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The Something Something Demonic Something Ever

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Author Topic: The Something Something Demonic Something Ever  (Read 12450 times)
Marie Rose
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« Reply #405 on: 06 February, 2011, 04:10:28 pm »

In another dark dimension somewhere, Pandora and Dawn were flung towards the rocky ground in the middle of a prison and separated shortly afterwards. Dawn got to her feet first and looked around at the barren wasteland, complete with a purple misty sky and flashes of lightning. “Man, that was pretty embarrassing.”

“Indeed.” Pandora replied, too unmotivated to even get up.

Just then, a large crowd of tentacled monsters noticed the individuals who had recently arrived. One of them pointing the two out as it said, “Hey guys, fresh meat! Time to get our raep on!”

Pandora slowly got to her feet, as if **** had just gotten real. “Pathetic.” This sudden reply got even more monsters attention. Pandora laughed for a moment. “All of you are weak! You’re no threat to me at all! I could crush every one of you without breaking a sweat. My name is Pandora, and from today, you all serve me. I will make you submit, and you will be my ****. If you think you stand even the slightest chance…” She drew her umbrella. “Come at me…bro.” And so they attacked, and just as she had said, was quickly dispatching every one which attacked her within seconds using 1 or 2 hits while Dawn decided to look around while this went on.

Back on earth, a small portal opened up and Crystal flew the ship out of it, stopping 20 feet away from it as it closed. “That was awesome!” Ruby exclaimed as she leaped out the ship. “But it shouldn’t happen again, because it wouldn’t be so great a second time.”

“Damn straight it wouldn’t!” Ivy replied, also leaping out. “Had to waste my time coming here and hel-I mean, doing stuff when I could have been home watching TV, and the other demons didn’t do jack ****. And you stole my thunder, I mean, I’m the main character after all.”

“Its tough being a main character.” Poison sighed.

The random credits began rolling again, which they chose to ignore as most of them got off the ship. Ruby turned to Ivy and said, “And just so you know, I still kinda hate your guts, because you seem to make my life better, and yet worse at the same time.”

“You just stole my line too. Well I hate your guts more, so there!”

“By the way, Poison.” Crystal began. “When are you gonna move past that crossdressing hobby of yours?”

Poison facepalmed. “You know what, **** you guys. **** all of you. I know you all secretly hate me and look for any opportunity to take jabs at me.”

“Don’t you do that as well?” Rosie asked.

“That’s besides the point. I just feel like the buttmonkey who isn’t really the buttmonkey. But you know what? You’re all just jealous that I can look good in a dress and you can’t, so **** you guys, I’m going home and wearing normal clothes.” He stormed off.

“You tell ‘em, Poison!” Amber yelled. “Work those legs! Shake what yo mama gave ya!”

“So by the way…” Ruby began. “If that gold belt was fuelled by hate and similar emotions, what’s that white belt powered up?”

“Oh, Omar said it was powered by frustration. I’m not sure what he meant but it felt overwhelmingly good. Like a massive weight was lifted off my shoulders.”


And so, the day was saved, thanks to a bunch of people who come from other planets, but that’s not important. Adol, Nookie, Masterman and few others didn’t take part. Adol because he was still teaching his daughter who harass people who visited his town, Nookie because he was busy eating dinner with his wife and kids, and Masterman because he was making a music video at the time and his new album “Beast-Masterful” is said to release in July. Cherry did not appear in this season, because there was no excuse to throw her in, but I’m assuming she survived. Leo continued to hang out with the others despite no longer needing training, discarding his manly persona when Rosie told him he didn’t need to act like the other Leo anymore.

After dealing with the hordes of monsters, Willard left Spring and Floyd, saying that while the brief partnership was fun, they were still enemies as usual. While saving people, the Loli Rangers encountered Loli Pink, who said that her family’s house got destroyed so she was moving back and could join the team again. The four robot minions of Dawn, seeing how they no longer had to put up with her, no longer had a purpose. Platinum decided to go study ninjutsu to improve his skills, Silver got a job as a voice actor working for Sega, and Bronze decided to become a crappy stand-up comedian. Gold, feeling guilty, apologized to Poison for the insults and for fighting Dawn, and decided to become his servant, which Poison wasn’t too keen on, but Ivy forced the idea anyway.

And so most things went back to normal, expect for a small things which didn’t.

In an office building, one ninja was speaking to another, talking endlessly. “That was great, now lets do a 4th season and have 10 more. I already have a bunch of ideas we can use, but you gotta come up with the-”

“No, damnit!” The second ninja slammed his hand on the table. “Its long enough already, it doesn’t need anymore. We should’ve stopped after season 2. It was finished. There was no need to add any more. This just felt too packed. I’m sorry, man, but I’m done with this.”

“But this is a gold mine! We ca-”

The other ninja pulled a gun and shot him. “I said no, damnit!” He walked slowly to the exit and turned off the lights as he left.

The ninja sat up moments later, exclaiming, “Ow! That hurt!” as he did so.

In the other dimension, Pandora and Dawn currently sat within a group circle, being new members of this group as one tentacled monster was speaking. “So I was showering, just minding my damn business, when suddenly this chick walks in. **** didn’t even knock! And yet she slaps me! Well excuse me for exposing yourself freely to me. **** had no common sense, I should be the one slapping her!”

One monster with a clipboard replied with, “Alright, we understand, **** didn’t know ****.”

“But how can she slap?!”

“Mr. Matthews-”


“Anyway, we have two new members who’ve joined our group today. After a big misunderstanding, everything sort of worked out.”

“My name is Dawn. My hobbies are torturing others, trolling, and ****. As you can tell, I‘m a complete monster. Almost literally. ”

“And now for you, Pandora.”

She sighed. “This is bullshit. I refuse to participate in it.”

“Now, now, Pandora, you need to be more open with us. People have been complaining that you’ve been incredibly hostile, even though we no longer mean any harm. C’mon, give us a smile.”


“She’s only dere for her beloved Lolita.” Dawn said. “And occasionally for me when I tease her enough, moreso in the bedroom.”

“Stop making up ****.” Pandora replied.

“She was quite depressed until she discovered Lolita had given Pandora her email address, whereupon Pandora squeed like a little girl when she found a computer.”

“Knowing that she cared enough to tell me is enough to keep me happy.”

The monster nodded as he continued writing things down.
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« Reply #406 on: 08 March, 2011, 12:14:58 pm »


This sentence is only here to waste a few extra moments of your time. dotdotdotdot

This **** should be on like Donkey Kong singing a Swan Song.
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« Reply #407 on: 02 April, 2011, 05:45:28 pm »

I really should have put this up yesterday, but for some reason I didn't.

Now its time for: Reipa Girl, tell ‘em!

Lolita sat at an office desk with the camera facing her. She pointed as she said, “Yooooooou.” completely deadpan. “Hello, and welcome once again back Q&A, it‘s been a long time. Joining me today is Pandora.” She said, drawing attention to her sitting to the right. “You may remember her as that one egotistical bitch who went on rants and was incredibly mean-spirited…she’s agreed to tone it down.”

“Unfortunately.” Pandora added.

“Now let’s get started. First caller, you’re on.”

“So wait, why is Pandora there? What about continuity?”

“I got better.” Pandora replied. “But to seriously answer your question: Shut up. Nothing has changed. This never happened.”

“So what’s it like at that other place then?”

“Dull, boring, uninteresting, etc. I get along fine with the monsters, which disturbs me. Though some intentionally try to provoke me, such as sticking notes on my back. These range from stupid ones such as, “Clap if you can read this.”, “Clap if you wanna punch me in the face,” and the occasional, “Whistle if you’d tap that.” There have been some unexplained murders recently.”

“Uh-huh. Good to know. So what about Dawn?”

“She fits in with them a little too well, and though we have two beds, she insists on sleeping in mine, but dares not touch me as I would rip her apart with my bare hands. She’s also quite fond of waiting under bridges only to pop out and scare anyone who passes by.”

“Oh, you mean like a troll?”

“Yes, thank you for explaining the joke, you piece of shit.”

“S-sorry…” The caller said nervously.

“Next caller.” Lolita interjected.

“Hey there, so does this mean there’s gonna be a fourth season?”

“No.” Lolita replied immediately. “The next person who brings it up will be anally raped and decapitated.” After a long period of silence, she then said, “Next caller, please.”

“Pandora, why are you such a bitch?”

“Because real woman are. And being Shinigami is suffering. Now suck it up and deal with it.”

“Yeah, well, I still think you’re a bitch. And possibly a whore.”

Pandora shrugged. “Well I think you’re stupid.”

“Bitches and whores.” Lolita randomly said.

“Sluts and ditzes.”

“Douchebags and assholes.”

“Morons and idiots.”

“Dungeons and Dragons.”

“Bedknobs and Broomsticks.”

“Seltzer and Friedberg.”


“Okay, I think that’s enough now.” Lolita said, raising her hand and stopping Pandora before she could finish. “So…next caller?”

“Hey guys. So if there was a fourth season, would you be in it, Pandora?”

“Well seeing how I wasn’t killed off, most likely. It’d probably be some stupid role like spending most of my time getting back somehow and stalking Damien so I can kill him. But he keeps avoiding me like a fucking pussy. And then I’d somehow undergo the worf effect and get beaten, where upon I would unfortunately be reduced to a supporting character. A tsundere, if you will.”

“Why don’t you just cut to the chase and just have a threesome?”

“I’m not the type of person to share.” Lolita replied. 

“And I hate Damien.” Pandora added. “He keeps avoiding me. The fucking pussy.”

“I doubt he wants to waste his time beating up girls.” Lolita responded.

“Fucking pussy!” Pandora repeated once more. “Besides, you brought up that season thing again, so we’re gonna have to kill you.”

“Aww shit! Could you let me off just this once, I was only a little curious.”

“No can do.” Lolita shook her head. “Seven days.” There was silence for a few moments as Lolita went to the next caller.

“What’s the deal with Japanese anime nowadays. Here I am, trying to be a lazy piece of shit all day and watching my fascinating and intellectual animu when BAM! They throw a loli in, who’s all kawaii desu~ and shit. And then the plot suffers, and my enjoyment is instantly ruined.”

“Calm down, bro.” Lolita replied. “Naturally, this shit makes money, so they’ll apply it if it happens to work, regardless of the insignificant complaints.”

Pandora contributed to her point by saying, “Just take me for instance. I’m more likely to be forgiven simply because I’m a beautiful girl who isn’t past her expiration date, regardless of how mean-spirited I may act. But one thing that disturbs me is the constant use of girls who are nowhere near puberty and yet are treated as sexual objects, not to mention in relationships with grown men probably twice their age. It raises a lot of questions.”

“Yes.” Lolita nodded. “Not like us Shinigami who are fortunately enough to have curves and maintain a highly diet.”


The caller, who was still on the line, went on. “Well I don’t mind it if the loli is at least cool, or something.”

“We nerds call that Badass Adorable.” Lolita replied. “People throw that word around too much nowadays. There used to be a time when you had to earn that. Like Ruby, she earned it.”

“And how does she earn it?” Pandora asked.

“She’s got blonde hair, pigtails, uses kiddie words more often than she should, her personality can pretty much be summed up as fun personified, rarely gives up on things regardless of the abuse she gets from people and nature in general, Still plays DDR for some reason, and has managed to make attack patterns specifically for certain songs she happens to be listening to. I think its justified in this case.”

“I see your point.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much some of the reasons Ruby is the most popular on your show.” The caller replied. “That and the whole naïve and innocent thing, which has changed quite a lot, but people don’t seem to mind.”

“Yeah.” Lolita said, before he could go on. “Well that’s all we have time for, bye!” Lolita and Pandora waved to the camera in unison, complete with stock expressions.
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« Reply #408 on: 18 December, 2011, 05:24:52 pm »

http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=N3Gl0HobRVI
« Last Edit: 18 December, 2011, 05:26:57 pm by Sena Kashiwazaki » Report Spam   Logged

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« Reply #409 on: 20 December, 2011, 12:45:34 pm »

http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=juZUamDMITA
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« Reply #410 on: 25 December, 2011, 04:02:51 am »

real post this time

On the planet known as Hell it was a typical mean-spirited and cruel year,
but fuck that shit, Christmas was nearly here.
In the midst of the Devil’s most extravagate, exceptional castle which he called a home,
A beautiful, magnificent, elegant and intelligent pink haired girl, sat in her room, all alone.

This wonderful girl had been reading up on the many important aspects of Christmas, like food and presents,
Remembering the one time in the past during that other Christmas chapter which really didn’t make much sense.
That old bastard who called himself Santa Claus denied such a wonderful demon her presents, he truly didn’t deserve to call himself by that name.
So she decided, screw that stingy old faggot, she will instead just beat him at his own game!

She would deliver a wide range of presents to her loved ones, people she once and still did consider enemies, and to others in general,
But getting that many presents would require tons of money, so where would she possibly acquire it all?
So she visited her dad during work to ask for a shitload of money,
Which he gave her, I have no extra rhyming joke which may be informative or funny.

“So what kinds of presents should I get for my friends and family?” The demon said, clearly musing.
She later stormed the streets, picking a ton of gifts at the stores of her choosing.
Now all she had to do was wrap them up and give everyone else a big surprise,
“When they see what presents I get them, they won’t believe their eyes!”

Having wrapped up the presents, Ivy contacted Poison and told him to hurry back, post-haste.
Surely the time to put this plan into action shouldn’t just go to waste.
He arrived at her room, and saw her wearing a Santa suit, she was ready to get started.
Poison sighed deeply and then he simply uttered, “This is retarded.” 

“Fool!” She declared, giving him the pointy finger. “My current appearance does not matter!”
The green haired boy asked, “So is this an evil scheme or for a good cause?”, and she replied, “The latter.”
He decided not to ask further on the details concerning this event,
The night was still young, so off they went!

Ivy contacted her old pet Nookie, chatting crap about means justifying the ends,
So he did her a favour and called up some of his old friends.
They lined themselves up in front of her ship, the view similar to a slay,
Though Ivy would have to re-paint the ship, she shrugged and said, “Well what the hey.”

She re-painted over the black paint with a red and white color scheme, with the utmost care,
She glanced over at the Sega logo still on the side and nodded, “Yep, its still there.”
I shall take a moment to explain the point of that, so listen up, yo.
It’s a reference far back to the middle of chapter 1, the more you know.

Ivy asked Poison to put on an elf costume which she just happened to have,
At first he was reluctant, but he reconsidered an-

“No, I didn’t.” Poison replied to narrator, turning to face whatever direction the voice was coming from.

Poison, feeling guilty about refusing his master’s Christmas wish,
Decided to put on the outfit-

“I’m pretty sure I didn’t.” Poison replied once more.

A costume change, a jumpcut, and they were now in the slay, ready to go,
To be the most demonic Santa ever, ho ho ho!
Poison wasn’t pleased with this bullshit, he gave this compassionate narrator an evil stare,
But since I can’t be reasoned with or tortured, I really don’t care.

They arrived at a training site, high above where Rosie and Leo were at,
They threw some presents down and soared off within five seconds flat,
Ignoring the presents for the moment, Rosie began to look around,
She turned to Leo and asked, “Am I the only one hearing that sound?”

Ivy dumped a present or two outside Amber’s place, the bitch who regularly did smut,
Ever since maturing and rising in power she really has become a slut.
“Should I give presents to other demons?” Ivy wondered, thinking of those poor unfortunate souls,
Then she remembered, “Nah, most demons are fucking assholes.”

They soared throughout space, far and wide to old places she had once seen,
She could have just gone back home instead, but that would be mean.
They flew through the planet which called itself Heaven,
Dropping presents and receiving thanks for the good will which was given.

Proceeding to her once personal planet of operations and her secondary turf,
The next stop was the planet known as Earth.
On the list of people she would decide to deliver presents too-
“So you’re actually going down chimney’s?” Poison asked. Ivy replied, “Not me, you.”

The first stop were the young, odd and inexperienced Loli Rangers,
Providing gifts which they could use during their many future dangers.
Next on the list was the mad scientist, Omar, one guy they don’t actually like,
If he didn’t like the present, whatever, he could just go take a hike. 

Adol was a sick, twisted son of a bitch who lived in a eerie abandoned town,
But maybe a thoughtful present or two could turn his (supposed) frown upside down.
Another bizarre individual was Masterman, who was pretty beast-masterful,
“He’s lucky to even receive any presents.” Ivy said. “Just any at all.”

Through some rather complicated means, Poison was able to locate Willard, Lord of the Shrubs,
Even the dark one himself could not escape Christmas presents, despite him being harder to reach outside those Evil Council clubs.
There were a few others which were brought to my attention,
But you probably already know, so it doesn’t really need a mention.

Oddly, as they flew by a rooftop they noticed Lolita down below wearing a reindeer outfit,
Without a single word, she handed them 3 presents. 2 for them, 1 for another, that’s it.
Entrusting her to deliver this present was somewhat of a shock, even if she was on the ball,
But Ivy knew just how to deal with such an unusual request, by using a dimensional portal.

The present reached the abrasive and obsessive Shinigami, Pandora, before she knew it,
“What the hell could this be?” She wondered. “Some clothes? Some money? A weapons kit?”
What she had received was a photo album of her times with Lolita, treasured memories of the past,
The hate and psychotic tendencies she once had were somewhat diminished at last.

Ivy and Poison had now finished up, there couldn’t be anyone they possibly forgot,
But something ahead was charging straight at them, be careful you guys, it looks like a homing shot.
It was a certain familiar angel who stopped close by as the slay landed,
She wore a green fluffy suit, and a curly moustache, it wasn’t very clever handed.

Before Ruby could come up with some bullshit to extend the length of this chapter,
Ivy approached the foolish angel before she opened her mouth and nonchalantly slapped her,
“We’ve had a lot of history together, even though your presence I would regularly condescend,
But you still kept going, whatever the cost, so this one is for you, my foolish friend.”

Ruby was stunned, she called her a friend, she had no idea what to say,
What happened? It seems that Ivy’s heart grew three sizes today-

“No it didn’t.” Ivy replied, turning to the narrator. “it’s a one-off.”

Through a series of Hey’s, Hi’s and promises in-between,
They greeted each other on this holiday, the last one being Halloween,
Ruby chose not to answer the deal with the costume and then she was on her way,
Around that time the real Santa Claus arrived, in his signature slay.

“Well, well, look who it is.” He said, with a jolly smile.
It really had been quite a while,
Partially taking over his job, Ivy somewhat expected him to throw some kind of fit,
Though he really just looked like he was getting too old for this shit.

Santa got back in his slay, ready to go back to work.
Before he did he actually gave them both a present, because he didn’t want to seem like a jerk.
“Say hi to Lucifer for me.” He said as he left, didn’t matter what the details were,
She waved goodbye, turned to Poison and asked, “Who the hell is Lucifer?”

He ignored her stupidity and got back in the ship, but Ivy missed something he did not,
All this time she had not given her servant, Harry Johnson a present, she must have forgot-

“Uh, no I didn’t forget.” Ivy replied, turning to the narrator once more. “It would have had no meaning to do it earlier, a quiet peaceful time like this would make more sense, don’t you think?”

Yes, yes, very well. May I continue with my narration?

“Yes, you may.”

Ivy poked Poison in the back and handed him a present as he turned around
But he declined, “I don’t need a present, my happiness has already been found.”
The air was freezing cold and the wind was awfully breezy,
Ivy groaned, “What you just said was pretty damn cheesy.”

And so ended a rather odd transition from a very typical night,
Someone else could also win a odd transition, but only if the price is right.
Some time later after they had finally arrived home,
There were a ton of presents under a dying old tree, which they couldn’t have known.

The presents Rosie and Leo received were some outrageous S&M gear,
Whatever their personal fetishes were, in Hell, they had nothing to fear.
Amber got a stylish fire themed outfit which was befitting a demon lord and not skimpy,
She was thankful simply for the fact that it didn’t look wimpy.

The Loli Rangers awoke to have received 5 brand new suits,
Which came with a stylish matching helmet to boot.
What Omar received was a CD track of sinister themes,
He could possibly use it as inspiration during some evil schemes.

Adol got a new cardboard box, because his current one was pretty outdated,
He didn’t use it that much, but it wasn’t a gift he hated.
Masterman was given a pair of neon red shades, those haters don’t even know.
“Those shades are whack.” One henchwoman said. He promptly slapped her. “Shut yo mouth, hoe!”

Willard received two tickets to a horrific paradise, something which he might yearn
So he brought along his equally creepy eldritch girlfriend, I wonder how soon they will return.
What Ruby got was well received, and she could clearly tell,
And what she got was really too much for this foolish angel.

Ivy also had a present for Damien, which she gave him after coming back,
To make up for some negative traits she may currently lack.
Her friends and family sat down around the dead tree together,
While some sat on the furniture, made from hard leather.

But what’s this? There were still more presents to share!
No other Christmas could possibly compare.

Rosie looked around a little more. “Seriously, can anyone else hear that voice?”

“Just shut up and open your presents.” Ivy replied.

And so we end this unintentionally long and bare bones chapter, about a Christmas unracially white,
Were doing it, man, were making this HAPEN RIGHT
As this viewpoint zooms out far, and out of sight,
I wish you all happy holidays, a merry Christmas, and to all a good night.
« Last Edit: 25 December, 2011, 04:04:23 am by Sena Kashiwazaki » Report Spam   Logged

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« Reply #411 on: 01 April, 2012, 12:15:25 pm »

Happy April Fools day, guys.
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« Reply #412 on: 01 April, 2012, 04:49:25 pm »

Damn.... Got me all the way to this topic too....

And yet I smile....
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« Reply #413 on: 01 April, 2012, 06:21:54 pm »

Deep down you knew what was coming.
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« Reply #414 on: 01 April, 2012, 08:22:14 pm »

And man, did it come.
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« Reply #415 on: 01 April, 2012, 09:54:06 pm »

I came hard.
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« Reply #416 on: 02 April, 2012, 10:57:36 am »

So I have come to this....
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« Reply #417 on: 04 April, 2012, 01:26:59 pm »

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« Reply #418 on: 24 June, 2012, 09:39:45 pm »

post. may contain strong language and limited vocabulary

TMEDCE: Original Vintage Add-on

As is the norm of having typical chapter settings, we join our demonic protagonists on the planet “Hell”, supposedly. In Poison’s room, he was reading a comic beside a desk in complete silence. From out of nowhere, Ivy burst into the room yelling, “Dramatic Entry!” as she fly kicked the door open. Poison moved back as she flew in and Ivy landed on the bed further back.

“So what’s up?” Poison asked, closing the comic.

Ivy smiled confidently, as if she was explaining an evil scheme. “You may be happy to know that I have received some tickets to invite anyone of my choosing to a special amusement park for the day. So…” She pointed at him. “Come my loyal servant! Let us ride the go-karts, experience the loop-de-loops of the rollercoaster, the consistent spiralling teacups, get extremely wet on the water rides, and eat a whole assortment of junk foods until we puke!”

There was silence for a few moments, then Poison turned away from her, opened his comic again and replied with a simple, “Nah.”

Ivy smile faded and she was felt confused. “Nah? What do you mean, “Nah?”

“No thank you, not interested, do not want, nope.avi. Nah.”

“…But why?”

“Well it sounds like a cliché harem anime kinda situation.”

“You always say that.”

“Well it’s true a lot of the time. Besides I‘m gonna be doing stuff with Damien later so I can‘t go. Couldn‘t you just ask Rosie and Amber?” 

“What stuff is this?”

“Y’know, stuff.”

Ivy got down from the bed, walked over to him and stared while Poison avoided eye contact, this went on for five minutes before she stopped. “Fine, I’ll just go ask them then.”

And so Ivy travelled from her house to Amber’s villa-like house which shall be exempt from explanation and she kicked in the front door then began looking around. “Hey, Amber, Rosie, you here? You’re not sleeping naked again, are you?” Ivy kicked open the door and found out they were sleeping rather naked, but she was in no way shocked by this, so this must be a normal thing they do. “Wake up, guys.” She walked over to Rosie’s side and lightly slapped her. “Get up.”

“Stop slapping me.” Rosie replied softly, shoeing her away with her eyes still closed.

“I’m gonna keep slapping you till you get up.” Ivy said as she proceeded to do so.

Rosie was up within moments, still tired and rather annoyed. She punched Amber’s arm as she said, “Hey, Ivy is here.”

Amber yawned as she slowly sat up, having clearly gotten a good night’s sleep compared to Rosie. “Good morning, Ivy. What brings you here?”

“Yeah, morning. Anyway, hurry and get dressed, guys. I got some tickets so we’re going to an amusement park.”

“Where did you get the tickets from?” Rosie asked.

Ivy went silent for a moment. “Uhh…Katie.”

Amber shook her head in disappointment. “Not Krazy Katie, Ivy, you know you shouldn’t be talking to her.”

“Hey, she’s not ‘Krazy’, alright? She may have a few screws loose but she still means well.”

“She’s caused a lot of problems in a past, unintentional or not, like that whole body swapping fiasco.”

“Are you honestly saying that wasn’t at least a little funny?”

“Maybe for you, not for everyone else.”

“Anyway…” Rosie spoke up, getting their attention. “What’s the name of this place?”

Ivy looked at the tickets. “Says its called “Tentacle Land.”

“This isn’t sounding very good.” Rosie replied.

Ivy looked closer at the tickets. “Wait, a word’s been scribbled out here after tentacle, can’t read it but I think it begins with ‘R’.”

“This is sounding kinda bad.”

“So how many people are coming?” Amber asked.

“It’s just us three today.” Ivy replied.

“Now it’s sounding even worse!” Rosie exclaimed.

“Stop being so worried, Rosie, we’ll be fine.” Amber said.

“Yeah,” Ivy agreed. “It’s just for today. We’ll be fine, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“Not much until you just said that.” Rosie replied. “I can tell today is going to be a disaster…”

And so, Ivy waited outside while Rosie and Amber got ready to go. She parked her ship near the entrance and awaited their arrival. Rosie came out in her usual attire of a spider themed tank top and blue jeans, while Amber wore a red woolly buttoned jumper and a black skirt.

“That outfit,” Ivy began. “It’s surprisingly-”

“Rather fashionable?” Amber said with a smile.

“-Not slutty.”

“I thought so too.” Rosie added.

“Oh, screw you guys.” Amber said before getting on the ship.

As they were ready to go, someone tapped Ivy on the shoulder. She turned to see Gold, the black and gold patterned robot who chose to live with them after Dawn had ‘vacated’ their dimension. “May I come?”

“Oh, Gold, I almost forgot you live with us now.”

“Yes, I did too.”

After a few moments of silence, Ivy let her on and then she got in too and shut the door before taking off towards Earth. The inside was rather spacious as you would expect, and had neon green lighting to brighten up the area. They were all silent for a short while, at one point Rosie stared at Gold who stared back in response. Rosie then turned away and asked, “So how many tickets do you actually have, Ivy?”

“Like eight of them.”

“If that was the case I could have brought one of my other demon lord friends.” Amber said.

“Well you most likely would’ve invited that one polite chick who always has her eyes closed. She creeps me the fuck out and once said, “She expects great things from me.” I have no idea what the hell that means.”

Amber shrugged. “Yeah, guess I’d agree, she is a little weird.”

Gold raised her hand. “Is it okay for me to have a personality on this trip?”

“Yeah, whatever.” Ivy replied.

Gold turned to Rosie. “May I ask a question? Alright. Why did you two take so long to get ready?”

“They were sleeping naked.” Ivy replied again. “And together as well. I don‘t really get it.”

“I’m just used to sleeping naked, okay.” Amber said. “Been going it since I was a kid.”

“Amber’s place is just naturally rather humid, so I get sweaty if I sleep with my clothes on when I’m there.” Rosie explained.

“So are they like Bert & Ernie?” Gold asked.

“Exactly.” Ivy nodded.

“No!” Rosie yelled. “’Exactly.’ nothing, that’s completely untrue and I’m totally straight!”

“I’m sure I could find something on my cameras to disprove that.”


“Yep. All over my house, had them for ages. In almost every room, expect my parents room.”

“…Does that include the bathroom?”


“So yesterday morning in the shower, did you-”

“Yeah, I saw it.”

After a few moments of silence, she then asked, “So what did you think?”

“I was sceptical at first but it ended up being surprisingly entertaining.”

“…I can take another shower at your place tomorrow if you want.”

“I look forward to it then.”

After another few moments of silence, Rosie then added, “Still totally straight though.”

“Y-yeah, same here. No homo tendencies.”

The rest of the way there was in silence. A little later they arrived at the car park right outside the theme park, which just like the tickets, had a word in-between ‘Tentacle’ & ‘Land’ that was removed by paint, as well as a dozen blow-up balloons flowing about in the wind to act as tentacles. As they left the ship, Ivy locked it and said, “Okay, remember where we parked, guys.”

Gold tapped her on the shoulder as they walked. “Ivy, have you told the others about the upgrades?”

Ivy gasped. “Oh right, I almost forgot!” She turned to Rosie and Amber. “Hey guys, hold on, check this out!”

Ivy stepped aside and nodded to Gold. Gold’s left arm then slowly transformed into a neon blue proton cannon. She fired out small yellow energy balls as Ivy spoke, “What you see here is a proton cannon I built into her arm, it can fire generic energy bullets, as well-” Gold charged the cannon until she began glowing black & blue, then fired a large blue energy ball into the sky, “As that. I find it to be rather nostalgic. There‘s also the standard assault rifle, sniper rifle and shotgun all built in due to extra capacity.” Ivy said as Gold quickly alternated between the three.

Following that she displayed swords inside the metal arms which were retractable, mini rocket launchers from compartments inside her left and right shoulders, and a built-in iPod with surround sound speakers. This obviously went on for quite a while.

“While you two may want to spend all day talking about all this stuff, can it wait another time?” Amber asked.

“Very well.” Gold replied.

Since they already had tickets they were able to go straight in. The theme park inside looked relatively normal, aside from the many tentacled monsters roaming around, though there were many other humans around who didn’t act like anything was unusual. While in Rosie’s case, she felt rather nervous from the many monsters wondering around.

“You seem a little ‘tense’, want me to help with that?” Amber asked as she stared at Rosie.

“No thanks, I’m fine. It’s just that the atmosphere of this place creeps me out. So many of those ’things’ wondering around makes me uneasy. The look of them is so weird. Like, they have a hard circular pink creamy centre, covered by thin layers of pink and purple of spaghetti, covered further by bigger strings of spaghetti with two big tentacles on each side to act as ‘arms’, and some eyes and a mouth thrown in there somewhere.”

“Sounds like a food.” Ivy commented. “But what do you expect them to do? Take the forms of moe anime girls so they won’t creep you out? Also, what you said was quite racist.”

“I had no idea she was such a racist.” Amber shook her head in disgust.

“I always had my suspicions.” Gold added.

“I don’t mean it like that, guys.” Rosie said, then turned to Gold and added, “And you barely even know me. Still, you gotta remember I‘m not like you guys. I was actually human once, and I started at level 1 as a vampire and had to spend ages working my way up the ladder to eventually be known as a tyrant vampire.”

“Tyrant vampire?” Amber asked.

“Yes, I was a much different person back then. I had many followers, I regularly had vampire hunters show up, some weak, some strong, some I had on-and-off relationships with. I was evil, cunning-”

“Were you slutty?” Gold asked.

“Of course. Being a strong female vampire normally requires you to wear rather revealing clothing. You know, the type that Amber usually wears.” Ivy and Gold nodded, fully understanding what she meant.

“That’s not funny.” Amber said, glaring at her.

“Anyway, that’s how things were, then I eventually met you guys, got beaten up by Poison and we became friends. Also as a result I became nicer, and gained common sense.”

“I know the feeling.” Amber replied. “I wasn’t always like this. I used to be a "slutty bitch", basically. The bad kind of succubus, with many minions at my beck and call…then I got beat up by Damien and decided to change my ways.”

“Huh.” Ivy said, thinking about it. “Maybe I could beat up someone in the future and make them a nicer person as a result. Anyway, back to the previous topic, you gotta suck it up, Rosie. These guys are like bullies, they’re more likely to come after you if they know you’re afraid of them.”

“Speaking from experience?” Amber asked.

“No, I just know people. Also, you never wanna get grabbed by one of those four big tentacles they have. Especially around the leg, if you do just reach around and cut it off quick, it’s a lot harder to get away if more than one grabs you.”

“Speaking from ex-”

“No. No experience, damnit! I’ve just seen movies about this stuff. Mock it all you want but its good to know.”

“Were these “cartoon movies” by any chance?”


“You don’t even know what their species is called, do you?” Rosie questioned her.

“Of course I do, they’re called Aterlilics.”

“I don’t even know whether that’s BS or not…”

“So what are we going to do?” Gold asked, referring to rides.

Moving on from endless amounts of text to small amounts of plot, they decided to first try out one of the more important rides: The rollercoaster, which I have not given a name, because I didn’t think that far ahead. As they waited in the queue, Gold turned to Rosie and said, “Is it alright if I ask you a few questions? Alright, here I go…”

“Would be nice of you waited fo-”

“Since vampires are technically undead and all, naturally certain bodily functions would stop working. In that case, can vampires give birth?”

Rosie backed up, stunned that she would ask that. “Wo-woah! Where the hell did that come from?”

“Is it too personal?”

“Well, I guess not, and yes, it is actually possible, though rather difficult due to many factors.”

“Alright, say that someone was turned into a vampire as a kid, could they eventually develop as they got older?”

“Well, normally you can’t, but there are ways around that.”

“Going back to my original question on bodily functions, are vampires still able to get ‘wet’?”

“…I’m not answering any more questions.”

“But why?”

“They’re too personal now. Also, I have a question for you, Gold, was it?”

“Call me Goldia.”


“It’s more feminine. I’ll quickly change it so you don’t forget.” Goldia said as she did so.

“So yeah, before we even got to this place, Ivy was really eager to show off a whole bunch of upgrades she gave you, but I can’t help but notice that she kinda treats you like some dress up doll. Like, “Pimp my Robot Friend" type stuff.”

“I prefer Transformations action figure myself, besides, she hasn’t done anything I didn’t want her too. I gave her a blueprint of my interior design, and it was me who actually gave her most of the ideas. She wanted to try including most of those things, and she was surprisingly gentle while working on me too. Plus all those upgrades felt really good when they were inserted into my systems.” Goldia looked away as if she were blushing.

“Well sorry I asked.”

So after a 20 minute long wait they finally got to the front of the queue. After that ride they went on a water ride where pictures were taken right before the big drop at the end, which Ivy actually bought later on in a shop right outside the exit. This was followed by another water ride, except with bubbles, and another which was basically a rail shooter.

Afterwards they took a break to eat and sat at a table outside a shop. Unlike some of the other places, this area was mostly filled with Aterlilics, most of which were watching them, but Ivy didn’t seem to notice. Ivy left for a moment and walked past all the tables to the shop, which also had a Aterlilic behind the till. She came back a minute later with 3 red ice lollies which of course were rather phallic. She handed one each to Amber, Goldia and then Rosie.

“What about you?” Rosie asked. 

“Nah, I’ve sucked off like over half a dozen of them today and my mouth’s kinda sore at the moment.”

“To this day I still wonder whether or not you’re intentionally doing that.”

“Doing what?”


There was silence for a short while until Amber randomly said, “Y’know, I don’t really like how lesbians are treated in anime sometimes.”

“Yeah.” Ivy began. “They don’t really act like lesbians. Just girls who have one friend they like a little too much and hate anyone who comes between them.”

“Its always played out like they’re just going through a phase.”

“Totally. It’s like, “I love this chick but as soon as some dick shows up, this bitch can sit and spin. I need to get some dicks in my mouth ASAP.”

“While I agree, I don’t think that last part usually happens.”

“Maybe it doesn’t, but its implied.”

Rosie looked around nervously. “Uhh, Ivy, you probably shouldn’t be talking about that kind of stuff.”

“What? Don’t try and stifle me!” Ivy replied, getting louder. “All I’m saying is that if some bitch is a lesbian, she shouldn’t suddenly turn around and start sucking dick!”

“I’m gonna leave in a second.”

“Just saying, lesbians have no reason to suck dick.”

“I’m out.” Rosie said as she quickly left the table and walked off. After a little while of silence, Goldia simply nodded to Ivy and took off after Rosie.

Amber and Ivy got up and started walking around a bit later. Ivy was talking about nonsense as usual.

“I’m tired of these stupid circumstances I usually find myself in. I don’t like having to fight ‘Final bosses’, y’know? I’d rather be a final boss.”

“Final boss?” Amber said, raising an eyebrow.

“Y’know, the guy behind all the bad stuff. That dude you beat to stop the ultra death ray 3000, that one **** who’s castle starts crumbling down after you beat him. I had more fun playing the villain, especially against that foolish angel. Now I just wanna enjoy time with the people I know, settle down-”

“Have a baby.” Amber added.

“Whoa…” Ivy replied, backing up slightly.

“What? That’s what it sounded like you were saying. So anyway, why isn’t Ruby here today?”

“Doing her stupid ‘superhero’ crap as usual. Not that I care or anything.”

“Huh. Anyway, the villain thing isn’t really you. You seem to genuinely like helping people, and you don’t really hurt others for no reason so I think the whole good thing is totally you.”

Ivy gave her a blank stare while she talked and then simply said, “I’ve killed people you know.”

“Well I didn’t say you were all good, lets not kid ourselves now.”

At that moment, as if right on cue, Goldia ran over to them and said, “Rosie seems to have been kidnapped.”

Not to be fazed by this news, Amber said, “What happen?”

“Someone set her up the something…I didn’t see it myself. Anyway, come, look at this.” She said, opening a small digital screen on her arm. Ivy and Amber crowded around, and were shown a Nyan cat video.

“Uhh, Gold, do you have any info about Rosie by any chance?” Ivy asked.

“Yes, I can track her, so lets go.” She said before running off. As they ran around, Amber asked how she was able to track her, to which she replied, “I took a sample of her blood earlier today just in case.” They didn’t bother to ask whether she did the same to them.

They stopped around the back of a shop in the far left corner of the theme park, where the shop owner was currently on break. Goldia tapped on three random tiles around the back and a trapdoor opened up, how she knew this was unknown but they followed right behind her. The inside was dark, rather damp and looked like the remains of an underground mining area. They walked through these hollow hallways, and walked, and then walked some more.

Suddenly, more walking ensued, and then a large group of Aterlilics appeared from across the gaping pit in the front of them. Speaking in their own language which others wouldn’t understand, but Ivy knew the language. “They’ve apparently kidnapped a lot of people here. They wanna hand over some of them to this ‘collector’ guy, whoever the hell that is.”

“You can understand them?” Amber asked.

“Of course, I lived with one. Nookie, remember?”

“Oh right.”

One of the rocks Ivy was hiding behind tipped over slightly, which got the attention of one of them, who alerted the others to their location. They pulled out laser blasters and started firing. Goldia turned to them and ask, “Is it alright if I go FPS mode?”

“Fine, whatever.” Ivy shrugged. “Just don’t get killed.” Ivy and Amber ran on ahead, charging through half of them just with brute force while Goldia was gunning the others down.

One Aterlilic wearing a generic green hat was standing in a big room by a steel door with a walkie-talkie in his hand. It suddenly started going off as massive amounts of destruction was heard in the background, “Holy fucking shit, sarge!”

“What? What’s going on down there?!”

“There’s these two bitches, came right the fuck out of nowhere! One of ‘em’s riding this big fuckin’ horse and it’s on fire! Tentacles pass right through that shit. The fuck? Now there’s some, big-ass motherfucking fiery bodybuilding monster with big fucking horns fucking shit up! Fuck it, game over, man. I’m done. Now they’re splitting up. That horse is clearing out sectors A1-A4 and is already speeding right through the B sectors. That other bitch is tearing through the main gates, she’s coming for you, sarge, she’s coming for you!” After some explosions in the background the connection cut out.

“It’s just as I figured, the raging demon.” Moments later, all the lights in the room went out. From across the room, the monster could only see two glowing red eyes, which slid towards him as if that person was wearing rollerskates. The figure inflicted 33 swift strikes upon him within the span of 4 seconds, leaving the monster as a pile of blood and organs when the lights came back on. Ivy turned to the steel door and just blasted it open.

Inside most of the walls were covered with massive amounts of blood and there were piles of bodies all over the place. A little ahead she spotted Rosie who was busy sucking the blood out of an Aterlilic, and quickly dropped the monster as she noticed Ivy. “Oh, you guys came to get me?”

“Well of course, after all, we’re friends.” As Rosie smiled at her, she then said, “Besides, I still haven’t seen your special ‘thing’ in the shower yet.” As they laughed for a few moments, Ivy abruptly stopped to say, “No homo, by the way.”

“Uh-huh.” Rosie replied, suddenly stopping too. “Since you’re here, you can help me save the others further in.” She said as she dragged Ivy along.

“Aww, can’t we come back next month or something?”

“Don’t be an asshole, Ivy. We’re already here, so let’s wrap it up.”

“Fair enough.” Ivy shrugged and then leaped onto Rosie’s back and pointed ahead. “Alright, let’s go!” Rosie decided not to say anything and simply moved on. She ran along the narrow passages up ahead while Ivy blasted any tentacled monsters in their path like it was something out of a shmup, as well as rescuing any people they came across.

“So you still haven’t explained why you ended up down here…” Ivy said.

“Well I was hungry and this guy said he knew a good place to eat, and he looked suspicious but I gave him the benefit of a doubt and trusted him.”

“Even though you were going down a trapdoor?”

“Well you never know…

“And do you mean hungry hungry or blood hungry?”

“What’s the difference?”

“One’s messier than the other.”

The long string of destruction in their path was quickly picked up upon by the other Aterlilics up ahead, who began to appear more in waves riding things such as small ships and helicopters with guns attached, which were easily dispatched like the others before them. The path ahead began to get less rocky and more constructed from machinery as they progressed. Up ahead Rosie noticed a large cannon set up with half a dozen Aterlilics standing around it. It was preparing to fire as they approached the area.

“So what’s the plan?” Rosie asked.

“Just brute force it, these guys are like 2 story arcs too weak.” And with that, Ivy covered them in flames as Rosie sped up. When the cannon fired a massive blue energy beam, Rosie charged straight through it with ease, jumped and punched right through the cannon itself, making it explode and knocking down the monsters.  As she landed and ran off, Ivy turned around and gave them the middle finger as Rosie turned a corner. A little further along, more monsters riding flying bikes began to emerge from various doors on the side. While Rosie was evading their fire and Ivy continued to blast them, she got a phone call. “Hello?”

“Hey, Amber here, I got Gold too, you found her yet?”

“Yeah, we’re going a bit further in.”

“How far in are you, I see some destroyed cannon just further up ahead here.”

“Well you’re not far behind then, guess I’ll be seeing you soon.”

Rosie approached one of the flying bikes further ahead, the monster swinging its arms at her as she got close, but missed as Rosie jumped and hit it with a roundhouse kick, knocking it off the bike. Another drove up beside her and attempted to stab her with a sword but dropped it as Rosie clawed his face. Ivy quickly picked it up as it was dropped and threw it at one monster behind them, hitting its eye. Rosie grabbed the wobbling bike beside her, Ivy lit it on fire and then Rosie threw it ahead at another bike which made it explode.

As if following video game rules, 3 large Octopus shaped ships showed up along with several more Aterlilics riding bikes. Conveniently, Amber arrived at the scene on her flaming horse and Goldia flew up right beside her. Gold sniped several of the monsters off their bikes while Amber pulled out a large battleaxe and scraped it along the inside of one ship as she passed it, and then Gold sniped the driver once she got a clear shot.

One of the Aterlilics on a ship ahead took out a rocket launcher, aimed at Rosie and fired. Rosie dodged the first shot with a Pete Townshend slide, leaped into the air and knocked back the second shot with a kick, which blew up as it flew back, and then punched a hole through the driver as they landed on the ship. Rosie upped the speed of the ship and jumped off as another Aterlilic on the opposite ship took out a rocket launcher as well. Rosie grabbed onto the bottom of the other ship and ran along it, with Ivy firing a large energy wave which tore the ship in half as they leaped off it. They moved on as the previous ship crashed into a wall when a turn came up and blew up just like the rest.

After many more sections, they made it to the final room which was rather empty expect for some reinforced glass covering a room where one Aterlilic sat in complete darkness. As the four of them stopped, Goldia brought out a small fire extinguisher and sprayed it over Ivy and Rosie since they were still on fire. Rosie threw Ivy off her back and pointed at the monster. “You’re behind this, aren’t you? What’s the deal?”

“You people wouldn’t understand. Hell, I don’t even know who you people are to come barging in here.”

“Just tag them as I once did.” Goldia said. “The Succubus, the Vampire and the Demon Princess. Or as some demons call them, the Slut, the Straight Man and the Tsundere Loli.”

“That’s not true at all!” Ivy and Amber exclaimed in unison.

“Though I’m not actually a man, I’m fine with what I got, since I’m straight and all.” Rosie shrugged.

“You’re still on about that?” Amber asked.

“So what are you?” Ivy demanded, poking Goldia.


“You can’t just ‘N/A.’”

“But I did.”

“Why you little…”

“Enough!” Said the Aterlilic behind the glass, drawing their attention back. “We are not privileged in any way, the recession has been hard on us, so if we had to kidnap girls to make ends meet, so be it.”

“That’s a pretty lame excuse.” Rosie replied.

“Perhaps but it won’t matter in a minute. You see, the room you’re standing is a special one. Any moment now, an aphrodisiac substance will begin to fill the room, so enjoy your last moments of freedom.” As he finished he then proceeded to do so. After laughing for about 20 seconds, he stopped when he heard Ivy say, “Smells like the cheap stuff, that’s rather insulting in a way.” He was stunned.

“Why are you people unaffected?” He asked.

“I’ve been experimenting with the effects of aphrodisiacs for years. Its amazing the fascinating shit you can know about them such as the side effects, not to mention there’s over 20 different types. This mediocre crap is the bottom of the barrel stuff, seriously.”

He couldn’t believe it. “Just what are you?”

“A former Villain Protagonist.”

Amber then added, “Being a succubus, I already have somewhat of a resistance to that kind of thing, plus I’ve had some experiences with it in the past which I’d rather not talk about.”

As the monster stared at Goldia, she said, “I’m a robot, dude.”

“What about you?” He asked, staring at Rosie.

She shrugged. “I dunno, I’m kinda dead I guess. Maybe your thing’s a bit faulty too.”

“Can we fuck him up now?” Ivy asked.

The monster suddenly went on a rant. “Fuck this, fuck that, fuck him, fuck her. I’d like a fucking large fuck with an extra helping of fuck, keep the fuck. Fuckidy fuck fuck fuck! Do you ever not swear?”

“I’ll swear if I wanna fucking swear, asshole.”

The monster sighed. “Fuck it, you leave me no choice.” He pressed a button, and moments later a massive Aterlilic creature, at least 4 times the size of the others came in right through the wall. They decided not to wait around and simply took off back the way they came. It was no different from the way in, apart from that monster busting through walls unexpectedly whenever it lost them. As they jumped up across an area of rocks, the monster managed to grab Rosie’s leg, but she quickly cut it off as it dragged her down and hit the monster with a dropkick, making it fall before she caught up with the others. They soon made it out onto the surface again. As soon as they thought it was over, the monster burst right through the floor, suddenly appearing to be Godzilla sized now.

The creature roared and began to destroy a carousel, as well as many shops while it looked for them. Goldia turned to Ivy and asked, “Should I summon it?” Ivy sighed, then replied with a nod. From all parts of the galaxy, various large mechanical parts were summoned to one location. Two arms and a left leg from the vacuum of space, the right leg from Ivy’s back yard, the torso from the desert on Earth, the head from the planet Mars, and 3 large scythe parts from the planet Saturn. Those many parts connected to each other on the way over to the theme park and it formed the metallic scythe just as it landed, the mech appearing to be a gigantic robotic version of Ivy.

As Rosie and Amber stared at it, Ivy said, “I call it the I.V-X.”

“What does it stand for?” Rosie asked.

“Nothing, I didn’t think that far ahead.” Ivy flew up and inside a hatch which opened from the top. She had already gotten the monster’s attention, as well as half the people in the park. The monster charged at her while she did the same. As they got close, Ivy moved left a few feet and hit the monster with a clothesline, followed by a leg drop as it fell. Its tentacles grabbed her and threw her off. It then hit her with a beam fired from its large yellow eye, knocking the robot off its feet.

Rosie noticed that Amber had taken off during all this and just went back to watching. Once again, the monster charged at the giant robot. As it got close, Ivy raised its right arm and blinded it with a bright light from its armpit, at which point she hit it with an uppercut. Ivy then noticed a meteor up above heading right towards the area, with Amber standing right on it. She jumped off as it crashed into the monster. Ivy then hit the meteor which was right on top of the monster with a flying elbow, making it roar in pain.

As the monster got up, Ivy lifted the robot’s dress which caught the monster off guard, then fired an energy beam from beneath which sent the monster flying, allowing her to get a juggle combo with her metallic scythe as if it were Tekken. Eventually after getting its ass beat constantly, it decided to unleash a giant energy beam from its mouth, Ivy countered with a beam from the crotch.

Amber stared at Rosie while this went on. “You haven’t even said a word yet.”

“This is too stupid to comment on. I just want it to end.”

And so, Ivy’s crotch beam overpowered the monster’s and caused it to explode from energy overload, splattering blood and guts all over the place. During this, Goldia took the time to drag along the Aterlilic who released the monster that looked like the others as Ivy got rid of her giant mech.

“Anything you’d like to say?” Amber asked him.

“Yes. You bitches talk too much. That’s apparently the joke. You talk way too much.”

They then wrapped him up and threw him in the back of Ivy’s ship as they were going. Rosie looked behind her and asked, “Do we really need to bring him?”

“He needs to be punished, the cruel way.” Ivy replied. “Plus he forced me to do good things, and I hate being forced into doing that.”

“Yeah, these kinds of things always happen.” Amber added.

“Today was fun though.” Rosie said. “We should come back soon.” The others agreed in some way or another, ignoring the colossal amounts of damage and destruction caused to the place as they left.
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« Reply #419 on: 03 September, 2012, 03:49:23 pm »

I had no idea this was gonna be anywhere near this long, but apparently it was.

TMEDCE: Orange Vindictive Aroma, P1

It was a bright and lukewarm morning, but since this was the planet “Hell”, that’s considered the norm. Damien was walking with Lolita alongside a beach looking area, as much as you could get to an area looking like one.

“Y’know, we never take the time to admire the scenery around this place, listen to the soothing sounds of kool-aid moving back and forth, and experience that annoying feeling of getting sand in your underwear when its time to go.” Damien said.

“Yes, those things are nice. Except the last one.” Lolita replied.

Damien heard a familiar voice yell his name, which brought a smile to his face as he carried on. “So do you ever miss living in the Underworld?”

“Not particularly. As long as we’re together I’m perfectly fine.”

“Oh you.”

Suddenly, Ivy appeared in the air, attempting to fly kick someone as she yelled, “Dynamic-” She dropped down a few feet away as she paused, turned to her left and punched a boulder as she said, “Entry.” She then turned and pointed at Damien. “You!”

“Yes, me.” Damien replied.

“You ate my strawberry cake that was in the fridge, didn’t you? Don’t you dare deny it!”

“I did, but I can assure it was an honest mistake.” Damien said as he and Lolita carried on walking while Ivy trailed behind as they started walking through crowded areas.

“Lies! Just the other week, I got those sherbet covered muffins which I left on the counter since I had to go do something, and you ate like ¾’s of them.”

“I was hungry. That’s what you get for leaving them there with no note.”

“What about last month when Katie had that party and she had a bunch of goodie bags, and you took like 2/3’s of the sweets in the goodie bag.”

“You’re still mad about that?”

“I wanted that stuff! It had like the old chocolate M&M’s, and those Wonka chocolate bars, you just don’t see that shit much nowadays.”

Damien shrugged. “Meh. Half the stuff wasn’t that great.”

“Not great? That’s it!” Ivy pointed at him. “Damien, I declare war on you!” Damien stopped in his tracks while many demons around gasped at what they heard. One girl leaned towards another and quietly said, “Whisper, whisper, whisper.” The second one then leaned over to a third and whispered, “Rabble, rabble, rabble.”

“Ivy,” Damien began as he slowly turned around. “You realize what this means, do you not?”

“Of course, and just for added measure, if I win, you’re going to crossdress and act like a loving big sister for a whole week.” Many people gasped and turned to Damien.

“Very well, but, if you lose, I shall be allowed to tickle you for 5 minutes, in front of everyone. Do we have a deal?”

Damien held out his hand to shake Ivy’s. After a bit of hesitation, she then did so, glaring at him while he smirked in response. “We’ll discuss the details later today.” They then left in opposite directions.

“Uh, Damien,” Lolita began. “Not that I’m questioning your goal or anything but why did you agree to the terms on just tickling her?”

“I have my reasons, that is all.”

Later on that day, Damien managed to gather a massive crowd of other demons in a spacious area, with the crowd talking amongst themselves as Damien prepared to speak to them, with Ivy standing beside him. Damien cleared his throat as he began. “Good evening, my fellow demons. I have called you here today to notify you that there shall be another war later this week for those who wish to participate.” A lot of demons seemed to be pleased about this news.

“The rules are the same as usual, 500 each side, and it’ll run for 3 days, between the hours 1pm-8pm, any other time you’re free to do as you wish. Unlike a game of team death match, if you die twice, you’re out. For first timers, don’t worry, when you die you’ll come back, might take minutes, hours, possibly a whole day but rest assured you’ll be back. Oh, and if you die, that shit’s gonna hurt so prepare yourself by say, chopping off an arm or impaling yourself with swords or maybe hitting yourself in the nuts repeatedly. My sister and I here shall be the leaders of this particular war. The battlefield has not yet been chosen, but I will keep you updated on the preparations. Good day.” Damien bowed and took his leave.

The other demons promptly left as well. Ivy was walking back home when she heard Rosie call out to her, who was with Goldia. “Ivy, is that true?” Rosie asked. “You seriously declared war on your brother?”

“What of it?”

“You’re going to lose, y’know.”

“No. I. Am. Not! He isn’t so tough, I know I can beat him if I put my mind to it.”

“I believe in you, Ivy.” Goldia replied. “You can do it.”

Ivy hugged her. “Thanks Gold…ia, you’re such a good friend.” She then glared at Rosie. “Why can’t you be more supportive like her?”

Rosie shrugged. “I would be acting out of character.”

“Well it would be a nice change every once in a while. Anyway, you’ll have to excuse me for the moment.” Ivy said before running off.

Damien was walking with Lolita who held a notepad. “They’ve just found a suitable location for the event.” Lolita said.

“Excellent. That was surprisingly fast. I’ll have to leave the other details to you for a little while, excuse me.” Damien said as he took a left turn.

Poison and Leo were walking down a straight path which looked like something out of a haunted forest.

“So did you finish that game yet?” Poison asked.

“Nah, I think I’m halfway done. Just finished that abrupt car chase segment.”

“Isn’t that shitty sewer level next?”

“And why do you think it’s shitty?”

“Because it’s a sewer level, they’re created to suck the fun out of anything.”

“What about the sewer level in that old TMNT arcade game? Are you saying that sucked too?”

“Well that’s hardly fair, they were surfing. It could have been on the beach and there would have been little difference.”

“So sewer levels suck because most don‘t have any surfing?”

“Well yeah if you wanna go there.”

As they walked they came across someone in a pink bunny costume, sitting on a bench. The person unzipped the top, and revealed herself to be Ivy, who then said, “Wanna do it?”

“Please don’t remind me of that.” Poison replied, cringing. “Can’t believe I actually read the whole thing.”

“Seriously? You’re crazy, man.” Leo said.

Ivy hopped off the bench. “Anyway, enough jokes. I’m here because I need you to join my side and help me beat Damien.”

“You might have to elaborate.” Poison said, clearly confused.

“My sister has never been one to keep things simple.” All three of them turned to their right to see Damien slowly walking down a nearby hill towards them. “What she’s referring to are the current war games that will be starting soon enough.”

“And for that purpose I need Poison to join my team.” Ivy replied.

“Nonsense, he belongs by my side. We’re good friends, are we not?” Damien asked, looking at Poison.

“Well yeah-”

“What about me? You’re my loyal servant, right? We take trips and do all kinds of fun stuff together, don’t we?” Ivy asked.

“I guess that’s true.” He shrugged.

“Do not believe that foolish woman. She is a liar and a whore.” Damien exclaimed.

“That’s kinda harsh, dude.” Poison replied.

“Yeah!” Ivy added.

“Bros before Hoes, Harry, bros before hoes.”

“Damien just wants you to join him to spite me.” Ivy said. “He doesn’t care about you at all.”

“As if you can talk.” Damien replied. “Miss “He’s my personal servant so I can treat him like a dog”, and she sees nothing wrong with this.”

“W-well, I don’t really mean it, it’s just…” Ivy trailed off as she mumbled things under her breath.

“Poison would feel more welcomed on my side.”

“No! He would like my side better!”

Poison and Leo walked off quietly as they continued to agree for a pretty long time. After several minutes of arguing they finally noticed the two had left, and so they left as well.

A little later on, Leo met with Rosie and Goldia asked, “So what’s this war business about?”

“Well, as far as I understand these demons sometimes have these “war games”, which is kinda like team deathmatch, but everyone gets only two lifes. It’s really a long story.” Rosie replied.

“Huh, alright. That sounds interesting, I guess.”

Just then, Ivy showed up. She saw Leo talking with Rosie, then looked around and asked, “Where’s Poison? Is he with you?”

“He said he had to take care of a few things.”

“Huh. Well I gotta make a quick stop somewhere, you guys are free to join me if you wish.” Ivy said, walking towards her ship. The others followed her in and they took off. Ivy informed them that they would be visiting the planet where the Aterlilics actually live for a short period of time.

As they landed on the planet which looked like an apocalyptic wasteland, Ivy said, “Try not to touch anything alien-like. That’s how half those horror things start, people go touching shit they don’t know and how it works.”

“And the other half?” Leo asked.

“People who cause trouble because they’re assholes.”

After a short while of walking, they came across a big village of Aterlilics. One immediately noticed them and pointed as it exclaimed, “Blaaaaaaah!” Which would only be understood in their native language. A bunch of the creatures crowded around the four of them. Ivy held her hands up and simply replied, “Blah.”

“Blah blaaah?”

“Blah. Blah, bu bu, blah.”

“Ahh, blah blah blah.”

They continued to speak to each other as everyone else just stood around and eventually seemed to come to some form of agreement. From out of nowhere, they then heard a familiar voice yell, “Blaaaaaaaah!” at the top of its lungs. Ivy turned to her right to see Nookie charging right at her. The creature tackled her and began to hug her tightly as Ivy pet him. “Yes, yes, I missed you too, Nookie. Just settle down a little.” Nookie got off her and then picked her up with its tentacles and set her down.

“Blah, blaaaah, bla?” Nookie began.

“Blah, blu, blah.” Ivy replied.

“Blah blah blah, blue, bla, bee blah.”

“Blah.” Ivy nodded.

This went on for half a minute before another Aterlilic with big red lips along with two smaller Aterlilics showed up and ran over to Nookie. Ivy turned to her friends and said, “Oh, this is Nookie’s new family, you guys.”

“He’s got a wife and kids?” Rosie asked. “Umm, how do they, umm…actually, never mind.”

Long story short, Ivy cut some kind of a deal with a number of the species and then they left and got back in her ship. As Ivy drove back to her planet, Rosie asked, “So, exactly how did you and Nookie meet?”

With a completely blank expression, Ivy turned and she answered, “He tried to molest me, so I beat him up and took him home.”

After a lengthy period of silence, Rosie then replied, “I should stop asking questions.”

“It’s for the best.”

The next morning, in an unknown area, Damien had visited an area which looked like a church. The inside was rather dusty, and there were rotting corpses scattered along the walls and ceilings. Damien took notice of this, as well as the few heads on spiked poles as he walked along the centre. Entering another room, he encountered Willard sitting at a table eating something. He turned towards Damien as he entered. “Ahh, Damien, what a pleasant surprise.”

“Yeah, nice place you got here.”

“Isn’t it? So what brings you here?”

“Well it’s a bit of a long story, but I may need your assistance for a little while.”

“Very well, I’m assuming this is some personal business?”

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

Back on his home planet, Ivy was standing near a stand where volunteers would come to take part on either side. Along with her were Rosie, Leo and Goldia.

“Alright guys, so what’s the word?” Ivy asked.

“We’re closer to the 500 mark. There’s 313 people helping so far. A majority of them seeming to be people you’ve helped once or so in the past.” Goldia replied.

“Good. So has anyone seen Poison yet?”

Rosie shook her head while Leo replied, “Not since yesterday when we split up.”

Moments later, a teenage boy with unruly turquoise hair, who wore a zipped up red jacket, with matching pants and shoes that had three white stripes going across them, walked up to Ivy. “Hey, I heard about the war, so I figured I would lend a hand, it’s the least I could do.” Ivy looked at him in utter confusion. “It’s me, Jack, remember?” Ivy scratched her head. “You helped me get together with my girlfriend, Jill?” Ivy still looked puzzled. “…Chapter 41?”

“Ooooooh.” Ivy slowly nodded. “I remember now. So how are you two?”

“We’re engaged.”

“Well good for you guys.”

“Yeah, thanks.” He then immediately took off.

“By the way,” Rosie began. “Did you actually read the rules on these war games? There’s some crucial details in there from what I remember.”

“Yes, I did read it, even though it was long unnecessary BS like those terms and conditions which go on for several pages. I find it hard to believe anyone actually reads that crap.”

Goldia turned to Rosie and said, “Remember this moment. Its most likely going to be brought up at some point later on.”

“Well duh.”

“Oh, and Leo,” Ivy said as she finished rambling. “What happened to your whole macho man gimmick?”

“A character shouldn't be defined by a stereotypical gimmick. It limits people, and it can annoy others. People grow, and they develop both mentally and physically. You can’t be tied down to one behavioural attitude forever. What you might think was suitable in the past, you may look back on years later and display disgust at something so different from today. The short version: I just wanna act normal now, that’s all.”

“Hmm…that’s given me quite a bit to think about…”

And at that moment, two figures approached the group from behind. The two were Amber, who was dressed as Black Rock Shooter even down to the flaming blue eye, and another woman beside her who was dressed as Double, the nun from Skullgirls. “Hey guys, what’s up?” Amber asked. As the others greeted them, she then said, “For those who are somewhat new here and haven’t met my friend yet, this is Alice.” Alice took a bow.

“Nice to meet you.” Goldia said, offering a handshake.

“Likewise.” Alice replied, shaking her hand.

“Nice blue flame there.” Ivy said.

“Thanks, I produced it myself.” Amber replied.

“That outfit though, it’s rather-”

“Slutty, right?”

Ivy shrugged. “Well I was gonna say fashionable, but if that’s how you feel…”

“I just don’t get you sometimes…”

“Anyway, just where were you guys?”

“We went on vacation in Miami, then went to a Halloween party. Didn’t you see the pics I sent?”

“There weren’t any orgies in those pics were there?”

“No, not this time.” Amber rolled her eyes.

“Well some stuff happened, so I’ll try to explain it fast.” A minute later, Ivy was done explaining.

Alice clapped her hands. “Sibling rivalry, how wonderful.”

“Huh. We haven’t had a good war game in ages.” Amber replied. She then turned to Alice. “Hey, remember the great Anti-Moe war of 1869?”

“Yes, that one was extremely chaotic, even for me.”

“Anyway,” Ivy began. “I gotta take care of a few things, I’ll see you guys later.” Ivy said as she ran off.

Meanwhile, Damien was currently inside an old dark building where the other Demon Lords were located. He entered a large room where five individuals were sitting round a large table. The first was a long black spiky haired bishounen male, who wore a white buttoned shirt with a popped collar, with a black jacket and pants. Another was a big burly red demon who looked as you would expect demons to look, who wore just a black shirt with beige jeans. The third was a young woman with black hair and long pigtails, who wore a pink shirt with a matching short skirt. The fourth was a young boy with blond hair who wore a standard blue jumper and black jeans. The fifth simply were a light brown teddy bear suit.

The first was reading off a list as Damien entered. “So Tyron has the extra large meat feast,” He said, looking towards the demon-like demon lord. “Two medium pepperoni pizzas, one for myself and one which Toby and Sakura will be sharing.” He continued, looking at the young boy and girl to his side. “And Brian will have a medium mozzarella pizza.”

The man in the teddy bear costume heard up a sign saying, “With anchovies.”

“Yes, with anchovies, if they even do such a thing.”

“Well now,” Damien began. “Didn’t know the demon lords met up just to order pizza.” He got the attention of them, and most of them weren’t pleased to see him.

“State your reason for this visit, Damien, otherwise I may have to kindly ask you to leave.”

“You’ve always been a stubborn one, Blake. Very well, another war games will be going on shortly, and I figured I would need some assistance. What better assistance than some of the demon lords?”

“And why the hell would we bother to help you?” Tyron replied.

“Yeah!” Sakura added. “A smug bastard like you doesn’t deserve our help, and you can’t make us even by force. Besides, you couldn’t take us all on at once anyway.”

“While I would be willing to challenge that opinion, I don’t have the time. My opposition right now is my sister.”

“I personally have no interest in your personal family squabbles, Damien.” Blake said.

“Isn’t that the bitch with the pink hair who thinks she’s so much better than everyone else?” Sakura asked. “She pisses me off. Regularly says nice shit to me, but I know behind that fake smile she’s laughing at me. I just wanna stomp her face into the mud. The same with that stupid green haired asshole too. I’ll kill him next time I see him.”

“T-there’s no need to do that!” Toby replied, shaking his head.

“Hey, isn’t he the same guy who beat you with wrestling moves?” Tyron said before he started laughing.

S-shut up!” She exclaimed. “I was just off-guard, is all. That won’t work on me twice!”

“You should calm down, Sakura. You don’t always need to resort to violence.” Toby said.

“I agree with the boy,” Blake added. “And if you haven’t realized, we’re not interested in whatever it is you’re doing, Damien.”

“Do you simply get off pushing others away, Blake?” Damien asked. “Is this because I’ve beaten most of you guys in the past? Must you hold grudges? Since I hold no personal vendetta towards any of you.” Willard walked in as he talked and took a seat to the left. The others stared at him suspiciously as Damien carried on. “What happened to when war games were about enjoying the experience, regardless of either side? Isn’t that enough?”

“Not for me.” Sakura replied. “One side is led by a total dick, and the other by a complete asshole.” Toby quietly chuckled to himself.

“Which one is which?” Tyron asked, making Toby snort for some reason.

“I’ll tell you what, I’ll let you have whatever you want if you choose to help me out.” Damien said. “As long as its within reason.”

“I’m fine with that.” Tyron shrugged. Brain, who still hadn’t said a word, gave him a thumbs up.

Blake got up and walked past Damien as he said, “Fair enough, I’ll put any personal feelings aside for now, but only for others enjoyment.”

Toby raised his hand before saying, “Um, will Harry be there?”

“Yes but I feel he’s unlikely to be on our side.”

“Oh.” Toby uttered, clearly saddened by this as he walked out.

Sakura leaned in close to Damien and whispered, “Can I really ask for anything?”

“Is it within reason?” She then whispered something into his ear, which generally confused him. “I have no time for your jokes, woman.”

“It’s not a joke! Can you do it or not?”

“Very well, I’ll see what I can do.” He looked over at Willard who simply smiled back at him.

Meanwhile in a somewhat deserted area, Ivy was standing with Goldia who had a notebook in her hand.

“Alright, Gold, I’ll be meeting someone in a bit, so lets hear what you found out.”

“Goldia, anyway, it seems Lolita is arranging most things right now so you might wanna keep tabs on her. Damien has been making even more trips than you have, to where exactly is unknown. Also, word has gotten out about you being unaffected by aphrodisiacs and has been met with amazement, encouragement, confusion, and a bit of anger at those writing fan fiction as this ruins their ideas.”

“I don’t know what that last one had to do with anything but okay…”

“Is it alright if I ask something?”

“Ask away.”

“Am I cute?”



“Goldia, this isn’t th-”

Goldia placed a small pink hat on her head. “How about now?”

“Alright, yes, whatever.”

“Thank you, master.”

“There’s no need to call me that.”


“Don’t call me that one either.”

“My lady?”

“…That one’s okay. So have you thought of a good team name?”

“I’ll read out the list and you tell me what you think of them. First, The Less Evil side.”

“That’s just stupid. True, but stupid.”

“The Anti-Moe alliance.”

“…How does that relate to this?”

“The Assholes.”

Ivy smiled. “I’ll admit, it’s funny, but not what we’re looking for.”

“Ivy and the rest.”

“That’s going a bit too far.”

At that moment, a white ship which looked like a small bat mobile with angel wings flew by and landed. Ruby hopped out in her all black superhero outfit. She waved as she approached the two. “Hey guys, it’s been a while.”

“Indeed it has, foolish angel.” Ivy smiled.

“You still doing that?”

“It ain’t stopping anytime soon.”

“Oh, btw, I took care of that collector guy. Thanks for the tip, you seem to find out about this stuff even though you weren’t interested, weird.”

“It’s just bad luck. It wasn’t hard, was it?”

“Nah. Had to creep around the house a bit and disarm any traps before I confronted him just in case. Never know if these guys have aphrodisiac serums or some crap like that. He was just like those other tentacle dudes. He was all, “Ohh, cute blonde girls are totally my type.” and I was like, “Sorry, big tentacled monsters are totally NOT my type.” even though I dyed my hair black at the time so that’s totally a plothole. Anyway, he tried pulling some kind of trap on me and when he realized I disarmed them all, he called out his goons. I had to go a bit Arkham Asylum on them after that. Ever since that one time I got careless I’ve always been extra careful now when I go after these guys.”

“You ever gonna tell me what happened that one time you fucked up?”

“No, because its embarrassing and no-one must know. You really should join our hero group y’know, you’d fit in well.”

“I already told you I’m not a hero. Nor am I interested in your club where stupid girls do stupid things.”

“I take offence to that. We only have teatime on Wednesdays, and movie night + slumber party on Saturdays. The rest is strictly business.”

“It’s still childish.”

“Yeah, yeah. So what‘s up with you?”

“She started a war.” Goldia replied.


“I declared war on my brother. The war games start in 2 days.” Ivy explained.

“That war games crap again? Can’t you just talk to each other about this?”

“Talking? Fuck that! We’re demons, we solve our problems through violence!”

“You were always pretty stubborn…” Ruby rolled her eyes. “Well, you might wanna try a different outfit for this, right? One of these all black outfits with a cape would be a great fit for you. I happen to have some spares which I haven’t worn so you can take one.” She said, handing her a bag.

Ivy reached into the bag, pulled out the stockings and handed them to her. “Here.”

“What are you doing? The stockings are part of the costume.”

“I don’t need them.”

“But you gotta wear the stockings!”

“You really should, my lady.” Goldia added.

“Quiet you. I don’t want the stockings.”

“You’re so tsun~. Suit yourself but I’m not taking them back.” Ruby noticed Poison from afar walking towards the area while Goldia walked off. “So I guess I should be making my way. Got a call recently that Loli Rainbow came back once again to start trouble.”

“Loli Rainbow?”

“Long story, she kinda died somehow, then came back as Undead Rainbow and made this robotic evil clone of me who was apparently a hermaphrodite. I beat it in a fight, then it challenged me to a race and I won. Gary took care of Undead Rainbow but it seems she’s back again, so we’re gonna go deal with it.”

“You two still work together?”

“Yeah, we’re still partners. It’s been quite different since the whole Pandora’s box fiasco, in a good way, I mean.”

“Ever figure you guys could be more than just partners?”

“You lost me.”


Poison reached them moments later, nodded towards Ruby and said, “Hey.”

“Hi.” She replied, waving back. “Well, I’ve now had my cameo, and I’ve got some stuff to do, so I’ll just leave you two alone. Later.” She ran and jumped in her ship which flew off moments later.

“She’s changed a lot.” Ivy said as she left.

“Yeah, that’s not necessarily a bad thing though.”

“So where’s your boyfriend, Damien?” Ivy asked, turning to Poison.

“It didn’t work out. We’re just friends with benefits now.”


“It’s a joke. You sarcastically said we were gay, so I played along. Then again, Damien already has Lolita, who isn‘t exactly a pushover, so it wouldn‘t be fair for me to help them too.”

“You sure? I don’t want you to feel like you have to help me?”

“Yeah, I’m sure I wanna help you. It’s always been my job.”

“But I don’t want you to think of it as just a job…” Ivy leaned in to kiss him but Poison backed up slightly which annoyed her. “Okay seriously, what’s your deal? Are you in the closet? Is it because I haven’t, umm, “matured” yet? Is it because my dad might find out? Is it because this isn’t a hentai and can’t happen on screen? Is it because of what people might think of you? Or do you just really not like me?”

“Somewhere in the middle, ignoring the first and last one.”

“It’ll happen soon enough, my future self told me when.”


“Yeah, 4 months, 17 days, 9 hours and 38 minutes.”

“What about seconds?”

“That’s asking a bit much of me, geez.”

“You sure nobody will know?”

“Nobody, not my dad, my mom, my brother, not Lolita, not Ruby…” She glanced in a specific direction. “Nobody. And it just so happens there‘s an empty house right here.” Pointing at a blue house to her right.

“I don’t recall that house being there a minute ago…”

“Well its conveniently there now so lets go.” She replied, pushing him into the house which was pretty dark. “Nobody should be able to bother us now.”

Just at that moment, Goldia came crashing right through the window rolled into a ball, landed on her feet and slid for a few seconds before stopping. She turned to the two and asked, “Am I interrupting?”

“Well yes, actua-”

“I have something to show you, my lady.” Goldia said, grabbing her hand and dragging her outside.

“Can’t it wait till later?”

“It’s really important.” She replied as they left.

Meanwhile, Lolita was standing somewhere in the middle of a city with two girls and one boy lined up, the appearance of which is unimportant. She had a microphone and a skeleton cameraman who gave her a signal before she spoke. “This is your host as usual, Lolita, reporting on the recent war games that will be starting in two days from now. I have here lined up is three followers of one side, just to get their views on the matter.” She moved her mic to the first girl. “Why do you support Ivy?”

“She helped me move some stuff into my new apartment last month.”

Lolita moved on to the next girl. “You?”

“She pimped my ship.”

She then moved on to the boy. “And you?”

“She keeps it real.”

“Uh-huh.” Lolita looked at the camera. “And there you have it. Three stupid and utterly pointless opinions.”

Damien and Willard were walking around the area at the time as Damien talked. “You’re not exactly willing to participate in this, are you?”

“Well it would have been nice to inform me of the situation before hand. I’ll see what help I can provide.”

“Sorry about this, a lot of people are just…unreliable.”

“Yes, I’m sure I could tell from just meeting the “Demon Lords”. They seem like a bizarre bunch of misfits.”

Damien received a phone call and as he answered, he immediately asked, “Is it all set up?”

“Yeah, boss, it’s all up and running.”

“You got “those” too?”

“Yep, wasn’t easy but we got them.”

“Good work, I’ll be there soon.” Damien hung up. “I got business.”

“As always.” The two went their separate ways.

The next day, everybody who already wanted to be involved had signed up so both sides were already full. Rosie and Leo were talking by a fountain in the middle of town when Poison met up with them.

“Hey.” Rosie greeted him. “So you finally decided to join us?”

“I always was going to, just had to look into a few things first. Besides, I wouldn’t want to miss this anyway.”

“You just wanna fight Damien yourself, huh?”

“Partially. This will probably be quite chaotic in general, and I’m Chaotic Neutral. This is my shit.”

Amber and Alice were the next to arrive, Alice now wearing her usual long black gothic Victorian style dress. “Ahh, Mr. Johnson,” She began, offering a handshake. “I believe this is my first time meeting you.”

“Oh, nice to meet you, uhh…” He shook her hand.

“Alice.” She finished his sentence. “Alice Moonlight. And the pleasure is all mine.” She finally opened her eyes, which were a dark shade of red and her iris’ were several spiralled black ovals.

“Uhh, you’ve got a bit of  ‘crazy’ in your eye.”

“You’re gonna hurt a maiden’s feelings if you keep saying mean things like that.”

“I’m sorry?”

“You should be, Harry, you should be.” She stopped shaking his hand and walked off.

“She seems nice.” Poison replied, turning to Amber.

Just then, Ivy arrived along with Goldia in the all black outfit which Ruby had given her, complete with the stockings. “Okay guys, here’s the plan for tomorrow morning, first thing we should do is immediately take out Damien. He won’t see it coming.”

“Uhh, you didn’t read the rules, did you?” Amber asked.

“Yeah, of course I did, why?”

“There’s a big flaw in your plan.”

“Which is?”

“Leaders can’t participate until the 3rd day.”

Ivy was stunned. “What?! Are you serious?!”

Rosie turned to Goldia and asked, “Is this that moment?”

“No, it happens much later.” She replied.

“There you fools are!” The group heard a voice cry out. Looking in the direction of the voice they saw Sakura. “If it isn’t that bitch, Ivy and that lame green haired asshole.”

“I’m not lame.” Poison replied. “Who is that anyway?” Poison asked Ivy.

Ivy shrugged. “I wish I knew.”

This naturally made Sakura mad. “Very funny, just for that remark I’m not gonna go easy on you guys!”

“Seriously, do we know her?” Poison asked.

Ivy shrugged. “Don’t think so.”

Sakura chose not to say anything back and instead angrily stormed off. Goldia nudged Amber and then asked, “Would it be alright if you could inform me about the other demon lords & their abilities?”

“Sure, you already know my friend, Alice Moonlight. Her element is Darkness, kinda hard to explain more than that, but how fitting that she’d be somewhat of a goth. A perky one, who puts the S in BDSM. While he’s not here at the moment, there’s another demon lord I know called Richard Rider. Wears a full red suit, dark brown hair, has a short beard, black cape, etc. Quite the gentleman, oh, he’s also gay. You probably wouldn’t know unless he told you though, it’s not so obvious. Blake Skyline, the nonchalant looking guy there, he’s a pretty no nonsense guy, being more lawful than most. His element is Light, and yes, Blake and Alice normally don’t see eye to eye on things. The big muscular dude is Tyron Silverlake, acts like your typical black man at times and is the first one to normally start a fight. He doesn’t really have much going for him besides his strength and tanking abilities, which aren’t even that great.

The guy in the teddy bear costume is Brian Jenkins, but a lot of people call him BJ. He’s all about magic spells are such, and wears different costumes every week, doesn’t talk much either. The girl from a minute ago, talking with the boy over there? She’s Sakura Summers, and she’s the “childhood friend” of that boy. She’s not as strong or versatile as other demons so she makes up for this through traps and inventions she devices. She’s more of a “with prep time” kind of person, still not a very good one despite that. And the boy she’s with is Toby Tiddles, he’s insecure, really friendly and tends to avoid fights unless people he likes are threatened or hurt, kinda like a harem protagonist, not to mention a lot of girls like him too. He’s unusual since he doesn’t have an element, but instead copies abilities from others upon seeing them. We dated a while back but we’re now just friends with benefits.”

“I.E. You molest him and he’s too nice to tell you to stop.”

“It’s not like that. Well, Sakura doesn’t like it when I talk to Toby, so I make sure to flirt with him regularly. Oh, btw, he’s an incubus and has a 12 inch-” She then noticed Goldia was standing across the street with Ivy who was talking about her.

“So she’s like a total slut, will just fuck anyone and she always swallows on the first date. She’s also into rim jobs.”

“I didn’t know she was like that.” Goldia said.

“I’m not.” Amber replied. “Ivy has just always had somewhat of a grudge against me for some reason.”

Somewhere close by, Lolita was interviewing three other girls in school uniform. One in red pigtails, one with a blond ponytail, and one with long black hair and glasses who carried some books.

“I’m here once again with a group called the ‘Harem Candidate Squad’  who have joined Damien’s side during these war games, I shall be asking them on what their reasons were for doing so.” Lolita positioned her mic under the one with pigtails. “What’s your reason?”

“He made me realize my ex-boyfriend wasn’t the right person for me.”

Lolita moved on to the glasses girl. “He once got a book off the top shelf for me.”

She moved onto the third with the ponytail. “I think he’s hot.” Lolita’s somewhat friendly demeanour immediately faded as the girl backed away and tried to correct herself. “I-I mean, he’s cool! Yeah! It’s just admiration.”

“That’s not what cool means.”

“I got the words mixed up, I swear! Just please don’t kill me! Please don’t team kill me either!”

Later that afternoon, Damien had gathered all the people who were in his group outside and was about to make a speech on a stand. Toby and Sakura were in the crowd and Toby began whispering to Sakura. “Hey, I found out Damien and Ivy had a bet over this.”


“Yeah, if Ivy wins, Damien has to crossdress for a week.”

“That’s a big bet. So what does Damien get?”

“To tickle her for 5 minutes in front of everyone, apparently.”

“Huh? Is he one of those ‘siscon’s’ or something?”

“I don’t know, you ask him.”

“I’m too afraid to ask him…

“Yeah, me too…”

Damien finally got onto the stand and cleared his throat. “Now, I’m not gonna go into some bullshit about how I love war and all that crap. I just want to say that we may all be here for different reasons, but we overall have the same goal: Winning, so lets do that, and lets have fun while doing it. I also want to say, regardless of any past issues, I believe in you guys, because we’re a team. Sorry to disappoint you, but this is all for now.”

Meanwhile, Ivy was doing her own thing in a somewhat deserted location too. “Uhh, it’s my first time doing this, so be gentle.” After some laughs from the crowd, she went on. “So anyway, I know many of you guys are here for different reasons: You just wanna kill people, some guy on the other side stole your dog, you’re having an argument with your best friend and you’re gonna settle it by killing each other, whatever. I appreciate your assistance, none the less. I know many people, even here, aren’t very fond of me. I’ve been a hard person to deal with over the years, egotistical, arrogant, hot-tempered, selfish, vain, and overall an **** to a whole lot of people. I don’t know whether those people deserved that treatment, but my behaviour is not justified, so what I’m trying to say here is, I’m sorry.”

Those two words stunned almost everyone in the audience. People sat out their drinks, someone choked on their hotdog, one mother even dropped her baby out of shock. Goldia placed a fan beside Ivy during this so her cape bellowed in the wind. “Yes, I said it. I’m just one demon, I make mistakes, and I know I can’t win this war alone, but together we can. If you think I’m still the scum of the universe then fair enough, you’re welcome to that opinion, but just this once, let us work together, not as individuals, but as comrades, as brothers-in-arms, as a team.”

Skipping ahead to the next day, it was finally time for the war games to start. Lolita, dressed in a skimpy school uniform, was reporting once again at the battlefield which looked like a typical high school in the middle of a thunderstorm. “Hello ladies and gentlemen, your host once again, Lolita, covering the war games. In just under two hours the games will finally start. As you can see, the type of arena chosen today is a high school, but you better chuck those desks out the window and throw your homework in the trash because things are about to heat up! We’ll be right back after this commercial break…”
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