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The Something Something Demonic Something Ever

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Author Topic: The Something Something Demonic Something Ever  (Read 9433 times)
ganonfloyd
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« Reply #45 on: 24 December, 2009, 08:58:30 pm »

*smile*
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Floyd is the devil.
I SERIOUSLY DREAMT OF FLOYD BEING A KILLER CYBORG WHO RAN 10 TIMES FASTER THAN ANY NORMAL HUMAN, AND THEN KILLED MM, TURNED FEMALE, WENT AFTER ME, AND I DROPPED FROM THE SKYSCRAPER! IT HURTED, BUT I AWAKE CALMLY, THINKING I WOULDN'T SEE YOU AGAIN.
*no gold, just us*
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« Reply #46 on: 24 December, 2009, 09:52:45 pm »

*LOL*
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« Reply #47 on: 03 January, 2010, 01:39:46 pm »

I've been waiting quite a bit to finally do this one.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TMEDCE: Chapter 8 – Dat Soylent

It was the middle of the night, and Ivy sat on the couch in the living room with a bag of Doritos, watching a show which featured footage of car crashes. Suddenly, the doorbell rang, at which point Poison ran to the door, getting a strange look from Ivy as he did so. He opened the door and in walked Ivy’s self-proclaimed ultimate nemesis, Amber. She greeted Poison as she entered. “Hey Poison, nice place.”

“Thanks. Ivy is right over there.” He replied, nodding in her direction.

“Hi Ivy-chan!” She exclaimed while waving. “So, how’s your world conquest coming along?”

“Why are you even here?” Ivy asked as she stood up. “It’s only been a week so far, so I’ve still got quite a bit of work to do.”

“It’s kinda weird how it’s already been summer and winter, yet only a week has gone by.” Poison pointed out.

“So have you made progress or not?” Amber asked, growing impatient.

“Well I’ve analyzed my targets, what measures will need to be taken, and drawing up the plans as-”

Amber ignored Ivy as she went on and instead turned to Poison and said, “She isn’t making any progress at all, is she?”

“Not in the slightest.” Poison said without hesitation.

“Hey! Don’t just take his word for it! He speaks lies!” Ivy yelled after realizing they weren’t paying attention to her. 

“Anyway, Amber, I’ll show you around.” Poison said as he began to walk off.

“Thanks.” Amber replied, following close by. “So you got any spare bedrooms, or are we gonna be sleeping together?”

“I’ll be praying for the latter.” Poison said as they left the room.

Ivy went back to watching her show. An hour later, Amber came back into the room, wearing Ivy’s pyjamas, which she wasn’t very happy about. “May I ask why the hell are you wearing my pyjamas?”

“Relax, you had a few pairs in your draws.”

“That’s not the point! And don’t look through my draws!” Ivy started waving her arms about.

“I had to stretch it out a bit though; still it’s kinda small for someone as mature as me.”

“Why you...” Ivy glared at her.

“Well it’s true, isn’t it? You’ve always been this small, and I don’t see that changing any time soon. Even though I give you helpful advice you don’t do anything about it, like a lost cause.”

“I can still kick you out, you know.”

“Just remember to get nutritious food in your diet, some milk, vitamin C, etc. Remember, you are what you eat.” Amber nodded as she finished. “Well, good night, little Ivy-chan.” She said before leaving.

Just then, two parts of Ivy’s subconscious appeared on both her shoulders, doing a good angel bad angel routine. The bad angel wore a dark red version of her dress while the good angel was in white. The bad angel then spoke, “Are you really gonna let that ignorant moron put you down? I say you should kill that **** in her sleep!”

“Is there really a need to go that far?” The good angel asked. “You could just observe her hobbies and weaknesses and attack those points.”

Ivy turned to the good angel in shock. “Hey wait, I actually have a good angel?!”

“I’m as shocked as you are.” She replied. “But maybe instead, you could eat her instead. After all, she said you are what you eat, right? You hate that woman, but you want some of what she has, so if you eat her, you’ll rid the universe of her existence and look more mature in the process!”

Ivy smiled and then started laughing as she stood up. “Haaaaaahahahaha! That’s genius! Your evilness impresses me, good angel!”

“I’m impressed as well.” The bad angel nodded. “Wanna get a drink?”

“Sure.” The good angel shrugged and the two Ivy angels left together, holding hands, which disturbed the hell out of the real Ivy. And so, Ivy entered the basement and built a large oven, and then made her way upstairs into one room where Amber was sleeping, picked her up and took her down to the basement.

The very next morning, as a ray of sunlight shun through the window, she looked down at herself and realized that she had actually grown and now looked just over 18, meaning that in the eyes of everyone else, she could be considered barely legal, which is awesome. She was so excited about finally maturing that she rushed down the stairs yelling, “It worked! It actually worked!” As she entered the living room, Poison sat on the couch watching a show where a ninja had just kicked a shark, and he was eating Doritos. He looked at her, and continued watching, just before immediately looking back at her at shock. “I’m pretty speechless, partly because I don’t know who you are, but mainly because you’re naked.”

“Huh?” Ivy finally realized this and promptly kicked Poison through a wall before running off to put clothes on.

A few minutes later, Ivy came back downstairs wearing her regular attire and approached Poison. “So what do you think now, huh? Don’t I look better than that filthy demon? Do you like me now?”

“Not really.” He said without hesitation.

Ivy has taken back by his response. “Huh?! Why not?”

“Because your personality completely overshadows whatever you may look like, and is a majority of the reason I hate you above anything else.”

“Well fine! Be a douche! I’m gonna go somewhere else then!” Ivy left the house and slammed the door behind her. After walking for a bit and calming down, she was suddenly attacked by robotic T-Rex’s, at which point Spring and Floyd appeared out of nowhere and punched them into the air before they exploded. Floyd glanced over at Ivy who was still awestruck over seeing a robotic dinosaur. “You don’t seem to be from around here, may we be of assistance?”

“It’s me, Ivy.” She said after coming to her senses.

“Oh.” Floyd replied, as if he was disappointed. “Excuse us.” Spring and Floyd left immediately, aggravating Ivy again. Ivy visited several places that day; with everyone completely ignoring her once they found out who she was, including Willard, who knew who she was immediately, because he is Willard. On the way back, she ran into Ruby, who was looking around the streets nearby at the time. Ruby approached her and said, “Excuse me, have you seen a demon girl recently? She wears pretty much exactly what you’re wearing, and has a huge ego.”

Ivy smiled upon wondering whether or not she should toy around with the foolish angel for a bit, or just reveal herself and gloat for a short while. Obviously she chose the gloating. “Foolish angel! It’s me!”

“Mario?”

“No! Ivy!”

Ruby took a few moments for this to register. “But, you look so…”

“I know, right? I finally discovered how to rid myself of that childish body! If you are my rival then you must do the same!” She then remembered that everyone showed no interest due to Ivy’s personality. “On second thought, don’t! Stay as a little girl! So now I’ll take off and leave you utterly curious.” Ivy left, leaving Ruby utterly curious about how this could have happened.

After getting back, Poison asked where Amber was, which Ivy lied about by saying she left early in the morning. Late that night, Ivy noticed her current body was disappearing because she had become flat as a board again, and so she thought the only solution was to abduct any mature woman and eat her. And so she left late at night to kidnap her target, and returned an hour later as she dragged a woman home. Ruby was conveniently watching this from some bushes nearby, still utterly curious. Ruby snuck in through the window as Ivy took the body down into the basement, and a large number of noises could be heard, at which point Ruby realized what was going on and was in complete shock.

Just then, Poison came downstairs in green pyjamas and said, “Hey Ruby.” Before going into the kitchen. Ruby waved back while replying, “Hi Poison.” Just before leaving as quickly as possible. The next morning, Ivy was happy that her mature body had come back, and ran around the house again, this time wearing clothes. Ivy decided that kidnapping women and eating them was the only secure way to maintain her development, and so she left to kidnap several more women in broad daylight. Sadly, not many people seemed to take notice of Ivy grabbing certain women and dragging them into alleyways.

Ivy used knock out gas to…knock them out, and then placed them in a conveniently placed nearby trolley. She then pushed the trolley towards her house while covering the bodies with a blanket. Unfortunately, Ruby found her as she got near the house. “I know what you’re doing!” Ruby yelled as she saw her. “It’s sick and wrong!”

“Maybe so but its necessary.” Ivy replied as she quickly got into the house with the trolley and shut the door before Ruby could enter, then closed the windows. This carried so for several more days, with Ruby trying to warn Ivy’s intended targets, but for them to ultimately be used as fuel for Ivy’s self confidence. Then one morning, Poison was really curious as to what Ivy was doing in the basement for several hours every day, and listened by the door leading to it. All that could be heard were the sounds of saws, machinery, and screams that were just barely drowned out by rock songs.

As Poison moved away from the door, Ivy left the basement moments later, holding a chart as she spoke. “Subjects are effective so far. One with freckles seemed to produce some strange rash on my arm, resulting in scaly spots for an hour. Have not verified whether fat chicks may make me chunkier. Have also not verified whether women with ridiculously large breasts will affect me negatively.” She stopped and noticed Poison right beside her. “How long have you been here?”

“Long enough to still be slightly confused.”

“Well don’t go into the basement, for any reason whatsoever.”

“Oh yeah, did you finish that Goosebumps book by the same name? I kinda saw the ending coming, but yet I was still amused by it.”

“Hey! Don’t spoil the ending! I haven’t finished it yet! Anyway, I think we should have a barbeque.” Ivy suddenly grinned.

“Why?”

“Because after hearing what everything thinks of me, I want to show them all that I’m not that kind of person any longer.”

“I don’t buy it.”

Ivy expression changed as she suddenly narrowed her eyes at him. “Just invite people already, and make sure to invite that foolish angel. I don’t want her to miss this.”

And so time moved along once again, to the evening of the next day, where the barbeque took place in Ivy’s backyard. Poison greeted the various people who arrived, some he knew and some were just some random women Ivy told him to invite. As the Loli Rangers arrived, Poison greeted them; bro fisted Loli Black and then stepped aside to let them in. Spring and Floyd approached the door shortly afterwards. “Floyd! My man!” He exclaimed.

“Poison! My boy!” Floyd replied.

“Oh, and Spring, I’ll return that Black Lagoon comic tomorrow.”

“You’d better.” He nodded. The two of them then entered. Everything was going fine, people were talking, Poison showed off his happy feet to Spring, more cowbell arrived, and Ivy was managing to kidnap women when nobody was watching her, while people enjoyed the food, which happened to be Ivy’s specially made hamburgers. Ruby arrived soon after everything else and immediately tried to find Ivy, which didn’t take very long. “What’s this about?”

Ivy looked up at her and cheerfully smiled. “Ahh, the guest of honor has arrived.” She handed Ruby a burger. “Here, I wish to make amends with you. Try my “Dat Soylent” hamburgers.” Ruby didn’t trust her for a second, so she removed the bun and saw a nipple in the middle of the bun. She dropped the bun and looked at some of the other meat, seeing various body parts attempting to be covered up. She immediately ran, yelling, “Don’t eat the food! Dat Soylent is mature women! I repeat, Dat Soylent is mature women!”

Poison smiled as he stood beside Spring and Floyd. “Y’know, I waited all day just to hear that one line.”

Ivy was becoming desperate as half the people eating the food spat it out and displayed their disgust. Some others, such as Yandere-chan simply didn’t care and kept eating. Ivy leaped over her barbeque stand and followed Ruby back into the house, chasing her with the intent to eat her and finally rid herself of her rival. Ruby hid in the bathroom and turned off the lights then moved into the corner. Ivy slowly opened the door, saying, “Om nom nom.” As she did so. Ruby ran through the wall as Ivy chased her again, complete with her Om noming. After a while of running around, she decided to wait in the living room and kick her into the basement after a long while of waiting for her to run in. “Om nom nom.” She said once again as she crept down the stairs.

Ruby looked around, trying to find somewhere to hide, and saw horrible scenes of the various devices Ivy was using to cut up the women and stick them in her easy bake oven 666 edition. “Om nom nom.” Ivy said once again as she had an evil smile stuck on her face and ominously approached the angel. “Om nom nom.” She said once more as she grabbed her scythe, just before the dim lights went out.

An hour later, Ivy and Poison stood by the front door. It was late at night and the visitors were leaving, while expressing the horrible evening they had. Ivy now had the body of a little girl once again, and sighed as they all left. “Well, I guess that foolish angel had some young serum in her body, because I can’t get my mature body back.”

Poison quirked an eyebrow. “Huh? What are you talking about? Opposite week is over now, remember?”

Ivy immediately stopped moping. “Huh?”

“Remember, it’s that time which comes once every two years where, for a week, all little demons have adult bodies due to some kind of positive energy reflected off of the sun. It sounds nuts but whatever. You usually look forward to it every two years, so I thought you remembered.”

Ivy put a hand to her cheek. “Of course! How could I forget! But how come I began to turn back after the first night?”

“Oh, your mom said your granddad’s ship was blocking some of the sun’s rays.”

“I see…so I ate all those women for nothing, but at least I ate my anch-nemesis, Amber.”

“No you didn’t, that was just a weird dream you were having. Amber said she had to visit a few guys earlier that morning. I have no idea why though. So what was the point of all this?”

“I thought we needed a little more dark humour, and that’s about it.”

“That’s good enough for me.” Poison shrugged as he finally closed the door.
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~SA2
ganonfloyd
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« Reply #48 on: 04 January, 2010, 06:32:34 pm »

YESGOOSEBUMPS
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Floyd is the devil.
I SERIOUSLY DREAMT OF FLOYD BEING A KILLER CYBORG WHO RAN 10 TIMES FASTER THAN ANY NORMAL HUMAN, AND THEN KILLED MM, TURNED FEMALE, WENT AFTER ME, AND I DROPPED FROM THE SKYSCRAPER! IT HURTED, BUT I AWAKE CALMLY, THINKING I WOULDN'T SEE YOU AGAIN.
*no gold, just us*
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« Reply #49 on: 05 January, 2010, 02:51:08 pm »

THE THEME IS THE ****
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~SA2
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« Reply #50 on: 05 January, 2010, 03:21:09 pm »

OM NOM NOM
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Marie Rose
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« Reply #51 on: 06 January, 2010, 01:46:25 am »

Believe it or not, I came up with that only at the part where I was actually writing it. though I tend to do this quite a bit.
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« Reply #52 on: 06 January, 2010, 06:40:50 am »

I seriously shuddered at the nipple in the burger part.
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Marie Rose
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« Reply #53 on: 18 January, 2010, 01:15:17 pm »

Been a little while since I last updated.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TMEDCE: Chapter 9 – Unwanted Fanservice

It was a bright summer’s day, yet again, and inside a certain cheerful yet chaotic household Ivy was in the living room typing something on a laptop while she had the television on as mainly background noise, as it’d be too quiet otherwise. As she finished writing up something, on the television she heard an advertisement about a holiday resort with a hot spring that helps to develop the growing body much faster than any other method, and this immediately caught her attention. After explaining about the clear pools, the fabulous view, the spas and everything else, SA2 was asking random civilians opinions on the place.

“How did you like the resort, ma’am?” SA2 said with the microphone to her face.

“Amazing! I was a man when I arrived, but now I’m a woman, and it feels great!”

“How does that even work?”

“I don’t even know!”

As Ivy seemed fairly interested in visiting this resort, Poison hopped down the stairs fully dressed and with his hands in his pockets. “Sup, Ivy?” She didn’t answer, at which point he glanced over at the television and automatically knew what she was going to say next.

She stood up and raised her fist into the air, randomly yelling, “No mayo!”

“Well that was certainly unexpected.”

“Poison! We have to go to this resort!”

Poison dully nodded. “There’s what I was expecting. It won’t help, you know.”

“Fool! Weren’t you listening? That guy became a girl! How does that even work? I don’t even-” She paused, spun round and stared into the bushes for a few moments. “Well that’s odd, anyway, let’s go!” Ivy ran out the door, and Poison reluctantly followed.

They took Ivy’s ship to the resort and parked the ship in a handicapped space in a car park, mainly for the lulz. They entered the clear, sophisticated white building, complete with statues, a fountain, opera music, and black and white checker floors. While Ivy was cheerfully pointing out all the things she had planned, Amber greeted them with open arms as she approached them. “Well look who it is! What brings you two here?”

“Hey Amber.” Poison waved.

Ivy stepped back and pointed at her. “You! My arch-nemesis! What are you doing here? Plotting to get rid of me once and for all, eh? I won’t fall for it!”

“Arch-nemesis? You hurt my feelings, Ivy-chan.” She frowned.

“And another thing, stop calling me that! It’s demeaning!”

“So you’re here to use the “magical” hot spring, right?”

Ivy gasped and stepped back yet again. “H-how did you know that?”

“Who wouldn’t know that?” Poison retorted.

“I know because I run this place, Ivy.” Amber began. “I made that advertisement to get you guys to come down here, so in other words, that magical hot spring isn’t magical.”

Upon hearing those words, Ivy dropped to her knees in utter defeat. After a short period of silence, she got back up. “Well, you’re probably lying anyway, as if I’d believe anything my arch-nemesis would say!”

“Well I might be saying more because I own this place now, so I can visit you guys more often now.”

“That’s great news, Amber.” Poison said with a thumbs up.

“That’s the worse news ever!” Ivy yelled, clutching her head as if she was in unbearable pain.

Amber sighed and shook her head. “Seriously, Ivy, why do you have such a problem with me?”

“Because you act like you’re so superior, and that body of yours!”

“Well I have given out helpful advice on occasions, and you never even bother to try and follow it. That’s why you get no male attention.”

“Hah! I get plenty of male attention. There are plenty of guys who would prefer me to you.”

“Yeah, the middle-aged lolicons.” The impact of Amber’s insult was so hurtful that Ivy curled up in a nearby corner and started crying, prompting Poison to say, “Regardless of how arrogant she can be, that was pretty harsh.”

“Well I guess I went a bit too far there…”

Later on, Ivy got changed into dark red swimsuit with a skull on the front. As she left the changing room, she said, “I would normally ask you how I look but you’d probably just say I look like a spoiled brat.”

“You know me too well.” Poison said with a smile, who wore basic green trunks, because green is just his style. They shortly arrived outside at the pool area which quite active. Upon seeing the pool, Ivy jumped back in fear, prompting Poison to say, “What, is the water gonna make you melt or something?”

“Of course not! I just can’t swim, and the pool looks pretty deep…”

Moments later, they came to a halt and stared in amazement as a girl got out of the pool. She looked like a young teenage girl who had a mature body, glistening black hair and purple eyes. She wore a bright purple swimsuit and swayed to the right, moving her soft and silky hair in slow motion as she climbed out. Ivy licked her lips upon seeing such a sight. “Man, I’d love to have a piece of that.”

“I’d have more than just a piece.” Poison nodded in agreement. It was then revealed that they were both staring at a cake with strawberry icing and sprinkles, which a waiter happened to walk by them with. As they walked along the edge to find a good spot to sit, Ruby happened to walk by them, wearing a pink swimsuit with bright red polkadot patterns and a ballerina like skirt added to it. She looked back after a few seconds, unsure if it was really them, but carried on walking anyway.

While walking around, they ran into Ivy’s parents who happened to notice them as they passed by. Ivy’s mother was quite tall, with her delicate yet firm legs and an even more mature body than Amber while still being very well-proportioned. Her hair was halfway between pink and red, sported in pigtails just because. She wore a red and white striped bikini.

“Hey Mr. and Mrs. McBadass, nice to see you here.” Poison greeted them.

“Right back at ya.” Awesome replied before they touched fists.

“So you’re taking a break from world conquest, Ivy?” Her mother asked.

“Only a quick break, I’m still making a breakthrough so don’t misunderstand!” Ivy quickly walked off before she could be asked anymore questions.

A bit later, after entering the hot spring and realizing it wasn’t working, decided to get a massage by a tall bishonen with black hair. While this happened, Ivy went on about some of the things she’s been through, how inferior most people are, and how much of an idiot Ruby is, who happened to sneak in the room with a cardboard cut-out of bushes to spy on Ivy while she kept talking. “So I have a servant that doesn’t even listen to me, and won’t even kiss the royal foot. You seem like you’d make a good servant, would you kiss the royal foot?”

“I’d need to be paid extra.”

Ivy sighed. “Most people should be thrilled I’d suggest such a thing. If I asked them to even kiss my ass, they should do so.”

“I’d be happy to with your consent.”

“R-really? Well I’d be okay if it was you, I guess. Remind me to spare you when I eventually conquer earth and kill all the people I hate.”

“I’ll take that into consideration.”

“Anyway, part of the reason I haven’t made much progress is because of that stupid, foolish angel interfering with my plans. Seriously, she’s a complete moron.”

“I’m not a moron!” Ruby yelled. Upon realizing she said that, she ran and left the room just as Ivy got up, saying, “Who said that? Reveal yourself, mysterious person I called a moron!” She gave chase, determined to catch up with that person, but not before leaving a tip.

Ruby ran outside with Ivy following close behind until she eventually managed to see part of her face. “You! Again? But you should be dead!”

“I got better!” Ruby yelled back.

“You always get better! That doesn’t even make sense! You can’t just keep coming back to life with no explanation whatsoever! You can only do that in shows primarily based around dead baby comedy, or shows which seem for kids but are for adults, or shows with tons of dark humor, or stories written by random people over the internet!”

“I only got two of those references!” Ruby responded.

Ivy’s mother, who was watching on the other side, sat up and said, “Oh, is that the mysterious rival Ivy told us about? They seem to be having a lot of fun.” She cheerfully smiled at the sight of Ivy and Ruby laughing as Ivy chased her along the shore of a beach.

“That doesn’t look like fun.” Poison said as what he really saw was Ivy trying to slice Ruby in half with her scythe. “Hey Ruby!” Poison suddenly shouted.

She looked in his direction and waved as she yelled back, “Hi Poison!”

“Oh, so you like the cute and innocent type of girls, eh? Well I guess it is true that the more innocent something is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it, and I’m sure you’ll have a lot of fun corrupting that girl.” Awesome nodded.

“Please don’t put words in my mouth.” Poison retorted.

“I have to agree though, that girl looks so adorable that I’d like to take her home and do all sorts of things.” Hawt agreed.

“I still have a hard time believing you’re Ivy’s parents…”

Ivy continued to chase Ruby until she heard a familiar voice yell, “Stop right there, you two!” so they stopped right there, immediately. The voice was none other than Loli Red of the Loli Rangers, accompanied by the others, who were in regular clothes and not swimsuits.

Ivy quickly turned to Ruby and asked, “Who are these losers?”

“I have no idea.” Ruby shrugged.

Loli Red was shocked. “How could you forget us?!? We’re the Loli Rangers! We were there that time when you fought in giant robots, where you also ignored us! Not to mention that barbeque we were invited to!”

Ivy turned to Ruby again. “We have giant robots?”

“I have no idea.” Ruby shrugged.

“Can’t you say something else?” Ivy asked.

“I don’t know.” Ruby shrugged.

Suddenly, a giant enemy crab emerged from within the large pool, terrifying everyone within the pool and those around it. Ruby pointed at the creature and exclaimed, “It’s a giant enemy crab!”

“Holy crap!” Poison exclaimed, who suddenly appeared beside them.

“We’re not gonna get through this without pointing out massive damage tendencies, are we?” Ivy asked.

“Hell no.”

The crab immediately went after several women, though they all managed to escape, and going after Hawt resulted in a boot to the head. While deciding who to go after next, Ivy yelled, “You stupid crab! Stop ruining my day!” The crab stared at her, winced and then moved on. Ivy was furious, while Poison burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. She kicked the crab, knocking it through a wall and causing a great deal of damage. Upon recovering from her attack, the crab tried to grab Ivy, who ran while gleefully yelling, “Yeah! I’m a target!”

Suddenly, Awesome hit the crab with a flaming shoryuken, shortly followed up by a downward cannon spike from Hawt, knocking the crab back in the water. Ruby came running up to the two of them, simply amazed by the sight. “That was so cool! I wish I’d brought my camera!”

Hawt kneeled down as she spoke to Ruby. “Ahh, you’re Ruby, the one I’ve heard so much about. You’re even cuter up close; would it be okay if I kidnapped you?”

“My mom says if I get kidnapped again then I’ll get grounded.”

“Everything you’re saying just makes me want to kidnap and corrupt you even more!” She said with a cheerful smile, which disturbed Ruby so much she hid behind Poison. Just then, the crab emerged from the pool yet again, angrier than before. As if right on cue, Spring and Floyd appeared out of nowhere and punched the crab, sending it flying and causing it to explode. They adjusted their shades after doing so.

“You have a habit of turning up when crazy stuff happens.” Poison pointed out.

“Indeed.” Spring nodded.

Except that the giant enemy crab wasn’t dead yet! Just mostly dead, and came back with a vengeance. The crab was promptly greeted by the giant robot, Robo Magical Girl, Moe-chan who punched the crab across the pool. “We cannot allow you to hurt others here today!” Loli Red said. “Get ready guys, and let’s try to move together and work as one, since this is barely functional.” As they charged at the crab, Moe-chan tripped and landed on its face. The others immediately stared at Loli Green who apologized by saying, “Sorry, my bad.”

“Just be careful on the controls.” Loli Red began. “The ship could explode from the tiniest amount of damage.” There was then a long period of silence, as if they were waiting for something. When nothing happened, Loli Red gripped the controls again. “Okay! Let’s kick some-” Sadly, the robot suddenly exploded.

As the crab was distracted during all this, Ivy, Poison and Ruby were now back in their regular clothes. Ruby had her double edge spear out while Ivy had out her scythe. “You two, let’s finish him!” Ivy said.

“I’m gonna enjoy this.” Poison grinned as he firmly held his green blade. They charged at the crab, moving all around the area, slashing at it as they sped past. Poison caused a large cut above its forehead with his blade and backed up. As a random civilian started speaking, Spring held him back while saying, “This is important!”

Poison started easily sidestepping the crab’s attacks as Spring leaned forward and said, “He’s using his happy feet!”

“Are they gonna go for the wombo combo?” Floyd wondered.

Ivy and Ruby flew down beside him and all three attacked head-on, leaving the crab unable to counter after being hit repeatedly by all of them. The three finished the crab with a triangular finish, as Ivy flew by; with a single slash so fast it left a visible line as she stood with her back to the crab. Poison did the same, followed by Ruby, causing the crab to explode in a spectacular fashion, finishing it for good.

Poison quickly walked over to Spring and Floyd and asked, “So how was that?”

“Everything that needs to be said can be said with a nod.” Floyd replied as they both nodded.

The rest of the day proceeded as normal, with tons of laughing, Ivy being insulted constantly by the people around her, and Ruby being forced to clean up and pay for the damage done to the buildings when Ivy kicked the crab through a wall. As Ivy and Poison were leaving late in the evening and were approaching their ship, Ivy sighed before smiling. “Y’know, despite not getting what I came here for, I had a good time.”

“Same here, the crazy things which happen always make the day more fun.” Poison nodded. “By the way, where did your parents go to?”

“They wanted to stay a bit longer. Something about taking something extra back home.” Ivy started up the ship as she said this.

“They were serious? Man, I feel sorry for Ruby then.”

“Why?”

“Well, it’s nothing really important.” He shrugged as he laid back.
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« Reply #54 on: 18 January, 2010, 07:38:14 pm »

Everything that needs to be said can be said with a nod.

Considering sigging.
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Floyd is the devil.
I SERIOUSLY DREAMT OF FLOYD BEING A KILLER CYBORG WHO RAN 10 TIMES FASTER THAN ANY NORMAL HUMAN, AND THEN KILLED MM, TURNED FEMALE, WENT AFTER ME, AND I DROPPED FROM THE SKYSCRAPER! IT HURTED, BUT I AWAKE CALMLY, THINKING I WOULDN'T SEE YOU AGAIN.
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« Reply #55 on: 18 January, 2010, 07:42:53 pm »

Man, I've been on a row recently.
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« Reply #56 on: 20 January, 2010, 12:42:07 pm »

As a random civilian started speaking, Spring held him back while saying, “This is important!”

I leaned forward in my seat at this point.
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« Reply #57 on: 23 January, 2010, 08:17:47 am »

This ended up being a lot longer than I expected, though lulz will be had.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TMEDCE: Chapter 10 – A Resistance to Poison

It was a peaceful quiet morning, and Ivy sat at a peaceful table, reading an epic and all-inspiring novel by some random author as she sipped a cup of coffee and put on a pair of reading glasses, peacefully. Just then, Poison leaped down the stairs, and he was very worried compared to his usual laidback attitude, so it must be bad. “Holy crap! I hope I’m not too late!” He said as he ran past Ivy, who removed her reading glasses and turned to him. “Do you mind? I’m peacefully reading a novel about a young girl who becomes an assassin and she’s recently decided to take over the world. Quite amusing if I do say so myself.”

“Sorry, it’s just; Wikipedia might be closed down soon!”

“So?”

“So?!?” Poison couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “It’s like the main wiki, and we need more wiki’s these days, like TVTropes, which tends to take away half my free time but I digress. There’s this event going on right now to raise enough money, so I gotta get down there!”

“Good luck then.” Ivy replied before continuing with her book.

Poison dashed out the house and past the bushes, at which point Ruby popped out and waved. “Hi Poison!”

“I didn’t say, “Hey Ruby.” He responded as he stopped.

“Yeah, why not?”

“Wikipedia might get shut down.”

Ruby gasped. “Not Wikipedia! That’s like the main wiki, and we need more wiki’s, like the awesome but time consuming TVTropes!”

“Yeah! That’s what I said! There’s this event going on right now to help raise money.”

“Then let’s go!” Ruby joined Poison as they ran down the street.

Later that night, they were walking back to Ivy’s house, engaged in a deep and psychological discussion. “I always thought the sixth boss was the hardest in Streets of Rage 2.” Ruby said.

“The sixth boss were two previous bosses together, you know.”

“Yeah but I mean the spinning guy on all fours.”

“The Blanka ripoff? He isn’t very hard compared to the likes of that wrestler guy, R. Bear, and Shiva. Shiva was a badass, so I always loved fighting him.”

“Yeah, he was so cool! I’d love to have a bodyguard like him.”

“Wouldn’t we all. Well, here’s my place, guess I’ll see ya round.” Poison said as they parted ways.

“Well, how about tomorrow?” Ruby asked.

“Eh? Well, okay, I’m not really doing anything important anyway.”

“Okay, I’ll come round at 11am, bye!” She quickly ran off just before Poison entered the house, and saw Ivy sitting at the same table.

“So where have you been?” She asked as he entered.

“Out helping wiki’s, I told you, remember?”

“Well you seemed to be gone for a really long time…”

“Yeah, those events can be exhausting, well good night.” He quickly left and went upstairs, leaving Ivy still quite suspicious.

The next morning, Poison got dressed quite early, and waved goodbye to Ivy before leaving the house. Ivy, still being very suspicious that something was going on, decided she would follow him. As Poison left the house, he saw Ruby waiting nearby and approached her as he said, “Hey.”

“Hi.” She replied before they got moving. The first place they went was a park to throw rocks across a river and do random stuff, while Ivy watched with binoculars from behind a bush, in utter disbelief over this scene. They soon began to feed some birds breadcrumbs, though they didn’t like the crumbs and instead attacked Ruby who ran around with them pecking at her.

Next they went to an arcade and played Street Fighter IV, because there can never be enough references of that game. After a long while of constant battles, Ruby was winning 8-7 and Poison quickly left to get something to eat, and during this time Ruby played a quick match. Unlucky for her, two pro wrestlers were fighting nearby and one was knocked into the arcade machine, which tipped over and fell on Ruby.

They then visited an ice cream shop and each got strawberry ice cream cones, soon before walking through another park where a dog peed on her leg, and bees chased her for a short while. They continued talking about important things such as how awesome the original Crash Bandicoot games were, and what the best episode of Gurren Lagaan was. “Although they were all awesome in their own right, you-know-who’s death and Simon ending the emo faze made me weep waterfalls of manly tears.”

“Same here. The time skip was lame until the point where they went into space to fight the main bad guys, and then it became epic again, shortly before going beyond epic at the final battle.”

Ruby nodded in agreement. “Yup. I’ve watched it 6 times now.”

“6? I haven’t reached 5 yet!”

“Well I just-”

“Hold on, you got ice cream on your cheek.” Poison interrupted her. “Let me get that.” He took out a handkerchief and licked it, then used the saliva to wipe off the ice cream as Ruby giggled.

This sight was nauseating for Ivy. “Ugh! The cuteness experienced here is just plain disgusting! My partner and rival, going behind my back to have a secret love affair!”

“Oh, so you had one of those relationships.” Spring responded, Floyd and him both nodding as they fully grasped the situation.

“Eh? N-No! It’s not like that!” Ivy protested. “And where did you come from?”

“We appear when you least expect it.” Floyd replied. “Or when weird monsters attack.”

“Whatever, they’re moving, I have to get going.” Ivy said before rushing off.

Poison and Ruby entered a cinema, as they went to watch the movie, “Pirates vs. Ninjas in Space 3.” Which was said to be better than number 2, but not as epic as the first. Ivy approached one of the tills which SA2 was at and said, “One ticket for that Pirate and Ninja movie.”

“Sorry, little girl but you need to be at least 15 to see this one or come with someone that age accompanying you.”

“Little girl? Don’t let this childish body fool you, I’m most likely old enough to be your grandmother. I demand a ticket!”

“No.”

“Curses!” She said as she walked off. As she left the cinema, Amber asked, “Hey, what’s up, Ivy?” as she walked past her.

“Hmm? Oh, hey. I need to get into this movie because Poison is having some secret love affair with my rival and I must make sure it doesn’t go any further.”

“Oh, you have one of those relationships.” Amber nodded as she fully grasped the situation.

“No! Not that way!” Ivy protested yet again. “Well are you gonna help me or not?” 

“Well, I think Poison is a good “partner” for you, so I’m gonna help get you two back together so you can be a “team” again.”

“Your double entendre’s are neither amusing or ingenious.” So they went back into the cinema and Amber helped Ivy get into the movie, and after taking their seats, Ivy spied on them from the back row. A trailer was starting as they took their seats.

It opened to a scene of a black car driving into an abandoned building as the narrator began speaking. “In a world, where crime actually does pay…” Four agents got out of the car, those four being Spring, Floyd, Unreal and Masterman. Though Spring, Floyd and Unreal wore the same suits, Masterman had gold teeth, bling and a chain around his neck. “There were four agents who lived on the edge and didn’t play by the rules.

Suddenly, a red samurai ran out at them and was immediately shot in the head as they all took out shotguns and awaited the arrival of the whole gang. It showed scenes of them blasting everything in sight as Unreal said, “Ain’t nothing like shoot-em-ups in da morning!”

“We just be showing them gangs how we do, man. That’s all it is, man.” Floyd replied.

“Tru dat, man, tru dat.” Spring responded.

Flash forward to a poker game which Unreal was hosting a few days later, where Masterman drove through a wall with two machine guns in his hands. “This **** is gangsta, man!” He exclaimed before shooting everyone in the room and leaving.

Spring and Floyd came across Unreal later that day, shocked that Masterman even shot up the cards. “Unreal, my boy! Who did this?” Spring asked.

“It was that hater, Masterman.” He replied. “He was straight up tripping, yo! Just came out of nowhere, and blasting ****, you know how it is. But it’s too late for me,  man, just show that fool how we do!”

They nodded in unison and took out the shotguns again. “They now have to visit an old friend…” After finding out where Masterman was hiding somehow, they kicked down the door as the narrator said, “Cause **** just got real.

“What’s up, mother-f-” Floyd’s sentence was cut off as he blasted a guard in the face.

“What the **** is dat, man!” One random guy shouted, prompting Spring to say, “Ya’ll already know what it is!” before firing at them.

He then shot one woman assassin in the face, causing Floyd to shake his head. “That was uncalled for, man.”

“Had to be done, man. She had a nice rack though.”

“Tru dat, man, tru dat.” Floyd nodded as they continued blasting.

They soon reached Masterman, who greeted them fairly well. “What’s up, homies? Hope you ain’t still hating on a brother!”

“Of course we hating, man!” Floyd replied. “You killed Unreal, my boy!”

From the makers of “Dat ain’t Willard”, “Making it Rain”, and “Movies which don’t really exist” comes the most thrilling and epic action packed movie of them all.

It showed a scene of Masterman getting into a jet as he said, “My beats are so hard even yo momma feels ‘em.” Just before being hit by a bomb and sent flying out the window.

Gangsta ****
Coming out February 33rd


Ivy put down her binoculars. “Wait, the 33rd? Is that a real date?”

“Who cares, it looks good; wanna go see it when it comes out?” Amber asked.

“Sure, why not.” Ivy shrugged.

After the movie, Amber left to go visit some more people while Ivy continued to follow them. They stopped by a beach and sat on a bench, with Poison talking about some of the crazy times he had spent with Ivy. “So there was this one time one demon dumped water all over Ivy, and she wanted to get him back.”

“So what happened?” Ruby asked.

“Well she got some space cow dung and using one of those paint rollers, wiped it around a single area, hoping that when he walked by he would trip up and fall in it. Though as she was leaving, she ended up tripping in it herself and spent two hours scrubbing herself clean.” They both laughed at this while Ivy quietly gasped. “Hey! He promised he wouldn’t tell anybody!

“Although it can be quite a misery around her, I’ve also had some fun times at the expense of Ivy’s dignity. We’ve been together for about just over 20 years, I think. She most likely wouldn’t approve of me going behind her back to hang out with her rival, because she can get rather jealous.”

“Oh, you guys have one of those relationships.” Ruby nodded as she fully grasped the situation.

“Not like that.” He replied.

“By the way, what’s your real name?”

“Well, I wouldn’t normally tell anyone this, but I think we trust each other rather well.” He whispered it in her ear, and she displayed a look as if to say, “Really?” He nodded.

Ivy took this opportunity to quickly sneak off as she was sure Poison was about to leave. Poison soon waved goodbye to Ruby and planned to meet her again tomorrow. As Poison got back, he greeted Ivy by yelling, “Ivy, I’m home!”

Ivy was in the kitchen, wearing an apron and baking a pie. “Is that so? Well dinner is ready.”

“Dinner? But you don’t cook. What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” Ivy took out a kitchen knife and threw it at him, which missed him by inches. “You’re seeing that fooooolish angel behind my back! That’s what’s wrong!”

“See? I knew you’d act like this, which is why I never told you!”

“I forbid you from seeing here! You’re my servant!”

“She understands me, Ivy! We just connect better! And we have a lot more common than I have with you.”

“So you like her more, huh?”

Poison nodded. “Yes, Ivy. Yes I do.”

“Fine!” She threw a knife at the wall and turned her back to him. “If you like her so much, go stay with her instead!”

“But Ivy!”

“Silence!” She silenced him. “Just go. I need not see you ever again.” It suddenly started raining outside, and there was a flash of lighting. Poison left without a word and shut the door behind, at which point Ivy dropped to the floor and yelled, “BAAAAAWWWWWW!!!”

The next day, deciding that she didn’t want to see Poison or Ruby again, she decided to pay some certain little girls a visit. She found the Loli Rangers inside Robo Magical Girl Moe-chan, fighting a breakdancing robot in a park, and had just beaten it. Ivy showed up wearing a pink version of her normal attire, with a pink helmet. Ivy flew by them and managed to get into the cockpit, shocking them all as she attacked them. After a lame badly acted fight scene, the Loli Rangers were kicked out of the robot and onto the ground where Ivy joined them.

Ivy took out a large cannon and yelled, “Special effects cannon!” firing a large beam of special efforts, which knocked the rangers to the ground. She approached Loli Red and took her sweater. “I’m the leader of this team now.”

“Huh? W-why?”

“I’ve decided to change my ways and become a good person, because my partner betrayed me and was seeing my rival behind my back!”

“Oh, so you two had one of those relationships…” Loli Red nodded as she fully grasped the situation.

“Why does everyone keep saying that?”

Loli Red got up. “Fine, since we lost the battle of special effects you can join.”

“Well I’m the leader, and I’ll be Loli Pink, since you don’t seem to have one. The first thing we’ll do is raise money for charity!” She exclaimed, raising her fist in the air.

On a bridge somewhere, Poison met Ruby, his clothes looking really damp. “Hey.”

“Hi. What happened to you?”

“Ivy found out about us and got mad, so I had to sleep on the streets, and it started raining for no apparent reason.”

“Why was she mad?”

“Well, Ivy isn’t a very complicated person. She speaks like an adult, but acts like a little kid. Most of what she does is to get a reaction out of people and when she feels nobody is paying attention to her, she does bizarre things to rectify that. The two closest people to her right now are me and you, and she thinks we’re having some secret love affair and feels forgotten.”

“Well she could always join us. We could have a threesome day! It’d be great!”

“I don’t think you understand the meaning of that word. Anyway, Ivy will calm down in a day or so.”

“I heard her say she was gonna join the Loli Rangers and do good things. I know this because I listened outside the window.”

“The Loli Rangers? Oh no, if Awesome finds out she’s doing good, he’s gonna open that can of whoopass! I’d better go stop this, guess I’ll see you round, Ruby.” He ran off as she waved goodbye and she was then eaten by a large fish which leaped out from the water below the bridge.

In the middle of a street, Ivy was forcing Loli Red to sing songs while wearing a short skirt and a tight shirt, while she also lightly sprayed her with water, and demanded money from anyone who even glanced just for a second. She began talking to herself while doing this. “Those douchebags, treating me like a fool! I wonder how long this was going on, and what they were doing!”

She imagined being put to bed by Poison and kissing her forehead as he tucked her in. He then went downstairs where Ruby snuck in through the window and whispered, “Is she asleep?”

“She’s asleep, my love. Now let’s continue where we left off.” Poison put on, “Let’s get it on.” as he approached her.

“But Poison, we mustn’t! I’m not ready yet!”

“Just relax, baby, and surrender your love to green thunder.” As he leaned in to kiss her, Ivy immediately stopped thinking about it.

Just then, Poison arrived and said, “Hey Ivy.”

“Ahh! Green thunder!” Ivy yelled as she jumped back from him startling her.

“Green thunder? Anyway, you can stop being good now, me and Ruby aren’t seeing each other anymore.”

“R-Really? You promise?”

“Yeah.”

“Later, losers!” Ivy quickly left with Poison, though she left the money collected so Loli Red wasn’t as mad, but she was forced to continue by the other members.

“So Ruby said that we had one of those relationships, what does that even mean?” Poison asked.

“Everybody I mentioned it to said the same thing.” Ivy replied. “Those two guys, Amber, the Loli Rangers…”

“You saw Amber? Did she say anything about me?”

“She said you were a good “partner” for me, and that she hopes we’ll make a good “team” in the future.”

“Eh?”

“Nevermind. You still haven’t told me your real name. Even though we’ve known each other for ages.”

“Fine, I’ll tell you. Promise not to laugh?”

“I’ll try my best.”

Poison sighed. “My real name is-
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« Reply #58 on: 30 January, 2010, 10:32:05 am »

TMEDCE: Chapter 11 – The Power of Love

Early one morning, Ivy was in the basement, on her computer. She was currently engaged in a fight with G.U.N, and controlling several of her planes using the computer. Due to her training in playing several shoot-em-ups on the hardest difficulty over the last few weeks, her finger speed was phenomenal, making her easily able to blow up half their ships. Poison entered the basement as this was going on and approached her. “Hey Ivy, is that a new video game?”

“This is no video game, fool! I’m battling G.U.N with some of my strongest ships!”

“Ahh, I see you’ve gotten back to actually making progress.”

“Yeah, it’s been a while since I did anything. I wanted to test their capabilities against my own inventions, and they seem to fair pretty well. While you’re here, press B7 on the other keyboard, would ya?” Poison did so, at which point a large cannon emerged from one of Ivy’s ships and fired a giant laser, which took out G.U.N’s large battleship.

The Commander was witnessing the battle taking place and his eyes widened. “My god…she sunk my battleship!” He ordered his fleet to retreat, and they did so immediately. Ivy crossed her arms and laughed at her mighty triumph over her enemy. “Haaaaahahahaha! Now they know the true power of the almighty demon princess!” Poison nodded as he quickly left, and then Ivy resumed her game of Touhou.

Ivy came back upstairs soon afterwards, incredibly hungry as she clutched her stomach. “Hey Poison, could you make me something to eat? I’m starving! I could probably eat a T-Rex on steroids!” After she received no answer, she looked around the house and discovered he had left, so she decided to cook herself. Sadly, the cupboards were almost completely empty, as was the fridge. She noticed a vial on the kitchen counter, and she never bothered to read labels and was also quite thirsty, so she drank it down immediately. She quickly felt invigorated and decided to wait for Poison to bring back some food.

When he returned a bit later, he did in fact bring some food. As he was packing away some shopping into the cupboards, Ivy entered the kitchen, feeling slightly ill. “Hey Poison, could you make me a sandwich?”

“Sure, just let me finish.”

“Okay, I’ll help.” She said as she grabbed one bag.

“You’ll help? That isn’t like you.”

“Why do you always think the worst of me?”

“Because you never fail to prove me wrong.”

“Then maybe I’ll show you I can be an understanding and caring master.”

“That would sure make me like you more, anyway.”

Ivy turned her head away from him and crossed her arms. “Well, i-it’s not like I want you to like me or anything!” She immediately gasped and covered her mouth. “I can’t believe I just said something so cringe worthy! Forget I said anything!” She yelled before running off. Poison seemed confused but still carried on packing away the shopping.

Poison didn’t hear a sound from Ivy for the rest of the day, and he slept on the couch with the television on the explosions channel, which showed explosions 24 hours a day. He continued watching said explosions when he woke up when Ivy soon entered the room, wearing pyjamas and still looking ill. “Uh, Poison, could you please get me a glass of water; I’m not feeling too good…”

“Uh, okay.” He replied as he got up, still suspicious over Ivy’s behaviour.

“Thank you.”

“Thank you?” Poison couldn’t believe he had just heard her say that. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Poison got up and felt her forehead with his hand. “I think you might have a mild fever…”

Ivy, on the other hand, wasn’t listening as she was lost in thought. “Why does his simple touch somehow soothe my soul, yet ignite it at the same time! I don’t understand this! I-It’s not like I’m happy that he’s worried about my health! I don’t like this moron at all, yet my mind does…

Poison finally moved his hand from her forehead. “It seems to be getting hotter; I’ll get a bag of ice to cool you down.”

“Uh, no thanks, I’m going out!” Ivy yelled as she ran out the door. She breathed a sigh of relief as she began walking. Soon after, she randomly saw a nuke heading towards a city. Her mother happened to be nearby, wearing the same red and black spandex as Awesome, with the same patterned cape. She punched out the nuke, sending it into space before it exploded.

Ivy ran towards her as she stared into space where the nuke had exploded. “Mom! I’ve got a question.”

Hawt spun round to face her. “You do know you’re wearing pyjamas, right?”

“Y-yeah! I know!” She said as she realized. “But about that question!”

“Yes, dear?”

“I’ve been getting these warm sensations in my chest which I can’t explain when I look at a certain person, and my heartbeat speeds up when they’re nearby.”

“I see you’re starting to experience love.”

“What is love?”

Hawt chuckled at her question. “I was waiting for someone to finally mention that song.”

“Huh?”

“Anyway, love is being willing to sacrifice your life to protect those you care for. It’s also staying with your significant other until they’ve run out of money or lost their power.”

“I’m gonna go now.” Ivy said as she backed away.

“Take care, Ivy.” Her mother waved.

Ivy went back to her house to put on her regular clothes, and on the way there she ran into Ruby at a bus stop. She glared at her while Ruby did the same. “It’s you, the foolish angel.”

“My name is Ruby; I at least take the time to remember the names of people I don’t really like.”

“As you should, because my name is too awesome and magnificent to possibly forget. Anyway, why are you following me?”

“I’m not today. This is a bus stop, you ran into me.” 

“Oh right. Well since I’m here, I need some advice.”

Ruby stroked her chin. “Well, I really shouldn’t be giving advice to a demon who wants to take over the world, but I guess this one time couldn’t hurt…”

“So, I’ve been getting these warm sensations in my chest which I can’t explain when I look at a certain person, and my heartbeat speeds up when they’re nearby-”

Ruby gasped and loudly exclaimed, “That’s love!”

“N-no it’s not! An almighty demon such as I has no use for a pathetic feeling like love!” Ivy quickly denied and then asked, “…What is love?”

Ruby held her arm out, turned her hand and closed her eyes as she replied. “Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more…”

They started head banging for a few moments before Ivy stopped. “But seriously, what is it?”

“It’s when you enjoy spending time with that special person, and would risk your life to save them from death, and so on and so on…”

“Yeah, whatever. Goodbye, Rabi.” Ivy said as she walked off.

“It’s Ruby, and bye!” She waved soon before the bus approaching lost control and hit Ruby as it crashed into the side of a nearby house, starting a fire.

As Ivy reached her house, she ran in clutching her head as she passed Poison on the couch. “You okay, Ivy?”

“No! I’m not! There are these voices in my head, telling me to do disgusting and perverted things, and I can’t make them go away!”

“I get those voices too.” He said with a nod.

“Just don’t bother me.” Ivy said as she ran upstairs and slammed one of the doors before locking it.

The next day, due to Ivy’s unusual behaviour, Poison went to see his psychiatrist. Hey name was Lily and she had orange hair with a large ahoge and orange eyes. She wore a red jersey top and red flare chess pants, had a red pendant on and a black belt around her pants with an ‘SB’ symbol on it, and her shoes were also orange. She held a flipchart as Poison entered the yellow room and sat on the couch further away from her. “Hello Poison, how are you today?”

“I’m good, so could we get to the point?”

“I’d rather not, because I’m not paid by the hour, so stalling gets me more pay.” Poison chuckled at this before she said, “I’m serious, by the way.”

“So anyway, Ivy has been acting strange lately.”

“Ivy is the bratty selfish demonic princess you’re forced to serve, right?”

“Yeah.”

“One of Those relationships, perhaps?”

“That joke is old now.” He retorted.

“So define ‘Strange.’”

 “Well she’s watching more television programs with me, some she didn’t have interest in before, like ‘More Explosions in 3D’ on the explosions channel.”

“I have that one on tape, but we’ll discuss that later. You noticed any other strange habits?”

“Well, I checked one of the rooms yesterday, and the walls were covered in writing about whether she should confess her love or not, various ‘not safe for work’ notes, and suggesting she wanted to watch ‘Date Movie’ with me, and this was all written in blood, from a corpse I found nearby.”

Lily nodded as she wrote down a few notes. “So how do you feel about ‘Date Movie’?”

“It’s horrible! Why would anyone want to watch that?”

“I see you’re still sane…” She nodded again. “Well, I think it’s nothing and she’ll grow out of it eventually.” She handed him the bill. “That will be $599.” She said with a cheerful smile.

“You’re a horrible psychiatrist.” He replied.

Poison returned to the house shortly afterwards to discover it was quite dark despite it still being light outside. Everything was switched off, and it was eerily silent to the point of discomfort. Poison looked around for Ivy, soon deciding to look around upstairs. As he walked past one of the rooms, Ivy swung her scythe at him, which missed him by inches and got imbedded in the wall.

“Ivy, what the hell are you doing?!” Poison yelled as she prepared to swing again.

“I have to do this, Poison! These voices in my head just won’t go away! So I figured if I kill you, the voices will finally stop.” She smiled as she finished.

“You’ve officially gone nuts.” Poison ran down the hall, evading her repeated swings and eventually dove into one of the rooms and locked the door. Ivy tried to kick it down but it was no use. “Open this door, damn it! Open the door, please! It won’t hurt much; I’ll even kill us together!”

Poison backed away from the door and phoned Spring and Floyd. “Guys! Ivy’s gone nuts and is trying to kill me! I feel as if this was all leading up to this point! What should I do?”

“Make it raaaaiiiin!” Floyd suggested.

“You got a mango Sentinel?” Spring asked.

“This isn’t a joke, guys!”

At that moment, Ivy made a small crack in the door with her scythe. “Heeeeeeere’s The Shining reference!” She blasted the phone out of his hands and tried to grab him but missed as he climbed out the window. She climbed into the room and followed him outside across the roof, back into the house again. Poison made it back into the kitchen, looking for a weapon to use which wouldn’t kill her. While he was deciding, Ivy appeared again. “Heeeeeere I am again!” As she laughed maniacally and held the scythe over her head, she suddenly stopped. “Wait, why am I doing this again?”

“I see you’ve calmed down.” Poison said with a sigh of relief.

“I had this really weird sensation I couldn’t explain.”

“You didn’t happen to drink a vial I had, did you? It was this pink love potion mixture; I thought I lost it or something.”

“…Love potion?...” Ivy tried to tie the pieces together, at which point she raised her scythe again.

“I guess that potion was pretty effective.” Poison nodded, obviously not paying attention. “Sadly, I’ll have to get another because you never look at things before you drink or eat it. To make it worse, Amber’s gonna be here any minute. Oh well, no big deal.” He shrugged.

“No big deal?!?” Ivy yelled. “I nearly lost my sanity because you stupidly just left it out on the counter when the place was empty! I had headaches and unnatural feelings! It’ll be no big deal when I slice you open and feed on your intestines!” She chased him around the area, swinging at him repeatedly just as Amber arrived. “Hey guys.” She quickly noticed what was going on. “Uhh, did I come at a bad time?”
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Spring; the season your dreams take place in
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« Reply #59 on: 31 January, 2010, 04:00:24 pm »

“I need not see you ever again.”

I almost died laughing.
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