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Final Clash: Start of a Journey (still thinking of a title...)

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SilverEspio
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« Reply #15 on: 13 February, 2008, 12:43:56 am »

Kas: The… pain… too unbearable. AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!

(Blood gushes out of Kas’s nose and ears and he is knocked out cold.)

Jaten: +I am sorry, friend…+

(Meanwhile, in the streets.)

Macin: Brother, I think we should check the hospital first. That way we can check and see not only if Kas is there, but also if there are any clues or patterns pointing to the deaths of these victims.

Grou: … Might as well. There seems to be no sign of Kas here anyway.

(The walk to the hospital only takes 5 minutes walking.)

Nurse: Excuse me gentlemen, can you help me out?

(She has a big container besides her.)

Nurse: I want you to dump this outside.

Grou: *Looks at Macin* … Why do I have to listen to you?

Macin: … Let’s just carry this outside.

( On the other side of town…)

Valce: Great, we have a woman on our team. What are you gonna do, kiss somebody to death?

Yane: … You sound just like a brat who just got his candy taken away.

Kri: Don’t be so hard on him.

Yane: I get lectured by the pervert. What else can go wrong?

Kri: Listen, I know my intentions are always pure, but they are at least on the good side of things. *checks to make sure Valce speeds up ahead* I think he was disappointed in what one woman did to him a long time ago. I remember oh so many years ago. At first, it looked like it didn’t even phase him, but I guess my assumption was wrong. So he takes all of his rage on the opposite gender.

Yane: Wow, never thought of it that way. Can you tell me what happened?

Kri: Sure. One day, he was on a date of sorts to this restaurant. He was the first person to appear there, waiting for his date. She never came. He waited 4 hours for her to come and she never did. The next day, that same girl was sitting at a table with another guy. This devastated him even further.

Yane: Wow that is so harsh. Can’t believe someone did that to him…

Kri: While he is ahead, why don’t we cuddle?

Yane: Touch me and I will break your arm in unimaginable ways.
(Up ahead)

Valce: +Why do I have to be stuck with women? They are so useless! Well maybe that is a bit harsh, but I can’t let myself fall prey to what happened that time.+

(Just then, Kas stumbles out of an alley, badly beaten up and bleeding.)

Kas: Valce… help me… can’t go on like this…

(He then falls to the ground.)

Valce: Oh no! *He picks up Kas* Hang in there buddy, I got you!

(He then runs to where Yane and Kri are.)

Valce: Guys, I found Kas like this. It looks like he isn’t gonna make it. Where’s the hospital?!

Yane: Oh no, the killer made his strike again! We got to hurry! This way!

(They all run to the hospital. 13 minutes later, they meet up with Grou and Macin.)

Kri: Guys, we found- what is that smell and what is on you?!?

Grou: Don’t ask. What is the pro- *He sees a bloody Kas in Valce’s arms* No! Nurse, carry my friend to the nearest room, stat!

Nurse: On it! By the way, did you-

Macin: Yeah, yeah we did it already. What happened?

Valce: I was just walking and he stumbled across.

Yane: No time for talk, we got to see his status!

(They run to the room where Kas was taken. They are greeted by a doctor)

Huh?: Good evening. My name is Dr. Grayen. Your friend was spared this time. We checked his organs and it seems he only suffered very minor damage. What made him faint was possible due to the speed of the blood gushing out and that so many organs were hit in a short amount of time. Other than that, he is going to make a full recovery.

Grou: Doctor, when is he gonna get out and about on his own with us?

Greyan: I would say about 4 days from now. We just have to test if he is truly ok. The damage may have been slight, but the effects could have been devastating.

Yane: I will look after him tonight. You four should go and find a hotel for the night.

(The group then heads outside.)

Grou: Who could do this to Kas, out of all people?

Macin: Someone who wants to kill us one by one, that’s who.

Valce: It settles it; we find out who this killer is and stop his shenanigans once and for all.

(Just then a puff of smoke appears out of nowhere.)

Kri: Who in the world is this?

(A 6’8”, muscular figure appears out of the smoke in black armor. It’s Serkal.)

Grou: Serkal!

(Grou then rushes at Serkal, only to be blocked by a mystical shield.)

Serkal: I don’t mean to fight you imps, for now. I just wanted to see how my town is doing.

Valce: Your town? Ha, that’s a laugh.

Serkal: I also came to tell you that one of my stronger minions just took out your friend and I ordered him to attack you four. See you in the ground. (Evil laughter is heard while he disappears in a puff of smoke.)

Grou: So we gotta watch ourselves while watching the killer?

Kri: This is gonna be so hectic these four days…
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SilverEspio
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« Reply #16 on: 13 February, 2008, 12:45:59 am »

So yeah long time no see with this story. But I just had to finish this installment and I had a combo of writer's block and buttload of work to do. But yeah here's the lastest installment and I am currently working on the next one. Wait at least until a week or two to see the next one. Cheesy
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« Reply #17 on: 24 February, 2008, 12:59:46 pm »

*slides in*
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SilverEspio
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« Reply #18 on: 24 February, 2008, 11:53:47 pm »

*slides in*

What do you think of it?
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Masterman
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« Reply #19 on: 25 February, 2008, 03:34:06 pm »


Decent. I've read all of it so far.
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SilverEspio
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« Reply #20 on: 03 March, 2008, 11:20:23 am »

YAYZ!

Ok here's the next part. I'm kinda at a stillpoint on what to do here, so can someone help me finish this chapter?

(While the remaining four talk about what they are going to do, Serkal is in his throne, calculating on what to do next.)

Serkal: + I do hope Jaten does his part. Now that I know how those mortals look, I can take them out posthaste without lifting a finger. And if they come up to me, I will make them cower in fear with this…

*Serkal takes out an orange penchant*+ NO ONE CAN STOP ME! NO ONE!! (Evil laughter)

(Meanwhile, in the hospital of Zene.)

Yane: I am so sorry that this happened to your friend. I should have warned you about the mystery assailant.

Grou: No it wasn’t your fault. If anybody’s, it is Serkal for putting a hit out on us.

Valce: NOBODY’S FAULT?! IT’S THAT BROAD’S FAULT KAS WAS NEARLY KILLED!

(Valce then runs out the room in a rage, shouting. Yane is looking at the ground in shame.)

Yane: … I have a feeling he’s right.

Macin: Don’t think like that. Valce is just ticked because he felt he could have done something to prevent this. Thing is, we couldn’t and we had to let fate do its course. *Puts hand on Yane’s shoulder* Don’t take it so hard. You did the best you could. You should be proud for warning us in the nick of time. At least we now know what we are kinda up against.

Kri: … I’ll go talk to Valce.

Grou: You go do that. Me and Macin will ask around to find a hotel for the night.

(Meanwhile, outside.)

Valce: +Women are so useless! I mean that broad could have told us about the killer sooner than she did. At least we could have done something…+

Kri: Valce! Get over here!

Valce: What, you’re on that women’s side? Oh, of course! You just can’t keep your hands off of her. (All while saying this, Kri’s expression grew angrier.)

Kri: Listen, idiot, you can’t hate every woman just because one did you wrong a few years back on a failed date.

Valce: YOU TAKE THAT BACK! You don’t know what happened! That broad just ditched me! And for what? A guy who just happened to be more suave, sensitive, and just irresistible than I could hope to ever be? You know what I name women like that? (He bursts into fire mode. The moment he does so, the temperature around him rises by about 25 degrees.)

Kri: Don’t. It just under appreciates what women stand for. Listen, I know your pain. You weren’t given a second chance at all. You were even detested by some girls because of your cursed powers.

Valce: (calms back down to normal mode) … forget it. You may think you know what happened, but you will never the pain I went through. (Turns into wind form and jumps to the nearby wall.) Don’t follow me. I just need to vent some… (He then runs at full speed in the northern direction.)

Kri: … Valce! +You could have talked about the whole thing. I would have at least listened…+

(Meanwhile, in the hospital.)

Yane: Have you guys found a hotel yet?

Grou: No, not yet. So far, all of the places we been to have either been full or corrupted.

Yane: Corrupted?

Macin: Yeah, one actually had the customers doing the hotel’s dirty work. I swear, if they would have told me to wash their…

Yane: -Stop. Please.

Macin: Point is, unless we find a diamond in the rough, we may have to sleep on the outskirts of this town.

Yane: How about you guys stay in the mansion with me?

Grou: That could work. Is their enough room for me, Macin, Valce, and Kri?

Yane: Kri can sleep in a ditch for all I care. You three, however, are welcome guests.

Macin: … Yane.

Yane: Ok there room for all of you, happy?

Macin: Well if you could arrange us a little “entertainment”…

Yane: Excuse me?

Grou: *gags Macin* Nevermind him.

(Elsewhere, on the outskirts of town, Valce is sitting at a branch of a tree in deep thought.)

Valce: +Kri almost got me…+ *sighs* +Gotta calm down, that was in the past.+  *stares off into the distance* +A man can be made from his past, but can change for the future…+

(Flashback. The setting is three years in the past in Valce’s hometown. Valce is inside a huge auditorium with a younger-looking Locin.)

Valce: Daddy, I wanna go see the fireworks! They are so fun to watch!

Locin: Settle down, child. We’ll go after your father is done with his work. *Looks at the sun to tell the time* And that should be in about 30 minutes.

Valce: Aww, but we might miss the most fun part! Well, can I at least play outside?

Locin: It might be better if you do.

Valce: Yay! *He then runs full-speed at the door*

Locin: +What an innocent child… He surely should know what dark side plagues this family. Otherwise, it may be his downfall. But it seems me and him are the only sane ones in this forsaken family. I just hope his real father doesn’t try to waken his demon.+

(Just then the door besides him opened up. A figure in a dark cloak appeared. Locin looks on with worry on his face.)

Huh?:  Locin, your time has come.

Locin: You demons are after me next? Feh, you can die like the dogs you are.

(The mysterious figure then aims at Locin’s body and drags him inside the door.)

Locin: You can’t change me! You can’t! AUGGGGHHHHHH!

(Meanwhile, outside, Valce is aiming at the sky with his fire powers, avoiding burning anything and practicing.)

Valce: +Gotta fire my problems away! Gotta be happy for the best today!+ *Fires a fire arrow and guides it through the clouds.+

Huh?: Wow, that’s so cool!

So yeah, what do you guys think? I got a little after this, and I have a general idea on where I want it to head. Again, help is appreciated.
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