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Welcome to Animal Crossing - As experienced by a newcomer

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Gargravarr
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« Reply #30 on: 27 June, 2013, 09:41:13 pm »

O8viously, you need to find some kind of mask and 8ecome Illis, Cat 8urglar Supreme, and forci8ly take those donations from your villagers.

Ah, if only Animal Crossing had that feature.


It would be an excellent new use for that fancy, twirlable moustache of his. He'd have to find a new Mayor accessory, though.
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« Reply #31 on: 28 June, 2013, 04:10:01 pm »

I heard the Nigerian Minister of Finance is giving lessons in money scamming raising unexpected funds, Of course, they ask for 10,000 bells prior to starting giving actual lessons, but...
That sounds like the best deal ever.

Yeah, I'm guessing you'll have to pay for most of that bridge yourself. And that skeleton is actually a sculpture made from the bones of people Roscoe has "taken care of" for Tom Nook. And your growing friendship with Papi should be extra incentive not to **** that raccoon off.

Can you remember if it was Tommy Nook or Timmy Nook that gave you the fortune cookie with Samus's helmet in it?
That's devious, man.

And I think it might have been Timmy, though I'm not 100% sure.

O8viously, you need to find some kind of mask and 8ecome Illis, Cat 8urglar Supreme, and forci8ly take those donations from your villagers.

Ah, if only Animal Crossing had that feature.

I would totally steal from them if I could.


Also, no update today and probably tomorrow, because I'm a bit busy.
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« Reply #32 on: 28 June, 2013, 04:22:10 pm »

Mayor may not, today, eh?
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« Reply #33 on: 28 June, 2013, 04:41:51 pm »

Ah, so Tommy has yet to redeem himself for the Virtual Boy, then?
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« Reply #34 on: 29 June, 2013, 06:28:02 pm »



brb upstaging illis

also isabelle has her own twitter

https://twitter.com/animalcrossing
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wat why are my fruit fighting i dont even get back in the fridge or meet a blendery death - TML
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« Reply #35 on: 30 June, 2013, 04:26:11 pm »

Ah, so Tommy has yet to redeem himself for the Virtual Boy, then?
I don't believe he has redeemed himself, no. I go there every day, but I only include it in the update if it's noteworthy. Even so, I don't believe he's given me anything awesome yet. I think he gave me three red spinning shells, like in Mario Kart, but they make a very annoying sound.



brb upstaging illis

also isabelle has her own twitter

https://twitter.com/animalcrossing
Lamest aquarium ever. My mayor aquarium is so much better.

And I have seen, and it's just too good. Too good.


Day 11:

As I walked out to yet another rainy day, I spotted a comic on my front lawn. A comic. On my front lawn. Granted, I've only been mayor for 11 days, and I've seen stranger things, but why would someone throw a comic on my front lawn? That's just nerdy, and wierd. And thus began the task of the day: Finding the owner of the mysterious comic book.

First, I came across Canberra, who was hiding behind a tree. We may have been playing hide-and-seek at the time (the regular kind, without the power), but I didn't pay much attention. When shown the comic book, she denied it being hers. My search had to continue.


I have the same problem, but girls tend to get mad at me when they notice

I ran all over the village, asking most of the townspeople, who all claimed they didn't own the comic book. This was getting curiouser and curiouser with every step I took. Now, I could just put up a notice on the town board about the missing comic, but no. I wanted the satisfaction of finding the person responsible, politely telling them not to throw their stuff on my mayor-lawn again. I have a perfectly valid mailbox for that sort of thing. Lost in thought as I was, Peggy called me over.


Well, it's just one guy, really.

Before I had any chance to answer her, lie to her, run away or all of the above combined, she interrupted me.


I don't think saying no would change anything.

So now two people are calling me Cookie. Mayor Cookie. I have a feeling that nickname is going to spread far and wide. And it scares me.

Having finished my business with Peggy, I was again left clueless. No one knew anything about the comic, or who it belonged to. Even after an entire day of searching, fishing, mayoring, bug catching, selling and everything else I normally do, nothing came about. Keaton knew nothing, Sydney knew nothing, Roscoe knew nothing, and Sterling told me something about muscles. I don't think it had any relation to the comic book, but I've stopped questioning Sterling at this point. It dawned on me, that there was one person I hadn't seen. One person who's house I hadn't visited.

No... It couldn't be. No. No way. That would be impossible. It literally would not be possible. It could not b-


But... But I knocked on your door before you let me in.

Why does everything in my life revolve around Papi?

This is quickly starting to get weird. Most major non-mayoral milestones I've made since coming to this town has involved Papi in some way or another. Arguably, a comic book on my front lawn isn't a milestone, but still. Papi, why? Why? Why leave this thing on my front lawn? It's like you want my attention or something. And, I mean, you're a nice guy, but man.


That sounds like the most interesting superhero of all time, end sarcasm.

And then I went home to read up on Fountain Pen Man's deep and immersive lore.

I found none.
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« Reply #36 on: 30 June, 2013, 04:41:58 pm »

Ah, so Tommy has yet to redeem himself for the Virtual Boy, then?
I don't believe he has redeemed himself, no. I go there every day, but I only include it in the update if it's noteworthy. Even so, I don't believe he's given me anything awesome yet. I think he gave me three red spinning shells, like in Mario Kart, but they make a very annoying sound.

Damn. Were it not for the annoying noise that sounds like it would be pretty cool.

Maybe I'm just overly-suspicious, but there's something a bit... off about Papi. Like he's a bit too keen to be your friend.
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« Reply #37 on: 01 July, 2013, 01:37:27 am »

Fountain Pen Man? Who's his nemesis? The Ink Drinker?
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« Reply #38 on: 01 July, 2013, 02:22:59 am »

Fountain Pen Man? Who's his nemesis? The Ink Drinker?
And his blank pages minions!
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« Reply #39 on: 01 July, 2013, 06:44:35 am »

Ah, so Tommy has yet to redeem himself for the Virtual Boy, then?
I don't believe he has redeemed himself, no. I go there every day, but I only include it in the update if it's noteworthy. Even so, I don't believe he's given me anything awesome yet. I think he gave me three red spinning shells, like in Mario Kart, but they make a very annoying sound.

Damn. Were it not for the annoying noise that sounds like it would be pretty cool.

Maybe I'm just overly-suspicious, but there's something a bit... off about Papi. Like he's a bit too keen to be your friend.
They would. They take up a 2x2 square, and spin around just like in Mario Kart. It's just that really annoying sound.

And he seems very keen on it. And maybe it's just the floral shirt (and the fact that I'm a stereotyping git probably doesn't help), but he seems to act kind of... feminine.

Fountain Pen Man? Who's his nemesis? The Ink Drinker?
Fountain Pen Man? Who's his nemesis? The Ink Drinker?
And his blank pages minions!
Fountain Pen Man just went from the most lame superhero, to one I would totally read about.
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« Reply #40 on: 01 July, 2013, 03:46:57 pm »

Day 12:

Yet another morning, yet another rainy day, yet another new townsperson. Man, they're just moving to Foxvale like flies to a shit. Except the town isn't shit, and the townspeople aren't really like flies... I think I lost my analogy. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, new villager, named Jaques. Now, I know what you're thinking. A french person, in Foxvale? It's more likely than you think, but no. It may sound french, but I assure you, he's not.


Hey, Jaques, what are you talking aboot, eh?

That is the most canadian bird I have ever seen in my life. He's even got a checkered red lumberjack shirt and everything. But he is as much of a kiss-ass as Keaton, so I think I'll like him.

Having welcomed Jaques, I ran into Canberra, who was holding a present. Delighted and honoured, I took the present from her, excited to open it. She had given me a present... I didn't care too much about Canberra before, but now... this present had changed that.

And then she told me to bury it.


If you keep up that attitude, I won't be your friend for much longer.

But it's okay! After I buried it, she did give me a present, as a way to thank me. To show my appreciation and goodwill, I immediately put it on. And now I look like a dunce.


Waldo has never been easier to find.

But there was no time for that. I had once again found myself with a substantial amount of money, and I was faced with a tough choice. Pay off my debt to Tom Nook, or help fund the cobblestone bridge, because those fucking lazy townspeople ain't donating shit. Undeterred, I went to the post office to pay off my debt, because screw the bridge.

Figuratively, not literally.


I feel like I've seen this before.

Finally, I was free from from debt. Free from the 98,000 bells of debt. Free from Tom Nook. Although he was being nice about it, he still had control over me. But not any more. I was, once again, a free man. I decided to go taunt him about it, because I'm the mayor, and also a bit of a dick.

'Hah', I said, as I entered Nook's Homes, 'I'm free now, Nook. How do you like them apples, huh? I bet you're really worrying now, right?'
I said, confident in myself.


Enlarging, you say?

I stopped. 'That... that does sound kind of nice, actually,' I said.


Seems legit.

And so now I'm 198,000 bells in debt.

You smooth-talking racoon motherfucker.
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« Reply #41 on: 01 July, 2013, 04:12:43 pm »

Heh, Jacques... like Jacques Cartier, the one who discovered Quebec, so OF COURSE he is Canadian and a penguin. I see Nintendo's puns didn't improve with time.
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« Reply #42 on: 01 July, 2013, 04:25:16 pm »

Please tell me that there's a red/white striped bobble hat in the game somewhere.

I had a mental image of you paying back your next Nook debt and then swearing on your life that you'll absolutely never, ever, EVER cave in and get another extension from that bloodsucking raccoon ever again. Then cut to you looking at your enormous mansion going "Aw, how did this happen?!"
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« Reply #43 on: 01 July, 2013, 04:31:01 pm »

Please tell me that there's a red/white striped bobble hat in the game somewhere.

I had a mental image of you paying back your next Nook debt and then swearing on your life that you'll absolutely never, ever, EVER cave in and get another extension from that bloodsucking raccoon ever again. Then cut to you looking at your enormous mansion going "Aw, how did this happen?!"
And Tom Nook to add "Don't mansion it."

...

...

Ok, I'm still worse than Nintendo.
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« Reply #44 on: 01 July, 2013, 07:58:26 pm »

Telling house puns now, are we? I'm sure if I spent enough time dwelling on them, I could come up with some pretty suite puns myself! Although, if my jokes fall a 8it flat then you guys might just lodge some complaints.
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