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The Something Something Demonic Something Ever

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ganonfloyd
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« Reply #165 on: 28 April, 2010, 07:37:20 am »

he rike
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Floyd is the devil.
I SERIOUSLY DREAMT OF FLOYD BEING A KILLER CYBORG WHO RAN 10 TIMES FASTER THAN ANY NORMAL HUMAN, AND THEN KILLED MM, TURNED FEMALE, WENT AFTER ME, AND I DROPPED FROM THE SKYSCRAPER! IT HURTED, BUT I AWAKE CALMLY, THINKING I WOULDN'T SEE YOU AGAIN.
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« Reply #166 on: 28 April, 2010, 08:01:07 am »

wut dat man
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« Reply #167 on: 28 April, 2010, 09:27:59 am »

i rike
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ganonfloyd
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« Reply #168 on: 28 April, 2010, 09:40:56 am »

rike
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Floyd is the devil.
I SERIOUSLY DREAMT OF FLOYD BEING A KILLER CYBORG WHO RAN 10 TIMES FASTER THAN ANY NORMAL HUMAN, AND THEN KILLED MM, TURNED FEMALE, WENT AFTER ME, AND I DROPPED FROM THE SKYSCRAPER! IT HURTED, BUT I AWAKE CALMLY, THINKING I WOULDN'T SEE YOU AGAIN.
*no gold, just us*
Marie Rose
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« Reply #169 on: 28 April, 2010, 09:41:47 am »

ARRaHHH!!
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ganonfloyd
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« Reply #170 on: 28 April, 2010, 09:42:51 am »

rike
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Floyd is the devil.
I SERIOUSLY DREAMT OF FLOYD BEING A KILLER CYBORG WHO RAN 10 TIMES FASTER THAN ANY NORMAL HUMAN, AND THEN KILLED MM, TURNED FEMALE, WENT AFTER ME, AND I DROPPED FROM THE SKYSCRAPER! IT HURTED, BUT I AWAKE CALMLY, THINKING I WOULDN'T SEE YOU AGAIN.
*no gold, just us*
Spring-Loaded
Spring; the season your dreams take place in
Epic Post Whore
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Gender: Male
Mood: Practical
Posts: 26,112


« Reply #171 on: 28 April, 2010, 10:41:26 am »

ARRike
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« Reply #172 on: 02 May, 2010, 02:58:30 pm »

I actually had to shorten this as it was getting a bit too long.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TMEDCE: Chapter 23 – Deadly Poison

Somewhere in the future, Ivy had managed to build the house again. One day, Ivy got sick and summoned Poison to her room earlier in the morning. He sat by her bed as he said, “Hey, you don’t look so well...”

She coughed before speaking. “Yes, I seem to have contracted Diabeetus.”

“Diabeetus.” Poison repeated, narrowing his eyes at her. She nodded. “So is there anything I can do?”

“Yes.” She coughed again. “Perhaps you could grant this cute little girl’s final wish before she dies...”

“To take over the world?”

“Of course!” She exclaimed as she sat up, and then started coughing again.

“Rest. I’ll take care of things from here.” Later that night, Poison was still in the room, sitting by a desk near the bed. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. A few scenes were shown of him opening the door, paying the pizza boy and placing the pizza on Ivy’s desk by his notebook, complete with speed lines. Poison took a slice and snickered for a few moments as he started writing. Ivy appeared to have a fever and was twisting and turning in her sleep as he did so. Ominous Latin chanting accompanied it. “The first step to world domination, would be gather a group of chaotic and criminally insane associates to help me in my cause, but to not attract attention to those on the good side while doing so. Adol was convicted of sleeping with a 12 year old, in his defense, she looked at least 16, but that’s not important.”

I’ll break him out of prison, but I may need help finding others, from the likes of Omar, to the embodiment of evil that is Willard. I’ll put Ivy’s resources to good use, in designing myself a personal suit to increase my fighting abilities while I accomplish this.”

Ivy reached out to grab the air as she said, “Cowbell. It needs more cowbell!”

Poison’s eyes widened as speed lines appeared and the chanting got louder. “I’ll show them. This **** will be serious!

The camera jerked around as it focused on Poison writing. “I won’t use some stupid ploy to hide my scheme. I’ll simply have the standard threats where I want them, and kill off the lethal threats as soon as possible, and then nuke the whole planet while I’m off the earth and wipe out most of the enemy’s weaponry. While doing all this, I’ll also try my best to look like a complete badass.” He then took a slice of pizza. “I’ll take a slice, and nom that ****!” As he did so, there was an explosion, the windows shattered, and he continued writing, with it being shown from various angles with speed lines soon before fading to black.

Later that night, Poison walked towards a large prison, wearing black leather armor with a neon green ‘X’ going across it, a black jacket, gloves with small claws on the back, and a green mask with a bored looking facial expression carved into it. Poison held up a hand and fired a small laser blast from his glove, blowing the door off its hinges as he walked in. He walked through the corridors, freeing some of the prisoners and only aiming to wound anyone who tried to stop him.

He finally made it to Adol’s cell and blasted down the door. “Ahh, Adol, I wish I could say it was good to see you again, but I’m not that fond of you. Anyway, I came here to bust you out, you ready to go?”

“Thanks man, you’re Poison, right?”

“How did you know?”

“Well, the mask is green, and green is your standard colour.”

“Ahh, guess I should have thought that part through...well, whatever. Let’s go.” Moments later, Poison punched through the wall and leaped down from the third floor. As the two walked down the street, a dozen cop cars were there waiting for them. They both drew their weapons as Adol said, “You up for this?”

“Hey, remember who you’re talking to.”

For the next minute, they ran around, taking cover behind objects, deflecting bullets, and showing no mercy as they aimed to kill. A blast of fire took out the last cop, at which point Poison looked in the direction of the blast to see Amber sitting on a rooftop. “So have you been here this whole time?”

“I like to watch.” She said with a smirk.

“Well I’m got a proposition for you...but first of all, you need to change that outfit and put some decent clothes on.”

“What’s wrong with my clothes?”

“You wear a frickin’ bikini. I think that’s all I need to say.”

The next morning, Poison had also gathered Omar at Ivy’s house and they were discussing plans in the living room. Poison stopped when he saw Ruby approaching the bushes outside and informed them to hide their presence before she sees. He then took a can of Coca Cola which he had poisoned for this purpose and left the house to greet her. She waved as she saw him. “Hi Poison!”

“Hey Ruby, I was wondering if you wanted a drink.” He said, handing her the can.

“Huh? Why?”

“Well, we’re friends, right? And I figured you’d be thirsty. You want it?” 

Ruby shrugged before taking a sip. “Well, okay. Thanks, Poison.”

“My pleasure.” He said as he headed back inside. “Oh, also, Ivy is sick right now, so she’ll be in bed all day.”

“Oh, well I’ll see you later then.” Ruby quickly left as she waved goodbye.

As Poison shut the door, Omar then said, “Why didn’t you simply just kill her? I could use those eyes for a good cause...”

“Killing her now wouldn’t be much fun. The poison in that can isn’t enough to actually kill her, but it’ll knock her out for a few days, reducing the maximum threat level. Gary normally doesn’t turn up unless something special is happening, and neither will Crystal. Right now my biggest threats are Spring and Floyd, once they’re out of the way, everything else will simply fall into place.”

Shortly afterwards, as Poison said, Ruby ended up drifting off to sleep on the middle of a field. She awoke several days later, where most of the buildings were partly destroyed, or on fire, and the sky was a dark shade of orange with dozens of high tech ships sweeping the city with searchlights. She looked around in confusion before jumping into a bush to avoid the ships. “What on earth happened here?” She said to no-one in particular.

Meanwhile, Poison was currently aboard a large battleship, in his private quarters playing SSBB with three other women. Just then, Loli Black punched down the door and leaped into the room, her clothes covered in dust, dirt and blood. “Poison!”

Poison got to his feet. “Ahh, you’re still alive, I guess I didn’t use enough explosives.”

“That’s right; I escaped before the bomb went off and punched down your dragon on the way.”

“You’re worthy of the name Badass-chan.”

“Thank you.” She bowed. “But Poison, I can never forgive you for what you’ve done! I thought we were bros, man! We were tight!”

“I got new bros now, BC, but you can be my ho if you want. We’ll only play games and such though, so it’s cool.”

She shook her head. “Nah man, I can’t dig that. You ain’t Poison.”

“Is that so? To be honest, it’s their fault. You guys assumed that cutting the red wire on my bomb would stop it, but you knew I’m not the type to make it that simple, which is why leaving it as the red wire was the easier choice. Besides, cutting the red wire would speed up the countdown anyway, so it was inevitable. You sure I’m not Poison? Perhaps I’m just another side of Willard. Maybe Poison never existed; he was a figment of your imagination. Willard was Poison’s true side, maybe we’re all Willard deep inside. Maybe even you’re Willard, but you just don’t know it yet.”

Badass-chan’s head suddenly exploded, just as Willard appeared. “Causing a friend’s head to explode due to a paradox. Impressive work, Poison.”

“I do what I can, now please, leave me to beat up my hoes.”

“Of course.” Willard left and Poison went back to playing his game.

Just then, Lily ran in with a chart in her hand, yelling, “Poison! Argent news!”

“Ahh, Lily, come play with me.”

“I’ll be charging you three times as much if you want me to do that.” She replied cheerfully.

“Geez, you’re so stingy.”

“Anyway, reports have shown Ruby has woken up, and contacted the prince of angels. They’re on their way here now. Also, Spring and Floyd aren’t dead. In fact, they’ll probably be arriving any minute now...” And as if right on cue, they blasted down a wall with their shotguns further down and moved down a corridor full of robots. Poison got up, grabbed his mark and sword, and took off.

On the way down there, they suddenly punched through a wall and hit him. He flew into the air and quickly recovered as he landed on his feet. He smirked as he spoke. “You guys got here earlier than expected, seems that wasn’t enough to kill you guys.”

“Trying to drown us in blocks of cement just wasn’t good enough, Poison.” Floyd replied. “I thought you knew better. But I see you’re crazy prepared.”

“Yes, just in case, I designed anti-explosion armor to protect me from your broken abilities, and equipped my allies with it. They thought I was paranoid, but after meeting guys like you, there’s no such thing.”

“Seems you’ve learned too much.” Spring said, just before aiming at him. “But this is where our confrontation shall end.” Floyd did the same.

“You guys aren’t forgetting me, are you?” Willard suddenly appeared out of the shadows and aimed his assault rifle at Floyd. Adol followed suit, aiming at Spring. Poison took this opportunity to walk off, as he said, “I have some business to attend to. Perhaps we’ll meet later, but we never know.” The four of them stood in silence, eyes fixated on their targets, waiting for the other person to shoot first before making a move.

Outside, Ruby’s ship was approaching the black battleship and noticed Floyd had called backup as T-Rex’s in jets were attacking the squadron of ships. She also noticed a black alien on a pogo stick wiping out some of the jets. Ruby stopped by the side of the ship and opened the cockpit. “I’m going to take on Poison directly. You should find a way to reach the control room unseen and stop the ship.” She then took off, whacking robotic spiders attached to the sides, leaping across small holes, and then jumping through a glass window to find an empty room with a chair ahead.

Poison spun round in the chair as she arrived and greeted her. “Hello, Ruby, I’ve been expecting you.”

“Then why did you only turn around when I made it here?”

“Because I’ve always wanted to do that.” He got out of the chair. “But enough talk, let’s begin.” He charged at her and kneed her through a wall. They appeared to be in another corridor, with Ruby hopping back and evading Poison’s repeated swings before taking out her spear and jabbing at him. She managed to kick him in the chest, knocking him back, and then threw her spear at him. He kicked it into the air and blocked several of her punches, grabbed her spear as it came down and hit her over the head with it followed by a backflip kick.

Meanwhile, Gary successfully made it to the control room, which was lit only by the screens of the monitors. He heard a shot being fired, followed by dozens of rapid fire somewhere nearby but paid no mind. He discovered most of the population that hadn’t been killed were being controlled by a satellite built by Omar. Amber then appeared by the doorway. She wore skin-tight black leather outfit with waves of fire on the side and a fire symbol on the front. “Hey Prince, need any help over there?”

Gary leaped over Amber as she immediately charged at him and took off. Crystal showed up shortly afterwards, stopping Amber from proceeding any further.

In a massive boiler room, Poison and Ruby were hopping across pipes, slashing at each other. Poison managed to kick her onto a path down below and attempted to stab her. She rolled out the way and kneed him in the face. Gary arrived shortly and leaped down onto the path to challenge Poison. Poison held out his hand and hit Ruby with a blast of energy as he traded blows with Gary. He blocked one blow and elbowed him in the face, before tripping Ruby from behind. Poison then leaped over Gary and roundhouse kicked him before blasting them further back.

Poison threw a bomb which Gary dodged, and then activated it, springing a net which wrapped around Ruby. Poison and Gary continued, until Gary eventually knocked his sword out of his hand. “It’s over, man. What are you gonna do now without yo-” Poison punched him in the face, knocking him to the ground.

“What gave you the impression I couldn’t kick your ass without my sword?” Poison said, shrugging. As Gary attacked again, Poison kicked him, and then knocked him back with a hadoken. As Gary got up and did an overhead swing, Poison blocked it with his left arm and hit him with a shoryuken. Gary flew back, landed on his feet and immediately charged at Poison again. Poison dodged a slice aiming at his head and hit him with a tornado whirlwind kick, knocking him back again. Poison quickly leaped up and stabbed Gary with his sword, Ruby yelling out in vain as Poison twisted and turned the sword until Gary eventually passed away. Poison put away his sword and walked over to Ruby. “Now it’s your turn. I’ll untangle you so you have the honour of fighting to the death.”

“Why don’t you just shoot me?!” Ruby said, glaring at him.

“If you wish.” Poison said, then took out a magnum and shot her in the forehead, killing her instantly. Just then, Amber showed up and waved, “Hey Poison, I took care of Crystal. P.A.L helped out a little, but we accomplished the mission regardless.”

“And what about my two old friends?”

“They’re no more. Willard seems somewhat wounded, and Adol asked to be buried in a grave with underage girls who’ve matured much faster.”

“Very well.” He said as he walked up to her. “Report to my private quarters later and receive your reward.”

“What should I be wearing?”

“In the end, it’s not gonna matter.” Minutes later, Poison stood on the roof of the ship, observing the view as his hair bellowed in the wind. “So this is it, the bad guy has won. It’s a perpetual downer ending.” He then sighed. “Well this is boring...”

---

In the middle of a food court, Ivy and Poison sat at a table, with Poison typing this out on a laptop as Ivy ate pixie sticks. Poison stroked his chin, thinking of what to write when Ivy suddenly said, “That needs some prose, and a bit of variable ways of speaking.”

Poison quickly turned the screen away from her as he said, “Uhh, yeah.”

“What’re you writing anyway?”

“It’s nothing important.” Poison said with a sigh before deciding to delete it. “By the way, I’ve noticed P.A.L has initials, what do those actually stand for?”

“Oh, they stand for Perfect Artificial Lo-”

Poison quickly covered her mouth as he said, “Y’know what, never mind.”
« Last Edit: 06 May, 2010, 08:55:27 pm by Juri » Report Spam   Logged

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ganonfloyd
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« Reply #173 on: 07 May, 2010, 11:33:02 am »

wat is this lazier than floyd thing
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Floyd is the devil.
I SERIOUSLY DREAMT OF FLOYD BEING A KILLER CYBORG WHO RAN 10 TIMES FASTER THAN ANY NORMAL HUMAN, AND THEN KILLED MM, TURNED FEMALE, WENT AFTER ME, AND I DROPPED FROM THE SKYSCRAPER! IT HURTED, BUT I AWAKE CALMLY, THINKING I WOULDN'T SEE YOU AGAIN.
*no gold, just us*
Marie Rose
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« Reply #174 on: 07 May, 2010, 11:54:18 am »

i wuz continuously changing the name of da topic 4 shits 'n giggles, mang. Lighter than Pink, Stranger than Green, Lazier than Floyd, it's all gud, bro.
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ganonfloyd
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« Reply #175 on: 07 May, 2010, 02:58:04 pm »

but y lazier than floyd
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Floyd is the devil.
I SERIOUSLY DREAMT OF FLOYD BEING A KILLER CYBORG WHO RAN 10 TIMES FASTER THAN ANY NORMAL HUMAN, AND THEN KILLED MM, TURNED FEMALE, WENT AFTER ME, AND I DROPPED FROM THE SKYSCRAPER! IT HURTED, BUT I AWAKE CALMLY, THINKING I WOULDN'T SEE YOU AGAIN.
*no gold, just us*
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« Reply #176 on: 07 May, 2010, 02:58:59 pm »

Mood: Lazy

Posted by: Lazy-assed Mercenary
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« Reply #177 on: 07 May, 2010, 02:59:23 pm »

Rapier than Bo
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ganonfloyd
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« Reply #178 on: 07 May, 2010, 03:03:32 pm »

touche
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Floyd is the devil.
I SERIOUSLY DREAMT OF FLOYD BEING A KILLER CYBORG WHO RAN 10 TIMES FASTER THAN ANY NORMAL HUMAN, AND THEN KILLED MM, TURNED FEMALE, WENT AFTER ME, AND I DROPPED FROM THE SKYSCRAPER! IT HURTED, BUT I AWAKE CALMLY, THINKING I WOULDN'T SEE YOU AGAIN.
*no gold, just us*
Marie Rose
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Mood: Amazing
Posts: 19,199



« Reply #179 on: 07 May, 2010, 03:04:06 pm »

but y lazier than floyd
cuz u lazy

Mood: Lazy

Posted by: Lazy-assed Mercenary
c?
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