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Anime news, with your substitute host Bass! Seventh Edition!

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5BASS
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« on: 14 August, 2007, 01:29:37 pm »

Note, the jokes in this topic are meant to kill you. Please, just die, it will make my work much easier.

Hullo everybody, and welcome to another edition of ANIME NEWS! I'm your substitute host, the ever lovable Bass! As some of you might know, the regular host, that is to say ILS, was viciously attacked by raving pokémon anime fans, after having insulted the anime, a bit too much. I personally think he deserved it, but whatever.

Todays top story, is exactly that. The tragic tale of ILS. A few days ago, just after having finished the sixth edition of this show, the host ILS was attacked by fans of the horrible pokémon anime. One of the culprits were caught shortly afterwards, and stated "It wuz nud our work! It wuz tha work of GODZ!!" This clearly states, that he is in fact, a loon. ILS is currently hospitalized, but is expected to recover soon. His biggest injury, is a punctured lung, and a big cut near his rectal area.

Actually, a surprising amount of mishaps involving users happened recently. Of course, nothing happened to yours truly, as I can control my emotions fully, and perfectly.

Newspost #1: The user Zeldafan42 was seen today, running around in what appeared to be Urahara Kisukes hat. She screamed "I GOT IT!!! I FINALLY GOT IT!!!". Urahara Kisuke stated during an interview: "I didn't know her...but MAN that was some nice jiggles!"

Newspost #2: The user SA2 was busted today, when a lot of Kagami x Konata fluff was found on his harddrive. "How can you bust me, it's the best pairing ever!!" He said. SA2 seemingly shot the police officer in the foot, and is still on the run.

Newspost #3: Sasori1122, the creator of the site Brawlers paradise, was found sitting in a puppet shop, irregularly moving his fingers around. "T-they're moving! They're moving I tell you! Look!!" said the confused Sasori. None of the dolls were actually moving at all...

Newspost #4: The user Davidk92, jumped off a tall building today, screaming "I can fly!!!" All the way down. Just before hitting the ground, people say he said "Save me Gohan!!" Before going splat on the ground. He is currently in critical condition, but will most likely live to jump another building.....Jump another building? Jesus, what's WITH these people? Can't they control their feelings for anime? Jesus...

Newspost #5: I CAN'T HOLD IT IN ANYMORE!!! I love L!! I love L x Light yaoi, I luff DN, I luff Johan and monster!!! I LOVE IT ALL!!!!!!


Security: Miss Bass...

BACK OFF! JOHAN'S MINE!!! MINE!!!!!

Security: Miss Bass, calm down!

I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!! YOU WANT TO STEAL MY L AND JOHAN!!

Security: *Tackles Bass*

OH SURE!! TORTURE ME ALL YOU WANT, I'LL NEVER TELL!! YOU WON'T KEEP ME DOWN!!! YOU'LL NEV-

*Screen reads, "We're sorry, we're having technical difficulties, please bear over with us"

.......................

*Broadcast ends*
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I_like_Nonon
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« Reply #1 on: 14 August, 2007, 01:30:45 pm »

*Is still in the hospital*
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5BASS
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« Reply #2 on: 14 August, 2007, 01:31:12 pm »

*attacks ILS*
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I_like_Nonon
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« Reply #3 on: 14 August, 2007, 01:32:53 pm »

Ah!

My rectal area....
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Marie Rose
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« Reply #4 on: 14 August, 2007, 01:33:32 pm »

Newspost #2: The user SA2 was busted today, when a lot of Kagami x Konata fluff was found on his harddrive. "How can you bust me, it's the best pairing ever!!" He said. SA2 seemingly shot the police officer in the foot, and is still on the run.

( Smiley)b *Is still on the run*
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k3v1ndud3
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« Reply #5 on: 14 August, 2007, 01:33:49 pm »

*thumbs up*
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k3v1ndud3
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« Reply #6 on: 14 August, 2007, 01:34:05 pm »

oh yea, i was kisukes hat for like an hour yesterday XD
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« Reply #7 on: 14 August, 2007, 01:35:02 pm »

oh yea, i was kisukes hat for like an hour yesterday XD

Oh, that was you
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k3v1ndud3
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« Reply #8 on: 14 August, 2007, 01:35:18 pm »

yes, yes it was.
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« Reply #9 on: 14 August, 2007, 01:35:42 pm »

yes, yes it was.

I C, I C
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k3v1ndud3
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« Reply #10 on: 14 August, 2007, 01:35:53 pm »

i thought is was hostess, not host!
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I_like_Nonon
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« Reply #11 on: 14 August, 2007, 01:36:24 pm »

That was you?

Wow.

i thought is was hostess, not host!
Duh.....LOOK A BIRD!! *Is unable to flee because I'm in the hospital*

...damn.
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5BASS
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« Reply #12 on: 14 August, 2007, 01:36:39 pm »

I just copied what the monkey gave me
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k3v1ndud3
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« Reply #13 on: 14 August, 2007, 01:36:52 pm »

why is everyone suprised that i was kisukes hat?!?!
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I_like_Nonon
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« Reply #14 on: 14 August, 2007, 01:39:37 pm »

I just copied what the monkey gave me
At least this monkey can write somewhat hilarious jokes.
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