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Maniac's QUALITY anime log

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Author Topic: Maniac's QUALITY anime log  (Read 11655 times)
« Reply #1365 on: 11 July, 2011, 01:10:53 pm »

First anime for my new goal is Canary, #22. Canary is another 25-minute visual novel adaptation (I think the title is Song of Canaria), made in 2002 and sporting a look that would be antiquated by the standards of 1996. This is about a band that has its show scheduled in a town festival shut down and must contest some woman of vague importance (voiced by Yui Horie; this is pretty much a transparent vehicle for her) in order to play. More than anything else, this is a ridiculous slapstick comedy that jumps from place to place erratically and ultimately makes no sense whatsoever. This suffers from all of the flaws you would find from a 25-minute visual novel adaptation: characterization is virtually non-existent, the scenario is poorly established and pretty much everything is condensed to the point where following it is hard to do. It's yet another visual novel adaptation that assumes that the viewer knows all about it, and yet doesn't any depth to actually satisfy someone with any knowledge of the set-up. However, as stupid as it is, it does have plenty of chuckle-worthy moments, if only in a flat what kind of way, and it's ridiculous scenario is used in a way that actually makes it barely watchable and fortunately not in the crass way Apocalypse Zero approached itself. In the end, this is a below-mediocre OVA that is incredibly stupid and nonsensical, but enough for it to still be vaguely watchable. --- 4/10


Second anime is Hanoka, #13. Hanoka's main gimmick is that the art and animation are entirely done in Flash. Unfortunately, this isn't at a Venture Bros. level of quality, so the gimmick of this anime is entirely wasted on something that looks fit to be found on Newgrounds. Hell, what this is done in doesn't matter in the end, since the final product is dumb as a sack of hammers even without  the terrible design. First of all, every episode is 4-5 minutes in length, but each have a normal-length OP and snippets from the previous episode that take up a massive chunk of their content. From the start, we're down from 50 minutes of content to about 30. In the duration of these 30 minutes, the plot does nothing but become a mess of cliches (loli half-alien supersoldier fights furry, anti-industrialization aliens with her unintentionally trappy  soon-to-be-boyfriend), with a cast that could politely be described as anime stereotypes. Plot progression and characterization flip-flops at the drop of a hat. Every single episode ends with an incredibly cliched, insipid and predictable cliffhanger. Honestly, I would be complimenting this if I called it retarded. --- 1/10

Few notes: 1) Every single Hanoka video on YouTube has a comment from this faggot who spams shit like "you couldn't make this so shut up." It's adorable that this terrible piece of crap that manages to be uglier than those Adventure Quest ads actually has a single, retarded fan. 2) I found an episode of Cosprayers in the related videos bar. If you like Hanoka, then you might like Cosprayers! If you like Cosprayers or Hanoka, then you might like a clean mercy kill!


Third entry is Born By Myself, #11. This one is kinda tricky; first of all, it's not anime. It's not even on Anime News Network, which has an extremely comprehensive encyclopedia; essentially, if it's not on ANN, it either isn't anime or doesn't exist. I have no fucking clue why this is on MAL, but then again, I found My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic on there. Second, this is nowhere to be found outside of a download on the main page for the producer of this. Anyway, this is... kind of a fusion of claymation and stop-motion, and it's kinda neat in a weird way, but HOLY SHIT THAT FUCKING AUDIO. This is pure, absolute earrape; it actually deafened one of my ears for a while. Guess what rating this gets by default? --- 1/10

By the way, this anime had so few members who have watched this that my 1/10 has now placed it as the 9th worst anime. Uh, whoops? No, not at all, this is physical painful to watch.

I'm done for now. The first 1/10 I ever gave was to Mars of Destruction, because it was so stupid that it deserved it in spite of how funny it was. However, my time doing this has given me so many 1/10s that I've re-evaluated it and have given it a 3 because no matter how terrible Mars of Destruction is, it's light years ahead of some of the other things out there.
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