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Maniac's QUALITY anime log

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Author Topic: Maniac's QUALITY anime log  (Read 11655 times)
Maniac234678
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« Reply #1365 on: 20 July, 2011, 07:41:02 pm »

Today's recommendations are courtesy of Ahriman. You better fucking read these.

First anime of the day is the Panzer Dragoon OVA, #13. I have never played Panzer Dragoon, but from what I can tell (read: comparing the intro of Panzer Dragoon and a few other videos to this), this is an alternate version of Panzer Dragoon's story that basically shoehorns more traits found in bad one-shot OVA's into the plot and rolls with it. It's not the worst thing, since the Saturn version of Panzer Dragoon didn't have a plot that would coherently work in anime, but this doesn't do Panzer Dragoon any justice either. While the game looked and sounded impressive, this is just a generic $10K project from the 90's that is filled to the brim with QUALITY art and CGI and boring anime stereotypes. Essentially, you can't really make an anime out of the Saturn Panzer Dragoon without overhauling it and putting significantly more effort into this than just a 25-minute blow-off project. Honestly, considering that 2/5ths of this is a retelling of the opening of Panzer Dragoon, just go watch that instead of this. It's significantly more rewarding. -- 3/10

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Second entry is Fish in the Trap, #22 and the lowest-rated pure yaoi (Kimera is also yaoi, but that also has an action bent) on MAL. Heheh, oh boy, oh boy. So, this piece of shit stars this kid named Matsui. He's a thoroughly flat character whose only distinguishing trait is that he's a bold-lettered uke, but he still manages to attract this older athlete named Yuuji. He's tall, handsome, rich out of his ass and a great athlete... oh god, this is already stereotypical as fuck. Anyway, Yuuji immediately gets a boner for Matsui, opts to abduct him and take him to a bar and introduce him to his thuggish friends, all of whom would be stereotypical, limp-wristed faggots if they weren't, you know, assholes. These guys are so obviously slimy that even Matsui could tell that they're bad news, so after being coerced to try out a few drugs, he gets the fuck out of there. After managing to run away from these guys, Matsui is stalked by two of these guys who manage to notice him in an arcade, and once the entire gang gets together, Yuuji accosts Matsui and rapes him. Soon after, back in that bar after leaving Matsui completely stripped on the ground, Yuuji has an epiphany and decides to leave this group. After this, we get a time skip where Matsui joins his school's swimming club and immediately runs into Yuuji, where we have this sort of "love at first sight" pan and... the show ends.

Can you count the ways in which this is fucked up? This Yuuji guy is a slimy creep who rapes this retard, and he's treated sympathetically, his act of **** is completely glossed over and he gets some sort of a poorly-conceived redemption. His friends are creepy as fuck as well and, while they represent the wrong crowd, they're treated in a way that's vaguely sympathetic because, you know, they're really handsome fags and yaoi fans like that. In general, this is yet another yaoi/shoujo entry that treats horrible people within it sympathetically when they're really horrible people who deserve to be punished. Beyond the terrible implications of the scenario, this does its best to be as stereotypical of a yaoi entry as possible, with two slow and drawn-out "sex scenes" (nothing explicit shown, though, just guys sticking their hands into unzipped pants and cut outs) and tons of longing gazes with corny porno blues playing in the background. It's fucking generic, uninspired and coy when it gets to its meat and potatoes, and completely stupid everywhere else. --- 2/10

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Last entry is something that I hold near and dear to my heart: Isshoni Training, #14. So, apparently Hinako was a live-action hikikomori who was sucked into her TV after wishing she could be in anime. She has gained weight (hint: it's in her breasts) and thus she invites the viewer to work out with her. Not going to lie, the first six minutes of this OVA are so absolutely shameless that they're absolutely hilarious; those six minutes are so firmly entrenched in "so bad it's good" territory that I was considering giving this a fairly decent score for what it is. I would recommend watching those six minutes, actually. Thing is, after that, it just repeats her exercises for another 18 minutes after that with the same fucking insert song and clips. Any and all diversity exists only in the fact that Hinako wears different outfits on occasion, but most of time, she's wearing a slutty tank-top and short shorts. There are a few miscellaneous clips that are intended to pander to the viewer sparsed out through these 18 minutes (the last 30 seconds are just Hinako laying down, looking bored while counting... uh...), but for the most part, it's just the same clips, same sounds, same music... uh... well, fuck, it's just 6 minutes of gold and 18 minutes of nothing. This is definitely better than Isshoni Sleeping, but by a pitiful margin. --- 2/10

25. Dracula: Sovereign of the Damned
24. Sword for Truth
23. MD Geist II: Death Force
22. Fish in the Trap
21. Canary
20. Tekken: The Motion Picture
19. Eiken
18. Kimera
17. Battle Spirits: Ryoko no Ken
16. 6 Angels
15. Kämpfer Picture Drama
14. Isshoni Training
13. Panzer Dragoon
12. Hanoka
11. Born By Myself
10. Vampire Wars
9. Aos
8. Isshoni Sleeping
7. Human Zoo
6. Apocalypse Zero
5. Armageddon
4. Garzey's Wing
3. Psychic Wars
2. Tenkuu Danzato Skelter Heaven
1. Mars of Destruction
« Last Edit: 21 July, 2011, 11:27:12 am by Reinforce » Report Spam   Logged
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