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« Reply #1590 on: 20 August, 2019, 06:01:02 pm »

I'm afraid to ever go back to Overwatch because I haven't played in a very long time and if I hop in and try to use Symmetra I will be confused and worse than I usually am at Overwatch.
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« Reply #1591 on: 20 August, 2019, 09:11:52 pm »

A few minutes in the practice range to reacclimate would at least get you up to speed on abilities and reworks. The game itself you just kinda have to jump back in the deep end unfortunately.

I played Role Queue for the first time tonight. My friend and I both queued for tank while another friend queued for damage. We weren't in voice chat with the rest of the team, so it's definitely interesting having to play around supports you aren't talking to. We went 1-1. I still play a pretty mean Zarya if I do say so myself.
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« Reply #1592 on: 21 August, 2019, 12:21:00 pm »

Finished NITW last night. Still sort of taking it in, but I will say I enjoyed it overall.

I appreciate how human it is even if I don't have a particular character that I specifically identify with. I gravitated toward Gregg and Angus because I wanted to see what version of the "queer folk trying to escape an insufferable birthplace" story they told. EDIT: The overarching theme of "everyone else seems to be growing up/have grown up much faster than me and have concrete goals" speaks to me pretty strongly, though the game isn't necessarily forthcoming on answers.

Kind of wish I could have spent equal time with everyone, though, as I really liked the Bea vignettes, too. I'll see if I wind up playing again to catch the scenes I missed or if I just look them up. I think there's also some extra content that I'll probably look at this weekend.

I think next I'm going to play Eliza because I might as well continue the kick of games about mental health. After that it might be time for another run of Sekiro. I have some other stuff queued up that might also grab me, though.
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« Reply #1593 on: 22 August, 2019, 06:07:03 pm »

The overarching theme of "everyone else seems to be growing up/have grown up much faster than me and have concrete goals" speaks to me pretty strongly
Yaknow, I never thought about this too much but this is actually something I experienced pretty hard and still kinda do. I kinda want to try this now.

Btw are you at all interested in Borderlands 3 by any chance?
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« Reply #1594 on: 22 August, 2019, 06:18:58 pm »

Not really at all, no. I gather the gameplay improvements are significant (they have to be for it to have taken this long), but the humor of Borderlands outlasted its welcome when I played 2, and I can't condone giving Randy Pitchford money. I've got a lot of friends who are planning to play, though, and I don't begrudge them the experience. I'm just gonna take advantage of that three week window before Shadowkeep to play other stuff.
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« Reply #1595 on: 28 August, 2019, 08:31:26 am »

Played two hours of Control last night. So far it is extremely rad.
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« Reply #1596 on: 28 August, 2019, 11:32:09 am »

You playing on console or PC? Been hearing some performance problems for the former.
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« Reply #1597 on: 28 August, 2019, 01:21:17 pm »

I've been thinking of picking this up, but I might wait for a price drop. The visuals all looked very cool in the trailers I've seen.
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« Reply #1598 on: 28 August, 2019, 02:52:47 pm »

You playing on console or PC? Been hearing some performance problems for the former.
I got it on PC because I had heard the same. Not to say that my computer runs any new game at max settings, but it will benefit from any upgrades I make in the future, and it was running fine from what I could tell last night.
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« Reply #1599 on: 01 September, 2019, 01:24:58 pm »

NitW developer Alec Howolka committed suicide. Your thoughts on this?

I hear that nut Zoe Quinn was a catalyst in the tragedy. And good god, trying to investigate via Reddit is utter suffering. Itís an actual circus over there
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« Reply #1600 on: 01 September, 2019, 04:08:26 pm »

The way you've chosen to frame this has me uncertain if you're aware of the larger outbreak of stories in the games industry this past week. To clarify the context, a number of women have come forward with allegations of abuse against some developers with profiles varying from low to high. The most reported of these are Jeremy Soule, the composer for Skyrim among other things, Holowka, and one of the guys behind the Fallen London universe.

EDIT: The first 27 minutes of this podcast have a more thorough discussion of the reporting from last week: https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/bjwm88/we-talk-about-this-weeks-allegations-on-todays-waypoint-radio

I think the sequence of events is that Quinn was inspired to share her story about Holowka Monday night after seeing Soule's victim post her account. Benson and the rest of Infinite Fall took a day or so to post their statement, where they severed ties with Holowka. Following that, another victim came forward, someone who has been working with Holowka on a current project who said she had suffered emotional abuse from him.

Yesterday morning, his sister shared the news of his passing.

So, what are my thoughts? I've learned over the years that when stuff like this happens, I'm better off not saying much. It's more important to elevate the voices of those who have been marginalized than to add my own take to the discourse.

That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. I feel hurt having just recently come to this work and coming away from it touched. It's true what Benson said, that my experiences with the game are my own, that those can't be taken away. I liked the music, though, and that was Holowka. The music is important to the game's ethos. It's hard to separate it. So the game is forever compromised.

The situation reminds me of when I finished watching Car Boys and was high on Nick Robinson right before it was revealed that he was a serial womanizer. It's a similar hurt, and in my initial response, I was quick to rush to defend the work. I was hasty to mourn what could have been if only Robinson wasn't scum, what he and McElroy might have gone onto create together. And that's the trap. That's the hole that fans fall into when then pedestal crumbles. Because when you focus on the work and what you, as a consumer have lost, you ignore and diminish the real pain felt by the victims of the abuser.

It's this false analogue to the Trolley Problem where there are two tracks. On one is an abuser and their game. On the other track are ten victims of abuse and the games they might make if they aren't chased out of the industry because they don't feel safe or supported. It's a false dilemma. You have to pull the lever every time, but most of the time it's too late. Women and victims of abuse have to be believed in order to normalize the practice of exposing their abusers.

Nick Robinson lost his job at Polygon. After the fallout had blown over, he went back to creating content, and I think he has a Patreon. He goes to E3 and GDC and other industry events. He tweets. He's still around. I don't follow him anymore. I don't know what he's done to change, or if he is someone that people should be comfortable working with. I know there are plenty of people who are not happy that he's still around.

Alec Holowka couldn't see a road back. His sister said as much. It sounds like he he himself was not healthy. I think that's probably true of most abusers, and maybe there's a caustic irony that they would benefit from resources taken up by their victims. I was watching a video the other day that talks about hyperproblems, a bunch of seemingly disparate issues that are actually interrelated in complex ways. Our society's lack of an institutionalized mental health system looms large over this.

It's all so damn complicated.

I don't think it's unreasonable to say that more should be done to support and protect victims of abuse and at the same time say that thought needs to be given to the road back for the people who perpetrate that abuse. What does rehabilitation look like for them? They can't really make things right, so what can they do? How do you convince someone who has just had all their professional and creative ties severed - deservedly so - that there's a reason to go on? I don't think anyone knows.

The solution most definitely does not involve victim blaming or victim shaming. Eileen Holowka, after saying she was walking away from everything in her statement, had to immediately post a followup statement urging people not to harass Zoe Quinn. I don't know about you, but I don't know who Zoe Quinn is without Gamergate. That's one hell of an asterisk to have attached to your name, a name that a lot of easily frenzied young men know. And now this.

It's easy to say "Well maybe they shouldn't have posted this on Twitter, maybe they should have done their whistleblowing through a different channel." What channels, though? People in their situation often don't think they have access to other platforms, and they don't feel respected or taken seriously by existing institutions. Look at what happened when allegations of harassment rose up at Naughty Dog. Like, yes, they shouldn't have posted her story on Twitter, one of the worst websites on the internet (in large part because of harassment techniques popularized by GG), but what else are their options? Keep in mind that they want to make sure this story gets heard so that other victims can feel emboldened and to prevent other people from falling victim.

I can feel myself starting to circle back around, and that's how this conversation tends to go. Endless spinning in circles while progress comes in tiny steps.

You asked me what I thought, and this is what I've been thinking about throughout the week. It makes me ask a bigger question, to what extent is the space around games healthy? I really don't know. There are a lot of problems. Would that it were just a hobby without all the qualifications, but this is what we have to deal with. I think it's well worth having the conversation and working toward a better culture.
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« Reply #1601 on: 01 September, 2019, 06:23:25 pm »

I will have to give that podcast a listen to get a better understanding and reflect on all evidence. I didnít know about that looming controversy as I tend not to bother with social media and I was feeling a bit ambivalent toward both parties without any evidence. But, the sister coming out and setting the record straight pretty much removed most of my doubts.

Perhaps I went too far in calling her a nut, but Iím still wary partly because Quinn almost instantaneously deleted their Twitter account following the event. Maybe itís because she wanted to take preemptive action against the inevitable target she basically painted on her back, but if she could get through GG and the storm that followed that she should be able to steel herself and weather this alongside her cohorts and individuals under similar circumstance. It just seems fairly odd to me unless Iím missing something. What I do know is that this probably could have been resolved in a better way and NEEDS to be in the future if weíre going to have any chance of establishing a medium and exacting a needed change in our overall culture.

I also have to say that Twitter is not where our moral and legal compass is set, and most importantly, it is not a true reflection of social order as some would have it. Too many of those participating in such a bubble, I find, aren't true stakeholders in the actual reality that exists beneath it so when situations like this arise, it can be difficult to gauge and invest. There really arenít any other channels either where one can make their voice heard; which makes the future all the more concerning because of how easy it can be to manipulate the social media machine to your will. The destructive potential of crafting a half-baked accusation and immediately running someone into the ground with little to no effort if one wished is immense. Itís difficult because in no way would I defend perpetrators but I do acknowledge the fact that there is extremely little in the means of defense if one happened to be ousted, justified or otherwise, which is kinda whatís happening with the Projared situation from what I have followed. Now, this may just be an outlier or the situation could very well be justified; itís all just shitty all around, in my opinion. I just wish there was more respect in our culture in general, to avoid these scenarios in the first place.

Still, the real consequences of what happened here need to be considered long and hard by everyone involved. More resources should absolutely be allocated to the Mental Health field though, as these mass shootings, abuse cases, and etc. very much stem from that very source and most families/portions of society actively choose to dismiss the fact.
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« Reply #1602 on: 03 September, 2019, 01:14:49 pm »

Scott Benson put his account up.

https://medium.com/@bombsfall/alec-2618dc1e23e

I'd kinda like this to be the last post about this in this topic for a while.
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« Reply #1603 on: 03 September, 2019, 11:19:34 pm »

Been playing more Control.

I can levitate now. Game is good.
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« Reply #1604 on: 04 September, 2019, 06:19:22 pm »

Sakurai is a precious being who must be protected at all costs. We aren't worthy.


In other news, I'm finally going to play Super Metroid.
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