey wig & mustache,  smoking a cigarette. Cotaro had gotten a widescreen television, Jacuzzi, nyan cat poster, and a brand new car in his cell.
“Move aside, I’ll take it from here. Cotaro, you‘re coming home.” Damien said, walking up to the cell.

Cotaro got up & walked over. “Get lost, I never asked you to come. You’ll be no help down here.” Mein held up a ‘BAM!’ sign in the background as Cotaro was now holding Damien’s cigeratte. “You understand now? Just leave.”

“Seems you’re up, Avocado. Get my grandson out of this cell.”

Dwayne stepped into the light & over to the cell. “Very well.”

“Don’t waste your time.” Cotaro replied. “You won’t force me out.”

“We’ll see.”

Avocado called forth Tyson, stunning Cotaro, who then got flung around the room for a short while before Goldia finally showed herself & hit him with an uppercut. Tyson tried to choke out Cotaro but Goldia burnt his arms with eyebeams & opened the cell by punching out the bars. At which point Avocado stopped & walked away as Damien spoke.

“What you have is not just a quirky spirit, Cotaro. It is a powerful stunt double, created from your own mind, since it normally appears right behind you we call it a stool.”

Annie gave a signal for them to speed things up as they sat around a table in a diner.

“Alright,” Damien began. “So there was this guy called Rio like a century ago that awoke within a coffin a while ago. You receiving that stool has to do with this guy, and he’s evil incarnate.”

“Yare yare daze, this sounds like a stupid shounen story. I don‘t believe it.”

“Then let me show you.” Damien then smashed a camera. “Oh, I have a stool too, I guess. Some tentacle vine thing.”

Annie fast-forwarded through more of it against the wishes of some others and stopped on a scene of Cotaro on his way to school. A group of girls were gathered around him.

“Please go out with me!” One girl said.

“Promise to marry me!” Another said.

“Ermahgawd, have mah babies!” A third yelled.

He ignored all this & kept walking, past Daniel eating a banana who still wore the ninja garb with a black school blazer over it. He squinted at Cotaro as a menacing~ SFX appeared. Daniel threw the banana peel in Cotaro’s direction, making him slip on it into the middle of the road & grazing his knee. He quickly got out of the road before he was run over. Daniel walked by, minding his business while the girls gathered around Cotaro.

“Wait a minute,” Cotaro began. “Do you have a smoke?”

“No, but here’s a handkerchief.”

“Thanks. That blazer, do you go to school around here?”

“Yes, just enrolled recently. The name’s-” He paused to look over at Annie. “Karrotyin Nokiari. Might want to see the school nurse about that.”

“It’s just a scratch.”

“Might get infected.”

“Just drop it.”

“Have it your way.” He shrugged & left but Cotaro was still suspicious due to the menacing~ vibes from him.

At the nurse’s office, where Dawn played the nurse, she asked, “So what happened?”

“I fell over.”

“Uh-huh. Let’s get those pants off then.”

“Wait, I’ll do it myself.”

“Alright, changing room is to your left.” She began filling out papers with a pencil as Cotaro left the room.

As he began changing, the handkerchief fell out of his pocket. He picked it up & saw it had a menacing~ SFX written on it as the nurse approached him from behind. “Wait a minute…” He spun round in time to grab Dawn’s hand before she stabbed him with the pencil. “I knew it! The nurse never uses pencils! Who are you?! Are you a stool? Does this have to do with that carrot guy?”

“Indeed.” Daniel climbed in through the window. “My stool has possessed that woman, so attacking it will also hurt her.”

“You bastard! Who are you?”

“I told you earlier, and my stool is Waterfall Blue. I work for Rio, and he’s ordered me to kill you.”

Blake started playing a short, repetitive guitar riff as Caius adjusted his cap. “To think that you’d use women as your shields makes you a coward.”

“Spare me. I do what I need to in order to win. I’d rather not have you whine about morals in my ear.”

“We’re in agreement, I’ll just beat them into you instead.”

“Yadda.” Goldia said nonchalantly, punching him in the ear. “Yaddayaddayaddayaddayadda.” More rapid punches followed for a few moments.

Cotaro took the unconscious Karrotyin to see Coseph & Avocado. Karrotyin appeared to be under mind control due to a ladybug stuck on his forehead, which Goldia quickly removed. The next morning, Annie fell ill with the curse being that she had started developing her stool.

“Oh mah gawd.” Damien said. “How do we stop this?”

“We may have to find & kill Rio.” Dwayne replied.

“Alright, here.” Damien showed a picture of some guys playing poker in a dark room. “Took a photo of this earlier.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Avo took it & came back minutes later. “Thanks to Gaggle Maps I found his location. Seems he’s hiding out somewhere in Rio.”

“Riooooooo?!” Avo nodded. “Ooooh noooooo.”

Avo then had a piece of paper passed to him from offscreen. “We may only have two weeks to save her.”

“Welp, let’s go on a road trip.”

“As thanks for freeing me I’d like to accompany you.” Karrotyin said, turning to Cotaro. “A woman so graceful shouldn’t have to suffer. If you don’t mind me saying, I’d jump at the chance to date your mother. The things I’d do to that woman.”

“Shut it. You can join, just stop.” Cotaro replied.

“I’d rerorero her deep-”

“Sounds like you want another beating.”

And so after packing their bags they posed by a minivan & headed to the airport so they could fly to Rio. Aboard the plane, a while after having lunch the lights began to go out & the passengers were put to sleep, at which point they all felt a menacing~ vibe.

“Seems there’s a stool in our mitts.” Damien said.

In the corner of his eye, Karrotyin saw a bag of peanuts leap towards Cotaro and yelled, “Look out, Cotaro! The bag of peanuts is the stool!”

“Ya-” Goldia swung at the bag but missed. “Da?” it repeatedly dodged the punches.

“Unbelievable!” Dwanye exclaimed. “It’s fast enough to dodge…” He looked at a que card. “Gulden showa’s attacks!”

“It’s cool.” Karrot said, stepping in front of Cotaro. “I got this.”

“I’ve heard about you from Rio.” the bag of peanuts responded. “Silly boy, you have no hope in challenging me. You‘re too slow.”

He struck a pose. “Is that so?”

Off the set, at a table Rosie grabbed a slice of chocolate cake when Goldia walked over & did the same.

“Since when do robots eat at all?” She asked.

“Outside of blood, since when do vampires?”

“We can actually consume more than just blood. It’s just that blood speeds up the process and is just better because of taste bud reasons.”

“Oh…well I can’t justify mine.” After an awkward silence Goldia left.

Over near the set, Annie, who had just recently teleported Lucifer & Platinum over to play Rio, stopped the others to say, “I think we should just film the finale ahead of time and then work our way there later.”

“Hold on,” Ricky replied. “I haven’t been introduced yet!”

“You will be soon, calm down.”

“When is “soon”?”

“When its done.”

Lucifer & Platinum stood on one side while Caius & Goldia stood on the other.

“So what’s this all about?” Platinum asked, turning to Goldia. “Good to see you again, btw.”

“Making a new show, apparently. I don’t get it either.”

“Finally I shall put an end to the Costar generation. Now come, Cotaro!” Rio exclaimed.

Goldia came out swinging with a battle cry of, “Yaddayaddayaddayaddayaddayadda!”

Platinum rushed in & they traded blows like rock ‘em sock ‘em robots before he eventually knocked Cotaro back. Lucifer smirked before doing a 360 spin into a pelvic thrust as he threw his head back & yelled, “Ze waldo!” Platinum landed in front of him, stood on his tip toes & did jazz hands as he echoed, “Toki wa tomare!” freezing Cotaro & the area around him. Everyone then stopped as Annie let out a loud squee.

“S-sorry,” She said as everyone looked at her. “I’ve just waited so long to hear that. I can easily fap to this, excuse me.” She felt the room.

Back on set, Platinum punched Cotaro several times before Lucifer struck a pose & said, “Soshite, toki ga ugoki desu.” at which point Cotaro flew into the side of a car.

Ivy & Poison were talking with Meingar who seemed confused about their relationship. “So you’re already a couple?”

“I guess.” They both shrugged.

“And your show hasn’t ended? That’s weird.”

“Huh? How?” Poison asked. “Did I miss something?”

“Hey, other me.” The younger Ivy asked as she approached them. “Why is the foolish angel here?”

“I didn’t invite her, these guys did. I don’t mind her presence nowadays though.”

“I have no idea how far back your timeline goes but those two are actually friends now.” Poison replied.

“W-what?!? You’re lying!” She responded.

“Totally serious. You two dated for a while too, you had a pretty intimate love life with her.”

The younger Ivy felt ill while the older sighed. “We did not, he’s just messing with you. Besides, she’s not my friend, she’s my rival.”

“Friendly rival.” Poison added.

“Is she a love rival?” Mein asked.

“No, a serious rival.” Ivy replied.

“That’s not serious?”

“Not to me. You wouldn’t understand.”

“But the shippers will.” Poison retorted.

As Damien walked over to Ivy, the younger Ivy slowly moved beside Poison. “I figured I’d remind you that the cake is nearly all gone if you haven’t had any.”

“Thanks for the heads up, I’ll go in a sec.”

He then noticed the other Ivy. “Up to no good again, I see. You always were such a troublesome little sister.”

“Hey! Don’t go assuming bad **** right off the bat, alright? That’s my younger self from somewhere in the past.”

“I’m terribly sorry then, perhaps we’d better catch up on old times.”

“Keep your filthy hands to yourself, monster!” She exclaimed.

“I agree.” The older glared at him. “If you dare touch my younger self with those hands then they’re coming off.”

“Well I can clearly see my sisters don’t want me here, so I’ll take my leave.”

Back on set, Goldia had just finished rapidly punching Lucifer & sent him flying across the street into a building. He got up and said one word, “Muda.”

Mein walked onscreen as he said, “Translation note, muda means-” He was then flattened by a steamroller.

“This isn’t even my final form, boy!” Caius gasped as Lucifer held a jar of strawberry jam & engulfed it, then removed his yellow jacket to show off his sleeveless black top.  As they charged at each other & leapt into the air, Rio stopped time again & Platinum hit him with an axe kick into a river, at which point Rio threw a whale at him. Caius ran along the whale & propelled himself out of the water into the air.

Rio kneed him in the face, sending him flying into a bus which Rio also jumped into. He then cut down a dozen people after entering as he said, “Move bitches, get out the way.” in anger, Cotaro uppercut him out of the bus.

Offscreen, Annie had returned & breathed a sigh of relief. “You alright?” Mein asked.

“Much better. What did I miss?”

“Not too much.”

Over with the demon lords, Brian was in the middle of a conversation with Richard, Alice & Tyson. “So I says to Mabel, I says-”

“Wasn’t this person called Thomas?” Richard asked.

“Who’s telling the story here?”

“Guys,” Blake said, approaching them. “I believe what that kid was saying earlier is happening outside.”

“The dimensional invaders thing?” Tyson got up. “About time I had something to do around here.”

“It might even be fun.” Alice added.

The demon lords left & the shinigami weren’t very far behind when they saw generic demonic horrors running through the streets outside. They passed by Ivy & Ruby who were discussing clothing at the time.

“How do you actually fight so well in dresses?” Ruby asked.

“I wear them most of the time, so I’m used to the feel.”

“I tend to feel a little floaty or just weighted down by them.”

“Well obviously you don’t want the long ones. You’ve already got enough weighing you down.”

“Do you ever wear puffy dresses?”

“Nah, not my style, I prefer form-fitting ones. Y’know, the tighter ones. Loose is bad.”

“I wouldn’t call the puffy ones loose.”

“I would, I like it nice & tight.”

“Well the puffy ones still look good.”

“But they’re loose.”

“…Are we still talking about dresses?”

“What else would we be talking about?”

Back on screen, Rio exclaimed, “Ze waldo!” before Platinum sucker punched Cotaro, sending him flying down onto a bridge. “This shall be the end of our battle, Cotaro, savor your final moments.”

It went quiet for a bit then suddenly Rio came back with a dumpster truck, planning to flatten him. Goldia came out & began rapidly punching the bottom of the truck while Rio retaliated by moving it towards them with rapid punches as they yelled out numerous battle cries. 







Then the dumpster truck randomly exploded, covering the place in fire. Rio dropped down onto the street, looking at the flames as he said, “Freeeeeeeee…” Then he smirked. “At least the Costars shall be no more, none were capable of surpassing me. Now begins my great rule, they’ll all grovel at my feet.” As he laughed, he noticed time was suddenly slowing down. “What the?! What’s going on?”

“I slowed down time.” Cotaro said, appearing behind him as he adjusted his MLG cap.

“Wait, how exactly did that work?” Poison asked.

“Don’t ask stupid questions, idiot!” Annie responded.

“He is pretty stupid, isn’t he?” Ivy replied.

“Fine, I guess I just won’t say a thing.” Poison shrugged.

“That’s usually the best option.” Damien replied.

Lucifer & Caius quickly finished up & got offstage. Then Lucifer waved them goodbye as he said, “Not exactly sure why I was needed but I was happy to help. Of course as payment I’ll be taking on of your souls later on.”

“That’s a joke, right?” Mein asked.

“If it helps you sleep better at night…” He then noticed there were two Ivys nearby. “I’m not even gonna ask.” And so he left.

“Am I really that bad?” Ivy asked.

“Yes.” Ruby replied.

“Very.” Poison added.

“Regularly.” Gary added.

“Oh so much.” said Damien.

Meingar turned to Annie-May & said, “Annie, I think it’s time we got serious.”

“What you got for me, Meingar?”

“Check it. Remember that time back when you were a little girl?”

“I was the most adorable kid.”

“All you wanted to do was be one of the saviors of the planet against villainous invaders.”

“It was my dream!”

“So you dressed up your pyjamas to go become a hero with 4 other guys.”

“Who are these mysterious teammates?”

“The red one, the main protagonist. Bland as fuck.”

“I love it already.”

“Blue, you know he’s the smart one because he wears glasses & wears polo shirts. Black, just add some hood talk & call it a day, he’s just there to avoid backlash.”

“Gotta have that racial diversity.”

“Then you gotta get the asian chick in there, in yellow of course.”

“Short & petite?”

“Just like in real life. Then pink who is red’s girlfriend, so she’s gotta be way out of his league.”

“How hot we talking?”

“The mind of a ten year old, the body of a pornstar, and she’s got blonde hair.”

“Never forget the golden rule.”

“So these guys pilot these ships & blast space invaders and then when the big guys appear they transform into giant mechas!”


“This is serious so you need to bust out the secret drills & pierce their heavens.”

“How big are these drills, Mein? HOW BIG ARE THEY?”

“The size of a skyscraper!”

“I can’t fap to that! How big?!?”

Meingar slapped her. “As big as the planet itself!”

“That’s not good enough! How big?!”

He slapped her again. “The size of the sun!”


He slapped her so hard her neck broke. “It’ll be bigger than several solar systems!”

“That’s more like it!” She exclaimed while rag dolling.

“Now these dudes will regularly kidnap pink so red has excuses to look cool & save her.”

“Even better since he’s a self-insert.”

“They wanna steal his girl so he’s gotta let them know she already belongs to him.”

“Fuck those NTR bastards!”

“And his older sister doesn’t want her brother fighting these evil monsters.”

“Older? The hell are you smoking? She’s gotta be young, the younger the better.”

“Sorry, wasn’t thinking for a sec. She also loves her brother more than anyone & would ride his disco stick at the first opportunity.”

“Just like in real life.”

The younger Ivy was standing with the older one further away & commented, “Those two are idiots.”

“Yeah, this feels like a big waste of time.”

“So will you tell me when it happens now?”

“You’re still going on about that?”

“That’s what I came here for!”

“It’s not important. Though you may wanna prepare making some alterations to your clothing soon for a better fit. I still wear the same kind of dresses you do, just had to update it a bit.”

“And I’d assume those updates are things I currently don’t have.”

“Hey, you said it, not me.”

Outside, the others were slaughtering the invading aliens that looked like black & green generic demons with purple blood. Goldia & Platinum were flying around blasting their heads off, Tyson punted several into the sky, Marie threw her chainsaw and impaled 3 guys in a row, Crystal & Amber were picking up the enemy tanks & throwing them into other tanks, and so on. As battleships appeared Lolita, Damien, Pandora, Blake, Alice & Richard were flying around as they blasted them to pieces, charged through them & cut them down. Those inside arrived then Mein turned to Annie who was carrying a camera & asked, “Are you getting this footage, Annie?”

“Yeah, with some editing we’ll blow all the generic stuff out the water!”

“Do you guys really believe you’re somehow on a higher level than those out there & can therefore judge everyone else & believe you’re special?” Gary asked.

“Well yeah.” They both shrugged.

As smaller enemy ships began to show up, Dawn threw big blobs of blood that destroyed their engines while Pandora blasted several down with a sniper rifle, urging Mein to comment, “Ahh, I see, you use a sniper rifle to represent your anti-social personality.”

“No, I just like rifles. Have you never heard of 360 no scopes? Pfft, scrub.” She gunned down another. “Anyway, I want my own show after this.”

“Ever since you came back you’ve gotten way too much screen time.” Dawn commented.

“That’s because I’m an adorable pure girl while you’re a shitty old hag.”

“You’re arrogant as hell & a major hypocrite too. And a big liar.”

“Can I get my own show?” Katie waved. “Everyone seems to forget me now.”

“Go away, Kate, ever since we talked to you that one time you haven’t left us alone.” Ivy replied.

“Okay, I’ll go die in an alley…”

“Please do so quietly.”

Just then the leader of the enemy invasion showed up, though he was just a big beefy guy with a red cape. “Inferior beings,” he said in a deep, raspy voice. “I grace you once again in order to acquire the role of the main character. Eisur, dispose of these pests.” A much larger beast emerged and moved on ahead.

“Foolish peon.” The younger Ivy said. “I’ll take care of this.” She flew over to the beast & summoned large fiery wings that wrapped around the monster. The beast found itself pinned to the ground with fiery hooks with satanic symbols that had rectangular edges around him. 6 mirrors surrounded him, then quickly rose up & combined into a scythe as Ivy’s voice echoed, “I shall engrave my name on your body!”

“That sounded kinda dirty.” Rosie commented.

“Remember who you’re talking about.” Poison replied.

High in the sky, Ivy quickly created a massive ball of energy that glowed as bright as the sun when the fiery scythe got consumed by it. The massive ball of energy spewed dozens of big ‘6’s & ‘1’s as Ivy landed on the ball & sent it flying towards the beast. She crossed her arms while letting out a maniacal, “Haaaaahahahaha!”

“Haven’t laughed like that in ages…” The older Ivy quietly said to herself.

The numbers bombarded the monster then Ivy jumped moments before the ball flattened the beast & punched it, making it explode. With her back turned, she said, “Behold, the power of a true main character!” as she clenched her fist, causing the symbols to spring up & crush him like an iron maiden.

“Man, I used to be so obnoxious.” Older Ivy commented.

“Used to?” Poison retorted.

“You’ve already used that one.”


Nervous, the leader called out yet another beast of similar size & several smaller enforcers. The beast began wrecking things shortly before Goldia & Platinum charged in & yelled, “YADDA!” as they punched it in the face. They rapidly punched it in the stomach as they repeatedly yelled it then Platinum hit it with an uppercut & they continued to pummel the beast in mid-air. Goldia yelled, “Yaaaa-” As she winded up her fist for a downward punch & finished with, “Da!”, the punch ground bounced him so  Platinum also said, “Ya!” as he landed an uppercut, then Goldia landed a roundhouse kick that spin him round with a, “Da!” Then Platinum stopped the rotation with a direct punch to the abdomen as he yelled, “Yadda!” Then they both continued pummelling him before knocked the beast into space.

“It’s more fun when you say it, right?” Goldia asked.

“I suppose so.” Platinum replied.

“Seems there was nothing to truly worry about.” Caius said as Ricky stabbed an enforcer in the head further away.

“Well of course not, this kinda crap happens every other week.” Ricky replied. “What were you expecting to happen?”

“Guess I’m just really gullible. I bet this was auntie’s idea of a joke, yare yare daze.”

“If you’re not gonna tell us who you are than you gotta stop blurting out shit like that. Anyway, you can handle the rest, right?”

“Consider them dead.” Caius said before forming large claws of dark energy, leapt ahead & cut down the enemy forces one by one, then flew over to the leader and stomped as he hit the ground, unleashing a demonic figure of energy around him that pummelled the beast, then launched it into the air & pounded it into the ground.

“Why didn’t you say you could do that?” Mein asked. “Could’ve saved money on special effects.”

“Because you never asked.”

As the leader attempted to crawl away, the younger Ivy stomped on his hand while the older one landed beside her. Then in unison they said, “Foolish weakling! Someone such as you could never receive the title of main character!”

Rosie was horrified. “Oh god, they’re becoming one!”

“Alright, I surrender.” The leader spoke. “I’ll leave this planet in peace. Farewell.”

As he tried to leave, Caius exclaimed, “Hold it!” The leader stopped. “You’re not going to terrorize anyone ever again, because,” He pointed at him from a Dutch angle, “Omae wa mou shindeau.”

“What does that m-” The leader spontaneously exploded.

As Caius walked off, Marie said, “Though I would’ve done the same, that wasn’t necessary.” He walked past her in silence. “I suppose it’s cooler not to acknowledge it.”

“It was totally necessary!” Annie exclaimed. “He was a horrible person!”

“Why did he randomly show up here anyway?” Ruby asked.

“Well he kept trying to take over everything & demanding that he be made the main character. So we went to go find that person so they could deal with him.”

“So what you’re saying is that this is a waste of everyone’s time.” Damien responded.

“N-no! We’re still gonna use the footage & all. Also, this was all Meingar’s idea, he even wanted that monster to kill you guys so he’d leave for good!”

“Hey! Wait a m-” Before he could finish half of them dog piled him & began beating his face in.

“Honestly, I’m tired of all this random crap so I’m gonna just give the main character title to someone else.” Ivy said, prompting Ruby to cough loudly & repeatedly. Ivy instead turned to Caius & pointed at him. “You! You’re the main character now.”

“Whatever.” He shrugged.

“So are you going to use all that footage?” Goldia asked as she floated down towards her.

“Yeah, we got enough to start a new show. We’ll do it in a week…or two…or a month…maybe two months…”

“When you feel like it?”

“Yeah, that works.”

Pandora looked around & asked, “Hey, where’s that other guy who was with us?”

“I believe he already left, didn’t seem to be one for words, just like a certain someone.” Daniel said.

“He just left without saying anything? That was awfully rude.”

“Maybe he’s just not a people person.” Dwayne replied. “Probably got it from his parents.”

“Alright, that’s enough winking & nudging.”

And so everyone quickly left & went about their own business. The younger Ivy received the information she came for and returned to her time, though the info turned out to be off by quite a bit. The end.

So yeah, that's it. Oh, happy early Christmas too, I guess.
« Last Edit: 17 December, 2014, 03:12:47 pm by Satsuki Kiryuin » Report Spam   Logged

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