*slides in*
What do you think of it?
Decent. I've read all of it so far.
YAYZ!
Ok here's the next part. I'm kinda at a stillpoint on what to do here, so can someone help me finish this chapter?
(While the remaining four talk about what they are going to do, Serkal is in his throne, calculating on what to do next.)
Serkal: + I do hope Jaten does his part. Now that I know how those mortals look, I can take them out posthaste without lifting a finger. And if they come up to me, I will make them cower in fear with this…
*Serkal takes out an orange penchant*+ NO ONE CAN STOP ME! NO ONE!! (Evil laughter)
(Meanwhile, in the hospital of Zene.)
Yane: I am so sorry that this happened to your friend. I should have warned you about the mystery assailant.
Grou: No it wasn’t your fault. If anybody’s, it is Serkal for putting a hit out on us.
Valce: NOBODY’S FAULT?! IT’S THAT BROAD’S FAULT KAS WAS NEARLY KILLED!
(Valce then runs out the room in a rage, shouting. Yane is looking at the ground in shame.)
Yane: … I have a feeling he’s right.
Macin: Don’t think like that. Valce is just ticked because he felt he could have done something to prevent this. Thing is, we couldn’t and we had to let fate do its course. *Puts hand on Yane’s shoulder* Don’t take it so hard. You did the best you could. You should be proud for warning us in the nick of time. At least we now know what we are kinda up against.
Kri: … I’ll go talk to Valce.
Grou: You go do that. Me and Macin will ask around to find a hotel for the night.
(Meanwhile, outside.)
Valce: +Women are so useless! I mean that broad could have told us about the killer sooner than she did. At least we could have done something…+
Kri: Valce! Get over here!
Valce: What, you’re on that women’s side? Oh, of course! You just can’t keep your hands off of her. (All while saying this, Kri’s expression grew angrier.)
Kri: Listen, idiot, you can’t hate every woman just because one did you wrong a few years back on a failed date.
Valce: YOU TAKE THAT BACK! You don’t know what happened! That broad just ditched me! And for what? A guy who just happened to be more suave, sensitive, and just irresistible than I could hope to ever be? You know what I name women like that? (He bursts into fire mode. The moment he does so, the temperature around him rises by about 25 degrees.)
Kri: Don’t. It just under appreciates what women stand for. Listen, I know your pain. You weren’t given a second chance at all. You were even detested by some girls because of your cursed powers.
Valce: (calms back down to normal mode) … forget it. You may think you know what happened, but you will never the pain I went through. (Turns into wind form and jumps to the nearby wall.) Don’t follow me. I just need to vent some… (He then runs at full speed in the northern direction.)
Kri: … Valce! +You could have talked about the whole thing. I would have at least listened…+
(Meanwhile, in the hospital.)
Yane: Have you guys found a hotel yet?
Grou: No, not yet. So far, all of the places we been to have either been full or corrupted.
Yane: Corrupted?
Macin: Yeah, one actually had the customers doing the hotel’s dirty work. I swear, if they would have told me to wash their…
Yane: -Stop. Please.
Macin: Point is, unless we find a diamond in the rough, we may have to sleep on the outskirts of this town.
Yane: How about you guys stay in the mansion with me?
Grou: That could work. Is their enough room for me, Macin, Valce, and Kri?
Yane: Kri can sleep in a ditch for all I care. You three, however, are welcome guests.
Macin: … Yane.
Yane: Ok there room for all of you, happy?
Macin: Well if you could arrange us a little “entertainment”…
Yane: Excuse me?
Grou: *gags Macin* Nevermind him.
(Elsewhere, on the outskirts of town, Valce is sitting at a branch of a tree in deep thought.)
Valce: +Kri almost got me…+ *sighs* +Gotta calm down, that was in the past.+ *stares off into the distance* +A man can be made from his past, but can change for the future…+
(Flashback. The setting is three years in the past in Valce’s hometown. Valce is inside a huge auditorium with a younger-looking Locin.)
Valce: Daddy, I wanna go see the fireworks! They are so fun to watch!
Locin: Settle down, child. We’ll go after your father is done with his work. *Looks at the sun to tell the time* And that should be in about 30 minutes.
Valce: Aww, but we might miss the most fun part! Well, can I at least play outside?
Locin: It might be better if you do.
Valce: Yay! *He then runs full-speed at the door*
Locin: +What an innocent child… He surely should know what dark side plagues this family. Otherwise, it may be his downfall. But it seems me and him are the only sane ones in this forsaken family. I just hope his real father doesn’t try to waken his demon.+
(Just then the door besides him opened up. A figure in a dark cloak appeared. Locin looks on with worry on his face.)
: Locin, your time has come.
Locin: You demons are after me next? Feh, you can die like the dogs you are.
(The mysterious figure then aims at Locin’s body and drags him inside the door.)
Locin: You can’t change me! You can’t! AUGGGGHHHHHH!
(Meanwhile, outside, Valce is aiming at the sky with his fire powers, avoiding burning anything and practicing.)
Valce: +Gotta fire my problems away! Gotta be happy for the best today!+ *Fires a fire arrow and guides it through the clouds.+
: Wow, that’s so cool!
So yeah, what do you guys think? I got a little after this, and I have a general idea on where I want it to head. Again, help is appreciated.